Author's Note: TW for descriptions and mentions of self-harm, and blood. Please take care of yourself. You are loved!
Previous chapter summary: During a full moon, Harry has a nightmare and vision of Voldemort who is talking about the prophecy and wondering what connects him with Harry. Harry goes to Dumbledore, but it wasn't handled the best. Harry runs outside and is found by Padfoot and Moony who bring him back inside and comfort him. They decide to talk to Albus the next day and finally reveal things to Harry.
THIS CHAPTER Summary: Harry finds out.
About an hour later, Remus, Sirius, and Harry were all waiting at the door of Dumbledore's office.
"Come in," a voice called out. Remus opened the door and allowed Sirius and Harry to walk through before he followed them. Sirius and Remus sat down with Harry sandwiched in between them.
"Hello, boys. Did you have a nice morning?" Dumbledore asked.
"We did, thank you," Remus replied politely.
"Harry, I'm glad to see you're safe. You worried us last night."
"I'm sorry, Professor, er, Grandad. Whichever one you are," Harry apologized.
Dumbledore smiled at him. "It's alright. Just talk to us next time, yes?"
Harry nodded.
It was quiet for a moment (which was awkward for Harry) before Dumbledore cleared his throat and said, "Well. You're here because of what happened last night, correct?"
"I want to know more! I want to know what Voldemort is talking about and why he is in my head!" Harry said loudly, leaning forward.
Remus put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "Shh. Take some breaths," he murmured into Harry's ear so only he could hear it.
Harry settled down and leaned back in his chair.
"Er, yes. Now, Sirius and Remus, have you discussed this?"
"Tell him the truth, Albus, as gently as you can," Sirius said.
Albus eyed the three of them for a moment and then nodded. "Harry, are you sure you're ready?"
Harry looked up at the headmaster with his eyes on fire. "I have to know what I'm dealing with in order to defeat him."
A flicker of understanding, pride, and... sadness? went through Dumbledore's eyes before he gave a slight nod. "Indeed." Dumbledore shifted in his seat before he began.
"Harry, a prophecy was made and I know you are aware of most of it. Until you have mastered occlumency I don't feel comfortable revealing all of it to you, but I will share that yes, you have to defeat him. No one else can."
While Harry knew that he was always destined to fight Voldemort, it was a whole other ballgame to hear the words that no one else could beat him.
"Not even you, Sir?" Harry asked in a voice that seemed much smaller than him.
"I'm afraid not," Dumbledore replied with a sad smile.
Harry nodded and looked down before looking back up again and asking, "What else? Why is he so connected to me?"
Dumbledore seemed to almost grimace and Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Remus reached over and slipped his hand into Harry's.
Harry didn't have a good feeling about this.
"Harry," Dumbledore began. "You are aware that the spell cast upon you as a baby backfired and caused Voldemort to be a shell of a human."
Harry nodded.
"Voldemort stayed alive because of Horcruxes. Have you read about them at all?"
Harry shook his head.
"A Horcrux is a piece of a person's soul. They split their soul in half to make it. As long as the Horcrux is intact, the person is immortal. You have already come in contact with one of Tom's Horcruxes."
Harry thought for a moment. "The diary?" Harry questioned.
Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. When you stabbed the diary with the basilisk fang, the venom destroyed it. There are very few ways to destroy a Horcrux."
Harry seemed to absorb what Dumbledore was saying. "Wait, back up. Did you say one of his Horcruxes? He split his soul more than once?"
Dumbledore grimaced. "Yes. I believe he made seven."
"SEVEN!" Harry shouted, standing up. "There are SEVEN things he put his soul into? How do we destroy him without those?!"
"I have been doing lots of research on what they might be and where they are, but that is a conversation for another time," Dumbledore replied.
"Why are you telling me this? I mean I'm glad I know it, but I haven't been told anything, ever. How does this have to do with my nightmares and our connection?" Harry asked, confused.
"Harry," Dumbledore began gently, "when that spell backfired a piece of Voldemort's soul was once again broken off. It cast itself into the closest living thing and that was you."
There was a beat of silence. A terrible moment for all of the adults as Harry's eyes widened and his perception of his life and body forever changed.
