DISCLAIMER- Do I really have to do this again? *Sigh* I own nothing.

….

The next few months blurred by.

One moment it was August and the next it was January.

?

There were no more frantic hospital visits (even if Tou-san got a scar across his bicep from the Land of Rivers) or some horrendous event looming on the horizon. Life was relatively peaceful, if busy. October had been miserable and wet, ironically appropriate for the anniversary of Kyuubi. Dad had stood by Kaa-san's headstone for ages, absently stroking the cold stone with a sad smile. I left some pretty glass beads for Noko, next to the silk flowers left by her parents.

Ino and Shika had celebrated their first birthday earlier in the month. I gave Shikamaru a hand-sewn felt deer (not all that aesthetic but it was sweet and I scented it thoroughly with my pine-soap – Hitoshi told me to, some weird cat-thing maybe – so it smelled of me) and a rose-patterned baby-kimono for Ino. But, aside from some small milestones, life just…moved on.

I was growing complacent at this point. 60 desserts each night and then shopping and work in the day. I was gradually refining my stock (just because I remembered how to make some stuff didn't mean it was great) and settling on a more secure menu, based on the most popular dishes. Also, as much as I hated Japanese, I was slowly working my way through it. I wasn't great, which was so annoying considering how much I had enjoyed reading and writing in my previous life, but I was slowly working on it.

There was absolutely no fucking way I was going to be uneducated.

I'd have to be reincarnated as a shrub to stop me from learning shit.

Dad was so much busier now than when I was younger. Whilst, for a while, he'd stopped taking missions outside of the village (when he became a single parent), the loss of Shinobi from both the War and Kyuubi meant there was strain to cover demand. Ergo, he was gone a lot. Ensui, who was in Suna for the Chuunin Exams at the moment, and Shisui were away more as well. Even Izumo and Kotetsu were always scurrying about on D ranks!

Hana had finally entered the Academy and was taking her class by storm. Itachi was in the same class as her and I was just waiting for the prodigy bomb to go off any day now.

Genma, back on the rota and still twitchy when the three of us (Raidou, Genma and myself) were in the same room, was definitely in full-time ANBU. Not only was he never in the Hokage tower these days, but he would go off on missions for ages, with barely a heads-up. I only really saw him once a month, which was starting to piss me off.

Hitoshi was, of course, around, just as always. We got on like a house on fire, despite our biting sarcasm. I'd have said that I'd never been closer to the cat but- we'd always been extremely close. I'd barely been without the feline for the majority of my life, even if I still couldn't summon him. It had taken weeks of meditation – which was hard as I kept falling asleep – to finally feel the subtle tingle of 'chakra' in my limbs

I was still half convinced that that was just pins and needles from sitting too long.

Anyway, that 'feeling' was about as far as I'd gotten with the whole 'summoning' front. Hitoshi definitely overestimated how difficult it was to use chakra the older you got, even if I wasn't really committing myself, had the issues of my mind not quite believing I could, and I was only a little older than most academy kids. It had been around 6 months of extremely half-hearted attempts and I certainly was taking longer that conceivably possible. I should probably get a move on, anyway…

But the issue with Hitoshi, aside from being a stick-in-the-mud?

He was a fucking cat.

Call me crazy for wanting human companionship.

So, yeah, I felt a bit out of it.

Most of my friends were too busy nowadays to play around. They weren't children anymore.

This coming from the kid who wanted to become a business owner before 12. Ahem.

Speaking of children, a civilian girl called Mariko had invited me to join in her game when I walked passed the playground a few weeks back.

Ahh, warning signs already, right?

Yeah, that's right. It didn't go well.

Why were they all so stupid? The girls, whose names I unapologetically forgot as soon as they said them, just giggled and sat around, playing with the swings. Now, I loved swings (who the fuck didn't?) but there were only two on the bars so we had to take it in turns. The girls were so slow, barely swinging at all and then just loitering instead of moving off so I could have a go! And then, when I started going as high as possible, they started squealing. And babbling about how dangerous that was and they were gonna tell Kaa-san because that's naughty to go so high and omg Kiharu you're so brave~

I wasn't welcome back when I flipped them the bird and told them to stop being so annoying.

Not my finest moment, I'll admit.

