Chapter Five:

Anger and Suffering

"Are you even listening.." An exasperated Aleksander sighed, leaning against his desk, looking elegant and handsome as ever, book in hand.

As Alina just scowled at him, her head pounding, as she rubbed her temples. How did this man actually thinking that she would be able to focus? Especially, when she felt like drums were playing in her head and embarrassment plagued her.

"Why can't we just learn later? My head's killing me.." She whined, grinding her fingers into her forehead, not meeting his all-consuming gaze.

She also, wanted nothing more, but to forget the events of earlier today. She was just thankful that she did not awake naked beside him. She guessed, that she was just glad he didn't take advantage of her really. Although, she didn't know how sex worked, she at the very least knew you had to be naked for it.

"You should take this as a lesson on why you should sip alcohol. Slowly.." He chuckled, only making her wince at the noise. She rolled her eyes, causing another sharp pain to shoot around her head as she groaned just wanting the torture to end.

"Thanks, very helpful." She mumbled sarcastically. The first lesson was when I woke up to his face inches from mine with our hands all over each other. Lesson learned, thank you very much. She thought, a blush raising very lightly from her neck.

"We have a month, Alina." He signed, slamming the book shut and tossing it on top of the small tower of research beside him. "We need to keep working."

Alina groaned, falling slump into the seat she rested on. "You're a slave driver." She whined feeling her body begging for her to just lay back in bed and sleep for years. "How is any of this joyful?" She mumbled under her breath, curling herself into a ball on the seat, slipping her eyes closed.

"We don't even know for sure, it's only joy, that is your beckoning emotion. You can have a few secondary emotions, but only one primary. If you were listening to want I was reading you'd know that." He grew more annoyed as he continued. "Joy could not be strong enough, like a secondary emotion..." He spoke as he stocked over to her in long strides, grabbing her face, pressing her cheeks together. Digging his fingers into her skin, as she startled now fully awake.

"Fear, could be your primary." He growled, as her eyes grew wider, remembering just how terrifying the Darkling could be. She had momentary forgotten that his gentle hands could turn to tools of pain, so quickly.

She watched him carefully as he just stared menacingly, the silence being filled by the words she couldn't say. That, she still didn't trust, he could kill her if he so desired. That, he did still scare her…

"Are you prepared to get back to work now?" He asked gripping her face harsher, her teeth grinding against her cheeks painfully. "You promised to try, remember?" He drew out the words, trying to make her understand her position, only serving to making her more nervous.

She nodded slowly, as he searched her face, gradually retreating his hand from her face. She kept her gaze on him intently as he took a step back, leaning back against his desk, sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose, looking stressed. She rubbed at her cheeks with a small pout on her lips. She felt like he was only trying to scare her in that moment, to see if she'd 'glow.' But, the thought didn't comfort her all that much.

"Enough reading, we need to explore the beckoning emotions. They are usually your base feelings." He inhaled, calming himself. "Fear, anger, suffering, joy.." He pulled his hand from his face, and lingering on her, looking her up and down leisurely. "Pleasure." He added a soft smirk tugging at his lips, making Alina squirm in her seat, blushing. She really hoped that one was not her emotion..

"Any one of these could be it. We just need to go down the list." He cleared his throat and leaned his hands on the desk behind him, looking vaguely in a better mood.

She frowned, feeling more timid at the vivid reminder that she had to be careful of the dangerous man before her. His emotions could change so rapidly, and he was as harsh as he could be charming. She straightened up, trying to engage with him as much as possible, to keep him in his lighter mood.

"Well, It's not fear. Or else, I would have lit up, when you first met me." She addressed warily.

"Yes. You have a point." He stated back to his usual stoic, almost playful, self. "Then, we'll move on to anger. Can you think of anything that makes you angry?"

"Not at the moment.." She mumbled looking away, not wanting to state the obvious, being him.

"How is it that you know absolutely nothing of yourself?" He scoffed with a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest. "Have you spent the last 17 years of your life in a hole?"

She gave a short snicker in response. He was joking, but he wasn't entirely wrong. She would like to think the orphanage was a hole in the earth where unwanted children were thrown, but at the same time, she wasn't ignorant to the world either.. "Kind of, but you also always put me on the spot."

"Well get to thinking, we don't have all night." He raised an eyebrow with a cheeky grin, snapping his fingers, trying to rush her thinking process, clearly in a more playful mood than the hungover younger girl.

