DISCLAIMER- I own nothing!

….

I was running.

(And it wasn't recreationally.)

Now, I wasn't training and there wasn't a wild pack of dogs on my heels except, well…there kinda was.

And this was all because I was still an unmoving advocate of the society of 'Being-A-Ninja-Is-A-Terrible-Lifestyle-But-I-Can't-Change-That-So-I'm-Going-To-Try-Boycotting-The-System-Without-Insulting-My-Loved-Ones-Or-Being-Accused-Of-Treason'. Not the catchiest of titles but, seeing as it only existed in my mind, I didn't really give a shit.

Because the boys weren't convinced.

"How?" Kotetsu cried, sounding for all the world as if I had just told him that I'd booked him in for a castration. Izumo was a lot quieter but equally as disbelieving. "Who wouldn't want to be an awesome ninja?!" The plaster-wearing boy asked the sky in disbelief.

"Uh, me?" I'd responded, pointing at myself with my patented 'are you stupid' expression plastered on my face. They'd known I was a civilian for months but, when I told them I was turning eight soon, they'd realised I'd still yet to join the academy.

And they were super confused.

It had almost been cute for all of 6 seconds. They were only 12, and boys at that, so didn't understand how I didn't want the same things they did- the world didn't make sense the way they thought I saw it.

Apparently, my reply had sounded uncertain and my expression confused. And then they'd had the bright idea that they'd just have to convince me. Without asking. In the middle of the marketplace.

So, that's why I was currently fleeing like a bat out of hell.

Ducking under a man's arm, I shot off down the street, dodging civilians and stalls alike. I'd played tag with Hana and the Triplets more times than I could count but that had been just a game, confined to Inuzuka land and filled with laughter.

This was considerably much more frightening.

Now, I knew the boys would never hurt me; we'd become close friends (although the boys were closest, like brothers at this point, but I wasn't jealous) over the past months but the boys were due to graduate as genin in a fortnight and had been going a little…crazy…recently, at the realisation that soon they would be actual genin. Knowing them, this would only end when we took it a step too far.

Hopefully that 'step' wouldn't be a particularly painful one.

And, in all honesty, the adrenaline was getting to me.

I was well aware of my own helplessness. Being able to stomp a man's groin and get a drunk to let go were very different things than going up against two boys with taijutsu (and various other) ninja training. So, right now? I felt like a palpitating rabbit on the run from two very mischievous, and hungry, fox kits.

Bakas. I was going to groin-stomp them when this was all over.

"Ha!" A dark shape leapt over my head and I reflexively lunged back, foot slipping only to skid on one thigh. The skin smarted (I had been caught unawares and so was only wearing a lavender qipao dress) with what I was sure would be a nasty graze.

Hissing through my teeth, I jerked away from Izumo as he came at me running, grinning like the oblivious maniac he was, and ducked down a side street. When a hand caught my arm, I automatically twisted my elbow into the person's gut, just as Tou-san had taught me all these years.

An "Oof!" was my reward and I scampered onwards, face growing sweaty and expression undoubtedly desperate. Served the idiot right for playing fucking ninja tag with a civilian.

This game wasn't fun anymore if it even had been, to begin with.

I came out near the training grounds and knew I was in trouble; in the streets, there were distractions and nooks n' crannies to hide in. Out here? This was ninja territory. I only knew this place by sight- from passing by, bringing dad the occasional lunch and from the anime.

I had nowhere to hide.

Ducking across the grass, I made for the trees. I felt like a particularly delectable and fluffy bunny in the open range of a hawk. I'd just made it into the foliage when a heavy weight landed on my back and I went down on my front with a shriek.

My nose smacked hard into the packed earth and my head rang for a moment. Distantly, I could hear the boys cheering at their success and absently noted that they must have tackled me together. But, when the weight left my back, I was suddenly aware of how much pain my nose was in.

The boys leaned down to pull me up so I was sitting, still grinning brilliantly. And I promptly burst into tears.

I know, I know, crybaby moment. But honestly? That fricking hurt like a bitch. Taking two older boys to the spine wasn't funny!

I'd never really been hurt before, childish scrapes cast aside like nothing to my adult mind. But, in both lives now, I'd never broken a bone or anything like it. Even my death didn't really count because it had hurt so much, so quickly, my mind couldn't even register it.

