Verse: 4 times Tsuna picked up everyone's slack and the 1 time he didn't.

Warning: Angry, legally-dead-inside Tsuna.

1. April

Tsuna had been working in the restaurant for 2 months and was already exhausted. The kitchen was hot and loud, and there wasn't a moment to take a breath. What was even worse was the bullying. God, he thought it'd end at middle school but no. Apparently life had a bone to pick with him. It wasn't too extreme, and never in front of the waiters or manager, but the cooks would go out of their way to shove him around and break dishes whenever they could to pin the blame on him. Furuta, the manager, was a kind old woman, though everyone had their limits. This might just be his last day, and honestly, Tsuna didn't give a damn.

Until the whole fucking kitchen walked out on him.

Tsuna lowered his eyes when Sato, the head chef, passed by, but that didn't deter the other man from bumping into his shoulder and knocking him into the sink. Gasping, Tsuna almost slipped when his hands gripped onto the wet counter top. There were knives in there, alright? He might hate his life but he wasn't that fucking desperate.

Sato jeered while the other cooks snickered. "We're gonna take a quick smoke. Don't blow up the place." They all sauntered out the back door, letting a rush of cool air into the hot kitchen, before shutting it with a loud bang.

Tsuna could only stare incredulously at the exit. "W—Wait!" he said, scrambling after them. All of the chef's cars were gone from the parking lot. The sight nearly knocked all the air out of his lungs. Were they seriously going to do this to him? What the actual fuck?

Numb, Tsuna slowly walked back inside and stared at all the sizzling pans and messy cutting boards. Should he just throw in the towel, too? The doors banged open before Kyoko walked in, her eyes on her notepad. "We have some—Tsuna!" When she looked up, her eyes widened. "Where is everyone?"

"They walked out for the smoke of their lives apparently."

"What? What do you mean?"

Kyoko flinched when Tsuna dropped a knife in the sink with a loud clatter. "Look, I appreciate you getting the job for me, Kyoko, I really do, but this—this is too much. I'm done. I quit. You know this is fucked up. Hell, I bet even Furuta-san would agree, too."

Kyoko pursed her lips. "I'm going to kill them."

Tsuna laughed bitterly. "Too late. They're probably in Kyoto by now. I don't know, and I don't fucking care. I hope they get run over by a truck, a lot of trucks. Anyways, I'm done."

"But…" Kyoko trailed off, unsure of what to say. She peeked outside the doors before coming back inside. "Furuta-san's going to flip."

Tsuna scrubbed a pot a little too roughly. "I'd flip. Probably do cartwheels, too."

"Okay." Kyoko walked over and gripped Tsuna's shoulders, turning him towards her. "Tsuna, I know this sucks but we can't close now. Do you know who just walked through the doors?"

Tsuna groaned. "Kyoko, don't—"

"Vongola."

"Cute, clams can walk now. What else is new this amazing evening?"

"No, Tsuna, Vongola. As in the huge business conglomerate all the way from Italy Vongola. Eight of their executives are here."

Tsuna deadpanned. "Oh, that Vongola. Also, why do you think they call themselves clam?"

"Tsuna."

Heaving a deep sigh, Tsuna stared up at the white ceiling. "You want me to pull off something ridiculous just for this one night, and because I'm such a sucker, I'll do it."

"It's just one night, Tsuna. After that, you can leave. I won't stop you."

Tsuna grimaced. "Menu might be different though. I can't cook all of that without help."

Kyoko nodded. "I'll keep Furuta-san from coming in. What do you need me to do?"

"Just…" Tsuna sighed. "Tell the customers it's surprise day or some shit. I'll think of something."

He grunted when Kyoko pulled him into a quick hug. "You're the best, Tsuna. I'm so sorry this happened, but I'm here for you. You can do this."

"I honestly can't wait to go back to uni," Tsuna deadpanned.

Kyoko laughed. After she left, Tsuna looked around the kitchen and sighed again. Rolling his neck, he turned off the sink, dried his hands and set to work. Soon, dishes were leaving the kitchen at a steady pace again and Tsuna felt marginally better—marginally. Cooking was a hobby he picked up when university and life got too hard, and he didn't want it to be a job. Still, he relaxed while chopping up vegetables and grilling steak on the pans. The thought of them being his dick coworkers was pretty therapeutic, too.

