DISCLAIMER- I am but a plebeian who owns zilch. Capeesh?

…

Fugaku was scary as shit.

He stood like a brick wall in the open doorway, ignoring his family as he stared down his nose at me. I had no fucking clue what he was thinking, his face a perfect mask.

Well, if you ignored the distain.

I assumed that was a permanent fixture.

Now, my first dad had been super stern- in fact, both my folks had been- and I'd always felt a bit sad for what happened to Fugaku.

This didn't mean I didn't think he was a massive arsehole. It was the kind of sympathy I had for my mean classmate that had ended up in Juvie (Obviously, this wasn't quite the same but- it was a similar cocktail of emotion, jerks who kinda deserved what they got but were so miserable you kinda felt bad). The man was a massive douchbag and led his Clan to ruin…which was also filled with douchbags…but…his death had been terrible.

I didn't think anyone deserved that.

Except, like, Hitler or someone.

"And who is this?" the silence was finally broken and I jerked out of my thoughts. Fugaku's voice was cool and his eyes flickered briefly between Mikoto, Itachi and I.

I felt a bit bad for Sasuke, being left out of the western-style stand-off, before I remembered that he was a baby and therefore the luckiest person in this room right now.

"D-Dazai Kiharu, Uchiha-sama..." I subtly pushed my shoulders back, tilting my chin like my first mother had taught me.

If you looked in control, everyone thought you were.

"…Mikoto-hime," the slightest twitch of an eyebrow and I congratulated myself, "Invited me around for tea a few weeks back and ever since I've come to visit a few times a week."

"Shujin, Kiharu-chan is the one who brings the cakes." Mikoto spoke up as Fugaku finally moved into the room, sweeping past me and seating himself at the table. Whilst Itachi was as stoic as usual, Mikoto was smiling gently as she set out another cup for Fugaku. Jeez, I get that she loved her family but…the woman must have had terrible taste in men. As the adults redistributed the tea, Itachi and I sat ourselves down again, although I made a point to sit seiza as gracefully as possible.

Maybe I could have made a point by ignoring any and all social queues and spilling tea into Fugaku's lap whilst stuffing my face with cream but, honestly? I didn't really want Fugaku to think I was some ruffian picked up off the street. I was an adorable child! …Who also really needed to continue with her little business ventures/friendships with his clan…hehe.

Also...Neko-ka had taught me better.

Fugaku was going to look like an uncultured ape next to me!

"Cakes?" the man raised an eyebrow again and I smiled demurely around the rim of my teacup, resisting the urged to throw it at his head. My hand twitched and I had to put the cup down, lest the temptation overwhelmed me. It was a bloody good venture and I always got super defensive when people looked at me with that pitying-tolerant 'I'm humouring you, silly child' look on their faces.

It was going to work...grr.

"Yes, Uchiha-sama." I carefully met Mikoto's eyes across the table before continuing on, smiling pleasantly at the Uchiha Clan Head, even as his onyx eyes narrowed silently at me. "I'm going to open up a bakery."

Fugaku was nothing if not a shrewd man, not just because he was a Clan Head, of the snakey-ish pit of snakes that ever snaked, but also because the man was a war-seasoned shinobi. And Chief of police.

AKA one badass motherfucker.

I definitely wanted the Police on my side. Not that I was planning on committing a crime any time soon, or any anytime, but it would be nice to have such an influential institute in my good books (and vice versa). Also, the most important thing about this whole set up…

Do cops really enjoy donuts?

"I see…and you are friends with my son?" he looked between the two of us and I clenched a fist. Even if one was still a baby, the man could at least acknowledge he had two kids…It made sense in my head, okay?

I'll admit I was being more than a bit biased towards the man. Maybe, I admitted reluctantly, even a bit…unfair. He'd not actually been rude or anything, yet. It was just… I couldn't help but see that whole Uchiha disaster as his fault.

