DISCLAIMER- I own nothing!
It was September 1st and not only had most of the Rookie 9 been born (Hana was delighted in baby Kiba) but Minato had only just over a month to live.
And…I may have gotten…attached.
Fuck. My. Life.
Both of them!
One morning I'd woken up to a very official note from the Hokage Tower. Requesting my presence. As soon as convenient. I was stressed for all of five seconds – I do not want to be involved in the government, especially not a militarist one – before I noticed the hand-written P.S on the flip side.
Bring tarts please~
J
Oh, for-! Surely this was an abuse of power?
Regardless, I was just a civilian kid and so couldn't exactly refuse the Head Honcho himself.
And…he'd wilt if I said no…eyes that blue shouldn't be that watery, it wasn't fair….!
So, since my first delivery months ago, walking past a surprised Genma (I winked, of course) and into the bombsight which was the Hokage's office bearing a plate of creamy goodness, I had visited (or rather my tarts visited and I escorted them) Minato twice a week.
Yondaime's Sun's were really living up to their title, Minato probably should have gotten fat by now. He was still on the slim side despite everything and I knew, if he was a girl, I'd be forced to resent him on principle. If he wasn't gonna die pretty soon, I'd be worried about Diabetes or heart disease in the long term.
And that's where my issue lay. (Not the diabetes/heart disease bit, I meant the death bit.)
I didn't want him to die.
I didn't really want anyone to die, in all fairness. But Minato... he was good. Even with my reservations towards a system that didn't exactly promote freedom of speech and- anyway, he was a good person despite all of this and every time I saw him, all I could think was how little time he had left.
Would I ever be able to look into Naruto's eyes after this? or Kakashi's (err, or rather- eye)?
I didn't know. But the guilt sat like a hot rock in my stomach for weeks. Even my newfound camaraderie with Genma failed to lift my spirits.
Of course, being a ninja, my bandana-wearing buddy missed none of this.
"Hey, Squirt," his voice stopped me on my way out. When he walked up to stand beside me, his eye's widened in panic at the sight of my troubled face. Urgh, he was probably freaking out internally over emotions and crying girls- what a teenage douchbag. "What's with the long face, eh?"
I almost waved him off but he was trying to help, despite how uncomfortable he looked. I always did love that headcanon of Mother-Hen-Genma. I wondered if I could get myself labelled as his first chick…
"I feel like…I'm not helping anyone." I felt strangely hesitant and found myself staring intently as the straps on his sandals. I absently noted how dusty they were, tut tut.
"Does… that make me a bad person, Genma-nee?" yep, that's what I called him. But I was actually curious now. Was I being a coward or smart, like I'd always figured? I knew that, no matter what, there was nothing I could do. But it didn't make it easy and some days I wasn't sure I could cope.
It was silent for a minute before Genma slung an arm around my shoulder and sighed loudly.
"Nah kid, you're good."
I turned my head to meet his steady gaze, happy to lean on him for a bit. He was warm and a nice height. He also used a really nice pine conditioner. And it was Genma ergo awesome, even if he was a bit of a dick sometimes. But he was a teenager, all moody and trying to act cool. I'd forgive him and then never let him live it down when we were older.
When my eyes met his, he grinned around his senbon before trapping me in a head-lock and ruffling my ponytail so much it was almost falling out when he let me go. I was squawking in offence, shoving ineffectually at his stupid chest and then growling up at him when I was able to stagger back a few steps. Coming from a girl who could snarl and purr as good as any panther, it was pretty impressive.
Didn't wipe the smug grin off the idiot's face though.
He continued, unrepentant, as I tried to salvage my ponytail. "You wouldn't be my cute little Kouhai if you weren't. Now, off you trot. And grab an actual lunch- not just some cake."
The mumbling of conversation alerted me to ninja moving towards us. Ah, I could still win this round.
"Of course, Nee-san! But I already have a mother, you know." I pointed out sagely, pretending I didn't see Genma's offended expression or hear the laughter of the ninja behind me (Raidou? Even better). I could almost feel Raidou's embarrassment. He really was a sweetheart, so calm and yet so easily flustered.
"So, you should just call me imouto!" Finishing with a cheerful wave, I spun around and left Genma frozen in horror, mouthing 'Mother' to himself silently. Flashing a cheeky wink at Raidou's impressively red face, I skipped outside.
