It had been a week of almost useless training and several D-ranked missions hardly worth a ninja's dignity, before Team 11 was sent home early for a day off. Riichi disappeared in a cloud of smoke to who-knows-where, as he'd done every day that week. (Probably to go on another adventure with Mr. Cuddles). Kaiya still didn't favor her teammates, but after their epiphany during the survival test, they at least made a pact to get along when they had to. So, you know, they didn't die or anything like that.

"See you tomorrow, Kaiya," Unagi called, waving to her as she separated herself from the boys. She waved back halfheartedly, and they watched her walk away in somber fashion, hands in her pockets. Unagi turned to Hibachi.

"Hey Hibachi, where do you think she lives?" he asked in a hushed whisper. Kaiya was known to have excellent hearing to go along with her peculiar sense of smell, and he didn't want her to eavesdrop. Hibachi shrugged. He stretched, enjoying the afternoon sun as it warmed his whole body, after they had spent the entire morning cleaning out a grocery store's freezer. He'd felt like an abominable snowman for hours.

"Not sure," he replied after consideration, trying not to seem as interested as his colleague. Everyone in Iruka's class knew all the rumors surrounding Kaiya by heart—they'd known for years—though no one knew the exact truth; they just repeated what they heard from their parents and passersby. Her parents and siblings had been killed—all four of them—in their own home. Kaiya was the only survivor.

Now, any time they saw her walking off, they wondered where she lived at the present time. If there was anyone who did know, they kept it to themselves. Kaiya never spoke of herself or her family to anyone, and no one wanted to ask. She was extremely defensive when it came to her personal life, especially her former loved ones. But that just stirred up more rumors about her.

Most of her classmates speculated her home was top secret, shrouded in mystery. "I heard her family once lived near the exit of the village, somewhere by the woods, but it was closed after they were all killed," Hibachi said, after several moments of contemplative silence.

"Some say it's haunted, but no one who goes looking for it can find it…or, maybe they just don't come back. It wouldn't surprise me if she never left her compound and conspires with her parents' and siblings' ghosts. That may be why she's so insane." Unagi gulped. "Anyway, if anyone knows where she lives now, they haven't spilled the bean jam."

"Or maybe she lives in a secret bunker in the Hokage Mansion," Unagi suggested, pretending Hibachi hadn't spooked him. "Or somewhere underground." The truth was, he could see Hibachi's suggestion clear as day: Kaiya sitting in the middle of her old home, destroyed and rotted from years of disuse, speaking with the spirits of her deceased family members, a dazed look in her eyes as she conversed with the dead. She could have been possessed, prompting her to do crazy things. No one would know.

Unagi blinked, staring at the cement somberly as he thought of something suddenly. "Hey, Hibachi. Do you…do you really think she's a traitor?"

Of course, Hibachi had a response already in his head, ready to give it at a moment's notice. But as he opened his mouth to say it, he stopped, closing his mouth slowly. His eyes narrowed as he searched deep within himself for the real answer, as much as it annoyed him to do so. He paused to think. He had been hounding her for so long, he didn't truly know where he stood on the matter. Things used to be different their first year in the Academy. His expression was unreadable, his eyes hidden underneath the shadow of his beanie. "…"

Kaiya stared at her feet as she walked, clenching her fists tucked inside her pockets. A small breeze came from behind her, blowing her dark locks around her face as she took what she called the walk of shame: She had to make the trek alone to yet another temporary home, where she was once again an outcast. She had to walk through an estate belonging to a clan that wasn't her own, to a home belonging to a family she wasn't a part of.

But then again, this wasn't the first time. She should be used to it by now.

Kaiya reached the fork in the forest path that would lead to that place. As she expected, someone was waiting for her there, leaning against a tree leisurely, hands in his pockets as well. He looked bored out of his mind, like he'd rather be dead in a ditch somewhere than waiting for her, as he did every day. Kaiya grinned. She was used to that expression; it didn't faze her at all. In fact, she welcomed it.