He should, in my eyes, have punted the elders out of Fire country if they were so troublesome.

"Yes, Otou-sama."

"Hai, Uchiha-sama. I am also good friends with Shisui-kun, as well."

"Hn. And you plan on making a business out of this, correct?" he turned to eye his eldest as Itachi obediently swallowed the marshmallows I absentmindedly nudged onto his plate.

"Hai, Uchiha-sama! Teuchi-san, from Ichiraku Ramen, has agreed to let me open a dessert counter in his stall." I smiled at Mikoto, who looked surprised, before turning to look at her husband again. Okay, so maybe my smile was just a touch smug. Could you blame me? "I hope to have a bakery open in a few more years."

The man looked vaguely intrigued, his eyes no longer coldly humouring some random chit whom, in his eyes, his wife must've scooped off the street like some lost dog. I was, at this point, maybe a little bit interesting. A girl wanting to start a bakery was laughable. But if the girl already had her foot in the market, not even ten-years-old?

An interesting diversion, perhaps.

"What are you selling, Kiharu-chan?" Mikoto smiled gently, reaching to flawlessly top up my tea.

Aware that I didn't want to dominate the conversion and look like a stuck-up prig (considering the Compound I was sat in, that was a laughable concept), I explained the treats on sale from that morning before I started asking about any more occasions Mikoto would like a dessert for. The woman eagerly (for an Uchiha, she just looked more animated by normal standards) started on about a tea party for all the women of the Clan that was scheduled in three weeks. I suggested Tiramisu (I'd started 'experimenting' with coffee the previous weekend) to which the Uchiha Matriarch requested a sample by next Friday. Fugaku actually looked like a normal husband at that point, as I could easily spot the look of bewilderment on his face.

Itachi had been silent this entire time, which wasn't any different than usual, but I was still hyperaware of the delicacy of the current situation.

Fugaku may have been playing nice right now but there was a reason all laughter cut off when he entire his own home. And it wasn't some kind of bullshit respect thing either.

I wondered if the tensions between Itachi, Sasuke and Fugaku had already started to emerge.

Then I wondered what kind of bullshit father neglected one child – one that was like a year old? – in favour for another. (a stream of characters paraded through my head and I felt a sweatdrop form)

When it was almost noon, meaning dad would be back soon, I started to excuse myself. In typical fashion, of course.

Hey, just because I started out polite didn't mean I had the attention span to see it through!

"Well! I think it's almost lunchtime and Tou-san should be back from border patrol soon. Feel free to finish all this off, Mikoto-hime, Itachi-chan-" I pointedly glanced between the marshmallows and chocolate, "-and I'll be 'round next Friday with the tiramisu, if that's fine with you?" as I spoke, I rose from my cramped seiza and straightened my clothes.

Two of the Uchiha (Sasuke didn't count) were gaping wordlessly (meaning, their mouths were slightly open and eyes a bit wider) and I smiled smugly, pleased that I could still surprise them. Fugaku just looked affronted.

At this point, I was pretty sure the man was just like Hitoshi.

Except, minus the whole I'm-fond-of-you bit. Meaning, he was just a dick.

I was a whirlwind as I left, dropping a kiss onto Mikoto's cheek and Itachi and Sasuke's foreheads before waving goodbye as I skipped out the door. Ahhh, there was nothing like flaunting your closeness with someone in front of others. Especially if those 'others' didn't like you.

Well, the only thing better was making strangers question Genma's gender by using female pronouns…hehehe.

The Compound wasn't very busy, just a few people on the streets, but I made sure to smile and wave to all the faces I recognised.

Mainly, it was the brats who got sweets off me, the mothers who thought I was a cutie/a responsible lil' girl, and all the men and guards who were suckers for a big-eyed puppy pout.

So, most people. (Minus the other half of the Clan that was made up of dicks, elitists or people who were both!)

