Author's Note: In this chapter, I made up facts about being a healer and also referenced HP wiki, TW for references to self-harm. You are loved!
Urgwaew: You are so kind! Thank you for your review! I am so proud of Harry's growth! And you do have a point about the naps! In my own personal experience, naps can be helpful because when you're asleep, there is no temptation or any bad thoughts and so I use that strategy when I can and I'm probably just projecting it onto Harry! But you did give me a suggestion for a later chapter and sparked an idea so thank you! I am so glad you liked that chapter! And thank you for the congratulations! I went from being a building sub to taking over for a teacher who is on maternity leave at a new school. It's a big change but I'm looking forward to continuing to grow as a teacher! (I just graduated in December which is why I don't have a full-time position). I appreciate you!
"Are you sure this will work?" Harry asked.
"Harry, you're asking arguably the best transfiguration professor alive," Minerva said dryly.
"Sorry," Harry replied sheepishly, looking down.
"It's no matter. I know you're excited." Minerva said.
Harry was meeting with his Grandma Min and they were talking about Harry's animagus progress so far. Minerva had the mandrake leaf and had shrunken it enough to fit inside Harry's mouth so he wouldn't even notice it.
"A month, right?" Harry asked, stalling.
"Yes, you know that. Now, open your mouth so I can place it in there."
"Won't you think it's gross?"
Minerva sighed. "Harry, I changed your diapers when you were a baby and once you lived here I babysat you. I've also been your professor. Your freshly brushed mouth is the least of my concerns."
Harry nodded and opened his mouth.
Minerva reached in and attached a small leaf to the side of Harry's left cheek.
"There," she said, removing her hands and cleaning them with her wand. "How does that feel?"
Harry shut his mouth and moved his tongue around.
"Gentle, now," Minerva warned.
"Good. It's a bit odd, but only because I know it's there." Harry admitted.
Minerva nodded, understanding.
"Thank goodness you did this. I wouldn't have even been able to figure this out without you!" Harry said, sitting back down.
Minerva smiled at her grandson. "It's my pleasure. However, it would have been hilarious watching you in class."
"Grandma Min!" Harry cried in mock outrage.
"Your fathers were rather amusing," she said, a smile tugging on her lips.
"You'll have to show me a memory sometime," Harry said.
"And I certainly shall, but after we discuss the chapters you read."
"Deal," Harry said, opening up his textbook and pulling out his notes.
When Harry got back to his quarters, he was greeted by Remus and Sirius sitting on the couch together.
"Harry! How was your session with Professor McGonagall?" Remus asked, smiling.
"Good," Harry said, overly conscious of how his voice sounded. Do you think they noticed anything?
"Take a seat. There's something we want to talk to you about." Remus told him.
They must notice something!
Harry slowly sat down and twisted his hands nervously in his seat. "Uh, what's up?"
"You're not in trouble, Cub," Remus told him knowingly.
Harry sighed in relief but still was nervous about what they wanted to talk to him about.
"We wanted to talk to you about where you'll be living after the break," Sirius said.
Harry nodded to show he was listening, but he had absolutely no idea where this conversation would go.
"We were talking and wanted to bring you into the conversation and discuss when you should be moving back to the dorms," Remus said.
Harry sat up straighter. He was looking forward to moving back.
"It'll be after the break for sure, but we wanted to know how you feel," Remus said, inviting Harry to speak.
"I'm ready to go back," Harry quickly said.
Remus smiled and Sirius teased Harry by saying, "Just throw us to the side!"
"Dadfoot, you know I'm not doing that," Harry replied.
"I know, Kid," Sirius replied with a reassuring smile.
"We don't know how everything is going to go, but we were thinking the second or third week we are back. Is that fair to you?" Remus asked.
Harry nodded, excited to finally have a date.
"Good. Now we have to talk about the restrictions that are on you. Right now you can't go places by yourself and you don't have your wand. We don't want you going places without your wand so we're going to start giving you your wand back. We will still take it at night, but not besides that. Later we will start letting you be by yourself," Remus explained.
"My wand!" Harry cried, happy to have it back.
"Yes, Harry, your wand," Remus smiled.
"Can I have it now?" Harry asked.
"Do you have any questions?" Remus asked.
