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A/N- chapter 2! Hope you like it, let me know what you think in the review section! Thanks for reading x

Chapter 2

Life as a baby was boring.

I slept a lot, cried a lot (it was so aggravating and no one made sense and I was so uncomfortable).

I'd read in fics that chakra itched, that OCs were hypersensitive etc. But I call bullshit.

Either that was just the fandom (then again, this is technically fiction…only, you know what? I'm not gonna go there) or I didn't have any.

Okay, if that's it; I'll take it. What a perfect excuse not to be a child soldier, conditioned from primary school to murder other human beings in a constant existence of fear and conflict and paranoia.

Well, dammit.

But, yeah. I wasn't super sure if chakra awareness was actually a thing. I mean, Naruto had a great big chakra fox in his gut and he literally never realised? You don't feel blood or oxygen as it goes around your body or nervous impulses across synapses. Although, you don't consciously wield those things, like with chakra.

I wish I could ask questions.

I still didn't get Japanese.

After scrambling through memories of various animes, I'd scrounged up a baby-appropriate vocabulary of 'Jiji', 'tou-san' and 'kaa-san'. And that wasn't even from this world! And by 'baby-appropriate' I just meant without including a handful of swears, village names or weapons.

If my first word was any of them, I honestly thought my mother would kill dad.

And there was that. Even without comprehending…anything…I could at least grasp tones of voice and body language (as much as my slowly improving eyesight would allow). Mum was definitely awesome though. She threw books and pots at dad. After the (I could only presume) swear-fest at my birth, she proved to be equally irritable outsight of the birthing room. At least I was always entertained. The funniest thing was that she was always adorable with me, cooing and singing (not Leona Lewis but still pretty good). She was a 'stay-at-home-mother' (I obviously didn't know why). I could only hope she wasn't some clan lady. Dad was a ninja, obviously Chuunin or higher (the vest was a clue). When he did come home, it was always with a cheerful call (don't ask what he said, I still have no clue after 9 months) and a delighted grin. He was always smiling, even when mum scolded him. I wondered if that was his way of coping as a ninja.

And he was always so happy to see me.

As humiliating as it was to be a baby, at least the sheer delight brought on by my presence was a huge ego boost.

He'd sweep into the kitchen as he pulled off his flak jacket, sweeping in to kiss mum before catching sight of me. By this time, I was usually already prisoned in the most uncomfortable baby chair ever created. Mum probably bought it expressly for the purpose of revenge for how uncomfortable I undoubtedly made her pregnancy.

Despite my grouchy face (it tended to be, especially in that stupid chair), he'd yell something out, "-chan"-whatever which was my mystery name, and then tickle me.

He hadn't clued in yet that in this body I just wasn't ticklish.

I giggled anyway.

Okay, so sue me. My adorable parents are showering me with affection and I'm, what? Gonna sit there like Grumpy Cat? Hell no! I'm going to be the most interactive and adorable cherub to ever grace Konoha.

No vomiting or snotty faces on this baby. Well, at least I'd try.

But there was no way I was going to be a bad baby when I had the mental facilities to be everyone's favourite on purpose. And the possibility that, when mum eventually took me out, I'd do something embarrassing in front of a main character was just not on the table. I'm not being a fangirl about this, it would just be ridiculous.

'Hey, I've read hundreds of fics featuring you and-oops, yep I've just been sick on myself!'

I didn't think so.

So I'd babble and giggle like a Disney princess and I would relish in my, fairly superficial, success.

After dinner, where my parents ate food that, unlike my slurry, actually looked edible, Dad does the dishes and mum cleans up the crime scene that is my face. I know I said I'd be clean but I'm only six months and it's super hard. Mum and I don't exactly communicate well just yet so when I say 'bit lower!' she just hears nonsense. It gets understandably messy. Especially when she doesn't wait for me to stop 'speaking'.

Anyway, after that debacle, the family settles down in my playroom. Which is super cute, despite the whole 'everything is pink' theme my parents are trying to get me to rock.

I've always been reasonably girly but not quite 'Mean Girls' (even if that was just Wednesdays).

And that when the lovely day always goes downhill.

Dad's holding a card with a cat on it.

He says jibberish. I stare at him, deeply unimpressed. He tries again, to no avail and then takes my little fat hand and pokes the cat. The jibberish is starting to sound vaguely repetitive.

