Hey folks! The sun is out and it's getting warmer… Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 10 – The Woes of Wooing
Over the next weeks, Bo held true to her vow, working hard with her inner Queen and trying to learn control. She felt that she was making real progress, and Théa agreed, which made Bo all the more confident that she'd soon be ready to finally give into the ever-burning urge to touch her wife the way she and her succubus craved to.
While the brunette was feeling better about herself by the minute, Lauren, on the other hand, was slowly losing her self-assurance. It wasn't that she hadn't seen Bo – on the contrary, they'd met up whenever they could. But somehow, they were always either accompanied by Emily or Jo, or surrounded by a lot of people, like at the café or in other public places. The truth was, Lauren was getting frustrated.
Initially, she'd been so sure that she and Bo wanted the same thing, but the more often they said their goodbyes at night without anything happening, the more she doubted her own impression. Bo hadn't even kissed her on the cheek again after that first time!
Lauren's increasingly bad mood hadn't escaped Emily's notice. All week, the blonde had been pacing about in her bedroom, huffing and puffing, and sometimes angrily muttering to herself about isotopes and enzymes. It would've been amusing, but her edginess was starting to rub off on Emily. She needed her study time, and Lauren's mood didn't help one bit.
Much to her relief, today seemed to be the turning point, as the doc had just unceremoniously entered the young woman's room and plopped down on Emily's bed, who was currently working through heaps of books scattered everywhere. She closed the one she was holding and looked at her friend.
"Care to share?", she asked the sulking blonde.
Lauren slumped her shoulders and pulled a miserable face. She felt a little silly, acting like a frustrated teenager, but she so badly wanted her relationship with Bo to go somewhere, and currently it looked like nothing was ever going to happen.
"It's… Bo", she admitted.
Emily sat up straight and frowned. "What about her? Don't tell me she was mean to you, cos if she did anything, I'm going to…"
Shaking her head, Lauren reached over to grab her friend's hand. "No, no, nothing like that. On the contrary." She managed a small smile at Emily's fierce determination.
"Then what?", she inquired. "Talk to me, Lauren. You've been acting strange lately, and frankly, it's been irritating. I'm kind of behind on my studies."
"God, I'm so sorry", Lauren said with heartfelt remorse. What was wrong with her? Normally, she'd be the last one disturbing anyone's studying, least of all her closest friend.
"It's okay. Just tell me, what's up with you two."
"It's just that…" Lauren found this a lot harder than she felt it should be, but something had to be done, or she'd go nuts. "I want to be with Bo", she blurted out. "You know, like… more intimately. And I thought she wanted to as well, but… well, she's not doing anything."
The young woman took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Of course, Lauren's problems were love-related. Emily was only nineteen and hadn't been enamoured before, but she'd seen enough love flicks to know a thing or two about the highs and lows of this mysterious feeling. And as far as she could tell, Lauren had it bad for Bo.
"Weren't you the one, who wanted to go slow?", she reminded her gently.
"I did! But now, I… don't want that anymore. I really, really like her."
"You don't say", Emily replied with an ironic grin.
"That obvious, huh?"
She shrugged. "Pretty much. But as far as I see it, that's not a bad thing."
"How so?"
"Lauren, it's just as obvious, that Bo likes you back… I've told you before, and I'll say it again – the way she looks at you, it's real. Honest. You can't fake that. At least not for such a long time."
"Then why doesn't she kiss me already?", Lauren whined, pulling a comical face that made Emily smirk.
"Well, did you ever actually tell her that you decided the going slow doesn't do it for you anymore?"
Lauren pouted. "No… but I gave her all the signs."
"Oh, c'mon, Lo, are you serious? This isn't sixth grade. You're a grown-ass woman and need relationship advice from me?"
"You're only four years younger", Lauren mumbled defensively, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her phone went off, and she fished it out of her pocket. Clicking on the new message, her face immediately brightened without her noticing.
"Message from Bo?", Emily quipped with a grin.
Lauren lowered her gaze, her smile changing from wide to sheepish. "Yeah. She says she's off next Saturday and asking me out on a picknick. She wants to meet me at the café and go to the river."
