Author's Note: References to self-harm. Please be safe! You are loved!
LunePrimus, thanks for your review! Your detailed reviews are ~amazing~
Urgwaew, thank you so much! You're a guest so I can't respond in a message so here it is! Oh my goodness, your review had me in tears! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I can't tell you how much your words mean to me. I'm so glad you think highly of my story (and of me!). My depression sure has me in bed most days, but this is a coping mechanism for me and I'm so thankful to see you validate my struggle. Again, thank you for your kind words. You are loved!
As Sirius walked to the Great Hall, he had to make sure he cooled off. He couldn't attack Schoutz in front of the students and he also did not need the ministry after him. He took a deep breath before he turned the corner and plastered on his typical Black smirk.
"Hi, Professor Black!" Students called out.
Sirius waved and flashed smiles at them, working hard to act normal.
When Sirius finally got to the head table, he was relieved to see that Schoutz wasn't there yet. Sirius sat down to the right of Minerva and started to serve himself food.
"Good afternoon, Sirius, How are classes going?" Minerva asked casually.
"Classes are going just fine, but other things aren't." Sirius spat.
Minerva whipped her head towards Sirius.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so harsh," Sirius said, wincing. He'd need to work on that.
Just then, Schoutz walked in a few seats from Sirius. At one point, Sinistra got his attention and his back was to Sirius. Sirius, feeling bold and a bit reckless from his emotions, leaned over and slipped something in his drink.
He sat back down and looked around. No one saw. Well, except Minerva who was shooting daggers at him
"Mister Black, you have a minute to explain." She said with her eyes narrowed.
"Schoutz." Sirius hissed, then took a deep breath. "Harry was in his class today. He passed back essays from Umbridge."
"Oh, dear," Minerva said.
Sirius nodded. "Yeah. On Harry's, it told him not to tell lies."
Minerva's face tightened. She hated that toad.
"It gets worse. Harry was triggered and grabbed some fidgets to use to help."
Minerva nodded, a small smile on her face. She was proud of her little lion for using a positive strategy.
Sirius continued. "Schoutz saw and told him he couldn't have toys in class. Harry tried to explain and then Schoutz accused him of lying. He actually told him he didn't allow toys or lying. Well, as you can imagine, that didn't work out well."
Minerva opened her mouth to reply and then shut it. She was in front of her students and had to watch her mouth.
"That rotten man." She hissed, her Scottish accent strong.
Sirius bit back a smile. He knew that when Minerva's accent came out, it was serious. (or it was Sirius who made it come out. Sirius loved teasing her about that).
"Speaking of which, do you have any free time today?" Sirius asked.
Minerva thought for a moment before responding. "I am rather busy, but I have an hour free in the afternoon. Why do you ask."
Sirius knew he had already told too much, but he couldn't help himself. He hoped Harry was okay with this. "I can't tell you the details. Remus says that we need Harry's permission. But he'll be out of his classes for the rest of the day. We want him to rest. We know we can't take the day off so Remus and I talked about having you or Albus watching Harry if that's okay."
"Oh, absolutely! I'd cancel my classes if you want me to!" Minerva offered.
Sirius smiled. Minerva may be strict but Grandma Min was a real softie.
"I don't think that's necessary, but thank you, Minerva. We'll probably take you up on this afternoon. I don't know if Harry will be sleeping or awake, but it should be easy Of course, should anything dramatic happen, please contact Remus or myself."
"Naturally. However, I may have some experience with children, Mr. Black." Minerva said, doing her best teacher voice and face.
Sirius just gave her a cheeky smile "None at all, my dear Minnie."
Minerva huffed and rolled her eyes. That man caused half of the gray hairs on her head.
Sirius and Minerva kept eating for another ten minutes, having a light conversation. All of a sudden, giggles rang out in the hall and it got quiet. Sirius plastered an innocent look on his face and looked where all the eyes were looking: on Schoutz.
The Defense Professor's hair, skin, and clothes were turning pink.
"Who did this to me? Oink!" Schoutz snorted.
The Great Hall now was rolling with laughter.
"Albus!" Schoutz shouted, looking at the headmaster who was walking into the hall.
"We will look into this very seriously," Albus said to the disgruntled man.
Sirius bit his lip. He knew that Albus choose those words on purpose. He looked at Albus and the old man's blue eyes sparkled, knowing exactly what was going on.
"Minerva! You must be able to do something!" Schoutz cried out, turning to her.
"Let me try," Minerva said, waving her wand dramatically.
