Author's Note: TW for references to self-harm and self-harm urges. Thanks for reading! Sorry for the long wait and probs not the greatest chapter. it's been a rough week for me personally. I didn't have any motivation for a hot sec there (and was trying not to relapse ha) and I appreciate you all being patient and so incredibly kind! You are loved!
Reviews:
Urgwaew: Hi, friend! Oh you are so, so kind! Goodness, I read your reviews over and over again! You are right! That was the longest chapter yet- over 10k words! This one is half of it! I wish I could've split it up but I didn't find anywhere that worked so instead it was a long chapter! Also, there's no cliffhanger in this chapter, but I almost made one! The next chapter will be wild. I haven't written it yet but I know what happens and whew! And you are such a good friend! Thank you so much! I love, love LOVE your strategies! I'm not a math person but it is a FANTASTIC way to occupy your mind and I'll have to incorporate it here somewhere. Thank you for the suggestion both in my personal life and for this story! And not apologize for your review or for ranting! I LOVE IT! Seriously, I read reviews over and over and appreciate your thoughts. They are wonderful- just like you! Thanks so much for your kind words. I hope you like this chapter!
Previous chapter summary: Harry is triggered in potions class due to a blood-thickening potion. He goes to Remus for help and Remus is so proud of Harry! Remus stays with Harry all day and Harry does not relapse. Hooray! Remus gives Harry another strategy and this brings Harry's list to 15 total alternatives. Yay!
This chapter summary: Harry talks about what happened when he was triggered. He shows adults his list of 15 alternatives. He has an Occlumency lesson with Snape and an Animagus lesson with Minerva. He rests (again, poor kid).
The next day, Remus gently woke Harry up. "Harry. Harry, love. It's time to wake up."
Both Harry and Padfoot groaned. However, Harry managed to have a nightmare-free night, so he slept better than usual.
"Mornin'" Harry mumbled as he tried to wake himself up.
"Breakfast is cooking. Do you want breakfast or a shower first?" Remus offered.
"Shower," Harry groaned as he rolled back over on his pillow.
Remus smiled and shook his head at the half-asleep boy and dog before starting the shower. He allowed Harry to lie there for a few more minutes before returning. "Harry, your shower's going. It's time to get up, or I'll put peanut butter on you for Padfoot to lick."
Harry groaned. He would think it's just a threat, but they've done it before. Harry rolled over all the way off his bed and stumbled to the shower. "Bloody mornings," Harry groaned.
Remus went over to Padfoot now and said, "C'mon Pads. I've got fresh coffee brewing. The strong kind."
This was enough to get Padfoot to jump off the bed and turn into Sirius who stumbled to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of ambition.
"Thank Merlin for this," Sirius breathed as he took his fourth sip.
Remus shook his head and went back to cooking breakfast.
Harry came into the kitchen a bit later, looking much more awake than he did before his shower.
"How'd you sleep, Cub?" Remus asked, looking over his shoulder.
"Good," Harry replied, taking a sip of the pumpkin juice in front of him. "I didn't have any nightmares but probably because of all that bloody therapy," Harry teased Remus with a smirk.
"Well, I'm glad about no nightmares. And I'll guess I'll have to have a talk with your therapist," Remus teased back as he set down a plate in front of Harry.
"Moony Da!" Harry cried, gently slapping Remus on the arm.
"But I'm proud of you, Harry. How're you feeling?" Remus asked more seriously as he slid into his spot.
"Better. I still feel kinda emotionally drained but so much better than yesterday."
"I am so glad to hear that. And yeah, that totally makes sense. Your mental health rain a marathon yesterday. Your physical body would feel tired after a marathon so it only makes sense that your mental health would be, too."
Harry smiled. He loved how Remus made sense of things he couldn't wrap his mind around.
"That makes sense, Moony Da. Thanks," Harry said as he happily bit into his toast.
"It's my job," Remus winked as he sipped his tea.
"You've got my class today after Moony Da's appointment," Sirius reminded Harry. "Let me know if you're going to be late or can't make it. I understand."
"Thanks, Dadfoot. I appreciate it."
"Of course. Only because you're my son," Sirius winked.
Harry rolled his eyes but sent Sirius a smile.
