Saturday, May 1st

For the first time since December, Akira got a good rest. It wasn't a rest where the next morning he'd dread what came with it, it was a sincere rest where he could close his eyes a momentarily peaceful man, and wake up still being one.

Though, the sounds of Ryuji raging at something wasn't peaceful.

Comedic? Sure.

Peaceful? Hell no.

Akira could feel the harshly cold tile layered on the floor attempting to fuse with his face, although his vision was blurry he could at least tell he made the ground behind the couch facing the TV his bed. Something akin to a death rattle came from his lips as he struggled to get up, with a line of drool connecting to the floor, Morgana was the first to notice, "Oh, he's finally up Ryuji."

Akira had a bit of a slur in his voice, "What the hell did we do last night…? Why am I on the floor…?" He latched onto the couch, barely holding himself up.

Ryuji was the first to answer, "Oh, so after the whole Brawlerz battles, you were hella sleep deprived so you decided to…how do I put this…create a weird mixture between a bunch of coffee and candy."

Realization dawned on his face, "Ohhh…I made the Hotaru-Special…shit."

"You said it was the first time you ever tried makin' it. I think you tried callin' your uncle to ask how it went, but he didn't pick up so you just said 'eff it."

The memories were slowly reforming in his head, "Oh. Either I did it right and couldn't handle it…or I did it wrong and screwed up my body. Nice."

"Oh, right, after you crashed I uh…used my patented Sakamoto rejuvenation method."

"Why does that oddly sound like a hangover remedy?"

"'Cause, it is. I used it on my old man, a lot. Anyway, it did wake you up but you started violently pukin' over the toilet and passed out there. Mona didn't want you to wakin' up to your puke so I moved you to the floor."

Mona waved his phone in front of his brother, a toothy grin snitched on his face, "I took pictures by the way."

"You're an annoying piece of shit, I hope you know that."

"That's what younger brothers are good for." His grin was beaming.

"W-Wait, why the hell did I get the floor?! Why not the couch?! Or my room!?"

Ryuji returned his attention to Realm Sentiments Three but pointed towards Morgana, "Blame your brother, not me." Akira gathered he was attempting a level-one Kingdom Key run on the hardest difficulty.

Huh. Explains the rage.

Akira waved a hand, "I'm going to take a shower…I feel dirty as hell."

Morgana chuckled as he focused his attention back on Ryuji, who had died and sat silently with his controller subtly slipping from his grip.

A hot shower as the first thing in the morning was something Akira always had a love for. Besides it being a fresher from crashing and puking, it was a rather relaxing time he could use to just empty his brain.

Time for another tried and true Akira Kurusu emptying session.

Let's see…what can we start with now…

Oh, okay it's been a minute, how about my bad luck to good luck ratio?

Hm…last time, it was -21 to 18.

Okay, so…we have Kamoshida's downfall, Shiho's phone, Iwai helping us, Makoto giving the phones to her cousin, us getting into his apartment successfully, his phone and…that's it? I think that's it.

So that tallies up to 24. Oh, now we're in the positives?

For now, at least.

Bad luck…seeing Kamoshida naked, seeing all of his conquests…Sojiro appearing, meeting Takemi last Sunday, crashing, and puking last night, having Ryuji over—wait, is that a good thing too? Oh, screw it, I'll add it to both.

Continuing on…we have me encountering Sae Niijima…and Makoto admitting she can't trust me. She…probably never trusted me.

Akira shook his head as the showerhead pelted his head with droplets, Come on. Remember what Iwai and Ryuji said! Hell, remember what I said last Thursday! This was bound to happen. We're both returning to our original societal positions. Kamoshida was an abnormality that caused us to work together.

'Work' my ass, that's a pile of shit. Better yet, we just had similar goals. That's all.

Anyway…the ratio should be…-30 to 25.

Aw crap, I thought the ratio would be positive today…

A little dejected, Akira hopped out of the shower with nothing but one towel covering himself and another resting atop his head. At first, he was on a path towards his room, but he heard Ryuji telling a story, surprisingly, to Morgana.

"So, you see, I grabbed the Black Destroyer, and I started whippin' him with it. But it was dipped in honey or some shit, so the more and more I kept hittin' his ass, it kept lookin' more like a porno—"

"Ryuji." Akira slipped out from the hallway, staring at the blonde with his very own version of Makoto's terror stare.

Maybe I should name it, 'The Kurusu Extinction Stare'?

K.E.S?

That sounds stupid.

Ryuji somehow located Akira's eyes amongst all the wet hair dropping in his face, "What? You never wanted to hear the story!"

"And, for good reason. Besides your stories are questionable now since you—"

"Shaddup! I get it, alright!?"

Akira snickered for a bit as he went to throw on some clothes, coming back out as a realization dawned upon him.

Taking a sip of water, he spoke, "Don't you think it's funny how our entire plan technically hinged on Kamoshida being a cocky idiot and not reporting his phone?"

Ryuji threw the controller into the cushion, "You mean your plan was based around it. Plus, the dude wasn't as smart as he thought. Probably thought with our expulsions it wouldn't matter and that he'd find it eventually. Ya know, cockiness and all that."

Mona chuckled, "You do have to admit, Ryuji, it's really just amazing luck. Kinda like we're in a show or novel or something and the writer was so obsessed with making this elaborate or cool moment that they forgot about logical progression."

Akira followed in his brother's steps, "If this was a novel, that would be a fourth wall break, wouldn't it?"