"No. No," Harry breathed, "No. No! You're not serious? It can't be!" Harry's eyes darted between the three adults, hoping this was a nightmare and someone would tell him that he was wrong. "I have a piece of, of, him inside of me? I am a Horcrux?" Harry asked, his eyes full of tears.
"I'm afraid so," Dumbledore confirmed, nodding sadly.
"G-get him out! I mean, how can you get him out? You can get him out, can't you?" Harry asked, his breathing increasing rapidly as he tore his hand away from Remus.
"We are not currently sure how to remove it, Harry," Dumbledore said as gently as possible.
"I have to keep- this, this, this THING inside of me?" Harry asked loudly.
Dumbledore nodded.
"And THAT is why he has had such a connection with me?"
"I'm afraid so."
Harry sat back, shocked, before popping up and spinning around.
"YOU TWO! Did you KNOW about this?" Harry roared, his eyes full of tears.
"Only for a few months, Harry. We just found out," Sirius began pleadingly.
"You had just begun to struggle and it wasn't the best time-" Remus continued before Harry cut him off.
"TIME?!" Harry laughed coldly. "There's never a good time!"
Harry swirled back around and looked at Dumbledore with his eyes that had begun to leak tears. The gadgets on his desk began to move again. Remus noticed this and started to stand up, but Dumbledore put a hand up to stop him.
"Let me get this straight. I have a piece of the darkest wizard ever inside of me and that helps give him access to my brain and mind and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it?"
Dumbledore paused for just a second, but it was a second long enough for Harry's magic to explode. A pillow across the room exploded and gadgets went up in the air and started spinning wildly. Harry let out a yell before running out of the room, once again locking all doors behind him.
"That went as well as expected," Sirius said, running a hand through his hair.
"Sirius," Remus said tiredly. He knew it was how Sirius coped but he was so worried about Harry.
"I know, I know. We can floo out of here," Sirius said, standing up.
"I don't think that's an option," Dumbledore said, gesturing to the fireplace that went out.
"You're a wizard! Can't you just make another fire?" Sirius asked, becoming hysterical.
"Not until his magic dies down I'm afraid," Dumbledore answered truthfully.
"What if his life is in danger?" Remus asked.
"I have something that tells me of that. Nothing minor, mind you, but if his life is in danger it will."
"And where was this when he was at the Dursleys?" Sirius spat, pacing.
"Sirius!" Remus said sharply.
"It's alright. I had it put in place after. I had people check on him. I should've done more and I am forever sorry."
"We know. We're just worried," Remus replied.
"I understand. I am, too. While we are waiting, why don't we discuss the next steps, hm?"
"That sounds good," Remus replied.
"I guess we might as well," Sirius said before abruptly turning to Dumbledore. "Do you have anything I can destroy? Badly?"
"I never was particularly fond of that vase," Dumbledore said gesturing to a paisley vase on the other side of his office.
Remus knowingly cast a silencing charm around Sirius. Sirius turned and yelled as loud as he could before destroying the vase beyond recognition as he continually yelled, stopped, swore, and screamed. Eventually, Sirius waved his wand to clean up the mess, dusted himself off, and canceled the silencing charm Moony put up.
"Thank you," Sirius replied a bit hoarsely before sitting down.
Remus put his hand over Sirius' and gave it a gentle tap, reminding him he wasn't alone.
Remus and Sirius were not happy about Harry's accidental magic lashing out, but they both knew he needed space and if something drastic was to happen they could be there in a heartbeat. They had to trust that Harry wouldn't do anything too drastic.
Meanwhile, Harry was running through the hallways. He was overwhelmed but forcing himself to think somewhat clearly. He quickly adjusted his path to take the less traveled hallways. He hurried along the paths, not even feeling the tears silently slide down his face. He kept running and running until he knew his calm was fading and his anxiety and panic were taking over.
"Think, Potter, think," Harry muttered to himself as he looked around, trying to remember where he was. Once it hit him, Harry hurried down the hallway and through the secret passageway until he ended up in Honeyduke's cellar.
The people who own Honeydukes are on their yearly vacation, so no one was there, not that Harry even noticed. Harry felt his breathing increase and become quicker and quicker as tears fell down his face. His thoughts were spinning and not stopping. Harry looked around frantically at his surroundings before he saw it.
