Regina's view

I don't know how long I've been running. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to run away, because I've never been to this place before and I have no idea where I am right now. Exhausted, I lean against a tree, then sink down and start crying again. I wanted to be honest with Emma, I didn't want to run away but I just couldn't do it. The whole situation has also completely shaken me up and I feel so lost right now. How could such a situation have happened? When did I fall in love with Emma? When did friendship turn into something more? I had been so angry at first when Emma had come to town. We had bickered whenever we talked to each other. Admittedly, even at the beginning I had noticed how attractive Emma was, but it had never occurred to me that I would fall in love with her; after all, I was endlessly angry. Just at some point I didn't.. Then we became friends, shared custody of our son and did things together from time to time. I could always rely on Emma and I was also there for Emma. Then, during an outing with Emma and Henry, where we seemed like a family, I realized that this was exactly what I wanted.

A family, not just any family, no, I wanted that exact family! I became abruptly aware of my feelings for Emma and tried to suppress them. It didn't work. Every time I saw Emma again, my feelings for her grew stronger. So I distanced myself from her for the time being, but then I missed her all the more. So I decided to let her get close to me again, because friendship was better than nothing.

The exhaustion shows more and more and I realize how tired I am all of a sudden. I decide to close my eyes for a moment until a noise startles me. I turn around and look into bright green eyes that are far too clear even in the darkness. Emma has found me, she comes closer, kneels in front of me and takes me in her arms. I am far too tired to resist and simply allow the embrace, letting myself fall into it and enjoying the closeness. The tears stop running from my eyes, down my cheeks and I start to relax. Emma says nothing and only when not a word has fallen even minutes later, I begin to speak.

"I'm sorry I ran away" I say hoarsely, you can clearly hear in my voice how tired and drained I am.

"It's okay Regina, do you want to tell me what's going on now?"

I hear the concern in Emma's voice and I think about what to do now. If I keep pushing her away, I'll lose her. If I tell her the truth, I might lose her too. So what the hell, I think I should tell her the truth, even if it means we might not be friends anymore. But how should I tell her, should I just tell her that I think, no, that I know I'm in love with her? That I want more than friendship? That I have butterflies in my stomach when I see her or think of her? That I get lost in her eyes and that I miss her when she's not with me? Oh, I just tell her, in the end it doesn't matter how I tell her.

"So... um... I..." I stammer and gather my courage, even if it's just a little spark, hidden deep in my heart.

"Something has changed between us Emma." I begin to tell. Before I can speak further, she asks me:

"What do you mean?" I think I can see a brief moment of hope in her eyes, which is immediately displaced by fear and sadness. I take a deep breath.

"Lately. So there... I... um... Well... There's... This fluttering inside me, this tingling when I see you. I get heart palpitations, lose myself in your eyes. Wanting to be near you, missing you when you're not there. The desire to pull you to me, to put my lips on yours and steal a kiss, to touch you.

Emma, I... I love... You."

Oh my god shit no! I said way too much. I just wanted to tell her that I was in love with her. Now I'm sure I've scared her off. I told her my wish and revealed my feelings to her. I lower my gaze. I'm too afraid of losing her forever. I notice myself holding my breath. Seconds pass, it feels like minutes. No response. Crap. Surely she's thinking about how to tell me she doesn't feel that way, that she can't be friends with me anymore, that she finds me repulsive. What was I thinking? How could I have been so stupid.

A hand goes under my chin and slowly pulls my head back up until I can look into Emma's eyes. I don't see any sense of contempt there. She doesn't look like she finds me repulsive, but I can see tears in her eyes.

She interrupts my thoughts by brushing a strand of hair from my face with her other hand.

"Oh Regina, why didn't you say something?" she asks me and smiles, a tear rolling out of her eye. I want to lower my head again, but she holds it tightly, forcing me to continue looking into her eyes.

"Because. I don't want to lose you as a friend... I manage to suppress my feelings. Please Emma, don't push me away." I plead with her. Emma starts to speak and I can't look her in the eyes any further, so I close mine.

"Look at me, please," she says. Hesitantly, I open my eyes again and look directly into hers.

"I'm not going to push you away, please don't ever think like that again. Regina, I feel the same way. In my dreams we are a happy family, you, Henry and me. Every time I see how badly you're doing, it tears my heart apart. Then every time I want to pull you into my arms and never let you go, to be able to protect you from everything. When it comes to you, my reason fails. Then I let myself be guided by my feelings. Every time I see you, I have to control myself not to pull you to me and press my lips to yours, not to brush a strand from your face and tell you how I feel. Regina, I love you too and I'm sorry I didn't have the courage to tell you how I feel sooner. I could have saved you so much suffering."

Had Emma really just said all that? Does she really return my love? Or had I just imagined it? As if she knew what I was thinking, she removed my doubts.

"I love you Regina." Overwhelmed by the rising joy, I can no longer control myself and put one hand to her cheek and the other to her neck. I pull her to me and gently place my lips on hers to kiss her. The feeling is intoxicating, our lips touch only lightly and already a firework of emotions rages inside me. The kiss quickly becomes more intense and demanding and Emma, asking for permission, strokes her tongue over my lower lip. I grant her entry and a small battle for dominance begins. All worries, fears and doubts of the last time fall off me and I enjoy every second of our togetherness. After a few minutes we have to break away from each other, completely out of breath.

"Wow... That was amazing, even better than I imagined." Sighs Emma as she pulls me into her arms. I put my hands on her waist and cover her neck with soft kisses.

"It was that and so much more." I breathe, feeling Emma get goosebumps as I do so. Slowly she breaks free of the embrace, sits down next to me and leans her head against my shoulder. I close my eyes and lean my head against hers.