"Tsuna-san," I-pin said, placing the empty bowl she carried inside the sink. Honestly, she kind of scared him because she could probably snap him like a twig. He'd seen her fight before with rowdy customers. Though he was tempted to see her beat up the cooks. When Kyoko told her what happened, I-pin looked like she'd actually explode.

"Another miso soup?" Tsuna said. "There's an extra bowl. Do you mind pouring it? My hands are kind of full, sorry."

"Oh, no problem! I can do it!"

It was no secret that I-pin had a crush on one of the Vongola executives. Apparently it was Hibari Kyoya, the terrifying prefect from Tsuna's middle school way back when. He thought she could choose someone better, but now that he thought about it, they'd probably go perfect together with their fighting prowess. Still could've chosen better…

"Tell him I'll beat him up if he makes you cry," Tsuna said, pouring sauce over the steak.

I-pin turned red. "Tsuna-san!"

The brunet just cackled when she hurried out the door. Closing time couldn't have come any faster. When Kyoko came to let him know there were no more orders and he was good to go, Tsuna grabbed an empty bucket and sat on it, nearly falling over. He almost dozed off until Furuta barged inside the kitchen.

"Everyone, you did such a great job!" she said, cupping her cheeks. "Oh, the Vongola executives were very happy with their food, but let me know beforehand if you're changing the me—Huh? Sawada-kun? Where is everyone?"

"That's the question of the evening, Furuta-san," Tsuna muttered.

The cooks had fantastic timing, he'd give them that. They sauntered inside the kitchen, clearly looking like they had a good couple of drinks, and laughed wildly without a care in the world until they saw Furuta. They shut up right after and Tsuna wanted to laugh. He just couldn't. Well, they were fired on the spot. That was nice.

2. May

Tsuna was being a little too nice. Furuta managed to convince him to stay as the newly-appointed head chef until she found a new one. In the meantime, he was stuck with a bunch of lazy fucks who didn't listen to a word he was saying. He wasn't cut out to be a leader. That was something he realized when he tried to get his sorry excuse of a group to get their shit together for a business class. Needless to say, he had to scramble last-minute to save their project, which wasn't enough anyways. They barely managed a B.

"Tanaka, you're boiling the potatoes too long," Tsuna said for the millionth time.

"Hmm?" the younger cook said, looking up from her shoes. "Oh, sorry."

Tsuna clicked his tongue. "You're not fucking sorry, you're fucking incompetent. Move over." He opened the pot and grimaced when a large puff of hot, white steam blew in his face. The potatoes were mushy at this point, unusable. "I'm sorry, was mashed potatoes on the menu? Why can't you boil some fucking potatoes? Cooking school, my ass."

Tanaka just hummed a noncommittal response. Alright, Tsuna wasn't fucking blind. Before he could snatch the cook's phone from her apron, I-pin barged through the doors. She briefly gave the other lounging cooks a none-too-subtle disgusted eye—okay, Tsuna was tempted in adopting her as his sister or something—then turned to him with a frown. "Tsuna-san, there's a large order for a group."

Tsuna snapped his fingers twice to get Tanaka's attention. "You, get out."

Tanaka blinked. "Huh?"

"You're not fucking deaf. Get the hell out of my kitchen. You're fired, done. Go."

Instead of talking back, Tanaka just shrugged. She was already dialing a number before she exited through the back door. Tsuna pinched the bridge of his nose when Aoba came to him for the thousandth time with a pan of very burnt fish. "This good enough?" he said.

Tsuna was tempted to whack the man's face with the frying pan and shove the fish down his throat. Instead, he took the pan and placed it on the grill. "Get out."

Aoba left without a backwards glance. Sighing, Tsuna gestured I-pin to read off the orders. "Ah, and one of them insisted on having marshmallow for dessert," she said at the end. "I told him I'd ask you so…"

"Ido, get over here," Tsuna said. He groaned when the last cook remaining in the kitchen was still chopping his fourth fucking carrot at the pace of a snail. "You"—he pulled out a couple of yen bills from his jeans and shoved them in the yawning cook's hands—"go to the closest place and buy some marshmallows and graham crackers. The small ones, miniature. I hope you know how to fucking read. Keep the change. Oh also, you're fired, too."