My thoughts were now thankfully distracted from Minato's fate, too busy remembering one of my favourite fics which featured background RaidouxGenma. I wondered if I could set them up….
No! Bad Kiharu, no shipping!
Urgh, I sounded like a chuunin exam arch Ino or Sakura. I wallowed for a moment in self-disgust.
It was fine to support OTPs but it just got weird when they were right in front of you. I was a bit retarded when it came to recognising or identifying romantic stuff so would probably screw everything up even if I tried.
But, then again, you'd never know if you never tried…
(Back in the Hokage Tower, both Genma and Raidou felt a shiver of foreboding. They couldn't help but quickly check their weapons…)
…..
Noko was braiding glass beads into my hair when Sora-oba hunched over double like someone (other than Ino) had kicked her. She'd been shifting for a while and I knew what day it was.
I'd just kinda been hoping she could…I don't know…hold it in? At least until I'd innocently trotted off home.
My 1st mum and gran had taken vicious satisfaction in mentally scarring me with the scariest maternity ward stories they could conjure. And then they wondered where I got my twisted sense of humour?
I wasn't particularly keen to play midwife, thanks.
And yet, regardless of my feelings, here I was, scampering alongside Noko was we rushed to keep up with Noko's cousin, Tetsu-nii (the only relative who'd been around to come running when Sora-oba had started yelling), as he ran towards the hospital.
He looked just as scared as the rest of us, holding Sora-oba firmly but also fearfully like she was a particularly large bomb.
I could appreciate the comparison.
As soon as a medic-nin relieved him of his burden, he staggered back against the wall, face ashen and openly terrified. You would've thought he was the one going into labour. (what weird mental images- I had to clamp down on a hysterical laugh.)
Wasting zero time on the lily-livered pack-mule, Noko and I rushed after our aunt, guided by her dulcet yells. She was obviously becoming accustomed to the pain, changing from mindless shouts to very eloquently and imaginatively phrased curses. Thankfully, these were all aimed at her currently absent husband who-
"Ah! Inoichi-Oji! We need to get him-" I yelped, grasping Noko's arm before running back the way we came.
"You hold down the fort here!" I yelled over my shoulder, already flying around the corner and taking the stairs two-at-a-time with my short little legs. It took a few minutes but I was finally running through reception and bursting back out onto the street. I gained some odd looks but paid them no mind. I was pretty desperate to get to Inoichi first- hopefully, I could get him to faint!
Taking a moment to gather my bearings, I sprinted off in the direction of T&I. I'd never been allowed inside it (thank god for some sense of childhood awareness) but Inoichi had made sure both Noko and I knew where to find him in an emergency. He'd made us swear to never abuse our right to enter. I was totally okay with never stepping into the torture zone, thanks.
Now, as I zipped towards the deceptively harmless-looking tower (they weren't exactly gonna paint it with blood and barbed wire, were they?), I was glad that the hospital was set in the centre of the ninja admin buildings (for easy access to medical attention in an emergency etc.). I was bright red and gasping, having flat out run for almost 10 minutes now, but I was desperately hoping that I'd still be the first to break the news.
Running through the turning doors, I all but collapsed against the receptionist's desk.
"P-please! I need to see Inoichi-Oji! It's an e-emergency." Drama always got things sorted quickly.
The kunoichi pursed her lips, pretty unimpressed, but my desperate glare (I needed to be the one!) had her rolling her eyes and pressing a button under the edge of her desk.
Very James Bond.
A very awkward few minutes passed, where the lady ignored me and I desperately fanned at my steaming face. Thankfully, it didn't last too long.
The doors banged open and Inoichi swept in, eyes immediately latching onto me with laser-like intensity and scanning my person, even as he strode closer. I wasted no time, however, running forwards and grasping his hands.
"Oji! Sora-oba-san is-"
An ANBU had lept through the window and stolen my thunder.
"Yamanaka-sama. Your wife has gone into labour and is requesting your presence."
Inoichi made an incredibly satisfying croak, staggering back a few steps before shaking his head to centre himself.
I didn't even waste time lamenting the lack of hysterics.
My head turned slowly, eyes aflame like coals. I noted the silver hair and canine mask with the vicious satisfaction that at least I knew the identity of my mortal enemy. With a snarl (like when dad had accidentally trod on Hitoshi's tail) I threw myself towards the asshole that had ruined my moment.
