30

I was beginning to fluff snow.

Flittering, like little butterflies. The flakes dainty, delicate, were tiny drops of ice melting when they touched any heat.

It was beautiful.

People loved the winter. Sledding. Ice skating. Pie, eggnog and sweaters. Bulbed lights adorning trees in the streets in Tokyo, shop windows lit up, smudged with patterned frost. Gifts for those you care about, laughing over sports on the television, dinner, office parties.

All it reminded him of was when he was ordered to be locked in the freezer.

She knew the emotion controls made his blood cold.

It was a punishment for him disobeying, but trick was, he couldn't disobey even in the least, she would just say the word 'disobey' as an excuse to hurt him, and one of those 'disobedience' trials she did with her control was walking him into a freezer and shutting the door.

Making him stand there in some emotion. In the cold. Alone.

She'd pad lock it, even though she had him latched, knowing he couldn't leave. That was just to show her dominance over him, her ownership.

The ice would collect on his hair, he could feel his temperature dropping, his heart slowing, skin growing icy, turning purple. The little heat his body had that was left, would make the insides of his lips would turn cold like rocks, and a shiny film would cover them; in a thin layer of frost.

Two hours at a time.

Then she'd open it, let him come out. And the body, his body, would fall sick, and it would not function due to it's illness. And then she'd take his clothes off, bathe him, place him a soft bed, nurture him so well after she'd punished him, only to do it again every so often.

Manipulation.

That was it.

She'd treat him awful, then she'd do false good.

Ashley was a walking, talking, massive narcotic. A poison. A cancer.

Kasaya clicked off a miniature vodka, slammed it. Breathed air through that booze as it went down to feel the sting, his stomach warmed and feeling full.

He was so attached to that feeling. The feeling that alcohol did for him. He didn't want to feel her cursed LOVE emotion left on him, and the vodka made him feel content.

Truly he was an alcoholic by method now, a habit that was spawned by her, but he kept it because he did not want to feel her inside himself, skittering around like a leech.

He'd been sitting here, in the UA baseball team dugout since he'd left the lounge where he'd used his quirk on Katsuki for the first time.

He regretted it, but he felt that he had to stop him. He didn't really trust Aiwaza, but he was a professor and a professional hero, and it was an awful thing that a student was mauling him. Also awful that Bakugo was completely out of his shell.

Out of his mind.

In a way, Saya had saved him, from himself.

He was already doing it. He'd had the thought that the blind rage Katsuki had would end up killing him if he wasn't careful.

Kasaya couldn't let him do that. He just, he couldn't. He cared for him too much.

In that moment he knew, he was the dragon master wailing at the beast's ankles, begging for it to calm, when it was just losing itself and going insane.

That was who he was by caring for Bakugo Katsuki, who he'd become, and and by doing it once, showed that he'd do.

Katsuki. He had to learn to stop himself. Somehow. What if he wasn't there to pat the flames of insanity down?

Air. He'd needed air. The craziness of what Bakugo was doing weighted the aura, had made it thick in there, in the lounge. Katsuki's energy was too much. Flying all over the place, seething, whipping like a gas stove's burner.

Saya didn't go to a usual place.

He didn't want to be in the room where he could smell Suki's aroma. He didn't want to be in the building where they practiced martial arts together. In the empty 1-B classroom sitting in his desk where Bakugo had met him today.

He just wanted to be somewhere new. Where he wouldn't feel consumed by the biker cut's images, smell, the memories he had with him, that he'd made with so far, so his head could just separate itself from what happened, so he could try to wrap his own head around it.

Free himself from that incredibly dense aura.

Kasaya knew somehow that Suki's energy was off, he could tell that it was not the same as it had been before started beating on Aiwaza.

Saya had always been like that. He could 'sense' things, like a strong 'listen to your gut', he could tell when someone's field around them was off-kilter, off balance, that their ying and yang was uneven.

It served Ashley Connely so well. He inherently knew, and those gut feelings she used acutely.

He then unzipped his bag, wanting to write a list, wanted to focus on his quirk for a second. Merge School was one thing, but what about after?

Kasaya was not set on training his quirk, but bullet points written on paper, that was a start.

Because he would down her. He'd get her caught, trap her, get her put in jail, and her father too.

