Welcome to 2021, folks! I hope you all had a wonderful non-denominational holiday season. I have the slightest of apologies, because last time I promised this chapter would be out relatively soon, because I already had a good chunk of it written. However, I ended up adding quite a bit more to it than I originally planned, which I think makes it much better quality than I originally planned for. This chapter is very dialogue heavy, along with a nice dose of internal introspection, intricate explanations of original Thanagarian Lore and that sweet, sweet angst, with a little sprinkling of fluff at the end.
But don't worry, it's not all bad for our baby bird. Fortunately she's got some responsible adults looking out for her.
"Are you certain you want to do this?" Shayera Hol's green eyes flickered as she searched her daughter's face for any sign of doubt. "No one would blame you for wanting to wait."
"I would blame me." Her answer was easy, though Ski'Lira still found herself unable to meet her mother's gaze. "I just... I need to see them for myself. Make sure that I didn't..."
Letting out a long sigh, her mother pulled her into the gentlest of hugs, careful not to aggravate her injuries. "If you're sure, I won't stop you. Just... be careful."
"I have been quite thoroughly instructed not to do anything that could worsen my physical condition."
The smile she received in response was wry. "There are other ways you can still get hurt. Promise me that if it becomes too much, you'll leave."
"But I'm the one that's going to do the apologizing for what I did to them."
"Yes, but none of them are my daughter. Promise me, Ski'Lira."
"But I-"
"No." Removing her hands from her shoulders, Shayera's well-calloused hands moved to frame Ski'Lira's face, forcing her to meet her emerald gaze. "I will not allow you to disparage yourself this way, nor will I tolerate you taking all of the blame for this. As I, and your father, and other members of the League have said, this was not your fault. So promise me you will come home if you need to."
"... I promise."
"Good."
H
MOUNT JUSTICE
OCTOBER 23RD, 2010
17:21 EDT
The relatively short walk from the Zeta tube to the kitchen felt like the longest journey Ski'Lira had made in her sixteen years of life. Of course, the near-constant ache of her muscles, broken bones, and a few stitched lacerations on her arms added an extra level of difficulty. But the ever-present burn of pain was more reassuring than anything else, as it was a familiar feeling to a vigilante like her.
The first thing she recognized was the dead quiet. Usually by now, her sensitive hearing would be able to pick up snatches of chatter, or a low hum from the television or a radio. But there was nothing, only the steady beating of multiple hearts. There was a distinct scent in the air that could only mean M'Gann was baking, an expected occurrence since it was one of her primary methods of dealing with stress.
Stress she had contributed greatly to.
Ski'Lira ended up stopping in the doorway, not quite willing to break the fragile silence yet. The first person she made eye contact with was Martian Manhunter, who gave her the slightest of head nods, acknowledging her presence non-verbally (which she appreciated). Naturally, that was immediately shattered as that small motion was noticed by Captain Marvel.
"Hawkgirl, oh my gosh!" His eyes shot open wide as he practically ran to stand in front of her, hovering awkwardly. "You look terrible! I mean... Um... Not terrible terrible, like... injured terrible! Do you need to sit down?"
"I'm fine." The wince she earned at the sound of her raspy and scream-torn voice was not as subtle as he'd probably been hoping. She found herself inwardly relieved to note that the arm she'd clawed open seemed to have mended, not a single rend in his suit in sight.
Eyes flickering between her and the rest of the Team, who were all either watching the exchange silently or ignoring her outright, he took a few steps back. "Right... Right... Sure... I'll just be... over here, if you need anything."
Taking a deep breath, Ski'Lira maintained her neutral expression (which was a much easier feat when the entire upper half of your face was covered in cloth) and made her way completely in the room. She didn't miss the sudden tension in Kaldur and Conner's shoulders, nor the way M'Gann stopped mid-stir, or the clenching of Wally's fists. Both Robin and Artemis remained motionless, but it was clear they were primed to act at a moment's notice, like predators lying in wait.
Her lungs briefly seized in her chest, but she forced herself to keep going, though she maintained her distance. "M'Gann" She began. "I came here to apologize for... I... Are you okay?"
"Are you seriously asking if she's okay?!" It was Artemis who broke first, unsurprising considering she was the one on the Team who tended to speak her mind most often (and loudly, at that). "You tried to strangle her!"
"I'm not denying that, I'm just. I wasn't... I didn't mean to..." Ski'Lira took a step forward towards the Martian.
M'Gann's flinch froze the Thanagarian in her tracks.
