Author's Notes: I am really in the pit of despair when it currently comes to writing.

I just hope this reads well enough.

Chapter Four

I Wish I'd Never Met You

Maeve sat on Aimee's bed, legs stretched out, ice cream container in hand as she stared at the flickering images on the television screen directly in front of herself. She took a scoop of strawberry ice cream and swallowed then stared down at the container in disgust before taking another scoop.

Aimee breezed into the room carrying a spoon.

"Mum said it's okay for you to stay tonight," Aimee said as she closed the door then plonked herself onto the bed beside Maeve and dipped into the ice cream container as Maeve held it out to her.

"I shouldn't," Maeve murmured. "I can't wear these again," she said, indicating her clothes.

"I've got plenty of stuff that'll fit you," Aimee said, brightly. "Or I can just drive you over for a quick change."

"Thanks," Maeve murmured.

"Where are we up to?" Aimee asked, looking at the television.

"Buttercup is hating Wesley for killing the only good thing in her life."

"I thought he was called Westley."

"Whatever," Maeve muttered and took another scoop of ice cream.

"Anyway, she's not hating Westley. She's hating the Dread Pirate Roberts for killing Westley. Only he didn't kill Westley 'cause the Dread Pirate Roberts is Westley, so he's only pretending he killed her one true love when he is her one true love. It's all really confusing."

"And Westley is so thick he can't see his one true love is right there in front of him if he'd just rip off that fucking disguise."

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

"Fuck, I hate that line," Maeve muttered, digging her spoon into the container in her hand.

"I'm sorry," Aimee said gently.

"Not your fault," Maeve said. "At least now I know it really is done. He wants us to move on, I'll move on."

"So what are you going to do? Change your hair?"

"Wouldn't give him the satisfaction," Maeve pouted.

"We'll find something really knockout for you to wear tomorrow. Maybe that'll make him wake up to himself."

"He doesn't deserve it," Maeve muttered.

"You could always get back together with Jackson. He still likes you."

"Who makes the same mistake twice?"

"He has," Aimee said.

Maeve passed the ice cream container to Aimee and slid down the bed until her head was resting against the pillow.

"Maybe he's right," she muttered. "Maybe we shouldn't be together. Ever since I fell in love with him, I've been fucking things up."

"You must have been doing something right, for him to still love you."

"Well, he doesn't now."

"I don't think that's true," Aimee said, finishing the last of the ice cream and putting the container aside.

"You just don't want it to be true, Aimes," Maeve murmured.

"I think he's confused. Like I was confused about Steve."

"I'm sorry about that, Aimes," Maeve said apologetically. "I didn't understand."

"I didn't understand either until talking to Jean today."

"I think I was hoping…"

"That if me and Steve got back together, you and Otis would?"

"Well, we were never together, but… I suppose it's another sign it's really over."

"Hey, don't do that," Aimee admonished. "What works for me may not work for everyone. This is what's right for me. What's right for you is kidnapping Otis until he comes to his senses."

"Think that might be a bit much."

"Come on, help me write my apology to Steve."

Eric, Adam and Otis sat at a table in the study room.

"Are we going riding this weekend?" Otis asked.

"You want to come riding with us again?" Eric asked, surprised.

"I… yes," Otis said, as firmly as he could.

"Why?" Eric asked suspiciously. "What has happened?"

"Nothing has happened. I'm… you said you were sick of me moping. I've had my time alone. I'm moving on."

"Moving on from Maeve?" Eric asked slowly.

"Yes… and Ruby," Otis said.

Eric grimaced at the latter's name.

"Did you say something to Wiley?" Adam asked.

"No, not… directly…" Otis said, evasively.

"What do you mean?" Eric asked suspiciously.

Otis sighed and wouldn't look at Eric. "I told Aimee to tell Maeve that it's time for both of us to move on. I let her know that I've deleted Maeve's number from my phone."

Eric gasped as Adam nodded to himself.

"That explains it," Adam said.

"What?" Otis asked.

"Have you seen her this morning?" Adam asked.

"No," Otis said.

"She looks different."

"Well… good," Otis said. "If that helps her move on…"

"How does she look?" Eric asked.

"Like that," Adam said, head nodding to indicate they should look behind them.

Otis and Eric turned to see Maeve and Aimee walking past the study room. They were very familiar with Aimee's style but to it see it presented on Maeve was unusual. Only Adam seemed unfazed.

"I always liked that top," he said.