"Cool," Ido said, taking the money.

"If you don't come back in the next ten minutes, I'll make sure you never give your girlfriend a good fuck again."

Ido paled and promptly left the kitchen with a stumble. Tsuna turned to I-pin with a blank look. "Is that everything?"

"Um, well, Furuta-san said that the guests are very important," I-pin said. "They're Millefiore."

"The huge tech company? Okay, since when did this place start getting the big shots?"

I-pin tried to smile reassuringly. "We've been getting more popular because of Tsuna-san's cooking!"

"…I just need Furuta-san to find a new chef."

After I-pin patted Tsuna's arm to offer some comfort, she left to wait on more tables. Tsuna took over the whole kitchen by himself again and made some random dishes with what little manpower and botched-up ingredients he had. Seriously, he and Furuta-san checked all of the line cooks' backgrounds. They came from decent cooking schools, had some experience and were supposedly competent.

Of course they had to be lazy fucks, but why couldn't they be capable, lazy fucks? Tsuna only asked for one thing, and apparently, he can never get it, not in this lifetime. Made a guy wonder what he did to deserve this.

Somehow dinner service managed to run smoothly. When I-pin came back with a ridiculous order of "more of the chef's delicious cakes" for Millefiore's boss, Tsuna almost flipped. He only made five strawberry graham cracker cakes because Ido bought a little more than necessary after Tsuna scared him off, and this marshmallow fucker was asking for more.

In the end, Kyoko managed to calm him down and convince him to just pack two of the cakes for Millefiore's boss to take home or wherever his weird ass came from. Tsuna almost threw in the towel until Furuta came to him with a teary-eyed apology and promised to look harder for a new head chef. He had already caved in when he saw her cry.

3. June

Tsuna left the kitchen for one fucking second. Okay, maybe not. He was prone to exaggerating sometimes but he digressed. One minute Tsuna was helping Kyoko with a flickering light in the hallways and the next, he was witnessing his dumbass line cooks throwing fish and cabbages at each other like goddamn kids. Actually, that was an insult to children everywhere. They were smarter than these shits.

"What the—" A turnip smacked his ear, making him yelp, but that didn't deter the other cooks.

"Hey, that's a foul!" Nakamura said, slapping Suzuki's leg with a leek. "You're supposed to hit them, not the bunny man!"

Tsuna's brow twitched. Did that little shit just call him a fucking bunny man?

"Well then, get out of my way!" Suzuki said, hurling a tomato at Kimura's face. "Ha! Got ya!"

Tsuna didn't even bother to yell at them. He was tired, one of the courses he needed to graduate got cancelled next semester, and he only lived once, right? So he headed for the cutlery wall, casually dodging flying vegetables and fish on the way, and grabbed a butcher's knife. Twirling it in his hand, he found small comfort in the handle's weight. Oh, he was so fucking ready to chop off the idiots' heads—but he wasn't exactly ready to go to jail yet.

The kitchen doors opened before I-pin walked inside. "Tsuna-san, we have new g—Tsuna-san!"

Tsuna hurled the knife at a flying fish with alarming precision. It stabbed the poor dead creature and pinned it to the wall with a loud thump. Its flesh squished against the surface, spilling thin streams of blood down its dull scales.

Everyone looked at Tsuna with wide eyes in a mix of shock, horror and awe (definitely I-pin). "That'll be you in the next five seconds if you don't get your fucking things and leave," Tsuna said in the stunned silence. "And don't even think about coming back. I hope you all get herpes and die on the road like the sad trash you are."

No one moved; and while Tsuna liked the little power trip he was on, there were people to fucking feed and a dinner service to finish. He might hate this job, but that wasn't an excuse to shirk his duties. Ah, maybe he should follow up on Haru's invitation to the job fair this weekend. Hell, he'd choose a desk job over this shit any day.

Tsuna raised a brow. "Well? I don't mind making cannibals out of the customers. Do you—" He had never seen anyone run so fast in his life. As soon as the dumb cooks left, the sight of the kitchen's mess smacked Tsuna's face like a ton of bricks. "Fucking hell…"

"That was amazing, Tsuna-san!" I-pin said, her eyes shining. "You have such nice precision! I think my big brother would be amazed, too! You have great potential to learn martial arts! Would you like me to introduce you?"