In a blur of movement, Conner had placed himself between her and his girlfriend, staring at her with an expression she'd only seen once... When they first met at CADMUS and he was trying to test if he really did have laser vision.
She had no doubt that if he did possess the ability, she'd be dodging twin beams of unforgiving red light right about now.
"An apology isn't going to cut it. Not this time." The half-Kryptonian's tone was low. "What happened to 'not taking your anger out on the Team', huh? Or does that only apply to me?"
It was Ski'Lira's turn to take a step back, eyes dropping to the floor.
At any other time, she had no doubt that one of the currently present members of the League would intervene, but as it was, they had been sworn to non-interference, even though they knew the truth of the matter.
This was Hawkgirl's mess to fix, not theirs.
"Look," she began, raising her voice as loud as she could manage without harming her throat further. "I came here to give M'Gann my apology, do with it what you will, but you have no idea what you speak of."
"I think we do have a pretty good idea." Wally finally stood up, usually jovial face twisted into an expression of anger and distaste. "M'Gann screwed up, okay? We know that, and we don't blame her for it! You had no right to do what you did, no matter how you felt about it!"
"That is not-"
"When will you get it through your thick, bird-brained skull?!" He interrupted her harshly. "We're not on Thanagar! Here on Earth we don't try to kill our friends for making a mistake!"
Clenching her jaw, Ski'Lira scrambled to find something, anything to say in her own defense... but they wouldn't come. Instead, she turned around and left the room as swiftly as her bruised body would allow her.
H
Her feet carried her unconsciously towards the training room. So often had she retreated there to work off some aggression in a healthy manner, that she found herself standing in front of a punching bag. It was only a last second reminder (courtesy of a flash of white gauze) that she recalled, 'oh yes, my fingers on that hand are broken' and stopped herself mere seconds from mangling that hand further. Retreating away from the bag, she stalked around a little before sitting down heavily on a wooden bench, nearly every muscle protesting the harsh movement.
That had... not gone well. How was it that Ski'Lira could string together words in the heat of battle to form an insult so harsh it could stop a man in his tracks, but when she had to explain her personal feelings to her friends... it all came out wrong.
This was just like Roy all over again. She hadn't been able to say what she really meant then either.
The sharp heat of her temper left her, shoulders physically sagging at the change in mood. Perhaps she had been putting too many assumptions on them. She had thought for sure that they knew her well enough to just... know that she wouldn't ever willingly do something like that.
But apparently she was wrong.
Okay, she could do this. She just had to think through exactly what she wanted to say, and... say it. If she had a solid script going in this time instead of improvising...
As she was musing over that thought, the telltale scent of sea water hit her senses, and she jerked her head up to see Kaldur standing a few feet away. His face was morphed into an expression of concern, but she wasn't buying it for a second.
"No need to look at me like that." She muttered. "I know you're mad at me too, so you don't need to pretend."
"I am allowed to feel multiple emotions at once. I am angry at you, yes, but a part of me is also concerned for your well-being." He cautiously sat down on the bench, leaving a good few feet of distance between them. "I have never seen you so openly injured."
"Yeah, well..." Her broken fingers flexed slightly. She had no memory of it, but apparently she had tried to punch her way through one of Hal's constructs. "So, are you here to lecture me?"
"I do not think you would take it well, if I tried to do so."
"Probably not."
"As it is, I believe..." Pausing for a moment, he scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Perhaps this... confrontation, was too soon."
"Oh don't you start too." She snapped. "I got enough of that from my mother. Shouldn't I be able to decide for myself when I want to apologize?"
"It has very little to do with you, rather than the others... myself included." He stood up then, wearing a severe frown. "Did you not think that we would not be ready to see you?"
"But I needed to come!" Ski'Lira insisted, standing up quickly so she could meet him head on, rather than being forced to look up at him.
"I will be honest with you, because you deserve at least that much. I am not ready to forgive you for what you have done, nor does the rest of the Team."
"I'm not asking you to forgive me!" She shouted, her voice cracking halfway through and reminding her why raising her voice was a bad idea. A short coughing jag wracked her frame, but the moment it was done, she kept going. "But I am... I am not going to sit idly by and allow you all to insult me for something you know nothing about!"
"Perhaps this is a discussion that should wait until you have... cooled down, as it were. Your temper has already risked the life of a fellow teammate, a friend, once."
His sharp reprimand felt more like he'd actually punched her in the chest. That would have been preferable, really, to his complete and utter disappointment in her. If not even Kaldur could see that she didn't want this to happen...
Maybe they weren't as good of friends as she thought they were, her and her kast. Maybe they weren't a kast at all and it had all been just... wishful thinking on her part.