"Sheesh, okay. Maybe, being controlled.. Looked down on. I don't know." She shook her head feeling annoyed at his impatient attitude, rubbing her head, the ache returning full force.

He instantly grabbed her chain and yanked her from the chair, causing her to stumble to the floor. She gasped loudly. More in shock, then pain from the fall, before she was manhandled, flush against his chest.

"Like this?" He chuckled lowly with a raised eyebrow, gripping her hair, so that her head was arched painfully up at him, while he leaned lazily against the desk, as if moving her was no effort at all.

She hissed out, the uncomfortable craning of her neck making it slightly harder to breath. He's such an ass.. She reflected inwardly as he just looked as unaffected as ever, with a mischievous glint in his black eyes, beautiful eyes.

She couldn't help the flush that grew across her cheeks, feeling his body pressed hard against hers. His thigh settled between her legs lifting like a seat, and breasts flattened to his strong pecs. She tried to ignore the friction his leg created against her, causing that same odd tension in her belly to form. She parted her lips, trying harder to steady her breaths, as his gaze landed on her lips. He drew his other hand up to deliberately drag his thumb over her bottom lip. His smirk fading into a small, almost proud smile at the expression that was likely displayed on her face.

Then it hit her. She knew what he was doing! He was trying to make her angry, of course. She gave him a crooked smile, feeling somewhat more confident now that she figured him out. I wonder how long he's been trying to test me like this? If he thought I was like him, does that explain his odd behavior this whole time?

"Cat got your tongue, Solntse." He punctuated his words, by tugging her hair firmer into his fist, that he held by the roots. As he trailed his thumb from her lips, down her neck, resting it on the center of her collarbone, making her shiver. He smirked, lifting his knee higher, bring her even further off the ground.

"I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work." Alina gritted out, as her hands gripped his shoulders trying to balance herself on tip toes, around his leg. Each shift, rubbing his thigh deeper into a very sensitive area, only making her squirm more. The pressure building even more than before. An awkward giggle falling from her lips, despite how uncomfortable she felt.

"We'll see about that." The darkly handsome man stated, jerking his hand, dragging her head along with it to the bed and throwing her down. Pinning her wrists to the mattress, urging his hips deep between her legs, his leather pants leaving little distance between them. She could feel his heat directly against her most private area, despite her bloomers and his pants separating them.

"Try to break free." He whispered, practically laying on top of her, his lips against her cheek, brushing them along her jaw to her ear. He rubbed his bearded cheek against hers, breathing her in. She reddened like a tomato, feeling over stimulated and dizzy at the sensations that his touches were causing. She felt tingling in places that she had never tingled before..

"This is ridiculous." She blustered, softly tugging her arms against his large hands, pulling her face away. Only enough that they were facing each other, inches apart. She felt more awkward than anything else, she knew he wouldn't try and kill her, concentering he wanted to know if she was like him first. Yet, the closeness still unnerved her.

"Of course, you'd think that. You're just a naive child." He smirked, as he leaned down, pressing his chin against her own, looking down at her like a starved wolf about to have a meal. His eyes burning holes through her, breathing in her air, like he was trying stealing it.

"I'm not a child." Alina mumbled, lips pursed as she tried to hide the flame that started to grow under her skin, remaining as still as possible, painfully aware of his hips, as he moved against her ever so faintly. "I-I'm not naïve, either." She mumbled

He sat up almost fully standing, leaning against the bed, only keeping connection at the hips, with her on the edge, only being held onto the mattress by Aleksander keeping pressure on her wrists. The dark haired man looked at her with an eyebrow cocked as if he was about to call her bluff.

She knew, she couldn't let him see her starting to crack, but the comment did hit a bit of a nerve. She hated to be called a child, she was 17, not 10. She didn't want him to think of her like a child.. But, perhaps that was why he touches me so nonchalantly? Because he didn't even think of me as a woman? She tried her hardest not to show disappointment on her face. She really wasn't even sure why that thought was so disheartening.

"I bet, you haven't even had your first kiss yet. You blush so easy for me, my Solntse." Aleksander stated with an almost wicked smile, teasing her lightly, as he rubbed his thumbs into her palms as he held her wrists in place.

Alina turned her face away, indignation marring her features, jaw twitching. She snuggled her face into her inner elbow. She wanting nothing more than to hide from his intense gaze. She started to pull her wrists from his fingers with more strength, but his grip wouldn't budge. He tried meeting her eyes, mostly likely thinking she was only be shy, but confusion started to grow on his features, noticing the twinge of sadness in her eyes.