"But that sounds awesome, right? And considerate", Emily added emphatically.
"It does. She's amazing… But it's a public place again!", Lauren added, exasperated. "Dear lord, I sound like a horny teenager."
Emily put her book away and moved the rest out of the way, so she could sit next to Lauren and put an arm around her. "Nah", she said. "You sound like you have feelings for her. I've never seen you like this before."
"You've only known me for a year", Lauren countered, her voice muffled, because she had her face buried in her hands.
"Touché", Emily conceded. "But in all that time, I've never seen you look twice at another woman." Lauren didn't move, and Emily sighed. For a second, she pondered if what she was about to say was crossing a line, but decided she had to, so that these two knuckleheads finally got together.
"Have you ever considered…", she started and hesitated for a second. Lauren lowered her hands and looked at her, expectantly… and full of hope. "Maybe it's time you opened up to her… you know, about what happened to you. Your past?"
Lauren's eyes widened in concern, maybe even shock. Emily put a soothing hand on her thigh. "Don't worry, I know nothing about it. I never hacked your file or anything", she assured her. "I wouldn't do that… even though I could", she added with a cheeky smirk, then turned serious again. "I'm just good at reading people. Call it a special skill, but… I know you're guarding a secret."
In fact, she'd felt pretty much from the start that there was something more behind her roommate's aloof façade… possibly something big. But she'd never pressured her and she wouldn't start now. She figured Lauren would tell her on her own terms as soon as she was ready. And she'd always had a good feeling about the doctor, so she'd never been worried about herself.
Frowning, Lauren tilted her head. Her initial shock was gone, now replaced with awe. She'd never thought about Emily this way. She always seemed so trusting towards everyone – even naïve – but maybe it wasn't like that at all. She just happened to be a great judge of character. And a great hacker, apparently… not that it should've really surprised Lauren. After all, Emily was incredibly talented with machines and knickknacks. All the more reason for Lauren to be grateful for her friend's discretion. A wave of relief and affection surged through her and she visibly relaxed.
Emily smiled. "You don't have to tell her everything, you know?", she reminded her. "Just give her a little bit of yourself. Show her you trust her, and she will likely reciprocate."
For a while, neither of them spoke. The blonde seemed to be deep in thought, so to defuse the seriousness of the last few minutes, Emily added: "Besides, who said Bo had to be the one to make the first move? Go ahead and kiss her already. I'd say that picknick is the perfect opportunity. Public place or not, this isn't the fifties. You can kiss a girl out in the street. And I guarantee you, said girl will love every second of it."
Lauren snapped out of her thoughtful haze and mirrored her friend's smirk. Emily was right. It was time to be bold. To come out of her shell and take a risk. Oh yes. She would kiss Bo this Saturday, come hell or high water.
XXX
Bo was waiting for Lauren outside of the Cosy Corner, where they were supposed to meet up in five minutes. She was in the middle of checking for about the fourth time, whether she'd packed everything. Her little picknick trolley – courtesy of Max – contained some refreshing watered-down cherry juice, a variety of light salads she'd prepared herself, some bread, and a couple of Lauren's favourites from the café.
A crunching sound caught her attention, and she looked up, her eyes registering Lauren walking towards her across the gravel path leading up to the café. She was smiling, and Bo's stomach did a somersault, just like it always did, when she saw her. Even back in their old timeline, after years of being together, the mere sight of her wife never failed to give her butterflies. She welcomed the blonde with a bright smile and a wave, and together, they headed off towards the river.
As always, they chatted away easily, even though Bo noticed that something was different today. Lauren seemed more tactile and walked a lot closer to her than usual. Her aura was as colourful as ever around the succubus, but today, it seemed clearer… more open. The beautiful shine complemented her already-gorgeous form, and Bo basked in the view and the sound of her voice.
They found a nice private spot to sit down by the water – a miracle, one might think, considering the beautiful Saturday weather, but Bo had planned ahead. It was still morning, so not a lot of people were on the move yet. It had been one of the many things the brunette had factored in when coming up with this picknick idea, because she wanted all her moments with Lauren to be perfect.
