7.31.22

Note: Riichi is a Jonin in canon, and Hibachi and Unagi are filler characters from episode 176.

Hibachi and Unagi weren't exactly friends—more like close acquaintances. They bonded as children over teasing Naruto at first, and then later that same year when they all entered the Academy, their bond was strengthened by pushing Kaiya around after her family's ruined reputation, and they continued to do so through graduation. Of course, they also bonded in the nurse's office when Kaiya beat them up.

They were standing about ten meters from her, scared to get any closer. If she mentioned it, they'd probably say something like they didn't want to catch a disease, or risk the chance of being stabbed in the back by a potential traitor—but she knew it was because they were afraid of her. And for good reason. They deserved every beating she had ever given them, and then some. Of course, Iruka and the Hokage didn't feel the same way she did. She was punished every time. But now, neither one of them was around.

The boys stared at Kaiya pointedly, and she could feel the weight of their glares on her, burning a hole through her back, but she did her best to ignore them. She was trying to make a good impression on their sensei by not immediately going in for the kill, but they were making it difficult. Her mind wandered to Sasuke and his new team, wondering if he was just as miserable as she was.

Her eye and nose twitched simultaneously. "A picture will last longer, idiots." She couldn't take it any longer. She knew they were only staring at her because they knew how much it bothered her. They were waiting for her to slip up and make herself look like a troublemaker in front of Riichi. She was sure he already knew about her behavior problems and had come up with his own perceptions about her, and she didn't want to make it worse for herself by proving him right. She didn't practice patience well, but by kami she was going to try.

"If you keep it up," she warned, "I'll kick both of your asses back into the Academy before Riichi-sensei comes back. Do you really want to die so soon after graduating?" Hibachi huffed.

"Yeah, right!" he laughed. "You're a girl, even if you don't look like one, and everyone knows girls can't fight. Sure, you can beat up a bunch of kids, but what can you do against a real shinobi? You suck at genjutsu and you barely know ninjutsu. You're only going to get in our way; maybe you should go back to the Academy yourself." Unagi nodded, his arms crossed.

"Yeah." A tick appeared in the corner of Kaiya's forehead suddenly. The sun glinted dangerously over her new headband, now tied securely over her forehead, casting an eerie shadow over her features.

They had apparently forgotten how many times they left the Academy covered in bandages because of her. Just because she hadn't beaten them senseless in the past few weeks, they had grown bold and, in Kaiya's opinion, stupider than before. They'd had protection thanks to Iruka, but now her probation was over. She didn't care what her new sensei did to her; she hoped he would transfer her to another team somehow, if she hurt them badly enough. Or maybe he could disqualify them as shinobi for being a couple of wussies. Clenching her fists, Kaiya turned to face them, determined to beat the respect back into the boys.

She cracked her knuckles and approached them slowly, a heavy air illuminating around her, crackling like lightning. Everything but the occasional chirping bird fell silent, as if they sensed the storm that was to come. Unagi grew uneasy, gulping as sweat trickled down his brow. He tasted bile in the back of his throat, like he might throw up any moment, and swallowed. He could smell the sharp scent of pine as Kaiya wallowed closer, seemingly in slow motion.

She always smelled like pine and fresh soil, probably because she was always around the trees in the training grounds, or perhaps she even lived in or around the forests of the village. It had become an unpleasant scent for her enemies over time. Her footsteps seemed to echo on the bank as her sandals crunched gravel and grass alike. Unagi's heart drummed against his ribcage, vibrating his chest, as if it wanted to escape the coming beating without the rest of him. His entire body trembled.

Both Hibachi and Unagi were aware of Kaiya's strength and anger. They weren't the only two kids she'd beaten up over the past few years. Anyone who upset her had to answer to her wrath. She wasn't merciful at all, except in the rare event she attacked a girl. She was usually docile and minded her own business, almost like she was in a separate world from the rest of them; she kept to herself and only had one or two acquaintances, and the rest of her classmates avoided her like the plague—that's the way it'd been for years. But when she lost her temper, all hell would break loose and the quiet, solemn Kaiya became a fierce, raging bull.

When she was pushed, especially when anyone mentioned her family, she retaliated without hesitation. And it was painful. She didn't care about getting in trouble, no matter how steep the consequences. Even weekly visits to the Hokage's office didn't deter her for long. The only reason Iruka was able to control her for the last few weeks was because she hated the Academy more than anyone she attended with and didn't want to ruin her chances of getting out. But now, she was free to start wreaking havoc once again.

There were few classmates Kaiya could tolerate, and even fewer that she liked. That same amount trusted her enough not to hate her like the rest of them. Unagi could count the number on one hand. But she hated Hibachi and Unagi and made them her primary targets of rage. Likewise, the two boys made it their mission to give her all the hell they could.