Fugaku may not have completely scorned me but I could see the disinterest as clear as day on his face. I'd spent enough time in the Compound by now that I was getting pretty good as reading faces. If I wanted to created bonds between the civilians and the Uchiha, more personable bonds at that, then I needed to draw them out.

…With cakes.

Okay, it sounded better in my head.

As soon as I was clear of the property, the smile dropped.

I was hardly gonna take that lying down, now was I?

…..

It was empty.

Empty. The fridge, the one I had stuffed full of dessert, was empty.

Teuchi handed me a wad of bills, a happy flush colouring his face and a massive grin shining proudly.

"Your desserts sold out by lunchtime, Kiharu-chan!" I gaped down at the money and swayed a bit on my feet. "We'll need fresh stock for tomorrow!"

"H-Hai!"

I shoved the pouch into the special pocket folds in Hitoshi's bandana, who'd met up with me on the Market Street, and tried not to think about how I'd just earned more money than I had ever had in this life. Well, independently of my folks.

I was a kid, it wasn't hard.

I'd had a decent bit of money in my previous life, what with student loans and various jobs, but…that was digital. Just numbers on a screen, meaningless things that dropped and rose on an app.

Hard cash was a fair bit more…intimidating.

I wanted to do that Leonardo DiCaprio meme and roll in the money. I could totally understand it now.

It wasn't that much, okay. I'd probably made just under 13,000 ¥ (about 350¥ each) which wasn't a lot. But, come on! This was day fucking one! I'd made just under 50 desserts and I'd definitely have to up the ante for tomorrow.

"Yay, yay, yay!" I bounded round the panther as he prowled down the street. I got some weird looks but I didn't give a shit. I may have been a self-conscious 20-year-old when I died but, well, I died. That kinda thing does wonders for your 'fuck-it-I'm-gonna-do-shit' attitude.

"Ah!" I caught sight of a welcome face and scampered over to Inoichi and Sora-oba (Ino on one hip) as they strolled towards me. "Inoichi-oji!" I grinned. "My fridge-stall went really really well! Teuchi-san thinks I'm going to have to make so much more for tomorrow – he sold out by lunchtime!"

The tall blond grinned down at me, even as he swept me under his arm, stride unbroken. "Congratulations, Kiharu-chan! Why don't you join us for an early dinner and tell us everything, ay? Hitoshi," the T&I Chief turned to my companion, who rolled his eyes. Tch. "could you go and ask Seiichi to meet us at the Akimichi's just past Yuri's?" The over-grown housecat sighed like he'd been asked to bench-press the Hokage tower – kami-sama, those images – before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Well!" Inoichi-oji twirled me with our joined hands (…I loved it, hehe) as Sora-oba smiled tolerantly and continued on down the street. "I hope you're hungry, Ki-chan!"

The night was lovely, with the sky painted peach and pink as the sun set. Lanterns lit the streets and lights shone out onto the packed-earth paths from the various shops and restaurants that lined the road. People, on their way home from work or to work, for food or for goods, were milling around and there was chatter in the air.

All it really needed was some street music.

(I'd have to fix that when I was older.)

This Akimichi restaurant was called the Black Spider Lily (like Ino-Shika-Cho's debut attack in the anime…?) and thankfully wasn't overwhelmingly full. The room was filled with homely amber light, with framed photographs of Fire country lining the walls and large polished tables surrounded by chairs. The kitchen was in full swing, hidden behind an oak-panelled countertop and filled with sparkling stainless-steel facilities. The fresh and spicy scent let me know that this was a sushi joint…and the fact that everyone was eating sushi.

Oh my gawd, yesssssss.

"Shikaku!" Inoichi called as he weaved between tables, waving off the hostess as he spotted the Nara family towards the back. The Jonin commander was already in on the sake and I could tell, even half way across the room and too short for a clear view, that Yoshino was glaring at it. The bottle would probably go missing before dinner was over, I had little doubt. Tou-san was already there (Hitoshi was absent, he was even more grouchy in crowds) and frantically waved me into the seat beside him.

