A/N Hey there,

Sorry for the long wait, I just had too much exams and hadn't even time to eat hahah.

But now I'm free the next weeks and there will be regular updates again.

A/N 2: I know the timeline is a bit messed up, but it fitted the story better that way. In this case, the Ava case and merger happened after Mike's arrest. About Jessicas blackmail: I'm still thinking of something logical, I have something in mind but not sure now. So if someone has any logical ideas, you're welcome to tell them hahah! And in my story Harvey hasn't forgive his mother as you noticed in the last chapters :)

Hope you enjoy the next chapter

… … …

It's been four days since Harvey admitted to himself that he loves Donna, four days that he couldn't think of anything else. He wants to be with her, feel her on him, hear her heart beating, see her smile. But he knows that will never be the case. He'll never tell her, not now, not when he's been in denial for so long and now that he's in a wheelchair, he won't do it to her. She deserves something better and not a man who needs care. A knock on the door pulls him out of his thoughts.

„it is open" he shouts towards the door.

„Hey" says Donna „am I interrupting?"

he shakes his head „never" he says and smiles at her.

… … …

Two days ago

"Mr Specter" says the nurse. "Donna is here, can I let her in?" Harvey nods and a few seconds later she enters his room.

"Hey" she says softly. "Hey" replies Harvey.

"how do you feel?" She asks quietly.

"Good" he says somewhat distantly.

It's the first time they've seen each other since he realized he loves her. He doesn't know how to deal with her when all he wants is to kiss her.

"I'm sorry" she says in a guilty voice. "I thought you..."

"I know" he says. "I'm sorry, too. Maybe I overreacted. I- I was just hurt that you of all people didn't believe me" Donna nods "I am sorry" she says again. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to be okay Harvey. You have no idea how worse it is to watch you give yourself up. It's not you!"

He doesn't know what to say so he keeps quiet.

"You always fought, for me, for Mike, for Marcus for everyone." she takes a deep breath "why don't you do it for yourself?"

"Because it's useless...I thought. I had given up hope, I didn't want to continue like this. A lawyer in a wheelchair who can't even attend outside meetings, it all seemed so pointless."

"you're speaking in the past tense?" She looks at him confused.

"yeah, like I told you last time, ever since we went to Disneyland I've realized that I want my life back - with or without a wheelchair. I will do anythingit takes to walk again but I want my life back even if it'll never work out." He says honestly and looks directly in her eyes.

"You're really serious" says Donna amazed.

"I am"

"That's great, Harvey." They are silent for a few seconds.

"I'm really sorry I doubted you Harvey. I should've believed you"

"It's okay," he says "you kinda had a reason to not believing me." He says thinking about Mike's words.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine again I just ate something wrong" he says. "Okay"

… … …

"I just spoke to Rachel, they want to invite us to dinner tonight, are you in?" asks Donna.

"Sure" says Harvey.

"Great, I'll let her know you're coming, too."

Harvey realizes that Donna is watching him.

"what is it?" he asks her.

"nothing, l'm just glad you decided to live your life again" They both smile at each other.

"Me too" says Harvey.

Few days later

Harvey started to go to the firm again. He and Mike are working on a case together and they both noticed how much they missed working together.

Harvey notices how much he loves to be a lawyer and Mike noticed how different the last weeks, in fact months have been without Harvey.

"Hey Mike, what can I do for you. Is anything wrong with the case?" asks Harvey confused after opening the door and clearly not expecting Mike.

"No, that's done" Harvey nods.

"You know we just saw each other before, don't you think I deserve a little break?" he asks sarcastically.

"ha ha" says Mike "we need to talk" he says in a serious voice and walks in. "About what?"

"About Donna"

"Why, is she okay?" asks Harvey worried.

"yeah, she is, it's something else"

"Is it something we need alcohol for?" he asks him.

"I guess so" replies Mike.