I swore that, if I'd been the one to tell him, I could've made the big-bad Head of T&I faint.
Unfortunately, Inoichi just caught me around my middle and nodded for Inu-teme to leave. Which he did without even glancing at me.
Yeah, you'd better run, punk!
Inoichi, without even bother to put me down, walked straight out of the building. Taking to the rooftops, – he only spared a second to sling me onto his back with the instructions to hold tightly – he immediately took off towards the hospital. I had always been a bit of an adrenaline junkie and rebirth hadn't changed that.
I was too angry to even pay attention to our crazy speeds.
I had always loved Kakashi as a character; he was lazy, attractive, read porn shamelessly and was a troll after my own heart. What wasn't there to like?
A part of me, the bit that hadn't devolved to the maturity of a seven-year-old, understood that he hadn't actually wronged me on purpose. But I couldn't help but resent him. I supposed I understood what Obito meant when he'd called him a careless bastard. I'd loved his character too much to not give him a second chance though…just maybe in a few years when the hormones kicked in. Maybe it was just ANBU behaviour?
If that was it, I hoped I'd never meet Genma when he was behind the mask.
He was already a dick without the added baggage, but he was my dick.
Wait. That sounded inappropriate.
Thankfully, we then arrived at the hospital and Inoichi immediately swung through the nearest window without even breaking stride. I was impressed. When we arrived at the right wing, Inoichi slipped me off his back, like I was a interestingly shaped backpack, and gave me a quick squeeze before heading inside.
Noko, who'd been watching all this with a smile and a nod at her uncle, beckoned me to the seat next to her. So far it was just us in the room (Tetsu was pacing in the corner like a dork) and we clutched each other's hands tightly in both nerves and excitement. Naturally, I immediately began regaling her with my adventures;
"-and then he just cut across me! And told Oji-san instead and he was really rude-" Okay, I'll admit to still being a bit sore over the whole thing.
As per usual, Noko was both loyal and the voice of reason.
"that was quite rude, I mean, you were speaking and he cut you right off! But, he was ANBU, so maybe he was just terribly busy?"
Oh, you innocent, sweet child.
It was at this point that our parents burst in, along with a trail of various concerned relatives. Tetsu jumped like a rabbit in surprise, which made Noko giggle before our parents were on us. Dad scooped me up under the pretence of a hug but really, he just stole my seat (only one of two) and perched me on his lap instead. The sneak. I didn't have much time to do more than give him the stink-eye, however, as it was at that point that two figures swept into the room.
Chouza Akimichi and Shikaku Nara.
The stars in my eyes must've been glowing and I was pretty sure I had a background of magical rainbows developing behind me.
I'd mentioned earlier that I'd fancied myself a Nara. I don't think I'd quite explained that when I said I'd loved them, what I meant was that I was a disciple of Shikaku and Shikamaru, who were in my Top 5 Characters in Naruto. And I had a lot a love for this fandom!
I was briefly distracted by his deer-skin, wondering if it was as soft as it looked. It was much fluffier in real life than in the anime. Almost as cute as Tobirama's kitty-ruff.
The man himself looked pretty surprised at my reaction before he smiled down at me.
"You're Shikaku Nara-sama, right? The Jounin Commander?" I clasped my hands together and tried to stop bouncing. One eyebrow rose before he replied. "ah, I am." Which wasn't terribly encouraging for my enthusiasm but I didn't let that phase me.
"I'm Kiharu Dazai and I think you're amazing!" I beamed, trying to look as genuine as possible. As genuine as I felt. Which was 100%.
The shadow master looked surprised before a dark blush burned his ears and cheekbones. I didn't think he'd heard that much before.
Chouza laughed loudly, hand slapping his teammate between his shoulders before he offered me his hand. I shook it with a grin as he responded on Shikaku-sama's behalf. "Well, little hime, it's about time someone surprised him! Chouza Akimichi, I'm delighted to meet a little spitfire like you, Kiharu-chan." His arm was massive, dwarfing mine but his hold wasn't too gentle either like he thought I would break.
I liked him very much.
The twinkle in his eyes (they did open) told me I'd made yet another friend.
Shikaku-sama recovered quickly enough and bestowed upon me a wirey grin, which made his two scars crinkle endearingly. Oh, who was I kidding? This man could have a kunai to my throat and I'd probably find it endearing and thank him for it.
Okay, that didn't sound as disturbing in my head.