He was endearingly like a little kid sometimes…most of the time…all the time.

Shika was slumped over like a ragdoll in his highchair (I would never recover from the prison which had been my own) and Chouji was swinging his cute little stumpy legs next to him. A black-haired woman – pixie cut on fleeek – was pouring juice into a Sippy cup next to him. Sora-oba slipped in next to her as I scrambled into my own seat, dad's arm already curling around my shoulders. The restaurant was pretty loud and, added to the din of the kitchen, Neko-tou had to lean into my ear to ask me how my day had been. His cheeks were flushed and the atmosphere, alongside my triumph at Ichiraku's, had me almost buoyant with happiness.

"Kiharu-chan! This is Kaiya, Chouji's mother and the owner of this restaurant!" Sora-oba raised her voice over the noise with a gentle smile, gesturing to the other women.

"Hi!" I grinned, leaning over to grip her offered hand firmly. She was so cool! One of the few women to make an independent name for herself, I wanted to be like her one day. I would've pushed for an introduction before this, having babysat Chouji plenty, but I didn't really want to rely on the success of my elders.

Kaiya had clawed her way up by herself. If I wanted to do the same, I couldn't rely on those connections.

It would kinda defeat the point!

"I hear you sold out at the ramen stall," the tall woman prompted and dad leaned forward eagerly at the news. I launched into my explanation as Kaiya sat back and listen attentively. She was pretty stern and I thought she liked me, but I couldn't be sure. She was actually really intimidating, the kind of woman who'd silence a classroom of rowdy kids just by opening the door. Her hair, pixie-short and pitch black, made her sharp eyes (rimmed with orange eyeshadow) even more severe. She was a well-rounded woman, as was the norm for her Clan, but I would never mistake that predators look in her eye. She wouldn't hurt me but she was definitely a shark in the business. Brilliant, but only if she was on your side.

I might never lean on her but I was frickin praying she appreciated my baby-charming skills.

Dad had already ordered my first round for me (avocado, always) and the food was just starting to arrive when Shikamaru finally dragging his head off the high-chair table. He was across from me and immediately latched his eyes on my face, a put-out scowl twisting cherub cheeks when he realised I was out of reach.

Did I mention how much I loved him?

I wiggled my fingers playfully at the two baby boys, making Chouji gurgle cutely and Shika stare. Okay, so he wasn't exactly an interactive baby…but Shika-chan was brilliant for my ego! Yoshino was wafting a spoonful of foul baby 'food' (shit, I remembered) and getting exactly zero reaction. That boy was gonna get the spoon shoved in his face at some point, for the sheer cheek of ignoring a gale-force like his mother. Chouji, of course, had no problem eating.

His perpetually open mouth (even when full of food already, gross) reminded me of baby birds in a nest.

I really did need to get a grip on my imagination.

The meal was a cheerful one, filled with lively conversation and yummy food. Of course, Tou-san did nearly get stabbed with my chopsticks when he playfully went for my spicy tuna but, well, he should have known better by now. I mean, think of all the shit I pulled as a baby. I set dad's flash cards on fire.

Regardless, it felt like family. We didn't stay too late as I still needed to bake for the morning and the babies had a very early bedtime. I did, however, manage to purr for Shika for a moment or two when I gave him an eskimo kiss goodbye. Chouji got a peck on the head (that boy was snotty) and Ino was too busy crying for me to do more than wave at her red and snarling face over Sora-oba's shoulder. Yikes, that girl.

Dad almost relapsed when I blushed red at the pat I got from Shikaku (and Chouza) whilst the women smiled at me.

When we got home, I blitzed through the products for the next day, emotionally exhausted from the whirl-wind that were the Uchiha and my extended family and 300% ready for sleep.

I was so tired that my bed felt like it was hugging me back when I fell into it, fully clothed.

Turned out, when I woke the next morning, I'd fallen into Dad's bed instead…hehe, oops.