Losing her so violently and then so outrageously and unexpectedly getting her back had left a permanent scar on Bo's soul – a scar that was still healing. And seeing Lauren laugh and smile at Bo's small gestures was proving to be the best medicine.
Lauren, as always, was lost in the sight of the beautiful brunette in front of her. She didn't notice the woman playing fetch with her dog nearby, nor the two guys playing frisbee, nor the noisy swishing of a rowboat steered by a young man, who was out on the water with his partner. Lauren was too busy watching Bo, studying the way her hands and facial features moved, as she was pulling one delicacy after the next out of her little trolley, neatly placing things between them on the large picknick blanket, as she was commenting on each treat.
The blonde listened and observed, enchanted by Bo's presence… and her outfit. It was a warm summer day, so Lauren had opted for a pair of shorts, a light blue tank top and some flat sandals. Bo, on the other hand, looked… mouth-watering. She was wearing a flowery yellow light summer dress that beautifully accentuated her cleavage without overdoing it. Her hair was done up in a ponytail – likely because of the heat – and she was wearing no make-up. Lauren loved everything about the image in front of her. As much as she'd enjoyed Bo's sexy femme-fatale look that first day at the party, she'd grown to prefer the brunette all natural. She was breathtaking either way, and Lauren could've spent hours just looking at her.
"Are you even listening to me?", Bo asked with a lopsided smirk, snapping the blonde out of her trance.
"You look beautiful", Lauren said, returning the other woman's smile. She hadn't meant to be this forward right at the start of their date, but the words had left her mouth before she could stop them. She didn't regret saying them though. She'd come here on a mission, after all, and judging by Bo's reaction, simply going with the truth seemed to be the best approach.
Bo grinned, congratulating herself on her little victory. It was obvious now, that her earlier assessment of the blonde's aura had been correct, and she was feeling confident that she and her succubus were finally ready to go further.
"Thank you, so do you", she replied softly.
There it was again – that gaze, telling Lauren that Bo saw only her. A gaze she reserved for the blonde, as Lauren had never seen it directed at anyone else… and a gaze that had made her chip away at her own walls, lowering them bit by bit, because she felt ready to finally let Bo in. The glint in her eyes lasted only a split-second, but it was there. Which could mean only one thing: Bo did still want her in that way, but it was up to Lauren to make a move. It was time to give her a piece of herself.
"So", Bo said, ripping Lauren from her thoughts once more. "What would you like to start with?"
"Your home-made summer salad, please. With some of that delicious-looking bread on the side. Oh, and ice-cold cherry juice sounds amazing."
"So, you were listening", Bo replied with a cheeky grin.
"Always", Lauren assured, reaching over to brush her hand against Bo's. To her surprise, she seemed flustered at the rather intimate gesture – a rare sight on the usually unshakeable brunette, but one that Lauren very much enjoyed.
They started eating, and the blonde steered their conversation back to safer waters. She wanted to open up to Bo, even craved getting things off her chest at this point. But she had all the time in the world. The day was still young and neither of them had any plans until the afternoon.
After tasting a little bit of all the goodies Bo had brought, Lauren finished her meal by savouring the last bite of one of the Cosy Corner's famous cakes, which, according to Bo, Max had prepared this very morning, before even opening the café, because Bo had asked her to. Lauren was baffled by the amount of thought and effort that had gone into planning this picknick, and she appreciated it more than she could've expressed. Nobody had ever treated her with this much consideration, and it made her even more confident that sharing her dark past with Bo was something she wanted… no, needed to do.
"Bo?", she started, after thoroughly praising Max' baking talent and Bo's fine composition of treats. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about." Despite her decision, her heart was racing – a mixture of excitement and fear at the array of possible impending reactions from the brunette.
Bo could tell by Lauren's demeanour that she was about to share something important, so she nodded in encouragement. "Of course. Anything."
"First of all, I… like you, Bo. A lot." Lauren looked up, and to her relief, Bo seemed to be completely relaxed. Phew. Okay, let's do this. "I want this… us to go further." She paused, hoping to signal that she needed some kind of reassurance at this point.
