Four friends have a get-together, and talk about what's been going on in their lives.

Some are coping better than others.

Maturity

"And I was the MVP! They were all thinkin' it, so they promoted me!"

Today was nice and hot; just right for an outdoor barbecue, and Joran said he had something to tell them all, so he'd invited them all over! It was great to finally be hanging out again, just the four of 'em. When was the last time they'd got together like this?

"Woo! Nice going, bud!" Eunie cheered, pumping her fist into the air.

Noah smiled and held his glass forward, prompting the others to follow up. "They're unstoppable with you around, Lanz!"

Joran nodded, and all four of them clinked. "You've really climbed the ladder, haven't you?"

"Tell me about it! It feels great to make a difference." Lanz laughed. "'Course, the pay doesn't hurt either."

Ogre power frames had been a big hit over the years; they'd been used in the Defence Forces—obviously—to help with carrying heavier arms and more supplies; but they made civilian construction go smoother than an oily caterpile too.

But that all started years ago, so it wasn't much to do with the most recent promotion; that was 'cause of how he'd come up with and scraped together a prototype for something he called a 'mechafriend', and old Valdi loved it; said he couldn't believe he didn't come up with it himself! A friendly little domestic mechon for doing household duties, and cute little dances! It turned out people really enjoyed that!

"So how about you, Joran?" Lanz asked, grinning. "What did'ya drag us all out here for? Obviously not to hear me yammer about my job."

"Well…" He looked nervous and excited at the same time, with a smile he almost tried to hide. "Me and Garvel finally got engaged!"

Everybody's eyes widened, and they offered 'whoas' and 'congratulations', and 'finally's. Lanz didn't wanna sound like a total spoon, so he didn't say what he was thinking: Wait, what? I thought they'd tied the knot already! There was that fancy trip to Frontier Village… Or was that just a holiday? Who waits ten years?!

Eunie squee-d excitedly, and pulled Joran into a tight, not quite bone-crushing hug. "Ahh! I'm so happy for the two of you! Jealous as fuck, but happy!"

"Jealous?" Joran chuckled as Eunie released him from her iron grip. "Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but you never stood much of a chance—I don't think Garvel is all that into women!"

Eunie rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. You know what I mean! All my friends have gotten hitched!" She pouted. "And half of 'em are even havin' babies! When am I gonna snuffin' get one?"

They'd all learned to ignore the weird minced swears that came outta Eunie; she still sounded just as foul-mouthed with them as with real ones, and the 'Eunie-isms' had spread to them too a bit anyway. So instead of pointing that out, Lanz poked fun at something else, "There she goes again with the baby fever! The clock is tickin' as always, eh?"

"Oi, shut it you! Babies are cute, and you know it! They've got them squishy, pinchable cheeks, and they make all those silly little babbly noises! And their tiny little hands…" she whined, clearly fantasizing again about being a mum.

"I bet you'd change your tune when they start grabbin' at your wings."

Eunie held her head up, speaking in her fanciest, most serious and queenly voice, "I am prepared to make necessary sacrifices for a greater good. Like cuteness."

"Is that really true though, about 'all your friends'?" Joran asked. "Noah and Lanz are single too." Even though Layla wasn't with anyone either, he carefully kept his mouth shut about her, Lanz noticed. They all knew not to pick on that scab.

"Well yeah, but I mean everyone else! Even Easel got engaged a month ago," she sighed.

"Really?" Joran raised a curious eyebrow. "To who?"

"Some lass called 'Ashera'. I haven't met her, but all I know is she's tall, dark, pretty, and has a voice that makes Easel 'need to carry around a bucket and mop'." Eunie took a sip of her drink. "Her words, not mine."

Noah spoke up with a smile on his face, swirling his glass, "Well, if you're feeling left out, Eunie, you and I could always get together and settle down!"

She chuckled half-heartedly, and avoided making eye contact. "Oi, don't even joke, arsehole…" Her wings subtly furled up. "Can you even imagine?!"