I'd give him an extra point for effort, especially when he starts meowing.

I'd yet to actually see a cat in this life, so I was justifiably amused that he thought this could work.

My father slumps over and I'm acutely reminded on Hashirama in the anime. I can almost see the mushrooms growing… now that's just disturbing, those effects should never be seen in real life. No wonder Gai's sunset effect causes temporary insanity.

Those things just ain't right.

I decide to throw the poor man a line before my room needs to be fumigated.

"Ne" I was pretty sure he'd said. Wasn't the ANBU cat called 'Neko'?

He perked up comically and I felt my sarcastic heart whither in the face of his sunshine.

I was feeling particularly snarky at this age, missing my independence had made me a troll in my own mind. I thought I was pretty funny, which was, of course, a major danger sign.

He babbled encouragement (or it could have been a particularly enthusiastic correction, I just couldn't tell) and I decided to go for broke.

I mean, he'd been teaching me 'cat' for three days straight now.

"Ne-Ko" I mumbled, cheeks too fat and missing all my teeth.

He honestly started crying.

Well, jeez. No doubt anymore that this was technically an anime. Those tears couldn't be humanly possible. Maybe a jutsu? Hopefully not a Kekkei Genkai.

I was more concerned as to why he'd go to such lengths just for 'cat'. He'd barely begged this much for 'tou-san' (I'd made him wait a good three weeks before saying 'Kaa-san' out of spite).

How dare he force me to learn a super difficult language every evening. I was too lazy for this and I couldn't even crawl away.

Surely I was way too young for this? My bratty cousins didn't speak until they were almost two and then we all wished they'd been born mute.

Well, I'd said my second word at 9 months. I thought it was hilarious that all I could technically say was 'kaa-san' and 'Neko'. No 'tou-san' for you, Papa. I was almost tempted to swear the next time he taught me something. It would surely be an incredible moment I'd cherish for the rest of my life.

I had absolutely zero plans to be a child prodigy or a ninja. As much as I'd loved Kakashi, it just wasn't gonna happen. Especially looking at the Itachi-trainwreck.

Thankfully, I'd wasted so much time forcing my father to act in increasingly ridiculous cat-like ways, it was basically my bedtime so he was forced to stack away those infernal cards. They were getting burned as soon as I achieved some form of mobility.

I couldn't stay mad at him though, not when he gently scooped me up and rested my head against his neck. His deep, rumbling voice mumbled some rambling tune and I could almost purr at the vibrations in his chest.

So I did.

You can imagine my surprise when he purred back.

'What the-' my face was surely comical but thankfully hidden in his hair. It wasn't even a human's imitation of a purr, but a deep rolling thunder like when I'd pet a tiger on holiday. Something deep and seemingly unending, that I felt all the way to my fragile little bones.

I was more concerned with how, now I'd started, I couldn't seem to stop either. My purr, whilst almost silent and more of a gentle vibration that shook my tiny frame, was almost as drawn out as his.

I couldn't even tell you how I did it.

Maybe this was a greater concern of kekkei Genkai than those tears earlier.

No wonder he liked 'Neko' so much.

Well then, 'Neko-tou' he was.

It was the best lullaby ever though.

…

I started the day, as usual, on my own terms.

'Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!'

I'd been up for what felt like years and it was cold and what if they forgot me?

I understood I was being ridiculous, it was barely even morning, but well; when you have a baby, there's a new sheriff in town. So I screamed a bit until I heard the satisfying cursing of my dad (no footsteps in a ninja household, which was a bit creepy). But I felt a bit bad now I thought of it so-

"Neko-tou!" wasn't I adorable? Papa, you're welcome.

His hand, which had been tiredly scrubbing at his face, dropped down as his eyes popped in astonishment. He really was endearing.

"Nani? Kiharu-chan-" Ha! I got that! Well, before he once more descended into rambles. Kiharu, huh? Well, a name for a name I guess.

"Neko-tou" I squealed with a gummy smile. There, a reward for finally teaching me my own damn name. I'll admit it was a bit of a big word for a 9-month-old but I was kind of depending on the ninja world phenomenon of extreme early development. And dad had certainly been pushy enough to warrant my vocabulary. It was bonus points for the baby though when dad gave me extra cuddles, spun me around (now, dad I trusted with my little person. ninja= awesome reflexes) and banana for breakfast. And I'm definitely a daddy's girl (sorry mum but you won't purr).