….

The next few weeks were a whirlwind, where Teuchi and I finally had to draw the line and settle for 60 desserts per day. The first-come-first-serve policy was a bit tense, in all honesty.

"Pleaseeeee, Kiharu-chan!" Hana wined, fully utilising the combined puppy-eye power of the Trio, as she grasped onto the front of my yukata. "I totally forgot and Kaa-san's gonna kill me!"

"Hana," I shrugged guiltily, even though it wasn't my fault. The fridge was empty by 2pm and that was just the way it was. "I'm sorry but all my baking is for tomorrow's batch…why don't you get her something else?"

"Urgh, Kiharu…But she wanted key-lime and she didn't even have a card to open this morning!"

I pinched my kouhai's cheeks as I narrowed my eyes at her, face miserable and squashed between my hands. "Well, it's hardly my fault if you forgot your own mother's birthday!"

The demand had started decreasing gradually, however, as the novelty wore off. We still sold out by two o' clock most days but the hustle and bustle had eased. Maybe it wasn't demand but just people getting used to availability? I didn't know, I was a brat, after all.

I'd started regularly circulating a list of desserts (for my eyes only) which meant that the selection changed day-by-day. Despite this, after almost three weeks, the regulars had tasted almost everything I'd put forward for the stall. I was in no way out of recipes but I'd have to start experimenting again soon. But with the fridge, it wasn't like I'd hit a wall, or anything, but I could sense a shift. Once people had tried the stuff, quite a few only came back rarely, some probably preferred the usual dishes they had grown up with and others were my faithful regulars.

Speaking of faithful regulars-

"Hi, Kiharu-chan!" an arm was slung over my shoulder (making me lean over wonky) and I was pulled against Shisui's side. Or rather, he was pulled into mine, considering the height difference of almost 4 inches. It was adorable and I was very proud of it.

"Shisui-kun!" I whooped, looping an arm around my best friend's waist and reeling him in for a hug. He'd been gone for weeks now, some mission I couldn't know about. He was awfully busy for a nine-year-old. I ducked his head under my chin, pressed into my neck – just because I could – and squeezed the stuffing out of him.

He'd missed so much! And Ensui was no fun anymore without Shisui there to help me tag-team him out of training. We still got on brilliantly, of course, but our time together was so much more sedate without our energetic third member. And Ensui was only getting busier, the Chuunin exams drawing closer every day. The older Nara may have been just as lethargic as Shikamaru, but he was much more intense in his training regime. I'd last seen him a week ago, when I'd dragged him from his house in the early morning for a breakfast picnic.

As yummy as it was, filled with the Nara's favourites, his baleful glare let me know I was in no way excused.

Shisui chuckled at my enthusiasm, patting my back and sighing in relief when I finally let him go. I'd probably been crushing his lungs as his face was all flushed and smile a bit dopey…he was a ninja! He could deal, huh!

That day was spent filling in the older boy on all he had missed. He tried to fill me in as well, telling me about a herd of deer he'd seen and all the cool stuff in the villages he'd passed through but…most of it was classified and some of the other stuff obviously reminded him of difficult things. When I saw the happy gleam in his eyes start to fade, I'd rush in with the latest anecdote and it would come flaring back, making me sigh with relief. It was an illusion of normalcy as much as it wasn't.

We walked all over the place, stopping for chicken and coconut buns at lunchtime and then popping in to see Genma fight with his nurses (he aggravated his neck wound complaining so much and the nurse took malicious pleasure in assigning him another week's stay). Shisui was a great listener; ooh'-ing and 'Ahh'-ing (a bit cluelessly) over my display (and making my eyebrow twitch when he asked what the point of all the lace was if it wasn't edible). Of course, Shisui wasn't perfect, thank Kami. He ate far too much to be healthy for his stomach (he was my best customer) and didn't get on with Izumo or Kotetsu (the respect after Genma's hospitalisation had quickly faded back to some strange rivalry, as if each side had suddenly remembered that the other was a dick) as well as teasing me relentlessly when the mood struck him.

