"This isn't what I had in mind," Hibachi grumbled, as he grasped a cat in his arms, who was struggling to break free of his grip. He'd already received several scratches from the mangy beast, some of which were still bleeding. They burned him like fire, and the pain was evident on his face, despite his failed attempts to mask it. It was the only thing that made this ninja stuff worthwhile to Kaiya. Riichi couldn't help but laugh; she was snickering too, folding up the last of the three loads of laundry she'd just finished.
"You just graduated the Academy…what did you expect—a mission to capture a rogue ninja or something?" Riichi teased. Hibachi tensed, gritting his teeth as he glared at the older man sourly. "Genin are assigned D- and C-ranked missions only, kid. Don't think you're going to be doing any heavy lifting any time soon. You've got a long way to go. If you can't handle a kitten, you won't be able to handle a real ninja." Kaiya let out a frustrated sigh. She felt the same way Hibachi did. She was itching to do something other than household chores.
It was her turn to complain. "I've been doing disgusting laundry all day, Riichi-sensei. Whose underwear is this anyway? It's disgusting! And Hibachi had to chase a demonic cat through the entire village, and Unagi is raking leaves out of some old lady's front yard. I don't think the other teams are doing this! I'm sure they're at least training right now." Riichi picked his nose, giving her an apathetic stare. A sweat drop slid down the back of her head. She sighed again and turned around, muttering, "This guy is out of his mind." Apparently, her sensei had outstanding hearing. He loomed over her like a shadow of death, a creepy grin on his face yet again.
"I just might be, Kaiya," he cooed, sending shivers down her spine, like hundreds of spiders were crawling all over her back. She shuddered. "I just might be." She paled, sweat beading her forehead. Riichi had to be the worst teacher in existence, even more than Iruka.
When all the chores were done, Team 11 gathered together in front of the Academy. The sun was sitting low in the sky now, casting a wealth of colors on the horizon. Kaiya wished she could enjoy it, but she smelled like moldy socks. Her nose twitched in agitation.
"Sensei, was there a point to all this?" Unagi wondered, hauling a giant, black trash bag stuffed with dead, dry leaves behind him. "We've been slaving away all day, but what does any of this have to do with being a ninja? Was this really a mission? Anyone could do this stuff." Riichi shook his head, then tapped his chin in thought. Kaiya's eyebrows furrowed in question, wondering what kind of ridiculous reply he was going to give them.
"Mission? Well, that's one way to put it, I guess," he said. "If you want a point for what you've just done then, let's see…" Riichi racked his brain to come up with a plausible answer. Kaiya began to understand how she witnessed steam coming out of Ino's ears the other day. Hers were as red and hot as a pepper, threatening to boil her brain. "Well, the cat chasing teaches stamina–which, you have none; the laundry teaches patience and order–which, you have none; and the raking leaves teaches determination–which, of course, you have none. So, if you didn't learn anything today, it's because you lack in those areas." He puffed out his chest, his hands on his hips heroically, as if he'd created a great proverb.
"And I don't think just anyone could do this stuff. I mean, Fluffy here could pass as a ninja cat. He's so quick and fierce! Just look at what he did to Hibachi's face—aside from the black eye Kaiya gave him." Kaiya's thirteen-year-old nemesis frowned, still holding Fluffy the Demon Cat captive. She stifled a laugh. "Not to mention that laundry was so dirty it was starting to develop its own personality, and those leaves were endless. Most people would have given up on these jobs long before they were finished. Give yourselves a pat on the back." Unagi frowned, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose in irritation.
"Anyway, just think of this day as preparation for your survival test tomorrow," Riichi added casually. "Since, as I said, you're lacking in all those areas, and it might just prove fatal." All three kids shared a look, turning back to their sensei in confusion (which they seemed to be doing a lot of).
"Survival test?" Hibachi repeated, indignant. "What survival test?!" He was so angry he almost loosened his grip on Fluffy. The cat squirmed in his grasp, scratching his arms with his back claws in an attempt to escape his captor. He screamed like tiny needles were ripping through his flesh, but he managed to tighten his hold on the feline. There's no way I'm chasing this demon down again, he thought desperately. Riichi tapped his chin again, frowning.
"Oh, I didn't tell you? Hmm…must have slipped my mind." Kaiya frowned, letting out yet another frustrated sigh. She was about three seconds away from wringing his neck and forcing the Old Man to give them a new sensei—one that wasn't defective. Well, she figured she might as well kill Hibachi and Unagi and request new teammates too, while she was at it. They were defective, too.
"To put it simply, the three of you will go up against me in a test to see if you're really Genin material," Riichi explained. Kaiya glared at him heatedly, making him slightly uncomfortable and a little fearful. She reminds me of my mother…that lady's scary. Fluffy violently thrashed in Hibachi's arms, in a last attempt at freedom; he could sense the tension radiating in the air as Kaiya suddenly wrapped her hands around Riichi's muscled throat. He gagged, biting his tongue.
"Gack!" Can a Genin really be this fast?!
"I thought we were already Genin!" she protested as she shook him by the jugular, her face turning red from anger. Riichi started turning blue, but Kaiya let go before he passed out. He desperately sucked in a big gulp of air, wheezing, his hands on his knees. Catching his breath, he coughed and chuckled nervously, shaking his head. He tenderly felt his throat to make sure it was still intact. I actually feel sorry for Hibachi now, he thought. How the hell does the Third Hokage put up with this chick?
