Chapter 22:
Early in the Saturday morning, Hikigaya is laying down on his bed with a lot of books scattered around near his head, a bump on his forehead and some nasty bags under his eyes.
Hikigaya really don't want to move but he to since his phone started to ring, and if it's ringing loudly, he won't be able to come back to bed.
He grabbed his phone and opened it, it's Yukipapa calling him!
"Wait, why do I have Yoichiro-san's number registered in my phone?" Hikigaya asked in shock.
Another one of his books fell into his forehead again.
"Ouch! Well anyways..."Hikigaya quickly answered the phone call.
"Yoichiro-san! Why do you have my number? And why call so early in the morning?" Hikigaya asked.
"Oh, I just got your number in a completely legal way, also on what time are you going to get Yukino?" Yukipapa asked.
"Oh right, the date... Can we please move it the next day? You see- Ouch!" Another book fell on Hikigaya's head.
"You see, my good luck ran out, I need to do something or the date would be a disaster! Don't kill me please!" Hikigaya pleaded while expecting Yukipapa to be angry, but he isn't!
"Ohh! I'll recommend going to our local shrine! They do wonders there! I'm sure they can help you!" Yukipapa is surprisingly considerate!
Another book fell on Hikigaya again.
"Woah, you're surprisingly considerate this time Yoichiro-san! Normally you would force me to be closer to your daughter" Hikigaya asked.
"Well, if what your saying is true, then you're a walking disaster right now, of course I won't let my daughter be near you hahaha" Yukipapa just said something so cruel in the most caring tone possible.
"Is that all? Bye!" Hikigaya quickly ended jumped sideways to evade the whole bookshelf falling to him!
THUD!
"Everything is falling around me! Both figuratively and litterally! Komachi is in danger as long as I'm in the same place as her!" Hikigaya shouted as he quickly grabbed some decent clothes and dressed himself.
Hikigaya is now wearing a simple white shirt and black pants and then proceeded to get out of his room.
The moment Hikigaya got out of his room, a knife flew straight for his head! But fortunately enough, he evaded it!
"Sorry Onii-chan! It slipped from my hands!" Said Komachi who came running after the knife wearing her usual blue track suit and a pink apron a top of it.
"How can that happen! The kitchen is so far away!" Hikigaya asked.
"The knife bounced from table to furniture then to wall, until it got here!" Komachi answered
"What?" Hikigaya asked in disbelief.
"OK, I'll make a restatement, I'll be the one in danger if I stay longer in this house with Komachi... Having zero luck is so scary!" Hikigaya thought.
Hikigaya started to move away from Komachi but just after the first step, he slipped and stumbled on the ground with the back of his head hitting the floor.
"Ghhaaaa! Why is the floor so slippery!?" Asked Hikigaya who is holding the part where his head hurts the most.
"I was sweeping the floor earlier, I guess I should have warned you tehee!" Komachi said a she pretended punch her head, stickied out her tongue and winked at her Onii-chan.
"Ok, also I am going out and I do not know when I will be coming back so don't let anyone not bearing the greatest family name that Hikigaya enter our sacred temple, got that Komachi!?" Hikigaya said as he recovers from his fall.
"Your going out on a weekend? Somethings fishy, Komachi can smell it Onii-chan! What are you up to? You aren't doing something crazy with your magic right?" Komachi started an interrogation.
Knowing that hiding something from his sister is almost impossible, Hikigaya confessed what kind of situation he is in.
"So,you have a date but can't go since of your terrible luck caused by a curse from a spirit you have summoned? Sounds like a YOU problem Onii-chan! I'm not getting payed enough Komachi points to deal with your magical shenanigans! But most importantly, who's the unlucky girl?" Komachi asked.
"This girl, you can be so evil sometimes you know? If you weren't cute I don't know what might happen to you" Hikigaya said as he rubbed Komachi's hair.
"Its a good thing I'm never uncute right?" Komachi said a she looked to her Onii-chan and asked again "So, who's the girl?"
"Unhh, you might not believe this, but I'm having a date with a Yukinoshita" Hikigaya said as he puffed out his chest with his hands on his waist, trying to look impressive to his little sister.
"Yukinoshita, isn't that the last name of the people who owned the limousine who hitted you?" Komachi asked out of concern.
"Yeah? What about it?" Hikigaya seems to don't care about it.
"Wow, I was expecting a more negative reaction" Komachi said.
