The mood in the SAMBEL clubhouse was somber.

When Jimmy and Peter had walked into Maureen's apartment, Mac had immediately known that something had gone wrong with the guys' plan. But reality was even worse than she'd imagined.

Jax had quietly filled them all in on the details of the truck explosion, and Mac had returned the favor, telling him all about Jimmy and Peter's visit.

As relieved as Mac was that none of SAMCRO had been killed, it was intensely difficult for her not to go comfort Chibs when she learned of Padraic's death. She kept an eye on him, nursing a beer, listening as the guys discussed everything that had occurred. It seemed that the SAMBEL leadership was certain the explosion that had killed Padraic was designed by the Ulster Loyalists.

Mac wasn't so sure.

When he had a free moment, Mac wandered over to Jax again.

"Hey, VP." she said, bumping his shoulder.

"Hey Mac."

"How are you doing?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? Seeing Peter again… that couldn't have been easy."

Mac shrugged.

"Not my favorite day. But look, I wanted to mention something. About the explosion, I've had another thought."

Jax nodded.

"I'm not sure you're looking in the right place. I wouldn't assume it was the UVF."

He eyed her, and Mac saw the same sort of the understanding in his eyes that she'd been feeling since they'd met the SAMBEL guys.

"What do you think?" Jax asked carefully.

"The same thing that you do. Start looking within SAMBEL. Something's wrong here."

Jax nodded. Something had darkened his eyes further, and Mac watched as he took off towards Chibs. She slid back to the bar, motioning for another beer. She slid a butterfly knife out of her boot, absently twisting it around her fingers as she considered that a traitor might be in their midst.

Moments later, an argument erupted.

"I'm no' leavin' ya!" Chibs shouted.

Mac turned to watch, noticing that Jax had been joined by quite a few of the SAMCRO charter.

"You should take your girls and go while you can!" Jax said, but Chibs shook his head.

"I'll no' say it again."

For the briefest moment, his eyes flashed to Mac, whose heart seized.

Just as quickly, they were gone.

She continued to drink as the guys continued to argue, considering the weight in her chest. What had once been raw anger was dissipating, or at least evolving into pain.

Mac missed him.

So the very last thing she wanted was for Fiona to sit down next to her, slamming a bottle of something stronger on the counter. She poured them out a few shots, and pushed Mac's towards her. Not a request.

The motion of Mac's butterfly knife stopped. She paused, thinking a moment before accepting.

"Fiona." she said, toasting her. They drank in silence.

"You're sleepin' with ma husband." Fiona said, and Mac sighed.

"Slept with, actually. Past tense." she said. "He… we blew it, I guess. I don't know."

Fiona looked at her steadily.

"I'm gonnae tell ya wha' I know ta be true. Because I like ya, and it takes the righ' kind o' woman to survive a man like Peter."

Mac looked up.

"The truth is, Filip and I were fallin' apart long before Jimmy. Jimmy jus'… knew how ta take advantage of all the ways we didn'a work together. I'll always love Filip, but in tha' abset way ya love extended family. In ma heart, I'm no' in love with 'im. He'll always be tha father of ma child. But only tha'."

"He loves our Kerrianne, Mac, and he's stay with me, for her. He's a good father. But Kerrianne and I belong here, and there are too many bad memories for Filip ta stay. He'll end up back in Charming, with his brothers. No' before freein' us from Jimmy, I hope, but he won' stay forever."

"I've know tha' man for as long as anyone, so believe me when I say that he loves you. He thinks the sun rises and sets on ya. Ya've changed him, an' for the better. An' I don't know wha' he did, but go easy on him, lass. The man doesn'a love easy."

Mac sighed. She flipped the knife around again.

"I don't know, Fi. I've heard that all from him before. And then he accused me of sleeping with Cameron, and then conspiring to help him kidnap Abel."

Fiona hissed.

"Damn, Filip, ya really know how ta put your foot in ya mouth." she mumbled. "I oughta put my boot up 'is arse."

Mac snickered.

"Don't worry, he knows it was horseshit. But I was… unbelievably hurt. I trusted that man with all of me, and that kind of betrayal just inspires a raw sort of rage. The kind that destroys people."

She shrugged.

"Now, though, I think I'm just sad."

"There's a cure for that." Fiona replied.