When they all started the Academy together, at age five, Kaiya was well-liked by her peers, just like the rest of her family. She was odd, but the others were ok with that. Her smile could light up a room, and she trusted everyone she met, even if they were bullies, like Ami. However, not even a year later, things changed, when her family attempted a coup on the village and were all killed and marked as traitors. Kaiya alone survived and was pronounced as an innocent bystander, ignorant of her family's schemes.

Ever since then, the number of people that cared for her or even found her trustworthy became less and less, until she was almost as disliked as Naruto. She'd grown quite rebellious and violent since then, although she used to be extremely friendly and pacifistic. A part of Unagi almost felt sorry for her and the hand she had been given, but then again, she wasn't that same meek child she was six years ago. She had become a monster.

"H-Hibachi, maybe you should apologize," Unagi whispered nervously, taking a few steps back. Hibachi huffed and shoved him even further behind him, standing tall as Kaiya closed in the gap between them. He prayed that neither one of his teammates noticed his legs shaking. Unagi fell to the ground and looked up at the two as they were about to clash. Hibachi straightened out his gray beanie, his dark eyes challenging Kaiya without fear.

"You're a chump, Unagi. If you can't even stand up to this loser, don't even bother standing up at all. There's no one around now, so I can fight back this time. I'll prove that Kaiya is nothing but—" Before he could finish his sentence, Kaiya appeared in front of him, her fist reared back. She punched him in the eye, sending him reeling into the lake with a big SPLASH!

Water flew up into the air, crashing onto the bank in a miniscule wave that crashed against the other two's feet. The remnants of the wave sprayed over them like a morning mist.

"Ugh!" Hibachi momentarily lost consciousness as he sank to the bottom of the shallow end of the lake. Unagi would have jumped in to help him, but he figured Hibachi deserved it for knocking him down and not heeding his warning.

By the time he resurfaced a few seconds later, Kaiya and Unagi were standing side-by-side, like nothing ever happened. They both stared at him with blank expressions, although Unagi could tell Kaiya was pleased with her actions. She hadn't beat up anyone lately, since Iruka threatened her; he was sure she was having withdrawals, and he was just happy she didn't throw him in next.

Hibachi spat out some water as he waded to the bank, breathing heavily as he struggled for air on all fours. He shivered from the cold water, drenched from head to toe; he touched his left eye, wincing as he felt the tenderness there. He looked up at Kaiya in disbelief, who had the slightest hint of a satisfied smile, mocking him silently, daring him to challenge her again. He growled, stumbling to his feet and stalking over to her angrily. With every step, his feet sloshed on the dirt, and he slipped a few times. Unagi held his breath.

It was true that the main reason Hibachi and Unagi never fought Kaiya was because she was a girl (at least they were almost sure she was), and they'd get in big trouble if they hit her. Kaiya got a little leeway, but they knew that if they'd retaliate, they would not. So Unagi had no idea who would really win in a fight between Hibachi and Kaiya at their angriest, and to be honest, he was scared to find out. Especially since he was caught in the middle.

"Grr…you're gonna pay for that, you bitch!" Hibachi shouted, waving his fist in the air threateningly, flicking thick droplets of water in every direction. Kaiya didn't move, not intimidated in the least. In fact, even though her expression was stoic, her pupils seemed to be beckoning him closer, so that she could even out his face by giving him another black eye. Her knuckles twitched, like they were itching to punch him again.

Now the only sound other than Hibachi's clumsy, sloppy steps and heavy breathing was Unagi's own heartbeat and the birds in the trees behind them. It almost sounded like they were gathering to watch the fight, filling the branches in the canopy like an audience. The seconds seemed to pass by slower and slower as he came closer. He took his time, working up his nerves, trying to hide the discomfort his fresh bruise and head injury gave him. There was no way Unagi was getting in the middle of this!

He backed away quickly, more urgently than before, holding up his hands in surrender. "W-wait, Hibachi. Calm down," Unagi implored, trying to keep his distance between him and his teammates. He figured there was no way he could keep Hibachi and Kaiya apart, so he didn't even try. He enjoyed his limbs being firmly attached to his body, and he had no plans to change that anytime soon. Hibachi just kept advancing toward Kaiya, who seemed nonchalant about the whole situation. Her dark, green pupils danced, unnerving Unagi further.

"Guys, we're a team now; we shouldn't be fighting like this. Don't do anything you'll regret."

"Oh, trust me, I won't," Kaiya muttered, cracking her knuckles. Her right hand was slightly red from hitting Hibachi so hard; if she hit him again with the same force, the skin would crack. Unagi believed her—she wouldn't regret killing Hibachi, and vice versa.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Unagi made a quick decision: Before he could change his mind, he jumped between the two hotheads, holding out his arms to try and stop Hibachi from coming any closer to Kaiya. It wasn't working. "Just—"

Hibachi once again shoved Unagi out of the way, tightening his fists as he stood over Kaiya menacingly, at least three inches taller than her. She frowned, standing up straight, daring him to do it. He gritted his teeth and swung. Kaiya's limbs tightened, preparing to dodge it and counter.