He did his best to gain his composure, praying that his facial expression didn't give away his fear.
"You were misinformed, Kaiya," he told her breathlessly, still doubled over. Sweat dripped down his brow. "Don't you know anything? Well, of course you don't; you're all greenhorns." At the dangerous glint in Kaiya's eyes, Riichi quickly added, "Graduating the Academy was only to see if you showed any promise in becoming a potential ninja. Only twelve out of your class will actually go on to become Genin. Consider yourselves lucky, since it's usually only nine, but the Hokage made an exception for you guys, because he thinks there's more potential here than normal."
But what does that old geezer know? He's well past his prime. These kids are idiots, he thought, his eyebrows creasing slightly. Bending the rules just for someone like her, who doesn't even know what she is. He considered saying this out loud, but he didn't want to be choked again.
"The others will be sent back to the Academy for a second term. Which means that you'd better pass the test, or you're going to have to go back and start all over again. You'll look weak in front of the Third Hokage, who made an exception for you." Riichi straightened up and chuckled darkly as storm clouds dramatically settled over him. Kaiya paled, and he could tell by her expression that the Academy was the last place she wanted to be.
"Hold on…" Unagi scratched his head—a habit of his, Riichi noticed—his brain working overtime. "If we aren't Genin yet, then why did we have to do this mission?" Riichi smiled guiltily, scratching the back of his neck.
"Oh, uh…well, you see, my mom needed a few things done around the house. This wasn't exactly a real mission. And uh, that was my laundry, by the way. I didn't think my underwear was that bad." Disgusting! Kaiya was dumbstruck as her jaw hit the ground. What was the Old Man thinking when he put this guy in charge of us? Is he really a Jonin?!
"What kind of sensei are you, anyway?" Riichi shrugged, concerned.
"Good question. I've never been one before, so I can't answer that. But I guess we'll find out soon enough, right?" he said. "If you guys pass the survival test, that is. And if you don't die before you actually find out." He smiled at them, taking delight in their pale faces. The fading daylight cast frightening shadows across his face.
"Err…" Kaiya growled, crossing her arms and turning away. She huffed. "What do we have to do for this stupid test anyway?" she asked. Riichi looked up at the sky again, nodding to himself. He pretended not to notice the two ANBU watching him from the roof of the Academy, hidden behind the tacky wooden pillars that curved toward the center. Or were they watching Kaiya? He wondered if she was aware of them.
He also wondered if she was aware of the wolf pup following her around everywhere, its stark, yellow eyes sometimes visible in the silhouette of her shadow, or in the canopy of the trees. He had noticed it on his way to the Academy to meet his new team, but he didn't think anything of it until he realized it was following them around. Well, following her, that is. The question is, does it serve the Sun or the Moon? he wondered. No one else would have noticed–not even the ANBU. But he had learned long ago from a comrade to always keep his eyes on the shadows, because something fascinating just might be lurking there.
Kaiya was going to prove to be an interesting student, no doubt.
Riichi let out a breath through his nostrils slowly. While the three kids were doing chores, he had paid the Hokage a visit, and Sarutobi had given him a few notes on Kaiya's behavior—updated from the file he'd received the day the Third had assigned his team to him. Kaiya was the most interesting student out of the three, for obvious reasons. She had been living amongst traitors her entire life and didn't know it. She had deep-seated issues that could prove problematic in the future if someone didn't intervene. She could turn out beneficial for the village, or she could go down the path of her parents and siblings. No one knew what she would turn out to be, and that fascinated Riichi.
He didn't need to read the notes to tell that Kaiya didn't play well with others—especially Unagi and Hibachi. She had difficulty trusting anyone, which was understandable after what her parents did to her, not to mention him… She preferred to do things on her own because she felt she was the only one she could trust. But if she wanted to survive, she couldn't do things her way anymore. She had to trust her team and her sensei to protect her life when danger appeared. If she didn't, she'd get them all killed. She was kind of an idiot.
I think all three of these guys need to learn a hard lesson in respect, teamwork, and survival. They won't last a day out in the real world otherwise. And that will just make me look bad—well, worse.
"You'll see tomorrow morning," he finally answered. "It's annoying to try and have to explain now." Kaiya grabbed his shoulders and shook him like a sack of flour, her nails digging into his skin like an eagle's talons locking onto its prey. His eyeballs almost shot out of his head.
"Tell me right now!" she demanded tensely. Riichi threw up his hands in surrender. Jeez! This girl has a temper worse than my ex-girlfriend's!
"Ok, ok!" Once Kaiya had calmed down and let go of him, Riichi straightened himself up and looked at his students firmly. He rubbed his shoulders, sure that there would be bruises there in the morning. Though he had enough muscle to keep Kaiya from doing too much damage, he could feel his flesh had softened, sensitive when he touched it. Both shoulders were sore and red from her fingers' grip. He growled. This twelve-year-old demon had the grip of a male twice her age and size. It hurt his pride a little. "Meet in Training Sector C tomorrow at five a.m. Come prepared to work hard."
Kaiya rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. "You didn't answer my question," she scolded. Riichi thought her glare would pierce through his already-tainted soul.
"Fine." He sighed in aggravation. "Look, the three of you are going up against me in a survival test—all the graduates are doing the same thing with their sensei. But there are a few important rules for my test. It's nothing you should worry about today," he assured them. "Just go home and get some rest—you'll need all your strength."
"But that's not—" He held up a hand to stop her.
