A.N. It's later than I wanted, but here is chapter four! Writing is going a bit slow because I'm having to focus on my actual freelance writing career-no work, no pay, and since I now owe a chunk of change to my neighbors to ensure that my utilities are on my property, I'm pretty busy with that. (Also, making sure that my father isn't going to die a slow horrible death and may be able to be treated with surgery. Fun times.) But I have the whole story mapped out, so I'll be working on it in my spare time.
STORY NOTES: This is a chapter that does resolve several issues, but a few details are deliberately left vague. They WILL be cleared up in future chapters, so don't think that I'm ignoring them! As always, feel free to slide over to shikonstar on tumblr if you want to talk fics or Inu/Kag. I'll be posting original fics/ficlets there in the future, as well as random previews.
The drive to Kikyo's apartment wasn't very long, but you could tell that it was a different class of neighborhood than the one he had just left. His beloved Amigo was getting nasty looks, and Inuyasha found himself wishing he hadn't washed the mud off of it recently.
The looks would only intensify once he got out of the car. If any of them found out about his family connections, their attitude would do a one-eighty, and he was never sure if the hate or hypocrisy bothered him more.
Today that question took a backseat to the dilemma he was currently facing. Kikyo had always been the one to break things off, and he had never turned her down when she decided to get back together. It didn't help that their relationship was….well, not exactly a standard romance. In fact, it was basically platonic with a thin facade. Now that he was older, he realized that their reasons for getting together in the first place weren't healthy or realistic, but he had never been a quitter, and he had never wanted to hurt her.
To be honest, he didn't even think losing him was going to bother her—it would be more of a shock at the abrupt change and a hit to the ego that she was the one being turned down for once. He wasn't looking forward to this, but it was the mature thing to do.
Well. The mature thing would have been getting out of the car right away instead of sitting there for nearly twenty minutes, but it was progress.
With a sigh, he stepped out into the street and slowly made his way to the apartment. He had to wait to be buzzed in, and as he walked the familiar path to her unit, he struggled to come up with the best way to do this. By the time he reached the door, he was still drawing a blank.
His ears picked up on the steady, quiet footsteps several moments before the door opened. Kikyo stood before him in a slim-fitting pencil skirt and a silky blue top, the lightly ballooned sleeves gathered at her thin wrists. Her hair was up in a sleek bun, exposing the delicate pearl and gold earrings he had given her for one birthday or another.
Kikyo gave him a small smile, which froze slightly as she took in his outfit. "I thought we might go out to dinner, but I suppose you would rather stay in?" She asked, stepping aside to let him through the door.
Inuyasha resisted a sigh. Right out of the gate, the subtle criticism started. Kikyo was always wanting him to 'better himself' and to 'live up to his potential.' He knew she meant well, but her idea of the kind of life he needed to live and his were wildly different. There was always going to be a certain amount of roughness to him, and the constant effort to polish him always left him feeling drained and inadequate.
"Yeah, I don't think we'll make dinner. I just stopped by because we needed to talk," he said, sitting gingerly on the tan sofa.
Kikyo perched on the other cushion, crossing her legs and raising an eyebrow at his answer.
The eyebrow. Fuck. He felt condemned already.
"I see. Something tells me you have something important to say, Inuyasha."
His hands tightened on his knees, and he had to make a concentrated effort not to prick holes in his jeans. This was harder than he thought. He was confident in his choice, but he had spent years tiptoeing around Kikyo's feelings, and it went against habit to be as blunt with her as he was with others.
"It's….about your text. I….damn. I don't—I don't think it's a good idea," he managed to say, his eyes darting around the room like a trapped animal.
Kikyo frowned, the shell pink gloss reflecting in the light as her lips parted in shock. "I don't understand," she said quietly.
Inuyasha bit back a frustrated growl. Of course, she understood—Kikyo wasn't stupid. She understood, she just didn't want to hear what he was saying.
