After the funeral, I do sign the contract, Arashi decides to be my primary summon as well, Mom's Genin make Chunin, and Mom starts me on training. Mom's smiles never reach her eyes, and I don't sleep.

It turns out that there is a very good reason Mom is such a feared Jonin. She is very proficient at Shadow Release- Evil Shadow Spirit Summoning. She also uses Shadow Release- Shadow Blade quite often.

Of course, the first technique I have to master is the Shadow Imitation Technique. Unfortunately chakra control doesn't come easy to me, so I foresee a lot of meditation and chakra control exercises in my future.

There's also the Nara Taijutsu style. Mom started me on katas, then promptly decided my endurance needed work. Yay, running laps. The fun thing about the Nara Taijutsu style is that it's incredibly strategic in its use. The blocks aren't so much of blocks, as they are redirecting the opponent's momentum.

The only thing that comes easily to me when it comes to the shinobi arts Mom is teaching me is throwing kunai. I may be intellectually a genius, but I'm sure not a genius in anything else.

Luckily, my aim was always good and that carried over. Also, most people in this world are right handed, so hardly anyone is going to expect a small child to throw a knife at their head with their left hand. It's glorious.

I jerk awake, gasping for air. For a moment, I don't remember where I am, then I realize Mom is gone again, and I'm in my room at Uncle Shikaku's house. I get up and walk into the bathroom. I splash cold water in my face and look up into the mirror. Tired, dark brown eyes framed with dark circles look back out at me.

I sigh, go back into my room and flop onto my bed. It's been like this since Dad died, waking up from nightmares every single night. Sometimes I'm watching him die, a new, horrible death each time, and if I'm particularly unlucky, I'm the one actually killing him. Tonight had been one of the unlucky nights, and there's no way I'm getting back to sleep.

I sigh again, roll over grab my sketchbook and pencils, and walk out of the room. I leave the house, grass crunching under my bare feet, and sit down.

The early morning or late night dew soaks into my pajama bottoms. The deer are out and about, and I take out my pencils to start sketching.

It feels like hours (It's not), before I hear grass crunching under another human's feet. "What are you doing out here, Yoruka?" Oh, so it's Uncle Shikaku.

"Not sleeping, obviously." I continue to draw.

He huffs out a laugh, "And why aren't you sleeping?"

"Can't." I don't elaborate, but he gets it anyway.

"Does your mother know about this?" He drags his hands through his hair.

"No." He looks like he wants me to say more, but I don't.

Uncle Shikaku sighs in exasperation, "And why doesn't she?"

"She has enough to worry about without me adding to that," I answer and go back to drawing the deer.

I mean for that to be the end of the conversation, but Uncle Shikaku doesn't.

Another sigh, "Yoruka, Yoruka look at me," he doesn't continue until I meet his eyes. "Not sleeping is incredibly unhealthy, especially for us. Nara's use more of their brain than most people, so we require more sleep. Tomorrow, I'm going to take you to my old teammate. He's a Yamanaka, he can help with this."

I exhale, I want to be upset about my uncle basically taking me to therapy, but I'm really... not. I am incredibly tired, so I should just let Uncle Shikaku's teammate, who is probably Yamanaka Inoichi, help me. "Ok," I whisper.

Uncle Shikaku looked surprised, as if he wasn't expecting me to agree that easily. "Alright, I'm assuming you won't go back to sleep, so I'll leave you to your art until it's time to go."

I go to someone who is most definitely Yamanaka Inoichi's house in pajamas because I'm four and I want to take advantage of being able to go everywhere in pajamas while I can. Uncle Shikaku explains the situation while I rest my eyes.

"Well, Yoruka, I'm Inoichi, do you mind if I take a look at your psyche? I'll just be doing a mind walk to look at your nightmares, and I won't touch anything else," Inoichi says.

"Yeah, that's fine," I sigh exhaustedly.

"Great, we'll go ahead and get started!" How is this man so cheerful?