Harry bit back a sigh and shook his head. He was just anxious to get his wand.
Sirius pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Harry, who gratefully grabbed it. Gold sparks flew off the top, happy to be reunited.
"How do you feel?" Remus asked with a smile.
"Bloody brilliant!" Harry replied, grinning.
"Good," Sirius said warmly, leaning forward to pat Harry on the knee.
"I-I got to go do something with it," Harry said, wanting to celebrate having his wand by himself for the first time in months.
"Why don't you go to the Gryffindor Common Room and see your friends?" Sirius suggested.
"Yeah!" Harry said, shooting up. He went to turn on his heels but froze and said, "Who is taking me?"
Remus and Sirius exchanged looks and Remus said, "You can go by yourself."
"But I thought you just said I couldn't do that yet?" Harry asked.
"You're right, but we will let it slide this time. We trust you to make good choices. Unless, of course, you'd rather be escorted?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow/
Harry quickly shook his head. "Nope! Bye, Moony Da! Bye, Dadfoot!" Harry called out as he hurried out the door.
Sirius and Remus smiled and shook their heads. It was good to see Harry finally happy.
Harry was practically bouncing through the halls of Hogwarts, so excited to be free. He loved being near his uncles, of course, but he also appreciated having some privacy and time to think. He loved Hogwarts and was able to appreciate so many more things about her when he was alone. He could notice the details. The halls were pretty empty considering it was a Sunday afternoon
Harry walked past what seemed to be an empty alcove before backing up and looking harder into it.
"Malfoy?" Harry asked.
The blonde-haired Slytherin looked up. He was sitting on the ground and had a book in his lap and a book next to him. "Oh, hey, Potter," Draco muttered. He wasn't unkind about it, just distracted.
Harry looked at the hallway to the Gryffindor Common Room one last time before turning and walking into the alcove. He walked by Draco and said, "Mind if I join you?"
Draco was visibly surprised but shrugged and said, "Sure,"
Harry sat down next to Draco and looked around as they both sat in silence for a few minutes. Harry broke the silence by saying, "What are you working on?"
Draco finished reading a sentence before lifting his eyes up and looking at Harry. "Healing books. Just trying to get a head start on some stuff."
"How's it going?" Harry asked patiently.
Draco sighed. "Alright. There's a lot of information and while I like learning, I'm no Granger." Upon seeing Harry's face, Draco quickly added, "I don't mean that as a bad thing! Listen, I'm smart and I work hard in classes, but there's a reason Granger is ahead of me in almost all of our classes. She lives for this stuff. It's not a bad thing, truly. It's just her."
Harry backed down and nodded. "Yeah, she does love her books."
Draco nodded before glancing back at his book again. He marked the page with his bookmark and shut it. "Why'd you come and sit down?" Malfoy asked.
"You were alone," Harry replied. "You are sitting in an alcove on a Sunday afternoon. That's not normal Malfoy behavior. Where are your friends?"
"Zabini is off with some girl right now," Draco responded, rolling his eyes.
"What about Crabbe and Goyle?" Harry asked.
Draco gave a dry laugh. "Those nitwits are not my friends. They do follow me around like lost puppies, though. They're not terrible, but reading and studying to them is a concept I don't think they'd understand. It's easier alone."
Harry chuckled and nodded. They weren't particularly bright, that's for sure.
"Why the alcove?" Harry asked.
"It just seemed like a quiet spot. The library is too predictable and I didn't want to be bothered by anyone."
Harry shifted uncomfortably. "I can leave, really,"
"Oh no, Potter. You're fine. I just didn't want anyone teasing me or distracting me. I've been at this for long enough. A chat is appreciated."
Harry relaxed, happy he wasn't being a bother. "You really do like this healing stuff, don't you?"
For the first time, Harry saw a real smile on Draco's face. It was a small one, but genuine. "Yes. Yes, I do. I'm a Slytherin for a reason and it's not because I'm evil," Draco said, giving Harry a knowing look. "I may have acted like it, but Uncle Sev has been great. And I've got the drive to do this. I want to help people. I like figuring these things out and you see the tangible results of your efforts. Look, healers have to be ambitious people. If they weren't, we'd have these lackluster healers who wouldn't get anything done. It is some tricky stuff though," Draco sighed, deflating a bit after his rant.