"Not right now." Mac said, shaking her head. "Filip needs to focus. You were right. No matter what's left between you two, Kerrianne will always be a priorty, and every day that Jimmy lives threatens her. Filip needs to kill him - I'll never have all of him until it's done. I think I always knew that, deep down. But now, I know if for sure, and distracting him from that would just be cruel."

Fiona gave her a sad smile of understanding.

"I appreciate what you've said, though." Mac continued. "I think maybe you might actually understand, given what you've gone through with Jimmy. You know I'd kill him for you, given the chance?"

Fiona nodded.

"But either way, you have my respect, and my thanks. You and Kerrianne have spines of steel."

Fiona smiled, motioning to her daughter, who was seated across the room.

"She wants to meet ya." Fiona said. "She knows who ya are ta Peter, and I'm sure by now she's heard the gossip abou' you an' Filip. But I think she's nervous. Ya are a bit intimidatin', Mac."

Mac snorted.

"Only a bit? I'll have to work harder."

Kerrianne did indeed look nervous as she approached them.

"Hey Kerrianne." Mac said, holding out a hand. "I'm Mac."

The girl smiled softly.

"It's nice ta meet ya." she said. "Are ya… are ya my Da's old lady?"

Mac bit her lip and shook her head, seeing the mirth in Fiona's eyes.

"No." Mac replied, flipping the knife still in her hand. Kerrianne's eyes went straight to it, and Mac noted the interest that lit there.

Her mother's daughter.

"Want to try?" Mac asked. Kerrianne looked unsure, so Mac just passed her the blade.

"I've plenty of them." she said, sliding a guard onto the blade. "Here, there's a trick to opening it."

As she demonstrated the wrist motion it took to open the knife without slicing your fingers off, Fiona watched with careful amusement, recognizing a lot of herself in her daughter at that moment.

They both - Mac and Fiona - watched as Kerrianne gave it a shot. But they both also had one eye on another corner of the clubhouse, where Happy was painstakingly tattooing Kerrianne's name over Chibs' heart.

The weight in Mac's chest had eased slightly after her conversation with Fiona, and it eased even more as she watched Kerrianne master the butterfly knife far faster than Mac had herself. It felt good to pass something on to Chibs' daughter. Right.

But she'd reached her limit for the day, had taken as much as she could of having that grief torn up again and again.

She downed the last of her beer, said goodnight to Fiona and Kerrianne, and left for bed.

It had been a long day.

—

The morning turned out not to be much better.

On her way down to the bar to search for breakfast, Mac heard rough, accented voices, and stopped. Some instinct had her pressing herself into the wall and listening intently.

"…can't let anyone find out."

She didn't immediately recognize the voice.

"No shit."

That was O'Neill.

"Look, I don't feel good about it, but Clay's kid is askin' questions. I'm gettin' outta here. Ya might think abou' doin' the same. I'll be at the loft, down at the docks."

There was a sound like a hand hitting a shoulder, and then heavy, booted footsteps. Mac slid back upstairs silently before she could be found, and waited a few minutes before heading back down.

There was no one but Jax, sitting at the bar with coffee in his hands.

"Morning, Jax." she said, taking the stool next to him.

"Hey."

Jax voice gave away his heavy thoughts.

"What's wrong?" Mac asked.

Jax sighed.

"I talked to Ashby again. Told him that we thought Jimmy and Peter might be behind the bombing and the shooting. He said he needs proof, and I might have a way to get it, but it won't be fun. It'll be… it'll be bad, Mac."

"Why?"

"I think you might be right about SAMBEL, let's just say. Hey, speaking of, have you seen O'Neill."

Well, if that was the direction he wanted to go, then it would undoubtedly get ugly.

"Yeah, I have." Mac said. "I was going to tell you - I overheard a conversation this morning between O'Neill and some other guy I didn't know. O'Niell didn't exactly admit to it, but the implication was there. He's working for Jimmy and Peter. He's gone, said something about a loft by the docks."

For a split second, Jax look furiously angry.

"I'm sorry, Jax."

The thunderclouds collapsed, leaving pure exhaustion in their wake. Jax rubbed his face with his hands.

"I just want my son back, Mac. This is just so much more complicated than I…"

He slammed a hand down on the bar.

"Fuck it. Let's go get the dirty bastard."