Tsuna grabbed a mop and started to clean the floor, careful of the slippery tiles. "Sorry, I-pin, but I'm not in the mood to learn how to break wood. What I do want to learn is how to clean the fucking kitchen in two seconds. Can your brother do that?"

I-pin tapped her chin in thought. "Actually, he can. Big Brother is very fast."

"I would love you ten times more if you can call him over to clean this shit."

I-pin laughed sheepishly. "Well, he is in Shanghai for business now."

Tsuna sighed. "I tried. What are the orders?"

I-pin frowned. "I can help you clean up, Tsuna-san."

"You have tables to wait on and I don't want Furuta-san coming in here wondering where you are. It's fine. Just tell me the orders."

"Well…it's Varia that came in."

Tsuna deadpanned. "Are you fucking kidding me? Can't it ever be a school group or something? People with below-than-average tastes? Little kids who like cheap chicken nuggets?"

Of course, he knew who Varia was. The whole world knew how terrifying the group of lawyers was. Yeah, lawyers; more specifically, they were criminal prosecutors. Ironic since they acted like a bunch of crooks themselves. At least they have a godly work ethic and did their jobs properly more or less, Tsuna thought, throwing out some ruined lettuce in the garbage can.

Dinner continued without a hitch, though Tsuna had never seen someone order so much steak in one sitting. If he hadn't known Varia were the customers, he would've thought a family of fucking lions just waltzed in the restaurant. It had gone to the point where he told Kyoko that he wouldn't make it for them anymore since there were other customers to worry about. That went about as well as he'd might expect. He could hear Squalo Superbi's infamous "Voi!" all the way from the private quarters and ring in the back of his head half an hour later.

Also, because he didn't want to get sued six ways to Sunday—he didn't know what they'd sue him with but he was pretty sure they could think of something, even if it was bullshit, and make it stick—he managed to snag some drinks from Hana and made some boozy whiskey ice cream floats for dessert so the men could kindly get the fuck out. Tsuna didn't even bother making more when they asked.

He was ready to throw in the towel. It was already in his hand by the time Furuta came in the kitchen to apologize again. She gave him an unexpected bonus though, and Tsuna was pathetically desperate. Hey, he had textbooks to pay for, alright? One more month, he'd give it one more month…

4. July

"May I use the bathroom, chef?" Chiba said.

Tsuna scoffed. "What is this, fucking kindergarten? Did you at least finish the scallops?"

The woman nodded. "Yes, chef! I arranged them on the dishes like you've asked as well."

Finally, some competent cooks. Tsuna had been wary of continuing to work in the restaurant but he was short on money, and realistically speaking, quitting now would fuck him over. He wasn't about to ask his parents for more money when they could barely make it themselves. But this month had been bearable, and that made Tsuna more relieved than suspicious.

"Alright," he said after checking the perfectly seared scallops. "Just come back quick."

"Yes, chef!" With that, Chiba left in a whirl.

"Takeuchi, what's the status on that sauce? Are you going to make me ask you twice?"

"No, chef!" the lanky man said. He ran over with a small pot of brown sauce and showed it to Tsuna. "Is this fine?"

"Well, you didn't burn it. Work on the next batch."

"I'll do that when I come back from the bathroom, chef!" Takeuchi grimaced. "Is that okay?" He laughed sheepishly. "My stomach hasn't been feeling well since this morning so…"

Tsuna pursed his lips. "Then why bother coming in at all? How'd you even last this long?" He sighed. What could he do? He understood the mindset. Admitting you were sick was a weakness and earned no paycheck. He'd be a hypocrite if he didn't agree. "You know what, forget it. Go. You'll work on the vegetables when you come back."

Takeuchi gave him a salute. "Thank you, chef!"

It took Tsuna a few minutes to realize that the kitchen was empty. Furrowing his brows, he stared at all the empty stations while handing Kyoko a tray of orders. "Hey, is diarrhea contagious?"

Kyoko winced when she noticed the empty kitchen. "I'm so sorry, Tsuna."

"Sorry's not gonna bring them back. Where the hell are they? Having an orgy?"

"I can go check for you! But I think I have a good guess to what they're doing."

Tsuna deadpanned. "Do I even want to know?"

