James should have stepped in before it got to this point, is the thing. He knows he should have, he doesn't know why he hesitated.

Especially since Sirius and Remus are having it out right in front of the entire common room, already up on their feet, screaming at each other. They don't have their wands out which is a bad sign because it's two days to a full moon and Remus' eyes are a blazing gold, while Sirius is snarling out his words at a too deep register for a human.

James is up and trying to separate them, but his voice is being drowned out and no one else even wants to touch this situation. Lily isn't here, which is possibly a good thing because otherwise this would be a three-way fight, and Harry is with Lily because they're making up after Harry snapped at her for the Snape thing.

James doesn't need help anyway because he knows how to handle his friends (but it's been a while since it got this bad, hasn't it?) and the fight is over literally nothing, they're both just throwing a tantrum.

James sort of crams himself into the small gap between them, back to Remus because Remus doesn't hit people, at most he'll grab on too tightly, maybe a shove into a wall. James faces Sirius because Sirius is one hundred percent willing to slap James and he needs to be prepared for that.

"What are you even fighting about?!" James snaps, shoving at Sirius' chest with his hands while pushing his body weight back onto Remus. "Shut up – no, shut up! You're scaring the younger years with your utter bullshit, you-!"

James is shoved out of the way and goes tripping over someone's feet, turning to try and grab onto one of his friends for balance but that just means he falls backwards over the low coffee table and almost careens straight into one of the fireplaces.

Which would have been better because the fire is magical and doesn't actually burn (James has thrown enough firsties into the fire for everyone to know that) no, instead, James goes straight into the solid brick corner of the fireplace and his brain shuts off.

He might have blacked out but he's not sure.

He can't really feel anything for a long moment, and he thinks he's rolling onto his side but he can't tell because everything feels so far away. His limbs are present but numb like he slept on them wrong. He can't focus on the noise but he knows it's there, and he thinks his eyes are open but he's not getting any feedback from them.

After what feels like far too long, James realises he did manage to roll onto his side, legs still awkwardly up on the low coffee table and he had kicked off some books on the way down. It's hot this close to the fire.

He blinks and realises there's a third year on a nearby couch with her friends who seems to be hesitantly edging closer in worry. Most of the common room are watching James actually, and none of their expressions have turned to outright horror and nor has anyone just blatantly stood up to help so he must have been in that weird state for a few seconds at most.

Or maybe everyone is too scared, most of the students closer to the fight keeping quiet and their heads down, not even being brave enough to leave, like catching attention means they'll get dragged into it.

James waves off the third year girl who's being so concerned (and reminds himself to do something nice for her later like show a couple of the most useful secret passages) before pulling his legs down onto the floor and pushing himself up into a sitting position.

The world spins around him and he's left blinking a few times. At the shift in position, there's a wetness running down the back of his scalp that James finally notices. He (slowly) turns around to see blood smeared over the already red bricks of the fireplace.

He turns back to Remus and Sirius, who are still being morons, and this is the point where James wants to just walk away.

Not because he probably has a concussion thanks to them but because they haven't come to comfort him and ask him if he's okay. They haven't noticed -or maybe they don't care enough right now- and James feels his eyes start to burn at the tell-tale signs of tears.

He blinks it back and takes a deep breath because he is not a little baby, he is James motherfucking Potter, and his friends are one wrong move away from blatantly announcing one is a werewolf and the other is an animagus.

So James stands up with a wobble and picks up a hefty history book off the table, walking around behind Remus before smacking him across the side of the head with it.

Remus staggers and drops to a knee while James whirls on Sirius, swinging the book for his face. Sirius catches James' forearms but it was a distraction and James knees Sirius in the dick while his vision is obscured by the book. Sirius goes down too.

"I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed," James says mockingly with a sneer. He drops the book and stumbles back until the back of his calves hit the coffee table he tripped over and he sits heavily.

Remus is already getting back up with that werewolf constitution and his hand is up to the side of his head, teeth gritted with a growl in his voice. "Isn't it funny, how the only way you can show off is by putting other people down? Your only talent, Jamie, is acting cute because fuck knows why I put with you otherwise."

James smiles and it's vicious. "So you woke up feeling shit, huh? And instead of telling me, instead of us cuddling in bed while I feed you chocolate, you decided to be a fuckwit the whole day – and then of course you go after Sirius, who of course doesn't deescalate a bloody situation and decides to act like a bitch as well."

Sirius laughs, ragged and sharp. He's on his knees, bowed forward on one hand, the other braced on a thigh. Sirius' brain isn't being pumped full of werewolf hormones right now but there is not a chance in hell that he takes a hit -in public- and doesn't take a swing back.

"You want to talk about being a bitch?" Sirius cackles. "A bitch is you, picking fights and coming to hide behind me. It's you, crawling into my bed at night and rolling around with your little 'Siri, Siri' bullshit."

"You know what we could have done?" James snaps. "We could have gone for a walk around the Black Lake and talked shit about people. We could have sat up in the quidditch stands and worked on another prank. We could have gone to the kitchens to have a competition for who can bake the best cake and then we would have eaten until we threw up."

Remus is looking past James, at the fireplace, his expression blanking. "Is that-"

James surges to his feet. "But no! No, instead we sat around being upset at each other, feeling like shit, being fucking miserable! Day well spent, lads! Check that off my bucket list! Fucking bravo!"

And James just turns to walk out because that's his part done, except Remus intercepts, wrapping an arm around him from behind.

"James – James, wait, you're bleeding!" Remus says quickly. "Your collar is soaked."

James yanks away with a stagger, shoving Remus off. "You don't get to play nice now! No, you fucking made your bed now you lie in it." James' eyes are burning again and he whirls on Sirius in outrage. "And I don't hide behind you, it's called having your back, you shitstain!"

James slams the portrait shut behind him.