"Speaking of novels, ain't this around the time where the heroes talk about their backstories?"

Both Kurusu brothers gave Ryuji the cold shoulder, to which he threw his hands into the air, "C'mon! I've been waitin', like, a month for y'all to say somethin'!"

Akira sneered, "Well, why don't you tell me why you dyed your hair? Kawakami went on about how your hair used to look grand!"

Ryuji rubbed his hair, "Wait what? She really said that?!"

Morgana snickered as he typed away at his phone, "No, you dumbass."

Ryuji didn't even have the energy to rebuttal, turning his head to Akira, "You really wanna know?"

He shrugged, "You're getting your ass ate in Realm Sentiments, so why not?"

Ryuji flipped him off, "Haha. You'd get your ass beat doin' this challenge run too!"

Cocking an eyebrow, Akira challenged that statement, "You deadass right now?"

He narrowed his eyes, "I'm for real." Ryuji threw the controller to its rightful owner as he began his blond origin story.

"Lemme see...it was during the first round at Nationals. You guys just finished your battle against St. Hermelin. We were going against Kitano. In the space between our battles and shit, we were all just hanging out. Ann went off to go get some food and she stumbled into some of y'all auxiliary."

Morgana instantly stopped typing on his phone, taking a wince as the puzzle pieces slowly started to connect in his head. He peered at Akira, his attention deadlocked on RS3. It seemed, for the first time, he missed something.

Ryuji slouched into the couch, "Uh...I forgot to ask her about some sour candy, so I ran after her. By the time I got there...she was gettin' chewed out by this one girl, I think she mighta been your dancer captain or somethin'? She had brown hair and...just wouldn't let Ann buy anythin', or even get to the booth. I remember her sayin', 'Didya dye your hair to make people focus on you instead of your shit dancing?'"

Morgana shuffled deeper in his seat as he noticed Akira paused the game. He locked eyes with his older brother.

Akira's mouth loosened a bit, Oh my god. You don't think…?

Morgana gave him a reluctant look, Brown hair? At Kyoto? That sounds just like her…

Ryuji cleared his throat, "Uh, you two got somethin' you wanna share with me?"

"Well, that girl-"

As always with his pinpoint aim, Akira threw a pillow at his younger brother, immediately waving his hands up, "N-nothing Ryuji! Continue on!"

Ryuji narrowed his eyes in suspicion but nevertheless continued, "Well, after that I got really pissed. Then once we lost, I sat in a few things durin' winter break."

Akira chuckled, "So like everything else, it was because of Ann."

Ryuji swiftly became flustered, "D-Dude! That's not true! I just...I just didn't want her to feel alone. That's all."

"Oh wow, an ape can be honorable. Who would've known?"

Ryuji rolled his eyes, "Oh piss off Mona! I swear to God Ima shi—"

"Kimi wa ne tashika ni ano toki watashi no soba ni ita. Itsudatte itsu—" Ryuji embarrassingly answered his phone.

Akira tilted his head, "Your ringtone is Memories of You…?"

Once again, Ryuji gave him a flying bird, "Ma? What—"

He almost dropped his phone as his mother screeched at him through the phone, hell even both brothers heard her yells.

After a few minutes, Ryuji finally hung up his phone. Nervously, he spoke again, "Hey uh…I gotta go home."

"Great! Now I can sleep in, instead of having an ape in my ear!"

Ryuji clicked his teeth, "That's uh...that's the funny part. She wants you two to come over with me."

"WHAT?!"

Admittedly, the trio felt like a bunch of idiots nervously sitting in Ryuji's living room. Mrs. Sakamoto was actually rather nice to the two Kurusu boys, but...something felt off. Horribly off.

Ryuji leaned and whispered, "D-Dude...my mom has never asked for friends of mine to come over...not even Ann…"

Akira couldn't help but gulp as Mona stared the floor down, "O-Oh really? Th-That's totally a good sign..."

Oh, man.

If only Kamoshida could see us now, the Delinquents of Shujin Academy…scared to death by a middle-aged mother.

Ha.

Makoto would actually find this funny, wouldn't she?

Shit!

Stop! Come on! Just…ignore her.

Don't think about her.

I have a more pressing concern in the form of Mrs. Sakamoto…

All Akira could hear was the sound of a knife going through something behind him, but he didn't dare to look behind him.

Oh god.

She's totally going to murder me for taking her son without asking!

W-Wait a damn minute I didn't even want him to stay! He forced it!

B-But I agreed to it…I'm complacent…

OH MY GOD, I'M JUST 16 I'M NOT READY TO GO—

Ikumi strolled in front of the trio, gently placing an assortment of fruit in two bowls onto the table. Concern was clear on her face, "Are...are you three alright? Did y'all do somethin' stupid when I wasn't lookin'?"

"N-No? Ma I thought you were gonna…I dunno, stone us to death?"

She slanted her head in confusion, "What? W-Why?"

Akira meekly rubbed his neck, "Because he stayed over last night?"

She waved away their concerns, "Pffft, it's good he finally got out of the house. He was stinkin' up the place anyway. Could've called me instead, but we'll settle that...error in judgment later."

Ryuji nervously chuckled, "T-Then why are they here, Ma?"

"Oh, right. That's because we're gonna make the 'Seiten Tensei.'"

The Kurusu men looked at Ryuji confused as he gulped, "Oh, shit."

