52

"Did you jus'get off the phone?" Kasaya was throwing a blanket over a chair, stuffing it's edges down under the legs making it taught as Bakugo walked back into the bedroom. He'd been away for quite some time, it was already 9 at night, he must of gotten a bit carried away talking which was unlike him entirely.

"Yeh, rescheduled to the 2nd week of March. I wanted it done closer t'my 18th." Suki smirked. He couldn't wait for the freshly markered-over drawing on his back to be permanent. One session the tattooist said. One long session. He'd got the details mapped out.

"Your birthday's in April dumbass." Satoko bit back, flapping out another sheet. Suki was one of the youngest in the junior Hero Class.

Kugo spun on a socked heel and attempted to rip the thing right out of Kasaya's hands in plain, silly retaliation back at his remark. Saya, on the other hand, knew the blonde adored his foul-mouth and that's why he did it, so he crunched his own fist into the fabric in refusal to let go.

Both played a dumb game of tug-o-war with the linen, carrying on like children.

"Le'go! You're gunna rip it!" Kasaya shouted, but was 'mocking' care. It was all tease, the tone barking and bitter, with a hint of playfulness. A smirk through those smoky lips.

Suki suddenly yanked, and growled back. "You started it!" Faux accusations on purpose. A sly grin. Toying.

"WHAT?!" Satoko's long hair flailed as he tugged, he was getting reeled in. He would not lose! He wiggled off his socks off for more grip, and began animalistically ripping at it just like the other, the fibers twisting and crinkling. He locked onto his end by wrapping it around his wrist, the other the same, mimicking.

Kugo thought that those navy locks were so damn pretty whipping around. It reminded him of their only steaming night together in this bunker, the first step they took into that realm: Kasaya's mane in the dark slid around his face and shoulders while on his lap, just as it was over the sheet now.

It was so sudden of a thought that his cheeks tinted a pink and that kiddish smile (the one Kasaya swore he was the first privileged person to see) without warning rose to the surface; a kooky laugh, silly.

So unlike the Suki everyone else in Hero Class, UA, Japan, the world knew.

Kasaya on the other hand, liked that thought. He, somehow, was able to bring that side of him out, and he liked thinking that he was the maker of all Bakugo's fantasies. This absolutely masculine alpha-male gladly tumbled into 'sins' with him. At first it was tip-toeing, light kisses, some touches. Now it was walking, with caressing, vivid panting, and rapid movement below the belt.

It had felt... good. So good.

Everything was good with Suki.

But how longer would it be until they were running? Sprinting?

So little time they had now, why wait?

They didn't want to anymore.

Promiscuous was the desire, only with each other, but neither had the air to voice it out entirely.

Youthful hitches remained in their throats as knots, still getting accustomed to speaking out and hearing those types of 'words', moans, wanton in their own voices.

To say 'I want this...', it would shiver them, bring rapid blush to the cheeks, leave them breathless.

So easily, the blonde thought the same though, wondered the same. So little time there was, but Suki was whom held every ounce of Saya's curiosity, combined it with his own, and lapped up Kasaya's image as it grew sexual. It only for him. Like a thirsty wolf to water, the want consumed.

"You're lying, you started it!" A whine, then a growl from Kasaya.

"Okay... MAYBE FUCKWAD! But it's MINE!" Suki yanked backwards hard on that last word for emphasis. He hated lying. Couldn't lie for long, even to flirt (or flirting roughly rather). The sheet was 'his' though, that part was true.

"Fuckin' jerk off!" The long-haired one whirled, ripped it back in his direction.

"What's this?" Deku suddenly said from the room's doorway. He'd came to talk to them (as he wanted to know what the hell had happened earlier when Satoko stormed out and his ex-friend chased after), but what he'd found as he approached was irate shouting, and what they were fighting over was... a bed sheet?

"Hah?" Kasaya loosened suddenly, head gawking to the door, mouth agape... just as Bakugo was mid-yank. "AH!" A force took him.

Bakugo couldn't scoot out of the way fast enough! Shit! He'd tugged too hard!

Satoko plummeted into the other and the sheet went mid-air over both. Suki was just as limber as Satoko, but he missed catching himself, slipping, and they slammed into a heaping pile, chest on chest, much like the clown act at a circus.

Bakugo wheezed for a second on his back. 'Damn those cigarettes!' He coughed.

Saya was roughly strewn on-top of the fire storm. The way they tumbled down was 'off'. Kasaya's lower half easily and rapidly went into Suki's, and as eyes shot up to stare into each other's, bewildered at the development, Kasaya's palms spreading to lift himself a bit, it got heavy in a second.

A few breaths back and forth, mouths stinging for the other's.

Bakugo panicked. "Get off me you dick! You're fuckin' heavy as shit!" The blonde erupted out, pushing him up rashly by the shoulders.

Saya just smirked out a dumb chuckle. 'Yeh, right.' He knew better, but skedaddled up off him quick to elude wandering eyes (that weren't their's).