"Well, Arcobaleno is here…"

Alas, Tsuna shouldn't have thought things were any better. The Arcobaleno was composed of heirs to the biggest companies in the world ranging from military weapons to renewable energy. They were the elite of the elite, and Tsuna was hating them every second the kitchen was empty. Fuck, couldn't his cooks get wet after their shift?

"Tell them they're fired," he said. "Actually no." He wiped his hands on his apron. "I'll do it."

A mischievous gleam shone in Kyoko's eyes as she followed him out. Like a man on a mission, Tsuna walked with the intent to kill. Maybe he could hit up the Varia when he got arrested with the offer of a good steak and whiskey as compensation for being a poor bastard. Tsuna ignored the customers' lively chatter and headed straight for the VIP section. With the money they were generating, the restaurant had some nice renovations the past few weeks.

Tsuna immediately sniffed out where his cooks were. They weren't exactly that subtle. While Chiba and Takeuchi were chatting up the Arcobaleno like a storm, Hasegawa and Maeda were whispering to each other and snapping some pictures with their phones. They were so caught up in their conversation that they didn't notice Tsuna sneak up behind them. "Whatcha lookin' at?" he said, making them jump. "Oh look, unsolicited pictures. You know you can be sued for stalking and harassment over this, right?" He grabbed their phones and deleted the pictures, ignoring their indignant cries. "Think of it as my last goodwill service to you dumb fucks. Now get out. You're fired."

Kyoko had to cover her mouth with her menu to keep herself from laughing too loudly. She knocked on the door to catch everyone's attention. "Please excuse me," she said, coughing into her fist.

Chiba's smile strained a little when she saw Tsuna stalk towards her. Takeuchi looked like he'd really shit his pants. "Oh, and that's our wonderful head chef Sawada-san," Chiba said.

"Don't try to butter me up, you little shit," Tsuna said, grabbing the back of her shirt. He ignored when Skull, the heir to the automobile conglomerate Carcassa, choked on his drink. "And you"—he grabbed Takeuchi like he was an unruly kitten—"you're so full of shit, I'm surprised they're even letting you near them." Colonnello, the second heir to the military weapons manufacturing company Falco, poorly disguised a laugh with a wheeze. His older sister, Lal Mirch, coughed to the side.

Tsuna dragged the horrified cooks by their collars out the room. "Sorry. Please understand that their inappropriate behavior isn't a reflection of the restaurant or the kitchen, yadda yadda yadda. Also, due to shortage of manpower, the menu's moot at this point. Next round of drinks are on me. Enjoy."

Kyoko closed the door behind him before taking new orders from the Arcobaleno. Tsuna didn't stop until he threw the cooks out of the restaurant doors. "You're fired," he said. "Now fuck off."

The customers, who were mostly regulars, didn't bat an eye at the display, already used to Tsuna firing the cooks like clockwork. When he passed by the bar, he waved Hana over and gestured at the VIP section. "Give them another round of what they ordered. It's on me."

Hana raised a brow. "What's up with you?"

"I still hate this job and my life. I'll save some dessert for you later."

When Kyoko came back with some compliment from the Arcobaleno, Tsuna was too tired to care. He baked a 2 layer chocolate espresso cake as another "sorry my lackeys were dumb shits" and had I-pin deliver it to them. Apparently her big brother was Fon, the heir to the popular skincare and herbal company Lichi, so Tsuna baked them some almond cookies to take home as thanks for I-pin being the best non-blood related little sister he was fortunate to ever have.

And if Kyoko commented on how this seemed like a goodbye when Tsuna handed her a batch of nicely-wrapped easy berry cheesecakes, he didn't say a word.

5. August

There were three weeks left until university started. But most importantly, he finally had the guts to tell Furuta he wouldn't be working in the restaurant anymore (ever) starting next week. She didn't complain or beg him to stay longer. Instead, she thanked him for his hard work and apologized for putting him through so much stress. Tsuna, being the sorry sucker he was, said he'd stay for another week.

Well, by the end of the first week, he was ready to dive into a pool of boiling water. Yes, pool.

"I don't think the dish should look like this, chef," Watanabe said with a small sniff. "While I do recognize your skills as a cook, you didn't graduate from a cooking school, did you?"