Unagi's, Hibachi's, and Kaiya's eyes widened as Hibachi's fist stopped in midair, an inch from Kaiya's face; Kaiya's knee had been caught just the same, right before colliding with Hibachi's gut. Someone had intervened in their fight, but it wasn't Unagi, who was currently cowering on the ground.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think teammates are supposed to be fighting each other." The three Genin stared in disbelief as their sensei, an average-heighted, well-built man in his early thirties, flashed in between them, stopping what would have no doubt escalated into a full-on brawl, with Unagi caught in the midst. Kaiya blinked in awe. So fast and strong…

Riichi had literally appeared out of thin air like it was no big deal, and he held his students apart as easily as he'd hold apart two doors. Kaiya hated him.

He was a brunette; his long bangs drooped over his forehead protector, proudly donning the Leaf symbol above his dark eyes. He was wearing the standard green Chunin/Jonin flak jacket and dark pants, just like any other basic ninja of the village. (Kaiya thought it was so tacky…like she'd ever be caught dead wearing that stupid jacket).

"Hello again," Riichi said in an upbeat tone that made her frown. There was something about it that Kaiya didn't like. Maybe it was the fact that she hated smiles in general. And she could tell that his gesture was fake. She had seen that smile many times in the past, all from the people she'd loved from birth: her parents and her siblings. Even someone dear to her would flash that same grin after he took his mask off; he'd seem calm and cheerful on the outside, but he was actually upset. She just got the same feeling when she looked at this guy.

Riichi lowered Hibachi's arm and Kaiya's knee simultaneously and took a step back, placing his hands on his hips. He was still wearing that ridiculous grin as he said, "From today onward, I am your sensei, Riichi. And before anything else, let's get one thing clear."

He paused, his eyes narrowing slowly. A cloud passed in front of the sun above them, casting a stark shadow over the Jonin's face, making him appear even creepier to his students as his grin faded. "There will be no more fighting on this team, or else I'll kill all of you."

Unagi paled, gulping at their sensei's gusto-turned-psycho persona. He didn't doubt for a moment that Riichi was capable of annihilating them without breaking a sweat. Hibachi scoffed and rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms. Jonin are always acting cool, he thought bitterly. Man, I get Kaiya and this dweeb on my team? This is the worst.

"Are…are you allowed to say that?" Kaiya wondered. She stared at Riichi, suspicious. She didn't like most authority figures for this reason. They always flashed their superiority in her face to control her. There was no way in hell that she was going to put up with this man's bullshit, or anyone else's on her team, for that matter. She clenched her fists and counted to ten in her head slowly.

Riichi studied the faces of his students meticulously, scratching his head in confusion. The clouds above suddenly scattered, and it was sunny again.

"What's with you guys?" he asked, as if he'd forgotten what he'd just told them moments ago. "Is there something on my face?" He started pressing his hands against his cheeks, forehead, and chin frantically, his deep, brown eyes dancing in the sunlight. His mood seemed to completely change, going from overly cheery to threatening to completely goofy, and Kaiya couldn't tell if it was on purpose or if he was just a complete idiot with multiple personalities. She just sighed, shaking her head. She had a feeling she was going to lose her mind, just like him.

Riichi straightened up. "Anyway, let's get this over with. I brought you out here to do a little get-to-know-your-team bonding. Even though I have no desire to know any of you personally." The three preteens' jaws slacked. Riichi grinned and handed each of them a log that had been cut in half. He pointed to the water behind them.

"Let's get into the water; just sit on the logs." He glanced at Hibachi, who was still soaking wet, dripping from head to toe. His eyebrows lifted in question before he scratched his head again. "Well, it looks like you got a little impatient and decided to get into the water before I got back," Riichi pointed out, pouting. "And…did you have that black eye a few minutes ago?"

Unagi and Kaiya stifled a laugh as Hibachi scowled, glaring over at his female teammate. She glared back, looking him straight in the [black] eye without remorse.

"What kind of first impression are you trying to make?" Hibachi snapped at Riichi, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arms in frustration. Kaiya and Unagi agreed with him, but they neglected to voice their opinions (Kaiya would jump off a bridge before she admitted she agreed with that bastard)—besides, they were still trying not to laugh.

Riichi rubbed his neck, giving his new team a nervous laugh. I could ask you the same question, you little punk, he thought, irritated. But if he said that out loud, he would be in even more trouble with his superiors than he already was. The Hokage had eyes and ears everywhere.

Hibachi snatched a log out of Riichi's hand and threw it in the water, striding into the lake and clambering on top of it. He lost his balance almost immediately and the log tipped over, dropping him into the lake once again. He disappeared under the water, angry bubbles sprouting to the surface; his head popped up a second later. He spit out a minnow, recoiling at the slimy texture and swampy taste.