"No more questions or complaints, and that's an order. Tomorrow, five a.m. Understand?" He stared them down until all three nodded. He grinned. "Good. See you in the morning, then. Ciao." He took Fluffy from Hibachi, the basket full of folded laundry from Kaiya, and the rake from Unagi; and then, without warning, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"This has to be the weirdest day of my life," Kaiya groaned, closing her eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "This team is going to need a miracle if we want to keep from going back to the Academy." She looked up at the big, red building in front of her, anguish written all over her face. She had a feeling Riichi called them there to mock them. They'd soon be returning if they couldn't complete the survival test tomorrow.
And just when Kaiya thought she had earned her freedom.
…
"Ok, everybody ready? The sooner we get this test over with, the sooner you three fail." Their faces fell. What a jerk! Does he even want us to pass?
The sun was just now peaking over the distant hills on the horizon, the sky a bright orange below a few shades of blue; a few stars were white dots against the changing sky.
Kaiya breathed in the fresh, crisp air of the morning, releasing a deep sigh as she closed her eyes and forced her nerves to calm. The scent of wet soil and grass relaxed her, her tense shoulders easing slightly. A light breeze blew her long hair behind her, falling down her back; her silver headband gleamed in the rising sun's light, reflecting the proud symbol of the Leaf Village on her forehead. With ease, she could sense her surroundings, almost like she was a part of the training ground.
Trees surrounded them, leaves fluttering off the top branches and twirling into the sky. There was an open lot between the groves, where patches of grass dotted beneath the canopy. Dirt was disheveled from all the foot traffic over the years, moist from the morning dew. Riichi stood directly in front of Kaiya, about five feet, towering above her like a statue. He watched her keenly, an eyebrow raised. Hibachi was to her left, standing a safe distance from her just in case she decided to attack him instead of their teacher. Unagi was standing on Hibachi's left, even further from Kaiya. He glanced at Hibachi nervously.
Kaiya grinned. The others didn't know it, but she was perfectly at home on the training grounds. She had been training rigorously for years, building up her stamina. She may not take all the aspects of being a shinobi seriously, but physical training was the one thing she excelled in. She loved it; she loved the strain of her muscles as she overworked her tired body; to her, that meant she was getting stronger. She ran until she couldn't feel her legs anymore; she became faster. She'd always struggled with ninjutsu and especially genjutsu, but she could make up for her less-than-tasteful tactics with speed and agility. She was strong, and she reveled in that, because it showed how much she had progressed since she was a little girl, standing in the shadow of her brother and sister who were superior to her in every way.
Now, she could show them how wrong they were about her. She wasn't weak or fragile; she wasn't a lost cause. They were wrong not to have any faith in her. They were wrong to shut her out.
Kaiya opened her eyes, the sun suddenly blinding her. She blinked rapidly, frowning. The mist of the early morning faded away as the sun climbed higher in the sky. The darkness had faded, the stars muted. It was time to start the survival test.
Despite Kaiya's frustration, she and her teammates gathered around their sensei in the middle of the training ground. She didn't want to admit it, but she was eager to see what she could do against him. Riichi may not look like much, but he was a Jonin, which meant he had to be skilled and strong.
"Listen up, kiddos," Riichi announced, after glancing up at the sky, calculating the time. They'd been standing in the field silently for about ten minutes, each preparing themselves and their nerves. They had no idea what the test was going to look like, what would happen once it started. Kaiya's ears perked up. She hardly ever gave an adult her full attention. "This is the standard Genin test every potential team has to take. However, I'm not the conventional type." They all frowned in question.
"This is how it will work: The three of you have to defeat me using the three shinobi tactics of taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu," he explained. "But there's a catch—you can only use one of those tactics each. Now, I could be crude and have you each use the tactic you're worst at, but I'm feeling particularly generous today." Well, since the Hokage made it clear they have to pass, despite their lack of talent and skill, he thought, annoyed. "Your goal is to take one of these bells from me." He dug in his pocket and pulled out three, marble-sized silver bells. Kaiya's eyes narrowed.
"You say we have to use one tactic each?" she asked, confused. Riichi showed her a toothy grin as he latched the three bells to his belt loop.
"That's right, Kaiya," he replied. "This is where I add my own conditions to the survival test. It's simple, really. One of you will use taijutsu, one ninjutsu, and the other genjutsu. If any of you use any other tactic than what you're assigned, you'll fail." The three preteens paled.
"W-what?!" Unagi's eyes widened. "You can't do that!" he shouted in protest. Riichi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Man, kids were so annoying.
"It's true that my methods are a bit unorthodox, and maybe just a tiny bit unfair, but that's a life lesson for all of you. Nothing in life is fair, and it's better that you learn that now and fail than to go out and get killed because you couldn't figure that out from the start. Other than that, the premise for the survival test is the same as the other graduates: teamwork. That means that if one of you breaks the rules, all of you break the rules, so keep that in mind. You'll be fighting me to get a bell, but if one of you doesn't do it by lunchtime, it's game over for all three of you."
Kaiya gritted her teeth, frustrated beyond belief. "You're kidding, right?" She clenched her fists. Teamwork was the worst! These guys would only drag her down. Hibachi slashed his arm in front of him angrily.
"How in the world are we supposed to fight you using only one tactic?!" Complete hopelessness spilled out of his shrill voice. "You're a Jonin, right?! It's hard enough for us to fight you in the first place, but this is just…" Riichi shrugged, unconcerned.