I'd never cried in front of the boys though, not since the funeral.

Their faces instantly transformed, horrified, as I wailed and blood flowed from my nostrils. I was still a kid, with a kid's pain tolerance, and tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Oh shi-!" Izumo wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me back to sit on my bum, even as Kotetsu scrambled for some bandages in his pocket.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Izu-kun crooned, face panicked and sharing desperate glances with his best friend, "It's not broken, Kiharu-chan, so don't cry, ay."

"I-I," I stuttered out between slowly calming sobs. The tears still flowed but at least I could breath a bit easier and my nose had now numbed, tingling pain stretching across my cheeks and under my eyes.

"I can't believe you two did that." The words were quiet, muttered, but the two boys stopped moving and heard me all the same. I was pissed now; I wasn't made of tissue paper but I wasn't a fighter either. Those two idiots had definitely forgotten that I wasn't some kunoichi from their class. They'd done it before, asking me about a technique when doing their homework etc. and I'd have to remind them that I knew nothing. Even Inoko had done that sometimes.

It pissed me off. Just a lil' bit.

"Kiharu-chan, it was just a tackle," Izumo explained in a reasonable voice, concerned faced looking between myself and Tetsu-kun. "We didn't think you would land like that. If hit from behind, you're supposed to- "

"I didn't know that, though, did I?!" I interrupted, the words angry and hurt.

I didn't want to be a brat or to fight but…they, they just didn't seem to understand what they'd done wrong! Like they forgot that I would never been fighter like them. I wasn't weak, would never be weak, but…I'd never really activate my chakra system or learn how to handle weapons or fight in a certain style. I wasn't like them but that was okay. It just…it hurt when they didn't see that.

It was worse when they just…forgot.

"I'm a civilian, boys. I don't know fighting or how to run properly or any of those things. You think that I want to be a ninja, even when I say I don't and then you chase me through town, frightening me half to death before almost breaking my nose!"

At this point, Izumo had moved away to stand beside Kotetsu. Their faces were shocked, Izumo's starting to move closer to dismayed and Kotetsu's showing the first signs of anger.

I rocked onto my feet, bandages clutched to my nose (which was still steadily bleeding) and dress ruined.

"I'm a civilian and I will never be a ninja, okay? I'd die first!"

I repeated what my dad had said at my fourth birthday, all those years ago, watching the anger and hurt fill the boy's expressions. Maybe it was melodramatic but I was sick and tired of feeling like I was letting people down by doing this.

Like I had disappointed them.

I couldn't believe my two sweet boys had been so mean.

"Oh, yeah?" Kotetsu stepped forward angrily, fists clenched at his side. I could clearly see the hurt and insult on his face and knew he was lashing out. That's didn't make it better though. "Well, then, go on! Run off home like the coward you are! Do nothing and stay a pathetic, winy civilian!"

Izumo looked horrified at how things had gone and yet stayed silent, mouth pressed into a grim line. I didn't even bother, knowing there was no way he'd move from Kotetsu's side.

"Fine." My voice was quiet but steely and I turned my back, extremely conscious of my hobbling leg, where my thigh had gone a bit numb from earlier.

It was humiliating walking back home. Kids and adults alike looked at me and assumed I was a shit kunoichi that had just had her ass handed to her.

Not some civilian girl who'd fought with her supposed friends.

There was no concern in their eyes, maybe some pity at such an obvious loser, and no one thought for a minute that I was just a child. The bandages in my hands certainly solidified the idea I was ninja. I quietly stewed in anger the entire time, pushing open and closing the gate behind me with deliberate serenity.

"Welcome home!" Dad called joyfully when I opened the door and I remembered now that I'd originally headed out for some milk and eggs. Well, never mind that anymore.

He was pulling the orange juice out of the fridge when he turned and saw my face, miserable and smudged with mud and blood, cheeks lined with tear tracks.

The carton hadn't even hit the floor before dad was crouched in front of me, one large gentle hand moving the bandages so he could get a good look, even as his eyes scanned my form for other injuries.

"What happened, Ki-hime? Who hurt you." The last wasn't even a question. His deep timber voice was hard and his arms coiled protectively around me. I looked down, miserable, into his familiar brown eyes.