"Have you talked to Madame Pomfrey yet?" Harry asked, referencing a previous conversation the boys had.
Draco shook his head. "Nah, I haven't done that yet. I mean I am only a fifth year."
"They want us to figure our lives out by the time we are seventh years. Fifth-year is not too early. She has had apprentices and assistants from third or fourth year up. Besides, occasionally there have been people serving detentions in the hospital wing and there are always tasks to be done. And no, I don't just mean cleaning out bedpans," Harry added.
Draco cracked a smile. "I guess you're right."
Harry cocked his head at Draco. "Why are you so hesitant? Do you not want to study with Madame Pomfrey?"
"I do!" Draco quickly said.
"Then what is holding you back? I thought you had drive and were ambitious?" Harry teased, nudging Malfoy.
Draco rolled his eyes and elbowed Harry back. "I am, I am. It's just-" Draco sighed. "Everyone expects me to be Malfoy Jr. and be all evil. And I was, but I'm not anymore, er, well I'm working on it. I hate how everyone assumes what I'm like before they even get to know me."
"I understand that," Harry said.
Draco turned to him. "You do?"
Harry scoffed. "Everyone expects me to be The Boy Who Lived and all that jazz. I'm Harry. I'm not some superstar who loves fame and attention. In fact, I kinda despise it. I'm nothing like what people expect me to be and it's exhausting either trying to be who they want or it's both annoying and disheartening when you let them down."
"I didn't know you felt that way, Potter," Draco said, surprised Harry actually understood.
"You'd be surprised about a lot of things," Harry said, not bothering to elaborate.
"Mind if I ask a question, though?" Draco said.
"Shoot," Harry replied.
"You do seem to like attention sometimes. Like that time Professor Lupin taught us about Patronus' and you were the best in the class?"
Harry smiled a bit at that memory. "That's the part of me that definitely came from my Dadfoot." At Draco's confused face Harry amended, "Professor Black." Draco understood now.
"I hate the attention I get from being The Boy Who Lived and everything it entails. But that time we learned about Patronus' and I was the best? Well that was Harry's achievement. It wasn't me as a baby just sitting there. I worked hard for it. I deserved it. I appreciate recognition when I deserve it and it's small things like that. Well, normally. lately, I just don't want any attention."
"Why?" Draco asked.
"It's all too much. After last year, and everything."
Draco shifted uncomfortably now and said, "I really am sorry about what I said."
Harry waved him off. "You're fine, Malfoy, really. I already forgave you. We're teenagers who were born in a war and are becoming adults in another. We have a lot to handle and nasty comments are bound to come out."
"That's true and also really kind. Where'd you come up with that?"
Harry smiled. "My dad- er, Professor Lupin. He's really good at that stuff."
Draco gave a small smile in return. "I've heard that from some of my Slytherins. I personally haven't seen him though, besides in first and third year when it was required, of course. I guess I'll have to see him this year too, huh?"
All Hogwarts students are required to see Remus in their first, third, fifth, and seventh years. Their first year is welcoming them into Hogwarts and seeing how they're adjusting. Their third year is checking in with them now that they're not the young students anymore and how their electives are going. Fifth-year is checking in with them during their OWL year and beginning to inquire about what they want to do after Hogwarts. Seventh year is seeing how they are feeling about leaving Hogwarts and seeing if they're situated in their career path and making inquiries if needed. Every time they come (especially in their first year) Remus subtly screens them for abuse and neglect. As they get older, (especially fifth year), Remus subtly screens for mental illnesses or any other concerning behavior.
This year Remus had already met with the first and third years. He'll be meeting with the fifth years starting in late January and he'll end the year meeting with the seventh years.
"You haven't seen him besides first and third year?" Harry asked.
Draco shook his head. "Nah, nothing against him, though."
"You should, if you want to, I mean. Especially about feeling like you have to act how everyone expects. You don't have to see him on a schedule or anything unless you want to and everything you say has to be confidential."
Draco shrugged and seemed a tad bit uncomfortable with the topic so Harry ended it by saying, "It's there if you want it. Anyway, what type of healer do you want to be?"
Draco was grateful for the change in topic and said, "I don't know yet. I'm interested in a wide variety of healing."