—

Mac went with them.

They made it to the loft with no problem - apparently it was a well known safe house for SAMBEL. O'Neill had been there, and the guys caught him easily enough.

Once caught, they strung him up, and let one of the IRA guys - Sean Casey - question him. Or, in reality, torture answers out of him.

Even Mac and Happy were impressed with Sean's tenacity.

Mac stood off to the side, watching Casey work impassively. She was standing directly behind McGee, which was by design. There was a large part of her that thought McGee had been the other man in the clubhouse with O'Neill, and Mac just hadn't recognized his voice. But until she had confirmation, she would settle for keeping an eye on him.

Confirmation came soon enough anyways. Mac had to hand it to Casey - he was persuasive. It wasn't too long before O'Neill admitted that Jimmy and Peter had ordered the bombing, and that McGee had been equally involved.

On video.

The SAMBEL President ran for it, but there was no escape. The rest of the Sons had him cornered on the room.

Besides cornering O'Neill, being up on the roof also gave them an excellent view of the group that was now approaching the warehouse. Jimmy, Peter, and their accompanying thugs.

Mac swore, thinking quickly.

In order to keep up any sort of charade at Peter, she would have to sit out the incoming firefight, and do it obviously enough that Peter would notice. He needed to see her there with the Sons, choosing not to fight against him.

She ducked behind a vent, blocking her body from any stray bullets, but also giving her a view of the door to the stairs. When Peter exited, Mac made sure she was seen crouching behind the vent, gun holstered.

That would have to do.

On the drive back to the clubhouse later, Mac was deep in thought about how this half-assed plan of her might play out. Her hope was that she might be able to trade herself for Abel. If she could convinced Peter - and Jimmy - that Abel wasn't worth it. Assuming that she could keep up the charade long enough to escape or kill them both, Mac would be fine. A defenseless child would not. And if the whole thing somehow gave the guys a chance to kill Jimmy or Peter, than all the better for it.

At least one good thing came out of today.

Mac smirked as she passed Jax on her way up to her room, his hand wrapped around the incriminating tape of O'Neill fingering Jimmy and Peter.

—

Mac stared at the phone on her bed, frozen.

It was a prepay, obviously left there when she'd been out. Likely by some messenger of Peter's, if she had to guess, but she wouldn't know for sure until he called.

As if she'd summoned it, the phone rang.

"Mackie."

His voice send goosebumps running along her skin.

"Hello Peter."

"How are you?" he asked immediately, entirely sincere. "Those biker brutes aren't treating you too badly, I hope."

They're not the brutes, you asshole.

"No, Peter. I can't wait to leave them behind. I'm almost ready to leave, but there's one last piece of unfinished business."

"What?"

"Jax Teller's son."

"Oh Mackie, I honestly couldn't care less about the kid."

Mac bit her lip.

"Do you think Jimmy would go for some sort of trade? Me for the child? Jax needs his kid, and I need you."

The words were bitter on her tongue.

"I'll convince him. I'd love an excuse to kill him anyways - Jimmy's insane."

You're both insane.

"Give me a little time to work out some details." Peter continued. "I just want you back with me, Mackie. Unharmed. But Jimmy's involved with the Russians, so we have to be careful."

Mac went cold. The Russians?

"Thank you, Peter." she said, mind racing. "I'll see you soon."

She half-heard Peter's goodbyes as she hung up the phone.

The Russians would undoubtedly complicate the situation, though if she had to guess, she'd say that Jimmy was using them for transportation. And then there was Peter, who'd realistically never been so nice to her during the entire time they were together as he was being now. There was insanity in her ex, and Mac was tempted to press it, to see how far he'd gone.

But not until Abel was safe.

A commotion outside grabbed her attention.

There was some yelling, but by the time Mac made it downstairs, Jax was sitting silently at a picnic table, head in his hands.

"Jackson. What happened?"

Jax swallowed.

"I saw him, Mac. I saw my son, happy, with his new family. And I thought - god, I could never give him that. His life will never be normal, not with. With them, he might be happy."

Mac snarled.

"Jax. He is your son."

He looked up at the force in her words.

"He needs you. Not some strangers. He needs the love of his mother and father, and you need him too! You love that child more than anything - anyone with eyes can see it. Don't you dare give up on that kind of love when you have it, Jax."