She was struck with a moment of clarity, mostly thanks to an echo in the back of her head of the promise she made to her da'mi before she left. "You're right."
He cocked an eyebrow at her in question, silently urging her to continue.
"Maybe it would be better for everyone if I left, put myself on suspension."
Pursing his lips, he tilted his head ever so slightly to the side. "If that is what you think is best."
"No, it's not." What she thought was best didn't matter anymore. "I was a fool for thinking that anything I could say could possibly change your minds after what I did. I'm... I'm going home."
"Hawkgirl..." He attempted to grab her arm as she walked past, but she shook him off. She had no interest in hearing any useless platitudes, or the inevitable assurances that 'maybe things could get better if you gave us time'.
It was ridiculous. Her mother was wrong, about all of it. This was her fault, so she had to take responsibility by taking herself out of the equation.
It wasn't until she was standing in front of the Zeta Tube, ready to go home to St. Roch, that she realized she was crying. Her flight home was interrupted suddenly as the Zeta whirred to life.
"Recognized: Batman, 02"
Stepping out of the way, she gave the Dark Knight plenty of room to walk past her, no doubt on his way to check on the rest of the Team. But instead, he waited. She looked at him, slightly uneasy.
"Did you have the chance to talk to them?"
The grin she shot at him had no humor in it. "I wasn't really given much of a chance. You know, it's good I ran into you, saves Aqualad from having to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"I'm suspending myself from the Team. Maybe permanently."
From the lack of immediate response, Batman seemed to be at a small loss for words. "Are you certain?"
"I think it's best for everyone involved if I just... stay away for a while."
"Hawkgirl..." He began. "What happened was not your fault."
"You know, no matter how many times you, or my parents, or the other Leaguers say it... It doesn't make me feel any more inclined to believe it."
He just looked at her for a few moments, before giving her the slightest of nods. "Your temporary suspension is noted, you will be contacted only in case of emergency."
"Seems fair."
"And one more thing." She stopped mid-step, turning back to face him. "Tell your parents to expect a call from me."
Giving him an acknowledging nod, she stepped into the Zeta, more than ready to be whisked away to St. Roch.
H
Unconsciously wrapping her jacket a little more around her body, Ski'Lira reached out and pressed the intercom button perched on one of the stone columns contributing to the wrought iron gate that loomed above her, shifting a little in place. A gust of wind tugged at her ponytail, dislodging a few chunks of brown hair and making her look even more bedraggled. Just as she was about to consider pressing the button again (or leaving entirely), the intercom suddenly crackled into life.
"Please identify yourself and state your reason for being here." The voice on the other end was, in two words, quintessentially British.
"My name is Skylar Hall." She answered. "I'm… here to see Dick Grayson?"
There was no reply for a good thirty seconds until there was a clanging noise as the metal gate unlatched and swung open of its own accord.
"Thank you" She said to the unseen voice before starting her trek forward. On any other day, she probably would have just flown straight to the front door and dealt with the consequences later.
But not today.
As she trudged forwards up the long and winding driveway, she couldn't help but appreciate the beautiful picture that Wayne Manor made looming on the hill in the moonlight, windows glowing softly from the lights within.
When she made it to the front door, it cracked open, revealing an older, distinguished looking man wearing a perfectly tailored black suit. From description alone, she assumed this was Alfred Pennyworth, whose praises Dick had sung on multiple occasions. "Ms. Hall, Master Bruce was expecting your arrival, though I believe Master Richard was... not."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Her shoulders drooped as the butler stepped aside, allowing her entrance inside. When Batman had told her earlier he was going to call her parents, the last thing she had expected was this turn of events. Namely, a direct invitation to Wayne Manor for the evening, one that she was instructed firmly not to ignore.
"They are in the dining room at the moment, finishing up their evening meal. This way, if you please."
On any other day, she would have taken time to admire the old paintings lining the walls, the no-doubt expensive vases, the taxidermied heads of animals hunted long ago, not to mention the suits of medieval armor she caught glimpses of every so often. But instead, she kept her eyes glued to the kind butler's back as he led her deeper into the mansion. The scent of warm food, definitely some kind of meat and a vegetable she couldn't quite place swamped her nose, forcing an audible growl from her stomach that she hoped wasn't overheard.
"Who was at the door, Alfie?" The question was scarcely out of Dick's mouth before he froze, expression of shock immediately turning into a frown. "What is she doing here?"