"I don't think getting back together would be a good idea," he said, his voice becoming firm. "We keep going in circles without ever gettin' anywhere. I just don't think we have a future, and I'm pretty sure you've always known that. To be honest, we probably should've ended things years ago."
"Are you saying….did I do something?" She asked, her eyes becoming large and doe-like, liquid gathering at the corners.
Oh no. Shit no. This was like killing Bambi's mother. Not even a quick shot to the head. This was like gutting her with his claws. He wasn't made for this. Fuck. Fuckityfuck. Be smooth. Be diplomatic.
"No! It's not—-look. We always come back to this point. And it's like, like bein' hungry, right? And you stand in the kitchen for a while, but nothin' really appeals to you. So you pull out a frozen burrito, even though you don't particularly want it, and you know it ain't gonna end well. And you're not even sure why you bought the burrito in the first place. After a while, you find yourself wondering if it's just the same burrito over and over," he explained, proud of himself for thinking up the analogy on the fly.
"Are you really comparing me to a frozen burrito?" Kikyo asked dryly, rubbing the bridge of her nose as if warding off a migraine.
Sensing danger, he quickly tried to backpedal. "What? No! I mean, yes? Maybe? Not one of those cheap ones—more like the fancy kind you can get at…..I'm just diggin' the hole deeper, aren't I?" He asked, his ears flattening tightly to his skull.
"It's honest, at least," she sighed, her eyes drying quickly. "And I suppose it might be better to end things before I slip to the rank of gas station hot dog."
There was no safe reply to that, so Inuyasha settled for stretching his lips in the parody of a smile and waited for her to continue.
Gracefully, Kikyo rose from the sofa and moved over to the window, where she busied herself by turning one of the leafy potted plants to ensure that it wouldn't grow towards the window.
"It's Kagome, isn't it?" She asked, sending a small, sad smile over her shoulder.
"Kagome?" He asked, his voice rising several octaves. Wasn't there a rule about not bringing up your Current Love Interest to your Past Love Interest? Or was that the other way around?
"Yes, Kagome. Kagome Higurashi. Your best friend since middle school? The one that was always in love with you? That Kagome."
Inuyasha covered his face with both hands and threw his head back on the cushion. "Did everybody fuckin' see that but me?"
Lifting her hand to cover her mouth, Kikyo gave a short laugh. "I was always surprised you didn't pick up on it," she said before the smile slipped from her face, and she became more serious. "And to tell the truth, I was less than kind to her because of it."
With a frown, Inuyasha sat up and leaned forward, his ears pricking up at her tone. "What's that supposed to mean? I don't remember you ever bein' anything but polite to Kagome."
Kikyo had to roll her eyes; men just didn't understand the intricacies involved in the way women fought one another. It was the difference between a hammer and a scalpel.
"Because I was subtle, Inuyasha. I would say things where she would understand the meaning and tone of my voice, but you wouldn't. And, like most girls, when I chose to be more direct, I did so in the privacy of the women's restroom. Why do you think women travel in herds for protection?"
He could feel the muscles of his jaw tensing as he narrowed his eyes at her. "What did you say to her?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He was suffering from information overload, but he had a sick need to discover everything he had missed over the years. Just how much damage had Kagome taken because of her love for him?
Kikyo had the grace to look ashamed, her usually perfect posture hunching slightly as she recalled her unkind words. "I made it quite clear that you would never choose her as long as you had me. I drew attention to our similarities and told her that if you were ever to be with her, it would only be because you were using her as a substitute for me."
Inuyasha quite literally could not take her words sitting down. He shot to his feet, nearly shoving the heavy sofa over as he stalked over to the wall, where he rested his fists and forehead while he tried to regain some measure of control.
"That was a shitty thing to do, Kikyo," he growled out, his voice so low and gravelly that he knew his eyes were probably tinged red. He heard the small gasp behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Kagome never did a damn thing to deserve that!"