Inoichi makes a handsign, then I'm in the dream from last night. I'm running through the forest at shinobi speeds, and soon I'm in a clearing, my father in front of me. "Yoruka, dear, what are you doing out here?" He asks me.

He looks so confused, and then betrayed when I move forward to drive my kunai through is heart.

Then there's blood on my hands, on my face, and I'm screaming. My dad is laying on the ground in front of me bleeding out. Then his eyes open, only they're red, not blue.

And he speaks, "This is your fault, Yoruka. If I hadn't been so worried about getting home to you, I would still be alive! You killed me!" He snarls. Only it's not his voice, it's some disjointed mockery of his voice. And I'm crying again, I'm always crying.

I gasp as my eyes fly open, remnicient to this morning. Inoichi looks troubled. "It seems as if you're blaming yourself for your father's death. I know it won't help hearing this from me, but it's most certainly not your fault."

"I know it's not, it's just... subconscious, I guess." I squeeze my hands together.

"I think you need to talk to your mother about this, Yoruka. But in the meantime, I'll prescribe you with some sleeping pills, I am a certified psychiatrist after all!" He cracks a small smile at the last part. "Shikaku, if you'll bring her back next week, we can talk again, see if I can help her mental state as well." Uncle Shikaku nods to Inoichi.

"We're not training today, kid. You need to sleep," Shikaku states. And that's that.

Talking with Inoichi helps, as do the sleeping pills. Now that I'm actually sleeping, my Taijutsu has improved greatly, and Uncle Shikaku started me on a stretching routine to build flexibility.

It's basically ninja yoga. I'm going to be creepily flexible when I'm an adult, and it's going to be great. Also, it's a huge power move to back bend out of an attack.

Mom comes home. She's more tired than she usually is. I guess she's trying to cope by working herself into the ground. "Hey, Mom, we need to talk." I fidget nervously.

Mom frowns, "Yoruka? What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I... I haven't been sleeping well. Nightmares," I look at my feet, "and I didn't want to worry you, so I've been dealing with it. Uncle Shikaku took me to Inoichi, and he says I need to talk to you about it-"

"Yoruka," Mom interrupts, "I'm your mom, I'm always worrying about you. Now, how about you tell me what these nightmares are about."

I take a deep breath, "I'm either watching Dad die or killing him myself, and then Dad's corpse wakes up and blames me. Inoichi says I'm subconsciously blaming myself for his death."

Mom considers me for a while, then inhales, "Sweetheart, it's not your fault, and your father... Takeshi would never want you to blame yourself for his death."

"I know," I sob, "but I can't help but to think that if hadn't been close to my birthday, he wouldn't have died. He wanted to make it back for it, so", I gasp for breath, "so, he might have been unfocused, and that can get you killed."

Oh, I'm crying again, I distantly realize. Mom hugs me to her chest. "Oh, sweetheart," she whispers, "Your father was killed infiltrating Kirigakure, but it wasn't because he was unfocused. Kumo has the same idea as us, and they sent an infiltrator too. You see, no information has been getting in or out of Kiri since the third Mizukage took the hat. The Kumo nin got caught, so the Kiri nin were all on high alert and caught your father. The only reason we know anything about what happened in Kiri, was because your father managed to get Arashi the information, and Arashi managed to use his own chakra to keep him grounded in our world long enough to get a message to the Hokage."

I'm crying harder now, "So you see, it's not your fault. Your dad is a hero," Mom tells me, though the last sentiment sounds hollow.

We stay like that for a while. I think we both needed to cry and hug after everything that has happened.

I start to go back through her explanation, Kiri is responsible. I'm probably going to need to be ANBU to fight Kiri nin, then.

"What's this?" I stare uncomprehendingly at Arashi and the lynx cub in his mouth.

Arashi sets down the cub, "This is Rai, and the queen said you need to train a secondary summon, because apparently I'm getting old!" He spits out.

I snicker, Rai flat out laughs, and Arashi turns up his nose at both of us. I can already tell we're going to get on wonderfully.