The aggression left her voice entirely. Mac sat heavily on the picnic table.

"All that will be left for you is sorrow."

Jax sighed.

"I want it all, Mac. I want the beautiful family, the happy wife, the perfect son. I want the club successful, safe, and whole. I want that trust, that bond. And Jesus, I just want all this shit to be over."

Mac chuckled.

"Well, you're well on your way, Jax. You already have a beautiful family. Tara loves you, and your son is perfect."

She sighed.

"As for the club, well, I tell you honestly. I think your final obstacle is Clay."

Truthfully, Mac had thought that since the beginning.

"You convince Clay, and you're one vote away from being way safer. You may all be criminals and outlaws, but I think you're good, at heart. Bound by brotherhood, if you'd all let it happen. But if you shackle yourselves with immaturity and greed, you will never be able to be what you could."

"Personally, I want you to have the gavel. Clay has a bad habit of running roughshod over anyone who gets in his way or doesn't agree with him. Honestly, that's a huge part of the reason we're in this mess right now. You need to convince him to get out of guns, and really think about what he wants for the future. You and Filip are clever men - there are ways to make money without violence."

Mac laughed.

"I realize I sound like a hypocrite." she said.

Jax smiled.

"Thanks." he said. "I think I've known all that for a while now, maybe since I found my dad's stuff. It's my job as VP to convince Clay, and also my job as a good brother."

Mac put an arm around him.

"By the way," he said, grinning slyly, "did you hear from Tara?"

She smiled.

"Who do you think was her second call?" Mac asked. "Congrats, Daddy."

Jax smiled, but became serious again.

"This new kid deserves an older brother, doesn't he?"

Mac nodded. Jax looked at her closely.

"And how're you holding up?" he asked. "When you aren't giving sage advice, that is."

Mac's smile slipped, and she sighed.

"I'm… numb, I think." she murmured. "Not angry, anymore. I was really, truly pissed off. But that's gone."

"What is it, then? You haven't been yourself."

"I'm just tired, Jax. I'm incredibly sad and tired of being sad. I'm tired of being angry, I'm tired of being alone when I know there's something better out there. I'm tired of assholes trying to ruin the lives of those I love. I'm just exhausted."

"There is a cure to some of it, of course. But I can't let Filip back in until all this is over with. We're here for his family, and I won't risk distracting him. As I told Fiona, I will not have all of him until Jimmy is gone, and Fiona and Kerrianne are free."

Mac did not mention her plans with Peter at all, and they were silent for a while.

"We would've killed him, you know." Jax said eventually. "Me and the rest of the guys. Gemma, Donna, Tara. That day, any one of us would've killed him, for you."

Mac was startled to feel the tears in her eyes.

"I'm glad you didn't. Filip doesn't deserve death. God, the opposite. No one who's been through as much as he has deserves anything other than happiness. And he's found it, Jax - here, with his family. He has his daughter and his wife back, and while I believe Fiona when she says they're only married on paper, he's still her husband. Not mine."

Mac sighed.

"He's back where he belongs, for now. As long as he's happy…"

Mac trailed off.

"I won't say it doesn't hurt." she continued eventually. "But I don't have a monopoly on pain. We're all hurting here, for so many different reasons that it's hard to keep track of them all. But I promise you, no matter what happens with Chibs, you will get Abel back."

Immediately, Mac knew there'd been far too much certainty in her voice.

Jax gave her a look.

"How can you be so certain?"

Mac shook her head.

"I just am."

Even if it costs me everything I have, I will get you your son back.

—

Mac left him a few minutes later, and Jax wandered back inside, veering towards Chibs when he noticed the Scot sitting alone in a corner with a beer and an envelope in his hands.

"Jackie boy." Chibs said. He shut the envelope quickly. "How are ya?"

"I've been better, man."

He sat down heavily.

"What do you have there?"

Chibs sighed.

"Mackenzie'd kill me if I told ya."

Jax raised his eyebrows.

"I think she wants to kill you anyways."

Chibs' lips twitched.

"Aye, tha's true enough, Jackie boy. Anyways, they're photos of her."

He slipped the envelope into his kutte.

"Ah, she an' Luann had a little fun before shit went down with the Irish."

Jax choked on his beer.