"You can't beat me alone, kid," he replied firmly, shaking his head. "That's the point. This is a team effort–never forget that. From this moment on, your lives are in each other's hands; your survival is dependent upon one another. Honestly, I could explain this to you a hundred different ways and give you all the answers, but then this really wouldn't be a test, would it?"
Hibachi sighed in defeat and slumped his tense shoulders. Riichi's eyes narrowed. "If you want to be a full-fledged ninja, stop making excuses. Your complaints should end here," he advised darkly, crossing his arms. "Sometimes you'll be faced with opponents who are stronger than you, but you can't just give up. Make one mistake, hesitate for even a moment, doubt your teammates for a second, and you'll die. This test is to measure your survival skills, instincts, and talents, individually as well as collectively. Come at me as if I were a real enemy, or you won't pass. Got it?"
The three nodded, though reluctantly. Kaiya's hands suddenly felt clammy. What if she was forced to use ninjutsu? She'd never get a bell then. Riichi had promised he wasn't going to make them use their worst tactic, but then again, he had said many things he didn't mean. Besides, she was even worse at genjutsu than ninjutsu, so that put her at the greatest disadvantage between the three of them.
"Get ready, then. You have until one o'clock, kiddies. Kaiya, use taijutsu; Hibachi, ninjutsu; Unagi, you'll be using genjutsu. If I'm correct, those were your strengths in the Academy, right?" They nodded again. "Then don't make this easy for me. Show me what little you can do." Unagi gulped; Hibachi frowned. Kaiya took deep breaths and tried to clear her mind, focusing only on the task at hand.
These idiots are just going to get in my way, she thought bitterly, biting her lip so hard it broke the skin. She licked the drop of blood from her bottom lip, reveling in the bitter metallic taste. On top of that, I'm trying to take a bell from a maniac Jonin. At least I had the sense to eat first, so I'll have my strength…can't say the same for the others.
Riichi raised his hand, then brought it down swiftly. "Go!" He disappeared in a swirl of leaves.
…
Two hours later, the sun beat down on the training ground relentlessly, making Team 11's mission that much harder to bear. Kaiya was used to training in all types of weather, but not usually without a break in between hours. And she was never fighting against a Jonin in a survival test.
Right now, her senses were on overdrive, trying to locate her teammates and sensei. She'd tried several times to try and grab a bell, but Hibachi and Unagi kept getting in the way, as expected. She had to run off and find a good hiding place, since not only were they to attack Riichi, but he attacked them in return. And on top of that, he didn't have restrictions on what he could use against them. They were doomed.
Meanwhile, Hibachi had had just about enough of Riichi and his stupid test. "I can't believe this," he said to himself, panting. He was in a tree, hiding from his maniac of a sensei. Riichi didn't just wait for them to find him—he went after them, toying with them. Hibachi knew Riichi didn't need to make any effort to catch all of them in a flash, but he hunted them slowly like a tiger in the jungle, giving them a sliver of hope that they could actually defeat him—and with one tactic at that. He was ruthless!
"He's going to kill me…and I haven't even put a scratch on him. How the hell am I supposed to use ninjutsu when we barely went over it in the Academy—and against a Jonin? It's not like I know all sorts of jutsu. And Kaiya and Unagi are just dead weight and make this even more difficult."
He let out a frustrated sigh but ducked lower in the branches when he heard clanging metal in the distance, indicating that Kaiya was now engaged in a weapons battle with Riichi. Hibachi frowned. He wondered if their sensei would really use all his strength against fresh meat like them. That conniving bastard.
Hibachi spotted Kaiya and Riichi in the distance, going back and forth with kunai. He studied them carefully between the leaves, resentfully impressed with the way Kaiya kept up with him. He knew from class that she was fast on her feet and better at hand-to-hand combat than most of their grade-level. But that didn't mean she would be able to go head-to-head with an elite ninja in a real fight; Riichi was obviously giving her some slack, maybe to see if she really was any good at all. But as far as Hibachi could tell, she was doing well—at least better than he or Unagi could. Not that he would ever admit that, of course. He also knew that she was terrible at genjutsu and subpar at ninjutsu, so it helped keep his ego high. He wasn't about to let a girl—least of all this girl—steal the spotlight. He was going to shine and beat his two teammates at this survival test. He was going to take all three bells for himself.
I'll be one of Sakura's fangirls before I go back to the Academy, he thought, annoyed, as he lay in wait for an opportunity to attack. Kaiya may have been fast for her age, but there was no way a ninja fresh out of the Academy was going to defeat a Jonin in any kind of battle. So, once she was struck down (killed, if he was lucky), and while Riichi was still distracted by his victory, Hibachi would swoop in and attack their sensei from behind and take the bells. He had his own tricks up his sleeve.
"No matter how much training a spoiled brat like you does, you're still just a greenhorn," Riichi taunted. "Give up, Kaiya. There's no way you can beat me, even at my worst!"
Kaiya gritted her teeth, her frustration motivating her as she slowly pushed him back with the kunai in her hand. She was fast, but Riichi was still faster. She knew he was going easy on her, making her think she had a chance. She wished he wouldn't tease her. Knowing that she couldn't match him at his best just made her angrier. Red-faced, both from exertion and from embarrassment, Kaiya pushed harder, knowing it was all futile.
