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"Yo, Caius. Can I meet you at the warehouse?"

Thankfully, the asshole agreed. It had been a few days since Bella left. It was for the best.

I just couldn't be in the same room as her. I couldn't look her in the eyes, not after what I did. No—I did the cowardly thing and came up with a bullshit excuse and have been making myself scarce ever since.

That was why I had to meet homeboy even though I really couldn't stand him or anything right now. I was so fucking mad. How did I let this happen?

The last few days I'd been distracting myself with work. Collecting debts that weren't even on my radar because they were so minuscule. But I needed a distraction from my thoughts, and it wasn't like I could kill anyone while things were still so hot. The Feds were so far up our asses at this point, they might as well be giving us colonoscopies while they were at it.

Caius was Marcus's little bitch boy. He handed out orders and was perfectly fine being a low man as long as he was filled in on the gossip. Caius was forty now and had been doing this shit longer than me.

I drove and drove until I reached the West Side warehouse. I pulled my whip behind the building and discreetly slipped into the building. I was constantly being reminded of how much heat there was on our operation so I couldn't be too careful.

I wasn't about to get pinched for anybody.

The warehouse reeked like death and despair. Similar to how I felt.

"Man, hey!" Caius muttered, exiting from the shadows where he was lurking. Creepy motherfucker if you asked me.

"Hey, bro!" I greeted, evenly. I couldn't let him in on my feelings toward this asshole or my personal issue that had me warring with myself.

"Not that I'm not happy to see ya, EC, but what's the reason for the call?" Caius inquired, getting straight to the point.

On the ride over, I'd given a lot of thought on how to play this. I couldn't come right out and ask about Renee. That would just throw up red flags everywhere, and I might as well get my body bag ready.

No–I had to be smart, cunning. Like the old EC. The problem was a certain brunette had me in a chokehold, and I didn't know if I was coming or going.

"You know how I'm training the new schmuck, Alistair?"

Caius nodded and gestured for me to keep talking.

"Well, he's a little gun shy if you know what I mean. I wanted to tell him about my first kill, but my memory has been shit as of late. Too much yak." I rolled my eyes and hoped he'd believe my bullshit.

Caius smirked. "You and the yak! I remember the first time I gave you that shit. Like a kid in a candy store. Remember how I trained you. The good ole days. They don't make 'em like you anymore. But yeah I remember. The woman, Renee." He nodded and took a few steps farther into the large room.

He flipped a switch and then the warehouse was illuminated. Rows and rows of guns and other weapons were at my disposal.

Caius made his way to a certain cabinet and pulled a Glock off the rack. "This is what you used. She's my favorite, to be honest. But the boss got me using a silencer as of late. These Feds are on us like white on rice, EC."

I nodded, hoping he'd keep yammering and jog my memory of more details.

"You did it down on Rockaway Beach behind the old sandwich shop. Bitch was getting back from tennis lessons or some shit. You popped her head on, in that alley. I'd never seen a newbie like you. You were ice cold and so calculated. No remorse. Like I said, the good ole days. Now I'm reduced to listening out for gossip and popping people who know I'm onto their tails."

I inhaled sharply. "Thanks, man. You know, I just wanna train this kid the best I can. It's my name on the line," I lied. I couldn't give a shit less about how Alistair fares. I didn't need a partner—this wasn't a group project.

Caius' phone started to ring and he turned, walking away to speak privately. I couldn't really make out much of what he was saying, only hearing the tail end.

"I got it," he reassured into the phone and walked back to me.

"EC, I hate to run, but I gotta take out a rat. Gotta trap him if you catch my drift." He laughed, manically.

I started for the door, nodding as I walked. "No problem. I gotta head to family dinner anyways."

"Oh yeah, I heard about your Nonna. Give her my best," he mumbled, getting into his truck. Caius headed into the busy traffic on this Sunday afternoon.

I stood there, stunned, forgetting how things don't stay private in this life. It made me worry about how open Bella and I had been throughout the last few weeks.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. If the boss knew I was screwing the rival's daughter, I would already have a bullet between my eyes.

I sat in my ride and didn't pull off right away. After thinking everything over, recapping the kill, recapping my time with Bella, I punched the steering wheel before I started the car up, driving away with my thoughts in a jumble.

This couldn't be happening. I was so mad. At myself. At the organization. At Bella's mom for cheating on her husband and causing her death. For it all.

Holy shit. For the first time in my life, I had this overwhelming feeling of guilt and regret that I couldn't shake. I killed the love of my life's mother. In cold blood.

Despite coming to Caius for a walk down memory lane, I remembered that kill vividly. It was my first time. I couldn't shake it. I just can't. It'd followed me every day since I pulled the trigger.