A knife was laying on top of the burlap sacks in the attic, most likely to tear the burlap open. Harry reached for it as fast as he could before taking it to his arm and sliding it down.
Harry, in his mental agony, pressed hard enough on the first slash not only to draw a considerable amount of blood but to cause enough relief to have him sigh audibly in relief.
He made a few more cuts, finally feeling his thoughts slow down enough and his breathing slow as well. When Harry finally looked at his arm, he was surprised at the amount of blood loss.
"Shit!" Harry swore, not intending to do that much damage. He looked around, trying to find something to slow the bleeding. He found some cloth and quickly grabbed that to press up against his arm, holding it tight. It didn't take long for the blood to slow down, thank goodness.
Harry let out a sigh of relief and cast a cleaning charm on the cloth and on his arm. He then took the knife to make a few more superficial cuts, but nothing to draw anything more than a few drops of blood.
Harry knew he couldn't think straight. He needed to calm his mind before he thought of anything else. After several more cuts, Harry felt his mind turn into a buzz. He relished the feeling and along with the pain in his arm, Harry realized he felt very tired. He settled in on the burlap sacks and laid his head down. All in all, he's had much worse to rest his head on and he would just nap for a moment.
Harry was half asleep when a thought popped into his head.
Why don't you just try to summon the Horcrux?
Harry, being the Gryffindor he was, did just that.
"Accio, Horcrux," Harry said, pointing his wand at him.
Nothing.
"Accio, Horcrux!" Harry tried again, a bit louder this time.
Still nothing.
Harry sighed and thought about the Horcrux. Where would it be?
Harry had a thought and pointed the wand at his forehead, only a couple of inches away from his skin. "Accio, Horcrux!" Harry said loudly with as much energy as he could muster.
Harry felt like his forehead was splitting apart and he felt blood drip down his face before he succumbed to darkness.
Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore, on the other hand, were discussing Harry and how to help him cope with this life-changing news. Slowly, the fire starts to rise back up and Sirius sits up, alert.
"What does that mean?" He asked, looking around.
"It means he is calming down enough for you to leave," Albus answered patiently.
"I sure hope it's because of his breathing exercises," Remus muttered as he and Sirius grabbed some floo powder.
"Unfortunately, Moony, I doubt that," Sirius said apologetically.
Remus grimaced and with a throw of floo powder they were back in their quarters. Sirius was the quickest and rushed out to grab the map. While Remus was waiting for Sirius he grabbed the first aid kit and shrunk it to put it in his pocket. Sirius activated the map as he went back out to Remus and they looked at it together.
"I don't see him!" Sirius whined.
"Stay calm. Keep looking," Remus said calmly, being the voice of reason. However, that panic began to bloom in Remus' stomach when they also couldn't see Harry on the map.
"Moony!" Sirius whined again after a minute.
"Okay, okay," Remus said calmly, thinking. "I'll check the passageways. You keep looking on the map. There are hundreds of people we are looking at and he could be mixed in. If you see him, send me a Patronus, alright?"
Sirius didn't love this idea but nodded reluctantly. He knew that if someone had to find him, Remus would do better with his healer training.
Remus went off to check the passageways for any sign of Harry as Sirius kept checking the map.
Remus had checked two of their secret passageways, not finding any evidence, before a silver dog came up to him. Remus eagerly said the password and Sirius' voice rang out saying, "Honeydukes!"
Remus broke into a run on his way to the passageway. He hurried there and when he managed to make his way in, Harry was lying there, blood everywhere. Remus at first thought it was from his arms, but they seemed pretty well cleaned up. He wiped away some blood from his face and realized it was coming from his head. Remus quickly cast a cleansing charm on his forehead. the bleeding had slowed but hadn't fully stopped. Remus pulled out the first aid kit and enlarged it before grabbing gauze to put up against his wound and wrap it around his head. Remus then turned to his arms. He spent a bit more time on those since he could heal them before wrapping them up. Remus then sent a Patronus to Sirius and Albus letting them know that he found Harry. Remus also sent one to Poppy. He didn't want to handle a head injury on his own. He also knew that Harry would hate it if Poppy saw his arms, but Remus knew that she probably would. He hated that for Harry, but he had to get his head looked at and if any healer was going to look at Harry, it was going to be Poppy.
