Chapter 23

BPOV

I woke up to the sound of the front door slamming, causing me to sit up in bed with a start. Looking at my phone, I realized that it was only six AM. Lying back down with a huff, I raked my hand through my hair. We were on day four of Edward completely ignoring me. Ever since I opened up to him about my mom, things started to get weird. He was fine that night and so sweet with his comfort, but the next morning, he left really early, like today, and then he didn't come home until late at night. Never answering my numerous calls or coming up to bed to sleep with me, I had to assume something had changed.

It was essentially like I was living with the memory of Edward, but not actually having him physically around. I had no clue how to interpret his behavior. Initially, I thought that maybe there was something going on "at work," but that wouldn't explain him not sleeping with me or even telling me what was going on. Was he regretting telling me he loved me? Did he rightfully assume that I was too damaged to deal with this relationship with him because I felt I might be. Liam was the only real relationship I'd had, but my reasons for dating him were superficial, and I stayed with him to spite my dad. Even then, it was over after six months.

For Edward and I to be together, we would have to look over our shoulders constantly and be so cautious. I could imagine Edward didn't want to live that way, and running wasn't an option. They'd just go after his family. The thought of Nonna or Esme being hurt because of us made my heart clench with dread. There was also the issue of my family. If my dad ever came across Edward, I wouldn't put it past him to shoot him without a second thought.

I finally got out of bed because of my racing mind and my bruised ego. Walking into the kitchen, I saw Edward had left a coffee mug on the counter. Something in me just snapped, and I let out a choked sob, throwing the cup against the wall. I slid down the opposite wall, sinking to the floor.

It was like some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy because I never thought that I was enough for anyone. Not for Rose, who could never stand up for me against my dad. Or for my dad, because I didn't want to be who he wished me to be. Nor for Jasper, who desired me to be his girlfriend, not just his best friend. Now, for some reason, in Edward's eyes, I was lacking.

After refusing to get too close to any man, I was now in love with one who wanted nothing to do with me. To make it all worse, he pursued me. I knew I shouldn't have entertained anything with him beyond sex, and it was fine for a while. Until I fell in love with him. And now here I was, sitting on the floor in his kitchen, bawling like a baby.

I heard toenails clicking on the tile and looked up to see Bear staring at me. The huge lovable dog came over to me and licked my hand, nudging it, letting me know I needed to pet him. Giving the dog a small, sad smile, I started to scratch his head and stroke his fur. When he sat down in my lap and licked my face, I started to chuckle. I loved this dog. It was like he knew I was sad and was trying to cheer me up. That made my heart clench because I was going to miss him.

I knew I needed to leave, but I had to make a plan first. Since I refused to go back to my dad's, I figured I could maybe stay in a hotel for a while. I had quite a bit of money from my trust fund and while I didn't want to use it, this was kind of a special circumstance. Looked like all there was left to do was pack. Before I committed, I made one last ditch effort to call Edward. Unfortunately, like all the other failed attempts, it went to voicemail.

As I was walking up the stairs, my phone pinged with a text message from Edward. I opened it and felt my heart clench.

Can't answer right now. Do you need something? - E

The entire tone of the message was off. Shaking my head, I typed out my reply. Trying to talk this out over text wouldn't do anything but cause an argument, and I was decided.

It's not important. Sorry for bothering you. - B

Walking into his bedroom, I grabbed my duffel bags. One I kept packed because it just had all the stuff I had wanted to save from my dad's house. The other had my clothes before I unpacked them all into the two drawers Edward had emptied for me in his dresser. I also had a lot hanging in the closet.

I moved around the room, emptying everything that was mine out of his closet and the dresser. Grabbing my toiletry bag, I went to the bathroom and took all my things. Toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, body wash, etc. Tying my hair into a messy ponytail on the top of my head, I contemplated my current attire.

Last night, it was kinda cold, so I stole one of his hoodies. I was also wearing my own sleep pants. The only thing I needed to do before going to a hotel was go see Jasper. He was the only person I had in my life that I was still talking to. He'd seen me in worse condition, so I decided not to change.

Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I called him. After two rings he answered, sounding sleepy. Shit, I totally forgot it was like 7:30 AM. "Hey, J. Sorry, I know it's early, but I need to come talk to you. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, come on over and I'll get ready. We can go to breakfast or something, yeah?"

Even though I knew he couldn't see me, I nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you in a few."

We said our goodbyes, and I checked to make sure I had everything before going downstairs. Hauling my stuff out to my SUV, I hefted the two big bags into the back before going back inside to leave the key he had given me the evening of the day I started staying here. After placing it on the front table by the door, I took a look around and sighed. Walking over to Bear, I dropped to my knees and gave him a hug and an extra long ear scratch. Forcing myself to be strong, I walked out of the door and headed to my car then made the drive to Jasper's.

When I arrived, I jogged to his door, and then knocked. It took him a few minutes to answer, and I saw his hair was wet, so he must have been in the bathroom. He took one look at my face and pulled me inside and into his arms. Not able to continue keeping it in, I started to cry again, and he just continued to hold me, stroking my hair and rubbing my back. He didn't pepper me with a million questions or try to fix it; he just let me get my emotions out.

We stayed that way until the tears slowed and I could feel a sense of strength. This was going to be hard, getting over Edward, but I could do it, right? It was not like I had much of a choice in the matter. Shifting between anger and sadness was so exhausting.