Or kill her. "Or... kill her." He mouthed. It defied his brother. It really defied himself as well. But if it came down to it, he might have to. And if he had to, with no other choice... stuck?

He would.

This was his new direction. He couldn't ignore it anymore. He could at least thank Suki for that, for opening his eyes. For making him feel safe in admittance of his past that wasn't even his, it was hers that he lived. Robbed of a childhood, of some of his teen years.

He'd get her. He'd get her. The blonde may have to learn to control his blind rage, as to not hurt every single person alive while in it, but Saya still felt a need to watch over him, to protect him from himself. He knew there was a cap on how far Suki should allow himself to go, but as of right now, this event with Aiwaza further backed up why he had to watch over Suki.

Why he'd left was because he knew his voice couldn't even get through with the state he was in. He was confused, because he'd thought he'd shared his whole past with him. He was hurt because he'd been hit blindly like a dog, like Ashley would smack him, but because it was Bakugo who had done it.

He just wanted to understand. And he didn't, couldn't grasp it. He felt weird from his aura, melancoly in emotion, cried.

And he left, which he felt was the worst thing he could of done for Suki, but the best thing he could of done for himself.

And in doing so, by leaving, that put himself first, rather than putting Katsuki first, but yet... Saya had no choice except to apprehend Suki with his quirk, and walk out for awhile.

Maybe Katsuki wouldn't want to be near him anymore after this, feeling like he'd abandoned him somehow, but still, if there was some hope that they could pull it back, he would.

If they were to glue it back together, Kasaya knew, he'd have to be strong enough to be able to snap him back to reality if this happened again.

Using his quirk on him, Saya felt that was too easy. What Satoko wanted was not to use it, to be that person that could just whisper and hold him down, and that his presence and words would bring him back. That his care could bring him back. That his touch could bring him back.

Saya only wanted to use his quirk as a fail-safe in that blind rage. Kasaya did not enjoy using his quirk on him. Not at all.

It teared him up to watch the man that he'd shared so much time with, some passion, fall senseless to the floor. To watch the emotion, everything just fade.

Cinnamon eyes lost thier shine as the body became blank. Dead but not dead. A log on the floor.

He hated using his quirk, Suki had made it a little more fun going out with him, but hated the look on the people's faces right after it 'latched'.

Absent. A person, but the body placid. Like a person in a straight jacket at a mental asylum staring at the wall.

Satoko began to mumble as he wrote, paused to crinkle open the cigarette pack, one going to lip, a snap, a light. Moving the long navy hair, wet in a few places from the snow behind his ear, the dugout only semi-protected him, be began. "Level 1's- Controlling people by sayin' their name. For'a'new order and the are out of range I'can restate name, as long as I can still see'em, then it will fire again. Each task will still go, one after th'other, and not be dismissed by the next, unless I say so. After five hours of non-use name control wears off. I can'ask a control a person t'use their quirk an' they will. I can sense auras. Level 2's- Has to be used by callin' on my brain. Library Storage. I can ask my'head to search f'somethin', to remember somethin', and it will. By usin'knowledge my brain can apply it t'my body, pushin' my body to it's physical limits t'achieve feats in the dredged knowledge. Example, askin' it to search parkour, an'then my body, like a download can'suddenly do it. Level 3- White light. I don't know." Satoko swallowed. It was down to saying random words. Strange it was. It was like Diasuta didn't even remember this level either. The reel he got back was incomplete. The only incomplete reel he'd ever had. "Mist. Invisible. Gone."

Perhaps the Level 3 power was too strong that it even overpowered his own head, his own brain?

All he remembered, that Diasuta fed him back in that reel, was a brightness. There was a man. He was set to kill him. He was in front of his face.

Ashley beckoned his brain to use his Level 3.

Diasuta did.

Suddenly the man was gone. He seen the ground. Dirt around him in a circle.

Satoko seen movement.

He looked up, and what he viewed dumbfounded him: The hero professor, Aiwaza, walked behind Bakugo Katsuki, lumbered casually, coming down the hill.

'He came?' Saya didn't dare move, just sat cross-legged on the far end on the dugout.

He had asked Bakugo to meet him.

After a few hours and he felt more settled, he'd texted him, knowing full well he would be active for another three.

He'd come to gather that he just... he just wanted to understand. He wanted to get what that was, why it happened. He crunched the paper in his pocket, zipped his bag. He could feel Bakugo was calmer now, his energy wasn't peaceful, but it was better.