"Eat up. You've got Transfiguration today and I hear the professor is a stickler," Sirius said.
Harry rolled his eyes again but did as Sirius instructed because he wasn't wrong.
Harry ate his breakfast (which Remus and Sirius were thrilled about) and quickly grabbed his stuff for Transfiguration. Sirius walked with him to class and dropped him off. Harry didn't see it, as he was setting his stuff down, but Sirius gave Minerva a pointed look before heading to his own classroom.
While Minerva appreciated the concern Sirius had for Harry, she knew something was off yesterday and was going to ask him about it. The look from Sirius just further proved that she was right.
Minerva waved her wand in the doorway, not allowing anyone in before walking over to Harry.
"Hello, Harry," she said softly before sliding into a seat.
Harry froze before looking at her, shocked. She never called him Harry in the classroom. And she was using her grandmother voice!
"Grandm- er, I mean, Professor, we're in a classroom," Harry whispered, looking around.
Minerva just shook her head and said, "No one can come in, Harry. I just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing."
"'M okay. I slept well."
"That's good! No, I don't know any details and no one has told me anything, but I could tell you were off yesterday. How are you feeling now?"
"Better. Yesterday was rough, but I'm doing better now."
Minerva pursed her lips and studied Harry. "I'm glad you're doing better now. We will talk later, okay? A lesson after dinner this evening?"
"Yes, ma'am," Harry agreed.
Minerva looked at him again before standing up and kissing the top of his head. She then waved her wand and let down the barrier at the doorway. One student came in confused, but their friend joined not even a minute later so it was quickly forgotten.
Harry sat through Transfiguration and did pretty well with the lesson (James would be proud). He had a decent day and ate lunch with his Gryffindor friends. Time sped by until it was time for Harry's therapy session.
"Are you ready, Professor?" Harry asked as he poked his head in the doorway.
Remus looked up from his notes and smiled. "Ah, yes! Harry! Come in!"
Harry returned the smile and came in, shutting the door behind him. He sat down on the couch and instinctively grabbed a pillow to hold on to.
"How's today been, Harry?" Remus asked kindly as he sat down.
"Pretty normal. Grandma Min asked to see me later tonight. She said she knew something was up yesterday."
"She is rather perceptive. How do you feel about that?"
"Good. I haven't talked to her in a while so it'll be nice."
"I'm glad! Have you thought about what you're going to tell her?"
Harry shrugged. "I'm going to tell her that I was triggered, but not everything. She won't push, especially since I went to you."
Remus gave Harry another proud smile. "Yes, and I am so proud of you for doing that. I wanted to check in and ask how you're doing today. I know you said you were mentally tired this morning."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'm still that. But I'm doing alright. The urge isn't back or anything. It, and I dunno if this makes sense, but it makes me feel so much better knowing that I went to you for help. Like if it comes back, I did it once and I can do it again, y'know?" Harry asked hopefully.
Remus smiled at Harry. "Oh, Cub. I am so proud of you. Yes, that makes complete sense. It's nice knowing when you've done something once that you can do it again. You should be proud of yourself and you should feel good about it."
Harry felt his chest swell with pride in a way that would've made Sirius proud.
"I do want to remind you of one thing, though," Remus said.
Harry nodded. His eyes were open wide as he listened attentively to his godmother.
"I have no doubt that you can come to me again when you need to. I also want you to know that even though you've done it once, it doesn't mean you're a failure if you relapse. Each time is different. The emotions, your surroundings, triggers, and people are all different. It's okay if your response is different. It's expected to be different. It's a hard part to deal with and I want to continue to celebrate your success, but I wanted to prepare you for that."
Harry nodded thoughtfully as he took it all in. "Yeah, I get it. I mean- I wish it wasn't always so different, but it makes sense."
"But again, I am so proud of you. You did so well, my dear."
Harry unexpectedly got up and hugged Remus. "I love you, Moony Da."
Remus was surprised by the surge of affection, but certainly wasn't complaining. "I love you too, Cub."
Remus and Harry continued to talk until there were about 10 minutes left in the session. Harry knew that he had to bring something up. "Moony Da?"
"Yes?"
"I have something to show you."
