32
"Ohayo." Aiwaza entered and sat at the teacher's desk in the 1-B classroom.
He'd asked Satoko Kasaya where he'd feel the most comfortable doing the course material, and of course, he said his homeroom classroom.
"Ohayo." Kasaya greeted. He'd chose not to sit in his normal seat, but up to the front of the class, so he could be close to the professor as he taught.
He could not fail this.
Katsuki would not let him. He could not let himself. He had to do it. He no longer would go on feeling oppressed. He would not allow Katsuki to explode.
And... all the people that those people probably hurt?
He'd killed so many himself, and that was just him!
Aiwaza came and sat a book down. "The first book. History of Mental Inconsistencies in Society. Today it is chapter 1 to 4. Get to reading. The book is yours, highlight if you want."
"Thank you." He bowed respectfully in his seat. He did hold a candle to Eraserhead now for certain reasons.
Aiwaza smirked. These two just stirred something up in him that wasn't there before. He felt like two problem children had fallen dramatically into his lap, and because of who they were unvieling to be, because of their problem's gripping holds on them, how thier pasts were, Bakugo in his opinion now just as messed up as this Satoko's juvenile record revealed, that he had no other choice except to step in and lead them.
He felt like the world was showing him something. Maybe it was trying to tell him something? He didn't know his role just let, but he could teach them, listen to them; he wanted to be a tower for them to lean on.
It sat his lips to smile at them.
Aiwaza noticed he was beginning to feel invested in both, a growing feeling so much that it set his mind to think of them in different ways now, for him to pursue a means to help them so much more.
They were good kids, just screwed up.
He'd almost walked that path. He'd admitted to Toshinori that he'd broke some stuff up when he was a teen; threw a few things around in the public eye.
He'd gotten a little few marks for that, but what didn't get caught wasn't too serious either in his opinion: he'd just gotten into a terrible habit of tagging, going out an vandalizing, spray painting graffiti. Made some good art. Wrecked a lot of public buildings' exteriors.
Some people who tag had some sort of agenda behind it, some political message, Aiwaza as a teen?
He just wanted to have fun. He was just being a stupid, belligerent idiot.
"I'll be here if you have questions." He sat back down at Sekijiro's desk, he had final essays to grade, Bakugo's included, and in response to his calls of duty, opened a laptop and began to dig into his inbox. 'Shit.' It's gunna be a long ass day. He knew he'd only get through maybe four or so today.
Satoko nodded at him, cracking open the medical psychology book, pulling out a notebook for notes.
Something inside Kasaya Satoko was off today: his understanding on his position was morphing again to include another root and it was throwing his mind around.
He'd come to an understanding awhile back that through his own pain and suffering, trapped being used by evil, not just by a vile bitch and her father, that he was being made to serve.
Servility. Slave.
But it was rolling deeper than that now.
He was questioning.
And in his servility, who had he been serving then? Her and him, but was it for a greater cause than he thought?
Who the hell did they work for? Did they work for someone at all?
He wanted to know.
He was made into a hitman for god's sake!
He was made into a disaster.
And this disaster, it was coming.
It was coming for her. It was coming for them.
And... the new development for him was that: YES, it was coming at them hard for all the people they murdered too. For all the people that they effected, and probably still were effecting.
Bakugo.
Saya cared about him now, more than he cared about himself.
In the night he wished in their desires he could whisper out into the air his man's name.
'Suki.' He'd softly place inside his ear.
Saya was raptured by him.
He'd been selfishly protecting himself, keeping himself out of harms way, as Hisashi commanded, as he'd agreed, but he couldn't anymore.
'Suki.' Satoko closed his eyes, opened them, he wasn't focused on reading, he wanted to let thoughts run through, so that they could clear before digging into this book!
Why did he begin feeling this way?
At first, this education was just for himself and Suki equally, agreeing to this Merge School.
Recognizing that he had to control Suki for the time being, that made it more important.
Kasaya swiftly and acutely knew a bigger percentage of this schooling now, it was more for Bakugo than himself. So that Katuski, his lovely, amazing, sexy man, would not turn rageful and blow the whole kingdom to ash. Because Katsuki recognized he had problems, just as Saya recognized his own problem with alcoholism.
Sexy. That was... He sighed. Breathed. 'Yeh.' True it was true.
