Mmmm. Hehe. You might have seen coming whatever is going to happen. Couldn't resist. Hope you enjoy anyway :p
I walked like a ghost in the corridors. The strain of having to watch my ever thought – for a brain like mine – had exhausted me. Adding two hours in Orson's office, dealing with his horrible mood, had finished me. My mind was wandering to and fro without purpose, free of its shackles while the future plan already took form in my head on a second thread of thoughts.
Ten months from now, we were supposed to meet the emperor. It couldn't happen; I hoped we would both be gone … free. Then, Elya would do whatever pleased her, and I would get Jyn and flee to the senators of Aldeeran with my knowledge. Would she be amenable to stay with us and work for the Rebellion ? That is, if they didn't kill me first ? I wasn't as naïve as I used to be, after all. Perhaps I should keep Elya away from them, give her a chance at a normal life. Hidden from the empire ?
Could normal life even exist for her ? Would Krennic hunt her down like he had hunted me down all the way to Lah'mu ? Was there anywhere in the universe where Elya could even be safe ? And most of all, was it my concern altogether ? My priority lay with Jyn… so why couldn't I accept the loss of my colleague ? I snorted. Not so naïve, but still a humanist. Despite his manipulations, Krennic would never take this from me.
As I passed by Elya's door, I wondered if I should knock or let her rest. My legs refused to leave, but I was exhausted, and so was she. We could debrief later on, right? A fond smile lifted the corner of my mouth; little did she know I had used her to keep Vader from sensing my moods. Whenever he fixed his attention upon me, I replaced my current thoughts with the longing to detach Elya's long hair from the constrictive braid, and run my hands in her loose strands.
It had been close, so close… I didn't know if Darth Vader suspected our defection; I had been ready to die today. But not ready to lose her. And that despicable Sith had made really clear that he would hold her responsible; my failure would bring her to death. His cold presence had seeped into my bones, and I couldn't get rid of it. My body still shook.
That terror taught me much; Elya meant much more to me than I dared admitting. She had become indispensable, like the air I breathed. And it didn't matter that this crippling terror had been for naught; a figment of our imagination, the result of a Sith's malevolent presence in the lab that had spread to the Kybers themselves. No, it didn't matter. For it had exposed, at last, the threads that linked us now.
Yet, I wasn't about to burden her with such feelings. I was already so proud of myself for acknowledging them; my brain usually kept deep attachment hidden behind figures, equations and behaviour analysis. Lyra would be so proud of me for understanding my predicament. Lyra… With a sigh, I dropped my head, and let my exhausted body rest upon the cold duracrete wall of the corridor. Wherever she was, I hoped Lyra was with the Force. Happy, and looking after Jyn in her own way.
The burden we shared, the stress we were under had tied Elya and myself. Some link, much stronger than might have developed under normal circumstances. And that bond grew with ease, trust replacing wariness as we worked towards a common goal, the fear of being discovered always there, always twisting our guts. Duress had caused time to constrict, feelings to take root too fast for my comprehension. I was well aware of it; my guilt towards Lyra held no boundaries.
Yet… I couldn't ignore it. My affection for Elya crushed the walls of professional care with too much ease to feel comfortable with. I could only hope that Lyra would forgive me … for she had shown me what it meant to be supported, loved and cared for. And I didn't want to be alone. Not again, not now when the future of the universe took shape beneath my hands. If my lovely wife had been here … but she wasn't there. Lyra was but a memory, and the strength that infused me.
Perhaps I could knock on that door, we would share a drink; Elya's company kept the nightmares at bay. And given the sheer amount of fear I had been submitted to, I had no doubt they would come and plague my rest. Decision taken, I passed my hand beside her door's detector. It whooshed open, and I stepped in warily. Was she sleeping already?
"Galen!"
The door had barely closed behind me that a body crashed into me. Elya's hug was fierce, and desperate. The feeling of her body against mine was so foreign, but very welcome. It took the coldness away. I wrapped my arms around her slender silhouette, crushing her to my chest in an attempt to calm my racing heart. Her small frame shook against me.
"Galen," she choked. "I need air."
"Sorry, sorry," I whispered, relaxing my grip.