Remus nodded and kept his face neutral, but was admittedly a bit worried as Harry pulled out a piece of parchment from his bag.
"Do you remember when I told you that Professor Snape wanted me to write down 15 alternatives to hurting myself?"
"Yes, I do."
"I finally finished it," Harry said as he shyly walked over and held out the list to Remus.
Remus looked it over and his smile grew on his face.
"Oh, Merlin! Harry, this is fantastic! I am so proud of you!" Remus exclaimed. As he finished reading it, Remus stood up and enveloped Harry in a big hug. He may be a therapist, but he was a dad first and he was a bloody proud dad right now.
"Is it good?" Harry asked.
"Oh, it is wonderful, Cub. It is so, so good. Oh, Merlin. So good," Remus breathed.
Harry felt himself smile and he relaxed into the hug. Remus sounded so proud of him and it made Harry's heart swell.
When Remus finally pulled away he looked at the list again before looking at Harry. "May I duplicate it? There are some great coping mechanisms on here."
Harry nodded and Remus duplicated it with a grin and put it on his desk. "This is amazing."
Harry finally shook his head. "Moony Da, it's just a list."
"A list that took a lot of time and effort! Harry, truthfully, when you started this did you think you were going to have 15 alternatives?"
"No," Harry admitted.
"You have done some amazing things. Thank you so much for sharing that with me."
"O' course," Harry shrugged.
"Have you shared this with anyone else yet? Dadfoot? Grandma Min? Professor Snape?"
"No. You're the first."
"I am honored, Harry. Truly honored."
Remus was grinning nonstop and Harry had no idea he was going to make his father that proud.
"We should celebrate!" Remus said, further proving Harry's point.
"Moony Da, I have class in like 15 minutes and you have other sessions," Harry pointed out.
"After! Or this weekend! We will celebrate!"
"Whatever works, Moony Da," Harry agreed.
Remus pulled Harry in for another hug and whispered to him. "I am so proud of you, Cub. Always."
Harry allowed the praise to warm him up and squeezed Remus back.
"Now, when are you planning on turning this in to Professor Snape?"
"'M not sure yet. Before Friday. D'ya think Dadfoot will want to see it?"
"I know Dadfoot would be thrilled to see it. Why don't you head to class now, that way you can show him before anyone else gets there?" Remus suggested.
"Good idea! Thanks, Moony Da!" Harry said, his eyes lighting up.
"On your way, then. I love you! I'll see you later!" Remus called out as Harry got his stuff together.
"Bye, Moony Da! Love you! Later!"
Remus smiled as the teenager left his office. He looked at the paper again and shook his head in awe. Merlin, he was proud of his son. Somehow Harry is his and he thanked his lucky stars every day.
Harry rushed to History so he would be able to get there before any of his classmates did. Lucky for him, no one was there yet.
Harry looked around the classroom and didn't see anyone. He quickly made his way up the stairs to his godfather's office where the door was partially open.
"Dadfoot! Dadfoot!" Harry exclaimed as he burst through the door.
Sirius was at his desk grading essays and looked up when Harry barged in.
"Pup? Are you alright?" Sirius asked worriedly, immediately standing up and going over to Harry.
"'M good! Really! I was just with Moony Da and he said I should show you something," Harry replied, out of breath.
Sirius knew that whatever it was was something good based on Harry's expression, tone, and body language. He allowed his body to relax and he leaned against his desk and put his hands down next to him to rest on the edge. "What's up, Pup?"
Remus may have helped Harry get excited about showing Sirius, but pulling out the paper caused some of that excitement to morph into nervousness.
"Snape had me write down a list of alternatives to hurting myself. It took a few months, but I finally got to fifteen," Harry explained shyly, holding out the parchment.
Sirius took the sheet from Harry and unfolded it. As he read it his smile only grew.
"Oh, Pup. Harry, this is incredible! I am so proud of you!" Sirius wrapped Harry into a hug and held him there for several moments.
"You should be proud of yourself. You're working so hard. You are amazing, kiddo," Sirius whispered as he held Harry close.
"I love you, Dadfoot," Harry whispered back.
"I love you so much."