"At the moment, she is a guest." Alfred answered easily, giving Bruce a meaningful tilt of his head before turning to the young brunette. "Miss Hall, if you would like, I can fix you up a plate?"
"I uh... Thanks for the offer, as much as I'd like to, I can't." She apologized. "I'm on a strict diet until... further notice, I guess."
"Dick, a word?" Standing up from the table, Bruce gave his ward a pointed look before striding out of the room. Letting out a huff, Dick shot Ski'Lira one last glare before following without any further protest.
That left the Thanagarian awkwardly standing in the dining room, unsure what to do with herself.
"Pardon, Miss Hall, but is there anything I can provide? Some water, perhaps?"
"That... That would be nice of you, Mr. Pennyworth."
Giving her a slight nod, he disappeared through a nearby door, only to reemerge less than a minute later with an unopened plastic bottle of water.
"Thank you, Mr. Pennyworth." Taking the bottle in hand, she unscrewed the cap and took a small sip. The cold liquid soothed her ravaged throat, which was something of a relief.
"Perhaps you would like to take a seat?" Alfred offered kindly, clearly trying to assuage some of her nervousness, going so far as to pull the chair away from the table for her.
After a brief moment of internal debate, she took the offered seat, toying with the sticker label on her water bottle. Or at least, as well as she could, considering half her fingers were broken. To her surprise, the old butler stayed with her.
"I know it is not under the... most ideal of circumstances, but it is still a pleasure to have you visit the manor, Miss Hall."
Giving a slight hum of agreement, she pulled a good third of the sticker off before smoothing it back onto the bottle. "It's nice. The... manor, not the... situation. I'd like to hear more about it's history sometime, if... that's okay."
"It would be an honor to do so. Not many express interest in the manor itself, rather the occupants within."
"Well, I've always been better at understanding things than people... Mostly weapons..."
"We all have our strengths and weaknesses, Miss Hall. And you've used your skills to great effect, I would say. But there is more to you, I believe. If I remember correctly from a conversation with Master Bruce, you work with your parents at the museum, do you not?"
"Yeah... I help with inventory a lot, and... sometimes I help with the easier restoration projects."
Settling down in the chair next to her, he gave her a polite smile. "That sounds fascinating. Have you worked on anything recently?"
Narrowing her blue eyes behind her trademark aviators, she examined him quietly for a moment. "I see what you're doing."
"Begging your pardon, Miss Hall, but I don't understand." There was a glint in his eyes that immediately betrayed the fact he knew full well exactly what he was doing (and had no remorse about it).
"You're keeping me calm so I don't bolt while Bat-, Bruce," she corrected swiftly, it was still so weird having full encouragement to call the Dark Knight by his real first name. "Tries to convince Dick to talk to me."
"You are quite astute, Miss Hall. Tell me, is it working?"
"... Yes."
"Very good. As it is, I am very interested to hear of your restoration projects. Anything interesting of late?"
To be honest, not really. Most of her 'restoration' jobs were primarily doing cursory dusting and cleanings of some of the... sturdier artifacts, in the Stonechat Museum's possession. "I helped reassemble a mosaic, replacing the tesserae by hand. It was tedious, but it was... satisfying."
"It must have taken some time."
"About a week or two."
It was while she was showing him a picture of the finished product (taken just before it was brought upstairs to be placed on display), that Bruce and Dick made their return.
Clearing his throat, Bruce gave his ward a final look. "Why don't you two head upstairs to Dick's room? I think you two have a lot to talk about."
Giving Alfred a quiet 'thanks' for keeping her company, Ski'Lira followed the dead silent Boy Wonder up the stairs to his room. The moment the door was closed behind them, Dick pointed wordlessly to the bed, where she sat down gingerly.
He moved to stand in front of her, meaning they were at eye level. "Talk." His tone left no room for protests or delay, arms crossed and crystal blue eyes hard with sincerity.
Opening her mouth, Ski'Lira closed it a moment later, thoughtful. "I... don't know where to start?"
"How about with why you tried to kill M'Gann?!"
"It... wasn't a conscious choice, on my part." Staring down at her hands, she realized she was still holding onto her water. It turned out to be a positive turn of events, as without it, she might have started picking on the bandages on her fingers or arms. "I didn't choose to attack her, it was... I was angry? At her? And I... Sort of lost myself."
The answering scoff of disgust at that paltry answer made her wince. "So you're saying you what, went all berserker on us? Because she did something that upset you?!"
"Sort of...?" That did nothing to assuage his steadily growing irritation.
He started to pace in front of her, hands going up to his hair and tugging on the strands. "B told me I needed to hear you out, but you're making it really difficult."