After pouring themselves scotch, they sit down on the sofa.

Harvey almost manages to change from the sofa to the wheelchair or bed by himself on his own. It won't take that long anymore and his arm muscles will be as good as they used to be and he's very happy about it. Soon he won't need a nurse at all, he hopes.

"So" says Harvey looking at Mike "what about Donna?" he asks reaching for his scotch glass.

Mike takes a deep breath and says, "I'm just gonna say it. You have to tell her how you feel about her" he says, looking at him. Harvey chokes on the liquid and coughs.

"what?" he asks clearly not expecting what he just heard.

"Don't even try to deny it, it's useless"

"Mike, I really have no idea..."

"stop it Harvey, I said it's useless. I see the way you look at her, especially the last time you were with us, that's when I got it, you finally got it - You love her and you need to tell her. I never said anything because l respected your decision and thought it was better not to get involved... but I saw how bad Donna was when you were in the coma and I see the way you look at each other."

"Mike"

"No Harvey. I care about you, both of you and I can't keep watching the two of you hurting each other. Every time the other goes on a date, don't you think I noticed how it bothered you when she was dating Huntely? Or how it bothered her when you and Scottie tried it out together? Damn, you had panic attacks when she went to work for Louis."

"That doesn't mean I..."

"Yes, Harvey" he interrupts him "yes, that's exactly what it means. When you thought you were dying, she was the only one you could think of. You wanted me to promise you I'll take care of her and make sure shell be okay" "I also said it about Rachel and Lucy" Harvey shoots at him. "Yeah, that's right and I really apriciated that zou that about them in those minutes… but your look when you spoke about Donna was completely else"

Harvey realizes that denial is futile and decides to go with the truth.

"I can't tell her Mike, not now. It's too late" he says in a low voice taking another sip from his scotch.

"why not" asks Mike softly.

"Really? you're seriously asking me that now?" asks Harvey sourly.

"That's why!" he says angrily, pointing to his legs

"I'm a cripple… I can do barely nothing by myself… I…"

Harvey's breathing quickens. He pauses to collect himself "I'm not gonna do that to her," he says quietly.

"You really think that'd bother her? Harvey she loves you. And what if it were the other way around, would it bother you? Would that be a reason for you not to be in a relationship with her?"

"No, of course not! I wouldn't care even if I had to carry her my whole life everywhere she'd want to go."

"Oh my god, you really got it! You want to be with her" says Mike not believing what he's hearing from him.

"I don't care! I won't do this to her. She deserves a carefree life, I can't offer her that anymore. And anyway, how d'you wanna know she loves me, huh?"

"Because I've been there the past few months Harvey. I've seen her. We had to make her go home and sleep when you were in a coma. If we hadn't wanted to see you from time to time or if visiting hours hadn't existed, she would've been 24/ 7 by your bedside." Harvey only looks at him. "Tell her Harvey. One day it'll be too late and I'm gonna tell you, you'll regret it!"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"They'll kill me… Rachel told me she's seeing someone" And for Harvey it feels like someone stabbed a knife in his heart.

"Goddamin it Mike" he says in a really mad tone. "And you want me to tell her? If she's ready to see someone it's pretty clear that she doesn't feel anything for me" he says in a half-hurt tone.

"Or it means that she tries to move on with her life instead waiting for you to get your head outa your ass" Mike points out.

"And I won't destroy it" he pauses a few seconds "I think you should go now" he says in a calm voice.

Mike nods and gets up "tell her Harvey, before it's too late."

"I can't. She could also tell me if she'd feel something instead of seeing someone else" Harvey says softly. "I can't and I won't."

… … …

At the same time

"Wow Donna, you look awesome" says Rachel when she sees her friend.

"Thank you" replies Donna with a smile. "Don't you think I'm too over-dressed for a date?"

'No, you are perfect" assures Rachel "If Thomas isn't in love with you yet, he'll sure be tonight" Then they come serious.