By this time, Unagi and Kaiya could no longer keep in their chortles. Holding her stomach, Kaiya doubled over, shoulders shaking as her cackles echoed throughout the training ground. Unagi was rolling around in the grass, tears in his eyes as his laughs squeezed almost every inch of air from his lungs. Hibachi was hilariously red; his face was so hot the water evaporated from his cheeks. Kaiya turned to see Riichi's reaction, and he only stared at Hibachi with an Is this kid for real? expression on his face. It made her laugh even harder.

Once Unagi and Kaiya had laughed all they could, they calmed down and placed their own logs in the water and carefully climbed on top of them, making sure that they were in the shallowest part of the lake before they did so. Then they paddled out to the middle, where Hibachi was waiting, shivering from the breeze that blew past them, plastering his drenched clothes even further onto his body.

Kaiya was tempted to laugh again, but she didn't want her ribs to keep hurting from doing so. It was rare that she smiled or laughed genuinely, and she wasn't used to the feeling. "Where's your log, Sensei?" she wondered, finally noticing that Riichi hadn't brought a log for himself. Instead of replying, Riichi simply stepped from the bank onto the water towards his reluctant students, like he was walking on solid ground.

Kaiya was annoyed at his arrogance, but she had to admit, that was impressive.

…

"So, this is a get-to-know-your-team gathering," Riichi said, now sitting on top of the water like it was carpet. Kaiya wondered why she never saw anyone do this before. Riichi seemed pretty lame, and she knew shinobi that were no doubt much stronger than him, and yet this was the first time she'd seen such a marvel. She wanted to learn this technique right away.

She tried to focus on the cool, serene feeling of the water around her legs, wondering what it would be like to walk on top of it, but it was hard to do so with the people she was surrounded by. While they sat, Unagi currently had his index finger twisted in his ear, while Hibachi had a finger up his nose, both holding bored expressions; Riichi was curiously digging dirt from underneath his fingernails with a kunai. At one point, he decided to taste the contents he'd scraped out, licking the sharp knife skeptically with his tongue before recoiling in disgust and spitting it out forthwith. Kaiya rolled her eyes, barely resisting the urge to drown herself. Honestly, what did he expect when he did that?

I'm surrounded by a bunch of weirdos. I guess this is what I get for jinxing Sasuke before. This sucks major ass.

Finally, Riichi looked up, ready to get back to business. He still wore the sour look on his face, but Kaiya wondered if it was because of the lingering taste in his mouth or because of his disgust toward them. He cleared his throat, gathering his team's attention once again.

"Anyway, I'll cut to the chase: I really hate you guys, and I only just met you. Even without meeting the other graduates, I can tell that you three make up the worst team possible that the Hokage could have put together—I've read your files—and I'd complain about it if I could, but we're stuck with each other for the time being." Kaiya's jaw dropped at the audacity he had to say such a thing. She was too shocked to say anything. "It's clear that the rest of you don't like each other either, so take my advice: Get as strong as you can as fast as you can and become Chunin. Then, you'll be out of each other's hair. Otherwise, you'll just get each other killed."

"And how exactly do we become Chunin?" Unagi asked, skeptical. Riichi sighed, running his fingers through his lengthy hair in frustration.

"You'll learn about that soon enough," he replied, scratching his cheek. "The point is, you've got to be successful as a team if you want to get that far. And just in case you boneheads haven't figured this out already, teams have to have chemistry in order to function. If you don't know each other—strengths and weaknesses, fighting patterns and preferences, habits and thought processes—there is no chemistry. You're just three separate people standing side-by-side." Unagi raised an eyebrow, confused; Kaiya's brows furrowed.

"But Sensei, that is a team, isn't it?" Unagi pointed out, belligerent. Frowning, Riichi shook his head.

"Wrong, Four Eyes. That just shows how ignorant and weak you really are." Unagi pouted; Hibachi and Kaiya snickered. "That way of thinking will only get you killed sooner. I'll break it down for you dimwits, so listen up." He held up a finger matter-of-factly. "A typical squad is supposed to be three—or four, including the leader—people working as one unit for a specific goal, to complete a mission. But just agreeing to be a team doesn't make you a team, understand?"

They stared at him in silence, neglecting to answer. He took it as a 'yes.'

"You won't accomplish anything unless you learn how to work together. Teams whose members don't have chemistry…well, they die–and fairly quickly, I might add. And as unfortunate as it is, my job is to keep you three alive until you're Chunin. That means the fighting amongst each other has to stop, and we have to learn how to get along."

Hibachi rolled his eyes; his arms were crossed. He bellowed, "Bah. All this sounds like that stupid mushy stuff I always hear from girls! Why do we have to get along if we hate each other? Sounds like a bunch of sissy crap to me. That's not what bein' a ninja is about!"

Kaiya nodded in agreement with him, annoying as it was. She hated that touchy-feely stuff of connecting with others and working together, more than most people. It made her sick. She had already made the mistake too many times of trusting someone to leave her life in their hands, and she promised herself she wouldn't make a habit of it again.