Morgana became the first to take a piece of fruit from the bowl as Ikumi waved a finger, "Language."

From what Akira could gather, the Seiten Tensei was essentially akin to a massive amalgamation of various meats and sides, it was something that the Sakamotos only pulled out for the best of the best.

I'm still confused on why we're getting treated like this but...who am I to refuse free food?

Akira rubbed his stomach timidly.

I see why Ryuji loves food…

Ikumi had sent Morgana and Ryuji off on a grocery hunt while she left the duty of crafting the sides to herself and Akira.

She was grinding up cheese while Akira put his surprisingly good knife skills to use.

"Um...Sakamoto-sa-"

"Don't do the honorifics crap, Akira. Just call me Ikumi."

Oh...mother like son huh?

"Right...Ikumi, I appreciate you being cool with Ryuji staying over. Honestly, I wasn't expecting him to stay over but he surprised it on me, I didn't want to say no so…"

She smiled, "That sounds just like my Ryuji...I hope he wasn't a burden."

Akira dropped his knife on the cutting board, "N-No! I'm not saying he was a hindrance or anything! I...I actually needed that, last night." He locked his eyes on hers, "Ryuji's been a really good help to me. I'm proud to call him…" A pause came forth for a moment.

My...my best friend…?

Akira gently shook his head, "...a friend. I think anyone would say that."

Ikumi's cheese grinding slowed until it stopped. At first, Akira genuine thought he said something wrong, causing him to wave his hands, "Ikumi, wait I-"

"You and your brother...you two helped him with Kamoshida...didn't you?"

How did she-

Of course, anyone this close to the situation would be able to realize we helped Ryuji…

Akira lowered his head, shaking it gently.

Ikumi gave a dry chuckle, "Ryuji...he...um, he tries his hardest to shoulder...just everythin' and hates havin' people involved in his messes. After what happened with Kamoshida...he did exactly that. I think he was okay with havin' that role but…" Her eyes wavered, "Those jackasses Kobayakawa and Kamoshida called us into a meetin', and they just kept hammerin' away at me. Callin' me a failure, a pathetic mother...and I just took it all and apologized on my knees." She released a shaky breath.

I wouldn't...I wouldn't be surprised if Kamoshida got Kobayakawa on board with that on purpose just to break Ryuji…

"I think after seein' that...it just broke him down. He lost the light in his eyes, it was like he was suffocatin' from it, and he was quietly takin' it all. He wouldn't even open up to me. He would just stay in the house, like a mute. Until...that first day."

Akira quietly spoke up, "When he met me…"

Ikumi nodded, "It was a little change, he wasn't weighin' all of that shit on his shoulders. Then the more and more the weeks went on, they became lighter, almost as if he could freely move himself. To the point, he could smile gleefully again. And the way he was talkin' 'bout you, I just knew you and your brother were the reason. Even if they don't like each other." Her hand balled into a fist against the counter as she gently shook, unbeknownst to Akira, "So that's why...that's why I'm not mad he stayed the night."

She turned her gaze to him, her eyes releasing free-flowing tears, "How could I be mad when you gave my son back his smile?"

Akira gave her a somber smile, "Ikumi…"

"Thank you, Akira."

Akira wore his smile as she rubbed her eyes, shaking away all sense of sentimentality, "Now, I think we should get back to cookin'!"

Ryuji and Morgana shuffled back inside, carrying bags whilst arguing as usual, "C'mon you asshole! Just take a few bags!"

"No! Apes have the strength of a thousand men, you should be fine! Plus, I'm the younger one, take the responsibilities of a senpai!"

"You asshole! You don't even treat me like an upper—" Ikumi's slipper made contact with Ryuji's temple, the safest thing Akira could throw.

"Are you two done yet, or do we have to take the groceries?!"

Ryuji contained his irritation from the slipper, his fear of his mother outweighed any pain, and simply chuckled, "Right…my bad."

Akira plopped onto the couch, his stomach felt as if it was bulging at the seams of his pants, the Seiten Tensei wasn't anything to scoff at.

Ryuji joined him on the couch, the blond struggling to get down properly without unleashing a cascade of burps. The impromptu man of the house grabbed the remote and turned the television on. Morgana was stuffing his mouth while Ikumi ventured off to her room.

The news instantly popped up, "Good evening, Tokyo! Starting off with our most pressing story, we have the continued rise and control of popularity with the second coming of the Jazz Prince, Goro Akechi! Now that he's finished up his guest touring spot along with Risette, it seems as if he's expelling himself down from that high-octane energy by settling down in Osaka! It's not clear what school he's commuting to as of late, but whoever he decides to bless with his presence will be swimming in enrollment, grants, and donations most definitely!"

Ryuji rolled his eyes, "That jackass is always on the news, man, oh my god. His shit ain't even that good!"

Akira quickly replied, his confusion was amply apparent, "You know...I have no idea who the hell that dude is."

The former waved a hand, "Don't stress over it, he's just a pretty boy that all the women of Japan faun over. Nothin' even special with his playin' either, just a bunch of repeated jazz licks and odd screamin'."

Akira slanted his head, he was a bit shocked, "Wow...Ryuji, you sound...smart."

His response was met with a jab to the arm, "Shaddup man-"

Once again, the news caught their attention, "Speaking of the Kansai region, the recent sprees of male serial gripping cases have been steadily rising. Reportedly, the perpetrator will lunge after the men in the night, and fiercely grip their… genitals. Afterward, a heavy sum is gifted to the men and the perpetrator is never seen again. It's been a strange few weeks in Kansai, Kato-sensei."