Eventually, Sirius released his son and looked at the parchment before giving it back to Harry. "Have you shown Snape this yet?"
Harry shook his head. "Just Moony Da in our session and now you. I wanted to make sure you knew."
"Well, I appreciate that, Pup. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Harry shook his head again. "Nope! Just wanted to show you."
"Thank you so much for that. I appreciate it. And I appreciate you."
Harry blushed and looked away. He was working on accepting praise but it wasn't easy.
"Class is going to start soon, yeah? Ready to go down?"
Harry shook his head and Sirius walked him down to the classroom and they both got set up as students started to pour into the classroom.
Sirius and Remus are both professional with Harry, but Sirius couldn't help himself with the warmth that flowed toward Harry during the lesson.
Did Harry need to be awarded 20 points for picking up a dropped quill?
Maybe not, but Sirius didn't care. He was so bloody proud of his son. What an amazing kid.
When History was over, Sirius was able to sneak another hug to Harry before Harry left class and shyly made his way to the potions classroom.
Harry wasn't sure what Professor Snape would be doing at that time, but it turned out that when he got there Snape was releasing his third year potions class of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs.
Harry slid into the classroom while Snape was talking to a Ravenclaw (or at least tolerating them). Snape raised an eyebrow as he saw Harry, but turned back to the student and quickly finished up their conversation.
As the students scurried away, Snape gestured for Harry to come over to him and Harry nervously walked up to his desk.
"Mr. Potter. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Snape asked sarcastically.
Harry looked back at the students who were trailing out and then back at Snape, hoping he would get the message. He did and Snape brought Harry into his office. He shut the door and put up a silencing charm.
"Harry, how can I help?" Snape asked, normally this time.
"I-uh- finished something the other day and I wanted to give it to you," Harry said, pulling the parchment out of his robes. He shakily handed it to Snape who grabbed it and unfolded it.
Harry twisted his hands in his lap as Snape silently read it with an unchanging face.
Alternatives to harming myself:
1. Talk to Moony Da, Dadfoot, or someone else I care about
2. Play Quidditch, use the punching bag, or exercise in another way
3. Get outside and get some air
4. Have some hot chocolate or tea
5. Journal or write a story
6. Go to Moony Da for therapy
7. Be with Padfoot or another animal
8. Take a nap
9. Play or fiddle with a fidget
10. Use my hands by making a potion, draw, use clay
11. Play a game (Rummy, Battleship, Chess, Checkers, etc)
12. Bake or cook
13. Mindfulness and breathing skills Moony Da taught me
14. Listen to music
15. Ice cubes (hold them or put them on my arm)
Harry watched Snape and tried to gauge how he was feeling. When he was finished, Snape looked up and a rare smile appeared on his face.
"Harry, this is rather well done. Nice job."
Harry felt his body sag in relief. "You think so? I'm sorry it took so long."
Snape waved that comment away. "Do not worry about that! You did it exactly how I wanted you to. I am proud of you."
Harry's breath hitched in his throat. "What?"
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I believe you heard me the first time, Mr. Potter."
Harry nodded. "Y-yes. Th-thank you, Sir."
"Now, I want you to do something with this list," Snape said, handing it back to the teenager.
"Yes, Sir?"
"I want you to put it somewhere where you will see it during a time you might feel the urge to harm yourself. It could be in your room, your trunk, your potions kit, your bag- wherever. Just that it's in a place you can reference it."
Harry thought about it for a moment before nodding. "I can do that."
"Good. You did well, Harry. Nice job."
"Thank you, Sir!"
"Now, we have a bit of time before dinner, Go put that in the spot you choose and I will see you in the Great Hall."
"Yes, Sir! Thank you!" Harry said as he got up and hurried to his quarters.
Snape wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he smiled as Harry hurried away and for several minutes after. He was proud of the Gryffindor. It wasn't an easy road to get here but by Merlin, he did it.
After dinner, Harry went to Minerva's quarters for his lesson. It was a successful one and Harry managed to transform his last leg. He now had all arms and legs transformed and was going to work on the torso and head next.
"Splendid, Harry! Wonderful! I am so proud of you!" Minerva clapped as Harry changed back.
Harry smiled at her in reply, panting from the work.