His playful smile faltered in a cruel smirk, as realization set in. "Oh, Alina.." He cooed out, pity lacing his words like a taught. "Were you saving it for that boy, you've spoken about. That childhood friend?" His fingers tightening around her wrist.

"Don't go there." She locked with his eyes in warning, shock triggering her whole body to stiffen under his large frame. "I mean it, Aleksander." Was it really that easy to see right through me? How could he have known that?

Aleksander laughed drily, a spark in his eye, at the crack in her armor. He clinched his fingers stricter around her thin wrists, as she winced, but her glare never easing. "You were waiting all this time… You mustn't have the slightest clue what sex is then? You really are like a child. Did you really think he'd come back for you?" His words was more biting than before, less playful.. The air seemed to shift, like static was starting to build around them. "Or was it just because you just` never got over him?"

"Stop, Aleksander." She growled between gritted teeth. Please stop.. She mental pleaded, begging him not to say another word, silly games and stupid learning aside. He was starting to touch a very tender area.. She had to keep her cool, but something about him being so stuck on this one topic, made her wonder, if he was starting to loose his cool instead.

"Wow… You do still like him." He raised his eyebrows, shaking his head, harsh disbelief distorting his elegant features. "Who knew, you're such a heartless romantic. Here I thought you smarter than that.."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't you mean hopeless romantic?" She smirked. "Who knew, that someone that has lived so long can still make silly mistakes." She felt a surge of smugness fill her, as she calmed herself. Hoping to direct his attention away from Mal. Anywhere else. She wanted to go back to the playful banter and soft touching.

"No. Heartless romantic." He smirked right back as her confidence fell. "Meaning, you read into insignificant things, and think it means love. But in reality, you really have no idea what real love feels like." His words adding gas to the spark in her, as embarrassment and hurt crept in, fueling it to a raging bonfire in her belly.

"You haven't even kissed anyone, based on what? Some foolish childhood crush." He hissed out, drawing closer to her face, letting her smell mint on his breath. She gritted her teeth, tilling her chin up to look down her nose at him. Alina knew she sounded naïve. Crazy even, yet she didn't care, She was too angry at this point to try and be logical. She didn't even care that she was playing right into his hands.

"You know nothing about Mal and I. Or what we are to each other." She finally snapped feeling a sudden since of determination, starting to struggle under his weight, tugging against him, trying to be free from his hands. She refused to let him make her feel like her feelings were meaningless, or petty.

"What you were.." He corrected drily like sending a knife through her, reminding her that Mal was in fact gone. "He left Alina, and he's not going to come back for you. If he had cared for you at all, he would have saved you from that orphanage years ago." He scoffed rolling his eyes, an emotionless leer tugging his lips, showing his white fangs.

Aleksander, in that moment, truly looked more like a beast that human to her. She paused in the wake of his laughter, stunned at the cruelty he'd inflict. All for what, a test? She felt as though this wasn't a game anymore, he was really trying to wound her… He was trying to hurt her for some other reason and she had no idea why. None the less, rage starting to pluck away at herself control, the words cutting so deep she felt her lungs tighten under the pain.

"It's pathetic really. I bet that boy doesn't even think about you, crave you. He's most likely forgotten all about you, just as you said." He growled lowing himself so that he pressing against her once more, his hips grinding painfully against her own.

"Yet, here you are, defending him. I pity you." He rumbled, his lips against her neck, before nipping at the skin between his teeth, continuing to roll his body into her, making waves of pleasure to pool between her legs.

While, she began to growl and push against him, tears starting to build in large brown eyes. His voice sounded cold and detached, but his body thrusting again hers, his hot breaths on her neck seemed desperate and carnal. She felt both hatred and pleasure twisting in her stomach.

"Save your pity! You are heartless, so you'd never understand what I felt. You're just bitter and lonely, because no one will ever love you like that! Of course, you don't know what that first kiss means to a woman!" The words busted from her chest in a flurry, as she writhing under him, her tears finally streaming down her face, feeling vulnerable and raw. The truth was, she didn't know if Mal ever felt the same way about her. How could she? Aleksander looked inside her, found the one chink in her armor, and aimed right for it..

He adjusted his head so he could look her in the eyes, till they were breathing the same air once more, as she heaved like a wild animal, growling and snarling. He looked deep into her tear stricken eyes, and just looked hungry and vengeful, as she felt her chest caving in with the doubts of her past. He panted, slowly moving his hands to grip her hips, never breaking eye contacted.