Saya floated for a second. Images of him billowing in his mind. But then his thoughts went back: Any and every person deserves a fucking chance to make it right; to rekindle themselves, to fix themselves.
And how the hell could he deny his Suki the longing opportunity to correct himself?
He simply could not. He would not.
'Suki.' Kasaya was beginning to quiver in his chair. More fluffiness: A grin. Irises staring.
Everyone deserves a chance, his man especially.
He twisted up in the head suddenly. Except Ashley and her father, and thier tyrannical charade of endless cyclical killings he was made to do.
Bakugo asked for him to please control him. He would.
Katsuki's plead. It was so much more important to him than his own protection.
Fighting them meant protecting Bakugo from his rage. It meant walking off campus. It meant no more walls to shield himself from thier wretched treachery... that was probably still going on.
'Sorry Hisashi.'
He knew she'd latched onto another different guy now. She'd told him outright over the phone, that day she called him in the courtyard!
How he felt for that guy! He was probably doing the same shit for her that he was being forced to do!
And how incredibly... angry that made him.
Satoko was developing a sense of heart.
He felt for the guy. Poor guy was trapped!
All those being stepped on and sucked into the schemes, those killed! And worse... those families that were effected by Ashley and her father stomping all over people, murdering them.
He couldn't imagine the feelings of loss that they must of felt, suddenly coming to know that someone they loved was dead.
And what about that new guy that she had latched's family? What about his family damn it!?
He bet they were concerned all to hell! Confused why he suddenly never home! Confused why he was suddenly 'different'!
Fucking heart broken. Like his family had been. Like he knew his father had come to be, like how he felt he was the one that had made him more rigid than he was already. Then to come to know that he had made him cold. Cold as a stone to him, so much that he was smacked across the face with a leather glove for soiling the Satoko name for so long. To understand that he could not change his father's mind. Was so looked down upon that he was left in his brother's care. How he'd grown to hate his father for not seeing the truth. Once told, pleaded with, turned a deaf ear.
But at the same time. He could not blame him. He could not. But there was no saving thier relationship and that he had to accept.
Surely the families of the men he was made to kill were the same, albeit, those people, or persons he was made to end the lives of all owed money to the Connelys, so they'd been doing bad deeds too, but who's to say?
What if they really hadn't been doing that bad of deeds. His previous point: Anyone should be given the chance to turn a leaf, to make the decision to take charge of their wrong-doings and take hold their future. Like Bakugo, an great example.
He admitted there was a point where he felt a line was crossed where someone became just so damn evil that there was no going back and repenting... But those people that he killed, what about them? What about the people that Ashley's new lackey was probably killing?
What if they hadn't been that bad really? He had no way of knowing, but what if they hadn't done too bad of shit themselves? What if they were just in too deep? So tangled up that they just couldn't escape?
One lie... leading to another lie, so that they could remain alive.
Until she got them, until he was made in his flashy suits, shaved, nice hair cut, big diamond earrings, to slash them up with his sword, but not before raping them!
She was robbing those people of their fucking rights to make good and better decisions! To change if they wanted! If they could!
Stealing it away like the god damn snake that she was!
Kasaya suddenly slammed a fist into his desk. He wanted more alcohol already he was so frustrated!
Aiwaza startled, in the middle of Mina's paper, suddenly looked up. 'Woah!' He blinked in surprise. "You okay?"
"No." Kasaya stood abruptly his chair scraping back across the floor. "DAMN IT!!!" He slammed another fist into his desk.
His emotions. He was having such as hard time right now! Bakugo unlocked so much, brought so much to the surface!
He was beginning to feel like somehow he was reverting, somewhat to his old self, but somehow was also walking into a field where these emotions that had been flat and nonexistent for so long, with how strong they were... dredged up empathy. It was paired with a strong need to release decent people in shackles with the Connelys.
To save those damn people that they were killing, by catching them before they had the chance to kill any more!
Bakugo was above himself now, above his need to protect himself, but so were the people.
His emotions made it so. He'd been drinking less too. That he did notice. Katsuki leveled him, he was such a calming device.
"Satoko?" Aiwaza mumbled. Concerned.
Saya's head down, chin in chest. He felt tears.
This was so much for him. Too much!
He knew. He knew now!
All because of Bakugo Katsuki.
Today was the first day of Merge School and it was hitting him hard.