"Don't you think I don't know that?" Kikyo cried, her voice surprisingly thick with anger.
The tone of her voice was so shocking that Inuyasha had to turn his head and was taken aback by the deep scowl on her face-Kikyo rarely showed outward signs of strong emotion, and he didn't think he had ever seen her this mad before.
"I'm not proud of any of this, you know. I was young and insecure, and I handled things poorly. It's been weighing on me for the past year, and I know that I owe her an apology," Kikyo explained as she paced back and forth.
Inuyasha squinted at her, trying to puzzle out the motivation behind her emotional display. Kikyo never did anything without a reason.
"Why are you tellin' me all of this?" He asked, turning to face her but staying by the wall.
Kikyo stopped pacing and took a few deep breaths, her features becoming more composed. "Because if you're going to make this work with her, you need to know these things, so you don't accidentally reinforce the garbage I put in her head."
One of Inuyasha's eyebrows twitched up nearly to his hairline. "Are you seriously tryin' to help me with Kagome?"
"I'm sure that's not the reaction you were probably expecting, but yes," Kikyo agreed, returning to her seat on the sofa.
"Why?"
Kikyo stared at her hands while she gathered her thoughts before speaking. "Several reasons. The first one is the fact that you were right earlier. The relationship between you and I...I'm not sure it ever had much of a chance of succeeding, and over time it's evolved into a routine to avoid being alone."
Inuyasha grunted. That more or less summed it up, but he was surprised that she agreed. "What else?"
Kikyo finally looked him in the eye, her expression pensive. "Do you remember when she left?"
Inuyasha gave a brisk nod. It had happened so fast. There had been hardly any warning, and he barely had a chance to say goodbye. For the longest time afterward, he would find himself in front of the shrine steps, only to remember that Kagome was no longer there to visit. Even going out with Sango and Miroku had lost much of its appeal.
"You changed. Oh, you didn't wallow in depression-it wasn't anything as overt as that. But...you withdrew a bit. Your enthusiasm waned, and you expressed yourself even less than before. And you always gave off the impression that you were waiting for something. Any time we went somewhere with your friends, your eyes would scan the room, and there would be one moment, one very intense moment, of disappointment."
He hadn't realized it had been so obvious. He had never been one for discussing his feelings, and with Kagome gone, he had lost the one person who could consistently motivate him to make the effort. If anything, it was most likely her influence that allowed those emotions to rise to the surface.
"Didn't know it was that noticeable," he muttered.
"It was, and I knew Kagome was the reason. It was why I ended things the last time. If you showed more emotion over that than you did for the relationship you were in, then how viable was that relationship?"
"Kikyo, I tried—"
She raised her hand to cut him off. "I know. But Inuyasha, could you have ever been truly happy in a relationship built mainly on pity and obligation? I let you go because I knew that, eventually, you would have to make a choice. And you've chosen Kagome."
"I have," he agreed, not wanting to leave any room for doubt.
"Then you should probably go tell her, don't you think?" Kikyo asked.
While Inuyasha was relieved that Kikyo was accepting this so well, he still felt like he was about five steps behind in this situation.
"It's not gonna be that easy," he admitted, running his fingers through his bangs. "Miroku and Sango not-so-gently brought to my attention how badly I've messed up over the years."
Kikyo tipped her head to the side. "By continuing to date me, or something else?"
The noise he made was more bark than laugh. "There was a list. And I'm pretty sure it was the Cliffs Notes version."
"Oh, dear. That bad?"
"D'you remember that year you broke things off, and we made up at Christmas?"
Kikyo pondered that before nodding.
"I apparently had the bright idea to take Kagome out to a really nice place for dinner—like I said, it was around Christmas, and I wanted to do somethin' special—and I took that bracelet I got for you."
"Please tell me this isn't going where I think this is going," Kikyo asked, wearing the expression of one who is about to watch two trains collide.