What the fuck?

Ryuji and Akira met eyes, broadcasting clearly to one another they had the same sentiment. Morgana's confusion could be heard as he stumbled off to the bathroom.

"That's a rather sick story, Yazawa-san. Moving on to brighter news, Tokyo will soon be blessed with Ichiryusai Madarame's presence as he plans to hold a Jazz festival here from May 24th to the 6th of June. It'll headline multiple incredible and noteworthy performances, with a set being held by his pupil, Yusuke Kitagawa, and a rare one by Madarame-sensei himself."

A picture came up with two men, the first was rather pale and young with his hands wrapped around a saxophone, he was of a thinner and taller build. His dark blue hair was parted into two bangs, both of which slightly obscuring his grey eyes.

The second man stood behind him with a nurturing expression and gentle hand on his shoulder. He was elderly with grey hair tied into a ponytail and a similarly grey goatee.

It almost seemed as if they were family.

Oh?

"Ever since his partial retirement from the world of Jazz ten years ago, he's been doing an amazing job distributing his knowledge and skill at Kosei High, cultivating amazing talent and rebuilding their band program. This set will mark the first time he's done a live performance since his retirement. It's a rather exciting ordeal in the musical world, even outside of jazz-centric circles."

Ryuji yawned a bit, "You interested in that?"

"A little. I only saw Madarame once as a kid, but I barely remember that concert man. You wanna go?"

"Pfffttt, you're actin' like either one of us got yen for that. You can be real funny when you want to, Aki-chan."

'Aki-chan' chuckled with a faint hint of irritation, "Thanks, I try." Akira hesitated for a moment, his eyes covered with flashes of Ikumi's tangent from earlier, "Look, Ryuji, I uh…"

Ryuji turned his head back to the TV, flipping through the channels while still lending an ear to his friend, "What's up?"

"I know I haven't been…the most expressive when it doesn't come to…practically everything else besides anger and sadness but um…it's just hard. I—"

"Before you continue, if it's about your shit at Kyoto, you don't have to tell me, man. When you're ready."

Oh.

I wasn't going to but…

Akira flashed a genuine smile, "Thanks, Ryuji. But I meant…I'm not the best at accepting people. Or letting people close. At Kyoto, people only really got around me out of the reputation I had. Everyone was just acquaintances, being friends with me because they had to. And I didn't care. Or at least…I thought I didn't. Kinda hurt when after everything, none of them asked or checked up on." Akira rubbed his nape, "So I kinda just decided to close myself off. And it seemed to work on that first day…but you…hell, Ann too, you two stuck beside me. Even when things got worse. You guys didn't waver, you didn't give up on me once I beat Kamoshida…you stayed until the bitter end, and thank you. Thank you, so…so much."

Ryuji waved a hand, "Nah, don't be like that man, you practically did the same—"

"But that's different. I kept pushing you away and kept being an asshole, but you kept wanting to get closer and become friends even within the whole deal thing. You never just thought of me being a tool you could use." His eyes weighed down a bit as he thought of Makoto, "You thought of me as a friend, a comrade, a brother-in-arms."

Ryuji sighed as a sort of interjection, but Akira cut him off before he could utter another sentence, "So, I think for the first time in my life…I have a best friend. Someone I could consider a blood brother outside of Morgana. So, thank you."

Ryuji's eyes wavered a bit as Akira could tell he was on the verge of tears.

Ryuji gave him a sudden embrace.

Sunday, May 2nd

Akira kept faintly hearing his phone violently vibrating against a surface.

Great.

Second time being disturbed out of my sleep…

As usual, Akira drowsily reached for his phone on his bedside desk, his eyes barely agape.

However, it was nowhere to be found. Neither was his desk.

Wait, where the hell-

Oh…

Ohhhh.

Akira swiftly realized he was still at the Sakamoto household, Ikumi suggested—more akin to forced— them to stay the night over once the oldest Kurusu lamented going back to the apartment, citing his annoyance with the subway system at night.

Attempting to not wake Ryuji, who was comfortably snuggled into the cushions at the opposite end, he grabbed his phone off the glass table.

I can tell Ryuji's slept here before.

Can't say I blame him.

It is pretty comfy.

His phone lit up again, showing the caller and giving him an intense shiver of dread.

Takemi.

The fact she's called me three times including now isn't a sign I can ignore this.

Shit.

"Hello?"

"Akira? Yeah, I need you at the clinic, ASAP."

"W-What? You can't just—"

"You do remember the contents of our deal, right?"

"All I remember is being paralyzed and getting some half-baked advice."

"Half-baked? Oh shut up, people would pay for my advice! And I'm assuming you don't want free medicine and medical supplies?" She clicked her teeth, "Such a shame. Guess I'll just go and take my feet elsewhere."

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Ah yes, feet are the seal in my presence blessing you. Besides, I'll come. I just don't want you to make it a habit of calling me out of my sleep. I'm a teenager! Sleep is very important to me!"

Ryuji started to shift in his sleep, signifying his encroaching return to the land of the wake.

"Good. Speaking of important, if you have any pressing issues that need to be dealt with during the next three or so hours, cancel them."

"Wai-Wait, wha—"

"Bye-bye!"

"Tae—"

The ever-so-familiar sound of being hung up on spilled in Akira's ear.