Tsuna rolled his eyes. "Boo fucking hoo, what do you want me to do, dickwad? Sorry I didn't come from some state of the art cooking institution, but I can fucking cook. Can you?" He stabbed Watanabe's cutting board with his knife, making everyone flinch. "Oh look at that, you're still not done with your fucking carrots. Chop chop, you little shit, get to work."

"Um, chef," Matsumoto said, pointing at a dish Tsuna was preparing, "you should use the olive oil more sparingly."

Tsuna's brow twitched. Before he could say a word, I-pin and Kyoko both stormed inside the kitchen, their eyes wide.

"Tsuna-san, Big Brother and his friends are here and Hibari-san is also here with his friends!" I-pin said in one breath.

"I managed to separate Millefiore and Varia so they don't kill each other!" Kyoko said a little too cheerfully.

Tsuna narrowed his eyes. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He looked at the other cooks who were clearly not doing what he instructed them to do. Kyoko and I-pin both winced when he threw his towel on the counter. "You know what, fuck this. I'm done. It's what, Saturday? Technically, I'm not even supposed to work anymore, so I think this is justified." He glared at the other cooks who didn't even bat an eye. "If you think you can do so much better, go ahead. You got big guests to feed."

Kyoko just sighed. "I'll tell Furuta-san. Don't leave though. You need to eat and I know you haven't stocked your fridge yet. Dinner's on me."

Tsuna waved her off. "It's fine. I can pay for it. Thanks though." He gave the kitchen the finger while he walked out. "Hope you burn in hell, assholes."

After changing into his comfy shirt and shorts, Tsuna plopped down at the bar and ordered a shot of tequila. When he downed it in one go, he sighed in content. "Shit, I missed this."

"Next one's on me," Hana said.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

When Hana wrinkled her nose, Tsuna laughed. He downed the next shot Hana gave him and watched in vindictive glee when dishes were continuously sent back to the kitchen from the VIP section. The restaurant was full tonight with talking and smiling customers, and soft pop music played in the background. When Tsuna downed his third shot, he slipped some bills over the counter. "Thanks, Hana," he said, grabbing his backpack. "I'll see ya when classes start."

Hana raised a brow. "You're not eating?"

"Nah, not here. The food's gonna taste like shit. I'll just go somewhere else. Night."

"Text Kyoko when you get home."

With a jaunty wave, Tsuna left the restaurant and breathed in the sweet evening air. Ah, freedom. It wasn't too hot out, which was a blessing. He took a moment to stretch his aching arms above his head, then wondered where to eat. He was kind of craving sushi.

"Tsuna-san, are you leaving already?" I-pin's voice carried over the packed parking lot. The young woman ran over and leapt to give him a hug. "I'll miss you! Don't forget me, okay?"

Tsuna laughed and ruffled her hair. "Why would I forget you, I-pin? I'll come visit. Actually, never mind. I think I need some distance from this place. Kyoko can give you my number if you want to text or something."

I-pin frowned. "You won't eat before you go?"

"Nope. I was thinking about getting sushi."

"Okay. Oh, and also, I really liked the cookies you made! Big Brother, too!" I-pin's grin grew wider. "And his friends liked your cake too! Even Reborn-san!" She leaned in to whisper, "He's not an easy person to please."

"Riveting. Well, I gotta go now, but keep in touch." Tsuna waved. "Night, I-pin."

The bell jingled behind them as the restaurant doors opened. "Oh hey, it's you!" Skull said, pointing at Tsuna.

"I-pin, what are you doing out here?" Fon said. "Are you already finished with your shift?"

I-pin shook her head. "No, I was just saying goodbye to Tsuna-san."

"And that's my cue," Tsuna said, slowly backing away. "Bye, I-pin."

But God, it was like his life just hated him. Behind the Arcobaleno, the other groups started pouring out. Tsuna couldn't leave because all of a sudden fucking Colonnello appeared out of nowhere and said, "You're the head chef, aren't you? Why aren't you in the kitchen, kora?"

"Yeah, no wonder the food tasted different," Lal Mirch said.

"Who what now?" Tsuna deadpanned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

When he turned, a white-haired man suddenly latched onto him like a koala and started whining, "Tsuna-chan, make me more marshmallow cakes!"