His partner had a strong desire to prove himself that was the 'desired effect' of his conquered hate that he wanted to feel. He wanted to feel 'proven'. To be the best.
But what was his desired effect? What was Kasaya Satoko seeking to gain from his fulfillment of hate?
What would he gain from imprisoning her? Or to kill her (if it come to that), to protect Suki?
The fulfillment of feeling finally safe? To climb on the top of that mountain and shout, to scream out everything she'd done? To breath the air. To smell the dirt. To be ultimately freed of the villian he'd been made to be?
Yes.
But there was something else now that lingered to, another fulfillment that he desired.
It was not to prove himself to the world as his boyfriend wanted.
"I..." Satoko mumbled looking up, his tears were not stopping.
Aiwaza stood. He had no idea what the hell was going on! He feared that this kid was just going to bolt or something! After he'd taken so much effort to get all this compiled! Put together! He had a 'deer in the headlights' look on his face.
"I prom... mise you." Satoko's voice was suddenly rising.
The professor's eyes got larger.
"I WILL NOT FAIL!" It came as a shout.
Aiwaza watched the teen crunch his hands together almost in an angry-like fashion. It was drastically more heavy, emotional in the class room.
"THEY MAKE FUN'OF ME!"
"Who?" He moved around the professor's desk. He was unsure how close he should get with this guy in this mood. His choice was to just try to remain calm. Satoko had a deep power, he'd didn't want to awaken that, nor get latched, nor get into a fight! He'd just gotten to feeling better after that squabble with Bakugo!
"My classmates! They'all laugh at me! Think I'm lame and stupid!" He suddenly plunked down into his seat, both elbows slamming into the desk, head in his palms.
But his classmates, that really wasn't what this was about.
Aiwaza sat as close as he felt he could in a neighboring desk aside him.
"But I'm... I'm not that anymore." He was simmering down. "I don't want t'be quiet anymore."
"It's okay. Change happens."
"I know." He cried. "I... I jus'... he told me that I make him different."
"Bakugo."
"Yeh." He hid his face in his hands. "An... and he does th'same f'me." Kasaya swallowed, adam's apple bobbing, shaking. "He makes me see th'world different."
"Relationships can do that." He smirked. 'Oh man, can they.' How he could agree. Toshi did so much for him, and he tried as hard as he could to do the same. Sometimes Aiwaza had no idea what to do to make him happy, but thing was, somehow Toshinori was always happy with him.
Unlike his previous relationships, where he was left feeling like a bad person because he 'couldn't spend enough time with them'. In his opinion, it simply could of been 'Hey this isn't working out.', that be it; Be adults. Part ways. Wish each other the best in life, and how they find peace. Even a simple hug to show them that you give damn.
But, no. Always a struggle. Always a fight in the breakup.
He was always the more grounded one, always getting that they were just too different, or that he was too committed to work, or too busy as a hero. And they had thier downfalls too! Everyone does!
But he didn't like fighting with partners. He would rather talking out. But never was he graced with that in previous relationships.
It always ended with him being the devil. He'd be made out to be a horrible, lazy boyfriend, then he'd had the finger pointed at him so much. And that would made him feel like shit for weeks.
Which just led him eventually to understand that nobody who cares about you would ever make you want to feel that way.
It was about celebration not toleration.
He couldn't get Toshinori, and his absolute care of him. He cooked for him, made him drinks, and he would flip it around and do the same.
But it was like he don't have to do anything, that just his presence alone could light up Toshi.
It set Shota's body to react, his heart to beat, his face to feel flush whenever his long haired blonde man stared at him, those eyes intense, like they could read his mind. Toshinori's eyes alone made him want to jump, made his skin crawl when the thought came into his head that was being 'watched', and not crawl like he was creeped out, crawl like how realize man in a club was staring from the side at you dancing, and you'd caught them viewing you.
How it heats you when you see their position change in their seat, because you're stirring them. And then you, in response feel stirred as well.
"I... I never wanted to be... anythin'here." Satoko looked up, resting his mouth now on his laced hands. "I didn't care. I didn't feel."
Aiwaza was captured. He was drawn in. This guy was opening up.
It was his turn, he supposed.
Aiwaza felt closer to Bakugo. Maybe he'd feel the same with him too?
"I never gave a'shit 'bout anyone jus'myself. An' then, I started caring f'him. And that care of him... these things... they change my mind around."