It was just-urgh. I'd been spoiled with ninja children, in all honesty. They were so much more mature than my neighbourhood kiddies, talking much like I did.

I didn't really feel older than my peers, especially with the boys, because I still felt emotion like I was a little girl and they were all so mature. My older memories meant I was more jaded and had been self-aware my entire life (it was weird when I dream-remembered being in the womb again) and could understand things that would pass over the heads of others. Let's not forget, as well, the veritable encyclopaedia of Naruto in my head. And all my Uni coursework I sometimes caught myself stressing over, before I remembered I had frickin' died and so didn't have to sit that exam.

But anyway! I was living as a child and everything but…that didn't mean my matured and developed brain didn't get pissed off. I tried not to be so affected by a technical 'age difference' (I was not gonna sabotage my own life and happiness by isolating myself from everyone, thanks very much) but the girls…they were obviously their own people but, at such a young age, they seemed so shallow.

I wondered if this was why ninja felt so disjointed from their civilian counterparts.

All they had talked about were flowers and dresses and, as much as I would happily have girl-talked from dawn 'til dusk, I hadn't been in the mood. It frustrated me that that was all they could talk about. They were sweet and simple but there was no deeper discussion. Their personalities weren't developed enough to engage me. Like when I played toys with my younger cousins, their thought processes frustrated me. It was more fun to choose to talk about trivial things than to be forced to. Is this what child-geniuses felt like?

I was also in a terrible, unforgiving mood which would never in a million years have mixed well with children. I'd never been very good making friends.

My darling Noko had been a stroke of luck, a baby that caught my attention via my usual antics, and then Hana and the boys had just fallen into place.

In my previous life, I had been part of a friendship group throughout my time at school. Despite over 6 years of friendship, as soon as we left we never spoke again. Until I met my best friends at University, I'd never realised how empty those friendships had been. I'd always felt out of sync, going through the motions of closeness but never actually feeling it. The children here were similar; I could smile and wave and laugh with the kids in the market place, or in my neighbourhood, but it didn't feel right.

When you reached that level of closeness with some people, those other friendships just felt fake. Because they weren't actually real, just children passing time and not wanting to be alone. You weren't there because you knew them and loved who they were inside, but because your parents had told you to go out and play and they weren't annoying.

Noko may have come from a ninja family but she'd been a normal girl! She'd had no issues making friends and I'd often wondered why she chose me, of all people, to cling onto. She'd been good and pure and sweet and I missed her. She'd been my first friend here and I was so sad she wasn't around anymore to see my bakery or for me to cheer her on as a kunoichi. We'd already planned to live together when we were older. We'd giggled and dreamed of times when Noko would stop being a ninja and open up a flower shop joined onto my bakery. I'd have been her Maid of Honour and she'd have been mine. And if we didn't find love? We'd have lived together forever.

I'll admit I'd fucked it up at the playground but I wasn't invested enough to particularly care.

But…maybe I'd try again.

…When they all hit puberty and got vastly more entertaining.

…..

My little celebration of Christmas (winter felt so long and empty without it) was interrupted by-

Nothing.

There wasn't really anyone around to interrupt. Or so it sometimes felt like.

As the days grew shorter, the darkness had started affecting my mood.

My honey glazed pork (the smallest joint at the market) was just a touch too salty (I forgot to soak it the night before) and my parsnips were a bit charred but, all in all, it was tasty. Starchy and heavy food that I missed. Like the previous years, I had dressed in Kaa-san's sweater with purple knitted tights and the throw from the sofa around my shoulders. It felt like a little ritual and the thought brought me comfort.

Hitoshi had left that morning to help dad on his escort mission to Tea (I asked for dried rose tea as a souvenir) and the house was silent. Normally, my family would never have left me home alone but, with Kaa-san gone and Dad busier than ever and in need of his summon, there wasn't much choice.

Whilst I was sometimes glad for the time alone, where I could sit and remember and make plans, these past months had been pretty lonely.

There was such a thing as being stuck in your own head.

Thinking was dangerous. It made me panic and think about all the mistake I could have made. It made me sad, thinking about all that I had lost. Those thoughts really shook me. I'd never been a pessimistic person, sarcastic sure, but never anything I couldn't immediately bounce back from. Thinking like this…I wondered who I was becoming. Was this because I'd died, because of losing people or from being born into a Shinobi world? I didn't know.