"Sit, please. Let me get you a drink," she said as she got him some water.
"Thank you," Harry said gratefully.
Minerva allowed Harry to catch his breath before asking him about the other day.
"Harry, if you're comfortable, I wanted to ask about what happened on Wednesday."
Harry nodded. He grabbed a biscuit from the table and bit into it, thinking. When he swallowed he started to talk. "I had a nightmare that night. And I was triggered in potions. We were doing a blood thickening potion."
Minerva felt her hands clenched that Harry was subjected to that, but stayed quiet.
"Snape threw me out, it was his cover o' course. I was pretty upset. I went to an alcove and then I went to Moony Da."
"You got help? Right away?" Minerva clarified.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Oh, Harry!" Minerva exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him. "I am so proud of you!"
"Grandma Min," Harry blushed.
"Don't you 'grandma' me. I am so proud of you and I'll always tell you that!"
"Well, thanks," Harry said.
"It takes courage and bravery to ask for help and you did that! Those are Gryffindor traits and I know you made Godric smile seeing those in action. Asking for help is one of the most courageous things you can do."
"It doesn't feel like it," Harry admitted.
"It's scary asking for help, yes?"
Harry thought for a moment before nodding.
"You have to have faith in yourself to ask the question, trust others not to judge, and believe in the person you're asking the question. It's very brave."
"Thank you, Grandma Min."
Minerva smiled and brought up Quidditch knowing that it was an easier topic for Harry to discuss.
They talked for another half an hour before she sent him to bed but as Harry was leaving, Minerva stopped him. "And Harry?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Remember that whenever you need to- reach out. Have courage. Ask for help."
"I will," Harry promised her.
Minerva gave him a peck on the cheek and sent him out so he would get back before curfew.
The pride for her little lion knew no bounds.
Harry had his Occlumency lesson with Snape the next day. He was rather nervous about it but still managed to convince Remus and Sirius that he could walk there by himself. As he was entering the dungeons, Draco was leaving.
"Hey, Harry. What're you doing down here?"
"Lesson with Snape," Harry replied, not wanting to go into much detail.
Luckily, Draco didn't bother him about it. He nodded and said, "Let me know how it goes. You doing alright?"
Harry smiled at Draco's concern. "Yeah, I'm good, Dray. Thanks. Are you?"
Draco smiled now. "I'm good. Just headed to the kitchens and to check in with Madame Pomfrey."
"Have fun," Harry waved as the two boys separated.
This gave Harry enough confidence to make the rest of the way to Snape's office.
"Harry, come in," Snape said as he answered the door.
"Hello, Professor," Harry said, wiping his hands on his robes.
"Good evening, Harry. Please, take a seat."
Harry did as he was told and watched as Snape sat across from him. "You don't have to be so nervous. It'll be just like what we did before."
Harry took a deep breath. "You're right."
"I'll begin when you're ready."
Harry nodded and took a few more deep breaths before making eye contact with Snape and nodding again.
Snape tried to enter Harry's mind. He made his way in before Harry's defenses were up. Harry quickly pushed him out and got on his broom and started to ride.
Harry felt Snape's pushing become harder over time. Harry was getting tired, but he hadn't given in yet.
Surprisingly, however, Snape pulled out after a particularly hard nudge and helped Harry come back to reality.
"What happened? Did I do something wrong?" Harry asked, confused.
Severus shook his head. "No, not at all. You withstood several intense attacks on your mind. I think that's enough for today."
"Are you sure? I'm sure you can go harder," Harry pressed.
The ex-Death Eater smirked. "I certainly can. However, I think that you have shown considerable progress and we're both getting tired. Take the win, Harry. Not every lesson has to end with me entering your mind. Let's spare you the trauma today."
Harry heard the sarcasm in Snape's voice, but also knew it was true. "Thanks, Professor."
"Of course. Now, let's get you to your godparent's quarters."
"I'm fine," Harry insisted as he stood up and stumbled before catching himself on the desk.
"Exactly my point," Snape drawled before helping Harry stand up. They walked silently to the quarters. Severus was thinking and Harry was plain exhausted.
When they got to the door, Remus and Sirius were there to greet them.