Noah laughed—followed by everyone else—playing it off as a joke, but Lanz couldn't help wincing. Joran and Eunie quickly got real quiet too. Only sound was the sizzling barbecue.

He wouldn't be surprised if Noah actually meant it; he… wasn't in a good place right now. Nobody mentioned it, but he'd stopped taking care of himself, or his home. His eyes lost the spark they used to have, and his hair got messier and messier… Lanz wouldn't be surprised if he just gave up on even tying it up soon. Actually, he'd seen Noah with it undone like that once; sent chills down his spine, and Eunie's.

Even when he smiled once in a while, it was obviously an act. He tried to pretend he was alright, but he really wasn't… Lanz wished he could do something about it, but he didn't have a clue what. Man needed therapy or something. Or a hobby that wasn't anything to do with his work—like how Lanz had his workouts and hoop-ball team…

He nodded to himself. His mind was made up—he'd talk to Noah tomorrow, get things sorted out. In the meantime…

"D'ya think the Ardun burgers are done yet? I'm dyin' for more than this salad and cheese slices. No offence, Joran."

"Hah! Hear that Noah? Lanz wants something a bit meatier!"

Lanz and Noah looked at each other and laughed. They'd heard that one a million times before… Right? At some point they must've, Lanz was sure. Joran mustn't have been there for it though, 'cause he just looked baffled.

Eunie pulled into Noah's driveway, with Noah sitting in the passenger side. He was too drunk to drive, while Eunie herself was just a bit buzzed; got her mum's liver so she did.

After turning the engine off, darkness surrounded them, before she flipped the interior light on. She undid her belt, prepared to have to get up and let him hang off her shoulder to help him inside.

His eyes were shut, and breathing was light. She reached out and nudged his shoulder gently. "We're here. You awake, bud?" she asked, all hushed-like. If he'd fallen asleep… she didn't know if she should wake him up, or just go back to her place and let him sleep it off in the automobile.

He didn't move, or open his eyes. She sighed, flopping her head back on the headrest, wings extending through the specially made gaps near the top.

What the hell was that earlier? That stupid, stupid joke. Only she didn't even know if it was a joke—could go either way with Noah lately. He'd been getting way too clingy, like he didn't have any life inside him, and needed someone else to keep going on; but even when he was with them, he still smiled like he believed he should be happy, and was trying to convince himself he was.

Seeing her best friend turn into a ghost before her eyes made her heart ache. The light in his eyes was gone, and she'd never seen him like this when they were younger…but it felt too fucking familiar, in the worst way ever.

And it didn't help that it reminded her of how she felt. Alone, even with all the friends she could ask for. Curling up with her scarf at home and crying, wondering if she'd ever get the love she'd lost back. If this was what growing up meant, it fucking sucked arse.

Turning again, she saw he hadn't moved. She gave him another quick poke, but still nothing.

Okay, decision made, she was going home, and letting him sleep it off. Not the comfiest place, especially for a Homs using Entia headrests, but if he'd dozed off already, didn't really matter did it?

Moving to put her belt back on, she was interrupted when Noah suddenly spoke: "It's okay, I'm awake…just thinking."

She looked at him, and saw his eyes finally open, and head rolling over to face her.

He looked at her with an unsettling smile—the realest smile she'd seen from him in years, but it still looked more like he was hoping against hope for something, than actually feeling joy.

"Hey, Eunie? Let's really do it. Let's get married."

Blood turned to ice, and her wings went still. This was too serious—way too serious. "Noah…"

"We've known each other all our lives. We've always been best friends, there for each other…" His hand reached over, touching her arm and lightly grasping it. She didn't have it in her to stop him as he trailed it up towards her cheek. "We'd be good for each other, wouldn't we? Wouldn't have to be alone anymore… We can have that family you've always wanted…"

"Noah, don't." He didn't know what he was saying.

He looked hurt, and desperate. "Why not?"