"Dude…what's up with all the yellin'…" Ryuji rubbed his eyes as he propped himself up.

"Right, sorry. I uh…I have a deal I need to uphold so…" Akira shuffled around in his pocket, revealing his card key, "Can you give Morgana this when he wakes up? And please tell your mother I'm grateful for the food."

Getting his shoes and other accessories together, Ryuji stopped him at the door, "Don't tell me you're gonna have another session of sexy doctor time?!"

Akira chuckled, "Why yes, don't tell me you're jealous?"

"Ah yes, gettin' paralyzed is so sexy and jealousy inducin'."

"True, or it could be the fact that I've had more interaction with the female gender than you've had in the last few months." Ryuji opened his mouth to argue, "And Ann doesn't count since I'm not counting her."

Ryuji's energy dwindled for a moment until his mind quickly constructed a rebuttal, "Then Miss Prez doesn't count either!"

Did he really have to go there?

C'mon man.

Did I just get stumped by Ryuji Sakamoto?!

Oh HELL NO

"Takemi still counts because I talked to her after the paralysis and during Morgana's exam! And no, don't ask."

Once again, his finger rose in interjection but he dropped it as he realized the futility of his efforts, "Goddamn it, you're right. I give up."

Akira chuckled as he gave a fancy little bow, "Don't worry my ward, your apprenticeship under Sir Knight Kurusu will bless you with the passive ability to pull women. For the Path of 'Electric Relaxation' will instill you with the proper—"

For once, Ryuji threw a pillow at Akira and it hit, "Dude, get a move on before I kick you out of my house."

"Right."

"So…what you're saying is…I have to drink this vial full of blue juice?" Akira gently shook it, its contents sloshing around.

Takemi scribbled away on some paper, her face hidden from Akira, "Mmmm, yeah."

He breathed out a heavy sigh, "Am I going to get paid for this, this time?"

She gave him the hand signal for him to drink it, to which he begrudgingly did, "You're so lucky I partially like you."

Takemi spun around in her chair, "You partially like me but love my feet."

Akira scoffed, "Sh…shut up." He felt…drowsy. Really drowsy.

Takemi paid this no mind as Akira's few of her became distorted and warped, it was almost as if her face was draining away like ice cream losing its form from the scorching sun. Then, suddenly it became void.

The silhouette of her face remained, but where her features would've been, it was an empty neverending hole of darkness.

Akira wanted to scream or at least audibly emote an, 'What the fuck?!' but all he could muster was slurred grunts.

Tae's voice was deeper and rich in potential terror, "And about that payment, we'll see when you wake uuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppppppp—"

Akira collapsed on the floor.

His thoughts still bounced chaotically inside of his brain.

DUDE

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

TAE?!

NO, SHE CAN'T HEAR ME, I'M INSIDE MY BRAIN, RIGHT?

WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DRINK? I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE DRUNK THAT ALIEN SKEET LYSOL BULLSHIT RAAAGHHH

IT'S ALWAYS FEET THAT BRING MY DOWNFALL FOR FUCKS SAKE

WHY DID I DEVELOP AN AFFINITY FOR BOTTOM DIGITS?! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DAYS OF LOVING THIGHS? ASS?! TITTIES?!

Suddenly, a brilliant flash of light engulfed Akira as he felt his consciousness enter a body. He was standing in a giant field of grass. Far off in the distance, seemingly the center, sat a massive tree on a hill. It had grandiose sprawling branches that snaked all across the sky.

"Huh. I…I guess I should go that way? I have no idea if this is a drug trip or a death trip, so I guess I should live it out."

Akira shrugged and continued on, running through the grass to conquer the hill. Exhaustion echoed throughout his body as he was hunched over, his hands on his knees.

"Oh…oh my god…why am I tired inside of a drug trip? Is this some…weird commentary on my entire state of being? Does—oh fuck it…I gotta stop overthinking this whole thing."

Taking in one final inhale, Akira noticed three masks at the base of the tree. In the center held a white domino mask, almost akin to a bird. Around the eyes held black designs that reminded him of eyeliner and lashes. To the left of that held…

Is...is that The Feral Deity's mask from The Legend of Link: Majora's Facade?

Yeah, this is definitely a drug trip.

God, Majora's Facade is such a masterpiece.

Maybe I should play it again, it's been...four years? Yeesh...I'm getting old.

I wonder if I have my old N64 back in Kyoto...I stuffed it somewhere in my closet and never looked back.

Ah...good times.

Akira turned his gaze to the right, spotting the final mask which was…

"Oh! Cool, it's the Baku Baku mask, I loved playing the Rash Coopercoot trilogy as a kid…didn't they remake them a few years ago?" Akira reached out and grabbed it first, with it immediately turning into shards that ripped into his palms, "WHAT THE HELL?!"

There was no pain, yet blood kept dripping out at an unusual rate, pooling at his feet and eventually…turning into a body.

Wha—

WHAT IS THIS?

Eventually, the body took a full appearance. It was a child, no older than eight years. He had a full set of messy short raven hair. His grey eyes were full of glee and wonder, something Akira lost a long time ago.

Don't tell me this trip is going to have me doing a stupid ass series of self-reflections?! I do this every day for God's sake!

Akira threw his head to the sky, yelling at whoever or whatever could hear him, "Can this trip be over?! If this is what I'm going to be doing this entire time I'd much rather get torture or have a wet dream or something! Those are much more ple—"

The child spoke, "What happened to you?"