When I open my eyes again after what feels like an eternity, Emma is no longer there. Instead of sitting leaning against a tree, I notice that I'm lying on the ground, I'm insanely cold and my body is shivering uncontrollably. Again I start to cry, because I realize that I must have fallen asleep and the conversation never happened. Only in my dreams. I should have guessed that, because why would Emma reciprocate my feelings, too? I mean, I only changed after she came to town, which means she also knows me as the angry, mean, and inconsiderate person I just was and am trying to leave behind. I've made so many mistakes. Sure, Emma doesn't know me as I was before I adopted Henry.

Thinking back to that time sends a shiver down my spine and I quickly push the thought away. After I adopted Henry, I turned my back on a lot of my past. Because I didn't want him to grow up in an environment like that. It made me feel less lonely and I was able to allow love again, love for my son. From that day on, Henry was my everything and I could never have hurt him. However, I was still mean to other people, showed no consideration for them. I had destroyed lives, which had been far too easy for me as mayor. I regret everything I had done back then. I had at least been able to give something back to families from whom I had taken everything they owned, but my behavior was inexcusable and I could not undo it.

"Regina?" I flinch, startled, and feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head a little and look directly into Emma's eyes. Had I fallen asleep again or is it really her this time?

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you, come on, you're getting cold." she says, standing up and holding her hand out to help me up. I take her hand and let her pull me up. Since I'm still shivering badly, she takes off her jacket and hangs it around my shoulders. Then she takes my arm, puts it around her shoulder and supports me, since I'm a bit wobbly on my feet.

"Let's go to the car first, you can explain to me later why you ran away and what's wrong with you." she mumbles.

After we get to the car, she opens the passenger door and I drop into the seat. She walks around the car, gets in and starts the engine. Silently we drive for a while until she breaks the silence.

"Regina, if you're not going to tell me what's wrong with you, at least tell me why you ran away."

In her voice I can hear a spark of something besides concern, but I can't interpret it. What am I going to tell her? I owe her an answer, I know that, but how can I explain to her why I ran away without telling her about my feelings?

I... When we were at the lake and you wanted to know what was going on with me, it became too much for me. I couldn't stand the thoughts and your concern... It was just too much. I'm sorry," I say, hoping that it will be enough for her to explain.

Again a few minutes pass in complete silence. It was an uncomfortable silence. I hear her exhale loudly and turn my head so I can see her. She seems to be thinking about something. I turn my gaze forward again and sink into my thoughts myself.

Emma's view

It took me two hours to find Regina. In that time, I was so worried that I called Ruby again. Fortunately, she answered quickly. Once again I recall the conversation with her.

"Emma? Did you find her? Is Regina okay?" was the first thing I heard from Ruby.

"No Ruby, I can't find her, what if something happened to her? She doesn't know her way around here, I shouldn't have come here with her." I had replied, Ruby clearly hearing that I was blaming myself.

"Relax Emma, nothing will have happened to her. She can take good care of herself, don't worry so much. You'll find her eventually. And when you find her, you come over here and warm up. I'll make you some hot chocolate with cream and cinnamon too." She tried to cheer me up.

"I hope you're right, if anything happens to her, I'll never forgive myself. I do love her." I whispered in a tear choked voice.

"I know sweetheart, you should finally tell Regina that. And who knows, maybe she feels the same way." Ruby had said.

"If she loved me, she wouldn't have run away..." That was the only thing I could say to that.

"That's not saying, you don't know what was going on inside her." I ignored her words and instead asked: ,Did Henry get to you okay?"

"Fine, let's leave that topic for now. To answer your topic distraction question, yes, he arrived here fine and is playing with Granny right now."

We talked some more while I continued to look for Regina. To distract me, she had told me about her date the other day. Had, but didn't say who she had gone out with. I don't know what she said after that, because I saw Regina lying on the floor, shaking all over.

"I have to hang up, I found her. I'll bring her to you." I whispered. I didn't wait for an answer and simply hung up.

Carefully, I approached Regina and called her name softly. But when she didn't respond, I knelt in front of her, touched her lightly on the shoulder and called her name again. When she did respond and looked at me in irritation, I was just relieved that she was unharmed so far. I helped her up, supported her, and slowly walked with her to the car. We had been driving for a while before I wanted to know why she had run away.

After she had explained it to me, although it could hardly be called an explanation, I kept silent for a while.

Her explanation is not enough for me. My thoughts often get too much for me, too, and yet I don't run away right away. No, I think there is something else, something she is not telling me. But well, for today I leave it at that, because I don't want her to run away a second time today. So I say to her, "Okay, I'm going to take you to Henry now, he's with Ruby."

She exhales with relief and nods.

When we arrive at Ruby's, she wraps her arms around us one by one to greet us and then goes into the kitchen. A short time later, she returns with two cups in hand and hands Regina a cup of hot black coffee and me my promised cocoa with cream and cinnamon. We follow her into the living room, where Henry is sitting on the couch watching a movie. He must have heard us, because he turns around, jumps up and runs toward us.

"Mom, Emma, you're back!" he whoops and falls into our arms.

"Yes, little one, how was your day?" I ask as I pull Regina behind me to the couch and we sit down.

"Really nice, we didn't really do anything at school except play and then Ruby gave me an ice cream and Granny played with me." he tells us with beaming eyes.

"Wow, sounds really good, what kind of ice cream did you have?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

At the same time we say, "Vanilla, with cream and cinnamon." and start laughing.

Later, he had told me every little detail of his day before I put him to bed. To fall asleep, I read him a fairy tale from his book that he always has with him everywhere and gave him a kiss. Then when I went back to Regina, she was already asleep. Ruby told me that I could sleep quietly in one of the rooms, so I also went to sleep after I had tucked Regina in.