I thought about being reborn again. I hoped I'd live a full life this time around but then, what if I was reincarnated again?

Would it hurt more to have another life cut off short or to have to do it all again?

I'd had nightmares before, about never living past my 20th birthday, like in that one book I'd read. The girl had been reborn countless times and, no matter what she did, she always died on her 20th birthday. Even when she tried to end it all beforehand, she would survive until then.

My imagination had always been overactive and now, in an empty house with leave-less branches pressing against the windows, I spooked myself more times than I cared to count.

I worried about what could be happening to the others, not just on their missions but in general. Was Gaara alone? Was Naruto?

I tried very hard not to think about Noko at this point. (There…had been a reason…I had been desperate for a body. It was a far-fetched theory- a nightmare, in honesty- considering all the missing people from that night, but my mind had never been very good at granting me peace.

I didn't dare think about any of it.)

I tried very hard to focus on the cakes in the oven, the dishes I was washing, the kettle as it whistled.

It was at this time that I rewrote the most songs, branching out from Disney to include some love songs like Celine Dion or Ed Sheeran. Whatever I remembered best. It tended to be older songs, that I had sung for a lifetime, or the catchiest recent hits which had been stuck in my head when I'd died. It was the easiest way to cheer myself up when I got it right or distract myself when I hit a road block. The house, for the most part a bit on the empty side (but then, when hadn't it been after Kaa-san died?), echoed with my poor vocals. At this point in life, I didn't even care if I sounded average.

I'd never missed fanfiction more. I sometimes smiled when I remembered a particularly funny headcanon or fanart from Tumblr. I remembered scenes from my favourite fics, ones I had read over and over and then I'd wish I could read them again.

Films too. I remembered the up-side-down car chase in Men in Black and the dance off in A Very Goofy Movie. I could hum along to the instrumental from Pride and Prejudice (any of them) or rein-act pretty much the entire Grinch movie. I'd drawn the Grinch when I was a kid, telling Neko-ka that it was a grumpy moss fairy and she'd laughed at my imagination. I'd pretended Cindy-Lou was her (the hair colour had been close enough in colour).

So, I had a lot of time alone and found myself seeking out company (no more playground kids, though). Sora-oba was always a good bet but with her came the screaming mood-killer of my imouto. After running for the hills after the first few visits were cut short by dulcet shrieks, I decided to suck it up.

So, that winter, I spent plenty of time babysitting.

At this point, I was pretty much the elder sister to the entire next generation of Ino-Shika-Chou, despite only planning on Ino. All three of them were permanent fixtures in my heart, though. Shika was always on my shoulder and Chouji, if I sat cross legged on the floor, would tumble like a panda cub into my lap and then happily stay put for hours. Ino was considerably more independent, shakily crawling around my general vicinity in between bouts of tears.

I wondered if she'd ever give up on making such a racket.

Remembering the fuss she'd made in the anime- never mind.

Heaving the babies around was not only good exercise (I needed to work off all that cream) but also an excellent distraction. They were incredibly time consuming and they made me feel so happy. I'd always loved kids and maybe, in this life, I could finally get to have some. Being the youngest before and an only child now, I revelled in the adoration of my charges.

Well, Chouji was my darling cinnamon roll (maybe a red panda cub?). Shika just used me like an audible cat cushion and Ino wasn't too interested in anything but working out the fastest ways to get attention.

It also gave me plenty of time to chat with their mothers.

Sora-oba and I had never been closer. I was hesitant to call her another mother-figure but she was certainly as close to me as my elder sisters had been. My healthy respect for Yoshino had grown even more. She was a bit too mean for my tastes (I could be savage, I'll admit, but for the most part that was funny) and I wasn't sure how she could yell at Shikaku instead of shower him in adoration (cough), but kudos to her, I guessed. She was pretty bad ass. I just kind of wished she'd lay off Ensui, he was looking a bit peaky these days. Finally, Kaiya was a busy woman, running a business, but she always made sure to have time for Chouji and I admired her even more for that. She'd briefly mentioned the past week if I was planning on expanding my sales to other restaurants etc but I hesitated.