"That I am. Heartless, I mean. So, this will be easy." He almost purred out, then crashed his lips into hers. Kissing her with such vigor, strength and skill. As he lifted a hand to dive into her brown curls, as his over hand stayed on her hipbone. He used his grip on her to leverage deeper grinds again her, as she felt something hard and long pressing right against her lower regions. Sending sparks up her body with every deliberate thrust against her.

She blanched, feeling his smooth lips gilding along hers, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip, his hands holding her face in place. His expert skill causing the fire in her belly to dull momentarily, as he distracted her with strange worldly pleasure. More tears falling for her eyes, as the unknown feeling building, became stronger. Like a rubber band was about to snap inside her lower tummy.

She found herself leaning into him, feeling his stubble on her cheek, his tongue slipping out to taste her, savoir her. She felt a physical yearning building inside her, to the likes she had never felt before. His wet muscle pressing past her lips, massaging her tongue, exploring her mouth. He tasted like sweet mint, and hot wine. The taste of his tongue, snapping her eyes open, as fear filled her. She felt like something was about to explode inside of her.. A rush of rage and pain hitting her with such force that she felt as if she couldn't breathe. She had to stop him..

Then she bit down, teeth sinking into his tongue harshly. More waves of anguish and despair hitting her, at the realization of what he had just stole from her. The carnal taste on her lips, now burning like flames in protest to the vile actions he inflicted on her heart. The tension in her belly still twisted tight, but fading slowly now that his movements stopped, while guilt and shame replace the yearning in her chest.

"Fuck!" He pulled back sucking on his tongue, hand pulled to touch his mouth. As she brought a swift knee, flying up to hit him where all men hurt. Their crotch. He hit her where it hurt, she wanted to return the favor.

He groaned out, doubling over, holding his gut with a smug grin on his face. He kneeled before the bed, with Alina standing over him, fuming with such rage, she could feel heat on her skin in the form of shakes.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" She screamed, punching down, hitting him hard across the face. Just wanting him to make any other expression than the one he was currently making. As he touched his bleeding lip, only grinning wider.

"I WANTED THAT TO MEAN SOMETHING, YOU BASTARD!" She wrenched back, preparing to kick that grin off his stupid, handsome, and bleeding face. When he grabbed her calf, halting her, all while chuckling. She struggled harder, falling to the floor and smacking her hands at his chest violently.

"JUST WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!" She screamed, hammering fists into his shoulders and pecs, angry tears feeding the pain in her voice.

"It worked, your glowing slightly. So, another secondary emotion." He looked rather pleased with himself, grabbing her hands trying to force them still, as she panted still fumed with hatred and pulled it away instantly. Looking at him with all the disgust she felt.

Alina looked at the floor under her, the feelings sinking in, as a little hic escaped her lips, rolling in front of subtle sobs. She tucked her knees to her chest, wanting to crawl into her shell, as she buried her head in her legs.

He stole my first kiss. It was supposed to be with someone that loved her, maybe not Mal, but at least someone that loved her... Now it's gone, another shred of my innocence gone. What would Mal or other men think of me now that I am so soiled, so unclean. All for what? A cruel man's entertainment? Or test?.. She rubbed her leaking eyes, as Aleksander sat before her, studying her with inquisitive eyes, tilting his head, breaths becoming haste. A look of smugness now fading to one of guilt, as he sat watching the young girl being wrecked by sob after bitter sob.

She felt him kneel in front of her fully, as he placed his hands on either side of her legs, chin almost touching her knees. "Alina.." He started, the weight of his actions crashing down on him like a ton of bricks, as his features grew more concerned.

"That wasn't yours to steal! You knew that meant something to me.." She choked out between sobs, she felt like her chest was crushing her lungs. "Just for a test…How dare you look so proud of yourself! You really are heartless."

"Would you say you're suffering now?" He couldn't stop himself from asking, only trying to make light of the dark situation he had found himself in. She released a pained gasp, shoved him away, hands firmly on his chest.

"Yes, you monster." She whimpered out, gripping his shirt. "And I'm angry. You can check that off your list, now. Congrats. I'm not playing your dumb game anymore!" She wailed out, feeling defeated. A little more of her innocence, her purity, was ripped away from her. Aleksander was only one of many that stole her childlike wonder from her. Everyone was allowed a piece of her, but herself. She was the only one, that was not allowed that part. She wasn't just angry at the Darkling, she was angry at the world that she had to be born into. She mourned her once innocent self.