Riichi's eyebrow twitched. He turned his attention to the oldest—and loudest—of the three. "Listen, I know it sounds lame, but it's true." He sighed, wiggling his finger around. "And as it stands, I'm the Jonin, and you're the recent graduate," he reminded him, making the boy frown. "When you've gone through the life experiences that I have and still come out thinking that way, then maybe I'll consider your opinion; but for now, what you say is irrelevant. To be honest, I'd rather be at home sleeping than here with you three idiots explaining such simple things, but I don't have a choice."

A sweat drop slid down each of their heads as Riichi massaged the bridge of his nose. It was so early, and yet he already had a massive migraine. He took a moment to study his team, groaning as he thought to himself that they weren't going to last two days. Even he could read them plain as day—they were as divided as the earth and sky.

"Have you ever been so close with someone that you can basically read each other's thoughts and movements without speaking? No words between you, yet you can clearly understand what the other one is saying and feeling? You recognize their footsteps even if you can't see them; you feel their presence when they're near. You can even sense when they're in trouble from far away. You know them so well, in and out, that you can almost predict what they're going to do and act accordingly. It's like you share a body, soul, and mind."

Kaiya's eyes lowered as she thought about what her sensei had just said. This is just a bunch of nonsense. How could it be possible to share so much intimacy with another person? How can anyone tell what someone else is thinking?

She thought about Sasuke and what he'd told her just a few weeks prior. "You're an open book. It's not difficult to tell when you're angry, or sad, or scared. It's because you give everything away. It's all in your eyes. You can disguise your appearance, lie to yourself and others. But your eyes never lie." She frowned. Was it possible that Sasuke…?

Riichi waited patiently for a response. He could tell by Kaiya's reaction that she didn't exactly know what he was talking about—or more so, she didn't believe it. Well, he didn't figure any of them did. But there was something about her face in particular that made him think she longed for that kind of connection, skeptical as she was. Someone to understand her, someone she could trust at last. He knew about her—the youngest of a family of traitors, left in the dark of their schemes her entire life, unloved and abandoned by every one of them.

Her parents, civilians, were cherished by the village and held in high esteem. Her siblings were talented and popular too. And then their secrets were exposed, and the ANBU took them out in an ambush at their own home. Kaiya was left alone, untrusted by the villagers who once adored her. Over time, her heart grew cold and she became bitter, neglecting to have no more than a handful of bonds that you could count on a single hand, and even those were hanging by thin threads. She had grown wary of anyone showing her love, only to have them betray her in the end. Riichi could only imagine how difficult it would be to walk in her sandals.

Oh well, he thought with a shrug. Life goes on.

After a few seconds of letting his words sink in, he continued, knowing they weren't going to give him an answer out loud. "Well, it's possible, kiddies," he assured them, "and that's what I want for Team 11. I want your synergy to be so good that you start finishing each other's sentences." Kaiya gagged at the thought; Hibachi made a sour face; Unagi just stared at Riichi in disbelief. "You're all gonna be best friends; I can feel it."

Kaiya couldn't see herself being that well in sync with ANYONE, especially the likes of the males around her. I'd rather have my tongue ripped out and be strangled with it, she thought bitterly, her upper lip curling into a scowl.

Ignoring their discontent, Riichi moved on. His migraine was getting worse, and he had a feeling the cause was imagining all the effort he'd have to pour into the three nitwits in front of him just to see that they survived D-rank missions. He'd much rather be on a beach soaking up the sun than be their sensei, but he didn't have a say in the matter.

"It's essential that you put whatever petty dislikes you have for one another aside and get along from now on," he said, his gaze scanning over each of them. They looked down to avoid eye contact. "It's imperative that you communicate transparently on the battlefield. Making each other the enemy when you're already surrounded by adversaries is dangerous for everyone on the team, and it's also dangerous—not to mention shameful—for your village."

He eyed Kaiya and Hibachi, making them blush in embarrassment. They looked away again. "Shinobi are required to make the most sacrificial decisions in order to complete a mission, save a comrade, or protect our land and our village in times of conflict. In other words, sacrifice your own pride and make amends with each other now, while you have the chance. Otherwise, you'll all die. Sooner rather than later." Riichi grinned cheekily.

This guy…I don't think he's exactly cut out for this job, Unagi figured nervously. He cleared his throat, staring at his sensei questionably. Kaiya and Hibachi shared a reluctant guilty look, quickly turning back to Riichi. They gulped; he smirked.

This is gonna be entertaining—at least for me. And if they die—which they totally will—no one can say I didn't warn them.

Once his speech was over (which he had spent all night preparing), Riichi crossed his arms and let out a relieved sigh. "With that being said, how about we introduce ourselves? Don't be afraid to get extra personal." Although he wasn't exactly enthusiastic about doing so, he put on a smile to try and motivate them, since all they were giving him was blank stares. His eye twitched in annoyance, but he believed he played it off well, and he didn't get a response to that, either. He pointed to the first kid. "Let's start with you, Four Eyes. Tell us about yourself." Unagi blinked in question, pouting.