"Are you really sure about this Donna?"

"I am, I need to go on with my life Rachel, I can't wait and hope and pretend I am okay with it anymore. I mean I thought I was and I was the one who told him to never mention it again and that I wouldn't get involved with the men I work for. I can't blame him for nothing"

Thomas is a really good man and I think he can make me happy"

"But not as happy as Harvey would" Rachel points out"

"No" says Donna honestly "Great love is not meant for everyone. Some of us live with the love of our lives to the end, some will never know about it, and others will find it, but won't be able to live out. That's how life works, it's not fair but it's the truth."

Rachel nods

"You and Harvey have the chance Donna, you just need to tell each other. I mean everybody knows you love each other, it's only the two of you who don't realize that you belong together."

"Stop it Rachel, please. I've been looking forward to see Thomas tonight the whole last days and I don't wanna that feeling to go away. I really like him and I want to give it a shot." Says Donna

"I'm sorry, you're right. I just want you to be happy Donna. And if you think Thomas could make you happy then I'll respect your decision"

Than the door rings and Rachel opens it - it's Thomas.

"Hello Mr. Keller, I'm Rachel Zane, Donna'll be here in a minute"

They shake their hands and Thomas enters the room. They wait a few moments and then Donna enters the room.

"Donna" he says

"Hey Thomas, nice to see you"

"It's nice to see you too" he mumbles not knowing how to react "you- you look beatiful"

"Thank you" Donna says with a smile on her face.

Later in the evening

"Hey, you're back" says Rachel who wasn't expecting Mike that early. She goes over and gives him a kiss.

"Hey, yeah the case is almost done and I thought we could use some time together, now where Lucy has a sleepover.

"That's a great idea" Rachel says with a happy look on her face.

"Is something wrong, you look a distract?"

"No, everything is okay."

"Mike" says Rachel who doesn't believe him.

"Really, everything is fine, I just talked to Harvey about Donna and tried to convince him to tell her how he feels about her."

"What? How did he react?"

"He won't do it. He would if he weren't stuck in a wheelchair but he won't do it. I told him he should before it's too late but than he just get madder at me for expec…" Mike stops realizing that he just told her that Harvey knows about Thomas.

"Goddamn it Mika! You told him" she asks mad "I asked you not to, Donna doesn't want him to know, not yet"

"I am sorry, Rachel. I just- he's my friend and… after everything he's done for me I thought I owe him that. He should know and I wanted him to have the chance to tell her before ist too late. I just don't want him to regret it one day."

"so he admitted" asks Rachel surprised

"Yes, but he won't tell her"

"Why not?"

"First of all he thinks he'd be a burden to her and said that she deserves a carefree life. And then… he said when she's seeing someone it means that she doesn't have feelings for him."

"He's such an idiot" says Rachel

"She's only seeing him because she thinks he…"

"She admitted it, too?"

Rachel nods "yes"

"They're both idiots. We need to do something" says Mike

"No Mike, Donna just started to let go of him and she deserves that. I won't let him hurt her any further."

"Rachel, she was the one who told him to get it outa their heads and to never mention it again. And she told him that she doesn't get involved with men she works with. How could he ever tell her?"

"It's years ago, Mike"

"That doesn't matter. She never took it back"

"Mike, she…. Wait, you know about them?" She asks in astonishment.

"Yes, you too?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" asks Rachel

"Because I promised Harvey and it wasn't my secret and why didn't you tell me?"

She smiles "Same reason. I can't believe Harvey told you. When?"

"When I went to him back then to apologize about Anita Gibbs and wanted to ask him if we could celebrate our wedding at his place.

I was just joking about him and Donna and eventually I saw from his reaction that there must have been something. He tried, but couldn't deny it.

So you think we shouldn't get involved any further?"

Rachel nods

… … …

Thank you for readin! Reviews are always welcome.

See you in the next chapter. Have a nice time!