Deku froze. Oops! He didn't mean to cause this eruption to happen! "Uh, you okay?" His body tense in concern, head directed at Satoko only.

Kasaya patted himself off, the room wasn't dusty, but more so to straighten out his sloppy clothes; baggy tee and budding 'issue' underneath his sweats. Katsuki could make him like 'this' in an instant, but it wasn't bothersome to him, just new.

Feeling this way was all very, very new. Being attracted to someone truthfully, his whole body responding, heart skipping, goosebumps, trembles... was... incredible. And yes, he'd agreed, he'd said he'd stay in his shell, this shell for him, to feel these things with him.

Midoriya instantly realized the shirt was Bakugo's, Kasaya's frame inside a bit leaner. It was the black one with a white skull logo on the front from a metal band Kacchan liked. Deku felt a twist in the gut, sometimes he'd borrow clothes like that from him when they were very little.

They were friends, him and Saya, best ones. Hero Deku got it. He looked back up to Saya's softly square-jawed, clean-shaven face trying to swallow it down, knowing under that shirt were piercings. Bakugo chose a friend who was quite wild.

It was hard to swallow that Kugo was allowing someone else to use his personal things, strange when you just knew things from the past like Midoriya did about Bakugo. He blew up about everything: don't touch his stuff, that was a known motto.

"Peachy." Satoko skithed it off as merely an accident. It was an accident, but, well... "My brother will be around in'bout an'hour." Subject change, and immediately went to checking his phone to divert the attention of a certain green-haired person to something informational, and off his clothes. That was something he'd caught onto; Midoriya liked knowing details and facts, it was easy to distract him in this way.

Suddenly distracted himself by his phone buzzing in his hand, a notification of a text, Kasaya didn't look back up.

Why it was taking so long for Hisashi to get back tonight?

He didn't know.

Kugo nodded lifting himself up off the floor and shot a few plain side-stares at Izuku, usually this made the green-haired one instantly feel unwelcome and out-of-place, but this time it didn't.

It was odd.

He felt nothing, he didn't squirm or feel any type of way in the pit of his stomach. Bakugo looked like it wasn't a bother, he was 'just looking', like how a person on the street would to a person they didn't know.

"Uh..." Toga pushed her head in now too out from behind Deku, surprised he was standing in the threshold of Kasaya's room (and now Bakugo's room apparently) as she was approaching from down the hall. "Kasaya, you... texted me to... t'come?" Her cute, bubbly buns bouncing around, she nipped at her sweater's sleeve cuff.

"Yeh." He lightly smiled, chin up. He motioned for her to come in.

Himiko swallowed, golden eyes shiny, took the invite, but instantly 'ooo'ed' over the fort as she fumbled in, her anxiety of speaking with them over what happened earlier instantly tossed to the wind.

Bakugo grimaced a bit at her chid but remained untwisting the sheet, cussing about how wrinkled it was now and threw it over the 'roof' of the new construction.

It was Saya's idea to invite her over for it, but Bakugo hadn't denied. He 'kind of' could stand her, just after a few days too; new record for him.

Midoriya batted his eyes in unbelievably. He hadn't seen it until Kasaya had moved aside.

Kacchan and their ragtag group used to make forts when they were very little. His eyes trailed over watching Himiko lift a blanket and plop under it, helping herself inside, watching Katsuki blatantly start a small argument with her about how she's screwing up the process because they hadn't put enough blanket down inside yet for it to be comfy.

The two blondes again went at it a little, spitting some feverish remarks back and forth, all the while Kasaya smirked and chuckled at them, tapping away on his phone to his older brother probably.

Deku's eyes widened; the landscape familiar. He didn't budge, move a muscle.

Kacchan hadn't changed a bit in this way, grumpy and wanting things a particular way.

'Kacchan', calling him 'Kacchan', speaking of looming back to old ways! He noticed himself briskly moving backwards to calling him that again in his thoughts, in his head, had already spurted it out a few times, but it was hard to call him 'Bakugo' especially when he was still doing stuff they used to do all the time, but just with different people!

This was... just too much deja vu for him.

He remembered it like it was yesterday: One friend always took the extra blanket, the other was always the first to open a bag of chips, Midoriya always had the hero comics and Kacchan for some reason always was the one who wanted to color. He always grabbed the markers first, and claimed them all for himself (as Kacchan did with anything he wanted), he hovered over the papers as he drew on them, his head incredibly close to the page.

He became the best artist of the four very quick.

Kacchan would even hide the markers under his pillow when they slept inside of the makeshift assembly, and not let them have certain ones (a tyrant as always). He also swore he heard him uncapping them in the dead of night, probably to draw more.

A pit in his stomach... it made him feel like Bakugo had replaced them, as he'd pushed them all away to become a 'loner' in middle school. The other two friends were the first to give up; but he... just couldn't.

Kacchan was cool and powerful! Kacchan was awesome!

All young thoughts.

But eventually, as their last year of middle school ended and 'Bakugo The Brute', as he'd been tagged in their last school, had got wind that they were both set to attend UA, all he got met with was anger; Bakugo saying he was a quirkless, worthless idiot.