"Uh…" He blushed and scratched his head, not sure how to start off. After a few seconds of trying not to roll his eyes, Riichi sighed again, shaking his head. Honestly, how difficult was this? Was he given a team of monkeys or something? Stupid disciplinary system…the Hokage sure can be a cruel bastard sometimes.

"Ok, looks like I'll have to go first." He let out a dramatic breath as he rubbed his temples thoroughly. My work is definitely cut out for me. He looked up. "Let's see…you know my name already. Well, I like swimming and hiking, and I'd rather be doing either of those things than what I'm doing right now…actually, I'd rather be doing anything else," he said, staring up at the sky wistfully.

"But I have to be here—against my will—so I suppose there's no use in complaining about it." The kids gave him quizzical stares, but he ignored them. "I love dango and sake." He tapped his chin as he continued, his mouth watering at the thought. "I hate doing paperwork and reading. I also hate blood—oh, and kids." He paused. "One goal I have for the future is to get rid of you three and go back to assignments where I don't have to babysit. See, that was easy, right? Just say whatever is on your mind; be sure to include at least one goal you have for the future. That makes it interesting."

Sweat drops slid behind the kids' heads.

Unagi looked around, pulling on his collar nervously. Seriously, why is he so anxious? Riichi wondered. He grew up with these two kids, damn it! How hard is it to talk in front of them? For a peaceful old man, Lord Hokage sure knows how to administer cruel and unusual punishment!

The more time passed, the more awkward Unagi seemed to get with his new team. He just realized just how little the others knew about him, and vice versa; he didn't want to be judged on his likes or dislikes or dreams and goals. Especially by Hibachi.

The sun began to rise higher in the sky, and everything warmed around them. Kaiya tapped her fingers on the log, wincing when she felt a splinter jab her index finger. Cursing under her breath, she glared at Unagi, wondering what was taking him so long. They've known each other for seven years! All he had to do was tell them one or two things about himself. What was the big deal?

I wonder if I'm allowed to trade places with someone on another team, Unagi thought, swallowing a lump in his throat the size of a lemon. Maybe one with a sensei who hasn't lost his mind, and teammates who don't want to kill each other.

"Get on with it already!" Kaiya and Hibachi screamed simultaneously. Their faces were flustered with exasperation as their patience had worn thin (Kaiya's was thin enough to begin with). Her nostrils flared like a bull about to take charge and she cracked her knuckles; Unagi paled at the sight of her.

He coughed. "R-right." It was about damn time! Kaiya thought. "Ok, uh…you know my name…um, my parents own a couple of sweet shops in the village, and they aren't shinobi. I like reading manga and learning new things. And I like…" He glanced over at Hibachi for a moment, then gulped. "I like when Hibachi plays tricks on Naruto. It's hilarious." He laughed at the thought, and his nervousness dissipated. "That guy's an idiot and falls for them every time." Kaiya's eyes lowered, and she clenched the worn hem of her black tank top tightly. She was itching to give Unagi a punch to the face so that he and Hibachi could match black eyes.

Kaiya didn't care for Naruto. In fact, she found him just as annoying as everyone else did–well, she felt that way about most people–and she agreed that he was a complete idiot. But she didn't hate him. People were cruel to him for no reason, and they treated him like he was some kind of monster. Kaiya didn't know why they didn't just let him be and mind their own business; it wasn't that hard. She was also ostracized by the village, but not to his level. There was at least rationale behind them treating her like she didn't belong among them. They hated Naruto Uzumaki for no reason at all.

Kaiya didn't care whether or not she was supposed to get along with these two. They loved bullying other people and believed they were better than everyone else. Even Unagi, who seemed timid at first glance, had a maliciousness about him that you could only see if you stood next to him long enough—especially if Hibachi was there. For some odd reason, he tried to impress the older boy, but Kaiya knew Hibachi just needed a follower. She doubted they knew much about each other, despite how often they were together.

She wanted to beat the crap out of them. They were assholes; they always had been, and they always would be. She tensed, her knuckles pale from clenching her fists so hard. Riichi shot her a warning glance, and she froze. Despite herself and the need to defy authority whenever possible, she reluctantly relaxed and refrained from jumping off her log and drowning all three males. Hibachi, seeing that she was powerless to retaliate once again, laughed. Kaiya glowered and promised herself that the first chance she got she was going to use him as a punching bag until her knuckles bled.

"I dislike the cold and speaking in public, but I dislike Kaiya the most," Unagi continued, glaring at her on his left. His dark eyes sparkled with malice. Her blood boiled, and she wished she knew a water-natured jutsu so she could attack him right there. "She's a traitor, just like the others. I don't care if they say she's innocent…that's probably just what her parents want, so that when we all let our guards down, she'll finish what they started."

That was the last straw.