I'd been an idiot, I knew, thinking I could go it alone. Kaiya had given me a very stern talking to about the differences between good working relationships and being carried by others, but I was still leery.

I'd been approached, both Teuchi and I had, about selling my recipes or working for others but I didn't want to. Minato, the kind and wonderful man, had bought me a patent for my recipes when I'd called the Yondaime's after him. (He'd floundered so hard when I'd cried, not knowing how to do that myself. Normally you had to get a patent for a collection or per item but Minato, being Hokage, had wrangled me a blanket one.) So, if any recipes that were knock-offs of mine emerged, I could press charges or demand royalties.

I just didn't want to be used.

The next logical step was, in my mind, to start my own market stall.

Getting the council's permission for that venture? Not so easy.

I was a civilian child wanting to own a valuable part of the marketplace, which was the most important contributor, aside from missions, to Konoha's economy.

Haha, I didn't think so.

I was almost tempted to start a petition (the Uchiha kids would definitely sign…well, the ones who were old enough to know how to write) but I figured it would be much more impressive if I went through 'official channels' successfully.

Also, I didn't really think a bunch of brats signing a sheet would have much of an effect other than to piss off the bureaucracy by 'wasting their time'.

Thus, enter diabolical plan #1.

Genma AKA plan 'Lets-appease-ANBU-motherfuckers!'

"Nee-san!" I whooped, flinging myself with practised ease into the arms of my wandering older brother. The man in question, out of Konoha for two months, the bastard, caught me easily. I was hugged firmly for a few minutes before the man got bored of holding a girl half his size and plonked me back down to ground.

And what did I do in retribution for such a brief cuddle after such a long absence?

"Nee-san!" I grabbed his left hand between mine and gasped in disappointment at seeing it unadorned. "No ring, yet? But I want to be a flower girl!"

The hand was yanked from mine and Genma frantically glanced around for eavesdroppers (or maybe just Raidou). "Brat," he hissed, pulling me into Ichiraku's like one would enter a bomb shelter (hastily and with great paranoia).

"You can't say things like that, kid," Genma tried to convince me for the thousandth time as I smiled happily, trotting along beside him as he headed for the bar.

"Although," I continued loudly, as if I hadn't been so rudely interrupted. Ichiraku's was busy, anyway. "If the two of you had gotten married without me, I'd never have forgiven you! I'd make your lives miserable!" I declared, pretending I didn't hear the older man grouch that I was doing that already.

Ahh, sweet, sweet vengeance.

"What's this about marriage, Shiranui-san?" Teuchi innocently asked as he came over to take our orders. I beamed when he winked at me, away from Genma's gaze.

Of course, at this latest development, the senbon-wielder had smacked his head on the countertop with a low groan so he wasn't exactly paying attention.

"Careful, nee-san," I cautioned, ticking off a ramen from my tally. "If you hurt yourself, Raidou-nii might try and take care of you and then-" I stoked his head consolingly, "I'll be forced to defend you again."

I couldn't wait to fuck things up when we were older and Genma became a 'heart-throb'. I, rather evilly, planned to be my 'sister's' own self-appointed 'cock-block' and I was sure to have a whale of a time (until he eventually killed me).

But, ahem, I had a mission so screwing with his mind would have to be put aside for now.

"Genma-nee, do any of your friends want to try my cakes?" I cocked my head like a curious bird and Genma's eye peaked over the top of his folded arms at the shift in topic.

I moved back, as did my companion, when Teuchi slid the ramen in front of us and took a moment to praise the man, before soldiering on.

"I know you're a really important shinobi, nee-san…but Minato-sama used to say that little things made a difference, like my Yondaime's."

I pursed my lips, swirling my noodles and wondering why I felt so shy.

"Would…they like some dessert?"

Genma's heavy hand came to rest on top of my head as he picked up his chopsticks with the other.

"That sounds nice, kid."

….

Of course, all good things have to come to an end.

This particular 'ending' came in the form of a dessert disaster.

And it wasn't my fault.

"WAhh!" I half-screamed, tiramisu flying up into the air, when a heavy weight crashed into my back and sent me to the ground.