"I'm trying!" She insisted. "This... It's not easy to explain to... To a Terran. Let alone in your language."
That harsh reminder that Skylar was very much not human seemed to knock something loose in his mental process, at least enough that he stopped pacing. "Try to explain."
"Okay, okay, just... give me a minute." For a solid two minutes, the pair remained in an uneasy silence as the brunette tried to think of a logical way to explain all of this, in a way that a human could understand it. An idea came abruptly, and she hoped that it would work as intended. "When a human is threatened with bodily harm, what happens? Anatomically, I mean."
"What are you-?"
She cut him off quickly. "Humor me. Please."
Pursing his lips, he gave her the answer she was looking for (or rather, leading him towards). "The sympathetic nervous system activates, releasing cortisol and adrenaline, pushing the body into fight or flight mode. And that's just the basics."
"Now imagine a species that exists in a near constant state of high battle awareness, like Thanagarians. Engaging in active combat, where bodily harm is threatened near continuously over an extended period of time. What do you think would happen?"
"I'm guessing... some kind of evolutionary response?" At her encouraging nod, he kept going. "You're in danger so often, it became a... standard state of normalcy. So maybe some kind of... permanent hormonal adjustment?"
"Exactly. No need for an adrenaline rush when you're used to functioning through that kind of stress without it, not to mention there's no crash afterwards to make you vulnerable."
The prospect of a biological mystery was apparently enough to fade some of Dick's ire, as he had a new puzzle to figure out. "Okay, I think I'm following. You're basically saying Thanagarians don't have the same panic responses humans do because it evolved past the point where we are. So... that means only really bad stuff, like say, being stuck in an enclosed space when your species is genetically predisposed to claustrophobia would trigger a panic attack, but being shot wouldn't."
Relieved he was starting to understand (at least partly), Ski'Lira nodded again and she let out a short sigh. "That's... the basics, yes. Now the complicated part... I need you to remember something I told you and the rest of the Team before. When I said Thangarians are specifically evolved for war? Bodies and minds alike."
Judging by the spark in his eyes, he recalled. "You told us that when we went after the androids with Zatanna."
"Good, you do remember." Ski'Lira took a moment to steel herself, because this was where it got... tricky, to say the least. "When a Thanagarian is put into an extreme situation where it is... very clear that they most likely aren't going to survive, sometimes it triggers an... extreme reaction. The individual is pushed to their absolute physical limits, while the brain regresses fully into instinct. Basically, it's a last ditch attempt to either preserve their own life, protect their kast, or take down as many enemies as possible before they go down."
Mouth slightly agape, Dick's voice sounded far less vitriolic than it had been during the course of the conversation so far. "And... that's what happened to you... Wait, but that doesn't explain why you would attack M'Gann, you've said before we're all part of your... kast."
"Believe me, it wasn't a conscious decision. J'onn said that because my mind was... connected to hers before I... you know, it sort of... tagged her as a threat along with the fake aliens since she was literally killing us, our real selves. So when I came out of the simulation, the only enemy I could see was... her."
Dick went very quiet, eyes locked on the wall behind her and fingers worrying at the edges of his shirt sleeves.
Taking the opportunity his silence gave her, she barrelled forward with her long winded explanation. "We call it the Movr Sifastarr, the "Last Fury" in English, or at least the closest possible translation. Every Thanagarian has about a ten percent chance of succumbing to it once they reach adulthood. The percentage of those that reach it before final maturation, teenagers, is... significantly lower.
"A statistical anomaly." He was starting to sound distinctly off, still not looking at her.
Leaning back carefully on her hands, she lounged a little further on the bed, tilting her head up towards the ceiling. "Thankfully it's impossible to achieve before the first molting, so that's at least one thing my people never have to-"
"You really don't think this is something we should have been told earlier?!" Robin's sudden angry exclamation drew her attention back to him as he resumed his pacing.
Ah, she had expected this question (or at least, she expected it in the case she actually made it this far, which she did not think would happen in the first place). "It's... sort of taboo, to speak with non-Thanagarians about it. If an enemy learned about it and figured out how to trigger it manually, it could mean the end of my people. All Thanagarian children are told about the Last Fury shortly after first molt, so they can be prepared in the rare case it happens to them, or the more common case of seeing it happen to another adult... Since I've declared you my kast, technically you're excluded from that. My parents were able to tell the League for that same reason. Except for the Green Lanterns, but that's because they pretty much know everything."
"So you could have told us, but you didn't."