"What do you mean?"
He looked now at the professor with his gray eyes, across them floated swirling rivers of white liquid, animation.
Unlike when Aiwaza had seen those eyes in the bunker.
This kid was not the same now. He was 'alive'. Awakened.
And Bakugo had done this?
The professor was astounded! For one thing, he was amazed that Katsuki had drawn up such an obvious change in him, especially with Bakugo's everyday growling temperament (even though that was being altered slowly to be more formidable and agreeable), but most of all he was happy. He really was! These two, they were, or must be, so good for each other that it was damn near dreamlike.
"What I'm sayin'... is what I want f'myself... I always assumed I'd not have'a good future."
'Why in the world would he think that?' The dark haired man was confused. Because of his juvenile record? "And you feel Katsuki is your future?"
"Yeh." Satoko nodded, Hisashi said he could talk to this guy, and Suki had told him something earlier that had changed his mind about him. "I will have a future." It came out resolute. 'Suki.' He closed his eyes. His amazing, cute, pale skinned, laughing Katsuki.
Aiwaza smirked. 'Yeh. So good for each other.' He sat back in the desk crossed his leg over the other thinking of his guy. "I'm sure Bakugo told you 'bout what I told him eh?"
"Yeh." Satoko knew. He'd asked Bakugo why he'd told Aiwaza about them, and he'd shared that he felt emotionally distraught, and aside from Eraserhead being incredibly perceptive, that he'd made him feel comfortable by sharing that he was seeing a man as well.
"Same eh? Don't spread it around?"
"I won't."
Eraserhead nodded. It was a pact then between them.
That was what Suki had told him that made him hold a bit more of a candle to Aiwaza.
Eraserhead had went so far to tell his partner who was torn, ripped, bottomed-out, in his moment of despair, something incredibly personal that related to what he was going through.
Bakugo had said that the professor had been easy-going about it, saying that you 'like who you like' and that should just be it.
That was why he felt that he could share this with him, what he was going to share with him right now.
Katsuki had told him about Aiwaza's relationship status just this morning while they were getting ready.
Eraserhead was a good. It took him hearing it from Bakugo for him to grasp it.
But now he did grasp it.
Professor Aiwaza wasn't just a true teacher, a Sensei, a master in the classroom, who graded tough. He wasn't just a Pro Hero.
He was a decent ass person.
Even though tired all the time, he was incredibly kind, someone who was more set on helping than caring what someone would think of him.
And that... that was what Satoko needed to know.
"Please." He bowed at his desk. "I want you t'be my role model."
Aiwaza suddenly laughed. "Y'dont have to ask that!" He felt floored! He looked over at the kid. "Thanks." He smirked. That made him feel so damn proud!
"What... what I want." He mumbled out. "My desired effect."
"Hm?" Aiwaza turned in the chair, elbows on knees.
Satoko turned too. He looked Eraserhead in the eye. "I finally understand." He started to tear up again, palms gripping his uniform's pants at the thighs in utter courage. "I understand why I'm here at UA."
"And what's that?" Aiwaza.
"My... my boyfriend..." He, openly saying the word for the first time shot shivers all over him, made him shoot his eyes around for a second, but when the professor just sat there uncaring of the term, Satoko knew.
It was the truth!
He could be told words, and he believed Suki, but Saya wanted a bit more. He wanted to see it for himself to be able to trust him more!
And it was true! Eraserhead really was uncaring, accepting, being genuinely gentle and good.
Satoko continued, "he makes me... want, but not just a future with him."
"Hm?"
Satoko stood and abruptly bowed the most low and formal bow he could, and started yelling at the floor at his superior in an extreme wave of clarity.
The cloud over his head parted. A beam of sun shined in. It lit him.
"I will not fail because I want to save people! I will not let who I am end here! I want t'not just save their damn lives!"
He suddenly learched up from his bow, and then fell to his knees bawling, grabbing onto Aiwaza black jeans tightly gripping.
"Please! Be my role model!" His face looked up at Eraserhead's from floor.
Aiwaza put his hands on his shoulders. "It's okay! I will be! It's okay!"
Satoko started mourning even more. It was in purity.
"I want t'give people a chance they'd never had! A chance t'fuckin' change themselves! Jus' like how Suki and I are changin' each other! Please! Please!" His weeping was everywhere. He'd never cried this much in his entire life. "Please!!!! Show me a way! Show me a'way how t'do that!"