There were yells all around us as the person who'd ploughed over on top of me scrambled up quickly, painfully stabbing me with heels and elbows. I lay there, head tilted to stare furiously at the mess of cake and cream on the dusty earth.

My beautiful tiramisus, specially made for Mikoto's tea party (the first time around had been a great hit), were completely ruined.

Whoever that was…I was going to kill them-

"S-sorry! Sorry!" the criminal, a boy, babbled as he tugged on my coat, trying to get me upright. There were yells from above us – ninja on the rooftops, I figured – and the boy, holding me up by my hood, dropped me back on my face as he swore and continued running up the road.

Plonk.

Lifting my head, dusty and bruised and with a bit of cream smeared somewhere, I caught sight of a dark ponytail as the gaki bolted.

If that was a Nara, they better have already picked out their funeral arrangements.

Yoshino would definitely help me hide the body.

"You have my deepest apologies, Mikoto-hime," I bowed lowly as I delivered the news that the cakes had been smeared on the pavement on my way over.

The woman was very forgiving, reassuring me that it wasn't my fault, but I still felt horrendously guilty.

That and some of the women were tittering about the irresponsibility of children in the next room. Tch.

So, I left completely bummed out. It was even worse when I had to walk past the mess of tiramisu on my way.

Not particularly wanting to go home and mope, I made my way to Kaa-san's favourite dress shop. Two hours of browsing and I felt considerably more chill. I meandered a few more shops, picking up a few things for dinner and a cute door knocker shaped like a Lucky Cat, when a random shinobi called out to me on the street.

"Excuse me, civilian-san." The man was average height with salt and pepper hair (and a huge scar that bisected his mouth and continued under his collar) and looked pretty okay. As in, not about to kill or arrest me.

I was far more interested in the kid his was pulling along behind him by his collar.

That ponytail was disgustingly familiar and I glared furiously at my assaulter from earlier.

"You!" It was a touch dramatic but I thought the pointed finger really conveyed my sentiments perfectly.

The boy blushed scarlet in embarrassment when my shout drew the attention of those around us. Didn't stop the lil prick glaring right back, though.

"I take it you are the girl he knocked over this morning?" the ninja, still unidentified, cocked an eyebrow before continuing. "Well, Umino-"

What

-"-san was running away from the scene of a paint bomb prank he had set up, which resulted in the damage of public property at the Academy. Whilst fleeing the scene of his crime, he caused harm to your person and was later caught. He has been appropriately reprimanded by his teachers and now, he is here to apologise for the harm done to you, civilian-san."

I didn't want to deal with this.

I just wanted Older!Iruka, the cute and responsible cinnamon roll teacher. Not the younger prankster brat!

"Dazai Kiharu," I absentmindedly introduced myself. "and he knocked my tiramisu from my hands, which was an important delivery for Mikoto-hime's tea party."

The ninja, who identified himself as Kunikida-sensei, blinked at me in surprise, eyes wide. "You're the one who makes Teuchi-san's cakes?"

Aww, I'm recognised!

"Hai!" I nod and Kunikida's mouth tugged into a brief smile before he became stern once more. Turning to his charge, who was still scarlet and staring somewhere near my shoes, he pushed the boy closer, moving to stand behind him with his hands on his student's shoulders.

"Ah-I'm very sorry, Dazai-san." He sounded like the most interesting combination of apologetic and grumpy. I was, of course, sobbing internally at the state precious Iruka was in. He must be protected, my inner fangirl chanted, even when he's smol and angry.

Fuck this life, okay?

"Okay, Umino-san," I tried to be mature for once. "You have to carry all my ingredients to make new tiramisu, though." Nope, didn't work.

The future-academy teacher gaped at me, probably not expecting me to enlist him as a donkey. Unfortunately for the orphan, his teacher seemed to think it was a splendid idea – "It is only fair, Umino-san," – and, after accepting my offer of a free dessert from Teuchi as thanks for sorting everything out, the middle-aged Chuunin waved the two of us off.

I'd not actually planned to go ingredient shopping today but oh well!

Three hours later and safely back at my own house, I wanted to wrangle the brats neck.

He was so annoying! Yeah, he was a wonderful person…when he was older. As a kid? I wanted to kill him. I'd thought the shopping trip would prove to be a good opportunity to improve my opinion of him, a second chance, and also punishment for earlier.