"I put it on her wrist because I wanted to make sure it would fit you right, and I asked if it would be a good apology gift," he spat out, his ears flicking.
"And yet, you stand before me alive and in one piece. I'm only surprised that Sango didn't use her bare hands to turn you into literal dog chow."
Inuyasha snorted. "I don't doubt that she would've. Kagome probably stopped her."
"I see what you mean by having a difficult time ahead of you. What are you going to do?" Kikyo asked, folding her hands and leaning forward slightly as she waited for his answer.
"I wanna make her feel special. I….damn, I'm not sure how to say it. I want to give her the dating experience instead of just, well, plunking her down in the middle of a relationship that she might not decide she even wants. I'd like to give her some good memories for her to tell our pups about," Inuyasha finished a little wistfully, his eyes unfocused as he stared off at a point only he could see.
"You're already planning on children? You really have made up your mind," Kikyo said, eyebrows arching.
Her words brought Inuyasha back to the present, his face flushing as he realized not only what he said but who he said it to.
"I know it sounds fast, but-"
"But is it really? Or is it just that you're finally being honest with yourself?"
Flashes of repressed emotions and longing passed through Inuyasha's mind. There were so many things buried and hidden from himself that he knew he would have to sort through them more thoroughly later, but he knew what they meant. Although Kikyo had been understanding-hell, she was actually being helpful, there were some details he couldn't bring himself to tell her. They were private, and they also had the potential to cause her a certain amount of pointless pain. With this thought, he restrained his answer to a short nod.
"In that case," Kikyo said thoughtfully, "You need to make it very clear to her that you have ended things with me and have no regrets. Romantic gestures are all well and good, but she needs to feel secure. I think it would be best going forward, at least until Kagome is sure where she stands with you, if you and I don't have contact and that you mention me as little as possible."
"I can see that," Inuyasha agreed. "Don't wanna send her mixed signals. And the second part won't be a problem because I don't think I talk about you at all."
Kikyo gave him a look that faintly resembled the one Sango would give him before slapping the back of his head. "Tact and sensitivity. Look those up, and try to grow a bit of your own."
Belatedly it hit him how his previous statement sounded. "Ah, you know what I mean. It's not exactly like you've been pining for me all this time either, right?"
"I'm hardly the pining type," Kikyo pointed out.
No. No, she wasn't. And while Inuyasha wasn't so desperate for an ego boost that he wanted a woman to be miserable over him, he wanted to be wanted-having the other person want to be with you as much as you want to be with them was something he had discovered he needed in a relationship.
"Also," Kikyo added with a deep breath, lines of strain forming at the corners of her eyes, "You have my permission to give her the details of why we started seeing each other in the first place,"
Inuyasha nearly choked on his shock. This was a delicate subject, and he knew he needed to tread carefully-this was something that went far beyond anything that had ever been between him and Kikyo, and he wasn't particularly comfortable discussing it.
"Are you sure? I don't see why-"
"Because at some point, I believe that information may be needed. Tell me, do you think Kagome would use it against me?"
"No," he answered, not having even to consider the question. "She wouldn't do somethin' like that."
"Then there isn't a problem. I don't expect you just to divulge anything randomly, but if the need arises, you don't have to worry about betraying a confidence."
He still wasn't sure if it would be necessary, but he was relieved that he wouldn't have to make an ethical decision on the fly. "I...thanks."
Just as the awkwardness was reaching an unbearable level, Inuyasha's phone went off. He pulled it out to check the message.
Miroku: This is a life check/excuse for you to leave if you need it.
Miroku: Scratch that last part. If you're still there, you need to leave. Otherwise, you might go home and find Kagome has adopted two pregnant cats.
Miroku could be a perverted pain in the ass, and sometimes Inuyasha wondered how he had stayed friends with the man so long. Right now, he was willing to name his firstborn son after him.
Trying not to look like he was making an escape, he started to edge toward the door. "I'm glad we could work all this out. Thanks, Kikyo," he said, happy to have closure.