So, the next few weeks went by and the only interesting things that happened were an awesome apple dinner recently and dad almost accepting my refusal to comprehend words beyond 'kaa-san' and 'Neko-tou'. As a plus, dad and I now harmonized our purr almost every night. I'd never ever slept better and I felt infinitely closer to my dad on a deeper level. Probably some mystic cat bonding.

But it was just before I hit 11 months (I thought) when mum finally took me out and about. Took her long enough I supposed. I tried to crane my little head around to see the Hokage monument ( big clue as to the time period) but well…I'm a baby. As in I can't even crawl. And my eyesight is still pretty sketchy. I can probably just see the other side of our medium sized kitchen. I wasn't gonna be looking at cliffs for a long time yet.

Dammit (and this time I wasn't even being sarcastic).

Furthermore, I didn't even see an orange jumpsuit anywhere or a masked silver-haired kid or even hear a "dattebane" on the wind. Dammit, plot cut me a break, I'm an adorable baby!

The walk was nice enough though and even if the market was a new level of bewildering (I'd never done drugs but could imagine it would be just as disorientating and kind of funny). People cooed at me so either my mum was popular or I was just so cute I brought strangers together. Well, a girl can dream.

But the walk was a general success and set the tone for every Sunday morning. The air here, I'd noticed, was a new level of fresh. This body had never known any different but I could tell, if I was in my old body, I would have probably felt faint. With almost no pollution and the village surrounded by miles upon miles of massive chakra trees, it was incredible.

Anyway, trees aside, time passed again. I was one year at this point and my birthday passed with a small congregation of adults laughing around a playpen of children which, unfortunately, featured me as the main act.

I didn't really recognise anyone, although one girl definitely had Yamanaka's eyes. But it wasn't Ino and she was a crybaby. No thanks. I loved people but babies were a trial. It was fine when you were the adult. But the mind of an adult with babies? I almost went insane. Children were great, they could play and laugh and move. These babies just fell over.

Unfortunately, despite my mental advantages, my body was also that of a baby's. So I couldn't even move either.

One kid was crawling already and it pissed me off so much I threw a biscuit at him. Waste of food, I know, but I felt a vicious stab of satisfaction when he stopped crawling to cry instead. Well, up until I remembered I was supposed to be a mature adult. Oh well, I consoled myself. When in Rome.

The Yamanaka brat got more interesting however when she giggled at my little show. Not the best indication of character, laughing at the suffering of others, but I'd take it.

From what I gathered from her gushing mother, her name was something along the lines of "Inoko-chan". I know, I know. Yamanaka naming traditions of 'Ino' seemed a bit cliché but this was anime. I mean, my dad purrs with me every night.

I decided the get the ball rolling. "Noko" I poked her. I was a bit callous I'd admit, but she seemed delighted that I kind of knew her name. "Neko-ki," I said, pointing to myself. I distantly saw my dad face vault over my new friend's shoulder ( I thought they only did that in anim- oh wait-) but I waved it off, it was unusual if Neko-tou wasn't being foolish. "Nek-ki" she garbled back, arms hugging me as best she could around my neck. All the mothers were 'awww-ing' around us and I decided I'd fix her pronunciation later.

Great, now I was sounding like dad.

…

After that, I saw Noko most days. I was pretty chuffed with myself, making my first friend who (bonus!) wasn't mentioned in Canon and told me nothing about the timeline. I was both frustrated and pleased that I'd avoided that headcanon so far. It was frankly a ridiculous thought that out of all the people I could meet in the biggest ninja village, I would meet the main characters. It was ludicrous enough that I'd been born in Konoha.

Noko was a cute girl though. She reminded me a bit of Ino, headstrong and loud but Noko was also essentially sweet natured. She didn't yell or tell me off for being lazy. She was loud but with laughter and giggles and lovely things like that. If not for her slightly wicked sense of humour, she would've been a perfect angel. She was perfect~

Since day one, she'd faithfully called me 'Nekki'. I didn't care, it was the thought that counted but then for all I knew it meant something random or inappropriate.