Saya was glad for that, maybe what he'd done using his quirk on him, maybe it had actually helped. He hoped.

They approached.

"Didn't know you smoked." Aiwaza sat down on the bench. Katsuki halted, stood, not looking at anyone, his hand on a pole, watching the snow falling across the field, that was lit by only a few lights. It was getting heavier now.

Saya pulled up on the collar of his black trench. "Y'don't know me, so." He shrugged away from him. "Bu'yeh. I smoke."

"I do too, jus' not around students."

That struck him. Eraserhead was beginning to unroll a tiny bit as being someone he could stand. He was a lot different than he'd thought, with the informal way he was eating and dressed, and now admitting he smoked, but he still wasn't going to let his guard down. His embarrassment over what happened between his body and Eraserhead was gone, that was a relief. "Want'one?" Satoko said dry, crunching his pack to pull one out. He didn't know why. Just being nice he guessed.

"Sure." Aiwaza took it, sat back a little, laying an ankle over a knee. He pulled a steel lighter out of a inside pocket, snapped it, and lit it. "Thanks."

"Hn." Kasaya responded, looking at Bakugo's form.

They both still looked like entire crap. Saya could tell Aiwaza had showered though, his face was cleaned up, Katsuki's was still an entire mess, dried blood was caked on his face like icing.

Bakugo then moved. Instead of sitting on the bench, he just sat on the cement floor of the dugout, his face not facing Saya. He'd hurt him and broken him enough to where he felt he had to leave, he had to apologize, but now that he was here, and Saya was sitting not 6 feet from him... He was stuck. Frozen.

So charming Saya was to Bakugo right now: Dots of light in the beads of melted ice in his long hair, which flowed gracefully over his wide collared coat. Graceful the way his lightly pink lips made a perfect curve for that cigarette to suck. Nose slender and petite, a little red on the end from the chill outside.

It was breaking Katsuki up, completely up, he felt the need to start crying again, and was having a hard time containing it.

Saya realized nothing was happening. He wasn't saying anything. Where had Bakugo's voice gone? That rough timbre that was so utterly gripping?

Something was so wrong.

Kasaya knew since he was calm, he could dig in now. Get into that trench with him, to try to grasp an unstabdjng if what had happened. He hoped it'd end well. He wanted it to end well.

With courage (he needed it because he was not sure what he was going to be told, or how Suki would react), he stood, came over to sit by him on the ground, crossing his legs, not sitting too close, as not to alert Aiwaza that they were 'whatever they were', if they were still 'whatever they were', if from this they could still be that.

He got the drift that Bakugo had told Aiwaza something. Satoko was surprised. Bakugo admitting anything to anyone was off. But admitting something to Aiwaza, a professor?

Whatever it was, it must be really bad. Really, very bad. So bad that it tore him up immeasurably and immeadiately as soon as his quirk wore off him. So much that he'd broken and told Eraserhead.

The professor coming signaled that to Satoko. It also showed him that they'd sorted things out, somehow.

Kasaya was content with that. That showed that Bakugo truly had come to his senses.

"Hey." Satoko said low eyeing Suki's face, his left cheek to him. Then looked to Aiwaza, who was staring off across the ball field now, only semi-there, then back.

Shota was trying to monitor, but giving space. He'd seen Satoko was collected, so that was one thing answered for him, the kid was okay, but he wasn't sure how this conversation would go either, and feeling closer to Bakugo at least, he wanted to remain. He's screamed in the lounge loud at him: PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!

Aiwaza would not. He would not leave him.

Maybe this was what a dad felt like. Aiwaza smirked into his cigarette.

"Look at me." Kasaya put a fingerpad under his chin with a finger. Tilting Suki's jaw towards him. It was a little personal for trying to keep his distance, to make it seem only friendly, but he just... he just wouldn't look at him. Smoke filtered around him as Saya's sucked, he dropped his finger on the chin to take the thing out.

A tear ran down Bakugo's face. It was silent, and just one. It looked like crystal on that pale skin.

Kasaya figured maybe he should go first. "I was a mix of' stuff that's why'I left."

No response.

"I'was hurt, but, mostly I was'confused. I didn't know what more I'could do with'you like that. I didn't want t'use my quirk on you." Kasaya got down to a whisper. "I'm sorry."