Riichi had to admit he was impressed with Kaiya's speed. Though many prodigies in the past have outdone her easily, what he was most impressed with was her work ethic. Even though he knew she outright sucked at ninjutsu and genjutsu was utterly hopeless, Riichi could tell just by looking at her physique that Kaiya trained tirelessly day in and day out. (Then again, maybe she just got a lot of muscles from beating up all her classmates). Her physicality was the one thing she could control, as opposed to chakra and illusions. If she kept at it, she might reach Might Guy's tier by the time she was his age. Maybe.
"I may not be on your level, but I'll die before I go back to the Academy!" Kaiya shouted in return. With her anger and determination fueling her, she came at him with more force until she was close enough for a strike. She lifted her leg and kneed him in the gut without any hesitation. He doubled over with an OOMPH!
Saliva shot out of his mouth like a projectile kunai as the wind was knocked out of him. He dropped to his knees fast and hard like an anchor. Grabbing at his stomach, he wheezed, his eyes wide. Kaiya didn't give her sensei any time to react as she lifted her leg above her head, bringing it down on Riichi's back. He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing he couldn't react with enough time to go unscathed.
Before the blow connected, however, the earth underneath them shifted suddenly, melting away. Kaiya lost her balance briefly, and while she was distracted, trying to find her footing again, Riichi sucked in a deep breath and jumped into the air clumsily, watching as Kaiya's planted foot was suddenly swallowed in thick, slushy mud. Kaiya looked at the ground as she placed her other foot down to keep from falling face first in the muck, exasperated.
"Hibachi, you bastard! Just who are you trying to attack here?!" Sweat dripped down her furrowed brows as she glanced around the training ground in a frenzy, her eyes ablaze with the flames of two miniature suns. She struggled against the earth, but her ankles wouldn't budge. Damn that asshole…wait till I get outta here. He's dead meat!
Riichi frowned; in midair, he placed a hand on the bruise he knew was forming on his ribs. Jeez, such fury for such a little girl. For a second there she almost had me, he thought, confused. If they weren't so intent on destroying each other, they might have a chance here.
But, he thought, as he landed safely out of range of Hibachi's jutsu, they would never join forces, even if that meant losing. It was pathetic, honestly, but if it was the only way for them—and for the Third—to see that these three were the worst possible match for a team, he would plow them into the ground. Why the hell did Sarutobi think he was so wise when he paired him up with ticking time bombs? If they didn't kill each other on the training field today, they would get each other—and possibly Riichi—killed out on a mission. Team 11 was a disaster waiting to happen.
Riichi was lost in thought, seemingly unaware of his surroundings. Hibachi chuckled, appearing next to his sensei as he landed safely a few meters over. He may have been initially trying to trap Riichi, but at least now Kaiya wouldn't get in his way. He made hand signs.
"Earth Release: Mud Trap!" Again, the dirt began to move, turning into sludge. Riichi barely avoided it a second time, using the body flicker technique to escape. By now he'd caught his breath and was much more aware of what was going on, even though he still felt nauseous.
Even though I'm dealing with amateurs, I'll get myself caught up if I keep daydreaming. He resisted the urge to puke as bile rose in his throat. He let out a loud, wet burp, recoiling at the taste. Ugh, I'm gonna feel this in the morning.
When he landed again, Hibachi went at him a third time, but this time, there was an interruption. Unagi jumped out of a bush, landing in front of Riichi. The latter already knew he was trying to catch him off guard to trap him in a genjutsu. However, Unagi messed up by landing right in Hibachi's mud, sinking to his ankles. He tried to free his feet, only to discover, in the same way Kaiya had, that the hardened muck had encased around them firmly. He broke concentration, frantically trying to pull himself free.
Hibachi yelled at Unagi for messing up his attack, while Kaiya was still screaming at Hibachi several meters away, their voices echoing off the trees and sending hordes of birds into a frenzy. While they were all distracted, Riichi slowly backed away, dashing behind a tree, far out of earshot. He could still hear them screaming at each other, but their words were muffled by distance.
Sighing, Riichi dropped to the ground, holding his head in his hands. A wave of complete despair washed over him like a tsunami, almost as powerful as his nausea.
He let out slow, deep breaths as he tried to gain his composure. It wasn't working. The Hokage's plan wasn't working. "Damn it all," he whined, shaking his head in utter disbelief. "This team is a disaster…ah, who am I kidding? They don't even deserve to be called a team. These kids are the worst. Sorry, Hokage, but it doesn't look like that girl will make the cut. Don't blame me for her inability to cooperate with others. Aiko was wrong. She'll never be ready."
He sighed again, running his calloused fingers through his coarse brown hair. It stood out on all ends now, making him look insane. He didn't feel too far from that right now (well, anytime, really). "If these guys ever got assigned a real mission, they'd kill each other before they even left the village—forget about any enemies! The Old Man has really gone downhill if he thinks this will work out. Does he really not want me to return to my duties that badly?"
I wonder if I should just go ahead and fail them now, before they can tear each other apart. My students dying before they pass the survival test won't make me look like a good sensei.
Meanwhile, Sarutobi watched Team 11's survival test through his crystal ball, distraught. He let out a long, drawn-out sigh, shaking his head slowly. He wished he had some sake nearby; he'd drain the whole bottle. His bones ached watching the painful endeavor between Kaiya and her teammates. Shikaku and Kakashi were standing behind the Hokage's leather seat, watching with him. Sweat dripped down their brows as they shared a troubled look. Shikaku felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He was her guardian, after all.
