A/N: I know Connor's birthday is said to be April 4th, but I disagree with the timing of his conception.
I wanted to make travel times coincide with actual history, therefore, I moved it to May.
I kept the day. That it's also Star Wars day is a coincidence.

On May 4th, I went about my usual routine as if nothing were different. I honestly didn't know there was anything special about that day. Not until Connor and I were practicing and he let it slip that it was his birthday. He said it as if it didn't matter. I merely made a comment about him being sixteen and he corrected me.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" I asked him.

Connor shrugged. "I did not think it worth mentioning."

I frowned at the amount of truth he put into the words. "Regardless, now I have to make you a cake."

"I do not need a cake," he said.

"Yes, you do," I argued. "Everyone needs cake on their birthday. Especially a chocolate cake."

Connor grinned. "You only want chocolate."

I agreed. It was my favorite. "Chocolate's great," I told him. "That's why everyone says it's a substitute for sex."

Connor's face turned red and he looked away quickly. He always reacted that way when I said things that could be considered provocative. I wondered if it was just because I was a woman or if he'd really never heard things like that.

As time wore on, I began to wonder if there were another reason his embarrassment around me. The day we set up my bed was the first time I considered that Connor might actually be attracted to me. I had been sure Connor and I could set up the frame ourselves, without Lance's help. The woodworker gave in only after repeated assurances on my part. So Connor and I worked alone to put the frame together and set it in place. Unfortunately, after it was together, I decided I didn't like where it was positioned. Connor got irritated and I told him I didn't need his help to move it. But he had helped anyhow. I pushed from one side as he pushed from the other. Progress was halted when my side got caught on a loose floorboard. By that time, I was tired and hot. And the frame was extremely heavy. Lance had crafted it all out of solid oak. It was bulky and sturdy. I had to ask Connor to help me lift it enough to get the leg free. His idea was to stand behind me and lift from the top post instead of from the lower frame.

It worked. But the position we used wasn't exactly ideal. Not for friends, anyway. I know I couldn't have smelled very good, covered in sweat as I was. And I'm by no means beautiful. My appearance is average, if anything. But it was the first time Connor and I had been physically close to each other in such a way. I guessed that was why he got aroused. I'm sure he had not meant for it to happen. But he was young. I think most seventeen year old males don't need a sexy situation to achieve an erection. They just need a situation.

In any event, I was quiet as Connor backed up and turned away from me. I knew any comment would only embarrass him more. I really didn't believe he had a reason to be ashamed. I found it flattering and began to look at him differently.

It was around then I realized Connor was a good looking man. I began to watch him often. In doing so, I realized that he sometimes watched me, too. He tried to hide that he did, but I would catch him glancing as I bent over or stretched. I admit I tried to get his attention after that. I'd sometimes go without wearing my bra or walk around upstairs in nothing but my tank top and shorts before bed. I also found excuses to get close to him. I'd brush by him in the hallway even thought there was plenty of room for us to pass. I'd sat right beside him and look over his shoulder while he read the news every evening, often wearing my bed clothes. And I began to get handsy with him. Not in an inappropriate way, but I'd touch him often on the arm or hand. A few times I put my arm around his shoulders when we were walking home from the woods. He didn't really discourage me. He never reciprocated it, but he allowed it. The faint, abashed smiles he would give me were enough to let me know he liked the attention.

As the weather grew increasingly more pleasant, I started doing more work outside. I cleaned the stables, tended the yard and washed the outside of the manor. I also began to take some of the laundry to the creek to wash it. It was a good excuse to go swimming. I'd clean the clothes, lay them out to dry then stripe down to my underwear and bath in the hip high water. I always brought a blanket to use as a towel, which I'd lay on for a while and let the sun warm my skin. Once as I did this, I dozed. And I dreamed.

In my vision, I was lost in the darkness. I was feeling my way around a rock wall and eventually reached the end. There was something odd about the stone in front of me. It gave off a strange glow. I noticed a hole and reached out for it.

I need the key, I thought.

I awoke, startled and with a sense of urgency I didn't understand. I sat up abruptly, gasping. It was then that I noticed Connor kneeling next to me. His expression was one of concern and confusion.

"Faith," he spoke soothingly. "Are you alright?"