I pulled away from Jasper minutely, and he looked concerned. "What happened, topina?"

I sighed and sat on the couch, Jasper following me. Glad that he knew about who Edward was, so I wouldn't have to lie. I forged ahead. "I went to dinner with Edward on Sunday at his family's house. I had already met his parents, but his Nonna was there, too. The whole sense of a complete family was starting to make me uneasy, and he could tell something was up. So, later when we were alone again, I opened up to him about what happened to my mom. He was great and really comforting and sweet. Then the next morning, and every day since, he has pulled a disappearing act. He leaves in the morning before I wake up and doesn't come home until I go to bed. Plus, he's been sleeping on the couch or something because he doesn't sleep with me. He told me he loved me. I don't get it."

Jasper looked at me in shock, and I gave him a few moments to let it sink in. He shook his head and exhaled through his nose heavily. "That's kind of a big deal—the L word and you opening up to him."

"Yeah, it makes me wonder if he's having second thoughts or something. I mean, why else would he completely shut down like this?"

"Are you sure it's not something else and you're just worrying about it?"

"I don't know if it's something else. At first I thought that maybe something was going on with work, but he won't even answer my phone calls." I shrugged, trying to stay numb to the pain of that statement. "But my reason for coming over was I wanted to say that I might leave Brooklyn. I refuse to go back to my dad's. I have my trust fund, but I don't want to use it until I know I have a job or whatever. I'm gonna stay in a hotel until I can figure it all out."

Before I could even finish, Jasper was shaking his head. "No, Bella, you can stay here until you need to move. As long as you need."

I looked at him, a little surprised. Not that he offered but that he forgot the big issue with that. "Um, J. What about Alice?"

"What about her?" he asked, shrugging.

"J, she had issues with us hanging out so much that she tried to give you an ultimatum. If I'm living with you, in a one bedroom, I think she will have problems with that," I said. God, men were so fucking clueless sometimes.

"Look, Bella." He raked his hand through his hair, letting out a huff. He was irritated. "She knows the situation, and she also knows that I had a crush on you and you said emphatically no. There is no concern about anything happening with us. She knows that I really care about her and I chose her as my significant other. On the other hand, you and I are best friends and I won't be like everyone else in your life and abandon you." He looked over my shoulder instead of looking straight at me, indicating that he wasn't being one hundred percent truthful.

That was the problem with having a friendship of over fifteen years—we had a hard time lying to each other well. "What are you leaving out of that statement?"

"I'm not—" He started to protest.

"Fifteen years. I know when you're lying or leaving info out." I stared at him, waiting for him to break, just like when we were kids.

He tried to ignore my glare, but eventually he huffed, stood up, and raked his hand through his hair again. I smiled because I knew he was caving. "Alice wants me to move in with her,"

he mumbled.

I scrunched up my nose and stayed silent. Honestly, I didn't hate her as much as before. She obviously cared about him, I could tell. The feeling was mutual from what I could see, but they just got back together. I mean, I guess couples did eventually get to that point. Even though I had been living with Edward, it was because I all of the sudden had nowhere to live. "Okay, so why don't you sound happy about that?"

He looked at me in surprise. "Because if I lived with her, she would always be around. You guys don't get along, so I'd never see you."

"Okay, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, but I know all of that except you two living together. When you told me to let her know that there was a lot of heat on you, we talked about all that." I shrugged and then shook my head. "She and I will never be BFFs, but I can stand to be around her without shanking her, I think," I added, smiling.

"Well, regardless, I told her that I wasn't quite ready for that yet. We just got back together, and I don't know if we will work out or not. I have hope, though." He smirked, and I was happy that at least one of us might be able to fix their love life. "So, what are you gonna do about Edward?"

I sighed and tried to quell the urge to cry again. "I think that it's over. He's probably avoiding me because he just doesn't want to tell me so."

"I don't know him personally, so I can't give you any guidance. I just know he is the 'enemy.' Don't worry, I don't think that your dad will figure out where he lives."

"He won't. I'm not worried about that."

Jasper nodded, and we talked for a little bit more before we went to get my bags from my car. I just put them on the ground by the couch, and then we left again to go get breakfast together. We chatted on the way to the restaurant. It was easy to banish thoughts of Edward while hanging out with Jasper, and it worried me that I needed someone around to not dwell on what I had lost. Really, Jasper was all I had left. There was the hope that maybe one day Rose and I could mend our relationship, but I didn't want to make that decision right now.

Jasper and I continued to hang out the rest of the day. He told me he had plans with Alice tomorrow, but he could cancel them. Knowing that they needed to talk, I told him that was fine and I could entertain myself for a few hours. He nodded, and we tried to stay away from any subjects that would bring up too much crap.

While Jasper's house was a one bedroom, there was an office that he had done little with. He inflated an air mattress he used for camping. He gave me a few blankets and pillows. Able to make a comfy bed, I lay down to read after Jasper went to bed. Shortly before I was about to go to bed, I got a text on my phone. I didn't expect to hear from anyone. I opened my text and just stared at the screen.

Bella, where are you? - E

I scoffed and locked the screen, turning the screen off. A couple of minutes passed before I got another text message.

I'm sorry I can't—I just can't. Things are complicated. I don't know what to say. Please tell me you're okay and that Casper is treating you good - E

I rolled my eyes and just exited the message then locked my phone again. I turned the light off and lay down to go to sleep, hoping to god that dreams didn't visit me.