Schoutz's skin (except for his face) turned back to his normal color. His nose, unbeknownst to him, changed into a pig's snout.
"Thank you," Schoutz said graciously.
"Of course. With such a serious prank we will get to the bottom of this." Minerva said.
Sirius was sipping his water and was not expecting that out of Minerva. He snorted into his water and choked on what was in his mouth.
"You alright, Black?" Schoutz said, a bit disgusted.
"He's alright," Minerva said, patting her former student on the back. "He just seriously wants this sorted out."
Sirius couldn't help himself now. The formidable transfiguration professor had gone too far. Once he could breathe normally, he put his arms down on the table and put his head in it. This was hilarious.
Schoutz looked at Minerva. bit confused.
"You'll have to excuse him. He never was quite the same after Azkaban." She stage whispered. Sirius had heard this and continued to silent laugh.
Schoutz huffed and turned away, taking large and quick strides out of the Great Hall.
"He's gone," Minerva whispered, taking a sip of the soup she had.
Sirius slowly sat up, his face pink from all the laughing. "Minerva McGonagall, you do have a funny bone in your body!"
"I did survive the Marauders, did I not?" Minerva said, turning her nose up.
Sirius chuckled and shook his head, continuing to eat. Even Ol Minnie can still surprise him. What a world.
When Harry had woken up he took his time in his bedroom before coming out. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Albus Dumbledore sitting on the couch in the sitting room, flipping through a book.
"Professor Dumbledore?" Harry asked.
Albus looked up and smiled at the shocked teen. "Hello, my dear child."
"Wh-what are you doing here? is everyone okay? Am I in trouble?"
"Is there something you should be in trouble for?" Albus asked, his eyebrow raised.
Harry frantically shook his head.
Albus smiled and said, "Everything is alright, Harry. I am here in my grandfather capacity."
"Oh, okay," Harry said, his body relaxing. He took some steps and sat down on the couch next to the elderly wizard. "Why are you here? If you don't mind me asking, Sir." Harry said quickly.
Albus smiled at him and shut his book. "Not at all. Your parents had to attend to their duties. They wanted to talk to you before they left, but they didn't want to wake you. They didn't tell me much, they just wanted me here since you were resting."
Harry nodded slowly, thinking. "Did they tell you anything?"
"Just that you were resting for the rest of the day. They said it was up to you to share."
Harry nodded again, deep in thought. He was glad that Sirius and Remus were giving him the choice to tell people what happened, but he also didn't really want to go through it with anyone.
"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready or would prefer not to. Just know that I am a safe person to talk to." Albus told the teen in front of him sincerely.
Harry nodded and stayed thinking for a moment before looking at his grandfather and said, "Okay, I'll tell you some of it. Moony Da and Dadfoot already know so you don't have to be all worried about that."
Albus smiled at him encouragingly.
"So Professor Schoutz passed back essays today in class from Umbridge," Harry began. He went through the story of getting the essay, using the fidget, and Schoutz catching him. Harry told him that he tried to explain to Schoutz what they were and that Remus had given them to him, but was accused of lying.
"That's horrible, Harry. I am so sorry." Albus said, his heart hurting for the teen in front of him.
"I uh, sort of ran out of class," Harry admitted, lowering his head.
"I understand, Harry. And remember, I'm listening as your grandfather, not your headmaster. I'll make sure he doesn't know." Dumbledore winked.
Harry cracked a nervous smile, but then swallowed, finding the urge to continue to speak. "I went to Moony Da's office but the door was closed. I was too far gone to go anywhere else so I just sat down and threw my cloak over me and Moony Da found me."
Albus sensed there was something more, but didn't want to push. He stayed silent, letting Harry tell him when he was ready.
"I was scratching up my arms," Harry whispered, looking down again. "Moony Da talked to me and healed my arms. But I didn't mean to! I was working so hard!" Harry protested.
"Oh, Harry," Dumbledore said, pulling the fragile teen close to him. "I know, I know. I am so glad you're safe."
"You're not mad?" Harry whispered after a minute.
"Mad? Of course not!" Albus said, pulling Harry away enough to look in his eyes.
"Disappointed?" Harry asked, shrinking. That was even worse.
"No!" Dumbledore said, a bit sharper than he had intended. He took a break before speaking again, looking deep into Harry's eyes. "I am proud of you. I know how hard you are fighting. You are doing a phenomenal job and I am honored to be a part of it."
"I love you, Granddad," Harry said, hugging him.
"I love you, too."