"I did almost tell all of you, but well, you were all pretty upset already and I didn't want to add to it. Especially since Zatanna was with us, and she was an unknown. It was while we were talking about sacrifices, and how I... would be happy to die in battle." That last part brought a frown to her face.
Robin let out a long sigh, sounding more like a steadily deflating balloon than a person. "... Yeah, I can't see that having gone over too well right then either. Okay... Okay, this is... definitely about as far from whelmed as you can get. Be honest with me, could this happen again?
"No." She answered vehemently, knowing it to be true. "There have only been two recorded instances of an individual suffering two Movr Sifastarr in the entirety of our species' history. And both were well-documented genetic anomalies. This won't happen to me again."
"I guess the name Last Fury makes sense knowing it can only happen once, but that seems a little... I mean, it's horrible, but it seems like your people would be all for multiple battle rages."
Her face gave the most minute of twitches, and she internally cursed herself for failing at maintaining a poker face now of all times. "What? What was that?" Robin demanded. "... You're leaving something out, aren't you?"
Tilting her head back towards the ceiling, she gave him the rest of the miniature lecture. "I'll be blunt with you, there's a thirty percent chance that someone under the Movr Sifastarr gets locked in that state permanently. It is Thanagarian Law that they are... executed. For the safety of others, and for their own honor. The longer a rage lasts, the less they begin to differentiate between friend and foe, until they see everyone as an enemy. During times of peace, they are killed as painlessly and quickly as they can, while on the battlefield they are herded towards enemy forces.
Face gone pale and eyes wide with disbelief, Dick took a step towards her, closing the gap between them ever so slightly. "... Please tell me this is one of those times you say worse things than actually happen on Thanagar to mess with me?"
All he received in answer was a wordless shake of her head.
Crossing the space completely, Dick dropped down heavily to sit down next to her on the bed, the only point of contact the minute brushing of their shoulders. "... You could have died." He let those words hang with a heavy weight, before continuing. "That... doesn't that scare you?"
The sheer amount of honesty and personal connection she was subjecting herself to would probably subsist her for the next decade of her life, at least. But she'd just started getting Dick to see her side, and she wasn't about to lose him now just because she was too proud to start withholding her feelings now, after all she'd revealed already. "My entire life I've been raised waiting for the end. Thanagarians don't die of old age, Dick. We fall. And I... I almost fell for no reason. That's what scares me."
She felt his gaze on her, and turned to face him. "What?"
"It's just..." He had the smallest of wry smiles on his face, clearly trying to fall back on levity (his usual response to stress). "It's just... I've never seen you so, emotional, before."
"I am allowed to be." Ski'Lira pointed out.
"Yeah, but you don't... show it. Except for anger, that you show a lot."
"Thanks," she deadpanned, giving him an unimpressed stare.
To his credit, he immediately grimaced. "Sorry, that was... a little too soon I guess. I just meant..." He ran a hand through his hair again, turning it into even more of an untameable bird nest (which she had not thought was possible before now). "After we lost Nelson, and during the simulation when we thought everyone was dead, you've always been so... stoic. The closest you've gotten was after the androids attacked the mountain, but even after you literally passed out from fear you were... You were still so calm and strong."
All she could offer him was an indifferent shrug. "Well, I don't really feel like being strong right now."
"That doesn't sound very Thanagarian of you." His smile broadened into a genuine thing, making her think that maybe she hadn't irreparably broken her friendship with him after all. "But that's okay, if you don't feel like it. I, um... This is a lot to process. I... think I need a few minutes to... think this all over."
She jerked her thumb towards the closed door of the room. "Do you want me to leave?" If he really wanted her to, she had a few stories from the museum she could share with Alfred, or she could just go home. The latter was sounding pretty nice.
"No, you don't have to leave." Dick insisted, to her slight surprise. "Just... I'm just gonna be quiet for a little bit."
Giving him a wordless nod, she dug her phone out of her pocket, unlocking it so she could answer a message from her father.
Ta'me: How's it going?
Sky: ... better than I expected
Sky: I think he understands
Sky: Alfred is really nice
Ta'me: Alfred is the best, no arguments there. Think you'll be heading home soon?
Sky: I don't know. We're not done talking yet.