But as UA went on, those words lessened, became less penetrating into Deku's skin. Bakugo became a figment of why Midoriya needed to grow up, as he began to care less about what the blonde thought and more about his own path. At this point, he'd no hope they'd repair anything... but now, he'd made new friends: Iida, Ibara, Kirishima (his new workout pal), Kaminari, Uraraka and Ashido.

Iida, Ibara and Uraraka were definitely his best of the best.

Seeing Bakugo help carry Kasaya in drunk on video, them working out together, talking at the dome, living together in a dorm room (now this room) and seemingly getting along... now the thinner one wearing Bakugo's shirt? Surely, it was true, Bakugo had moved on. The blonde had gotten a new friend and was somehow manageable with him.

But how he was dealing with Toga was not as expected. The way they argued was like they were 'poking jests' at each other through the yells, and they'd just met!

Deku grimaced. Katsuki just... didn't want to have anything to do with his old life anymore, for whatever reason.

And, he didn't want to have anything to do with him.

Midoriya had known that ugly truth.

But seeing this? Feeling it? Or the absence of 'feeling' in Bakugo's glances?

One little hope he had was how he'd spoke to him when he'd come to the bunker that night and locked himself in Kasaya's room. That one 'I'm sorry' raised his eyebrows, widened his eyes. Midoriya felt a skipped beat in his chest! It re-humanized Bakugo a little in his mind. But, now viewing this display, it was a dead-ringer, a cold lump formed in his throat, apparent it was now, right in his face.

His heart was chilled, but slightly warm.

Melancholy.

Before, when Kacchan got angry, for years, at least there was emotion still there. Now, it was nothing. Truly, the opposite of 'response' is indifference. Hero Deku felt an odd mix of thought that made him silently turn on his heel and begin to walk away.

Happiness for Bakugo, as he wished nothing but that for him, to find people he could stand, just as always. Sadness for the realization that he wasn't part of it, he was just a shadow to him, a nothing, not even one good enough, decent enough, significant enough to acknowledge.

The thought that this means saying goodbye to this piece of the past for good?

This time, it was a goodbye... forever.

No more time.

It had run out, and he had a duty to fulfill.

"Deku."

Izuku stopped. A sudden breath in the quiet hall, his toes crunched in tennis shoes.

Now his mind was throwing him curve-balls?

Never again would he hear that name in 'that' way again, said in that tone; the tone of the youthfulness they'd had. Hadn't heard that for years; over time that tone changed to be harsh, rash, and much different. The 'Kacchan' he knew used to speak that word in pure and absolute frustration, it being screamed at him, spoken pissy at his very presence.

Now, the 'Bakugo Katsuki, Hero Apollo' didn't even appear to know he existed, and the blunt truth was that it would have mattered to him a few months ago still, but it just didn't anymore. Katsuki just began disappearing more and more over time, and was fading somewhere in the background, becoming a random person in a crowd to him.

He was over it.

It was over.

"Izuku."

The teen felt a spasm of shock.

One name to another, the second, less of a closeness.

A formal address.

To confirm, he dared one eye to peep over a shoulder. Confirming, he felt aghast. "Bakugo." A lifeless mumble, not willing to call him anything else other than family name. His words didn't match his body's internal response.

What was he doing following?

Abnormal.

So it had been him, saying his hero name that way, his childhood make-fun name that 'way'. In that old tone.

"No Kacchan?" Bakugo's face was flat.

Here it was, that same flattened look as a few minute's ago in the room, and when he'd answered the bunker door in the dead of night. Midoriya wasn't sure if he was toying with him, or what. That face he couldn't read, but his voice was stable, not elevated, crimson eyes were shiny in the darkness.

But, it didn't matter.

It wasn't enough to stir him up, not anymore. He swallowed the shock, to attempt to stabilize. Dry and curt he puffed. "No." Midoriya wasn't here to be messed with, he turned again, his back to him. "You've no right to ask that." He mumbled out, walking away again down the dark hall. He didn't want to look at him. Surely, that'd start an argument, but he'd evade, in no mood for it. Or maybe it wouldn't with this new 'avoidance' attitude Bakugo was taking on.

"Stop."

Midoriya contemplated whether he should. He listened to his gut, didn't, and kept going. There was nothing to talk about.

Bakugo sighed, letting air escape his nose; how annoying when others didn't obey him, but honestly he was used to it with people by now, didn't make it less bothersome though. When he made a decision, he was going to do it.

He'd force words into Deku if he had to.

Kasaya's grey orbs questioned, piercing into reds as Bakugo had given up on making Himiko move, and stood to walk out. He'd paused at the threshold and looked in, hand around the thick bamboo slat at the entry, as Toga banged her legs up and down inside the fort like a kid, not paying attention, slightly squeaky.

Their faces began speaking to each other:

Saya furrowed his eyebrows; 'What're you doin'?'.

Suki blinked a few times quick, apprehensive, eyes moving across Saya's face; 'What I should'.