"Shikamaru, you look excited to see me, like always," she greeted sardonically, removing her hands from her pockets slowly. He turned to her, having previously been staring at the clouds longingly, probably wishing he was one, the lazy bastard. A small smirk appeared.

"Yo," he called, waving as he pushed himself off the tree. "You're early today, Kaiya. You know what that means, don't you? My mom's gonna make you do a bunch of chores." Kaiya nodded, letting out a slow sigh.

"Yeah, I know." Her shoulders slumped, but she wasn't really upset about it. In fact, she was happy to help the people who took her in any way she could. She just had to pretend like it bothered her, for her pride's sake. They entered the forest and began their walk to the Nara Estate in silence. They passed the homes of the many members of the clan, but their destination was beyond that. They paid no attention to the canopy, where they could see glimpses of several masks along the path out of their peripherals.

After a few minutes, the two preteens reached an opening of land where there stood a large compound surrounded by a grove of deep, green trees. It was much bigger than the others, amidst lush pine and oak. On one side, several meters out, was a small swamp; Kaiya could smell its murky waters and damp moss a mile away, making her nose twitch. On the opposite side, about the same distance, was a pond. It smelled a lot better than the marsh, and it had several different kinds of fish swimming in it.

When Kaiya was younger, she would go out to the pond and try to catch them underwater, training herself to hold her breath longer each time. Together with Shikamaru, they would sit on the bank and stare up at the sky for hours, content in each other's silence. It was how they grew close, despite her reluctance.

The Nara Estate sat in the middle of the entire forest. The clan herded deer and took care of the forest as protectors where they nurtured them. The antlers of the bucks were cultivated for medicine, and the deer had many other uses as well. They never really seemed to like Kaiya, since she was an outsider, but a few of them had started warming up to her lately. She tried not to let on to the fact that she was intimidated by an animal—especially one that just ate grass—but knowing Shikamaru and his father, they weren't fooled at all. At least they were the type of people who didn't mention those sorts of things.

A stone pathway led all the way from the forest opening to the front steps of the main family's compound. On either side of it were different types of fruit trees, ripe for the picking, illuminating the property with an array of colors appeasing even to Kaiya. She and Shikamaru stood on the veranda of their home, staring out the way they came. There were several ANBU agents lounging in the trees above them. Some of them picked fruit from the branches, using kunai to cut them open and slip pieces underneath their masks; others were so still, they seemed to blend in with the scenery.

Both Genin always pretended like they weren't there, and that they didn't know the reason they had been posted outside Shikaku's home. It was easier just not to talk about it.

"So, how's it going with your team?" Kaiya asked, neglecting to look at Shikamaru directly. She smirked. "You have that loudmouthed Ino and that fatso Choji, right? And then there's you, the lazy ass. That's some team, eh?" Shikamaru scoffed, frowning at her insults (ok, he agreed with her comment about Ino, so that didn't really annoy him). He removed his hands from his pockets and placed them behind his head, craning his neck to look up at the thick leaves above them.

"Tch. Like your team is any better," he drawled, his eyebrow twitching. "You've got that dork Unagi and that overconfident Hibachi. Not to mention your weird sensei that Dad told me about. And then there's you, who thinks just because you can beat up anyone in class that you're strong. But you suck at everything else, so you really don't make a good ninja." Kaiya's eyes lowered dangerously as a tick popped out in the corner of her forehead. She decided not to argue with him, because well, he was right. He was right a lot, actually. And she hated that.

"If you're willing to defend yourself with an insult like that, your team must be really bad, huh?" She grinned and let out a short laugh when Shikamaru's face twisted into a scowl, giving himself away. "Well, at least it seems like you have an interesting sensei. It's the Old Man's son, right? The one who smokes all the time."