Kaiya only saw red; an unquenchable fire burned in her irises as she leapt from a sitting position to standing, balancing as best she could on the flimsy wood floating above the surface, ignoring the fact that she was shifting and her ankles were sinking into the water as it caved underneath her weight. She clenched her hands into fists and tackled Unagi on his own log, making him cry out as they sunk hip-deep, shoving the log completely underneath the surface.

She gave him a hard hook to the ribs, knocking the breath out of him and probably bruising his ribcage, but before she could do more damage—such as holding his head beneath the water until his lungs burst—she was picked up and restrained by their sensei. Gritting her teeth as she struggled against his strong hold, she cursed at him, screaming for him to let her go. He had a grip of iron that reminded her of that instance, six years ago, when she was grabbed from behind by someone much stronger than her and was helpless to defend herself. She began to panic, those memories surfacing like the now-broken log Unagi had been sitting on moments ago.

"Let me go, bastard! Let me go!" Her voice turned frantic, only for a moment.

"That's enough!" Riichi shouted, his voice surprisingly assertive. It shocked the three Genin so much that they instantly quieted down. Kaiya's body went slack, her eyes wide. "Didn't I tell you there would be no more fighting on this team?" They didn't answer, cowering under his piercing gaze. "If this is how you're going to act, I should just kill you all right here and now to save myself the trouble later on."

He took a deep breath, his shoulders slowly easing. Once he was certain Kaiya had calmed down, he set her back on her log and continued to stand over his team like a giant. They waited for him to speak again. "Alright, let's keep this going." He pointed to Hibachi. There was no point in lashing out any further. He didn't have the energy for it. "You—Cyclops—you're next. And no funny business this time." He shot an irritated glare at Unagi, who blushed with a mixture of embarrassment and shame.

Hibachi's ears turned bright red, but after the authority Riichi had just displayed, there was no way he was reacting to the insult. He pointed to himself proudly with his thumbs. "I'm Hibachi." Riichi's eyebrows furrowed. These two shitheads' names are making me hungry. I hope the pace picks up soon. "I'm the strongest Genin you'll ever see. I'm also the most interesting person you'll ever meet, so count yourself lucky I was put on your team." Riichi rolled his eyes. Yeah, right. About as strong as a two-legged horse and as interesting as the scum on the bottom of my sandal.

"I love playing pranks on that loser Naruto, and I love making Kaiya angry, because it's so easy. The reason she gets so mad is because she knows what everyone says is true. She just doesn't want to admit it, because then she'll have to admit that—" Kaiya gritted her teeth, her eyes darkening so much they appeared brown in the sunlight. Her face was twisted in an ugly snarl that rivaled a pissed-off wolf, and they all knew it took every ounce of self-control in her body to keep from jumping him like she had Unagi. The water around her log seemed to boil with her anger.

Hibachi froze, dropping his sentence faster than he'd drop a dumpling straight out of the oven. Riichi's shoulders tensed again, and he prepared himself to stop Kaiya again before she dismembered her team.

But she didn't move a muscle.

They waited for several seconds with baited breath, but Kaiya never budged. When his heart rate had finally returned to normal, Hibachi continued, clearing his throat. "Anyway, I like sparring because I get to beat people up without getting in trouble," he stated smugly. Riichi wanted to snort. He'd read his file, and taijutsu was his lowest mark. "And I love fried dumplings and sweet bean jam; they're my favorite foods in the whole world. I hate Kaiya of course, but I don't have to say why, because everyone hates her for the same reasons." He eyed her carefully in case she moved to attack him. She might be waiting until everyone let down their guard so she could move in for the kill without interruption this time. "And I hate chores and doing anything for someone else without repayment."

Riichi stared at Hibachi in disbelief. He wanted to go back to A- and S-ranked missions, where the atmosphere was a lot less hostile.

He didn't want to admit how alike they were, as he did not like doing things for others or doing chores at all. And he did enjoy beating people up, now that he thought about it. But unfortunately, he couldn't beat up his own team, as much as he wanted to—at least not today. They could use a good beatdown. He hated that he related to Hibachi in some way. And because of that, Riichi knew he'd have to play all the cards in his hand—in every hand—if these three were going to survive past tomorrow. And according to the Hokage, if they didn't survive, neither would he. Damn you, community service.

Although, if they just killed each other, it might count as a loophole.

Riichi had the feeling the Third Hokage assigned these three to him on purpose, just to give him a hell of a time being reinstated into active duty. He gave him the hardest possible combination of Genin in order to punish him to the greatest extent he could think of. It wasn't just punishment—it was payback, he was sure of it. That senile old man… Rather than give him an easy way out and have Ibiki torture him to death, Sarutobi decided to prolong his suffering by making him a sensei to three tiny, raging beasts.

He wanted to just interject and tell them that they were hopeless idiots who would definitely die soon, so there was no point in any of this—and to point out Hibachi's black eye as evidence that he clearly wasn't the strongest—but he figured the next day would be the best medicine to cure them of their dissent towards one another and teach them a little teamwork. Or kill them. Either one was fine with him, really.

