"What're you doing this Friday?" Danny asked his girlfriend as she tossed her tissue in the trash.

She paused for a second, deciding how to answer his question. Should she simply say say she's busy, embarrassingly tell him the truth, or be utterly mad and sarcastic about it? Matter-of-factly, she answered, "I'm gonna be tortured."

"What?!"

She shrugged like it was no big deal and walked back to the kitchen table. "I mean, the torture part's gonna last for three days. But the whole thing is gonna last for five, maybe six days."

"Let's sky-rocket back to the torture part. What torture?"

"My period," she answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh," he simply said, not knowing how else to respond to that. He figured voicing his disgust was the wrong way to go with her.

"So the answer to date night is a big no, unfortunately. It, um... the pain gets worse at night. And-" she laughed- "you do not want to be around me when I'm in that kind of mood."

"Why not?"

"To put it bluntly, I'm a bitch with a stick up her ass."

He nodded slowly, still slightly uncomfortable with this conversation. "Well... at least you're honest about it."

"Sardonic is more like it. But sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying." She opened her text book, "shall we get started then?"

He had a weird-ass girlfriend... and he wouldn't have it any other way.

"You're not eating," Danny observed during lunchtime that Friday. His girlfriend had been... distant today, and he wasn't sure why.

"You figure that out yourself, Sherlock?"

He frowned, "no need to be testy."

Linda gave him the most evil stare he had ever seen. And she just continued staring at him until her lip quivered and she looked down at her uneaten cafeteria food.

He tilted his head- was she going to cry? He was about to ask her, when what she said Tuesday swirled in his head. He lowered his voice, like he was about to spill a secret, before asking, "is- is this your torture?"

"Yes!" Agony was present in her voice as she hid her face in her hands.

"I'm sorry." He was sorry- sorry that his girlfriend was in so much pain. "Can you take something for it?"

Linda shook her head, "no."

"Why not?"

"Nothing works!" Her voice cracked, and she furiously wiped at her eyes, trying to make the tears stay in. "And if it does work, it works for two hours, tops. And then I'm stuck with six hours of not being able to take anything, all while bleeding out and in the worse pain of my life!"

"Why don't you just take something that lasts for a shorter amount of time?"

She looked at him, disbelieving for a beat. "Thank you so much for suggesting that. Gosh, I wish I would've thought about that! I mean, I've only had this torture for five years!"

He was getting annoyed with her testiness. "Just cause you're in pain doesn't mean you can be a bitch to everyone else."

"F*** you!" She cursed him out, tears falling now. She stormed out of the lunch room and straight to the gym. She crossed the empty floor and fled to the locker room. She sat on the bench- she wouldn't dare sit on that floor- and cried her eyes out.

"Linda? Linda, are you in here?" It was his sister: Erin. "I'm sorry that Danny was an ass to you. I'll kick his ass later. Where are you?"

She came out of the stall, sniffling. "I just want to go home."

"Jennifer says this school won't let you go home unless you've puked or have a fever... do you have a fever? Have you puked?"

"No."

"Well, you do look sick. And who're they to say you didn't puke? Hm?"

"Lie to the nurse?"

"Sure. Linda, you look like you can barely stand. Go home."

"I can't. If I go home, I'll just be proving him right. I have to function, even though I'm bleeding from the inside out!" At this point, she was just refusing to "call in sick" out of spite. (And maybe to prove she could still function to everyone who thought she just curled up and cried on her period).

"I agree with you, Linda. Normally. But you look like you're just about to faint. Come on," she grabbed Linda's hand and marched her to the nurse's office. "Nurse Penny, Linda puked."

Because she had been crying, her face was flushed and her eyes were glassy. And she was swaying on her feet... and panting.

Nurse Penny didn't need any convincing. "I'll call your Mom."

"No! Uh—" Linda swallowed. She'd be in so much trouble if one of her parents were called to school from work. "No one's home. But my grandma lives three blocks down. You can call her."

After Linda gave her the number, the nurse let her lie down on the cot. Erin was given a tardy pass, and she wished Linda well before scooting off to class.

Linda was upstairs sleeping when the phone rang. Her grandmother answered it, "hello?"

"Hi. Is this Linda O'Shea's grandmother?"

"Yes. This is she. Who's this?"

"Danny. I need to talk to her. Is she there?"

"She's sleeping right now, Danny. Can I take a message?"

"Um, no, that's okay. Just tell her to call me when she feels better."

So after dinner, Nonna told Linda about Danny's call. She really didn't want to talk to him, but she didn't want to explain to Nonna why she didn't want to talk.

So she called him. "Hi, Danny," she greeted after he answered.

"Listen, Linda, I'm so sorry for being such a f*** at lunch today."

"You had a right to be," she relented. That was what she was always taught- but pretty soon she'd be fighting fire with fire.

"No, I didn't. Not to you. Im really sorry, too. I could give you all sorts of excuses, but that'd be crappy of me. Well, crappier. Can I come over and make it up to you tomorrow?"

She thought for a minute, "bring chocolate cake— or cupcakes— and rent Always."

"I can do that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Danny. I shouldn't have been such a bitch. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye."

Never again was Danny such a jerk when a lady was on her period.