Remus carefully levitated Harry out of the attic and back down into Hogwarts before casting a disillusionment charm on him and carrying him in his arms to the hospital wing. He took the disillusionment charm off of him as they arrived and Poppy rushed toward them.
"Remus! What happened!" She asked, hurrying towards him.
Remus set Harry down on "his" bed. "I found him like this. I handled his head wound the best I could, but I need you to look over it for me to feel better."
"Of course! Are there any other?" She asked as she summoned some potions.
"Let's not worry about that right now," Lupin said lowly. "We also should get a divider. It's a lot, Poppy."
Poppy's face had a flash of emotion before returning to her mediwitch face. "Alright, thank you. Please go sit. I have work to do."
"Poppy, I'm not leaving him," Remus said. He had a gentle tone, but the fierceness in his voice was very thinly veiled and Poppy knew that.
She looked up at him and sighed. "Alright, but please stay out of my way. And make sure Black doesn't get in my way, alright?" She asked knowingly.
"I promise," Remus said as he sat down and watched Poppy tend to his son.
Not even a minute later, Draco Malfoy came up. "Madame Pomfrey, I finished, what can I-" he cut off when he saw Harry in the bed.
"Is he alright?" Draco asked immediately, his eyes stuck on his friend.
"He'll be fine. Can you handle this?" Madame Pomfrey asked.
Draco nodded and tore his eyes off of Harry to look at Madame Pomfrey. "Yes, Ma'am."
"Good. Now, go get me two blood replenishers and a pain potion. I'll also need some more skin salve."
"Yes, Madame Pomfrey," Draco said as he hurried away.
Sirius came in now, running. "Remus! Remus, is he okay?!"
Poppy sighed. It never was quiet with the marauders. "Mr. Black, you're lucky no one is in here! Move the dividers and sit down!" She ordered sharply.
If anything, that reassured Sirius. When it was too serious, she wouldn't respond to any distractions. And Remus wasn't helping her with the wounds and she still had time to admonish him, so that was a good thing.
Sirius moved the dividers to hide Harry and took a seat next to Remus, grabbing his hand. "How is he?" he asked quieter.
"What's happened before has happened again," Remus confirmed quietly.
"Bugger," Sirius spat quietly, looking away. "What about his head?"
"I don't know. His scar was split and bleeding. I don't know what happened. It didn't seem self-inflicted, but I didn't know what else could've happened, either," Remus asked honestly.
"We'll ask him when he wakes up, then," Sirius responded determinedly.
Remus sighed and squeezed Sirius' hand. "If he talks to us."
"He'll be angry, Remus, but not forever. Especially not with us. Besides, we're his parents. He can't ignore us forever," Sirius said, shaking his head.
"Look at the both of us," Remus pointed out.
Sirius paused. "Okay, true, but we're relentless!" Sirius smiled cheekily.
Remus could appreciate Sirius' humor now. Now that they knew Harry wasn't in a life-threatening situation, it was easier to smile at his jokes.
Draco returned now with the items Poppy asked for and she had him set them down before saying, "Draco, I need you to assess him for any other abrasions you may see."
Remus and Sirius exchanged a worried look and Remus stood up, "Poppy, he has some abrasions. I tended to them."
Poppy Pomfrey looked up from her work with a confused expression. "Mr. Lupin, are you insinuating that my care is not good enough?"
"NO! Not at all, it's just that these cuts are-" Remus sighed, not knowing what to say.
Understanding dawned on Draco's face now. "I got it, Professor Lupin. It's alright."
Remus nodded and sat down, putting his hand back in Sirius'. Poppy seemed confused but went back to work.
Draco cleaned some of the extra blood off of Harry and when he got to his left forearm he saw that it was wrapped and his heart broke for him. Draco paused for a moment before tucking his arm back under the blankets, but it was enough for Poppy to see his wrapped arm again and make the connection.
"I see," She murmured, feeling a pit in her stomach. She once again looked up from her work. "Were you two aware of this?"
"Yes. It was getting much better. He hadn't relapsed in months. We found out about some, uh, disturbing information today from Albus. His accidental magic kept us away," Remus explained.
"And does it have to do with this head wound?" Poppy asked, turning back to her work. Draco was handing her the salves and bandages as she was finishing up.