"It was'me that made'you feel y'had t'leave." It slowly cracked. "What'I did made y'feel that'way." He still couldn't look at him. His insides ached so horrible.

"Yeh. Jus'tell me'why."

Bakugo suddenly looked at Aiwaza.

Eraserhead noticed and stared at him for a second.

Kasaya knew. Yes, absolutely he'd told him something. "Tell'me what y'told him." He was eager. He wanted it.

"I'don't want you t'think I'm usin'you."

Satoko scooted a bit closer. "Explain and I'll make that decision." He sucked on his cigarette. Then he had a quick instance, he held it out to him. "Here." He wanted to see if he'd take it, he wanted to see him put it in those lips of his. He was trying to let him know in a nonchalant way that he was in a better state of mind now too.

Bakugo did, but shakily.

Aiwaza eyed. So, Bakugo smoked too. 'Okay.' Acknowledged. He'd let it go though. He started smoking around his age. Smoking in his opinion was not as bad as what Katsuki had told him earlier.

He took a puff and handed it back, not turning his face, red eyes, sad but longing as he watched that cigarette go back between, pursed in his mouth.

Kasaya got that stare. He didn't even have to say anything. Katsuki was so sorry too.

He'd told him sorry, because he felt that using his quirk on him was breaking a boundary, it was controlling him, and so Kasaya had to make it audible, he wanted Bakugo hear those words coming out of his mouth. He worked off that since he still wasn't saying much. "I'll never do it again. I won't use my'quirk on you'again." He wanted to calm him with his words and presence. Satoko wanted to be able to do that for him.

"No." Bakugo shied. "You'have to."

"Hah?"

"It comes on'me like that sometimes, this was'the first'time in'awhile."

Satoko handed it back, the blonde sucked, blew, handed, a little movement as he sniffed from the cold.

A tear fell again.

'Damn it.' Kasaya looked at Aiwaza who was looking away. Did he dare?

He did. Quick he reached out to Suki's cheek and wiped the tear off his cheek, eyeing Aiwaza then whole time.

'Thank god. He didn't see.'

But then as Kasaya looked back to Katsuki, he watched two of his fingers come up close to his face, take the cigarette out of his mouth for him, letting his hand fall to his lap.

Kugo leaned. A whisper to the side of the face of the man he cared for.

Kasaya suddenly was red! What! This was way too close for another person to be around and seeing!

"I told'him..."

Saya shivered.

"'Bout us."

The navy haired teen felt apt to pass out. His head fell. 'Wha, wha?' What the hell had gotten into Bakugo?! What was so serious that he talked to Aiwaza about that he'd shared that!

Kasaya closed his eyes, shocked. A light peck on his cheek. Whispers millimeters from his face as the lips pulled away.

He wouldn't of attempted had he not come to realize that their feelings for each still weren't in tact.

Once he felt that lift touch wipe his tear, he knew Saya still felt for him, and he did the only thing he could think of to let him know gently that so did he.

"I'broke y'trust. I didn't lie. I jus'couldnt say it."

Kasaya mumbled but not to Bakugo. "Don't say'anything t'anyone."

"Not my place." Aiwaza, finished off his cigarette.

Bakugo swallowed and moved his face into Saya's long hair.

He wanted to hide his face in it.

Kasaya felt Bakugo's cold little nose touch his neck under his curtain of navy hair. He squirmed a little at the sudden chill, but then relaxed as it started to warm. Suki's breath on his neck was exhilarating, it was already shaking him. "Tell'me."

Whispers between them, that even a few feet away, Aiwaza could not hear. He was zoning out on purpose. He felt they understood why he was sitting there still.

Monitoring like a good teacher.

He really wanted much rather to grant them alone time, but he had to see this played out. He had to ensue that there would be: No fighting. No arguing. No blood. So far so good.

Bakugo started at the very beginning. Whispering in his ear about how he'd found out just recently that the drug was cocaine when he was little. How he'd had no idea what it meant to 'be high' when he was a kid. How he'd graduated through usages and up to using X-ON, only to quit when his grandma got disagnosed. How he chose caring for his grandmother 24/7 rather taking the stuff. How through withdrawals he found that what he was doing he'd never do again, and how the raging was apart of that that was left over, and how All Might was a trigger for that. How he hadn't had a rage fit in awhile, so he thought that he was finally better, but now he knows he's still not. He even told him about the reasoning behind kicking Deku around and bullying him, screaming at him. Purposefully saying shitty things to him to get him to stay away.