"Is everything alright?" Sirius asked as he threw open the door.
Snape sneered at him. "Harry did well. He worked hard and needs to rest."
I'm-" Harry started to protest.
"Make sure he rests," Severus added, stressing his words.
"We will," Remus assured him, his hand on Sirius' shoulder
"Come on, Cub," Remus said gently as he ushered Harry into their quarters.
"Thank you, Severus," Remus said, giving him a small nod.
Severus returned the nod and spun on his heels, turning away.
"He didn't even break into any memories! I'm fine! Promise!" Harry weakly insisted.
"You're not fine. You're exhausted."
"But I'm good!" Harry tried to protest once more as Remus tucked him into bed.
"It's not just your mental state," Remus reminded Harry softly, brushing the fringe away from his face. "If I had a broken arm would I be fine?"
"No," Harry yawned.
"Exactly. Now, get some sleep," Remus continued softly, kissing his forehead.
Harry hummed and nodded. His bed was so soft. He closed his eyes and felt something furry curl up next to him. He half opened them and saw Padfoot.
"Nigh', Padfoo'," Harry mumbled as he closed his eyes again.
Harry couldn't even try to fight the sleep that was rapidly overtaking him. Tomorrow was a whole new battle but for now, he'd rest.
Harry only had a small nightmare that night (his walls were a bit weaker from being tested during his lesson with Snape) and was comforted by Padfoot. When Harry awoke the next day, the sun was streaming through his window.
Harry groaned and rolled over. He stayed in bed for a few minutes before getting up and making his way to the kitchen.
Remus and Sirius were already done with their breakfast but were reading at the table sipping their tea.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," Sirius teased.
"Morning," Harry said bashfully, ducking his head.
"Ignore him, Harry. I'm glad you slept. Let me get you some breakfast," Remus said, getting up.
Harry sat down and pumpkin juice appeared in front of him and then a plate of breakfast.
"Courtest of the House Elves," Remus said as he slid into his own seat.
"Thanks, Moony Da," Harry said, scarfing it down.
"What're we doing today?" Harry asked in between bites.
Sirius scoffed and Remus raised his eyebrow and said, "Taking it easy."
"Moony Da-" Harry started to protest, putting down his fork.
"I thought you'd disagree. I can have Madame Pomfrey check your magic levels?"
Harry huffed. "No, Sir."
"We'll go on a walk later," Remus said.
"Maybe take a few laps with a broom," Sirius added, getting a smile out of Harry.
"Can I see Draco today?" Harry asked.
Sirius and Remus exchanged a look and then Remus nodded. "An hour- tops."
"Thanks, Moony Da!"
"And you're resting afterward. Maybe after lunch," Sirius added.
Harry didn't love that but he knew it was the best he would get.
"What about after breakfast?" Harry asked.
"You're going to do some homework," Remus said.
"No!" Harry whined.
Sirius and Remus both raised an eyebrow and Harry huffed. He didn't agree but angrily stuffed a piece of egg in his mouth.
"It won't take too much energy. Just do your best. We've got to keep those grades up," Remus said.
Harry huffed again.
"Harry," Sirius said with a slight edge to his voice.
"Yes, Dadfoot. Yes, Moony Da," Harry grudgingly agreed.
It was silent for the rest of breakfast until Harry stomped off to do work.
"I don't like his attitude, but I can't blame him. We never did homework on a Saturday morning," Sirius told Remus.
"You have a point. I just want him to get some done. He is getting busy again and I don't want him to become overwhelmed."
"I don't want him to either, but remember that they're here and learning how to manage their time. No one else has their parents reminding them."
"You're right," Remus said, conceding. "How long until I go in there?"
"Give him half an hour, then you can stop him. He might as well do something."
Remus nodded and both went back to their papers, but Remus was ready when the half an hour was up.
He knocked on Harry's door and when he was allowed in, he saw Harry sitting at his desk.
"Hi, Harry."
"Hi," Harry mumbled.
"I know you're not ready to talk right now- and that's okay. I just wanted to apologize and to tell you that you don't have to do homework anymore."
"What?"
Remus gave him a small smile. "I was talking to Dadfoot and we realized that we never did homework on Saturday mornings. We want what's best for you but sometimes we forget to let you live your own life. I'm sorry."