Later on that afternoon, Minerva found Albus and Harry on the ground with candy surrounding them. There was an open textbook on the table and there were legos and wands on the floor as well.
"Albus Dumbledore," Minerva said, standing up straight.
"Ah, hello, Minerva. Would you like a jellybean? I believe this one is cherry."
Minerva wrinkled her nose. "No thank you. I believe you have a meeting to get to?"
Dumbledore checked the time and sighed. "Alas, our time is up, dear boy."
Harry helped him stand up and hugged him. "Thanks, Grandad! I love you."
"I love you, too," Albus said, kissing the top of Harry's head.
"Did you do any homework or was this textbook just a prop?" Minerva asked as they broke apart.
"We started my homework, promise!" Harry said.
"Mhmm," Minerva replied, unconvinced. She peered over the empty textbook and said, "Transfiguration?"
"Yeah," Harry mumbled, blushing. "But I'll put it away!" Harry said, going to pick up the textbook. He didn't need to embarrass himself in front of his professor.
"Nonsense. I may know a thing or two about the topic." Minerva said pointedly.
Harry blushed deeper.
"I'm on my way. Harry, be good for your grandmother."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, Grandad. See you later."
Albus chuckled and waved, shutting the door behind him.
"Now, let's head to the kitchen," Minerva said. She waved her wand, cleaning up the mess. She then followed Harry to the kitchen. Harry sat down the textbook and sat across from his grandmother.
"I feel so stupid," Harry admitted, still blushing. What fifth-year boy wants to admit to their grandma/professor they can't do something in their class?
"Harry James! You are most certainly not!" Minerva said sharply.
"But I just can't get this vanishing spell! I should have it by now!" Harry complained.
"Harry, it's a difficult spell," Minerva said softly, seeing how riled up the teen was. She stood up and moved next to him, rubbing his back. Harry took a few deep breaths, calming himself down.
"Now, have you written your essay about what you've done wrong?" Minerva asked.
"Kind of," Harry admitted. "I have the main points. I thought I switched my wand motion, but it's still not working."
"Let's see it," Minerva ordered, placing a spoon in front of him.
"Evanesco," Harry said, waving his wand.
Nothing happened.
"Here, try this," Minerva said, adjusting his hand.
The spoon flickered that time but didn't disappear.
"Ugh." Harry groaned.
"That's spectacular progress! Don't be discouraged. Now, what are you thinking about?" Minerva asked.
Harry sat up straighter and talked to her about it.
For the next hour, Harry and McGonagall worked on the vanishing charm. She helped him with his concentration and wand movement. By the end of the tutoring session, Harry was able to successfully vanish a spoon, a mug, and a book. Needless to say, Harry was exhausted by the end of it.
"Fantastic, Harry!" Minerva said, clapping her hands together as Harry vanished a book.
"Thanks, Grandma Min," Harry replied, wiping his brow.
"I think some lemonade is in order," Minerva said, calling a house elf and asking for some.
Once they sipped on their lemonade, Minerva spoke again. "I am rather proud of you, you know."
"It took me a long time."
"It took me a while, too, and I'm the best at transfiguration in this castle!" Minerva argued.
Harry smiled. "Don't let Grandad hear that. He'd say he is."
"The student passed the teacher long ago," Minerva shot back, smiling.
It was quiet for a moment before Minerva spoke again. "Did you hear about what happened in the Great Hall at lunch?"
Harry shook his head.
"It seems," Minerva said, pushing her lips together to not laugh, "that someone pranked Professor Schoutz. His skin and hair were all pink and he kept oinking."
"No way!" Harry said, his hands slamming on the table.
"Oh yes, it was a rather serious affair."
Harry lost it and laughed so hard he almost knocked over his lemonade. He then stopped abruptly and looked at Minerva. "Did he know it was my dad? Did he talk about what happened?"
Minerva saw this drastic change in Harry and said, "Oh, Harry, take a breath. He had no suspicions and Professor Schoutz didn't even bring you up. Your dadfoot did tell me that Schoutz was rather cruel this morning."
Harry looked down and swirled the lemonade in his glass. "Did he tell you what happened after?"
Minerva shook her head. "No. He said it was up to you what you wanted to share."
"That's what they told Grandad, too."
"Harry, I am rather glad I was made aware of what happened and I have taken care of the situation, well, part of it. The rest later."
"What'd you do?" Harry asked.
Minerva smiled. "I think you and your Uncle Moony will need to watch Sirius' memory."
Harry mentally put that aside for later, knowing that whatever it would be, would be hilarious.