Eric turned to him, frowning.

"When Aimee wore it," he clarified.

Eric turned to Otis and said, "See what you have done to her."

"She's just… it's for the best, Eric."

"What is for the best is that you go to her, tell her you're sorry, tell her you love her and tell her you want to sit and work things out with her so you will never need to say sorry again."

Maeve sat in the canteen, watching as a red-eyed Aimee walked over to her, piece of paper in hand. When she sat down next to Maeve, the girl gently reached out and put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"He wouldn't take it?" she asked, sad and gently surprised.

"I read it out to him," Aimee said.

"How did he react?"

"Relieved. He hated hurting me. He was so glad to find out it wasn't him. That he didn't do anything wrong and that I appreciate everything he did try to do to make it easier for me." She paused and looked at Maeve, proudly. "I was able to hug him."

"I'm so proud of you, Aimes," Maeve said sincerely. "That was so brave."

Aimee waved the piece of paper. "He didn't want to take it. Said it was enough to hear it."

"Do you want it?" Maeve asked.

"No," Aimee said.

"I'll take it. Get rid of it for you."

"Thanks," Aimee said, handing the paper to Maeve.

"I'm so glad that's over," Maeve said, pocketing the paper.

"Yeah, now we can both get on with our lives."

"Mmmm," Maeve said, involuntarily glancing across the room at Otis sitting beside Eric and across from Adam.

"Has he noticed you?" Aimee asked, hopefully.

"Yeah, I did see him staring as we walked past the study room. He didn't look happy."

"That's 'cause he knows he's making a mistake but he's too proud to admit it."

"Maybe he really was in love with Ruby. Maybe he loved her more than me."

"If he loved her more than you, he'd still be with her."

"He seemed happy with her."

"When you said they made a good pair you didn't make it sound like a compliment."

"I'm just pathetic," Maeve muttered, burying her head in her hands.

"He should talk to you," Aimee said. "I think it's really shitty of him not to talk to you. Even if you don't make a go of it. He should talk to you."

Maeve sat on the broken remains of the wall that had surrounded the old toilet block, staring at the rubble, cigarette in hand.

She heard footsteps from behind her and said, "Not today, long-pole. Can I just be alone?"

"Oh, sorry," came Otis' voice from behind her and she quickly turned to see him start to step back behind the tree that had concealed her presence until the last second.

"Otis," she called and her heart skipped a beat as he stopped, hesitated, then turned to not quite look at her.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't realise anyone was here."

"I thought you were Adam. He comes here sometimes." She studied him, wishing he would look at her, hoping he wouldn't run as his body was obviously telling him it wanted to.

"Why?" Otis asked, though it seemed perfunctory.

"To break big pieces of rubble into little pieces of rubble. He's going to be really upset when they finally get around to clearing it all out."

"I'm surprised they haven't done it already," Otis said.

"Did you need some peace and quiet?" Maeve asked.

"I need a break from Eric and Adam yammering in my ear," Otis sighed.

"Yeah. I've got Aimee and Goat," Maeve said, ruefully.

"Goat doesn't talk a lot from what I can see. I have it worse."

"Look, I've been here a while," Maeve said. "I'll let you have your turn now."

"No, no, you stay," Otis insisted. "I'll find… there's plenty of places around."

Maeve forlornly watched him walk away.

"Thanks for helping Aimee," she called. "Suggesting she write it down was a good idea."

"I didn't do anything," Otis said and continued walking away.

"And thanks for trying to tell Aimee about Isaac. I understand why you didn't want to tell me directly."

Otis stopped, shoulders hunched then turned to face her.

"I should have tried again," he said. "Waited until she calmed down. Got Eric to tell her. Or you. I'm sorry."

"Not on you, Otis," Maeve said. "Everything would have been on him if anything happened."

"You deserved to know—"

"He wouldn't be the first guy who lied to a girl to get into her pants."

"That doesn't make it right," Otis almost shouted, the first sign of actual life she had seen in him for a long time.

"No," Maeve gently agreed. "But… if that's why… I don't blame you for any of that, Otis…"

Otis was quiet for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry for disturbing you. Do you mind if I come here tomorrow?"

"I'll steer clear," Maeve said.

"Thanks," he murmured and started to turn away.

"This place is important to you?" she asked.

"This was always my safe place until you intruded," he said flatly, then noticed the flinch she failed to conceal. "Sorry, that came out harsher than I intended."