"How can I be angry, that incident gave me this extreme powers! Well that incident also tossed me to a world filled with sadistic people... Now that you think about it, I have the power to exact revenge on them... But the Yukinoshita family is apparently has a strong connection with magic so I might lose against mana spell casters" Hikigaya is deep in his thoughts and is talking to himself again.
Komachi just smiles as she watches her Onii-chan and whispered to herself "Hm, Hm! Onii-chan's gonna be okay!" then proceeded to push her Onii-chan out of their house.
"Ok Onii-chan! Time for you to go!" She said as she push Hikigaya out of the door.
Time skip-
After climbing the long stairs up to the shrine and evading bird poop falling on him on his way up, Hikigaya is greeted by three shrine boys sweeping away fallen leaves with brooms at the top.
Hikigaya assumed fighting stance.
The three shrine boys were the gamer club trio that can transform into some mahou shounen! The chubby one Kyoji, the tall one Hirata, and the delinquent looking one and the leader of the three Ryugi!
The trio assumed fighting stance too!
"Why are you here bringer of bad luck?" Hirata asked.
"I need some good luck, a friend recommended this place" Hikigaya replied.
"And why would we help you?" Kyoji asked.
"Isn't that kinda your job? To help people?" Hikigaya answered back.
"Yeah,but you bring bad luck and defeated us! You're an enemy to us!" Ryugi said.
"I just need some good luck for a successful date OK?" Hikigaya said in slight frustration.
"Eh?" The trio said in unison.
They all looked at Hikigaya from top to bottom and then sigh.
"Yeah, this gotta be his first date and might be the last" said Hirata.
"You might be our enemy but we're not that evil to take your chances with a girl" said Kyoji.
"This way, follow us" the trio said as they walk towards the shrine.
The shrine was just your generic one, a medium sized structure with its bell and the box for offerings and a big red Japanese arc in front of it.
"You can see him right?" Ryugi asked Hikigaya.
"You mean that bald naked guy standing at the shrine's roof?" Hikigaya answered.
"That's god" Ryugi said.
"What? These is a guy all people pray to?" Hikigaya asked in shock.
"I mean he is the god of this shrine and our master not the almighty multi-dimensional god" Ryugi said back.
"Why is he naked?" Hikigaya asked.
"He said that the concept of clothes doesn't apply to him."Ryugi answered.
"Who is that guy? A new student for me?" the bald naked man asked as he look down upon the trio and Hikigaya.
"This is Hikigaya Hachiman, he is the one who defeated Hirata and Kyoji, Kounna-sama! He is here to seek for your help" Ryugi introduced Hikigaya.
Kounna, the bald and naked god suddenly became really muscular the moment he heared that it's Hikigaya who defeated two of his students.
The now muscular Kounna jumped down from the roof and created a small crater upon his landing.
His landing sent small shock waves to all directions.
Hikigaya took a fighting stance and locked his sight to the bald man but, the split second Hikigaya blinked his eyes, the bald God already closed the gap between them.
"And why would I help an enemy?" Kounna asked Hikigaya.
"Kounna-sama, he need some luck for his upcoming date!" Ryugi said.
Kounna looked at Hikigaya from top to bottom and said as if he had a realization "Hmmn, this is your first date and might be the last, and since I am a benevolent god, I will help you."
"Why do everyone always think that I only got lucky and this will be the last date I'll get in my life?" Hikigaya asked everyone but all of them ignored him.
Kounna shrunked in size and regained his natural form.
"You need luck huh? Hmmnnn, let me see... 50 years worth of luck was stolen from you?" Kounna asked in disbelief.
"Yes." Hikigaya quickly answered.
"How did this happen?" the god asked.
"I summoned a bad luck spirit to defeat your students, but the spirit cursed me instead" Hikigaya explained.
"I can easily return your stolen luck but after knowing the cause, I'll only give you 25 years of luck, the remaining 25 years of bad luck will be your punishment for summoning a really dangerous spirit" Kounna explained.
"But! If you want me to completely give you 50 years worth of luck, you'll have to beat me in a game!" Kounna shouted.
The shrine boy trio all face palmed.
"Hikigaya, please just take your 25 years worth of luck and leave." said Hirata.
"Yeah, you don't have to entertain him." said Kyoji.
"Please just go." said Ryugi.
"If these puts you all three in distress then I will do it!" Hikigaya said in a confident tone.
"Okay!" Kounna cheered.