"Now, about what happened later, that's up to you. I understand and respect your decision if you don't want to share and I am honored to listen if you do."
Since Harry had already shared with his grandad, he felt like he should share with his Grandma Min.
Harry took a deep breath and told her what he told Dumbledore.
In the end, Minerva made sure to hold herself together but was just barely able to. "I'm proud of you, Harry. You're doing so well!"
"Thank you," Harry responded dutifully.
Minerva took Harry's chin in her hand and moved his head so it faced her. "Mr. Potter. You've known me before I was your professor and during. Have I ever said something I didn't mean, ever?"
Harry thought for a moment. "No," he admitted.
"Now, would I ever lie to you? Especially about this?"
"No," Harry repeated.
"Good. Now that you understand that, let me remind you that I love you with my whole heart."
Harry gave her a genuine smile now. "Thank you, Grandma Min. I love you, too."
Harry hugged her and was interrupted by Sirius running and joining in on the hug.
"Mr. Black!" Minerva cried, though obviously amused.
"You love it, Minnie. Just give in!" Sirius said, squeezing tighter.
Minerva rolled her eyes but waited another moment before using her magic to push him off.
"We had some lovely time together. Harry worked on the vanishing charm and made impressive progress. I think even enough to not have to write the essay."
"Really?!" Harry asked, his eyes bright.
Minerva nodded to affirm his question.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Harry said, giving her another hug.
"You're welcome," Minerva chuckled, ruffling his hair.
"I really appreciate it, Minerva," Sirius said, pulling Harry close to him once he had let Minerva go.
"It was my pleasure, truly. I got to work on transfiguration with my grandson. I think I won this one."
Sirius gave her one of his award-winning smiles, thanking her again.
"I expect I'll see you both in the Great Hall for dinner?" She asked.
"Yes, ma'am," Harry replied, nodding.
"Good." She kissed Harry's head, saying goodbye to him. Sirius was still next to Harry and put his head out to be kissed. Minerva shook her head but kissed Sirius' head.
"I love you too, Sirius."
"Thanks, Mum!" Sirius called.
Minerva shook her head but felt her heart warm. "Goodbye, boys."
"Bye, Minnie!" Sirius called out as she left.
"Whoo, transfiguration for a whole hour? That sounds brutal." Sirius commented.
Harry nodded. "I'm glad we did it but it was hard. I'm exhausted."
Sirius looked Harry over, nodding. "Yeah, I can see that. Go rest before dinner, we'll get you up."
Harry wanted to argue but was too tired to. He just hugged Sirius and went to his room.
Later on, before dinner, Sirius, Remus, and Harry were in Remus' office (since he had a pensive in there) watching Sirius' memory of lunch. As they exited, Remus was still laughing.
"That was seriously the best thing I've ever seen!" Remus held his middle from laughing so much.
"You weren't even sly about it, you just did it!" Harry commented.
"What can I say, I'm a Gryffindor through and through." Sirius shrugged.
"I want him GONE!" Sirius roared, banging his fists on Dumbledore's desk.
Sirius was in Dumbledore's office after dinner talking about the incident that day. Dumbledore had hoped they had enough time to calm down but apparently not.
Remus and Harry were behind Sirius as they had walked to the office and Sirius flooed. They had opened the door and seen Sirius bang on the desk.
"Sirius," Dumbledore said, gesturing towards Harry who had walked in and paled.
Sirius looked back. He sighed. It was unfortunate Harry had seen that but it didn't change how he felt.
"Harry knows how I feel," Sirius told him.
"Yes, but he doesn't need to see your anger," Remus said, walking towards Sirius with Harry.
Dumbledore bit back a sigh. He looked at the three boys sitting in front of them. Minerva had entered with Remus and Harry and was standing off to the side.
"Harry, how do you feel?" Dumbledore asked, moving his eyes to the teenager in front of him.
Harry bit his lip and looked around.
"It's okay, Harry. Just tell us how you feel. No one will be mad." Remus told him gently, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
Harry gave him a small nod and took a deep breath. "I don't think he needs to leave. I mean, any ministry employee isn't going to be good if Fudge is sending them. I do think he needs to know that the fidgets are allowed and what they are. In his class, especially, we are just sitting there and a fidget is helpful for a lot of students and I don't want them to get in trouble like I did."
"That's very thoughtful, Harry," Dumbledore said, giving Harry an approving glance over his half-moon spectacles.
Harry gave him a small nod and shrunk a little with the praise.
"Chest out, Harry. Show your pride." Sirius whispered. He wanted to work on the boy's confidence.