Making a face, Tsuna tried to pry the man off, not caring if he ruined the man's nice suit. "What are you doing? Get off of me! And did you just call me what I think you just called me?"

Pouting, a short blue-haired woman—girl?—latched onto Tsuna's waist. "Please, Tsuna-chan! I want more cake, too!"

"Who the—Get off of me, you little shit! Anyone have a knife?"

Bel hopped over and held a shiny knife out for him from God knew where. "Here you go, princess."

Tsuna promptly turned away from him. "Anyone else have a knife?"

Yamamoto Takeshi laughed. "You're really funny."

"It won't be funny when I'm in jail for murder." Tsuna clicked his tongue and tried to shove Byakuran and Bluebell off. "Jesus, what are you fucking made of? Super glue? Get off! I'm going to sue you! This is harassment, assault, everything!"

He blinked when Xanxus of all people handed him a card. At some point, Kikyo and Ghost managed to wrangle the two childish adults away. "You can call whenever, brat," Xanxus said, his eyes disturbingly serious.

Tsuna took a step back. "Um, thanks but I'm broke." He jumped when Lussuria suddenly sidled up next to him.

"It's alright!" Lussuria said. "Your steak and desserts are enough as compensation."

"You'll need to make them every day for three years in order to reimburse your lawyer fees," Viper said. He paused for a moment. "If you're able to make homemade strawberry milk, that will deduct the fees by 3%."

"Hey, you're supposed to be on our side!" Skull said.

"How come you weren't in the kitchen, Tsuna-san?" Rokudo Nagi said, appearing out of nowhere. Okay, were they all fucking ghosts or something? Was this all just in Tsuna's head? "Ah, can I…call you Tsuna-san?"

The bus stop was right there. If he just took 10 more steps, he'd be away from this weird shitfest. "I'm not working here anymore," he said.

"And where will you be working now?" Rokudo Mukuro said, not batting an eye when Hibari Kyoya gave him the side-eye.

When Tsuna noticed Hibari, he did a double-take. He looked between him and Fon several times in confusion. "Wait, you have a crush on him? They could be fucking twins. What the hell, I-pin?"

Hibari growled at the mention of being compared to Fon while the other man just smiled pleasantly. "We are actually cousins," he said. "I-pin has always admired him since she was young, but I can assure you it's not at all romantic."

I-pin flushed. "Big Brother!"

"Okay, that's still kind of wack," Tsuna said. He shook his head. "Never mind that. I'm not cooking in a fucking kitchen anymore. Look, I really want to just drown myself in whiskey or some shit. I'm not in the mood for this. Sorry if your dinner was crap, but that's not my problem. Take it up with the kitchen."

"Ah, Tsuna-san, isn't that your bus?" I-pin said, pointing at the distance.

Tsuna widened his eyes when his bus stopped at the corner of the street. "Shit!" He sprinted down the road, but not before looking over his shoulder and yelling, "Bye, I-pin!"

He nearly collapsed in the seat after paying his fare. Panting, he wondered if he should start hitting the gym at some point. He shrugged as he took out of his phone. Whatever, he just wanted sushi.

When he left his first class two weeks later, he didn't expect a whole rush of students crowding around the gates or Byakuran to take off his sunglasses and yell, "Tsuna-chan, I'm here for my cake!"

Bluebell jumped up at an impossible height despite her short stature. "Me too, me too!"

Tsuna also didn't expect Varia walking towards his lecture building like models on a runway and awestruck students trailing behind their heels. "What the actual fuck?" Slowly, he backed away until he bumped into a hard chest behind him.

"Chaos," a deep voice said. "It seems we all had the same thing in mind, Tsuna, but I think we have the better deal."

Tsuna didn't care if it was Renato Sinclair, A.K.A. Reborn, the heir to the huge trading company Leon, or Jesus fucking Christ. He jabbed the man's stomach with his elbow and sprinted like hell off campus.

He didn't even bother looking back, but the sound of screeching car wheels made him run faster. God, someone just kill him now.

A/N Ahaha, this was kind of…just born, I guess. I hope you enjoyed it! :'^)

Also, you're more than welcome to keep dropping ideas/themes! I'll try to get to them soon when I can. There's some good ones out there. :^D

Thank you for reading!

Have a lovely day~

Little Miss Bunny