It was torture for us both.

He was like the kid in the Wave Arc, all "woe is me" and "I'm so tragic". Everyone in the village had lost something important to them but Iruka was all but self-sabotaging himself over the death of his parents. I knew that it wasn't the same, I still had a family and everything, but I was a bit angry at him too. Acting out was never gonna do him any favours and I couldn't live with myself if Iruka ruined things for himself in the heat of the moment. I wondered if the Sandaime had spoken to him yet, like in the anime, and hoped he hadn't; If this was Iruka after Sarutobi reached out to him, I couldn't image the handful he'd been beforehand.

I still kinda wanted to help him but…well, I'd already known that no character was perfect etc. but, Iruka had been so adorable I'd clean forgotten what he'd been like as a child.

The answer? A demon. (The joke…bit too close to home? Oops)

The entire time had been spent with me throwing bags at him as I tried to instigate a conversation, in-between haggling and chatting with all my favourite shopkeepers. The boy just stood there though, a deep flush on his face. I was pretty nice to him, not rude or snide or anything, but he was obviously uncomfortable none the less. It could have turned into a nice trip but it just ended up being an absolute drag. Even if Iruka had apologised, towards the end I'd wondered if he actually meant it.

I was almost tempted to visit him with cakes at the orphanage but…I wasn't good at making friends and was worried I'd be imposing. Like some blundering child who ends up insulting everyone and looking like I'm rubbing my own situation in their faces.

When you're low, there's nothing worse than pity, after all.

But for a kid who felt like they had nothing? Maybe a hand in the dark could make all the difference.

…..

The next morning, I woke up to snowfall and a head cold.

Fantastic.

…

A/N- Yo! Bit of a speedy update, I know. Lots of talk about pairings after the last chapter and I'd just like reiterate that the poll is early for a reason! I'm writing ahead of the chapter's posted and I need to know everyone's thoughts, like, now. So, no panicking over super early romance. Also, Kiharu may have a 20yr-old past life stuck in her head but she feels the emotions of her physical body! She's not gonna be a cougar or feel bad about 'age differences'. When she swears or makes 'adult-y' comments, that's because she knows how to and what they mean. It's part of her personality! So, yeah, she ain't no perv, alright? Okay, rant over haha.

Also, people seem to be a bit stumped for pairing options. All I gotta say is: ? Guys, like, pick anyone you want and, so long as I don't hate it, I'm pretty sure I could get it to work. I don't know about you, but I'm constantly drowning in rare pair hell so. As long as it's popular enough as well. Also, about the age gap? When you hit 20 (no underage romances here, folks), it matters less and less. Also, ninja kinda live in the present. Some ideas I posted on AO3:

- Civilians anyone?

- Shisui; similar age, also it's Shisui. Nuff said

- Itachi; dessert power couple, similar ages, driving Sasuke insane

- Kotetsu; bff from kids, ninja angst, similar ages

- Izumo; bff from kids, softer than 'Tetsu but still ninja angst, similar ages (imagine with all three ^ of them together? Aww)

- Yamato; hurt/comfort hair braiding sweetness (the Fanart possibilities, people), only 5yr age gap

- Kakashi; 6/7yr diff, cat vs dog tension, troll competitions etc.

- Iruka; cinnamon roll heaven, adopt Naruto lol, few years older

- Gai; omfg can you imagine the reign of terror? Hitoshi would kill her and imagine everyone's reactions haha

- Kiharu/Kurenai/Anko; spicy triad (came up with on the top of my head) and a reign of sexy unattainable women lol it would be fricking hilarious

- ? I don't know, you tell me?

Thanks for the amazing support, this last chapter got an insane response and I'm frickin' blushing. Thanks everyone! x

P.S- someone asked if losing a parent wasn't a bit of a cliché but, in a ninja world, the chances of both parents surviving is even rarer and the plot twist of being orphaned is even more overused lol

P.P.S- I was asked where I was travelling and my answer? Stockholm was incredible and shout-out to any of you reading this in Sweden! Are you guys travelling anywhere over the holiday? Where about are you guys reading this from? I know I've got a heck of a lot of US views…(hi!)