"You're right. But I think Mac would've killed me, too."

Chibs smiled, but there was no heart in it.

"You miss her, man?"

"More than I thought possible."

Chibs' voice was filled with the relief of finally getting to express his thoughts.

"I fucked it all up, Jackie boy. She still won' speak ta me, and I cannae blame her. An' now we're here, and ma girls need me."

"So does Mac. She puts up a good front, but she needs you, too."

Chibs knew it was true.

"She needs you just as much as you need her. And you didn't hear it from me, but she's not angry anymore. I think she's tired and sad and sick of being alone. She's talked with Fiona a few times, and I know Fi's told her that you're only married on paper. But Mac views you now as Fiona's husband, and you aren't really doing much to prove otherwise."

Chibs winced.

"Look, I understand you doing what you gotta do to protect Fiona and Kerrianne. Kerrianne will always be your daughter, and O'Phelan absolutely deserves to die. Mac is giving you time and space to deal with all of that, but she also thinks you've chosen your family over her. While it's hard to deny that, given the past few weeks, I think you can still get through to her."

"I've lost her, Jackie boy. It's too late."

"You're losing her." Jax corrected. "That doesn't mean you don't have a chance, but she's not going to listen to anyone but you."

There was enough certainty in Jax's voice that Chibs felt hope bloom in his chest for the first time since the docks, warm and comforting.

—

The clubhouse was in outright chaos.

Mac came flying down the stairs when the yelling started. According to Gemma, Ashby had come by and told everyone that Jimmy had figured out where Abel was. Jax hadn't waited before rushing to Abel's adoptive home, only to find the adoptive parents dead, and Abel gone.

He'd come back to the SAMBEL clubhouse, and promptly lost his shit. God knew what the fuck Jimmy was planning to do with the child, and so the Sons had immediately decided to go to war.

Mac had taken one look at Jax's stricken face, and decided that it was time to put her plan into action.

There was no other choice. The situation was circling closer and closer to a complete clusterfuck. Jimmy and Peter were both somewhere on the spectrum of completely fucking insane, and Mac was not going to allow Abel to become a casualty of some fucked up plan of their's.

When there was a lull, Mac slipped out of the room and called Peter. Their conversation had been short, confirming that she would trade herself for Abel. She'd laid it on as thick as she could, and it was a mark of how far Peter's mind had gone that he didn't get suspicious as her enthusiasm.

The trade would happen at the docks, where Jax knew Jimmy and Peter were headed with Abel, planning their escape.

Mac left with them, sitting next to Jax, who was practically vibrating with rage and nerves.

They pulled up, and everyone but Mac was surprised to see Peter and Jimmy standing there, sans guards, waiting for them. The Sons all piled out of the vans, various looks of confusion on their faces. Jax gasped when he saw the bundle in Jimmy's arms.

Peter stared at her. Jimmy smiled, alight with some evil, secretive knowledge.

Mac stepped forward.

"Mac?" Jax asked, confusion in his voice.

She ignored him. Instead, she walked confidently up to Jimmy. He allowed her to take Abel into her arms, and to turn and walk back to Jax, though his gun was up and loaded, forcing Mac to remember her promise.

"Love him always." Mac said, and it sounded like goodbye.

She slid two envelopes into his hand as well, once he had his son safely in his arms. The only other goodbyes she could risk. Mac took Jax's blond head between her hands, and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him on the forehead, very formally.

"Tell him I'm sorry. Tell him to be happy." she whispered, but so only Jax could hear.

He blinked, realization washing over his face.

"No." he whispered. She gave him a sad smile.

"No, Mac, please don't do this!" Jax said, louder. But his arms tightened around the child in his arms, betraying his words. Intense gratitude had slipped into his eyes, easing Mac's sorrow ever-so-slightly.

"It's what comes next, guys." she said, speaking to all of them, to the wonderful group that had become her family.

"It's my fault Abel was taken in the frist place. Now, I can give him back to you."

Mac turned and walked back to her captors.

"No, Mackenzie, no!"

Chibs roar stopped her in her tracks, but Mac looked firmly down. If she looked him in the eyes, she would break.

"Please, luv', please don' do this!" he screamed, tears in his eyes. "It's no' your fault, and I'm a stupid bloody bastard for sayin' tha' in the firs' place. Please, darlin'! Ya cannae leave me like this!"