"I was only trying to tease you a little, get you irritated at the most. I really didn't mean…" The dark haired man trailed off, looking lost for words, before sighing and dropping his head. Clearly, regretting pushing her so far, as he placed a gentle hand her balled fist.

She smacked his hand away pulling her fingers to hold her heart, eyes red and narrowed, tears still seeping from them uncontrollably. "Didn't mean to what? Hurt me?" She gasped trying to catch her breath between sobs. "Take away the one thing that I wanted to do with someone that care for me?"

"Well, you're still a virgin aren't you?" He flinched back at his own words, as he slipped his eyes shut, shaking his head. He obviously was going to regret that as well. She was going to make sure of it.

She slapped him hard across the cheek, her hands shaking. The noise ringing through the room as he froze, face pointed away from her, as red flushed his cheek.

"Go to hell."

He excepted it, her anger, chewing on his lip, guilt showing clear as day on his face. He ran a hand through his hair, standing up. Looking like he didn't know what to do with himself, ringing his hands. He paced for a moment before her, rolling his jaw. Growing more frustrated by each stride, before spinning to face her.

"It worked, didn't it!" He snapped pointing a finger at her. "We learned something new, two things in fact. That It's not anger and not suffering. So, quit with the waterworks. You women cry for every emotion, happy tears, sad tears.. angry tears. What are women anyways? Beautifully crafted, faucets?" He ranted, looking tousled and flustered. "It was just a fucking kiss, Alina."

She shook her head in amazement at his stupidity, sitting up. She walked close to him, tears no longer falling, as she looked up at him only a foot away. "Such a way with words, Mr. Aleksander." She spit out sarcastically, as she blinked her eyes, clearing away any evidence of her tears.

He just threw up his arms, rolling his lips inward, and scrunching his brow. "What can I say, I'm no knight in shining armor, Solntse. I do what needs to be done, and it's not always pretty." He growled walking back to the desk, plopping down in his large chair, rubbing the bridge of his nose, leaning on the arm rests. He was practically sulking.

"Knight in shining armor?" She scoffed. "I could never mistake you for that." She turned to look at his hunched over frame, looking like devil on his throne of hell. She scowled, feeling guilt at the pleasure she felt when he kissed her, he truly was like the devil, making girls sin, and forcing them to like it. He really was evil, in the worse way.

"Of course, you couldn't. A clever girl like you." He mumbled harshly, before standing up abruptly shoving his chair back in his haste. "Never mind, I'm going for a walk. Don't wait for my return." He stated, practically already out of the door, before slamming it behind him.

He thinks women have dramatic outbursts, but he sure likes his dramatic exits.. She thought to herself, signing scrubbing away a stray tear, knowing it wasn't going to be the last to come.

ALEKSANDER

Aleksander stormed pasted his castle gates, with rage that he knew he was not allowed, causing his stomping feet to carry him into the woods. His darkness swirling around him, as he continued his strides past trees and bushes. He just continued to hurt the only person he could possibility relate to. Was he truly that adept to the delicate nature of females? Why did she always have to provoke him? He had slept with countless women, had seduced princesses and maids alike.

So, why with this one orphan girl, does he lose all ability to charm?

He was confident with his skills, in terms of seducing, but when he opens his mouth he fails to find the right words each and every time. He scowled back at his homestead through the night, looking at the candle lit room of his main quarters at the very top right tower. He could barely make out the silhouette of Alina in the window at his desk, pacing in and out of sight.

She was growing more beautiful every moment that he spent with her. Each day, proving how capable she was. Like no other woman he had ever met, pushing past grace to show strong will and stubbornness that matched his own. Impressing him with every kick and punch. She was strong, not just beautiful. If only she showed some wisdom at times.. But she was never lacking in intelligence. She was truly a marvel. It was becoming harder to control himself around her as well..

Today, she even wore the dress of the woman that was so dear to him, once upon a time. Yet, all he could think of was Alina. She filled every thought he had, suffocating him with overwhelming visions of her in various situations..

He thought about her doing much more than merely lying next to him, trading feather light touches or violent outbursts of fists and cruel words. Aleksander growled, kicking at the earth, sending soot and pebbles flying every which way.

"Damn it!" He yelled into the night, as his thoughts still haunted him.