Kikyo didn't move from her seat, but she called to him as he was stepping out the door. "Inuyasha?"
He looked back but kept his hand on the doorknob. "Yeah?"
"Even though our relationship wasn't all it should be-especially on my part-I want you to know that I truly want you to be happy," she said, her expression earnest.
Inuyasha stared at her for a moment, not speaking. Kikyo was a good woman. She just wasn't meant for him. And he realized he had accepted that a long time ago, and he was okay with it. He smiled at her, and it was an easy, genuine smile, the kind that he had never quite been able to give her before. "Thanks, Kikyo. I will be. I hope you're able to be happy, too."
Kikyo watched him leave, knowing that the closing of the door was both literal and metaphorical. Inuyasha was finally moving on, and things between them would never be the same. While she wasn't a person who enjoyed change, she was realistic enough to know this was a good thing. Inuyasha was going to be happy, and in making the right choice to accept and support his decision, maybe she would be able to find her own happiness, as well.
Inuyasha dashed to the Amigo and sent a quick text to Miroku to let him know it was over and that there wouldn't be any problems on that front-something he knew would be passed on to Sango. Briefly, he considered stopping to get something to eat, but he wanted to get home to Kagome. It had been several hours since he had left her, and he wanted to clear the Kikyo thing up before she went to bed. Which was going to be tricky if she was still avoiding him.
During the drive home, his mind drifted to the past and his relationship with Kagome. They had met when they were about thirteen, and she had quickly wormed her way into his life. Normally a bit antisocial, he wasn't any match for Kagome's aggressive friendliness. Although he had grumbled and complained, he had enjoyed finding someone who wasn't afraid of him or so worried about offending him that they walked on eggshells. Because of her, he had been able to become friends with Miroku and Sango, and it got easier for him to be in social situations.
Kagome had been his best friend, which was why the dreams had freaked him out so much.
Even now, he felt his face becoming red just remembering them. He had known what wet dreams were, of course, given how other kids talked, but he hadn't expected his to star his best friend. He hadn't even been able to look at her at school the next day, the first time it happened. And it had happened often, as well as his body's reaction to her whenever she was close.
The thought of ruining their friendship was almost devastating. He didn't know how to make a transition in their relationship or even if he should. It didn't help that so many people said that relationships that early never lasted and usually ended badly. Of course, once he was older, he began hearing how people had opposite experiences, and others reconnected years later and got it right. In trying to outrun becoming a statistic, he had made the wrong choice for himself.
Another factor was Kikyo. Once he started dating her, he was able to bury all those feelings for Kagome; something in his mind just wouldn't let him think about her in that way while he was seeing someone else. Between times...well, that was a different story. Even these last few months had seen a resurgence in that area, and it was the main reason he had even considered getting back with Kikyo; he didn't want to put Kagome in a weird position while she was living with him.
Now he just felt like an idiot. What was wrong with falling in love (and a considerable amount of lust) with your best friend? He had always been afraid of the risk and more afraid of losing her completely, but that hadn't worked out so well for him either. To tell the truth, he was still nervous. Part of him was still a little afraid that Kagome would change her mind and that things between them would become strained.
Although it's awkward enough now if she feels the need to do a runner with a pregnant cat, he mused.
It really came down to whether he thought the potential outcome was worth the risk. Surprisingly, he didn't have to think about it all that hard. If he could have a relationship with Kagome like the one his parents had, it was worth whatever he had to do to make it possible.
When he pulled into the driveway, the sun was only a thin, glowing strip of pink on the horizon. It didn't look like there was a light on in the living room, but then, he didn't expect Kagome to make this easy by being accessible. Shoving his key in the lock, he tried to school his features into a normal expression. The best he could manage was that of a yakuza member coming to collect a debt.