Ta'me: Shoot me a message when you're headed back so I can pick you up from the Zeta point
Ta'me: do not try to fly home yourself
Sky: I won't
Ta'me: Damn straight you won't. Love you, fledgeling
Sky: Love you too
After that, Dick still seemed to be locked into his thoughts, so she pulled up an eBook of The Fellowship of the Ring and picked up where she left off last. Recalling her water, she picked it up from where she'd dropped it onto the bed beside her at some point, draining the rest of the bottle in one go and getting up briefly to set the empty receptacle on the desk to be recycled later. Once she sat back down to resume her reading, Dick shuffled over ever so slightly so that his shoulder was fully pressed against hers, a grounding point of contact that they both needed.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed before he finally spoke up, clearing his throat. "I feel like a bit of a, well... a dick for not asking earlier, but are you... you know, okay? Physically, I mean. Because obviously mentally..."
Shutting off her phone's screen and returning it to its designated pocket in her jacket, she answered him. "My injuries will heal. Most of them are relatively minor."
"I'd say it's pretty major. Usually by now you'd look fine." He reminded her. "How'd they happen, anyway? You seemed to be fighting against the League pretty hard when you were taken away from the Cave."
"Broken fingers are from trying to punch through Hal's constructs." She held up said hand for emphasis. "Bruises here and there from fighting back. The lacerations on my arms were from attempts to stick me with a needle for sedation purposes that went... poorly."
Dick looked a bit physically sickened at the thought.
"Minor scratches." She assured him, and it was true, never once did her razor sharp gauntlets come close to hitting anything vital, through sheer luck more than anything else. "The only reason they're healing slowly is because my body's natural healing rate is... delayed, for the time being."
"So you're suffering from... side effects?
She started ticking off items using the fingers on her good hand. "Slowed healing, muscle pain and fatigue, general fatigue, and my internal systems are so screwed up right now I'm on a strict diet of water and unseasoned meat until I stabilize. Oh, and I have minor memory loss." Seeing his incoming panic, she hastily explained before he could go into a fully fledged rant (again). "Before you ask, the entirety of our... training exercise, as well as attacking M'Gann and the League. There's just a big blank spot between assuring Wally not to panic about a test and waking up in a hospital bed."
"And are any of them... permanent?" He asked, sounding almost afraid to hear the answer. "You know, because you said that this is kind of a... Thanagarian anatomy Hail Mary."
"Only the missing memory. There was a chance I would remember it all, but... no dice. My father says it is a blessing, considering the circumstances."
"Not gonna lie, it was pretty traumatic. I agree with your dad." The slightly wounded noise he made caused her protective instincts to flare. With a moment of clarity, she was reminded once again (not that she'd forgotten) that the entire Team had gone through one hell of an ordeal. They'd addressed Ski'Lira's issues thoroughly enough at this point that it was far past time to talk to the younger teen about some of his.
Though she had no memory of it, J'onn had given her a brief overview of the events of the simulation, which meant she had a pretty good inkling about what Robin was struggling with internally at the moment.
Being in command was a burden that could cause a great amount of harm, especially for the unprepared.
Nudging her shoulder a little harder into his, she forcibly acquired his attention. "... Are you okay? I know you all talked to Black Canary today about..."
Shoulders rising up to his ears, Dick flushed a little. "I don't really want to talk about it. Not... not yet, at least. I'm emotionally drained enough trying to wrap my head around all of... yeah."
She could understand that, and dropped the subject. "Very well. I... hope that you will talk to me about it." A thought struck her, maybe he was lying because he didn't want to talk to her specifically. She'd assumed that they were okay now, but maybe they weren't. Instead of speculating, she opted instead to be straightforward. "Dick, you... are you still... mad at me?"
Giving a loud sniff, his shoulders dropped. "... No, I'm not. I don't think I could bring myself to. And once we explain, I'm sure the others-" A grimace on her part made him stop. "What, what was with the face?"
"No offense, but there's no we about this, Dick. This is a problem I have to handle on my own. It won't get fixed, truly fixed if... if you're doing half of the work for me."
He blinked at her like her hair had just turned neon pink. "... That's dumb. You're dumb. I'm not just going to sit by and let them think that you-"
"I have the same deal with the League." It seemed they were destined to keep interrupting each other today, but it got him to shut up. "In the ideal situation, my apology earlier would have been taken at face value, and I'd never have to explain the Movr Sifastarr to any of you. I didn't want M'Gann to know..."
"That she almost killed you twice over?"
Ski'Lira's jaw clenched. "Yes. That. I don't blame her for it, since it was truly an accident, but I know she won't see it that way, considering how at fault she feels already. Since this is not the ideal scenario, this has become a matter of trust, which you are well aware, is incredibly important when you're potentially putting your life in a teammate's hands. I have to earn the trust back myself, because only then will it be genuine."
She couldn't help but roll her eyes at herself. "How is it so easy now to find the words I want to say? Where was this ability earlier?"