She loved that stupid Mal, he knew it. All while, she sees himself as nothing more than a heartless monster, that kidnapped her and stole her first kiss. And I still can't keep myself from daydreaming of her writhing under me. Sweaty, hair tossed, and face flushed like only moments ago. Can't stop the feeling of yearning to see her fully naked in that bath, with the candle light dancing across slick skin.. He pulled at his own hair and hissed, trying desperately not to see her that way, but only failed miserably.

He turned around on his heels and continued deeper into the wood. It was no surprise to him that she only viewed him as a villain. He acted like one, he knew he did, but he couldn't stop himself. Like he was seeing his actions in third person, begging himself not to say the things that he was saying to her, not to do the things he was doing. Yet, he continued, unable to control his deepest desire to touch her, then taking out his frustrations of not being able to touch her, though hurtful words.

He paused, as he found himself at the cusp of a grand waterfall in the middle of a familiar thicket, the sound washing away any other noise for yards. He sighed ripping off his clothing, and diving into the cool water below him. Needing desperately to cool the heat that filled him. She was so stubborn and difficult, it both excited him and enraged him.

He resurfaced gasping, as the icy water shocked his mind into clearing only for a moment, as he floated onto his back looking up at the stars above him. It was like the universe was trying to punish him by bringing his only equal, in the form of a girl that was as beautiful as she was harshly annoying. Void of all manners and ladyship. She was also immature and brash. Not to mention, awfully disobedient.

He sighed slipping his eyes closed. All he wanted was for her to accept him, to understand him. Why did she always have to provoke him, bringing the worse of himself to the light.. She isn't even trying to see things from his point of view.

She is only 17.. His thoughts reminded him, as he sighed feeling guilt start to raise once more from his gut.

I just stole a first kiss from a young girl, maybe I haven't been seeing her point of view.. He rubbed his face groaning at his own cruelty. He knew he didn't have to do that to make her angry, but when she seemed so dead set on saving it for her crush, something in him snapped. Like he had to kiss her first, like that young boy she spoke of didn't deserve that first kiss.

He wanted it for himself. He wanted to be the only one to taste her, the only one to know that pleasure. To know, she tasted of sweet candies and black tea. He selfishly wanted to be the only one to take every one of her 'firsts'. Making sure she'd never be able to forget him. Or forgive him, in this case.

Aleksander groaned again, dropping his arms back into the water with a splash. He only came here when he felt like killing someone, but tonight the only one he wanted to harm was himself. He knew he had no right to deserve that innocent woman's kiss, but he took it selfishly.

He thought back to the aching billows of her cries, her heart break was audible. She only known suffering in her life, so he doubted that was her beckoning emotion. He inflicted it on her needlessly, thoughtlessly.. Not even for a test, but simply because he wanted her first kiss, her virginity, her innocents. He wanted her all to himself, even if she wasn't like him. Even if she was just an ordinary orphan, it didn't matter.

He didn't deserve her though, and perhaps he wanted to punish her for that. Like the cleanness of her soul, make his soul darker in comparison. Casting light on every putrid thing he was, making his sin clear as day.

He was most defiantly her villain.

Aleksander swam over to the mouth of waterfall letting the icy liquid cascading over his neck and shoulders, sighing as it calmed the burse forming on his cheek from her punch. He thought back to his mother, and her harsh love that always set him back straight. He wished so badly for her advice, her never failing council. She would know what to do with a wild woman, like Alina. He never really was good about expressing how he felt, always digging a deeper hole for himself, till his mother would come to pull him out.

He's been alone for so long, and he had half a mind to say, that it was because his mother was not there. To tell him how to keep people around longer. Even after seducing many ladies, he was never able to convince them to stay. Not that he had particularly wanted to either, but that was beside the point. He needed to figure out sooner rather than later to make Alina stay, even if she turns out to never awaken her powers.

He didn't care if it was selfish, he was never going to let her leave.

ALINA

The slam of the door echoed long after Aleksander had left. She stood and just stared at the walnut door, confused and heartbroken. She touched her lips, running her fingers across them, over and over. Her mind was racing from everything to the feeling of the older man's lips on hers, guilt about the small part of her that wanted him to do it again. Then, back to furious thoughts of feeling used and tarnished, thinking the Darkling was the most selfish person to have ever walked the earth.