"Wow, Kaiya really doesn't like those guys, does she?" Kakashi asked, half interested. And with good reason. Their chemistry is even worse than my team's. He was almost ashamed to admit he was relieved by that revelation. All the other teams completed their survival tests the day before, but Riichi was told to do his the next day, so that Kakashi and Shikaku could both observe. The latter shook his head.
"Well, they give her a lot of trouble," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly. He tried to sound impartial, but the truth is, he didn't blame Kaiya for always getting into it with them, when they start most of it just for kicks. She just wanted to be left alone. "They were the main ones spreading rumors after the incident six years ago, and they still hold it against her even now, more than any of the others. She doesn't want to appear weak or vulnerable in front of them, and they don't want to trust her."
Kakashi turned to the Third in question, his visible eyebrow raised. Sarutobi had lost count of all the times Kaiya had been sent to his office for disciplinary action, and most of those times the incidents involved Hibachi and Unagi.
"Lord Hokage, are you sure it was a good idea to put these guys together?" the silver haired Jonin wondered. "And with him as their sensei? If you ask me, that's a disaster waiting to happen." Hiruzen's eyes lowered as he pondered Kakashi's question. He was beginning to second guess himself, honestly. It didn't look like he'd made the right decision this time. Well, he couldn't be right all the time, could he? Still, the day was far from over.
"What do you think, Shikaku?" Sarutobi's eyes fell on the Jonin Commander, who was stroking his beard almost nervously, his scars rippling across his face when he frowned. Sighing, Shikaku closed his eyes in thought, opening them a few moments later. He turned back to the chaos swirling inside the crystal ball.
"Well, Kakashi's team surprised us, so I think we shouldn't give up hope just yet," he decided firmly. "There's still plenty of time before the test ends, so let's see what happens. I think that if they can pull it together, the four of them could make a good team after all." The three men had high doubts it would turn out well, but they didn't say that aloud. They'd be satisfied if Team 11 all came out of the survival test alive.
Kaiya finally freed her feet, stomping over to the two boys to teach them a long and painful lesson that was well overdue. Hibachi saw her first, scrambling to get away, slipping in his own mud. Before he could make an escape, Kaiya grabbed him by the collar so forcefully that it knocked his hat off into the still-hardening muck.
"Hey, that's my favorite hat!" he protested, gritting his teeth. Kaiya ignored him. Breathing heavily, she made a fist and swung, aiming for his good eye; Hibachi squeezed his eyes shut and waited to feel pain.
"The point is, you've got to be successful as a team if you want to get that far. And just in case you boneheads haven't figured this out already, teams have to have chemistry in order to function. If you don't know each other–strengths and weaknesses, fighting patterns and preferences, habits and thought processes–there is no chemistry. You're just three separate people standing side-by-side."
"But Sensei, that is a team, isn't it?"
"Wrong, Four Eyes. That just shows how ignorant and weak you really are. That way of thinking will only get you killed sooner. I'll break it down for you dimwits, so listen up. A typical squad is supposed to be three–or four, including the leader–people working as one unit for a specific goal, to complete a mission. But just agreeing to be a team doesn't make you a team, understand? You won't accomplish anything unless you learn how to work together. Teams whose members don't have chemistry…well, they die–and fairly quickly, I might add. And as unfortunate as it is, my job is to keep you three alive until you're Chunin. That means the fighting amongst each other has to stop, and we have to learn how to get along."
Kaiya's eyes widened in sudden revelation. Her fist froze a breadth away from Hibachi's trembling face. He could feel a breeze from the force of the halt, making him grimace harder. After a few seconds, fighting against her urge to kill, her arm lowered, and Hibachi gained the courage to open his eyes. He blinked in question. She…stopped? I thought I was a goner, he thought, letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He might have also peed his pants a little. Sweat trickled nervously down his brow.
"Riichi-sensei…I think I see what he wants now." An excited expression appeared on her face for just a moment. It was rare; the two boys hadn't seen her make an expression like that since they were small children, and so it startled them—even more than when she was angry. She completely released Hibachi, and he fell backwards into Unagi. They both tumbled to the ground.
"Oof!"
"Listen up, you two." Her voice was sharp and determined, and the two boys immediately stood to their feet, giving her their full attention, afraid she was going to clobber them if they didn't. Kaiya let out a deep breath slowly, then looked back up at her teammates. As much as it pained her to be a part of something so ridiculous, she knew they didn't have a choice if they wanted to pass. Kaiya would burn in hell before she repeated any part of the Academy, especially with Iruka.
"Riichi-sensei practically placed victory in our hands," she explained, holding out her hands. The boys gave her confused looks, making her sigh and shake her head. She counted to ten and then straightened up, ready to try again without hitting the realization into them with her dirt-caked fists. "Remember all of that nonsense he said about teamwork?" They nodded. "Well, there's the answer. We've been so focused on getting the bells for ourselves and refusing to work together, and Sensei has definitely been toying with us, but most of our defeats have come from each other. This test isn't about defeating him with our skills; it's about combining them and finding a way to complete the mission together."
Kaiya and Unagi looked at their muddy feet; Hibachi blushed in embarrassment. Unagi had a gash on his cheek from Kaiya throwing a kunai at him when he tried to interrupt her first one-on-one match with Riichi at the beginning of the test; he had barely escaped with his life. Hibachi had been caught up in a genjutsu when he leapt in front of Unagi to shove him out of the way so that he could fight Riichi himself. They had all sabotaged each other, and in the end, they sabotaged themselves.