I didn't call mum 'Neko-ka' until I was almost 18 months when she finally relented and tried to purr me to sleep, which eventually worked. (she wasn't as good as dad or I, actually sounding human when she tried but dad had been on a mission for two weeks and I just couldn't sleep). She looked pretty pleased with herself the next day so I figured I shouldn't have left her out.

It was on my second birthday (still no clue as to the timeframe, no sight of a main character, and one year of faithful (baby) friendship with Noko) when I realised why dad and I could purr so well.

There was a massive fuck-off cat on my cushion.

Now, in my previous life, I had loved cats but I'd never actually had one. My parents never liked the idea of leaving a 'wild' animal alone all day so we never had pets. But I'd never really been around them.

Furthermore, for the past few weeks, I'd been teething and I was about ready to go in search of Tsunade myself. I needed healing, dammit! I was currently screaming my head off, right into dad's ear (if I suffered, he was suffering with me), when I noticed that the cushion dad usually set me down on was currently occupied.

Now, I had basically existed on that cushion for the majority of my life so far. I had cried, laughed and basically married myself to the comfiest cushion in the household. When I finally left this household as an adult, that cushion was a non-negotiable part of my inheritance, effective immediately. The massive beast on top of it was not gonna stay there. Not on my watch.

Dad, perhaps thinking my feline purring and naming tendencies would soften me to the intruder, placed me down in front of it.

I reached forwards, my little fat hands adorably grasping as luxurious black fur before I met the emerald eyes of the panther squashing my beloved pillow. Its eyes were as intelligent as an adult human and it looked at me like a tolerant lord looks down at a servant. Dad's voice enthusiastically introduced us. I didn't pay attention to its name. I didn't want to know.

Instead, I gave the most adorable gummy smile I could whilst yanking out the biggest handful of whiskers I could physically grasp.

My enemy yelled and its expression was akin to a vicious kick in the balls.

I barely managed to restrain my triumphant smirk.

At this point, I figured it was going to be impossible to be the angel child I swore to myself I'd be.

It was more fun this way.

"Kiharu-chan!-" blah blah "-nice-" something "Hitoshi". Well, at least these scoldings were slowly improving my vocabulary without those stupid flashcards.

The cat – Hitoshi – had moved closer again from where it had jumped back. Just to be sure, however, I threw myself forwards to cover the pillow, my eyes ( the same deep blue as mum's) locked on the cats.

Cats were supposed to be super proud right? Hopefully, he wouldn't kill me. That would be an even shorter life than my last and if I was reborn again I would come flying out the womb swearing in English and ruining everyone's lives.

He laughed. A deep rumbling growling laugh that fairly shook the floorboards. He snuffled my face but he didn't eat me and didn't make a move for the pillow so I let him. Dad was pretty silent behind me, probably just as surprised as I was that I wasn't kitty-chow right now. Hitoshi rumbled again and I made a point of purring back at him. This close to him I noticed the silver bandanas wrapped around his front legs and figured he was my dad's summon.

Nice, a ninja kitty to protect my helpless body.

The panther looked surprised and exchanged a long glance with tou-san, who was now laughing in apparent relief (smooth, dad, smooth). Hitoshi carefully reclined next to me, not on the pillow but close enough I felt the furnace-like heat radiating from his massive body. He must've been almost my dad's size, at least in length. He purred back at me and I melted into his side in response.

A moment later, my dad's deep baritone purr joined in.

My mum looked thoroughly exasperated when she came home to the sight of my small body bracketed by dad and Hitoshi, our purrs still reverberating loudly.

….

After those milestones (first word, first purr, first friend, first summon friend- ninja household, sue me), I knew I'd eventually have to walk.

I just couldn't be bothered.

When Neko-ka and Neko-tou weren't carrying and cradling my little baby body, Hitoshi was being an absolute star and carrying me places instead. Granted this was by grasping the back of my clothes like a cub but seeing as I was a purring little critter I figured I'd go for the all-in immersive ninja-cat experience.

Minus the ninja of course.

But mum and dad were getting annoyed that, after over two years of life, I was still perfectly content to plonk my behind on the floor and stay there for hours if no one would move me.

After weeks of being all but abandoned on the floor as my parents set up 'tempting' displays of toys or Hitoshi started purring invitingly across the room from me, I figured I was better off cutting my losses.

