She was too tough to admit it to anyone, but when times sometimes got really rough, Hetty silently cried to herself.
She silently cried when Dom was killed, when Renko died, in the morgue after Hunter was blown up, and when Sam and Deeks were kidnapped.
But the morning of hearing that Granger had been poisoned and almost killed in a freak accident, she couldn't back the tears. She found a quiet place in the bathroom and cried actual tears.
'I can't lose him! Please God, please don't take him from me!' She pleaded.
After she was done crying, she washed her face the best she could and returned to her office, where she immediately informed Eric and Nell of what happened.
'Are you okay, Hetty?' Nell asked, seeing her boss's stone face.
'I'm fine, Miss Jones. If you excuse me, I prefer to not be disturbed unless it's important.' Hetty coldly replied.
That night after the mole was caught.
'Heading off to the hospital?' Nell asked.
'Yes. He should be waking up soon.' Hetty replied.
'Well, tell him we all wish him well. And also, it's okay to admit when you've been crying.'
Hetty was so stunned, she couldn't think of anything to say.
'I imagine that hearing about Granger must have been very hard to hear. Don't worry, I won't say a word. Just remember that, crying is nothing to be embarrassed about.'
'Sigh. I'm usually good at holding it in until I get home, but today, I just couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him.' Hetty meekly replied.
'And that's okay! Truth be told, it means you care about him.'
'I know, dear. I know. (sigh).'
Endnote: Yes, this is during Traitor.