"Ah," he chuckled and damn, his voice was husky in the best way. "Thanks, Kiharu-chan, but Chouza and I had better go check on Inoichi, ah?" Feeling warm, I nodded happily in agreement and waved them both off with a parting jab, "Oji-san looked pretty sick, so that's probably best." It was worth it when they both chuckled.
Turning back around, I noticed Tou-san staring at me, looking completely devastated. Oh hell, what now? Stepping towards him carefully – you never knew what could set him off – my caution proved to be in vain as he immediately started crying anyway. I shot a panicked glance at mum but she was expertly ignoring the situation and I knew I was on my own.
"Er, dad?" I patted his shoulder softly and felt a sweatdrop develop. Damn, I'd never get used to these effects. "Are you…okay?"
"My little hime prefers Shikaku over me!"
The sweatdrop was so heavy I felt like it almost gave me a concussion. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the wait convincing Dad I wasn't trying to replace him.
Thankfully, Ino was born after just 7 hours. It was an age but I'd known babies who took over 20 so I was pretty relieved. Except for Noko's parents, none of us were let in – but it was still a bit of an event.
Inoichi-Oji, pale but ecstatic, told us all to drop round the Compound in a week or so, so that they could get settled.
When I did finally get to visit, it was almost 2 weeks later. Accompanied Natsuko-oba, noko and I ending up killing two birds with one stone when Yoshino was also there.
Baby Shikamaru was divine.
Ino…not so much.
She cried. All the time.
Shikamaru was, just like as a kid and adult, a super sleepy baby so we could admire him all we wanted. I was super impressed with his ability to ignore all other disturbances *cough* Ino *cough*. But I knew that I'd love Ino regardless of her shrieks (Noko and I had already made a pact, with Sora-oba's permission, to be the best Nee-sans ever) but she was so loud my eyes almost crossed. Noko had given up all pretences and had her hands firmly clamped over her ears.
When Sora-oba looked like she was going to cry alongside her daughter and Shikamaru had woken up to voice his own displeasure, I figured I had nothing to lose.
My purr, when I was a baby, had first been more of a gentle thrumming vibration than anything else. As I'd gotten older, it had become more audible and, whilst not as deep as dad's or as roaring as Hitoshi's, it was still super soothing.
Ino hiccupped a few times before finally deciding that the new weird noise was more interesting than reaching new decibels. Shikamaru looked adorably surprised because he took the chance and settled back down for his nap.
I could feel Noko gaping at me (I'd not done this since we were children and she'd had a nightmare) and both women looked gobsmacked.
Which then fell away to gleaming calculation and triumph.
I had the strangest feeling I was going to the most sought-after babysitter.
If it was for Ino-Shika-Cho, I can't say I'd mind.
…
On the evening of October 10th, I'd kissed both of my parents goodnight before curling up in bed with Hitoshi.
I'd last seen Minato three days ago. If I'd stayed a bit longer and finally cracked the courage to hug the surprised man goodbye, that was no one's business but my own.
I'd visited the Yamanaka's yesterday. If I'd held Noko's hand for most of the visit, kissed Ino and Shika and hugged everyone goodbye, I wasn't going to say anything.
Mum had been home for the day, with the seamstresses closed for the day. Dad had gotten back at lunch to a massive spread of cakes. I'd spent the rest of the day relishing in family, the four of us together and whole and warm.
If Hitoshi felt the silent tears that soaked into his fur, he said nothing.
And so, when the massive explosion of chakra outside ripped the air from my lungs, I closed my eyes in acceptance.
Even as I was pulled from my bed, still in my pyjamas, led from the house by my mother and a snarling panther, my father already gone with nothing but a hurried "I love you," and a kiss that still burned on my forehead, I knew that it was out of my hands.
I'd always been powerless but I just wished for more time.
I didn't know what was going to happen. Who would survive and who I would lose.
I was never going to see Minato again. I didn't know if Dad was going to make it. Or Noko. Or Natsuko-oba or Inokumo-oji. People I'd never know before. The man from the fish market, the boy from across the street or Yuri-oba who ran the dress shop.
I knew, I knew, that there was nothing I could've done. And that wasn't me trying to convince myself. It was stone cold fact. Even if I'd been a ninja, I was still 7 and it would change nothing.
The horizon was glowing as we ran towards the invasion shelters on the other side of the village.