(A big segment was spoke though also on how Deku was so adamant still about being close to him, that it actually did make him grow to hate him severely, because of that perseverance. Because he couldn't just take the hint and fuck off.)

Suki also told of how he thought that beating All Might would turn around thier friendship and now he knows it probably wouldn't. How Aiwaza sparked that knowledge. How he was clean now, had been for a few years.

Kasaya got it (and he wasn't upset at all):

All Might was the embodiment of everything respectful and amazing to Midoriya, and that made

Suki mad when he had lived nothing but a crap life, stuck in this haze not knowing what it was or meant to use drugs (because he was never told otherwise), pushing Midoriya away so he wouldn't come to understand what happened with the drugs, his parents, knowing his father killed someone, among other things. Bakugo wanted to shield Midoriya's eyes, his innocent eyes from the perils he'd befallen, so that Midoriya could go on loving life free and untroubled.

So beating All Might and becoming the best was everything to him. For his vindication. To prove and rise where people would see him as the best hero. That he could be the one everyone saw. Rising from the depths of his own darkness.

What sucked was that Midoriya and him started a rivalry to be the best.

What sucked was everyone kept telling him that he was better suited to be a villain.

Izuku was just unknowing though. Clueless.

And everyone else... clueless also.

People. Sometimes people are too assuming, too nosy and too fuckin' blind.

Saya whispered in his ear. "You're a'good person."

He already forgiven him. He was an alcoholic, he knew what it was like to 'want' all the time. To feel and have that 'want'. He wished he didn't have it.

Bakugo sighed into his hair. "I'don't fuckin'feel like it." His head laid on his shoulder now, the lower half of his face mumbly into Saya's warm spot, behind his hair and the space between where his neck met his shoulders. He cried through some of it, but his eyes were done, shot, he'd cried himself tired tonight already.

Kasaya sighed. "Y'worried you won't be able to control y'self?"

"I can't control'the rages. I... I can't. Bu... Saya, I wanna'try t'learn how."

"Y'want me... t'use my quirk on'you... f'now, if it happens... til then?"

Suki sniffed and nodded slow into his hair. "Please." He felt Kasaya put a hand on his side. "That hurt'us today. I can't let'that happen again."

Saya shivered, it was getting damn cold. And Aiwaza looked like he was falling asleep.

So, Satoko knew, for the time being, until Katsuki could get his rage fits under control, he truly was the master. Not just a screaming man, tugging at his feet not to wreck the entire world, but he'd gotten clearance that he could stop him with his 'magic'.

"Y'already smoothin'my hate for Deku. I almos'broke his arm in'the trainin, but I..." He snuggled into the man trying to stay warm. He wrapped his arms in and under Kasaya's jacket. "I seen you instead as'I looked at him, all red-eyed mad, I heard y'voice an' I realized who I hate more is her."

Kasaya chuckled.

"Saya... you. You change me."

Bakugo shot a million tiny sparks all the way up through Kasaya's spine.

He changes him.

Kasaya had to say it to him.

Aiwaza was for sure asleep anyway. It'd been a few hours of them whispering, and the man was out, even with them being outside. The snow had let up a bit.

Saya moved his head, to pull Bakugo's pale face up out of his hair.

And he scooted him into him, wrapped his arms around his neck.

Bakugo, tired looking, smirked, looked away, looked back. Bashful, but playfully he did wrap him up in his own arms too, cautiously. He didn't want to do anything to him that'd hurt him again in anyway.

But as Saya moved his knees aside his thighs, moving to sit a top his lap, just like in the shower room, a white hot breath, boiling escaped his mouth.

He felt a pulse inside. Eyes met eyes, slowly blinking, fingers began to spread, Bakugo felt a finger running down his lower spine, a finger an inch inside under his belt at his back.

A little push.

Bakugo batted eyelashes in tandem with a quiet huff. He felt... he felt something touching, 'something' of Saya's... on his 'front'.

All it took was one breath.

Like air, it filtered into Suki's ear: "I want t'be your only addiction."

Suki had never clasped those lips up in his own so fast in his entire life.

They were together now.

There was no doubt.