The shale grays softened, a crinch in the corner of the mouth; 'You sure?'.

Suki felt heat come to his pools; 'No'.

The younger Satoko's face fell flat, but had absolute life in his two oceans seeing; 'I understand.'

Bakugo wiped his nose off on his shoulder, a sniff; 'Have to though.'

Kasaya's chin began to quiver, and his mouth formed a pout; 'I know.'

Suki moved into the hall, only one eye still on Kasaya, wishing to kiss that shaking lip.

A blink of red, now maroon in the dark.

A small, soundless whisper: "It's okay".

It wasn't.

He wasn't.

And Saya knew.

Divulging. Speaking truth. Apology.

That's what Satoko had invited Himiko over for. Deku showing up was just a coincidence.

Bakugo thought if Kasaya could, he could, possibly, not that it wasn't going to be hard.

But, Saya's strength gave him unimaginable strength.

For Kasaya hadn't pouted for his own exodus and revelation in that moment, he'd pouted for his lover's. And Saya's pout spoke fathoms to Bakugo, that Kasaya knew what was to come just as he in these admittances: The horrors of the past revealed, and the reactions of others to it.

Bakugo was choosing to become bare, to unskin himself, so that Kasaya could bear to do the same. Both shedding of the outer layers as snakes. A choice to be raw and exposed, not just to themselves.

To others now too.

Vulnerable.

To become phoenix reborn.

One decision influencing the other's, both pushing forward to become what was needed of them. Their futures as real heroes, as people, the world, it all depended on them and rested on their shoulders. It also rested on Hisashi's, Pigtail's, Orange Idiot's, Deku's and BedBug's.

And Apollo would not be running at Disaster's and Deku's heels.

He would be aside them.

And, if the rest didn't know now, they'd know eventually. It'd squeeze out. Their pasts would come to the surface with these investigations, and even though Bakugo really felt he'd been backed into a corner, he had to come clean. It was a corner that he couldn't get out of unless he only spoke the truth, and he'd speak the truth, a value he tried to uphold with himself always.

Except in the beginning with Kasaya, when he wasn't understanding what his body, mind and soul was telling him.

And, he had a soul damn it!

One that was worthwhile.

Kasaya made him believe.

It was better glowing than as a shriveling candle, just as his father's favorite song said about love. So then, they should speak truth, let go of the rope that held the anchor, for them to both speak it, say it to the others.

He wanted to soar, just as Saya.

Like an uncaged bird, he'd fly.

Himiko had done it, revealed her past, as embarrassing as it was, as horrible to admit as it was, as wicked as it was.

Kasaya and Bakugo had both been just as wicked in their own ways.

Cruel and selfish.

Suki shivered. Slow. He wanted to start slow. He breathed in and out, trying to remember and concentrate on All Might's teachings to simmer his mind down, smooth his leftover mental rage. A symptom of his addiction, now lessened, but his guts were telling him to throw up. "Deku... please." He paced after, a sniffing mumble, each step making his head race. He could feel the cold tile under his feet, colder than it'd ever been.

Now that made Midoriya halt. A please? "Stop saying it like that." He got a little bent. It was too gentle a tone for the current person Bakugo was. It made his skin crawl and his stomach loop, he turned just enough to a poke one empty-looking green eye at him. "Jus'stop." The same line that Bakugo tended to spit, except less aggressive.

'JUS'STOP!' He'd heard him yell thousands of times in middle school, and recently in lue of stuff dealing with Kasaya.

Emotion that Bakugo just didn't have or show towards him anymore.

"Can... we go back?" Bakugo mouthed. Kasaya. He needed him by his side at this time. Squeezed his eyes shut, mentally bit. 'NO! I... I can...' He could do this on his own! He could, he could. A breath. Kasaya deserved someone strong. He needed him strong. He tried to swallow down the urge to push Midoriya to the ground and tell him to go fuck off. A huff. He felt his chest expanding, air sucking in deep inside his nose. A buzz of nervousness, an anxiety spinning in his head.

"We?" The other turned on heel fully. Instead of comfort and care which was the normal Deku style, a strained vocal met the blonde's ears. "Quit... soundin' like the old you." He got brave. He bit it off, and spit it back.

"I'm..." Suki squeezed his lids tighter, starting to quiver in a fit of frustration. Uncomfortable. He wanted to scream! "More me... now than..." Fingertips trembled. "I was then." Whisper, a squeak instead. His head began lowering. Lowering. He just, he couldn't, couldn't look at him?

"Hn." Deku mouthed. He seen Bakugo shaking, clearly a moment of rage was to take over. He raised an eyebrow and put his hands in his shorts pockets. Obviously. "You're the same." Clearly he was going to watch the other go on a yelling fit here in just a few, or just turn in indifference and walk away. He was readying himself for either.

"NO!" A harsh pop, fists cliched, eyes squeezed shut hard. A quick snappy word towards the floor, as his head was now down, chin on his chest. Sniff.

Midoriya surprised, raised an eyebrow. 'No?' What'd he mean, no? Then he heard.