"I…got in a fight with Kotetsu and Izumo." I mumbled. Dad frowned darkly, even as he gently turned my head from side to side, checking the bone wasn't cracked.

"They hit you?" He was clearly disbelieving. He had to ask anyway.

I quickly shook my head; I was still angry at them, even as that emotion slowly transformed into hurt and guilt, but I didn't want to get them in trouble.

Dad was silent as I quietly explained everything, sitting me down on the sofa and kneeling before me. He gently and diligently dabbed at my nose and face, cleaning and binding the large graze on my thigh and the minor ones on my palms. I'd not even really noticed them.

It was quiet for a while longer before he spoke and I was half afraid he would be furious at the boys. My dad may act silly but that was just his playful side. He could be truly frightening when provoked. Especially where I was concerned.

He shuffled in to sit beside me on the sofa, looping one arm over my shoulder and pulling me into his side as he let out a loud sigh.

"You know, the first time I met…your mother…she slapped me so hard my neck cricked."

My eyes widened at the image and Tou-san smiled self-depreciatingly at my expression. "Ah, I'd said something stupid- Let the ninja take care of things, sweetheart- and she…took offence, to say the least. There was a brawl in the bar she was waitressing in and she had been shepherding the men outside. She didn't actually need the help but, well, I'd always been told that it was the ninja who fought. 'Civies' didn't fight, couldn't, but your kaa-san's right hook told me otherwise.

"That's one of the reasons I taught you self-defence, Ki-chan. Just because you aren't a soldier, that you won't make a career out of fighting, doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to. Everyone has something to fight for.

"…And those two boys, they-they were in the wrong, yes. Were they out of line? Definitely. Will I put the fear of the Dazai into them for hurting my little hime? You couldn't stop me!"

"Dad!" I rolled my eyes and batted at his chest as he poked my cheek.

"But, Kiharu, they didn't mean it. They need to learn, as most ninja don't, that being a civilian isn't a bad thing. Just like being a ninja isn't always a…good…thing." He shifted, uncomfortable, and I acknowledged that he'd perhaps brushed a bit too close to his private views. Secret opinions, unspoken ones, that meant treason if mentioned aloud. But I knew anyway.

"Civilians often view shinobi as a necessary evil, a dirty secret. Monsters as neighbours, who keep the peace but are also responsible for a lot of problems. Ninja often see civilians as cowards, those who wouldn't dedicate their lives to the village. They don't see that if everyone were shinobi, we'd be even worse than during the Warring States Periods. Who would farm and who would feed us? Who would build our homes and make our clothes? Everyone has a role to play and not everything is about fighting or being a 'hero'.

"Namikazi-sama seemed to think your tarts were heroic enough, eh?"

Unwillingly, a small smile tugged at my lips in remembrance and I nodded shyly. At that moment, my dad seemed a bit like Minato had, like he could inspire confidence in the littlest thing because he honestly believed.

"Now, let's get some ice on that nose. You'll have some deep bruising for a while but nothing broken, thank Kami. Wait a few days before going to see those two, okay?"

With a nod, I threw my hands around dad's waist when we both stood.

His hand rested on my head, a familiar and reassuring hot weight, and his chest smelled like cinnamon and ferns.

"Thanks, Neko-tou."

His breathing stuttered slightly before he pressed me just a bit closer.

"Always, hime."

…

The next morning, I was examining the tea selection when Mikoto stepped up beside me.

"Two medium bags of Darjeeling, please." She ordered politely, Sasuke-chibi strapped to her back and peeping over her shoulder with dark eyes. If she caught me looking, she said nothing.

"Matcha green tea, please!" I pointed at the largest bag available and the Uchiha matriarch looked faintly surprised.

"That's the biggest possible bag, gaki. Are you sure you want that much?" The shopkeeper, an old man with wispy white hair and closed crescent eyes, asked dubiously, gesturing at the 600g bag of powder. I'd bought tea from him loads of times, I was actually one of his 'regulars', but he was always shocked by the amount a small girl like me wanted.