Remus and Sirius were quiet, not sure how to answer it before Sirius had an idea. "Poppy, do you remember doing your diagnostic on Harry and something was always wonky with his scar?"
"Of course."
"Can you do it and tell us if it is still there?"
"Absolutely. Let me finish bandaging it up and I'll do it. It was my next step, anyway."
About a minute later, Poppy had her wand out to do a diagnostic charm. She waved her wand and then gave a nod. "Yes, it is still there."
"Bugger," Sirius spat. Remus squeezed his hand.
"Why? What's going on?" Poppy asked, standing up tall and putting her hands on her hips.
Remus and Sirius once again exchanged looks before Sirius spoke up and said, "We'd love to tell you, but it's up to Dumbledore. We can't without his permission."
Poppy wanted to argue, but even she knew that some war secrets were too big to be told. "I understand. We can discuss this with him later."
While the adults were talking, Draco waved his wand to do a diagnostic charm on Harry's head. It wasn't a full one or had as much power as Poppy's, but Draco was proud he was able to do a minor one.
"Huh," Draco thought out loud, getting the attention of the adults. "The magic around his forehead- his scar, really,- is dark and rather unique."
"Draco, please be careful with that," Remus said, standing up and putting a hand out cautiously.
"I will. I've seen this energy and magic before," Draco said nonchalantly.
"You have?" Sirius asked, astounded.
"Yeah. My house had loads of dark magic. Dobby used to entertain me by showing me the magical aura of items in our house. We had a book that had this energy once. One time Dobby even did it from afar to Nagini and she had that same aura. Dobby never got caught for that, either," Draco said, smiling before he put his wand down.
Sirius had to admit that he has seen magical auras similar to that as well in the Black homes, especially Grimmauld Place.
"Mr. Malfoy," a voice rang out. Everyone's head turned and Dumbledore had come upon them.
"Yes, Sir?" Draco asked, a bit hesitant.
"You are not in trouble, my boy. I am merely intrigued by your descriptions of the magical auras. Would you mind if I borrow you to ask about an item I have in my office? I will bring Professor Snape along as well."
"Sure, Professor," Draco agreed. He looked to Madame Pomfrey for confirmation and she gave him a nod.
"Gentlemen, Poppy, I will return," Dumbledore said, inclining his head.
They all nodded and then Poppy went back to smooth over the nonexistent wrinkles on Harry's bed. "That man is a riddle, I swear to Merlin," she mumbled.
Sirius and Remus held back a chuckle and Poppy turned to them. "I've healed his head. He won't have a scar as it seemed to come from his existing scar. His magical levels are low as well. He should wake up in a few hours- now that he's had some potions. I'll keep him overnight, but if all goes well then he should be out by tomorrow."
"Thank you, Poppy," Remus said gratefully, giving her a warm smile.
"Of course," she replied. Her smile faltered for a moment and she took a step closer, lowering her voice. "If there's anything I can do for you both and Harry, you just let me know. He obviously doesn't want people to find out, but I am here to help in any way."
Remus reached out and gave her hand a squeeze and Sirius smiled and said, "Thank you, Poppy. We appreciate you."
"Of course. I'll get to some paperwork, but just call if you need anything," she said as she bustled away with eyes that seemed suspiciously full of tears.
Remus and Lupin stayed by Harry. They sometimes talked to each other and sometimes sat in silence, but didn't leave his side.
Meanwhile, Albus had Draco and Severus in his office. Albus had pulled out Tom's diary and said, "Can you tell me what type of magic this gives off?"
"I can't really do the spell on objects," Draco admitted, blushing. "Only people, but I can get someone who can."
Without missing a beat, Draco called out, "Dobby!"
Dobby came in a pop. "What can I do for my old young master and friend of Harry Potter?!" Dobby asked eagerly.
Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Dobby was, of course, fiercely loyal to Harry and now that Draco was his friend, Dobby was excited and happy to help him out with anything as well.
"Dobby, do you remember when I was young and you'd show me the magical aura on items?"
"Oh yes!" Dobby squealed. "Me loved entertaining young master Draco with that game!"
Draco gave the happy house elf a smile. "It was fun. Can you do it again on this item?" Draco asked, gesturing to the diary.