"So? What's the game we're going to play?" Hikigaya asked Kounna.
"Were gonna pinch each other's nipples, and the one who screams that lasts for 5 seconds loses! Now take off your shirt!" Kounna explained.
"Eh?" Hikigaya can't believe this!
"You wanted this Hikigaya!" the shrine trio charged at Hikigaya and removed his white shirt.
Kounna quickly charged at Hikigaya.
Hikigaya quickly covered his nipples and this made Kounna angry.
"No! There's only one rule in this game and that is you can't cover your nipples! To defend, all you can do is to redirect the hands of your enemies!" Kounna explained.
"Ok...I still don't want to do this" Hikigaya said but took a fighting stance, ready to redirect attacks.
Kounna charged at Hikigaya again.
Kounna's left hand is going for Hikigaya's right nipple!
Hikigaya moved his right hand to block Kounna's left hand.
But Kounna's left hand attack is just a bait! Now all of Hikigaya's defense is in his right side and so Kounna used his right hand to pinch Hikigaya's left nipple!
Kounna's attack landed and he is now pinching Hikigaya's left nipple!
"GHAaa-" Hikigaya stopped his scream and is not defeated yet since his scream didn't last for 5 seconds!
"You're enduring this huh?" Kounna said as he tighted his pinch.
Hikigaya retaliated by attacking with his right hand but is immediately blocked and grabbed by Kounna's left hand rendering it useless!
But! Kounna's both hand are now occupied, one immobilizing Hikigaya's right hand and his left hand pinching Hikigaya's right nipple! On the other hand, Hikigaya has one hand free!
Kounna knew this and jumped back, letting go of Hikigaya's right nipple.
It's Hikigaya's turn to attack now!
Hikigaya charged at Kounna with both hands forward.
With magic, Hikigaya threw a fire ball at Kounna's face which he easily evaded but this gave Hikigaya some time to get really close to Kounna.
Hikigaya unleashed a barrage of attacks at Kounna but all of them are evaded!
"How are you evading all of my attacks?" Hikigaya asked.
"Well, there will be now difference even if you know so... I have clairvoyance! I can forsee all your moves!" Kounna boasted.
"Clairvoyance huh?" Hikigaya said to himself.
Hikigaya hatched an evil plan.
Hikigaya attacked with both of his hands at the same time!
Of course Kounna has foreseen this attacks and flawlessly blocked both of it, he even knows what Hikigaya's plan is but Hikigaya's plan is so foolproof Kounna can't seen any weakness to it!
With both of Kounna hand occupied blocking both of Hikigaya's hands, Hikigaya is free to execute his plan.
He used his knee to attack Kounna's exposed balls.
Let's just say is a manly instinct even though he know Hikigaya's plan, Kounna stopped blocking both of Hikigaya's hands to protect his balls.
But since Hikigaya is also a man, he really didn't attack Kounna's balls, its just a diversion, and now Hikigaya's hand are free to attack both of Kounna's nipples!
Hikigaya's plan is a success! He knows Kounna would protect his balls! Now he is both pinching Kounna's nipples!
"Ghaaa-" Kounna stopped his scream!
But now, both of Kounna's hands are free to attack Hikigaya too!
Now it became a battle of endurance!
Both of them are pinching both of their enemy's nipples!
But Kounna is in great disadvantage since Hikigaya has been pinching his nipples longer!
To gain an advantage, Kounna twisted Hikigaya's nipples!
"Ghhkkk!" Hikigaya stopped himself from screaming.
Hikigaya then used fire magic to heat up his fingers, burning Kounna's nipples!
Kounna knew this was coming but is too weak to move away.
The heat melted Kounna's tenacity and he screamed so loud his scream released shock waves to all directions, wreaking the whole shrine area.
Hikigaya won!
The trio face palmed again.
"There goes our hard work!" Ryugi complained.
"All of those tournament prices to make the shrine a better place, all of that has gone down in to the sink!" Hirata complained too.
"But I can't believe Hikigaya won against a God!" said Kyoji.
"Nah, Kounna-sama is holding back, it seems like he just want to play his horrible and horrifying game" said Ryugi.
"Ok! You won! I'll give you 50 years worth of luck!" Kounna said as he stood up and heal his and Hikigaya's nipples
Hikigaya got his luck and is now ready for his date!
And ever since then, the shrine trio has hated and respected Hikigaya more and gave him the title: The man who reached for the nipples but grabbed luck.
CHAPTER END-