For once, luck was with him. He could hear rustling noises coming from the kitchen, and he had to fight a triumphant grin when he remembered her habit of stress-snacking. He moved quickly to cut off her escape, leaning lazily against the doorjamb. She hadn't heard him come in, and she was bent over to root on the bottom shelf of the fridge. Inuyasha had to bite back a whine at the sight of her tight, pink sleep shorts that had ridden up high enough for him to catch a glimpse of the curve of her ass.
'Fixin' dinner, or just havin' a snack?" He asked, his lips twitching when she jumped and squawked at the sound of his voice.
"Inuyasha! Oh. Um, I just finished a snack. I...I didn't think you would be home this early." She said, her voice slightly wobbly.
Pulling his eyes away from the thin trail of chocolate sauce on her chin, he addressed her implied question.
"Why wouldn't I be? I said I'd try to make it in time to watch a movie if you wanted, didn't I?"
Her eyes darted off to the side as she absently rubbed her arm. "Well, yes, but I thought you might go out to dinner with Kikyo and maybe catch a movie with her or...something," she finished weakly.
Inuyasha tilted his head to the side. "Dontcha think it'd be sending a mixed message to have dinner with someone after you've told them you don't wanna date 'em?"
Kagome stared at him blankly, as if he had just started speaking in fluent French. Beautiful. Mesmerizing. Completely incomprehensible.
"Wait, what? I-you said you were going over there to get back together!"
"No," I said I was going over because she wanted to talk about gettin' back together. She offered, and I said I didn't want to," he corrected.
"But why not? You always..." she trailed off as if realizing how pathetic that made him sound.
Seeing that his quarry wasn't trying to escape, Inuyasha sauntered into the kitchen until he stood directly in front of her. "Yeah, 'I always.' Don't ya think that's gettin' a little old? Shit, Kagome, you know it wasn't much of a relationship from the start, and if it hasn't worked after all this time, I'd say that's a good sign to let it go and move on. Don't you?"
Well, yes, she had thought so all along-at least after the third or so break up, but sometimes Inuyasha and common sense were only passing acquaintances. As it was, she could almost feel herself going into shock. He...wasn't getting back together with Kikyo? He didn't want to? She couldn't help but stare at him, looking for some sign that he was upset. As closely as she looked, she couldn't find a trace of the sadness or disappointment he usually wore. Maybe...was it possible she had overreacted?
Inuyasha watched as a stream of emotions crossed her face, and he could tell she was having difficulty taking it in.
"Are you sure you're alright? Really?" She finally asked.
His heart gave a sharp clench; how often had she shoved her own feelings to the side to make sure he was okay?
"Yeah, I'm fine. I got over it a while ago, and to be honest, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be," he said honestly.
"That...that's good. I'm glad that, well, not that it happened, but, you know-" she said awkwardly, her hands waving as she tried to find the right words.
"That I'm not a wreck about it?" He supplied.
"Yeah." Suddenly, her eyes darted to the side. "Although, that does raise a question-what should we do if one of us wants to...um, have someone over? I was thinking earlier that it might get a little...uncomfortable," she said, her voice squeaking slightly.
She hadn't been expecting his reaction and nearly fell backward as he took a step closer, his eyes narrow and glittering.
"You have someone you want to stay over?" He rumbled.
Kagome shook her head rapidly. "No! Not at all! I just, well, I don't want me being here to make things—"
His stance relaxed, and he gave her a small half-smile. "Don't have any intention of having anyone over," he said before feeling the need to clarify, "Don't have any intention on stayin' out, either."
"O-okay. Me, neither," Kagome said, failing miserably to keep from blushing.
"Good. Anything else we need to clear up on that front?"
"No, I don't think so," she said, and for the first time since he came in for lunch today, her smile was genuine.
Inuyasha had to swallow what he was going to say, barely remembering in time that he wasn't supposed to know that she had planned to leave. The sadness had evaporated from her scent as they spoke, so he was no longer worried that she would make a break for it.