Renee was wearing a blue top and a white skirt. She had that ridiculous necklace on, twirling it as I taunted her for being a whore and blowing apart her life. I didn't know the particulars, only that she cheated and deserved what was coming to her.

I never asked questions. I never had to before Bella. Hell, I never wanted to. Being in the dark was easier. Clock in, do my business, and clock out.

I didn't know how to fix this. If I could. Did I want to? Of course, I did, because I loved Bella. I had no idea who she was or what I'd done to her so many years prior. It wasn't as if I could've pulled the trigger back then, knowing what I did now.

My whip was practically driving itself when I showed up at my parents' house. I was like a dead man walking as I dragged my sorry ass up the stairs to the front door.I really didn't want to have a family dinner right now. I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone, let alone those annoying motherfuckers.

Opening the door, I already heard my grandmother screaming at my mother. "Es, you try to fucking kill me again and you're not getting my jewelry when I go. I'll change my entire freaking will. Don't test me. I was here first."

I rolled my eyes. Nonna was never going to let the red pepper incident down. Oh, Nonna! I did the sign of the cross because God bless the woman although she drove me fucking insane. They all did.

I guess that was what family was for…

"Edward, you look like shit," Nonna commented, waving her cane at me and trying to get up from the recliner.

I rushed over to help her. "Take it easy, Non." I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Ma's killer cooking will still be there."

Nonna burst out into laughter, and I was thankful she didn't rat me out. Dad was snoring on the loveseat. The old man probably couldn't make it the extra foot to his chair. Remind me not to get old.

Once Nonna was secure in the chair, I went into the kitchen, looking for Ma. I heard Nonna grumbling about how she was tired and hungry.

I found Ma beating mashed potatoes for optimal creaminess. Taking a seat at the counter, I looked out the window and saw a group of little kids playing. How simple life must be for them. Just wait, you little fucks, one of you will be a trained killer.

I was lost in my thoughts of regret when Ma snapped her fingers. "Edward Anthony! I've been talking to you for the last five minutes. Are you in your own friggin' world? How's Bella? Why didn't you bring her?" Ma berated, arranging an antipasto plate. I stole a piece of muzz, hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Ow."

She swatted the back of my hand. Hard. Madonna mia.

"Edward?" Ma asked, looking at me with an expectant stare.

I exhaled the breath I didn't realize I was holding and let the floodgates open.

Ma listened to me pour my fucking heart out to her. I didn't hold anything back. If my mother could accept me being a killer, she could accept this. Well, maybe. She did have an affinity for Bella already.

Fuck, this was all weighing on my heart.

I really didn't see a way out.

After telling Ma everything, and just like a mother would, she sat there and listened. Who was I kidding? She sat there and said, "Oh shit!" and "Madonna mia" a hundred fucking times. Then she'd roll her eyes whenever I felt sorry for myself.

"What the hell am I going to do?" I asked, rubbing the stubble on my chin. I hadn't even been able to keep a clean shave since I'd been dodging my crib.

It made my stomach uneasy every fucking time I thought about this shit. "So what am I supposed to do? Go up to her and say, 'Hi Bella, you know how I love you and think you're great—well that's all true, but I killed your mom. She was my very first hit.'" I exaggerated my words and threw back my head, taking a deep breath.

"Well, I think your delivery needs work. Maybe don't say she's great. It sounds like you're giving out a consolation prize," Ma corrected. "And stop fucking cursing." She waved her dish towel at me as a warning.

"Come on, seriously! I'm so fucked. Ow!"

Ma punched my arm. God, she should join the Volturi with the strength she had.

Ma shook her head. "I've told you for years that something like this would happen." She made a tsking sound and continued to shake her head. This was what she did when she was disappointed in me.

"You told me I was gonna kill my girlfriend's ma years before meeting her?" I deadpanned, grabbing another piece of cheese for moral support. I was an emotional eater.

A crash sounded from behind me as I leaned on the kitchen counter. I turned to see what had happened and saw Emmett had dropped the salad bowl, causing it to fall and smash into hundreds of pieces.

Great! I needed another opinion like I needed a hole in my head.

"You killed Bella and Ro's ma?" Emmett gasped and started pacing as I nodded, confirming the secondhand conversation he'd overheard. As Emmett approached closer to me, he smacked me across the face. He actually landed a good one, and not one of his cheap shots he typically did when he was drunk. And unlike when he was drunk, I let him.

Ma stood there, stunned that I didn't even make Emmett flinch.

After all, I deserved that and then some. I killed someone important to the person who meant everything to me.

I should have known better than to get involved with Bella. Once I found out about her being a Cigno, I should have ended this.

Now we were basically repeating history, and one or both of us could end up dead.