Harry blushed but sat up straighter and pushed his chest out a bit.
Sirius smiled and turned back to Dumbledore where his gaze darkened. "I still don't want him around Harry."
"Sirius-" Dumbledore started.
"He's hurting him!" Sirius loudly said.
"Mister Black, that is enough!" Minerva said sharply, stepping into the conversation.
Sirius stopped talking and put his gaze on the transfiguration professor. It's been a while since she talked to him like that.
"If you're acting like a teenager we will treat you like one."
"He's my son!" Sirius protested.
"And you're his father!" Minerva shot back.
Remus came in the middle. "Sirius and I both want the best for Harry and have strong feelings about it. However, there's no reason Harry needs to watch Sirius act like this."
"I have before! I'm not a little kid!" Harry protested his hands in fists.
"No, no you're not. But you don't need to see this."
Harry opened his mouth to argue, but Minerva leaned in and whispered in his ear.
"Really?" Harry asked, his eyes lit up.
Minerva nodded and Harry stood up. "Okay, we'll be back!" He said, following the witch out of the room.
Remus and Sirius were confused but didn't say anything. Whatever she said to Harry had clearly worked.
"Now, Mr. Black, let's try to discuss this like adults," Dumbledore said, folding his hands in front of him.
Sirius blushed a little at the hidden reprimand but still was angry. "I don't need Harry around someone who thinks he's a liar. There's no reason Harry needs anyone else in his life to dislike him."
"Not every student gets along with every professor." Dumbledore pointed out.
"Well sure, but he's not going to last longer than this year, you know that."
Dumbledore sighed. That was true.
Remus was quietly thinking but finally spoke up. "If I may, Professor. I might have a solution."
Dumbledore smiled and nodded his head at Remus. "Go ahead, Mr. Lupin."
"Well, Harry isn't learning anything in DADA, we know that, correct?"
Both Dumbledore and Sirius nodded.
"Why don't we just excuse Harry from that class? He's not learning anything. During that time he can still learn defense but from another professor."
"Interesting," Albus said, stroking his beard.
"We all know Harry will need specialized training and why not use the time he has? He's busy enough as it is. I know he's meeting with all of us, but that's for his mental health. We can still do some training during those times, but he needs to know people care. We can use his defense time for actually teaching him defense." Remus explained.
"I like that idea. That might work." Albus said with a small smile on his face.
"I still want Schoutz reprimanded," Sirius said.
Albus turned his piercing gaze on him. "I can do that. I am not happy with his treatment of Mr. Potter, either. Remember, Sirius, that is my grandson. I am his headmaster, but I am his grandfather first and foremost."
Sirius nodded. "You're right. I apologize, Albus. I know I can sometimes be a bit overprotective."
"A bit?" Remus chuckled.
Sirius huffed and looked at Remus. "You're insufferable, you know that?"
Remus just laughed and kissed his cheek, mollifying Sirius.
Albus' eyes twinkled. He did love these men.
"What do you have to tell me?" Harry asked, practically jumping. Minerva had whispered to him that she had an exciting update about their project they've been working on together and Harry wanted to know what was going on.
Minerva led Harry into her office and shut the door. She sat Harry down and sat across from him. "I had a conversation with Professor Snape the other day."
Harry looked at her expectantly.
"I told him that I had an independent study with one of my older students and that they were interested in becoming an animagus. He has agreed to brew the potion since it is part of a course for them. You will be able to take the potion in a month!"
"Grandma Min! No way!" Harry asked, jumping up and hugging her.
"I assume this means you want to take it."
"Of course! But what about the mandrake leaf?" Harry asked, pulling away.
"Ah, I can offer you a solution with that."
Harry looked at her quizzically.
"You have to hold a mandrake leaf in your mouth, but I can shrink it and perform a sticking charm. You'll totally forget about it."
"That's spectacular! Oh, Grandma Min! I'm so excited!"
"I'm so glad. We do have to work on you clearing your mind. You'll have to really work on meditating now so you can see your form."
"I'm getting better. I'll work on it more. Maybe we can work on it next time we're together, too?"
Minerva smiled. "Sounds good to me."
Harry gave her a large grin. Things were starting to look up. He could do this. He's going to be okay.
Alternatives to Harming Yourself:
1. Talk to someone you care about and/or trust
2. Exercise
3. Get outside and get some fresh air
4. Have a warm beverage
5. Write something down
6. Go to therapy/ contact your therapist
7. Be with your pet or another animal
8. Take a nap
9. Play or fiddle with a fidget