Mac looked up, catching Jax's eye, pleading with him. Jax motioning to Tig and Bobby, who grabbed Chibs just as he tried to make a run for her. He fought them, still yelling for her, but Mac turned back around.

The volume only increased when Jimmy lifted the gun and put it to her head.

"In the car, lass." he said, grinning evilly at Chibs.

"Anotha girl of yours, Filip." he said. "I'm on a bit o' a streak, no?"

Chibs almost pulled over Tig and Bobby in an attempt to get at Jimmy.

"Mackenzie, Mac! No, god, please don' get in tha' car, please, I need you!"

At the last second, Mac turned back to him.

"Be with your family, Filip." she said, drinking in his face one last time. Those beautiful, sharp brown eyes that she'd missed so much.

"Keep them safe, keep your brothers safe, Filip! Do your best to forget about me. You were right about Abel, but I was right long before that. My past was always going to catch up with me."

Jimmy slammed the door behind her, and Chibs howled.

"Consider yerselves lucky to be leavin' with your lives." Jimmy said as Peter climbed into the passenger seat.

"I'll make sure ta take real good care of her, Filip." he continued. "Wha' a stupid coward ya are, lettin' me walk away with another one."

Mac heard every word, and it despite every instinct screaming at her to shut the fuck up, she turned and swore at Jimmy.

"Is tú an bótach fuilteach, a phíosa filth daonna." she spat. (You're the bloody coward, you piece of human filth.)

Mistake.

Jimmy turned around, and socked her hard enough in the face that the last thing Chibs saw was the spray of her blood on the window.

And then they were gone.

Chibs roared again, finally shoving his brothers away, and took off after the car. The spray of her blood permanently stamped in his mind, perhaps the last memory he might ever have of Mackenzie.

He fell to his knees, choking on dust, crying.

Mackenzie.

Moments later, there were callused hands helping him stand, walking him back towards the van, speaking quietly to him. Chibs didn't hear a single word, barely even noticed as they drove back to the clubhouse, still seeing Jimmy hit her, and scene replaying in his mind again and again.

He stumbled out of the van when they arrived, not seeing the looks that his brothers shared - loss, anger, sorrow, fear, despair. Mac had somehow touched each and every one of them, though none could compete with the amount of guilt Chibs was wrestling with.

Fuck.

"Goddamn it." Jax yelled, the sound echoing off the buildings around them.

"I fucking knew she was planning something, but Jesus Christ, if I'd thought it was this, I would've stopped it. I should've just fuckin' shot 'em!"

"You couldn't have." Happy said. "Jimmy would've killed us all."

"Jackie boy." Chibs said, voice low and rough. "Jackie, he'll kill 'er. You saw Jimmy hit her - he's a sick fuck who's go' it out for me. If Peter doesn'a get ta her first, Jimmy will. We need ta do something. I cannae let her die withou' at least tryin'!"

Jax nodded.

He knew - knew - that Mac would try to escape. This wasn't a woman who'd go down without some sort of fight. She would try for her freedom. And maybe, maybe, they could find some way to help her, to meet her halfway. An audacious plan, requiring trust from his brothers, keeping certain people in the dark, and maintaining hope that Mac would keep herself alive.

By the time he handed Abel to a crying Gemma, Jax knew where to start.

—

Mac tentatively touched the wounds on her face.

It had been moronic of her to test Jimmy like that, but she couldn't stand the way the bastard treated Filip like he was garbage. Peter hadn't done anything either, just given her a sympathetic look that seemed to say "well, you asked for it."

Jimmy had driven them to a hangar just outside the city limits. Peter had talked non-stop the entire drive, as if trying to disrupt the tension that had built between Mac and Jimmy.

His transformation was even more obvious to Mac now. He hadn't lost any of the brutality, but apparently his search for her had cost him some of his sanity, some of his cleverness. He was a little less subtle in his manipulations, a little more obvious with what he wanted form her. A little more predictable, even slightly oblivious.

Of course, none of it mattered. Mac had a million possible plans forming in her mind, all of which would play on Peter's newly-formed credulous simplicity, but none of them mattered.

At the end of it all, as the plane left Irish soil, Mac was still stuck with two psychopathic killers, counting down the seconds of her life.

—