"So Madame Pomfrey would be perfect for you!" Harry said.
"I already told you, Potter, that I don't need people thinking I'm evil."
"And what better way to show them than by helping them. C'mon," Harry said, standing up.
Draco stood up and grabbed his books, following Harry.
Harry led Draco to the hospital wing.
"Potter, I don't know about this," Draco whispered as they started to enter.
"Just trust me," Harry replied confidently.
For some reason that Draco couldn't explain, he did.
There was only one person in the hospital wing right now, a third-year Ravenclaw, and they were reading a book. Harry knew that come tomorrow several of these beds would be full. They were often empty on the weekends and half-full by Monday afternoon.
As they got further into the wing, Harry realized that Madame Pomfrey must've been in her office. As he made his way further back, Draco got more nervous.
Harry went all the way to her office and peeked his head in. Draco stood about 10 feet to the side of Harry, out of sight.
"Aunt Poppy?" Harry asked with a mischievous grin.
"Harry! Are you alright?" Poppy asked, getting up from her desk.
"I'm good, Aunt Poppy. I'm perfectly fine," Harry replied.
The mediwitch gave Harry a large hug and said, "Well, it's about time you came to see me when you're done sick or hurt."
"They're not my fault though, Aunt Poppy!" Harry insisted, giving her a charming smile.
Poppy stood back and raised her eyebrow at Harry. "I don't know about that! Why don't you sit down for some tea and biscuits? I could use a break."
Harry gave her a genuine smile. "That sounds nice, Aunt Poppy. I have a friend here with me, though, if that's okay. He's healthy and everything, we just had some questions. Can he join us?"
"Certainly!" Poppy replied, a bit curious and skeptical at the same time.
"C'mon," Harry whispered to Draco, gesturing with his hand.
Draco shifted his weight back and forth between his feet, looking at the ground.
"C'mon!" Harry said again, this time more forcefully, grabbing ahold of his arm and pulling him in.
Poppy raised her eyebrows and said, "Mr. Malfoy?"
"Hello, Madame Pomfrey," Draco said. He may be nervous, but he was a Malfoy and he knew his manners.
Poppy's eyes shifted to Harry and he nodded at her encouragingly.
"Hello. Please, come sit down."
Harry and Draco had a seat on her couch. Poppy ordered tea and biscuits from the kitchen and within moments they were all handed a steaming cup of tea and two biscuits.
"Just to clarify, you're both well?"
"Yes, Madame Pomfrey," Harry said with a reassuring smile.
"How are classes going for you both? I know exams are in a month," she commented, taking a sip.
"Ugh, don't remind us," Harry groaned.
Draco stiffly sipped his tea, quiet.
Harry sighed and said, "Madame Pomfrey, Malfoy here is interested in being a healer after Hogwarts."
"Is that so?" Poppy asked, her eyebrows raising yet again.
Draco blushed a bit but he cleared his throat and said, "Yes, Madame Pomfrey."
She put her tea on her desk and looked at him appraisingly for several moments before speaking. "Now, I know the reasons why one wants to be a healer can be rather private, so I'm going to ask a few questions if that's alright?"
Draco seemed both relieved and nervous at the same time, but he nodded.
"Do you like to help people?"
Draco nodded.
"Do you have a strong stomach?"
"Absolutely," Draco replied. He had seen enough things at the hands of the Death Eaters to have a stomach of steel.
"Good. Are you able to keep secrets and confidentiality?"
"Yes, ma'am," Draco replied. Again, he's been keeping secrets for as long as he could remember. He was good at that.
"Are you a fast thinker?"
Draco nodded again.
"I've seen you play quidditch. I know you have fast reflexes, but Mr. Potter may have even faster ones," she said with a smile to Harry.
"Aunt Poppy!" Harry hissed, blushing.
Madame Pomfrey shook her head and turned back to Draco. "And have you truly thought about if you want to be a healer?"
"Yes, Madame Pomfrey."
"He's even begun studying!" Harry chimed in.
Draco shot a quick glare at Harry before turning back to the mediwitch. Madame Pomfrey was looking at Draco with interest, approval, curiosity, and pride. "Really?"
"Yes, ma'am," Draco replied.
Madame Pomfrey thought for a moment before saying, "Tell me. What do we as healers take an oath to take care of?"