He was spurting. He felt! He felt it!
Courage. Duty. Responsibility.
He'd made it out of there! Alive!
Hisashi came in like a crane, and plucked him up, nursed and aided him to health!
He was saved!
But that didn't take away the horrors!
What about everyone else damn it?! He knew about the Connelys! There was nobody else that knew!
Nobody else could fuckin' do anything!
'God damnit!' There was nobody else!
He started crazily shaking Aiwaza's jeans. "Jus! Jus' show me how! Tell me how t'save them all! Tell me how to... how to..." It was starting to crack. "tell me how t'win!"
"Win?"
"I can... I can't lose! Not t'them!"
Aiwaza wanted to ask who he was screaming about, but the kid was so loud and yelling, emotional, and did he smell some liquor now on that breath?
"I don... don't want t'be the best! Not like Suki! I don't want that! I jus' I want t'find a'way to help!"
"You can! You can!" He squeezed his shoulders. Eraserhead just wanted the tears to stop! It was breaking him up inside! One kid, then the next! These boys! And now this one practically begging him to be his role model! It made his overjoyed! He didn't get told stuff like that often! People thought of him as the scary hero with creepy bloodshot eyes!
They both were shaking each other in absolutely wrenching emotions.
"We can fight the madness!" Eraserhead blurted. "You wanna win? You can! We can fuckin' win! Okay?"
"I... I have to do this! I have survived! It's me! Their lives are all on'me!"
"No! No!!! It's not ALL on you! No no no!" Suddenly he squeezed the kid into a hug, feeling overcome. 'Oh shit!' This kid! "No!" He blurted. "You got us! You've got people behind you! You're not alone! You may physically be alone when your fightin'! That's to be expected! But NO!" Aiwaza started feeling himself tear.
"People are... people are dyin'!" He cried into the guy's chest.
"I know! Everywhere! It's fuckin' madness! I can't even walk off campus! I fight two or three every time! It's insane! They hunt me like an animal! They attack students! Follow them home! Shits gettin' fuckin' scary out there!" He swallowed and started crying. Tears spurred over his cheeks. "I'm fuckin' scared damn it!" He shook Satoko a little bit more, this was too much for him! He'd just admitted he was scared shitless! To a student!
"I am too! I'm fuckin' scared! But I have to try! I've gotta try like Suki! Please! You've gotta show me how!!! All I care about is makin' a damn difference!"
And that.
That was the other 'desired effect' he wanted now.
Humbly... he just wanted to make a difference out of his hate of them.
"You can! Join us kid!" Erasehead blurted, ignoring again the fact that Satoko hated being called that. It was just his vocabulary. "Sometimes we fail, but it's the fact that we stand up and fuckin' try! Just like your sayin'! We're the ones that fight those people! We're the ones that for our own vices, all band together under a common cause!"
"Wha... wha... what's the cause?"
"T'end the torment! T'end the suffering! To put a stop to people getting tortured, beaten. Sometimes it's t'save yourself in the process by savin' others." He was starting to calm. He let up his grip, let it get softer, his hug on the teen. "It's to try to just do something. To take a stand and say 'NO!' right in their damn face."
"I want t'stand up t'them."
"Who?" He got the gumption and enough quiet now from Satoko to ask. He knew it had merged from classmates that Kasaya said made fun of him, to talking about villains. But the navy haired teen's tone indicated to him that there was a very personal vibe here. Satoko had a deep itch over something. He just wanted him to trust him enough to tell him.
"The Connelys." His sight went flat. Hazed. Everything white. Blurry. He'd said it. He'd broken it: his brother's trust. To keep it quiet.
So he wouldn't be jailed. So the case had a chance to happen.
Voiced it. Because he trusted Professor Aiwaza. Because he'd shown real peices of himself to Katsuki. He'd shown who he really was to him.
Aiwaza was good. He was.
"Huh?" Eraserhead pulled back, looked his kid in the eye. He took some of his scarf and was softly wiping the tears off the kids face. But it just wasn't good enough as Satoko kept producing more.
Shota's chest hurt. He just wanted these boys' troubles to end!
"The Connelys." Satoko repeated looking out-of-it.
To Eraserhead...
That name.
Somewhere.
Somehow.
He wiped.
And wiped.
It sounded familiar?