"Did it?" she muttered to herself.

"Why do you come here?" he asked and she almost sensed genuine curiosity in his tone.

"This is where it began, isn't it? The clinic. I just want to remember what we had."

"And see how it ended up," he said, waving his arm around. "We're not good for each other, Maeve."

"You're wrong."

"I wish I'd never met you."

Aimee sat on the wall surrounding the main building, snuggling Goat. Eric sat beside her.

"He really hurt her, saying that," Aimee said.

"I don't know what is wrong with him," Eric said. "He really does still love her – don't tell Maeve I said that. But he's trying to pretend that love doesn't matter."

"No guy has ever hurt her like that," Aimee said.

"He's being an idiot."

"I've just about given up on him," Aimee said.

"Does Maeve actually love him?" Eric asked.

"Of course she loves him," Aimee said, almost scandalised. "Do you think she'd be putting up with this crap if she didn't love him? I thought they'd be good together but now I'm starting to wonder. All he seems to be doing lately is hurting her."

"Yeah," Eric said, gloomily.

"I mean, my mum says you always hurt the ones you love but this… this is not right."

"My mum says the ones we love the most are the ones who can hurt us the most."

"I feel like I just want to punch him in the face. I thought it'd be good if they talked, but not if he's going to say shit like that."

"Do you want me to let him know how much he hurt Maeve?"

"Yes… no… I don't know…"

"Maybe it's best if she does move on," Eric said, unhappily.

"Is Otis moving on?"

"He's trying. He went riding with us on the weekend. He's coming bowling with us tomorrow night. He hasn't done either of those since everything went crap."

"Maeve and I just spend our time watching movies, eating ice cream and playing scabby queen. I think she's feeling lonely being in the caravan by herself again. Fuck Isaac for costing her everything."

"It's all my fault," Eric lamented.

"Why would you say that?"

"If I hadn't invited everyone over to the party… if I'd just invited Maeve… he wouldn't have gotten drunk and they could have just talked. There'd have been no need to leave a voicemail."

"I was the one who told her to tell him she liked him even though he was with Ola. That's why they broke up, isn't it?"

"No, that's why he told Maeve he couldn't see her again. He told Ola he loved her and that's why they broke up."

"What?"

"She laughed and then she dumped him."

"What a shitty thing to do. I thought she was nice."

"He didn't love her and that's when she knew she didn't actually love him."

"What a cow," Aimee breathed.

"Hey, why don't you bring her bowling?" Eric asked, suddenly enthused. "You two can come in and I can say, 'Maeve, Aimee, what a surprise. Sit with us.' You wouldn't mind sitting with Adam, would you?"

"I don't think Maeve's ever gone bowling. She'd be suspicious if I ask."

Eric sighed. "What can we do to get them together?" he asked, gloomily.

"Maybe there's nothing," Aimee said, unhappily. "Maybe we just have to let them go their separate ways."

Neither of them noticed that, sitting at the top of the stairs with Anwar and Olivia, Ruby was hearing every word they said.

Otis sat opposite Eric and Adam at the table in the bowling alley which the latter couple had begun to consider theirs. Otis was trying to eat but it was clear his appetite was not back yet.

"This is you trying to move on, is it?" Adam asked.

"I'm here, aren't I? I've come bowling," Otis said.

"You look like you're still processing and it looks like you're getting nowhere."

"It's only been a week."

"It's been five weeks," Eric corrected.

"It's been a week since I let Maeve know she should move on. That's… that's when I committed to moving on."

"What does moving on mean to you?" Adam asked.

"This. Going riding with you. Doing the type of stuff I did before I ever met Maeve."

"I still don't understand why," Adam said. "Do you think she doesn't love you?"

"She still behaves as if she loves him," Eric said.

"I told you. That isn't the point," Otis said.

"Isn't it?" Adam asked. "Do you know how lucky it is to have someone who loves you?"

"I hurt her."

"And I've hurt Eric. And I'm sorry about that. And I'm lucky he was able to forgive me. Because I'd been alone since Aimee dumped me and I wasn't sure if anybody would ever love me again."

Otis noticed the tears almost forming in Adam's eyes and glanced away as Eric gently touched his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Hey," Eric said quietly.

Otis spoke slowly. "I understand what you're saying, Adam, but—"

"Oh, what?" asked Eric, rhetorically, noticing something behind Otis.

"What?" Otis asked.

"Don't look, Otis, but the Untouchables are here. Including Ruby."