"If there wasn't anything else, I think I'm gonna go take a shower. You wanna check out that diner I told you about for lunch tomorrow?"
Kagome brightened. Inuyasha had mentioned that there was an American-inspired diner in the little town, and she had a craving for something fried. "Yes! I've been wanting to try that!"
"Then we can leave when you finish cleaning up the final draft of your project."
Before Kagome could agree, she was frozen in place when Inuyasha reached for her face, his thumb slowly swiping along the corner of her mouth. She watched in embarrassed fascination as he popped the chocolate sauce-stained digit into his mouth with a smirk.
"Thanks for the tasty snack, Peaches," he said, his voice sounding like rough silk as he turned to walk out the door.
Kagome gripped the back of the nearest chair to keep her knees from buckling. She swallowed a whimper, thanking every kami in existence that it was inaudible. There had been something so intimate about the gesture, combined with his tone of voice and facial expression. If Kagome hadn't spent so many years holding herself to the belief that Inuyasha would never be interested in her, she would have recognized his behavior as blatant flirting. Her body, on the other hand, had no such restrictions and promptly reacted accordingly, her thighs clenching together as she bit her lip.
On jelly-like legs, she made her way to her room, kicking away the piles of her hastily gathered belongings to sit on her bed. After a moment's deliberation, she picked up the phone and called Sango for the third time that night.
"Kagome? Is everything alright?" Sango answered.
Kagome took a deep breath, still hardly believing Inuyasha's earlier words. "Um, Inuyasha came home," she began hesitantly. "And...I may have overreacted earlier? I don't know. Tell me what you think."
Kagome recounted the conversation they had had, although she decided not to mention the oral attention he had given her thumb.
"Kagome, that's great news! Aren't you happy he's not getting back together with Kikyo?"
"Of course, I am, especially since he seems so fine with it. I just...it goes against everything I've come to expect, you know? Part of me expects to hear he's changed his mind tomorrow."
"No, listen. Inuyasha has never turned her down before. Never. You know this. But not only did he turn her down this time, but he did it to her face. That means he had to look at her while she cried or whatever it is she's always done to get him to come back. To me, that says he's serious. Plus, even back when they broke up this last time, he didn't act nearly as upset as he used to."
Leaning back on her pillow, Kagome twisted a strand of hair around her finger. "So, do you think I should keep staying here? He didn't sound like he was interested in going out and finding a girlfriend. Or," she amended, "He doesn't sound like he's looking for hookups."
"First of all, I can't Imagine Inuyasha hooking up. He's too much of a grumpy, nurturing type. He's not going to put effort into finding someone he can stand enough to sleep with and just be willing to let them go the next day."
"True," Kagome agreed with a small smile. "Inuyasha doesn't typically enjoy the kind of activities where you meet people for that kind of thing either."
"Exactly. Kagome, I really think you should stay there. You and Inuyasha have gotten closer, and I've always had the feeling that he was drawn to you. If you just give it time and let things happen naturally, I think he'll want to take your relationship in a romantic direction."
Kagome hadn't thought of any of that. Inuyasha had had to look Kikyo in the eyes and tell her no-and Kagome knew that in spite of the tough front he put up, Inuyasha was a softy. There would be no way for him to turn her down if he didn't really and truly mean it. As for the two of them becoming closer, she wasn't sure if Sango was right; Kagome couldn't really give her opinion since she was so close to the situation. But Sango was sensible, and she never told her things just because she wanted to hear them. So...maybe she really did have a chance?
"Okay, Sango. I'm not sure if all of that will really happen, but I at least want the chance to find out," she finally agreed.
"And Kagome? Inuyasha is single, so you don't have to take his relationship with Kikyo into consideration anymore. I suggest you make the most of that fact and flirt like hell."
"What? How am I supposed to do that?!" Kagome squealed.
"Show some skin. Bare your throat. Make suggestive jokes. Touch him, for heaven's sake. Lick vanilla icing off your finger if you get desperate," Sango listed off, proving that Miroku had been a corrupting influence.