I loved him anyway.

Sometimes I just wanted to squirrel him home with me, where he wouldn't have to go back to a cold house with some distant Aunt (I'd never met). He'd eat dinner with Neko-tou and Hitoshi and I and laugh and be a kid all the time, not just when he was with me and Ensui. I could almost see us, barefoot and in our pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate with the panther. I just…wanted them all to be happy. I'd used to wish the same thing about Itachi but Mikoto was such a loving mother, there was no one else I'd rather he be with.

I wondered if I was going to be this adoring of chibi-Naruto as well.

…sigh.

Undoubtedly.

…

The next morning, I was making my way to Genma's room when I saw he already had a visitor.

To update on my escapades, my previous attempts at matchmaking had missed the mark, somewhat.

Making them bump into each other, holding their hands as I walked between them and then trying to make them hold hands as I was leaving – these were all so amateur, I was frankly embarrassed by myself.

It was evidently the time for a more direct approach.

Coming from me? That was a heads up for catastrophe…at least for them.

"Genma-nee!" I bounced through the door, arms clasping a box of four matcha-cream donuts to my lil' chest. The scene I had stumbled in on was one of an interrupted break-out.

Raidou was so responsible and caring in his own way~

The Tokubetsu Jonin was half-out of his hospital bed, already dressed in clothes from who-knows-where, whilst Raidou was grasping his arms (cough, fists prepped to punch, cough) and almost shoving him back under the covers. The two were growling at each other (Genma had undoubtedly pissed his partner off) and I saw my golden moment.

"Is this what 'Toshi calls mating?"

The two men snapped their heads to look at me, Genma's cool and Raidou's collected façade shattering into identical expressions of horror.

They then went steaming tomato red and threw themselves away from each other. Raidou went arse-over-teakettle when he smacked into his abandoned chair. Genma almost leapt under the covers as he scrambled back into his previously-forsaken bed. As if that would hide him from me? Pfft.

Before either could recover, I continued maliciously (on the outside I was blinking like Bambi).

"Good." I nodded firmly, seeing them separate. "Raidou would have to be my brother-in-law before you get all kissy!"

The ninja in question was frozen in shock on the floor whilst Genma let out a garbled groan from under the covers. Lunging over, perhaps enjoying my role a bit too much, I ripped the sheet from over his head and pointed impetuously at my second victim over my shoulder. "No, nee-chan! Don't give in!" oh fuck, this was the best bit-! "Kaa-san said I shouldn't let any boy near me without dating him for ages!"

"Raidou-nii!" well, I may as well be as pointed as possible- "Take my nee-san to dinner before you try and sedu – ggurk-!"

The hand over my mouth was connected to a cherry-red Genma. Who looked like he wanted to toss me in the Naka. And then, maybe, pitch himself in too.

So frickin' worth it though~

…

A/N- I'm sorry! I had loads of deadlines before breaking up for Easter Holidays and then I had a tonne of travelling to do... But, excuses aside, I am here! With, more importantly, an update! I'm setting aside a fuck tonne of time this week as well to binge write some chapters. This means I'll hopefully be writing a few chapters ahead of posting so the updates can keep flowing even if I take some time off.

Anyway! It's chapter 12 people! Time to comment on what bfs you want our girl to date!

This can be a crush that goes no-where, one of her boyfriends or the eventual pairing! I want this to be as relatable as possible in all honesty so please give me some detail as to what you'd like or how you feel about the pairings as well! Even if you don't normally comment or are a guest, please contribute! Everyone here gets a say and I'll try to take everyone into account when I make some decisions! Remember, we're in this for the long haul haha so the romance won't crop up 'til she hits puberty and at that age it will be silly crushes until she's like 16/17 :3
Thanks for reading! xxx