"Hey, you were panicking, it's understandable." He gave her forearm a commiserating pat, careful to avoid the bandaged wounds."For the record, I still think it's a dumb decision, but... I'll support you in this. Just say the word and I'll back you up, other than that, I'll stay quiet."
"Thank you, Dick... You're... you're a very good friend. Better than I deserve."
That earned her a trademark snort as he abruptly rolled forwards, sliding into an easy handstand and gracefully flipping to his feet. "Being friends isn't about deserving anything, you dummy. You think you can get rid of my so easily?"
"Not until now, I didn't."
"Well, that's your mistake. You're stuck with me, so get used to it." Stretching his arms above his head, he let out another sigh, though this one felt more... at ease. "I don't know about you but I think I've had enough serious conversation one day... Wanna go see the animatronic T-Rex in the Batcave?"
"... I have never wanted anything more in my life."
Downstairs, Bruce had his phone pressed between his ear and shoulder as he sorted through some paperwork for Wayne Enterprises on the kitchen table. "They've been quiet."
"She said she was doing okay, but..." Carter's worried tone sounded through the line. "It's been a rough few days, I can't help but be concerned she's lying to make me feel better."
"It's a possibility." Bruce admitted. "But I'd have some faith in her. And in Dick."
"Right. I don't mean to imply anything about your protege, you know. He's a good kid."
"They're all good kids." He corrected swiftly as he moved an entire stack of papers. "They've never had to deal with a situation like this before, it's understandable that they don't know how to deal with it properly."
"When did you get so wise when it comes to teenagers?"
"I didn't. Just quoting Dinah."
That earned him a slight chuckle from the male Thanagarian. "Fair enough. Do you think she could-"
"Oh no fair!" Ski'Lira's raspy warble immediately garnered Bruce's full attention. "I'm injured!"
"Sounds like excuses to me!" Dick snapped back, letting out a signature cackle. "Just slide down!"
Getting up from his seat, Bruce made it in time to see Dick goading Skylar from the bottom of the stairs, where he was clearly trying to convince her to slide down the banister. The older teen finally complied, sliding down and just barely managing to catch herself at the bottom.
Dick wasted no time, setting off at a run, his friend following close behind. Spotting their audience, Bruce was surprised to see smiles on both of their faces.
"I'm showing Skylar the Batcave!" The black haired teen threw over his shoulder, clearly not looking for permission.
"Bruce? Bruce, what's going on?" Carter asked insistently, his sensitive hearing no doubt picking up on the commotion. "Did something happen?"
"Just the kids being kids." The smallest of smiles appeared on the Dark Knight's face. "I think they're going to be fine."
PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE VALID AND IMPORTANT!
I shall shout as such from the rooftops if I must!
Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. It was... so much dialogue. I didn't plan on the conversation with Alfred at all, let alone the phone call at the end with Carter and Bruce.
For those of you who might be slightly confused about what exactly went down (I really hope not because I tried super hard to make the explanation dump as coherent as possible), here's an excerpt straight from my notes.
"In the most extreme cases, a berserker (called the Movr Sifastarr, or "Last Fury") state is activated that is highly difficult to snap out of, as it's mostly a last-ditch attempt to a) save the Thanagarian, b) protect their kast, and c) take down as many enemies as possible before they die.
Incurring the state prior to full maturation is rare, but not unheard of. Impossible before first molting.
In modern Thanagarians, there is a 10% chance of a berserker state being incurred during their lifetime. It's kind of like a one bullet in the chamber kind of thing. Multiples are incredibly rare, like 'unique medical marvel' rare.
33.3 percent of the time, berserkers are unable to be awoken and have to be executed, for the safety of themselves and others as the longer they are in this state, the less they will be able to discern friend from foe. During times of peace, they are executed outright, while on the battlefield they are merely herded towards the enemy forces and die in their rage."
So now you have it, the mystery of why Ski'Lira went all rage monster on M'Gann. Hmmmm, I wonder if a certain half-Kryptonian will be able to relate?
But that's still a little ways away. Skylar's going to have to rely on only having one person on her side (or at least, one teen person, because once again, the adults have got her back). Don't worry, Sky's gonna do all she can to try to fix the broken bonds of trust. Can't make every problem get fixed with a single conversation, that would be irresponsible storytelling ; P
As for right now, I hope you're all keeping safe. Next installment of Fight or Flight is the Halloween Special.
By which I mean the episode 'Secrets', which takes place during Halloween. I've been waiting to write this one forever because it has a super special surprise guest!
Till next time!