Bo's insides were doing a victory dance, which she hoped didn't show too much on her face. "Me too", she simply stated and reached across the food and drinks lined up in between them to take Lauren's hand.
The blonde swallowed, trying to cope with the butterflies going bonkers inside her gut. First step, done. Now for the harder part. "But before I can… we can… do that… I need you to know, what you're getting yourself into." She nervously cleared her throat and then sighed. "I'm not, who you think I am", she finally admitted, eyeing the brunette for any sign of distress. But for now, there was no reaction other than a questioning frown.
"My name is not… or hasn't always been Lauren Lewis", she continued quietly. "I have a… troubled past. There were things I did… terrible things. I never wanted them to happen, you have to believe me… but they did anyway, and now…" She swallowed.
Lauren had let go of Bo's hand, in case the news would make her want to run off, and her gaze was fixated on the ground, because she didn't want to witness, in case the other woman did decide to escape. But before she could ponder, how much more would be wise to share after having known Bo for only a month, she felt her hand on her arm.
Mustering all her courage, she looked up, only noticing now that the tears stinging in her eyes were running down her cheeks.
Bo's heart ached for Lauren. Of course, she already knew about her wife's best-guarded secret. It had taken the doctor a long time to fully open up to Bo, but at some point between her short tryst with the Dark and Hades' return, she'd told her everything – about her brother, about the bombs she'd made, about the lost lives, and about the anonymous trust fund she'd opened up for the eleven victims' families.
But no money in the world could ever ease her guilt, and even after decades of this permanent brand on her heart, it had been hard for Lauren to talk about. And yet, this moment was even worse. Because at this point in time, the horrible incident was still fresh in the blonde's memory and she clearly suffered immensely from it. Which was why Bo decided to intervene by carefully touching her.
"It's okay", she said, gently caressing her skin with her thumb. "You don't have to tell me anything else."
Lauren was both relieved and confused. "Bo, I don't think you understand… I… people died, and I contributed…", she blurted forth, suddenly determined to lay it all out for Bo. It was only now, that she noticed, how painful it had been keeping silent for all this time, and how much she'd needed an outlet.
Bo sighed. If she was going to continue pretending not having known the blonde four weeks ago, there was simply no common-sense reaction left at this point. Anyone in her pretend-shoes would probably either run off and never look back, or take Lauren to the next police station, and the look on the blonde's face was clearly fearful that Bo might do just that.
Back when Lauren finally felt ready to open up to her in their old timeline, they'd already known each other for years. So many things had happened between them, and they'd been able to look at the events in her past with a certain distance. Plus, who, if not Bo, was capable of forgiving Lauren? Nobody knew better than her, what it meant to be on the run after involuntarily ending the lives of numerous individuals… But in this time, she couldn't utilise any of that. There was no way to make Lauren believe that she saw past the ever-looming darkness troubling the blonde so deeply, that she couldn't even forgive herself.
Bo's mind raced, as she tried to come up with a plausible reaction that didn't make her come across as a raging lunatic, who condoned mass murder… She was surprised, to put it mildly, at Lauren's out-of-the-blue decision to give her something so private and intimate, making herself incredibly vulnerable to a person she'd known for such a short amount of time. It wasn't like her – not even in their original timeline. In a way, it gave Bo a sense of pride – like her "new" self was somehow better than the old Bo. Like she'd suddenly figured out a magic way to make Lauren feel safe and trustworthy without even trying.
And then, for the first time since arriving here, it dawned on Bo that it was the other way around… That this woman wasn't her old Lauren at all, at least not yet. Because as much as this Lauren was very much like her future self, with regards to beauty and kindness, she was missing two decades of life experience… years of overwhelming pain and joy. Years that had shaped her. Years that hadn't happened yet…
Relief overcame Bo, and the pressure was gone as quickly as it had arrived. All she needed was a change of perspective – she had to start anew, just as much as Lauren did. She had to let go of the familiar concept of her wife and welcome the new person she was currently looking at – a young, inexperienced Lauren, who likely needed only one thing right now… support.
"Actually, I think I do understand", Bo said. "But I can see, how painful talking about this is for you. You can tell me everything… someday. When you're truly ready. But right now, I just want you to know that I'm here to stay, no matter what."