"We have to work together. Don't you get it?" Kaiya continued, wiping sweat from her brow. A smudge of mud smeared across her face, but she didn't notice. "Riichi-sensei made this test specifically because he knew we couldn't work together. We have to use all three ninja tactics, which means that we have to coordinate our attacks with each other. And we have to make a plan, play our cards right…we're up against a Jonin after all. It's impossible to beat him, especially single-handedly. The point of this is to create an opening and grab the bells, not just show off."
Unagi and Hibachi began contemplating Kaiya's words. She was starting to make sense, for once. It frightened all three of them.
"Yeah…the entire time, we've been working separately and failing," Unagi chimed in, tapping his chin in thought. "We thought we could beat him by ourselves and take a bell, proving to Sensei that we're good at our assigned tasks. But in this case, it doesn't matter who's good at what. The goal is to distract him and expose his openings. That's the only way we can get a bell, since we're fresh out of the Academy."
Kaiya couldn't believe she couldn't see it before. As much as she was against working with others, especially the likes of these two, it was the only way they would get through this—together. She was actually embarrassed, glad that no one else was watching her at that moment. Shikamaru and Sasuke would tease her for being so dimwitted, blinded by rage and dislike for her teammates.
"But…how do we catch Riichi-sensei off guard?" Hibachi wondered with a frown. He scoffed and crossed his arms, but he kept from spouting anything negative when Kaiya's eyebrows furrowed, her cold eyes daring him to utter even one more unhelpful syllable. At the sight of her dark expression, he thought better of it and his mouth clamped shut. She grunted in approval.
"First of all, we have to do what he said before and put aside the fact that we hate each other," she explained, her face showing a pout. "As hard as that is, it's the only way." She placed her hands on her hips assertively. "Then, we have to trust each other, as much as it sucks. I think I already have a plan, but I need the two of you to fully cooperate, or it won't work. And we need to do it fast and with no hesitation. I can't do it myself. None of us can. We don't have to defeat Riichi-sensei at all. We just have to keep him occupied while we grab the bells." Unagi nodded, a small grin on his face. He and Kaiya turned to Hibachi expectantly, who was trying his best to ignore them both. Finally, he couldn't take their stares any longer.
"Alright, already! I get it. None of us want to go back to the Academy as failures. What's the plan, Kaiya?" She smirked.
Shikaku and Kakashi were impressed at how quickly they were able to come together. And the fact that it was Kaiya who realized the importance of teamwork and rallied her team together…
For a moment, all hell had broken loose, and they were only seconds away from killing each other in a fit of rage. Kakashi thought they would have to intervene at some point, but to his relief they didn't have to now. Sarutobi leaned back in his chair, letting out a deep sigh. He hadn't made a mistake after all.
"You just might be onto something, Lord Hokage," Shikaku said with a grin, placing his hands in his pockets casually. "I haven't seen Kaiya this determined since I met her." He chuckled. "Now let's see if Riichi has what it takes to lead them. They're going to need a lot of guidance to be successful." That was the real test, the Hokage thought.
Riichi could no longer hear the distant shouts of an argument. He wondered if they'd agreed to get along—which, knowing his luck, that was far too much to expect—or if they all finally killed each other. Gritting his teeth, he dared to poke his head up from around the tree he was using as a hiding spot.
All three were gone from where he'd last seen them. Oh no, he thought, his teeth chattering, Kaiya's killed the boys and carried off their corpses to hide the evidence. He jumped out into the open, holding his arms up, ready to defend himself if he had to. There's only half an hour left before they fail…there isn't much more they can do, since they've wasted most of their time and energy fighting with each other. I think it's safe for me to take it easy.
His muscles relaxed, and he lowered his arms slowly. Maybe they'd given up, realizing that it was hopeless for them. He couldn't blame them; he was just glad they finally accepted the inevitable.
Riichi studied his surroundings. He didn't see any mud tracks near him, nor any drag marks indicating Kaiya had hauled them away, so he had no idea where his three students could have gone. He smirked. Oh, they cover their tracks well, at least. The wind was calm, so he wouldn't be able to smell anything from a distance. The leaves were still, which most likely meant no one was hiding in the canopy; he couldn't even sense any birds or squirrels nearby. Maybe Kaiya and the boys scared them off, he thought. He figured the coast was clear.
Walking out into the open, he almost jumped out of his skin when a silhouette leapt out of a row of nearby bushes and knocked him back with a forceful kick to the chest. The motion was so quick he didn't have any time to react.
"Aagh!" He stumbled but caught himself before his back hit the ground. Kaiya grinned as she threw a volley of punches and kicks one right after another without letting up, before Riichi could completely catch his footing. He easily blocked her, but he couldn't find an opening to either strike back or retreat; he kept having to back up to keep his balance. Tch. If she thinks this is going to be enough to get a bell, she's dead wr—
Riichi sensed another presence behind him, one that seemingly appeared from above. "Earth Release: Mud Trap!" Hibachi appeared satisfied as his sensei's eyes widened. He didn't have time to move out of the way; he couldn't stand still and simply avoid the attack, unless he wanted to get kicked or punched, which would force him into the mud anyway.
Craaap, I've been tricked!
There was nothing he could do at this point—unless he wanted to kill them (Kami, don't tempt him)—so he just decided to accept his fate. It wasn't like he couldn't easily escape anyway, so why not let them think they got the edge over him? Then his eyes widened. Wait, where's—? Before he could move a muscle, Unagi swung down from a low branch and quickly placed Riichi in a genjutsu; he didn't even have time to blink. The Jonin froze, eyes still wide. His arms dropped to his side as he slumped over.