Otis glanced around, saw the trio walk along the row of tables approaching them then looked back at Adam and Eric.

"Did you invite them?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Why would I invite Ruby anywhere?" Eric asked. "Adam?"

"I didn't invite them. Well, not this time."

"This time?" Otis asked.

"I did ask Rubes if she wanted to come bowling after you two broke up, but she said it would be really uncomfortable for her."

"Okay, they've sat down two tables behind you," Eric said.

"You don't have to keep track of them, Eric," Otis said.

Otis sat at the table watching Eric release his bowling ball, following its trajectory until it scattered all the pins.

Eric squealed in delight and hugged Adam. He glanced at Otis, called "You should come and have a bowl" and then his face fell as he glanced at the equipment counter.

Otis turned to see the Untouchables collecting their equipment. Ruby noticed his gaze, said something to the others and, with a brief glance at him, they took their equipment to their lane.

Ruby leaned against the counter, tilted her head and looked quizzically at Otis, giving him a gentle sad smile.

With a small smile in return, he stood and walked over to her.

"Hey," he said as he leant against the counter, mirroring her position.

"Hey," she said, smiling gently up at him.

"I did not expect to see you here," he said.

"I've missed it," Ruby sighed. "I finally convinced Anwar and Liv to come with me."

"Have they bowled before or do you need to teach them?"

"They've both had boyfriends who bowled."

"How have you been?"

"Hmmm-mmmm," hummed Ruby.

"People have noticed you've changed," Otis said, tilting his head towards her. "They've commented. You still carry yourself like the Queen Bee but you don't sting anymore."

"The Queen Bee doesn't need to sting," Ruby said, preening her hair and gently smirking. "She has her retinue for that."

"Does Olivia like being considered your retinue?"

"She likes being considered my friend and basking in my reflected glory," Ruby said in a gently self-mocking tone that they both recognised. "I think Anwar's forgotten we were even together."

Otis chuckled then said, quietly, "I've missed you."

"Don't, Otis," she said, quietly. "That's not what this is."

Otis nodded and swallowed. "How's your dad?" he asked.

"He's doing okay. I think he even misses you. He's just coming around to tolerating Anwar."

Otis snorted.

"You look terrible, OT," Ruby said, gently.

"Thanks," he said, wryly. "I have been told."

"I bumped into CB last week," she said, airily.

"Ruby..." Otis said, gently admonishing.

"Just a joke."

"Even as initials, I don't think that is an appropriate way of referring to my… to Maeve."

"What would you like me to call her?" she asked, gently challenging.

"You could try Maeve."

"I only call friends by their first name or diminutive, OT."

"Then I suppose you will have to call her by something you call people who aren't your friends."

"You... You in the frilly jacket. You... Teacher with the hairy beard. You… Girl who told me she was never going to try to steal you from me no matter what."

Otis looked at her in surprise.

Ruby wouldn't look at him. "She was crying. In the bathroom. Last week. Had been crying. Said that to me."

Otis said nothing.

"Do you know what I said to her?" Ruby asked.

"What?" asked Otis, almost inaudibly.

"That she couldn't steal something that didn't belong to me."

"Oh, Ruby…" Otis sighed.

"Shhh," Ruby said. "There's no bad guys here."

"Except that fucking cunt who deleted the voicemail," Otis muttered, vehemently.

Ruby stared at him silently for a moment. "I have only ever heard you use that word twice. You don't like it."

Otis was silent.

"You still love her," she said, and they both knew it was not a question.

"Love is never enough, is it?" Otis murmured.

"Have you talked to your mum about it?" Ruby asked.

"No… she… it's all falling apart between her and Ola's dad. Mum… she seems to be a good therapist. She seems to have helped Aimee. But when it comes to me. Her personal life. She's a mess. Just like me."

"And your dad…?"

"He's worse."

"You never talked much about your dad."

"He's a self-described arsehole. He told me never to read the shit in his books. He fucking cheated with his clients. There's nothing I could ever learn from mum or dad that could ever help me deal with relationships."

Ruby was silent for a long moment, then said quietly, "You could talk to my dad. Him and mum have had a good relationship."

"Why would your dad talk to me?"

Ruby smiled gently at him. "Because he still likes you and you need to get your fucking head out of your arse."

Author's Notes: Sorry. Couldn't find a better way to end this chapter.

I'm going to try to finish this story before I move back to the other incomplete stories. I need to focus on one at a time.