The teenager sighed, "Look kid, I know I'm probably a disappointment to look at but your fut—"

"Not that you, jackass! What happened to make you…" The child almost hurled, "A lover of…feet."

"What?"

Was I always so…rude as a kid?

"Don't tell me we became an idiot at the age of sixteen, you heard me! WHY DO YOU LIKE FEET, MAN?!"

"I…um…look kid, I think you aren't old enough to hear—"

"OLD ENOUGH?! I'm you! At this age, we loved thighs! The fuck do you mean not old enough?! Now explain before I kick you in the nuts!"

"I mean, would the nut kicking hurt? The shards didn't so ha! I don't even have to tell you, I can just wait until I—mhof!"

As expected, younger Akira smashed his fist against his present-day's self's testicles.

At first, the pain was explosive, but Akira still stood, "..h..ha…you can't punch worth shit—"

A flurry of blows connected with his nuts, almost as if they were being isolated in a blender and shook up.

He fell to the ground as his younger self, annoyingly, stood proud over him, "Ready to fess up?"

Akira struggled but managed to turn himself over, dragging himself over to the rest of the masks.

M-Maybe my other selves will help me…p-please god, please…my nuts feel like grains now…

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Well…I am you."

"Oh shut the fuck up! I'd much rather deal with whatever comes next than deal with you, you annoying damn brat! God, how I was such an insufferable piec—"

A blinding flash illuminated Akira's face as he grabbed both masks. Signifying one thing.

Oh, for fuc—

A massive explosion threw Akira into the air at neck-breaking speeds. Then suddenly, he was thrown into a hallway, slamming against a wall. The hallway seemingly belonged to Kyoto Tachibana? It would've been the second floor.

Akira took a deep breath against the wall, for all he could tell, his younger self wasn't anywhere to be found. Nor were his other-selves.

"Kinda disappointed but…at least I don't have to deal with that anymore…but how do I get out of here…?"

Straightening himself up, he pushed forward, vaguely remembering the layout of his former high school. Finally getting to the base floor, Akira could help but run towards the door, only to get blown back into the wall by a gust of wind.

"Oh for the love of God! WHAT IS IT NOW?!"

The wind kept centering at the door, coalescing at one point as if it was sentient. Much like the blood before that birthed his younger counterpart, a person formed.

Akira felt as if he was going to puke.

The wind gave birth to an older man. He was bald with a simple goatee. The man grinned at Akira, giving a simple flex, causing his upper clothing to become atomized to reveal his torso. It was, at least in Akira's eyes, a ghastly sight. Veins were bulging throughout his body, his muscles chiseled and defined to a point where it seemed almost cartoonish.

Honestly, it made Akira feel a bit self-conscious.

His skin was red and he was emitting a dark vicious purple aura.

Akira struggled to hold himself up against the wall, the gusts still pushed against him, but he was managing to hold his own.

"S-So! Seems that I can't have a normal drug trip without running into you! Seems that I can do anything without it somehow leading back to you!"

"Why of course! What kind of man would I be if I didn't visit one of my most trusted disciples! Poor Akira, it must be so tiring being in Tokyo without my leadership…"

Akira gritted his teeth, "Leadership!? What a joke! All you ever did was lie and manipulate shit in your favor! Not caring about any of the lives you ruined!"

The man tilted his head, "Oh? Then wouldn't we be cut from the same cloth?"

T-This is just a trip. This is just my mind playing tricks on me. Don't internalize this.

"T-That's not true! You and I are nothing alike!"

He clicked his teeth, placing an inquisitive hand on his chin, "Well…if you truly do believe that lives thing…then I wouldn't have made Misao-san let you two off the hook…" He chuckled as Akira tried to push through the wind, struggling immensely but being able to take a step, "Just accept it, Akira, I cared for you two but you just wouldn't bow to me as you should've. Everything is your fault."

Despite the struggle to get there, Akira made it in front of the man and attempted to throttle him. All he did was burst into laughter with the little oxygen he still had, "Didn't you already try this before, Akira?! You can try to beat me and kill me all you want, but I'm still everywhere. You can never get rid of me. Masayoshi Shido will never fail. Especially to a teenager who ruins everything he touches!"

A deafening roar of laughter erupted from his mouth, only making Akira feel his eye twitch, and like twice before, causing him to loosened his grip in one hand and turned it into a fist. Raising it and bringing it down to strike Shido.

The man who ruined everything.

But, he was too late. His vision shattered like a broken window, Shido's face became void much like Tae's earlier. Everything started to fade away but Shido's laughter kept echoing, seemingly with no end in sight.

Is it over? Am I about to wake up?!

Like his first visit to Tae's clinic, he woke up on the examination bed.

But…something was off.

It wasn't Tae. It was younger versions of himself.

NO.

NO, NO, NO.

YOU CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.

The oldest Akira shot up from the bed, attempting to run out of the clinic but his younger counterparts held him down with surprising strength.

Before he knew it, somehow he was strapped to the bed.

"You stupid sons of bitches! Let me go! Come on, how could you do this to me?! I'm all of you for god's sake!"

The oldest of the hallucinations spoke up, Akira could gauge he was from the previous year, since his hair was still akin to Morgana's lengthy ponytail, "If you were really us then you wouldn't love feet! You nasty ass bastard!"

Honestly, Akira was getting rather tired of this.

"You guys wouldn't get it."