"We…we did it?" Unagi jumped down from the branch and landed in front of Riichi, studying the man cautiously. When he didn't move, Unagi's eyes widened. "We did it!" he exclaimed, elated. "We actually did it! And we didn't die!" They all breathed heavily, having used up almost all their energy earlier, mostly against each other. But now, they could rest.
Just imagine if we did this in the beginning. We wouldn't be so exhausted now, Kaiya thought, deciding not to voice that out loud. Instead, she said, "Good job, guys. We managed to pull it off." It felt strange to tell them that; they found it strange to hear it from her. She grinned, her features softening. "It worked because he wasn't expecting us to make a joint attack." Hibachi glanced at her, impressed, but blushed when he saw her smile. He immediately turned away so neither of his teammates would notice.
"Uh…yeah." He cleared his throat, then bent over to retrieve a bell from their sensei's belt, and the others followed suit. They stood around Riichi, examining their prizes. "Hmm…all that work for these stupid bells," he said, rolling his eyes. But inside, he felt the excitement of having accomplished their first mission as a team. But he would never say that out loud and give Kaiya the satisfaction. If it wasn't for her, they would still be fighting. They would've lost and been sent back to the Academy. He shuddered at the thought.
"So, now what?" Unagi scratched his head. "Do I wake him?" Hibachi and Kaiya shared a brief look before mischievous grins crossed both their faces. Hibachi tapped his chin in thought. He snapped his fingers.
"I know! Before we do that, let's make him tell us something really embarrassing," he suggested, rubbing his palms together hungrily. Kaiya nodded, sniggering. Unagi turned to her. She shrugged.
"It's the least he owes us for all the shit he's put us through already." They all stared at their sensei who was still standing with his back hunched, locked in a genjutsu, and starting to drool. Kaiya's nose wrinkled in disgust.
"Ok. But what should I make him say?" Unagi asked. Hibachi stared up at the sky thoughtfully, then his eyes rested back on Riichi. He chuckled evilly, grinning from ear-to-ear.
"Let's make him tell us his deepest, darkest secret." Unagi blinked, his eye twitching.
"A-are you sure that's—"
"Just do it, Unagi, for Kami's sake!" Hibachi ordered, crossing his arms. "This guy is a creep, and it'll probably do us some good to have leverage over him for the future. Hurry up." Unagi nodded, telling Riichi to reveal his darkest secret to them.
"I…" He snorted once, then straightened up and turned to his students, his eyes closed. They all held their breath in anticipation. "I sleep with a teddy bear," he confessed drearily, sucking on his thumb. "His name is Mr. Cuddles. He's my best friend. We go on looots of adventures together."
Sweat drops.
"Oookkaayyy. This guy is creepier than I thought," Hibachi murmured, stifling a laugh. Kaiya rolled her eyes. Good grief…I really am surrounded by weirdos.
Even Kakashi, Shikaku, and Sarutobi felt awkward listening in. They decided they should probably end the crystal-watching for the day. They'd seen enough.
Once he'd gotten over the shock of Riichi's 'biggest secret,' Unagi released the genjutsu. Riichi's eyes fluttered open; he groaned groggily, and once his mind was clear, he saw that he was standing shin-deep in hardened mud, his calves aching. He frowned in question, looking down at his students, who were surrounding him, staring at him expectantly. He blinked a few more times before pulling out a watch from his pocket, his eyebrows sinking lower on his face. Had he dozed off in the middle of the test? How had time passed so quickly from when he had been trapped?
"Well, looks like you guys only have three minutes left," he announced, scratching his brow. "Looks like you failed." For some reason, he had a tremendous headache. He rubbed his temple thoroughly, then realized he had dried drool down the length of his broad chin. He hastily wiped it off, confused.
"Not so fast, Sensei," Unagi said, holding up a bell. Kaiya and Hibachi did the same, grinning cheekily as Riichi finally understood. They had completed the survival test after all. His frown deepened. He felt the weightlessness on his belt loop, where he had tied the bells just before the test began. That's right…I was in a genjutsu, wasn't I? Strange, I don't even remember…that Unagi might have a talent for it after all.
"Yeah, ya big jerk." Hibachi dangled the bell in the air happily. Kaiya stuck out her tongue, flashing her bell in his face. He had to admit that he was embarrassed three rookies got the best of him, and so quickly after being enemies for years. He prayed none of his superiors had been watching. Now that would be embarrassing!
"So what, you smug little bastards? You managed to get me once and you're sitting here bragging about it? Tch…don't be so arrogant. If I was using my real skills against you, you would have been dead hours ago." A smile appeared on his face as his gaze went from one student to the next. There was a pregnant silence between the four of them as Riichi gathered his thoughts. "The three of you actually managed to put aside your differences and work together to take the bells from me. I'll be damned."
His eyes narrowed as a serious expression appeared on his sweaty and dirty face. "Listen, this wasn't all for nothing, you know. There are three important lessons you need to learn when you join a team: How to communicate, how to collaborate, and how to grow," he explained, crossing his arms. They were completely silent as they listened intently, which shocked him.
"It looks like I was wrong about you three–at least for the moment. We might actually be a good team after all." His smile returned as he stretched the soreness out of his muscles, pulling his feet loose from their trap. He was very satisfied at that moment—more satisfied than he had been in a long, long time. "I'm looking forward to what the future holds for Team 11. Congratulations, the three of you are officially Genin."