Once the echo was gone of Katsuki's sharp quip, his sudden shout, a soft, delicate pad of wet, like a feather landing on frost.

One circular shape announced itself in the abrupt silence.

A tear on tile.

Midoriya watched, his jaw unhinging, confused.

"Can't." Katsuki felt his knees buckle, quiver. Thoughts racing back to him of 'those times'.

The times when he was feeling so good, laughing at the tops of his lungs in his room. The times he'd harshly bled out of his nose on the rug, heart racing, feeling sexual, but then gotten sick like a flu. The times he hid it and lied. When he was so far 'gone' that he could do nothing but lay there like in a straight jacket, bound by the stuff, foamy in the mouth a bit.

He'd become a 'waste', not a budding hero by far.

Bakugo felt his face twinge remembering. Cheeks burning. Lungs on fire. Air barely there.

Something unexpected, but unavoidable: His body fell.

Collapsed.

Right in front of Izuku: A figment of childhood past, a figment of the 'why' behind the screams.

He fell towards those red sneakers, head to the floor like a soldier shot in war. A fight with his body. First to his knees, then plummeting chest first, looking white in the face, his hands didn't really 'catch'.

Midoriya jolted, jumping backwards as his head banged.

A blonde cranium turned it to the side and a body put up a forearm underneath to attempt to brace itself up, but weakly fell back down. A left cheek landed back straight on the floor.

Deja vu ruled Bakugo's mind now: He was back, back there, back helpless again, under-the-influence, just like he'd been before. Starting to shake, panic, he began to choke and cry. Head going places it shouldn't, freaking out.

Breath. Breath. 'No.' Lift. 'No!' Choke. 'HELP!' Dear God... God. 'Help.' Another choke. Sob. 'Pl...' Cry. 'Or... I'll die.'

Izuku on instinct skidded on knees over. Was his ill!? He blurted loud. "Jus'calm down!" Breathe. Breathe damn it! He wouldn't touch him though! Didn't want to get hit!

Kugo took in a breath finally, and began to choke, fighting with himself, hiding his messed up expression. Laying face-first, completely and utterly ripping apart, he no longer could think, he no longer could rationalize.

The pain was coming to the surface.

The frustration.

The nervousness.

The past.

Bakugo was scared.

Since he's been healing, things around him made him actually 'afraid' now.

He hated it, but he also enveloped it.

When he saw Kasaya as he was fighting Disaster in the Merge, in his head, that mad him scared.

Now, he was just as afraid.

More than he was with telling Aiwaza even.

It was because... this...

This was...

Deku.

Instantly he ran his fingers into his now shorter blonde tresses and shrieked in absolute horror, a sound that Midoriya had never heard Kacchan make in his entire life. Tears filtered over the tiles, and Bakugo right before him at his knees looked defeated, broken, and whipped.

Midoriya felt a rash swirl of anger in his gut. It shouldn't be like this! He shouldn't be like this! Nothing makes him like this! NOTHING! WHY? It blurted out: "KACCHAN!"

A quick mournful cry. Bakugo had heard 'that' name, and instead of speaking, liquid came out of his mouth, like he was going to spew his guts out. The taste sick. Tears wrecked his beautifully pale complexion. He could, he could almost... die, but he wouldn't allow himself to 'off' himself, to do 'that'.

He had to live in this mess.

This was his mess.

Kasaya lived in his, so he must live as well.

Midoriya had a few thoughts on reaching down, maybe, palms extended, when instead, Bakugo reached out on his own and grabbed the shorter teen's athletic shorts, his whole body spasming and crying into the fabric, to let his head rest painfully in the shorter teen's lap.

Hero Deku felt the weakness in his grip. "Wh...?" What? Why? Who? Where? He didn't know!

"De... Mi... PLEASE!" A scream into shorts.

Izuku watched his head rock back and forth like a little boy, hiding his whole face.

"Don'leave!" A muffled shout, an arm lazily wrapped around Midoriya's waist to hold him in place desperately.

Deku's cheeks went hot. His head was in shock, anxious, worried. Don't leave? Lungs began to start hyper-ventilating at this display, at that statement! But... he'd latched onto him first... right?

Tensely, nervously, Deku put a few fingers down across a wide back that was convulsing. Lungs unable to keep air. "Ka... Kacchan... Calm down." He just let that name fly now, it somehow didn't matter in this moment, but he just repeated what he said earlier. He didn't know what else to say!

"I... I..." His lips were sore, his nose on fire. "I MISS... MISS YOU DEKUUU!" He screamed out suddenly, quivering mouth, throat like adolescence. It came out of nowhere, inside a fit of painful groans and tears.

It was so surprising of a pop that it froze him. Pure, utter admittance, and it made Midoriya speechless.

"I'm... DAMN IT! I'M..." He wailed. "I'm..." He balled his fists tighter in the shorts, wrapped his arm tighter around his waist, knees crunching up. "I was..." Here it comes. He began crying more. "I needed help..." He whispered. "I NEEDED HELPPPP!" He shrieked.