While I knew Renee was a wife to someone important in a rival mob, I didn't know she was Charles' wife. A Cigno. I didn't even know she was a mother until I opened her wallet and found a photo of two young girls in it. The name I was given was Renee Dwyer, and I didn't think twice. I never thought of it again. I never questioned anything. But now I had to; I had no choice. Bella changed that for me. She made me question everything. I had to look out for myself and my own.

Fuck! The reason Renee got popped was because she was having an affair with somebody in the Volturi family. The wife of the guy found out and ordered her dead. Volturi wives trumped any other wives so the hit was placed. The irony was not lost on me. But I wasn't about to let my life turn out like some Romeo and Juliet shit. But I also didn't want to lose Bella.

I had to explain. I owed her the truth. At the very least.

I bolted from Sunday dinner early. I needed to do this while I had the balls. It took a little longer than I would have wanted to get Emmett to agree not to say shit to Rosalie about Renee.

Last thing I needed was a big mouth getting involved and telling Bella before I had the opportunity to explain. Not that there was much to explain.

Resigned with the fact that my relationship—my first real relationship—was probably over, I entered my crib and proceeded to call Bella. After the fourth time calling, she finally answered.

"What do you want, Edward?" she muttered into the phone.

I hated how sad she sounded. All I wanted was to hold her, but I realized quickly that after my news, sadness would be mild for her.

I cringed. "I'm sorry for being cryptic, but we need to talk. I have to talk to you," I mumbled, looking for Bear, who was also pissed at me. "Face to face," I added, filling Bear's food dish.

"You know what, Edward, fuck you! You don't get to tell me what to do." She shrieked on the other end of the phone. "I've waited for you to say something for days!"

I deserved her wrath. I deserved it all.

"I know. I'm sorry. I want to explain, that's all. Nothing more. Please," I pleaded, not wanting to have to drive to Casper's crib.

A moment passed and all I could hear on the other end of the phone was Bella's breathing.

"Fine," she whispered softly and hung up the line.

I jumped up and went to get changed. As I entered my bedroom, I felt a twinge in my chest. Remembering all the good times Bella and I had in bed. Good times we had together. Times we probably wouldn't get to have again. I punched the wall and heard Bear whimpering behind me.

Fuck! Great, just great. I was a fuck-up all around.

I heard the doorbell ring, and I sprinted to answer the door.

"Hey!" I greeted, as I pulled the door open and was met with—Alistair.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed, looking around the neighborhood to see if Bella was out there. Coming up short, I turned my attention to the asshole in front of me. "What?" I spat.

He looked like he had something to say. Alistair was fidgety, acting nervous and uneasy which was a far cry from his usual jovial, joking mood. Sure, I'd seen him scared, but this was different—he looked fucking terrified, on edge almost.

This sobered me up, quelling some of my anger. "What's up?" I asked, a little less tense.

Alistair pursed his lips and looked around behind him. We saw a car pass, and there was no doubt it was Bella's truck. Before I could tell him to take a hike, he blurted out, "Listen, I need to talk to you tomorrow. Just me and you. Don't talk to anybody from 'work' until then."

"What the fuck—" Who did this fanuk think he was?

"Edward!" he bellowed, and I stood there shocked at his assertiveness. Not once in the time we spent together had the fucker raised his voice to me.

I was taken aback and a little amused. Throwing my hands, I muttered, "Sure, sure, we'll do it your way, Blondie. See ya in the morning. Now get fucking lost."

As I shooed him away, I saw Bella make her way up the block. Bella climbed the stairs, not meeting my eyes once.

"Hey," I said, solemnly, motioning for her to come inside.

She walked in and stood in the entryway, wrapping her arms around herself. "So, I'm here. What did you need?" She still wouldn't look at me.

I attempted to grab her hand, but she quickly swatted me away before my fingers could even graze her. "Bella," I whispered. Fuck, this was agony.

Now I was the one who couldn't look her in the eyes. I grimaced and she noticed the small gesture, a furrow forming between her eyebrows.

"Edward, you have been avoiding me for an entire week. At any time, you could have said anything—literally anything—to let me know you just needed space or time or whatever, but you didn't. So don't expect me to come here and do things your way. This is a courtesy; I didn't have to come here."

"I know, and I'm sorry and I appreciate it. It's just–I found out something, and it changed everything." I inhaled a deep breath.

"Okay, so stop beating around the bush. What the fuck is going on?" she urged, her irritation showing clearly in her tone and how her posture shifted.

"I'm not beating around the fucking bush," I insisted, "How the fuck do you expect me to tell you I killed your mom?" I punched the wall next to her.

A gasp ripped from her lungs as shock overtook her, and tears sprang to her eyes. A bloodcurdling scream left her lips, but I couldn't react, couldn't comfort her. I only saw red as I continued to pound on the wall, my knuckles becoming bloodied as chips of plaster fell to the ground..

"I killed your mom," I repeated as I continued to expel my frustration and my demons..