"Yep, I need it for my desserts, again," I reasoned easily, watching out of the corner of my eye as interest flickered in Mikoto's eyes. "I'm making green tea mousse cake and will need quite a bit,"

"Excuse me," Bingo. "but I couldn't help but overhear…what do you mean by 'mousse cake'?" She spoke gently with a surprisingly warm expression, obviously aware that she was interacting with a child, technically interrupting, and not wanting to spook me or seem rude.

"Oh, well," I decided to play along, beaming up at her (the effect was spoiled by the developing bruises on my face) and ignoring the amusement that slipped past her mask. "It's made with a cake base and a thick layer of chilled cream cheese and gelatine mousse. You can make it in loads of different flavours but matcha, especially with a gradient, is one of my favourites! It tastes so creamy and delicate…"

"Oh? Where have you had it? Is there a new bakery I've yet to hear of?" She looked intrigued and I wondered what would happen if I told her the truth. Ah well, I wasn't going to give someone else the credit. Or praise.

"Nope! I made it myself! One day, you see, I'm going to open up a bakery and make desserts all day, every day." Both Mikoto and the shopkeeper looked surprised for a moment before letting out a few quiet chuckles; they weren't mean or disbelieving so I just waited until they were done.

"Well, gaki, when you do get that place," The old man chuckled as he handed over my change and my bag. "we'll have to make a deal; you certainly buy enough of my tea!"

On a whim I was definitely, 300%, going to regret, I turned back to Mikoto and blurted out, "If you want to try some, Uchiha-san, maybe I could bring you a slice, sometime…" I trailed off, abruptly realising that this was the Uchiha Clan Lady and she cut quite the political figure. Blush burning brightly and clashing horribly with my bruises, I floundered for something else to say. Mikoto spoke up before I could.

"That sound's lovely, dear." And my blush warmed further at the endearment. Even if she was probably just using it because she didn't know my name. I'd never given Mikoto that much thought in the anime but something about her made me light up like a tomato. Maybe it was her eyes, they were super warm without her even having to move her face. Tyra Bank's would've kudos-ed her smize.

"Kiharu!" I blurted, "Dazai Kiharu, please." Her smile warmed her eyes again and I tried not to melt.

"Uchiha Mikoto. I'm delighted, Kiharu-chan. If you would like, you could come by the Compound around noon tomorrow? Would that give you plenty of time to complete your mystery dessert?" My eyes popped a bit at her light teasing before I remembered that this woman was once best friends with Kushina. There was undoubtedly some sass masterfully tucked away.

"Y-yes, that's plenty of time, Uchiha-sama." I smiled at her and received a gracious nod in return.

"Until tomorrow then, Kiharu-chan."

Even sweeping away, down through the crowded market, she looked effortless.

And there was another can of worms so graciously opened for me by Fate.

What the frick-a-frack was a going to do about the Uchiha?

I wandered home, mind distracted and tea slung over my shoulder like one of the Seven Dwarves.

Itachi was only a kid right now; in relation to the Rookie 9, he was Hana's age so I had under a decade to get the Massacre and the uprising off the table.

This was different from the attack of Tobi and the Kyuubi. The situation with the Uchiha was one of public unrest and general malcontent. That was something I had the chance of altering, unlike a cinnamon-roll-turned-psycho releasing a Bijuu. But…I would have to be extremely careful not to incite the interest and/or wrath of Danzo. Or Madara/Tobi.

I wouldn't last anywhere near as long as Shisui. I mean, he was one of the few marked as "flee-on-sight" in the Bingo Books. I was a troll but that hardly warranted a warning besides "don't make her embarrass you, it'll smart."

Anyway, there was absolutely no way I was letting Shisui and Itachi get shafted in that clusterfuck. Itachi had always kind of pissed me off with his 'master plan' for Sasuke (that was just asking for him to go off the rails!), even if I did like his character. And Shisui…

Shisui was an angel of happiness that these people did not deserve. I would frickin' build that boy a temple before I let him jump into the Naka.

On second thoughts, Shisui was just a little over a year older than me. And tomorrow, I'd be going over to the Uchiha Compound for tea with the Clan's Lady… Sadly, I doubted she'd suddenly want to betroth me to the boy, even if she liked my cake.

Dad had border patrol today but Hitoshi was lounging on the front lawn, basking in the early March sunlight. He looked asleep but when his tail flicked I knew he was just ignoring me in preference for the sunlight.