Lauren wasn't convinced. What Bo said sounded too good to be true. "How can you know that, without having all the details?", she inquired.
"Because I can tell, that you care, and honestly, that's all I need to know right now." She paused, taking her hand. "Lauren, do you…" Bo hesitated. Was it too soon for her to ask this question? Four weeks weren't a lot of time, but Lauren was clearly ready to take the next step, so Bo took her chances. "Do you trust me?"
The blonde tilted her head and frowned, like she couldn't believe, what she was about to say. "I've never told anyone about this… ever. So… yes, I think I do", she replied, and Bo breathed an inward sigh of relief.
"Then please believe me when I say that there is nothing… nothing, that you could possibly reveal about yourself to ever make me want to leave your side." She looked deep in to her eyes, holding her gaze for emphasis. "I feel, deep inside, that you, Lauren Lewis, are special, no matter, what you call yourself. And I know that this… our connection… is real."
"Me too", Lauren whispered. She was baffled by Bo's words, but also enchanted by her intense gaze. The look in her eyes spoke of honesty… sincerity. It spoke the truth.
There was nothing left now, Lauren thought. Nothing more to hold them back. She'd involuntarily moved closer. They were both sitting leaned to the side, facing each other, their weight resting on one arm. Lauren swallowed and looked down at Bo's lips. This was the moment – she would make her move and finally kiss her. Her anxious heart beat faster by the millisecond, but the brunette didn't back away. She seemed to wait for Lauren to come to her. Which made sense after today's revelations. She wanted to make sure Lauren was ready. For everything. So, she left the final step to her.
Bo's stomach fluttered, but it wasn't from nervousness. By now, she was confident that she'd be able to control her Queen, so her reaction was pure excitement. Closer and closer, Lauren inched, and Bo was about to shut her eyes to enjoy their second first kiss, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye…
"Oh, crap, watch out!", an unfamiliar voice shouted.
But it was too late, as a split-second later, the thing she'd just caught a glimpse of – a neon-green frisbee – crashed right into the space between the two, knocking over the glasses and bottles, covering both of them in a mess of sticky red juice.
One of the guys – the one who'd thrown the frisbee – came running, rambling forth a torrent of excuses, as he fished the corpus delicti from in between them, while awkwardly trying to use his t-shirt to wipe their arms and hands.
Bo looked at Lauren, Lauren looked at Bo, and both of them burst out laughing. The guy stopped his clumsy ministrations and looked from one to the other and back again, before slowly backing away, getting up and then legging it, as he continued babbling on about how sorry he was.
Him and his buddy were long gone when Lauren and Bo finally calmed down. They eyed their clothes, assessing the damage, and decided to call it a date. They were both in urgent need of a shower, and, after walking side by side for a while, they said goodbye at a junction, where they went their separate ways to head home.
The entire way to her apartment, Lauren had a spring in her step. The interruption had put a dent in her plan, but it didn't change the fact that she'd finally dared opening up to Bo, and more importantly, made her move. Because despite the failed attempt, she was sure that the brunette had been ready to return the kiss. Bo had looked more than willing to reciprocate, and Lauren found herself grinning like an idiot, even though the state of her clothes was earning her more than one confused stare from passing pedestrians.
Stepping out of the shower about half an hour later, she found a notification on her phone, that caused her permanent grin to grow even wider.
Sorry, cherry juice was probably a bad idea, considering we were in such an obvious danger zone, Bo's message read. How about I make it up to you next Friday? I heard there's a funfair in town. I could shoot you a plushie for future protection from hazardous flying objects?
Lauren laughed out loud and her heart was jumping around in her chest.
Yay, funfair sounds fun!, she replied. Anxiously awaiting to witness your excellent shooting skills! ;)
Oh, I'll gladly demonstrate ALL my skills to you ;) See you Friday! xx
Lauren swallowed at the insinuated flirting.
Can't wait xx, she typed and continued drying her hair, while humming a happy melody, that weirdly had been stuck in her head for a few weeks now. Next Friday sounded like it could become the best day ever.