Shikamaru's features melted as he thought about his team leader. "Asuma. Yeah. He's alright." Kaiya had only met him once, a few years ago. She had once again been sent to the Hokage for misbehaving in class, and Asuma was having a heated discussion with his father about his lack of responsibility; his hair was unkempt and his beard ungroomed, proving the point that he didn't take care of business. She'd seen him around since then and he seemed to have sobered up, so she had no idea what kind of man he was now.

Asuma was once a member of the Twelve Guardian Shinobi, but the Third didn't seem too proud of him for it. After she'd been sent to his office, Asuma left in a fit of rage, only giving her a short glance, so Kaiya had asked Sarutobi what problem "that guy" had. The old man just shook his head and sighed, as he often did, and told her the hardest part about being Hokage was being a father along with it. He said nothing more on the subject, proceeding to scold her for ending up in his office for the third team that week.

"Hmm." She was sure he'd mellowed out since then—his hair certainly had. Before she could say anything else, Shikaku slid the door open and stepped outside onto the veranda, surprised to see Shikamaru and Kaiya standing there.

"Hey, you two." He grinned softly, as he often did. Kaiya's heart strained. Shikaku had been the kindest person to her since her family's betrayal, even when she was dropped off at his doorstep with no warning. He easily took her in and did his best to make her feel like part of the family. He was one of just a handful of people she trusted without hesitation.

"Hey, Dad." Shikamaru glanced at his father stoically.

"You two are home early," Shikaku said, resting a firm hand on Kaiya's head affectionately. She did her best to hide a grin, her lip trembling. He then crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the compound. "I heard you had a mission, Kaiya. How'd it go?" Kaiya sighed.

"I didn't think cleaning out freezers would be so much work," she complained, clenching and unclenching her fists, her fingers still stiff from the labor. "But at least we got the rest of the day off." She sighed again. "Hey, Shikaku…how much longer are we gonna have to go through these ridiculous missions anyway? They're so annoying and they're not really ninja-worthy."

"Neither are you," Shikamaru snorted, and Kaiya frowned and lightly punched him in the arm, making him frown at her in return.

Shikaku blinked, chuckling at her distress. He completely ignored the banter between the two children—that had been going on for years now. They acted just like siblings when they were home. "Well, there's a chance your team could come across a C-rank or two in the near future, but you'll have to prove yourself first," he answered, amused. "It's part of every shinobi's journey to gain experience and knowledge of how missions work. If you were sent out on a dangerous assignment before you're ready, well. You know how that will probably end. Until then, you'll just have to grin and bear it until you can take the Chunin Exams."

Kaiya's eyes lowered at the mention of the exams. "Riichi-sensei mentioned something like that to us before," she said. "But he wouldn't tell us anything about how to become a Chunin." Shikaku sighed and frowned in thought, rubbing the back of his neck—something he did often when Riichi was brought up. Before he could respond, she said something else. "Well, speaking of Riichi-sensei…you're the Jonin Commander, so you know things about him, don't you?" Shikaku nodded. "Can't you tell me a little about him? I mean, he's kind of…well, he's a weirdo."

The Jonin Commander suppressed a grin. His eyes swept over the ANBU agents in the trees around his home. He was so used to them by now that he hardly ever noticed them, unless one of them happened to move. But he did, however, always notice the shadow that was mixed in amongst them, sharp, yellow pupils always alert and calculating. His eyes narrowed.

"Well, let's see…I suppose I can spare a few details," he decided. He closed his eyes to think, arms still crossed. "His mother was a nurse, and his father was a carpenter; they both have passed on. He never married, so he lives alone—"

"With Mr. Cuddles," Kaiya added, snickering into her hand. Shikamaru frowned in question as Shikaku cleared his throat, doing everything he could to hold in the laughs caught there. He couldn't let her know he was aware of that.

"He's a talented shinobi, but he's a little troubled," he continued, finding his bearings. "He's a bit rebellious and doesn't like to do his best when it counts—similar to you, Kaiya—" She pouted, and Shikamaru snorted again, making her punch him harder than the first time. He winced but was too lazy to make much of a fuss about it. It happened all the time, after all. Shikaku once again heeded them no mind.