"Mind, body, soul, spirit, and magic," Draco replied, not even hesitating.
"Good," Poppy replied, impressed.
"What are the symptoms of Dragon Pox?"
"Green and purplish rash or a greenish tinge to the skin. One might also have sparks coming out of their nose when one sneezes. The rash is most common in between the toes when it's a milder case."
"What are three common potions we might use in the hospital wing?"
"Pepper up potion, skelegrow, and calming draught," Draco replied.
"Very good, Mr. Malfoy. I am impressed."
"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey."
"Has Mr. Potter told you about my apprenticeship?"
"A little," Draco admitted.
"Well, if you're interested in healing, I'd love to have you as an apprentice. I could always use an extra set of hands around here and I do enjoy being with the students, especially when they're healthy," Madame Pomfrey said with a smile.
"Really?" Draco asked, genuinely excited.
"Truly," Madame Pomfrey asked, her smile warm and inviting.
"That would be amazing, Madame Pomfrey, thank you!" Draco said, his eyes sparkling.
"It would be my pleasure, Mr. Malfoy."
Harry smiled at the both of them so relieved and happy to see it work out.
Before anyone could say anything else, they heard someone calling, "Harry? Harry!?"
Harry took a quick breath. He set down his half-finished tea and biscuits and said, "You're both good, right? I've gotta run."
Draco nodded and Madame Pomfrey said, "Certainly, but Harry, are you alright?"
"I'm-" Harry didn't have a chance to finish because Sirius was standing in the doorway of the office, Remus behind him.
Harry turned a bright red and chuckled nervously. "I'm uh- gotta go!" Harry scampered out of the office and maneuvered his way in between his uncles. He managed to make it out of the wing until Sirius caught him by the sleeve and said, "Not so fast."
Harry sighed. "Can it at least wait until we are back in our quarters? I don't need the whole school to hear this."
"Come on, Cub," Remus said.
Harry was in between them and walked back to his quarters as if it was a death march. While Harry felt like he'd done nothing wrong, he knew that when both of his parents found him, there was trouble.
Remus sat Harry down in the armchair once they were back in their quarters. Harry crossed his arms and looked at both of them. "What was that about?" Harry asked.
"What was that about?!" Sirius cried, clearly emotional. "We checked the map and saw you in the hospital wing with Draco Malfoy!"
Remus placed a calming hand on Sirius' arm, prompting him to take a few deep breaths.
"We were worried about you. You told us you were going to the Gryffindor Common Room and when we looked we saw you in the hospital wing."
Harry understood now, but he still didn't like how his parents embarrassed him. "I wasn't lying to you, though! I really was heading there!"
Remus had calmed down on the walk back but could see that Sirius and Harry were the opposite of calmed down. "Why don't we all take some deep breaths and then continue?"
Harry and Sirius were rather used to Remus sprouting off some therapist sentence. Sometimes it annoyed and irritated them, but most of the time it helped. Luckily, this time it was helpful and both followed the directions, calming down.
"Good. Harry, why don't you explain to us what happened?" Remus asked once both boys had opened their eyes and were calmer.
"I was walking to the Gryffindor Common Room when I saw Malfoy alone in an alcove with some books. I saw next to him and we were talking. He told me that he wanted to be a healer after Hogwarts and I thought I could bring him to Madame Pomfrey. I know she's had students help her in the past and she mentors them. I brought him there and all of us were just talking until you showed up." Harry took a breath, calming himself down again before saying, "I wasn't trying to lie to you. I was just talking to someone else. I wasn't doing anything wrong and I wasn't by myself, either."
"But you weren't where you said you were going to be!" Sirius said, obviously still upset.
"But I didn't mean to!" Harry insisted.
"Sirius," Remus said warningly, giving his husband a look.
Sirius huffed and crossed his arms, leaning back into the couch.
Remus turned back to Harry and said, "We were just worried when we saw you and Mr. Malfoy in the hospital wing."
"And I get that Moony Da, I do. I also know that most parents don't have a map where they can track their kids! I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was helping him. I was still with a friend. I wasn't lying about that. Something just came up."