She gripped the steering wheel, hard. "Because you don't mean it!" she said, a little louder than she'd wanted to; she felt guilty about the way it made him recoil.

"E-Eunie, of course I…"

"I know you're lonely, Noah. So am I." Every word stung her throat, and looked like it was stinging him too. "But you don't really love me, not like that."

His eyes lost the brief, tiny spark they had a moment ago, and his desperate smile was gone. "But… No, I…"

"Even if you really did"—you don't—"it still wouldn't work." She took a deep breath to brace herself. "Because you're gonna die, Noah."

There it was. Now she was on the other side of that phrase, and it felt almost as shitty. "You're a Homs, and I've got a lot of Entia in me. You'll get old and I won't, and then you'll die on me. It's already gonna be fucking bad enough when I lose my best bud, and I don't want— I can't lose a…"

She lost her words, and water formed in her eyes. She saw understanding show up on his face before she turned away, unable to bear looking at him.

He whispered, "Is that why…?"

"Yes that's why me and fuckin' Layla broke up!" She couldn't stop the tears streaming down her face any more.

Layla couldn't handle it; she'd live for thousands of years, and Eunie would maybe hit 150. She literally got on her knees and pleaded to stay with her, but Layla said she couldn't bear getting so close to someone, just to lose them… Eunie could remember grabbing onto her legs and all…

"I… I'm sorry, Eunie…"

She broke down into sobs. "I can't remember how many fucking times I've thought about bangin' on her door, and beggin' her to take me back… But she was right. I don't like it one snuffing bit, and if she'd have me back I'd be there in a heartbeat, but she was right. It's not fair for me to do that to her… And it's not fair for you to do that to me." Eunie let out a feeble chuckle. "'Least Garvel's gonna have it easy, lucky mudder. Wings like that mean he won't last much longer than Joran…"

Noah's seatbelt whirred open, and she felt him wrap his arms around her. She hugged him back; it felt good to let it out with someone. Well, in a way she'd 'let it out' with Noah already, back when the breakup happened; maybe that's why he even thought of her that way now; but that was a mistake she wouldn't be repeating—just the two of them being young and stupid.

Spark, now thinking about it made her wish she could still be young and stupid with Layla…

"I'm s-sorry, Eunie…" Noah gently wept into her shoulder. "I shouldn't have… I just… I miss…"

She shushed him, still crying with him. "I know, bud. I know how you feel."

He was going through the same thing, wasn't he? He'd even asked them all about it when they were younger; that something they couldn't place, but knew they were missing and wanted back. Going off the state of him, Noah was coping way worse with it than her, but it was the same thing, deep down. She couldn't just let him drown alone like this…

"Promise me," she sniffled, "that you'll talk to an expert on this 'feelings' stuff? Actually, forget promises, I'll call you someone, and you're gonna go, alright?"

He nodded against her. "Alright…"

The rattling sound of his doorbell rang out as he went inside.

With a weary body, and a weary mind worn down to scraps, he made his way to the couch, and fell back with a thump and a sigh.

Wasn't this a familiar moment? Like he'd lived it a thousand times before.

Setting his flute down on the table, He stared at his palms—empty, yet cold. Two decades now, he had been haunted by a yearning he couldn't understand, and even to the extent he believed he understood, he couldn't do anything about it. It gnawed away at him, chewing on his mind like a volff chewed a bone.

He leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. It felt like he was sinking into a void, drowning and reaching for anything he could grasp. So disconnected he was from life, that even his own home was unfamiliar and strange; it wasn't enough for him to hold onto reality.

It was that sparking tune; the tune that started in the distance years ago, and plucked at the strings of his heart, so harshly it felt like they would snap… It started all of this. He'd give up everything to find the player of that music—

"What music, Noah?"

He blinked, and looked back down at the therapist Eunie and Lanz called and booked an appointment for. But that wouldn't be for days now, right?

Now that he took another look around, this didn't look like his living room… When did he get here?