Both palms went down Bakugo's back. "Wh... ?"

"But! I tho... THOUGHT... thought... I was... I..." He bawled. "I WASN'T OKAY! I... wasn't..." He hushed, he tightened, loosened, head shook furiously. "I wasn't okay..." He attempted to pull himself upwards, but collapsed.

His head was now turned, and Deku could really see the mess that laid across him.

The once proud, arrogant hellion was rashly ripped from his throne.

And what was left?

A shattered mirror.

Deku was getting his first glimpse through the cracks, to another side he never knew.

Bakugo didn't fight Midoriya as his shorter, ex-childhood friend squeezed him up, his chin on shoulder. Whispers. "I didn't kn... know until... I was o... older." Into the green-haired one's ear.

Midoriya could feel the breathy heat, the wetness; could hear the struggling tears of a fallen warrior, the succumbed body like putty in his hold on him. "What is it?"

A choke. A word.

He leaned closer. That's when Izuku heard it clearly.

Barely a breath. "Ad... addicted."

"Kach... ?" Jaw fell. Swirls in eyes. Wet. Fingertips quivering. What?

"I... I was..." Cracking. His lips on the edge of his ear. "given..."

Deku held him close.

"Mom...'ma. Wa'seein'... some... someone else..." Choke. "He... He... I wa'... she gave me TO HIM!"

"WHAT?!" Deku spit, squeezed! He had no idea!

Bakugo cried at that response! Of course Deku didn't know! OF COURSE! He never told him! It was his fault! He felt Midoriya rock him bit. "Somethin' hap'... happened... didn't know..." Sputters.

"What! What happened?!" Deku grabbed his jaw and forced that face to face him.

Crimson eyes closed in shame, unable to view him.

"Y'... y'know... I... I used t'draw... a.. alot?" Bakugo's bottom lip trembled. Midoriya was the sole thing keeping his head upright.

Deku recalled that he'd just been thinking about that! In absolute shock he watched rivers flood out from under long blonde lashes, out from slits where he knew pools of red laid, probably dancing in emotion, the emotion he craved to see. "Yea." He quieted. He took in a large breath. He needed to calm himself down. Kacchan needed to feel comfortable, in order to do so he needed to calm down for him.

"I used to... take'em. All o'em. All 'cuz..." Why did this hurt so much worse than when he's told Aiwaza? Because... Because it was Deku. "I'd huff 'em."

Soundless. Body tensed. Midoriya's mind that never halted... did. Stiff.

"Gran'ma w... would smack me." Bakugo mumbled brokenly. "Didn't kno..."

"You didn't know... it... wa'... was... was bad?" Izuku was surprised words even came out of him.

He shook his head a little in a 'no'. "She'never sa... said... why."

Grandma Aiko didn't say anything to him?! What?

"All I kn'knew... was'was... I liked... I liked it." It shook him to admit that, his spine convulsed in waves of shiver. "Til mid... middle school, then I..." He swallowed some air, on the cusp of a break down. "I s... st... start..." He went silent, lips moving in a disturbed, sick manner, mouth swollen.

Midoriya latched as tight he could, which wasn't much, he'd lost a power to grip. He started to go limp, and Bakugo Katsuki the same. Midoriya's head spun, dizzy.

"I..." Heavy eyes under lids rapidly shook. "started... buyin'."

IT ALL MADE SENSE NOW. Midoriya fell to the floor, completely over, and so, Kugo followed, loose neck and arms flailing downwards with the other.

Deku had so many small instances, flashes of the past in his head. That was why... this... THIS WAS WHY? THIS WAS WHY!

"WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU BUY?!" Midoriya suddenly shouted, shrieked out, laying aside him on the floor, pounding a fist into the tile. A strong sense of 'fatherly-ness' taking him over.

Bakugo rolled away from him on his side, his back to him, face in both hands, knowing Midoriya was hurting, and screamed out a slew of terrible tears.

It wouldn't of hurt him in the past, or even recently to see Deku this way!

But it was the fact that... he'd caused this!

And, he'd caused these emotions in Deku before, but it was because he was bold-face lying to him, pushing him back, cussing at him, all thought of as the 'right thing' to do.

Now, it... it wasn't the right thing anymore.

He wasn't that liar anymore.

He was not that person anymore.

It stung him so hard when Deku said he was 'the same'.

He was not the same damn it!

HE WAS NOT!

He rocked on the floor alone.

"X..." Whisper. "X-On."

"From that..." He gripped the back of Bakugo's shirt and tugged hard, semi-pushing. "From that guy!" Midoriya had spied a man looming at the middle school, was told to stay away from others, swore he'd seen Kacchan talking with him once. He was getting angry, furious. He shook Bakugo back and forth, wiped the floor with him. "I FUCKIN' KNEW IT!" Foul words came out, unhashed. He knee'ed Bakugo in the back, rash palms on both shoulders, Suki's head knocked back, tears flailed, a ragdoll. "I KNEW IT! YOU! I KNEW THAT FUCKIN' GUY WAS... WAS BAD NEWS!" Suki started mumbling as Deku shook him to death trying to get him to roll over and look at him. "YOU! WHY!? WHY DID YOU DO IT KACCHAN?!" He screamed at him. "YOU! KACCHAN! LISTEN TO ME! ANSWER MEEE!" He screamed, and shook, and shook, and shook him.