"He's distant and seems strange, it's true…but I think that's just how he copes with things. He got into some trouble recently—a situation I'm not allowed to speak about—so the Third Hokage made him your sensei as a sort of community service, to teach him some responsibility. Your team, the most difficult to manage out of this term's graduates, has to reach a certain level of success before he can be taken off probation. He has to prove himself as a capable leader to be trusted in the field again." Kaiya giggled at the thought. No wonder he seemed to hate the three of them so much.

"Well, that explains why he's such a bad teacher," she murmured, rolling her eyes. Shikaku sighed, rubbing his beard.

"Yes, well…the Third is hoping he'll learn as he goes along. Riichi has a different way of looking at the world, but that's not a bad thing. His methods are usually unorthodox, but they are efficient, so the Hokage cuts him some slack. I'm sure once you get to know him better, you'll discover that the two of you have a lot in common." Kaiya wrinkled her nose in disgust. Birds chirped softly in the distance, as if laughing at the comparison. Shikaku smirked. "Why don't you two get out of here before Yoshino finds you? I won't tell her you came by. I think you've both earned a break, eh?"

Shikamaru and Kaiya shared a look, then turned back to the older man with a nod. "Thanks!" They both took off without a second glance, waving as they ran their separate ways (Ok, Kaiya ran and Shikamaru walked at a leisure pace). Shikaku knew where both of them would go: Shikamaru would lay in his favorite spot and watch the clouds, probably with Choji, and Kaiya would go to the Hokage's office to visit, and then she'd go and train. He sighed, shaking his head as he turned around to go back inside.

What am I going to do with those two? He grinned.

Kaiya wandered around until she found the big red building of the Academy sticking out amongst the other buildings in the center of the village. She stared up at it in distaste, not sure what to think now that she was a Genin. She wasn't fond of the Academy and was thankful she didn't have to go back for another term, but this was also where the Hokage's office was, and she loved visiting Sarutobi while he was working–and this time she wasn't in trouble. Majority of the time she'd spent with him had been because he was scolding her.

She approached the Hokage's door and knocked lightly. After a couple of seconds, it was opened from the inside by a masked ANBU, who stared down at Kaiya silently–just like the others did. She tensed, having always hated when they did that. She couldn't see their facial expressions, but she pictured a scowl and a disapproving gaze beneath their guises as they glared at her resentfully. She didn't trust them and what they could be hiding behind their facades. She didn't care if they were forced to protect her. She'd always felt like they hated her just like the other villagers.

Kaiya's eyebrows furrowed slightly as she walked in, her eyes following the guard as he stepped aside for her to enter. She didn't bother saying anything to him as she approached Sarutobi.

The first thing she noticed was the smell of freshly brewed tea coming from a silver pot resting on a coaster in the corner of the wooden desk. The jasmine-scented aroma relaxed her tense muscles, and she let out a slow breath, cracking her neck as she glanced up at the Shadow of the village. Sarutobi grinned heartily, pouring her a cup of tea instinctively. He slid it across the other side of his desk, and Kaiya smiled briefly in thanks, grabbing the porcelain cup and taking a quick, refreshing sip, letting the heated liquid wash down her throat roughly.

The guard brought her a chair and set it behind her, and she sat without a word. After a few moments of sitting in content silence, the Hokage closed his eyes, folding his wrinkled yet strong hands on top of a small pile of paperwork. He opened his eyes.

"Hmm. You weren't escorted here by an authority figure, so I assume you're just here for a visit, eh?" Kaiya nodded curtly, and Sarutobi chuckled. He showed her a wide grin. "Well, in that case, why don't we just drink our tea and catch up?" She smiled briefly, nodding again.