"Oh yes! Me remembers this item!" Dobby said, putting his hands out.
Draco examined the magical aura before nodding and saying, "It was the same, Professor. It's mostly gone now. There is a boundary, but the aura isn't full like it used to be."
Dumbledore hummed, thinking. He put his hands behind his back and paced a few steps before turning back around and walking back. "And what about the mark?"
"I beg your pardon!" Snape gasped.
"Severus, Draco has seen the mark, hasn't he?" Dumbledore asked pointedly.
"Well, yes," Severus stammered.
"And you don't have an issue with it, correct?"
"Well, yes," Severus stammered again, this time with more force.
"Splendid! Then we're all in agreement. Severus, if you don't mind," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling despite the severity of the situation.
"His dang eyes twinkle when he manages to talk circles around people," Severus mumbled to Draco as he unbuttoned his sleeve. "Don't let anyone convince you otherwise,"
Draco held back a snicker and Severus pulled his sleeve up, feeling a bit exposed.
"Dobby, would you mind telling us about the aura you see around this mark?" Dumbledore asked kindly.
"Certainly! Anything for Master Dumbleydore!" Dobby squeaked, turning his attention to Severus' forearm.
Draco watched as the magic aura came about and the 5th year thought out loud. "It's similar to Harry's scar and what was the diary. It's not quite the same though. But the magical signature seems to be the same."
Snape's head snapped up and he looked at Draco, his eyes sharpening. "You can see the magical signature in the auras?"
"Uh, yes," Draco said, not sure if this was good or bad.
Snape looked to Dumbledore and the headmaster nodded approvingly. "That is really quite impressive. I didn't know you had that talent. It's quite rare, Mr. Malfoy."
"Wait, really?" Draco asked, his mind reeling.
"It is," Severus confirmed, giving his godson an appraising look.
"Cool," Draco said, in his own mind before coming back to the present.
"That will be all, Dobby. Thank you for your assistance," Dumbledore said, smiling at the house elf.
"Of course! Call Dobby anytime you need anything! Thanks you!" Dobby cried with excitement before popping away.
"House elves give me a headache," Severus grumbled as he pulled his sleeve down.
"Ah, but you can't fault him for his positive energy and intentions," Dumbledore smiled.
Severus just rolled his eyes.
"Mr. Malfoy, you have been an enormous help, thank you," Dumbledore said, turning to Draco and giving him a smile now. "You may return to your dormitory now."
"Thank you, Professor," Draco said, but seemed to be a bit hesitant.
"What is it, Draco?" Severus asked, immediately picking up on his godson's energy.
"Uhm, Sir?" Draco asked. "Is it possible if I stay with you tonight? I just don't want to be alone. That's all." Draco half-mumbled, shifting his weight between both legs. "It's okay if not, though! I'll understand! I'll head to the dorms!" Draco said quickly, inwardly cursing himself for giving in to his emotions.
"Mr. Malfoy," Snape said sternly, causing Draco to freeze and turn towards the potion master.
"Yes Sir?" Draco responded quietly.
"Of course, you may. I will be there soon. Please make yourself comfortable," Severus said, giving his godson a small smile.
"Thank you, Uncle Sev!" Draco replied with a large smile on his face before he practically skipped out of the office, not caring he looked like a Hufflepuff.
Dumbledore gave Severus a rather annoying look and when the door was shut Severus quickly snapped, "Don't you start with me, old man. I am as stern as I have ever been."
Dumbledore's beard twitched rather suspiciously, but he just held his hands up and shook his head. "I won't say anything."
"Bloody Gryffindors," Snape muttered, shaking his head now. "What am I going to do with all of them?"
Alternatives to Harming Yourself:
1. Talk to someone you care about and/or trust
2. Exercise
3. Get outside and get some fresh air
4. Have a warm beverage
5. Write something down
6. Go to therapy/ contact your therapist
7. Be with your pet or another animal
8. Take a nap
9. Play or fiddle with a fidget
10. Do something artistic (draw, paint, use clay, play-doh, fingerpaint, etc)
11. Play a game
12. Bake or cook something you like to eat
13. Mindfulness, breathing exercises, meditation (variety of strategies including naming something of each color of the rainbow, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 with your senses, box breathing, rainbow breathing, 5 finger breathing, etc)