Bakugo let the shaking happen. No strength. "Deku..." A moan. Red eyes cracked open, head was snapping around on an unsupportive neck.

Midoriya stopped whipping him around. He realized he must be hurting him, and he just yanked his own arms back and laid there aside the blonde, curled in a fetal position like the other face to Bakugo's back, watching it stiffen, loosen, jerk as the head mourned.

Horrible, Bakugo disheveled, barely made sound. "I found out." A whisper. "He... he... fucked me up."

"THAT GUY!?" Midoriya shouted. Snapped his mouth closed, rapid air in and out of his nose like a lion.

"Yeh... b'... but... ma's... too."

"The boyfriend?" Deku was beyond keeping his mouth closed. He had no connection to Bakugo's parents, they both died, so it didn't serve any purpose for him to hate his mother, but he was beginning to, and Bakugo's grandmother too. What the hell were they thinking?!

"I w'... was only 5."

"5?" He blinked. That was about the time his quirk showed up, was getting gritty. But it was about 8 when he started pushing him away completely.

Midoriya pulled the bottom of his own shirt up to wipe his own face. His cheeks were stinging, he reached. Haphazardly threw an arm over the bigger teen's side.

No retaliation. Wine eyes blinked like a sloth. "He forced it on me."

The wipes slowed on Midoriya's end. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Large eyes.

"F... forced coke on me."

"Co..." Words were hard to grip. "Cocaine?"

A nod.

Empathy kicked in, easily reading between the lines.

Tears began to swivel out of forest greens, and Hero Deku began to choke up himself, and scooted himself fast, his chest right into Bakugo's back, right cheek to the middle of his spine, hugging the man.

It was an unknown 'addiction'.

So, that was why Kacchan was in the hospital for a month when they were little!

So, that was why he would keep the markers!

Then when he heard somehow this guy sold this 'stuff', it latched him in instantly, because Baku didn't know he had an addiction!

It was why he was ill with 'the flu' for two weeks in 8th grade!

That was why he began separating himself from everyone even more so in middle school!

That was why his eyes always looked so sunken, skin pale!

"Then... w'... when... I began to g'get that... that it w'was bad, th'the good feelin'... I started t't turn away. It's wh... why... I... screamed..." Weary. "at... at you, at everyone."

Midoriya knew it! There it was... that was it! He'd always wondered!

So, that was what happened when he was 8!

He'd had a realization!

An internal 'ping' had went off, and he reacted by beginning to distance himself, and began getting more mean.

"B'but I was selfish... an', an' still did it." He chose the same words as Himiko. 'Selfish'. Yes, he had been.

Midoriya blew air of his nose again, and breathed in deep hugging. Of course, of course he was selfish... it was Bakugo after all. Bakugo was selfish. It must of made him feel good, he liked it, and selfishly didn't want to stop and secretly didn't care what anyone thought. Again, just as Bakugo would.

"Gran'mas sick, so I g'got... att'attorney over her now." He spittered on.

Midoriya had heard that through the grapevine, his mom was kind of catty and got that from another woman that knew his grandma's caretaker.

All mumbles. "Jus' found out las' last year, it w'was... it was... coke that got me stuck." He brought a hand into his hair, heart pounding. "Ha... had me wound... around it's... it's finger." He crunched up more into a ball.

So, he seen the hospital records! Midoriya put two and two together.

Holy shit this was bad.

Bad. Bad. Bad.

This made sense, it must of been what Bakugo was seeing Toshinori for. Another two and two put together. He suspected something was going on between them when Kasaya froze him in the Dean's lounge. When All Might went on and spouting a few things, Bakugo looked tense and ferocious, and growled right out of there!

It all lined up.

Midoriya spoke now. "You kept me from it, that was why you pushed me..." A swallow.

"Something in it, th... the X-ON, it messed... messed my head up too. Made me abnormal... th'... the rage." Talking was getting a bit easier.

Midoriya remembered all too well. All the way up to just this past autumn when he almost broke his arm in a training dome. That rage was hellish, as if Satan's lair would rise itself at Katsuki's horn call.

"I thought if I, pushed... pushed you off'a me, then I'd save you..." He swallowed. "From... from me."

Deku frowned, got a little bent again. "You don't have any right! Goin' on! An', and deciding my path like that for me!"

"What?" The blonde suddenly pulled back. "What?!" A huff, tears. "I! I did it FOR YOU!" He wobbled to face him and weakly grabbed the collar of Deku's shirt and forced him into his crying face. "DON'T YOU DARE DEKU!" It wasn't ferocious and snapping, only loud and snagging. "YOU WOULD HAVE FALLEN WITH ME! YOU WOULD OF DONE IT TOO! You were..." He started to whimper. "You... you... jus'... it's who you are DEKU! It's who you are!" He sobbed.