"Yeah." They talked for half an hour undisturbed, while Kaiya told him everything that had happened from her graduation exam to that day's mission. Hiruzen laughed throughout her story, especially when she mentioned Riichi. He figured the younger man would have some difficulties being a sensei. That was exactly why he sentenced him to the job.

Yes, sentenced.

See, Riichi was a bit of a tough nut to crack, and he couldn't always be trusted to follow rules and orders from his superiors. On top of already being stubborn and lazy, opinionated and hard to manage, he was careless. On his last mission as a regular Jonin, he refused to wait for the rest of his team to arrive, and instead rushed into a battle he neglected to analyze fully. Because of his hasty and reckless decision, he was captured and had to be traded back by the village that took him captive in exchange for one of the Leaf's own prisoners, a spy from the Land of Keys. Though the Leaf had a plan to trick the enemy, it all ended in a mess, and the Jomae captive was lost. All of this couldn't just be dismissed, even by the lenient Hiruzen.

So, in light of him endangering himself and his fellow shinobi, as well as embarrassing the village (and himself) and causing the Leaf to lose an important prisoner, Hiruzen punished him by taking him off the regular duties of a Jonin and giving him the difficult job of reining in Kaiya and her two teammates, who he knew hated each other.

He wanted to teach Riichi responsibility and patience, to make him see how difficult it was for a leader to create order if one or more of their underlings didn't cooperate. He didn't want to make it easy for him, and at the same time he wanted Kaiya to learn teamwork and self-control. Team 11 was a double-edged sword, which could be truly capable of anything once they had enough experience and strength, or it could fail miserably and take down the village with it.

Knowing this risk, Hiruzen believed in Riichi's capabilities as a leader. He had to lead his team to at least the Chunin level, keeping them all together and alive until then. If they did well enough, his probation would end, and he would be reinstated to his prior obligations. So far, he was doing better than expected. However, Team 11 still had a long way to go before they reached the level of potential the Hokage believed they could attain. He wondered if Riichi would last until then.

That guy hated kids.

Hiruzen and Kaiya had a long laugh at the end, when she told him about Riichi's deepest, darkest secret. Even though the Third had already known about it, seeing it in his crystal ball, it was even funnier when Kaiya retold the story. And her wholehearted laugh, which he hadn't heard in years, made his heart light and full of joy. Here, she didn't have to restrain her emotions. This was a safe place, where she could be herself and not have to worry about revealing any vulnerabilities, such as sadness or happiness, or sometimes even fear. She was free, if just for a moment.

"Who knows, maybe he won't be such a bad sensei, once we start going on real missions," Kaiya said with a slight shrug, taking one last sip of her lukewarm tea. The sweet flavor relaxed her, and she let out a deep sigh of contentment. The ghost of a smirk crossed her face. "Well, I doubt that, but we have all been getting along for the most part, at least during training and miss—"

"Die, Old Man!" The door to the Third's office flung open, revealing a small, goofy-looking kid in a ridiculous outfit. He threw paper shuriken towards Kaiya and the Third. Reacting quickly, Kaiya jumped off her chair, flipping it over to block the shuriken as she ducked beneath it. She frowned when they bounced harmlessly off the wood and fell to the floor. She stared at the paper in disbelief, an irritated frown on her face; a sweat drop slid down the back of her head. She turned to Hiruzen in question, her eyebrow twitching.

"Who's this weirdo?" she asked, motioning to the kid behind her, hardly sparing him a second glance. "He smells funny." Sarutobi sighed in defeat and lowered his head.

"I suppose you two haven't met, have you?" He let out another sigh, rubbing his temples as the kid glared at Kaiya pointedly; she sneered in response. He looked too ridiculous for her to take him seriously. Any indication that she had been completely at peace only moments ago had vanished. "Kaiya, this is Konohamaru, my grandson." Kaiya's scowl dissipated slowly, and she turned to the Third in surprise.

"Asuma-sensei has a kid?"