And my voice seemed to soothe her a little, for she released a great sigh. For once, I was too exhausted to be reasonable, and I buried my nose in her hair. My fingers dug in the unbound strands that cascaded down her back; I inhaled deeply to quell my own fears.
At last, Elya shifted in my arms, and I reluctantly let go to watch her tense features. Her tiny hands framed my face, warm fingers upon my skin as she caught my gaze. I froze; she had never touched my face, never so freely. The relief swimming in her green eyes, though, told me she'd feared just as much as I.
"Thank the Force, and any other god in the galaxy. I was so afraid… When Krennic asked you in his office, I wondered if Vader would… I…"
She was shaking anew and I tightened my hold on her shoulders.
"I'm all right, Elya. It's all right, we are safe… for the moment."
The young woman shook her head and I frowned when she averted her eyes. She took a step back, followed by a deep breath that caused her chest to stutter. Reluctantly, I allowed her to break the contact.
"I need to tell you something," she stated, dejected.
I nodded, nonplussed by the unsteadiness of her voice.
"I had this dream on the water moon. He killed you. Vader had killed you with a force choke and I… I tried to follow your instructions, but I failed. So I tried to run…"
She swallowed thickly then.
"Krennic got me, and he killed me. I didn't manage to get to Jyn…"
Her beautiful green eyes misted over and she blinked tears. I inhaled deeply, regret washing over me. My promise had laid such a weight upon her shoulders; asking her to care for my child. But Jyn was my responsibility, not hers. My hand lifted in defeat, and I was surprised when Elya reached out to take it. My emotions were all over the place this evening; I had not felt so helpless, so confused and so relieved since Jyn's birth.
And even then, Lyra had handled it so very well. An unbreakable pillar. Yet here, now, I was the older one. The sturdier of us two. So I tugged on Elya's hand, and grabbed her other arm.
"We'll get through this. We'll get through … together."
My words held such conviction that I almost believed them. Almost. Fortunately, Elya did, for her eyes softened. Mesmerised, I couldn't drive my gaze away, as if I saw her for the very first time. The emerald streaks in her irises, the high cheekbones, flushed with anguish, the creamy paleness of her skin, that lonely tear that created a trail of light upon her skin … and the dark rose of her quivering lips. Her lips…
On a whim, I bent over and captured them in my own. She gasped, but didn't pull away, offering her sweetness willingly. My arms snaked around her lithe form, crushing her against me for fear she would escape and leave me alone, once more, in the world. My heart swelled in my chest, my breath coming short.
So much for keeping my feelings secret.
Did she return them? Her mouth opened to welcome me, and I let my tongue take a swipe. Like a forbidden fruit – the meiloorun – she tasted sweet under my lips. My soul had taken control of my body. There wasn't enough air in those close quarters but I kissed her as if I meant to die this very evening; she kissed me back just as fervently, her hand searching my nape. We stumbled back until my knees hit the mattress, lips still locked in our steamy dance.
Joy and grief mingled; I had not touched a woman since Lyra, except to ground my fellow scientist with a shoulder rub. My heart beat so wildly that I wondered if my chest would sustain the onslaught of emotions. Where Lyra was all reassurance and strength, my need for Elya had taken a more desperate, more passionate turn.
I divested her compliant body from clothes, my mouth too busy tasting her to appreciate the beauty of her curves. I just couldn't let go, too far gone to care. How long had it been seen the animal within was in control, overriding my mind ?
Sensations overwhelmed me. Hands … fingertips, skin… My body was humming, alive once more. Everywhere she touched, a tingling trail burnt, begging for more.
Our lovemaking was swift, desperate and passionate. A coupling of two souls who had just realised how precarious life was, how they were wasting their little time together. My groans seemed foreign to my ears as I pressed my body into hers, but her moans of delight filled me with liquid fire. She was so tiny in my arms, yet so powerful. She welcomed me as if I belonged, and I did not rest until I was satisfied that she wouldn't go anywhere.
For once, that ever-busy brain flatlined. I was too lost in the throes of passion to even register it.
Then, when both of us were spent, I gathered Elya against my chest and covered our intertwined bodies. Her quarters were not meant for two people; the bed barely contained us. It was just as well; I had no intention to let go. Her breaths evened out easily enough. And I, for once, slept soundly, rid of the nightmares that plagued my lonely nights.
So. Erm. Reviews ?