It made Midoriya tear now. He felt a strong pull of connection. His heart in his face and throat.

"You follow af'after me EVERYWHERE... EVERYWHERE I GOOOO!" He put a quick few fingers to his chest. "Even screamin' at... at you! Didn't stop you, you... you... you FUCKIN' IDIOT!" Bakugo's forehead just fell into Midoriya's shoulder. "You... you jus'... you had to..."

Quiet.

A swallow.

"To lo... love me."

Deku gasped. This whole time Deku contained all but extreme anger and frustration, but now...

He felt it.

His forest greens swept with hot liquid as Bakugo squeezed him so tight he could not breath. To the ceiling Hero Deku's face went and tears came out of his out eyes falling down over his freckled cheeks. "I've always! I've always loved you!"

Bakugo wheezed. "I know DEKU! I KNOWWWW!"

"I! I WOULD GO HOME AN' CRY!" Deku suddenly whimpered, yelling out under Katsuki's tight grip. "I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND!"

"I know! I KNOW!"

"WE WERE BEST FRIENDS KACCHAN! WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER!" He took in air. "Then... su... suddenly... we didn't... anymore." He started falling apart. His green eyes flecked with so much pain. "I miss you too Kacchan! I miss you so much! B'... but... but you... you HURT ME! YOU HURT ME SO MUCH!"

His screams to the ceiling were so truthful and raw that it seared Bakugo's ears like a hot knife.

It hurt. Like hell.

"I'm sorry! I'M SORRY DEKU!" Bakugo wailed. "Please... I did it, because of you..."

"I'm... I'm gl... glad Kacchan."

"W... W... Wh?" Bakugo held him out, red eyes bloodshot.

A sudden turn of emotion.

Both shook head to toe.

"I w... would... would have." Deku looked down. "I would of done it." He cried, his face fell to his palms, salty liquid through the cracks. Kacchan knew him too well, so well it shook him. "Y... you forseen... you knew."

Bakugo nodded.

It was a sunny day and 7 year old Bakugo marched along on a log.

"I'm leader of th'pack! Don't forget it ya losers! Meh!" He stuck out a tongue, hands on hips.

The other boy's chuckled. "Yea, yea Kacchan..."

No sound from the smallest.

"Deku?" The little blonde boy turned, bewildered, a bit nervous. He wouldn't let the other two notice, but inner tension broke when he spied him poking a frog with a stick. "DEKUUU!" He hollered from down the little stream in the woods. "GET OVA HERE YA... YA QUIRKLESS TURD!"

A green head popped up. "COMING KACCHAN!"

He put his hands over his mouth and hollered. "I'M THE HEAD WOLF! DID YOU FORGET?!"

"NEVER KACCHAN!" With stick in hand, he turned on heel and ran at full speed towards the group.

Bakugo hid a smirk.

Deku never strayed after.

Midoriya once followed him willingly, and deep down Bakugo wanted that.

But then, once he knew what 'addiction' was, he didn't want that, didn't want him following him at all, but Midoriya still did.

And so, yes.

Yes.

Deku would have done X-ON.

He would have, would of followed right in Kacchan's shoes.

Just as Kugo was trying to save Deku from his addicted self, Kugo also saved Deku from his own personality: A addictive one, just like Bakugo's.

As Deku was addicted to Kacchan, to his quirk, his temperance, his nature, just him in general.

His best friend.

"You saved me... you... you... really are a hero... Kacchan."

Bakugo's eyes opened extremely wide.

So many people out there in the world, at UA even, deemed him to be better suited to villainy, but this guy... he'd never lost hope?

Even if they weren't getting along, Midoriya still wished him to be great!

The best!

Trusted in him that he'd make something of himself!

And... he, he would.

He would!

That was all he had to say for Bakugo to know: An understanding between them was established.

Bakugo really had changed, Deku knew he had been wrong. "It's because of Kasaya... isn't it?" He muttered out. "That you... you're like this... better?"

"Yeh."

Deku nodded. He owed Kasaya more than he'd ever know.

Satoko Kasaya had brought Bakugo Katsuki back to the light.

"I don't want you t'... t'follow me anymore Deku." He chuckled. "I want you to walk with us."

A huge swell of warmth spread across his heart watching Midoriya smile. It was terribly crooked, imperfect, but it was still a smile...

And it was signature of only one person.

And for the first time in almost 9 years...

Kacchan did the same back to him.

Bakugo smiled that kiddish smile at Midoriya.

And they began to laugh.

Midoriya could say that his number one in life was to save the world.

He could say that it was to become a hero himself as the new bearer of One For All.

But neither were true.

For Hero Deku was also a bit selfish.

And his number one had just become fulfilled: To be good enough to stand aside Kacchan.

Finally, the person he chased after at the heels, stopped, turned, and held out his hand.

And Midoriya, as he'd always wanted...

Took it.