"No, this is my daughter's son—Asuma's nephew," Hiruzen explained. She raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. Interesting. I didn't know you had any more kids, or a grandkid for that matter." She glanced at Konohamaru from her peripherals, frowning. "He's a little brat, though." Konohamaru studied Kaiya warily, then pointed to her heatedly.

"And who are you, wench?!" he spat. Kaiya's ears turned red as she bared her fangs at the eight-year-old, hissing at his insult.

"What did you just say, you little monster?" She approached him slowly, and Konohamaru cowered, his eyes wide with fear as sweat dripped down his brow. He shook slightly, quivering in a corner and covering his head. As Kaiya sauntered over to him, he couldn't help but think she resembled a Shinigami stalking its victim. His short life flashed before his eyes. Kaiya swooped down and grabbed onto his shirt, lifting him into the air before he could even think of escape. He felt like a mouse in the clutches of an owl; there wasn't time to blink. S-so fast! he thought frantically, squeezing his eyes shut as he cried out.

"I-I'm sorry! Please, forgive me!" Kaiya's grip tightened on Konohamaru's shirt, before it suddenly went slack. She let him drop back down to the floor with an "oomph!", walking back to the Hokage's desk without another word. She picked up her chair and set it back in position before returning to her seat in silence. She was too tired to deal with this spoiled brat. Since he was the Hokage's grandson, she couldn't just deck him right there in front of him. Well, she could, but she didn't want to ruin her streak of good behavior. But if she ever saw him alone on the street, it would be harder to convince herself not to.

"You're even more irritating than Naruto, twerp," she growled, clenching a fist as she leaned back in the wooden chair. She neglected to look up at Hiruzen, who was currently smoking his pipe, eyes closed. He gave up on trying to control Kaiya's mood swings a long time ago. He knew she wouldn't harm Konohamaru—at least not with him sitting at his desk. There was no use wasting his breath on the matter. "I've been seeing the Third like this almost as long as you've been alive, so how about you show me and the Old Geezer some respect, huh? We were in the middle of a conversation." Konohamaru paled at her smug, authoritative tone, clenching his fists. Ignoring him, she looked back at Sarutobi at last. "For cryin' out loud, how do you put up with this kid?" He only chuckled.

"I put up with you all these years, didn't I?" he retorted. "It was good practice." Kaiya's face flushed in embarrassment. Konohamaru frowned.

"Hey, you mentioned Brother Naruto before, didn't you? You know him?" he interjected. Kaiya's eyes narrowed in question as she glanced back at the eight-year-old dork. His look of disdain morphed into curiosity. Kaiya's eyebrows lifted at the name.

"Uh…I don't know anything about 'brother', but yeah. He's a nuisance. Just like you." Konohamaru growled.

"Hey, watch what you say about him!" he shouted, jumping to his feet. Kaiya blinked in surprise. "That's my rival you're talking about! We're in a battle to see who becomes Hokage, and I won't have you disrespecting him in such a way! Take it back!"

Kaiya snickered, unperturbed. "Tch. Hokage." She rolled her eyes and faced forward again, staring out the window panels behind the Third's desk. It was a good day to train, especially since she had extra time on her hands. "As if either one of you could accomplish something like that."

…

Kaiya left the Hokage's office once the tension between her and Konohamaru melted. Apparently, that blonde idiot Naruto was now rivals with an eight-year-old Academy student. Figures, she thought, shaking her head.

She yawned, rubbing her dreary eyes. Kaiya hadn't realized how exhausted she was until that moment, but it was still too early to return home. She knew that if she came back before dinner, Yoshino would pile chores on her. It's not like Kaiya enjoyed the work, but she didn't mind helping out. It might annoy most people to be forced to do such a thing for someone who wasn't even family, but that's just it—Shikaku, Yoshino, and Shikamaru treated Kaiya like she was part of their family. She had to do just as many chores as Shikamaru, and she had to abide by the same rules, and Yoshino yelled at her just as much. They had the same expectations for her as anyone else in the clan, and she even had to help with the deer herds. It made her feel like she belonged.