People were screaming; in terror, in pain or for loved ones. I twisted one hand deeper into Hitoshi's fur and blinked furiously at the smoke that had started to spread through the streets. We were too close to the site of the attack, I could almost see Kurama's head from where I was on the ground and I knew that it was the force of his attacks, even from this distance, that had sparked fires. Trapped wires, gas leaks from the shockwaves and fires left abandoned. It was terrifying that he could have such an effect so effortlessly.
We'd reached the end of our road when mum noticed two small boys running in the wrong direction. She wheeled around, crying out for them to 'come this way' instead, ordering Hitoshi to protect me before she was gone.
I screamed for her so hard my throat ached.
When I tried to go after her, no sign of her anywhere, Hitoshi had snarled at me to stay put like she told us.
A massive explosion shook the ground, the trees beside us catching fire.
We'd lingered too long.
Hitoshi scanned the area for my mother just as desperately as I. when I looked at him, he looked just as scared as I did. Trying not to cry, I climbed onto his back. I knew we had to leave but I was terrified we'd miss my mother if we did.
Another explosion echoed and, with one last regretful glance back from where we'd come, Hitoshi set off through the smoke.
Kaa-san never made it to the shelter.
After spending the rest of the night in the caves, which were dark and cold and filled with the sounds of crying children, the light of day signified the end of the onslaught. I'd passed the entire time either crying into Hitoshi's sooty fur or staring at my guilty expression reflected in his solemn green eyes.
In those long hours, I hated myself. It would have been so much easier if I'd be born like a normal person, no memories to torment me with knowledge I couldn't use. I knew it wasn't my fault, any of it, but they always did say that survivor's guilt was the silent killer.
The village looked wrong when we came outside. Parts of it were completely demolished, others untouched. Some were just on fire, sparked by ruined electrics from the shockwaves. The trees had been completely cremated in some places, nothing left but the scorched brown earth.
Minato and Kushina were dead and Naruto was all alone.
People rushed around, getting medical assistance or reuniting with family members. It was scary and loud but also strangely hushed in the face of such tragedy. I almost stopped a chuunin to ask about my parents but he was gone so quickly I didn't even have time to open my mouth. Sharing a look with my panther companion, he looked just as lost as I felt.
So, we went to go see if we still had a home left.
The anime had shown the devastation of the Kyuubi's 'attack'.
The reality was so much worse. Not only was this real life but this was my home, I'd lived here for almost a decade and, seeing everything so devastated, my throat had swollen into a hard lump I couldn't swallow around.
Our street was pretty intact, aside from some fallen trees and the fires that had been put out in the first two houses.
Slowly turning the corner, I quietly sucked in a breath of relief. Our little cul-de-sac looked okay, if smoky, and our house was relatively unscathed, aside from the popped in windows.
The door creaked when Hitoshi went through first (he insisted). We sat on our sofa for hours, not daring to go anywhere.
It was just getting dark out when the door banged open and the sounds of ragged breathing shattered our silent vigil.
I leapt to my feet, terrified that someone had taken advantage of the chaos to hit a few unprotected houses, with Hitoshi crouched protectively in front of me. We must've alerted the intruder as the door was thrown open, to reveal my dad (filthy and exhausted but whole) armed with a Kunai.
At the sight of him, all my composure from the last few hours shattered like an overfilled Dam. Barely even waiting for him to lower his weapon, I flung myself across the room, relieved beyond belief that he was alive and in front on me.
The warrior's gleam in his eye had vanished and he clutched me desperately to his chest, rocking me gently as he lowered us both to the ground. He was shuddering and gasping and I knew I'd be a bit bruised tomorrow. When I'd finally calmed down enough to understand his almost feverish muttering, pressed as his lips were to my head.
"Oh, thank Kami-You're here, you're okay…you're alive" he sobbed and I realised he must've been looking for us all day. A hot stab of guilt lanced my heart for unknowingly making him think I'd died. I pressed myself so hard against his chest that I almost thought I'd be able to slip beneath his skin and never leave him.
I wondered if this was how my first parents had reacted to my death.
I wondered how long he'd been looking, scouring the entire village for his family.
I wondered why kaa-san wasn't with him.
A/N- Just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who's fav/follow and/or reviewed so far. I'm really glad everyone seems to be enjoying the story! And don't forget to review on the heartbreak feels in this chapter ;)! x