He was a cat, no need to say anymore.

Dumping the tea on the sideboard and washing my hands, I immediately got cracking.

Hair pulled into a knot at the base of my skull (the two shortest lengths still out and framing my face), I threw on my apron and gathered the ingredients. Firsts things first, I preheated the oven.

Now, I knew that this recipe was originally Japanese but, with mousse being a French creation, the wonders of this cake had yet to be unleashed on these people. Well, wasn't I just the public hero.

With two bowls laid out, I started separating the eggs. I always did it like Jamie Oliver, cracking the egg into one hand before letting the white slip through my fingers. It was a bit grim when it started to dry on your hands but I hated being unnecessarily fiddly. Jamie had always been gloriously slap-dash in his methods and I'd completely rated that.

Once the three eggs were split, I added a small spoonful of the sugar to the buttercup-yellow yolks before whisking. The oil was then added, poured with one hand whilst I kept stirring with the other. In another bowl, I poured in some matcha and a drop of milk. Using a fork (I only had the one whisk), I made a deep green paste, before slowly adding more milk until it was all incorporated. This was then poured into the yolk mixture, with the floured gradually sieved on top in between stirs.

I hopped back down my stool (I hopefully wouldn't need it much longer, already standing on the first step instead of the second), I pulled out my trusty hand-held whisk. I was way too lazy to beat egg whites by hand. Even dad complained when I'd asked him once.

Alternating between a low setting and a higher one, I beat the whites with some sugar until they formed a smooth cloud of meringue- it wasn't as stable though, the peaks drooping but still there. Spooning a third of the whites into the matcha mousse, I used a spatula to slowly fold them together. The green was slightly paler but still awesome.

Once incorporated, I poured the green bowl into the white and gently folding everything together again. I then smoothed the mixture out into a paper-lined tray, a bit like a swiss roll (including the tapping of the tray to burst any air bubbles). The green looked amazing and I resisted the urge to plonk my face in it.

All in good time, Kiharu.

Whilst the cake was in the oven, I reluctantly cleaned up a bit before soaking some gelatine sheets in a bowl of water. You wouldn't believe how annoying that stuff was to get hold of. I had no clue how to make it and got so frustrated that Sora-oba had to eventually speak to Kaiya-san to get hold of some for me. On the bright side, the woman now wanted to meet me…!

Once the gelatine had softened, I squeezed out the excess water with my fists (soooo satisfying) before dumping them in a bowl of microwaved milk. I saw no point to heat it on the hob, anyway.

Once mixed, when the gelatine had dissolved, I took a moment to remove the cake from the oven. Working quickly, I used the overhanging paper to lift the cake from the tin, onto the cooling rack and peeling it back from the sides. Hopefully it wouldn't deform this way…

After mixing the milk/gelatine with the cream cheese (the closest I could, unfortunately, get to glorious mascarpone) to make a creamy liquid, I added the sugar and stirred until all the granules had dissolved. The last thing I wanted was grainy dessert, especially for Mikoto (eek). Then, after rinsing the whisks, I whipped the double cream until it was textured (but still super soft) with the hand-held. Gradually, in stages, I folded in the gelatine/cream cheese mixture until they were completely combined.

Laying out five new bowls (I had to get creative, using some soup bowls because I honestly ran out), I spooned out increasing amounts of matcha into each one with a little water to get rid of bubbles. I then added equal amounts of mixture to each, so that each bowl turned a darker green than the previous as the amount of matcha increased.

Aw, this was going to be so cool!

Pressing the tin into the now-cool sheet cake (the rest of which I started to snack on), I poured in the palest mixture, which was crème with no matcha colouring it. One by one, I slowly poured the increasingly darker mixtures into the centres of the previous. The tin (already resting on a tray) was then placed into the fridge and I was glad that it was still early; it would need as long as possible in there to be ready for Mikoto tomorrow.

Finally, after blitzing the washing up, I grabbed the rest of the cake and went to flop on the Panther outside.

…..

A/N- another update! I've not got much to say other than I somehow ended up including a legit cake 800-word recipe into this chapter? There's a version on YouTube and it's the bomb. Anyway, hope you like it! (the chapter, not the recipe)

Thanks again for reading and don't forget to review x