Kagome nearly snorted up a lung at that last mental image as she recalled the earlier incident in the kitchen.
"Sango! Don't you think that would be going too far?"
"Nope. Enough time has been wasted—you want him, and there's no point in being shy about it. You are attracted to him that way, right?"
Of course, she was. She always had been. And now that she had the mental image of his tongue in action, she knew that little tidbit would be featuring prominently in her next few not-so-innocent dreams.
"Yeah, but I don't want this to just be about sex!" She hissed into the phone.
"Kagome. You know Inuyasha cares about you—he wouldn't risk that if it was just about sex," Sango assured her. "So there's no reason you shouldn't show him what's on the menu. A little sexual frustration will be good for him."
"That seems a bit cruel."
"Sure. But that just makes it all the better when you finally reward him," Sango snickered. She was all for him making things special for Kagome, but they were both passionate people, and she knew Kagome would want to feel desired as well. And Inuyasha was like a brother to her; watching him suffer would be delicious.
Kagome snorted. "Great, now you're channeling Miroku."
"Does that mean you won't do it?"
He had pulled that stunt with the chocolate sauce. Surely that warranted some type of payback? And his reaction might be interesting...
"I don't think I'll try the icing trick any time soon, but as for the rest….I'll work on it."
"Good. So I shouldn't expect you to come over tomorrow?"
After promising Sango that she no longer felt the need to start a Home for Unwed Cats, Kagome hung up and slipped under her covers, her mind still working overtime. She was still confused by the new developments, but she had to admit, they were appealing. The main reason she had never made a move on Inuyasha during his off periods with Kikyo is that she knew they would be getting back together. That always hurt more than enough without feeling like he chose Kikyo over her. Now that Kikyo was out of the picture, she wasn't sure where to start. She didn't want to be too blunt since there was still some fear of being hurt, but she also couldn't be completely passive. Inuyasha was a great guy, and she wasn't foolish enough to believe that other women wouldn't realize that. Sitting around waiting for him to find Kikyo 2.0 wasn't an option.
There was just one tiiiiiiiny problem. She had no idea how to go about it.
She'd never deliberately flirted before, and she knew there were….cultural? That might be the closest word to use. There were cultural aspects regarding his youkai side that would need to be considered. Baring your throat was all well and good, but she couldn't go around looking like she had a crick in her neck.
There was only one thing to do.
Propping herself up, she hit the browser on her phone.
"Hello, Google, my old friend," she quietly sang under her breath. "I've come to look things up again."
Maybe she wasn't quite brave enough to come right out and proclaim her feelings yet, but that wasn't going to stop her from sending signals until she could build up her courage.
Inuyasha stood with his back pressed against his bedroom door, his breath coming in quick pants as his eyes darted wildly around the room. What the hell had he done? He had intended to give Kagome peace of mind and had ended up mauling her with his mouth! For some reason, his youkai side had dominated his actions. He hadn't been in danger of losing control, but he had acted more on instinct than was entirely comfortable. Those same instincts screamed out when the scent of her arousal reached his nose, practically begging him to take her right there on the kitchen table.
He couldn't do that.
Table sex had to wait until at least the fourth official date, right?
Or was that something else?
With dawning horror, Inuyasha realized he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He had never flirted. He had basically followed whatever Kikyo wanted, and when he screwed up, he had Kagome to tell him how to fix it. Now, he wasn't sure about the right way to go about this. What was too fast? What was too slow? Why was he sure his mother would laugh when she found out he regretted not taking her advice on paying more attention to human dating customs? The last thing he wanted to do was to screw this up or give Kagome the wrong idea, but that was looking more and more inevitable. It had taken all of his confidence to get this far. He needed advice. He needed someone who had experience with this sort of thing.
Fuck me from behind and call me a bitch, He thought with resignation. I'm gonna have to talk to Miroku.