The second oldest, his variant from 2016, "The hell do you mean we won't get it! Dude, do you know what feet touch on a daily basis? All types of yucky nasty shit! You're disgusting…is this what I turn into…? How could you disregard the gospel of luscious asscheeks…?"

"Why the hell are you all ganging up on me when all of you like three different assets?! All three of you disregarded ass, thighs, and titties in some way!"

2012 Akira spoke up, "So? We all agree that you're the biggest offender, even if…my future turns out pathetic."

2016 turned around, "The hell do you mean pathetic you tiny bastard?!"

The two Akira's started engulfing the room into a ruckus as 2020 Akira stood directly in front of his present-day self, "So uh…wanna answer a question before we gut you like a pig?"

Akira couldn't help but flash an intense look of irritation, "No, I will not grow our hair back, that shit was annoying. I don't know why Morgana still has his lon—"

2020 waved his hands, "No, that's not it. Since you're a feety boy…I assume we uh…we did the deed with Mika and her boo—"

"Shut it."

"Wait but—"

"Shut it. Just gut me, man, I'd much feel that then go and forth with the drugged interpretation of my younger self about sex."

I just need a hero.

As if his thoughts were answered, lightning struck in the center of the room, sucking all of the electricity from the lights. This caused all of the Akiras to go into a deep panic as they were masked in a deep sea of darkness.

That was until a grunt caused lit candles to levitate around the source of the voice.

Great…another mysterious person forming.

This isn't an enjoyable trip.

A hood hid their face until they shook it off their head, revealing…

Ryuji?!

W-Well I guess this version could help?

I'm putting my hopes into Ryuji.

Oh, I'm fucked.

This Ryuji cleared his throat as he held his staff, his voice calmer and more exhausted than usual, "Akiras of the past…I know you want to put this man to death due to his transgressions of treasuring feet…honestly, I agree."

"WHAT?!" Akira attempted to violently break from his restraints, "Goddamn it Ryuji! I knew I couldn't even count on my best friend you bas—"

Ryuji lazily waved his hand, manifesting a ball gag over Akira's mouth, which only caused him to become a muffled angry mess, "Now that he's restrained, let me become the voice of reason. You see kids, when you like a woman very much you enjoy all aspects of her, right? Even the smaller ones?"

The Akiras voiced similar agreement to which Ryuji continued, "Then imagine this…you got the baddest shorty on the planet right, smokin' hot body, the perfect amalgamation of mommy milkers, luscious gluteus maximus, and watermelon-crushin' thighs that could turn any partially self-respectin' man into a little pee-pee pissin' cock and ball torture enthusiast and a little cum factory bitch."

Each Akira showcased extreme thirst over their respective aspect, with the youngest yelling, "OH GOD YES, TALK THAT SHIT RYUJI-SAMA!"

Holy fuck.

They need Jesus.

Er…wait…Uh, I need Jesus. Maybe I should drink a whole gallon of holy water once I wake up.

Wait a damn minute, how the hell do my younger selves know about Ryuji, but 2020 Akira doesn't know about Mika?!

Wait…stop thinking too much.

The wise version of Ryuji chuckled as he calmed them down, "With all that in consideration, imagine if she had…ugly ass feet."

2012 and 2016 groaned as they immediately dismissed the idea but 2020 sat on it for a moment. His eyes slowly widened with shock as he clutched his stomach, "O-Oh my God…"

2012 threw his eyes at his older self, "What? C'mon, don't tell me that asshole got you on his side?!"

2020 spoke, "Bro, think about it…think about dad's feet. They're ugly right? That's why he covers them up so much to the point they aren't noticeable. Think about his feet in tandem with…hm…" 2020 Akira took a moment to think, "Seeing as you're from 2012, think about father's feet on Beyoncé!"

The humorous expression on 2012's face turned into sheer despair as he collapsed onto the floor, holding his head as he screeched in horror.

'20 pointed at '16, "You! Now imagine Risette's luscious ass and dad's feet!"

This is not at all how I thought this would go but, it is in character for me. Especially last year…

'16 started choking on his own puke as he collapsed onto the floor, falling into a seizure.

'20 was close to puking also but he steeled himself as 'Wizard Ryuji' waved a hand towards '21 Akira, releasing him from his restraints.

Hopping off the examination bed and rubbing his wrists, Akira spoke, "Thanks…uh…Wizard Ryuji."

"Just call me Ryudalf."

"….okay man." Akira turned to his younger selves, "Are we all good now? Do you assholes understand why I cherish feet? Are we done?"

Weakly, each of them raised a thumb.

"Hey uh….Ryudalf, do you know how I can get out of here?"

Ryudalf chuckled as he jerked his staff into Akira's chest, freezing the boy, "You have one more thing to experience before you can leave, my ward."

Is that revenge for earlier? Oh my god wa—

Everything turned to mist as Akira felt chains wrap around each of his limbs, chaining him against an examination table, once again. Though this time he was stripped completely naked.

OH MY GOD, WHEN WILL THIS END?! AND WHY AM I NAKED?! HELLO?!

Of course, Akira couldn't make any noise as his mouth was sewn shut.

This room, which he couldn't identify, was masked in the dim light that was right above him. While the lighting was a reason why he couldn't identify anything, it was also because his vision was limited to holes cut into a Teddie mask glued to his face.

What 'Saw' bullshit is this?! Am I getting tortured by Risette?! Aigis? Yukari!?