I nodded quickly, though I didn't really feel alright. I was damp, but it wasn't from the dip in the pool. I was covered in a cold sweat, as if I had a fever. My heart was racing. I rubbed my face and looked down to see that I was still in my panties and bra. I pulled the cover around me so that Connor would not feel uncomfortable. He watched me intently.

"You were having a bad dream," he said.

I chuckled dryly at his obvious deduction, but said nothing.

"Would you like to tell me about it?"

I looked at Connor and shook my head. I knew he was trying to be kind and attentive, but the fear was beginning to fade and talking about it would only revive the unpleasantness.

He nodded in acceptance and began to stand up. I took his arm and he paused, looking at me. If he expected me to speak, he was disappointed. I hadn't planned to say anything; didn't know what to say. I only knew I didn't want to be alone right now. I moved closer to him and put my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest. I listened to his heart beat. It was comforting and rythmatic.

I was afraid Connor would pull away when I felt him tense. But after a few seconds, he relaxed. He rested his weight on his knees, moving just enough to lean toward me, and held me. It felt so great to be close to him, to feel his arms around me. I never wanted to let him go. I realized how much I cared about him. I realized I was falling in love with him.

Connor began to stroke my hair softly and slowly. I wondered how he felt about me. I knew he cared. But not in what way. Did he think of me as a sister? Or as a friend? Was his attraction to me only out of convenience? Or was it genuine interest? I began to wish silently that he loved me as much as I loved him. I wanted him to tell me how he felt. I was too afraid to express my own feelings. I wasn't sure I could even put them into words.

I wrapped my arms tighter around him, getting as close as physically possible. Connor responded by sliding his arm under my knees and lifting me up. He straitened his legs and sat me on his lap, pulling me close. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He smelled like a combination of sweat and pine needles. I loved it.

I looked up at his face and saw he was watching me. Our eyes met and knew he was thinking the same thing I was. I also knew he wouldn't act on his desire to kiss me. So I kissed him.

My soul sang as our lips met. My hands went behind his head, my fingers tangling in his hair, and I pressed my mouth harder to his. Connor's hesitation faltered and he kissed me back. His hands caressed my jaw. I parted my lips enough to rub his with my tongue. Connor allowed me entry. I kissed him greedily, as though I were starving for his affection. I nibbled his lower lip and caressed his teeth and every part of the inside of his mouth I could reach with my tongue.

Connor began to mimic my movements. It created a longing in me I'd never felt before. No one had ever kissed me in such a way. Nor had I ever kissed anyone like this before. In a way, we were both virgins. I'd never given myself to anyone the way I was willing to give myself to him.

I paused for air, then lowered my mouth to his neck and began to suck his pulse, caressing his skin with my teeth and tongue. I could feel Connor's arousal at the intimacy and it fed my own desire. I removed my lips from him long enough to kneel in front of him. The blanket constricted movement as I attempted to straddle him, so I tossed it aside.

Connor's eyes searched me for a moment as I rested my wight on his hips. His lips parted, but I didn't give him a chance to speak. I kissed him ferociously. He was thrown off balance by my forcefulness, placing his hand on the ground behind him to keep us both upright. I didn't pause. My hands went to his shirt, massaging the muscles beneath it. Connor's free hand went behind my head, cradling it. He returned the kiss the best way he knew how, using what I had taught him to subdue me. I locked my arms around his neck and let him do as he wanted with me. When I released a moan into his mouth, Connor regained his strength. He leaned forward, tilting me back. His arms held me against him. His kiss was long and passionate.

I was dismayed when Connor broke the connection a moment later. I leaned in to renew it, but he backed away from me. He stared at me for a while, saying nothing. His brown eyes gazed at me with repressed desire.

"Faith..."

I knew what he was going to say. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to kiss him forever. I wanted to spend the rest of my days wrapped in his embrace with his lips on mine. It was a wonderful dream.

But life wasn't a dream.

I pulled myself from his embrace and stood up. I began to dress. My heart was still pounding, my breathing erratic. I could still taste his breath on my lips. The weight of what had happened made me feel like crying. I had destroyed our friendship. Things would never be the same between us. The bond we'd forged was forever warped.

I could feel Connor watching me, but couldn't bring myself to look at him. I gathered up the laundry and went home, blinking back tears.