She had settled into the now empty room, feeling slightly less on edge now that her kidnaper was finally out of sight. She pondered into a leisured pace, moving from one side of the room to the other, looking down at her chained ankle, the metal feeling weightless around her leg. It felt like air, until she strayed too far, before turning into hardened steel. She sighed testing it, over and over again, letting her ankle grow raw from the cuff.

She was starting to calm as she focused on her steps. Letting her mind fully wonder into areas of her thought, that she avoided. She remembered the fuzzy memories from earlier. She could practically feel his gentle hands caressing her neck, the heat from his fingers still lingering on her skin.

Alina stumbled forward to the other side, remembering his words, hot and whispered against her ear, calling her breath taking. She swiftly turned, pacing faster and faster. The feel of his warm soft lips, devouring hers, causing her guts to tighten and pull. Smooth lips, in contrast to his prickly stubble. It was all she could think about, even if the guilt was making her want to throw up, her mind kept teetering back to all the touches. Even the harsh ones, gave her the same sensation deep in her abdomen that she couldn't explain.

That sickening sweet tugging that made her want more, but wasn't sure what 'more,' even was.. She wanted to cry out in frustration at her body and mind, how could she even look at the Darkling as anything other than a villain? Why did she crave more of his touches? She should hate him for all that he's done.. He'd stole her first real taste of freedom, stolen her first kiss, spoken harshly to her… Why?

Was it just because he was handsome? Was she really that shallow?

No, it wasn't just that. Perhaps, it was the moments when he was kind that drew her in. She knew that a few moments of compassion didn't erase all the bad. Yet, when he was kind, she felt like she could melt under his affections. She had never been touched the way Aleksander touched her. Like in the bath, or as he tucked her into bed. Mal hadn't even touched her like that..

Could it be that the strange man was right? And she really hadn't a clue what love felt like? Was the feelings she felt for Mal really as strong as she thought? Or was it just because she lacked so much affection as a child, that she mistook his friendship for love?

She screamed out at the feeling of division in her mind, not able to make heads or tails of her true feelings. She screamed and shouted till her throat felt sore and strained, but her body felt numb. She breathed a few shaky breaths, as she just listened to her own heart beat in her ears. She felt dizzy and tired as she glanced back at the bookshelf.

He stole her first kiss, so any guilt for reading his journals felt silly. She huffed out an angry breath, stomping over to the bookshelf's and grabbed one of the leather binders that was in the very middle of the section. She didn't hesitate to open the book, starting to read as she continued to pace. Wrath still bubbling in her bones, making her restless.

She started at the top of the first page.

"The funeral was held today. Of course, I couldn't go. Luda, just like everyone else, was not immortal. Even the brightest stars, burn out. But, at least it will shine for a long time after they are gone."

Alina paused her steps just staring at the now neater hand writing, much more like the note Aleksander had left her. She read the new name, over and over. Luda.. A woman's name… For a moment, she wasn't sure if she should keep reading, but ignored that thought. He violated her wishes, so why should she respect his unspoken ones. She knew he wouldn't tell her anything about his past, or why he was called the Darkling in the first place. whether he liked it or not, she wanted to know. Then, she'd actually be able to put any fondness she had for the dark man to rest.

"I knew someday she would die, either by age or illness, but I never thought it would be so soon. Mother's been gone for so long, and now I feel true loneliness without Luda's warmth to remind me that there was still good in this world. Her father believes that I killed her, in a way, I believe I killed her too. If I had never met Luda, she would still be here now, tending to her herbs.."

The brown haired girls heart sank. Could this be where the stories started?

"Luda loved me, as misguided as her love was, I couldn't refuse her. Why did good people always have to suffer when they are around me? I am nothing more than a curse, sent to the world to make sure that no good deed ever goes unpunished.

I'm on the run again, not surprising that her duke of a father have sent his men after me. So, I go south to Rivka, I found passage with a small group of workers heading there in hopes of better pay. From now on, I will do as I please and never get attached to anyone person, just like my mother had told me many times.

It only took the death of the only woman that I've ever longed for, to make me come to the same conclusion. I need learn my lesson, I wish I learned it the first time."

Alina frowned looking out the window. She studied the stars that seemed so bright against the dark night, feeling more confused than ever. She wondered where Aleksander was. She wondered so many things, how was she supposed to hate a man, that was so clearly broken. She thought back to the first day she arrived, how she mocked his loneliness and called him selfish.

He may very well have been selfish, but his loneliness must have been so horrific to make his heart so cold. He lost his first love too, maybe not in the same way she did, but still lost. At least, the young girl could still hope to one day meet Mal again someday.