Remus nodded. "You're right, Harry. Most parents can't just watch their child's every move. I think both Dadfoot and I often forget how lucky we are to have the map sometimes. I can't promise that we won't use it, but we can work on being more subtle about it. You weren't doing anything wrong."
Harry nodded, content with that answer. "Thank you."
"Of course. Now, I need to calm Dadfoot down. Why don't you go into your bedroom for a bit?"
"Do you want me to leave my wand?" Harry asked knowingly.
Harry saw Sirius bite his lip and so Harry said, "I'll leave it. It'll make you feel better. I'll start on an essay or something."
Harry set his wand down on the table in front of him before getting up and heading to his room. Truthfully, Harry also left his wand there for his own sake. A few months ago, something like this could have easily caused Harry to harm himself to try to distract himself and focus on a different sensation. While Harry didn't feel that way right now, he also didn't need the temptation of having his wand.
When Harry had made his way into his room, Remus set up a silencing charm and turned to Sirius.
"Our son was more mature than you were in that conversation," Remus said sternly.
"Excuse me for being worried!" Sirius cried.
"Sirius, you are allowed to be worried. Hell, I was worried. I calmed down once I saw that Harry was okay and after we talked. Harry did everything right. We allowed him to walk the halls alone. We gave him that responsibility and trust and he didn't break it. If anything, we broke it to him by the way we reacted. Lucky for us, Harry understood. I wouldn't be very pleased if my parents burst in on me and embarrassed me just because I had a conversation with James instead of you."
Sirius opened his mouth to give a scathing reply before taking a deep breath. He waited a moment before taking another breath and said, "You're right. He wasn't deliberately disobeying us. I was just so worried."
"I get it Padfoot, I do," Remus said, this time much softer. "We have to start to trust him again. We can use the map, but if we see something like that again, let's not assume the worst until we know it."
Sirius nodded, letting out a breath. "You're right."
"It's not going to be easy for any of us. Harry has to fight his own demons and that's hard enough. We just have to act less like worried mother hens so we don't embarrass him."
"Ah, but where would the fun in that be?" Sirius said, nudging Remus and smiling.
Remus rolled his eyes and smiled back at him. Remus took down the silencing charm and then said, "Come on, you have essays to grade. Grade a class and then go apologize to Harry. I have notes to take."
Sirius grumbled as he got up to get his bag to grade his essays. "You always have notes to take."
Remus shook his head. If he didn't have one moody teenager, he had a moody husband.
Sirius seemed to read his thoughts because he went behind him and wrapped his hands around him. "I love you, Remus."
"I love you too, Sirius."
"I love you too!" Harry called from his room, popping his head out.
"Oh, you little!" Sirius said, going over to him. Harry was quickly wrapped in a hug by Sirius. The apology was apparently coming sooner rather than later.
"I am so sorry, Pup. I was so worried. I really will work on being less, er, overbearing."
Harry pulled away and said, "Sirius Black, overbearing? No! Really?"
Sirius put his hands on his hips and said, "Oh, I'll get you for that."
"I'm faster than you!" Harry said, already moving behind Remus.
"I grade your essays!" Sirius called out.
"You wouldn't!" Harry gasped, standing to the side.
"Troll! Poor! Troll! Troll!" Sirius said, making checkmarks in the air.
Harry glared at him and then Sirius said, "Nah, I wouldn't. But I would do this!" Sirius made his way to Harry and tickled him until Harry gave in and called for a truce.
"I love you, Harry," Sirius said after he had finished, Harry panting next to him on the couch, his head on his shoulder.
"I love you too, Dadfoot." "I love you, Moony Da."
"I love you too, Harry," Remus replied from the armchair, looking lovingly at them.
Yeah, Sirius and Remus can be annoying, overbearing, and embarrassing at times. Luckily, Harry wouldn't trade them for the world. He thanked anyone who could hear them that he got to grow up with them. All those traits were backed by love and Harry didn't take any of that love for granted.
Alternatives to Harming Yourself:
1. Talk to someone you care about and/or trust
2. Exercise
3. Get outside and get some fresh air
4. Have a warm beverage
5. Write something down
6. Go to therapy/ contact your therapist
7. Be with your pet or another animal
8. Take a nap
9. Play or fiddle with a fidget
10. Do something artistic (draw, paint, use clay, play-doh, etc)
11. Play a game