Okay, admittedly that's kinda hot but this isn't the time!

From the darkness emerged two figures, the first one making Akira's balls retract into his body.

Oh god.

OH MY GOD.

NO

NO

I'D MUCH RATHER DEAL WITH SHIDO THAN HER

ON GOD, IF I COULD I'D BE ON MY KNEES RIGHT NOW, I'LL BE A WORTHY DISCIPLE AND SERVANT IF YOU TAKE OUT OF THIS TRIP RIGHT NOW LORD.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT NO MORE MAN WHY IS MAKOTO HERE?!

This Makoto was in a skin-tight leather outfit that…actually complimented her well. The leather was fitted with a dichotomy between a darkish blue and black, and a grayish corset-styled breastplate covered her torso, giving off this battle-worn vibe. That vibe was only complimented by the spiked shoulder and knee pads she had, along with the brass knuckles she had clutched in her gloved hands. Which only made Akira squirm and beg for his life, even if it was muffled.

Her eyes were radiating behind this iron mask she had on, the darkness of the room and limited visibility only adding to the terror her glare had.

To the right of her was Kawakami who…was barely recognizable, she had a typical maid costume on, dating back to 19th century France. Her hair had been cleanly separated into two thick pigtails.

For some reason, some piece of her allure had been lost with this cleaner version of her…

She was the first one to speak, "Ah…Kurusu-kun, I told you wouldn't play about Niijima-san."

She approached close to him, each step sending an influx of fear so powerful it was possible Akira could've been sent into cardiac arrest.

All he could do was squirm and plead to Makoto with his eyes.

She kept staring into his soul as she gave him an emotionless harsh stare.

It was futile either way as he felt Kawakami's cold hands grasp his family jewels as within seconds, the deafening minuscule snip of scissors echoed through the room and little plops of flesh could be heard hitting the ground.

Fortunately, Akira shot up from the bed before his brain could register the pain.

Clutching his prized orbs, he breathed a sigh of relief as he investigated the examination room.

N-No Shido…

No Ryudalf.

None of my younger selves…no Kawakami.

And no Makoto.

Good.

"So…how was the trip?" Takemi was sitting comfortably in her chair, her gaze meeting Akira's still panicked state of being, "Anything noteworthy?"

"N-Noteworthy?! You sent me on a drug trip without my knowledge! T-That's illegal, I'm a minor! How long was I even out?!"

Tae tapped her phone, "About…four and a half hours, it's currently 5 PM."

"WHAT?! You just let me sit here for almost five hours?! Were you even worried?!"

"Nah, I knew you'd be fine. Also…this Makoto girl, if you're imagining her throughout a medical drug trip, I think it would be imperative for you to sort that issue out."

Akira felt his ears warm, "W-What? How did you…"

"You talked in your stupor. And another thing, I'm assuming you had something to do with this news of a teacher being arrested at Shujin Academy? Is that why you had that…Iwai boy give me some money to say you guys were here if anything ever came up?"

Akira contemplated his next line of speech, "…Yeah. He was a real nasty asshole, so instead of taking your advice…I just broke through the wall instead."

"Ah…so my advice didn't help?"

"No, it did. Just…not in the way you expected."

Tae faintly nodded, "I see…I see. Well, I expect to see you for your next check-up."

"Oh, sure—wait, hell no!" Akira was gathering his things as he did a double-take, "Why the hell would I come back here? You're lucky I'm not going to report you in the first place since I have too much heat around me!"

Tae kicked a bag over to Akira's feet, "I've given you a month's worth of my best medical stuff, from medicines to things I've created using some food science. All for basically free."

"Not really free if I had to subject my body to a strange drug trip."

She dismissed his words with a wave, "A drug trip that'll help a lot of people in the near future, Akira. Oh, and um…in the bag should be 54 thousand yen."

"W-What?"

"54,993.8 yen, to be exact."

"Come again?"

"You complained about it, so I gave you some money."

"Huh?"

"You keep this little bit up and I'll take the money back and kick you in the nuts."

Why is everything being fixated on my nuts today?!

Akira picked up the bag, "Fine, fine. My bad for trying to make a little comedic bit." Akira wobbled over towards the door as Tae spoke once more.

"Akira?"

"Hm?"

"I'm being serious about that Makoto girl. If it's bothering you, go deal with it. You just dealt with a child predator, what could be so bad about a teenage girl?"

Akira turned his head back, pondering her words for a moment before giving her a faint grin, "Yeah, you're right. Ew…but, thanks Takemi. Maybe…maybe I'll be back for that next visit if it is truly helping people and you're not just playing a sick joke on me."

She chuckled, "I have better things to do than play with teenagers."

With his free hand, Akira clutched his heart, "Oof…I'm so wounded…"

Waving her goodbye, Akira opened the door, mentally resolving him.

Yeah.

This isn't going to be so bad.

What's the worst that could happen?

A/N:

I am so...so sorry for the insanely late chapter. The school restart has been admittedly kicking my ass but I think I've figured out I'm going to make everything work this year, so chapters will keep being consistent I hope. As long as I'm alive, Marching Phantoms will keep being updated, I can promise that. Oh, and I'm moving the update dates to Thursday/Friday now since the weekends are where I spend the bulk of my writing time now.

Also, special shoutout to Ouya2, I just wanna give some appreciation to them, they've helped a lot lately even if they don't know it.

Anyway, time for chapter 13! Enjoy everybody!