How many people that Aleksander loved, did he have to watch fade away in the 400 years that he had been in this cruel world? She pulled herself from the stars and sliver of a moon, returning to the words in front of her. It was the next entry, it looked smudged by droplets of water, like tear drops. She sighed touching the worn paper.

"I was with another woman tonight, but she didn't feel like Luda. They never do. Perhaps, no one will again. I've gotten quite good at seducing women, most of them are foolish and weak, but at least their gold is worth something. I'm bored by this world.. Nothing excites me anymore, I am pretending to a duke. It has serviced me well, but I need something that challenges me.

I am to meet with the king this upcoming week, to try and show him that my power can be of use, maybe then I can finally stop running and do something new. He also only has one daughter, she's young and naive. If I play my cards right, I could even be king one day. I give up this pretend game of humanity."

She shut the book, not wanting to read anymore, she memorized the symbols on the side, knowing she'd read the rest later. She knew the catalyst to his fall was going to be soon. It had to be, considering the old stories of a dark lord, seducing a princess, that sent the country into ruin. It suddenly made since now, that the stories about the Black Heretic, and The dark spirit in the woods, were both about Aleksander. He was both the Darkling and the Black Heretic.

She signed placed the book back where it came from, looking around the room at the expensive décor and lavished furnishing, all of it was from the princesses dowry. She leaned against the best and rubbed the space between her brows.

She had been so blind, how had she not connected the two stories before? When she was practically living inside the evidence. The stories were written so long apart, but it was all clear now. He was 400 years old, no one would connect the stories unless they knew that he never that never aged.

These strange feelings she was having for him, was nothing more than years of practice at seducing naive girls, he's had years of practice. She should have known she didn't powers, she felt foolish that she was almost falling for it. He most likely told every girl that passed through these woods the same things. He almost certainly uses them to warm his bed, then tosses them aside or kills them, when he grows bored of them.

She laughed cruelly at her past hopes of a handsome man, making her think she was actually special. you really are nothing more than a stupid naive girl. Her inner voice whispered coldly in her head. She looked down at her dress and felt sick, grabbing the dress and desperately clawed at it, tugging it off as quickly as possible. She didn't want it touching her, as waves of nausea hit her.

This was Luda's dress or the princesses, she just knew it. She wanted it off, she didn't want to be just another conquest wearing the clothing of a dead woman. She almost had it fully off, before she felt bile creeping up her throat, she barely made it to the waste basket in time. She hacked and coughed over the large tin can, as everything in her was expelled, leaving her with dry heaves and tears streaming down her face.

Once she felt well enough to stand, she stepped out of the dress, leaving only her corset and bloomers, as she tossed it across the room, as it slid slightly under the bed. She walked to the bathroom and looked for her old night gown felling like that was the only safe option, only thing that didn't mark her for death. But, it was gone, most likely already thrown out.

She growled throwing the empty bin in the bathroom against the back wall, causing it to dent. She closes her eyes, feeling hopeless and terrified, all he did was lie to her, and she lapped it up like a love starved dog. She fought back the tears as her lip quivered, burring her handing in her hair and sinking down to the floor.

What was she going to do? She was bound by a magic chain, in the clutches of an evil man with bondless knowledge and power. She was trapped, with no hopes of escape. She hit her skull with her fist, croaking out a tearless cry. Trying to knock an idea into her head, but none came.

She squeezed her eyes shut tight, and placed shaky palms on the cool marble floor, trying to steady her breaths. She needed to calm down, to think clearly and cunningly.

Like a light in the dark, it came it her finally. She was going to have make him fall in love with her.. She was going to have convince him to let her go, not through brute strength or test of will. She was going to have to seduce him, just as he did to all the women in those stories. She was going to have to beat him at his own game.

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Hello beautiful people,

Thank you for reading, it truly does mean a lot. I'm so sorry for the delay, its hard writing about romance, when I've been heartbroken for days. My Boyfriend of six years, broke up with me three days before Christmas. I had to pack what little I had and drive 14 hours back to my home state. First time seeing my parents in years...

I really wondered if I'd be able to create a decent chapter this month, but I'm really glad I pushed forward and kept writing, because it really was the only thing that kept my mind off of the break up. I've had to start my life over, and I'm not really sure about anything anymore, but writing is the only thing that's remained the same. So, please let me know how you liked it, and if you didn't, let me know how I can do better.

Thank you so much,

Katt