That being said, Kaiya didn't feel like doing chores today.

She didn't have any friends to hang out with, so it was clear that she would spend the rest of the day training. However, there was something that had been bothering her for a while now—well, for years, really—but she had never found the right opportunity to check it out. It was the middle of the day, and most people were busy, including the guards that usually followed her around the village, so she had a better chance of going unnoticed if she went right now.

Strolling toward the exit of the village, Kaiya took a right by the cluster of sweet shops owned by Unagi's family, heading into an uncommonly traveled side of the woods. She looked around at the lush, green canopy that grew thicker the further she went, flashes of her childhood coming back to her. She wondered why she hadn't been down this way in years, and then it hit her—subconsciously, she was avoiding this area. Besides, she had never been outside the village, so she had no reason to come this close to the gates.

But somewhere off to the east, just before one reached the cobblestone trail that led to the forest outside Konoha, there was an old compound hidden behind a grove of trees that couldn't be found unless you were looking for it. Once upon a time, she had come this way every day after her classes at the Academy ended. As if nothing had changed since then, she walked the path with a perfect memory of every tree and stone.

Kaiya crept into the cluster of trees, remembering every step of the worn path as if she had never strayed from the routine, though the small footpath was now covered in weeds and overgrown grass. No one had come this way in a long time. Perhaps those that knew about this place wanted it to fade from existence and memory alike.

Kaiya took a deep breath and looked up, now that her feet were clear of the tangled weeds that grabbed at her ankles menacingly, leaving tiny, irritating scratches on her feet and shins. There was an old compound before her, made of smooth mahogany once painted in vibrant colors such as purple and white and blue, now forgotten and desolate against the green of the grove, its colors faded to gray and brown, the paint worn and chipped away. Leading up to the veranda was a mosaic of a mountaintop. She had never known if it was a real place or imagined by her parents, two architects that loved to create new imaginary places that they swore they would make reality someday.

Something in Kaiya faltered, and she paused, staring at the weather-worn tiles before her. She bit her lip and clenched her fists as she fought to regain her composure. This wasn't like her—feeling strong emotions like this unprovoked. She always swallowed everything deep down–everything that would make her appear weak–even when she was alone. She kept the anger just below the surface, to protect herself. No one could know how she really felt inside. No one could know her pain. That secret was all she had, the only thing keeping her tethered to reality.

She closed her eyes and counted to ten slowly, releasing a slow breath through her nostrils. Her shoulders relaxed, and her fists unclenched. When she opened her eyes again, she began to clear away all the dissention she felt, pushing it to the back of her mind to deal with at a later time. She came here because she felt she was ready, after six years of avoiding this place. She couldn't back down now.

Kaiya's eyes lowered again to the mosaic her parents had constructed. It was old and worn from the elements, but it was still beautiful. It covered the entirety of the front yard leading up to the entrance of the compound. There was a green valley with vibrant flowers at the base of the mountain. Her parents had never told her the name of this beautiful place, but that didn't mean it didn't have one. She liked to call it 'Mt. Kami', because it looked like it belonged to a god. It was majestic and purple, with shiny obsidian rocks and tall evergreens that stretched toward the sky, as if to touch the heavens. The caps were white and icy, shining with crystals and covered partly in wispy clouds. But the best part about the mosaic was the wolves.

Grey, black, brown, red. Small, big, gigantic. Wolves of every size and color were posted on the mountain, standing guard or laying around, howling at the sky or snuggling with a cub. They were beautiful, life-like. And the grandest wolf of all was a giant, fluffy white canine with milky orange eyes. He stared straight at you, sitting on the top of the mountain, almost blending in with the peak's snow. It was like he was looking through Kaiya's soul, judging her insides, determining her future. She was mesmerized by his eyes, as if she could feel his presence in the mosaic, even as old and worn as it was now. All her distress suddenly melted away, and she felt at peace.