Harry smiled and got up to hug Remus. "Thanks, Moony Da. I appreciate it."
"Now, would you like me to ask Professor Snape if Draco can come up?"
"Merlin, Moony Da! This isn't some playdate!" Harry cried, blushing.
Remus just smirked and Harry sighed. "Yes, please."
"Alright. I'll let you know what happens."
Harry nodded. He went back to his essay and worked on it until Remus said that he fire called Snape and that Draco would be up shortly.
Draco was excited to see Harry and relieved that he was doing well.
"Hi, Harry," Draco said as he entered Harry's room.
"Hey, Draco."
"Were you okay earlier this week? I didn't really get to check in with you earlier."
Harry nodded. "Yeah. I was triggered, but you knew that. Moony Da was really happy you took my quill away."
Draco felt his chest puff out with pride.
"I went to Moony Da, though, so I was okay. I'm just stuck here today because I had a lesson with Snape yesterday and the adults think I'm tired or something." Harry rolled his eyes.
Draco smirked and then took a good look at him. "You do look a bit peaky."
"Not you too!" Harry groaned.
"I am working on the spell for magic levels and exhaustion. Can I try it on you? Please?"
Harry sighed. "Only because you're learning."
Draco nodded and pulled his wand out. He concentrated as he said the words.
"Huh," Draco said.
"What?" Harry asked.
"Lemme try again."
Harry nodded and Draco once again cast the spell.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"Well, it does say you're rather magically tired."
"Really?" Harry asked.
"Yeah. You've got to rest. If Madame Pomfrey saw this she would throw a fit and strap you to a bed."
"Draco," Harry said, rolling his eyes.
"Seriously! I know I did it right, too."
"Okay, fine. But don't leave yet. Give me some time away from my parents!"
Draco chuckled. "Okay."
The boys talked about a variety of things before Draco left, but he did tell Remus that he cast the spell to check on Harry once he left Harry's bedroom.
Remus thanked him and went in to check on Harry himself.
Harry knew Remus knew as soon as he saw his face. "Oh, Merlin. Moony Da! I'm fine! Really!"
"Harry, the spell doesn't lie," Remus told him, casting the spell himself.
Harry huffed and crossed his arm.
"In bed, please."
"I thought we were going to do some things," Harry weakly protested.
"We will. But first, rest," Remus said, tucking him in, just like last night.
"I'm fine!"
"We'll talk about that later. For now, just rest."
Harry opened his mouth to argue, but a yawn came out.
"Sweet dreams, Cub," Remus said as he kissed Harry.
Harry mumbled back before closing his eyes. He was tired and maybe a nap wouldn't hurt?
Remus shut the door behind him and went back to Sirius.
"So?" Sirius asked, looking up.
"He's low. About 10% lower than he should be. He's resting now."
"Stubborn pup," Sirius said, shaking his head.
"Have you noticed him saying that he's fine again more lately?" Remus asked.
Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I have. I was going to mention it to you. He doesn't seem to be using it quite like before, but I don't want him to get in the habit of it."
Remus nodded. "I'll talk to him about it. For now, he gets to rest."
"Absolutely," Sirius agreed.
Harry ended up resting most of the day and as much as Remus and Sirius love to be with Harry, they enjoyed a quiet day just the two of them. For Monday comes quickly and with Monday comes chaos. For now, it was just the wolf and star (wolfstar, as Lily called them), and that was lovely.
Alternatives to harming yourself:
1. Talk to someone you care about and/or trust
2. Exercise
3. Get outside and get some fresh air
4. Have a warm beverage
5. Write something down
6. Go to therapy/ contact your therapist
7. Be with your pet or another animal
8. Take a nap
9. Play or fiddle with a fidget
10. Do something artistic (draw, paint, use clay, play-doh, fingerpaint, etc)
11. Play a game
12. Bake or cook something you like to eat
13. Mindfulness, breathing exercises, meditation (variety of strategies including naming something of each color of the rainbow, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 with your senses, box breathing, rainbow breathing, 5 finger breathing, etc)
14. Listen to music
15. Ice cubes (hold them, put them where you want to harm yourself)