What my parents weren't aware of, of course, was that I had been standing in my crib for almost two months and walking around it for over three weeks.

It wasn't that I wasn't able to walk, it was just so much nicer to be carried.

But everyone had been very irritating recently so I figured if I was going to give in, I had to make them suffer first.

I started by becoming a complete deadweight.

Whereas before, I would sit and crawl and support myself, now I just lay down or flopped everywhere. From my perspective, it was hilarious. For my parents and Hitoshi? Not so much. The panther was fed up by lunchtime day 1 and dragged me through the kitchen by my foot until my mother caught him. Granted I was doing this on purpose but still. Apparently, they don't teach cats child safety. I'm pretty sure my mum did afterwards though.

It took three days before my mum looked like she was going to kill my dad for 'putting unfair pressure on me'. At this point, I calmly slipped out my chair (I'd practised endlessly whilst her back was turned) before walking back to where Hitoshi was curled on the sofa.

It was silent behind me. And then my parents erupted. My dad scooped me up in a twirling hug before my mum clutched me to her chest, babbling happily about babies and I thought she said 'hime' at some point which was sweet. I loved how I was congratulated for essentially pranking them.

I wish I could tell Noko, it was right up her street.

I knew it wasn't always going to be like this. For so long, almost three years, I'd been living in a quiet bubble of mischief and happiness, ignoring what it meant when tou-san was gone for days or weeks and came back dusty and bloody. Hitoshi wasn't in fact summoned for the singular purpose of babysitting me. Noko was a Yamanaka, from a ninja clan.

I knew when I turned four things were going to change.

But for these precious few years, I was gonna soak up as much happiness and family as possible.

…..

I knew that my birthday had been just after the cherry blossoms bloomed but it wasn't until my vocabulary had expanded a bit more that I learned it was March 21st.

It was also the first time I had ever seen my father angry.

My fourth birthday was a slightly more advanced repetition of the previous years' parties. There were some children, undoubtedly those of my parent's friends, present and Noko. We were still as thick as thieves two years into our friendship and I appreciated it. We were just children, so it was a simple thing; picking flowers and drawing pictures and playing tag. The party wasn't that bad, generic presents (and a wonderful flower hair clip from Noko I'd put in immediately) and group games going fine.

When my dad was asked by one of the other dads (Itsuo, I thought) when I was going to join the Ninja Academy, I didn't know what to expect.

I knew my father was a chuunin and reasonably content with his lot in life. My mum had had a wealthy grandmother leave her everything and so she'd never really felt inclined to work. She knew how to embroider and sometimes helped her seamstress friend when the workloads were particularly bad or she was particularly bored but she'd not shown any inclination to become a ninja. And neither of my parents had made any move to train me.

Another reason I was eternally thankful for them. I wouldn't know what to do if they'd pushed me into it or if we'd been, heaven forbids, a clan family.

When my dad firmly replied that I wouldn't be, I almost burst into tears.

Inferring intentions from mood, actions and snatches of conversation was no comparison for verbal reassurance.

The other man shared a look of disbelief with a few of the others and the good mood turned noticeably more frigid. Noko was the only other child to notice, sliding up to my side and pressing her small hand into mine. I grasped it tightly, undeniably scared that her own parents would speak up and that we couldn't be friends anymore. As annoying as I'd initially thought her, the unquestioning love and friendship of a child was a soothing balm.

Before anything else could be said, however, my mother gently shepherded the rest of us children outside with the instructions to play nicely and not go outside of the garden. Noko and I stayed by the door, ears pressed desperately against the keyhole.

We couldn't hear what was being said but raised voices continued on for a long while, ended only by my mother's voice snapping something out.

I'd never heard my father's voice so angry.

"They're just children-" I couldn't have agreed more.

When the party was over, I never saw that man around ours again, or his kids, or some of the others.

Noko stayed later than the others, her own parents speaking softly to mine until it grew dark outside and they had to go home.

But I knew I'd always remember that afternoon when, stood outside and eavesdropping with my best friend, I'd cried in genuine fear for the first time in a long time. It was the first thing I'd ever heard my father say in true anger and it had scared me to the bone-

"I don't care if we're at war! I'd die before I sent her out to fight-"