"Join us, little one," she heard someone beckon at the back of her mind. "We are your pack. You are part of us."

Kaiya's family wasn't part of a clan, but they did pay homage to wolves, almost like they were gods. There was a small shrine on their property that they would bring sacrifices to every now and then. She wasn't usually part of the rituals, but she could see everything happening from her bedroom window, pretending she was standing with her parents and siblings. And sometimes, when she was alone, she would take her own sacrifices to the shrine and pray to whatever spirit was supposed to live there. There were even times when she felt a presence next to her, a pair of sharp eyes staring down at her from just beyond her sight.

She had quite the imagination when she was a child.

Kaiya blinked, frowning. It's not like me to get lost in thought, she told herself, shaking her head to remove the haze from her mind. She had to focus on her mission, the reason she came to this godforsaken place. She looked up at the home before her, once filled with laughter and light and smoke exiting the chimney. Now it lay cold and dark, falling apart one board at a time, no signs of life previously inhabiting it. The grove of trees directly above the house dangled overhead and curled into one another like a second roof above the shingles. A three-meter-tall wooden fence blocked off the property, but now it was decomposed, wrapped in the remnants of faded yellow police tape.

Kaiya tried to feel some sort of emotion toward the state of the house, but she felt nothing. It surprised her, seeing as she lived in blissful ignorance here for so long, she had once believed she was loved and well taken care of. This was her home for six years, after all.

No. Kaiya frowned, shaking her head. This was no home. It was just a roof over her head, that was all. A subtle prison she had been unaware of until it was too late. It had never been anything more than that.

She glanced around in all directions, making sure there was no one near her. She always had a feeling someone was spying on her, but she figured that was just because of the ANBU who creeped in her shadow just about anywhere she went. But this time, all seemed silent. Was there truly no one tailing her today? If there had been, they would have stopped her the moment she stepped within one hundred paces of the property. She was allowed to fight other students and they wouldn't intervene, but when it came to matters of her past, they were quick to interject.

Kaiya confirmed the coast was clear and approached the decrepit fence hastily. She reached her hand out hesitantly, resting a finger on the rusted lock. The part of the fence it was attached to crumbled, and the lock fell to the ground with a heavy clank. It startled her, even though it shouldn't have. She was so nervous someone was going to hear it and discover her there, only to accuse her of being a traitor after all, even though this property had been taboo for several years now. Every little movement made her jump: the lock; the leaves scraping across the mosaic, now behind her, as the wind carried them away; the whistling of the old branches above her, and the cricketing of decaying parts on the old fence.

Gulping, she leaped over the fence, narrowly avoiding tripping over its crooked parts and police tape. Once she was on the other side, she could clearly see the front of the once-beautiful compound that her parents had designed and built themselves. The glass that remained in the front windows was murky and cracked; 'No Trespassers' and 'Keep Out' signs littered the yard, which had been hastily painted onto what was now rotting boards in even worse shape than the fence. Kaiya knew the ANBU had done this; her parents would never let such eyesores into their well-kept yard.

The front door, made of a smooth birch, was barely holding on to a single hinge, the wind shifting it to and fro, causing it to creak and groan eerily with the wind, just like the old fence.

Kaiya hesitated to approach it.

Goosebumps ran up and down her bare arms, prickling her skin like tiny needles, causing her hairs to stand on end. She took slow, deep breaths, trying to calm herself down as her anxiety flared up once again. She was relieved no one was around to see her flustered like this, because they'd never let her live it down.

She could smell a mixture of rust and sour mold from inside each time the door swung on its single hinge, and she gagged when it hit her nostrils so strongly it sent her staggering a few steps backward in a fit of sneezes. Having a keen sense of smell was both a gift and a curse. After gaining her composure, she sucked in a deep breath of fresh air and pulled her shoulders back.

I'm doing this. I'm not afraid anymore. I have to see it.