Riichi massaged the bridge of his nose. "Ok, Angry Girl, you're up," he said. Her name was Kaiya Kimura—that name he had heard plenty of times over the past few years—but Riichi felt Angry Girl suited her better. She shot him an annoyed glare but didn't pounce at him like he expected.

Damn Sarutobi for putting me on this team, Kaiya thought begrudgingly, glaring at her sensei with a deep frown. She figured she was being punished for all those times she ended up in his office, escorted by Iruka or an ANBU guard. He definitely got the last laugh.

Kaiya didn't want to open up or be vulnerable with anybody, least of all these three. But she had to give them something. "I like cooking and taking long walks at night, and watching the sunset and stars, and anything that counts as physical training. Like beating up a few sissy jerks." She eyed Hibachi and Unagi pointedly, as if she were thinking of giving them a demonstration, and the two boys quickly averted their eyes to the side. "My favorite foods are onigiri and dangojiru, but I hate calamari." She thought that would suffice, but Riichi didn't look satisfied. His eyebrows furrowed as he silently urged her to say more. She sighed, slumping her shoulders.

"I'd like to travel the world someday and find a place that I…" Her sentence faded before she could finish it. She didn't want Hibachi and Unagi to know this part of her, to fuel their teasing further. I want to find a place I belong, she told herself, biting her lip as she delved on her impossible dream in her mind. There had to be somewhere out in the world that accepted her. Someone out there had to care about her.

Kaiya stared at her reflection in the water, surprised at her coy expression; she could feel the heat of embarrassment prickling her cheeks. Her eyes glossed over as she dreamed of what it was like beyond the forests of Konoha, beyond the shadow her family left her in, where no one knew her name or what her parents did. Where she didn't have to live in a cage like an animal. Someday, she promised herself, the dreaming look fading from her eyes.

"I dislike bullies, liars, and people who don't honor their bonds by betraying them. And I hate the color pink." Riichi's eyes lowered, but no one noticed. Kaiya's hands shook, so she clenched them into fists to make them stop. They all knew she was referring to her family, but what they didn't know is that she had a couple of other people on her mind as well. But there were very few people who knew about them, and she made a vow never to speak about them unless she found it necessary. She could count on one hand the number of people who knew about her past relationships.

Mostly because the majority of the ones who did know were dead now.

It was obvious that Kaiya was done and wouldn't be saying anything further. Riichi didn't think it was right to push her, especially since she was doing her best to hold back her emotions. Whether she was on the verge of tears or committing homicide—well, he wasn't exactly sure. But he didn't want to find out, either. Nobody said anything or moved for what seemed like an eternity.

Hibachi groaned after a couple of minutes, breaking the silence. "Enough already!" he barked, throwing up his hands in frustration. "When are we going to do something? I'm ready for ninja stuff." Riichi smiled wryly at his declaration. Kaiya could tell he had something in mind already, but she didn't have a good feeling about it.

"Ninja stuff, huh?" the older man repeated thoughtfully, tapping his chin as he stared at the clear, blue sky above them. A few birds flew by, chirping loudly. "Well, there is actually a very important task I have for the three of you. In fact, there's enough that each of you will get to work individually. But that all depends on if you're ready for it." Hibachi's eyes gleamed. Even Kaiya gave him her full attention.

"Really, Sensei?! What is it?" Riichi chuckled as he shrugged nonchalantly.

"I'm eager to see what the three of you can do as individuals, although I'm still not sure you'll be up to the task." Kaiya was skeptical. It was hard for her to trust anyone's words, especially someone she just met. By now, she'd learned the facial expressions and voice changes of someone who was lying or hiding something. Her nose twitched. Riichi literally reeked of lies at that moment. She'd been excited at first, when he mentioned individual tasks, because that's what she preferred and excelled in. But the more he talked, the more Riichi's words became suspicious.

Kaiya's eyes lowered as she touched her chest absentmindedly, where a heavy pendant rested against her sternum. Riichi was still hard to figure out, so she honestly didn't know what to think. In the end, she decided to go along with it and see where it went. It's not like she had a choice in the matter, anyway. Unagi jumped to his feet, forgetting he was on a log in the middle of a lake. He fell in, floating back to the surface a few seconds later, unfazed. Hibachi and Kaiya were too preoccupied to laugh.

"O-of course we're up to it!" Unagi assured their sensei, spitting out a mouthful of water. The Jonin sighed, seemingly defeated.

"Well, alright, if you're sure," he decided, a little too easily. "Why not? Let's get started." If this is some sort of trick, I'm going to rip this guy's head off. Kaiya had to admit, despite her frustration, that part of her was excited about what he had in mind. She didn't show it, but she was just as elated as the boys. She was eager to see what a real ninja did on a daily basis.

"Oh boy!" Hibachi rubbed his palms together excitedly, squeezing his eyes shut, shimmering with exhilaration. "Our first mission! I bet we're going to do something really awesome!"