Chapter Three

Kris and Susie

It was a completely accidental invasion, but too many crossing stories and strange things were bound to happen! Or perhaps there was another agent afoot that night. Love God never found out. What he did know was that he suddenly had to deal with an emergency. He hurried to the edge of the nearest balcony and witnessed the entire fight.

Kris and Susie burst into the hall atop a table still being set. They were in a battle with a great, melting Chocolate Sundae called Mondae. The beast rose from its armored bowl, which was bristling with cannons. It's ice cream body dripped over the sides as it wielded an uncomfortably phallic banana spear.

"What the hell, Kris! Where are we? And where's Ralsei?" Susie shouted, batting a choco-nut cannonball right back at the boss monster.

Kris indicated that they had no clue what was going on either.

"You mean to tell me that we climbed that sherbet-covered mountain all for nothing?"

Not for nothing, Kris pointed out, barely dodging a nutty ball aimed just for them. Their massive dessert was here, they just had to beat into submission. But where they were was a real problem.

"I can guess we can worry about that later. You're right, Kris! Let's beat this Sundae Mondae into next week! And into my stomach!"

"You missed the perfect opportunity for a pun! You could have said Tuesdae, or any other day of the week!" Mondae laughed.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I WANT YOUR HORRIBLE PUNS!" Susie roared, leaping in with her axe. She sheared off one of the bowl's cannons.

Kris ACTED by dancing and turning up the heat in the room. Mondae began melting even more.

"Think you can give me the slip, eh? Dancing about like that will only get you so far!" Mondae roared as they thrusted their banana spear skyward. There was a flash of lightning. Banana boomerangs flew from the spearhead and attacked from all sides.

Kris took Susie by the hand, and they danced their way off the wrecked table and along the floor, barely dodging the pesky projectiles. The bananas careened back and shed their peels, throwing them all over the floor before attacking the duo again. Susie dipped Kris and arched her back, passing between the potassium missiles.

"Hey, all that dancing is finally paying off!"

Ready for the Saddie Hawkman's Dance, Kris wanted to know, flashing her the thumbs up. Susie snorted in reply.

"Uh, maybe not yet," Susuei sputtered, embarrassed. "I think we need to polish up on some of our skills! Get that spear, Kris!"

Susie hauled Kris up and held them like a football. She hurled her friend right towards the spear. Mondae pulled it out of immediate reach, but Kris still swung their sword, scoring a deep knick into the spear.

Two cannons focused on Kris as they landed and fired. There was no way they could dodge well while landing! Susie hurled her axe with all her might, smashing the choco-nutty cannonballs into pieces. But now she was without a primary weapon and surrounded by dangerously slippery banana peels.

Time for my own ACTing I guess, Susie thought, picking up the bananas as quickly as she could.

As she hurriedly scooped up the yellow peels, Mondae turned their attention onto her. They kept two cannons firing at Kris, to stave them off. It was time to strike this annoying dragon warrior down for good! And they lost their support warrior, too.

But right before Kris left Mondae's periphery vision, the teen opened their red eyes wide. They snapped their fingers and pointed right at Mondae. Despite all the monster's persistence and strength, the dripping sundae could not turn any further. It was completely bewitched by Kris' hypnotism.

"You'll pay for that one, kid!" Mondae roared. They turned around and hurled the banana spear right at Kris.

Kris jumped onto Susie's great axe, right onto the axe head. The handle shot up, conking Kris in the face, but their glare never broke. Mondae could not look away as their spear struck Susie's mighty haft and was stopped.

"Uh-oh," it realized.

Mondae reached out a melting claw to summon its great weapon back to them.

"Gotcha!" Susie shouted triumphantly. She leaped high into the air and dropped the banana peels on top of Mondae's head, littering it with the garbage. Mondae's line of vision was cut off. The spear flew true to its outstretched claw, but they missed Kris hanging onto it for dear life. Susie's axe trailed behind them as they carried it along. Kris' sword gripped firmly in their teeth.

"Get this off me!" Mondae screamed, swiping away the already browning peels. They received their sight just in time to catch their spear and see Kris fly free of it.

Kris threw Susie's axe to her and spun midair. They slashed as best as they could across Mondae's neck, but the wound was almost less than superficial. The sticky dessert was elated and caught Kris in their free claw.

"Now, I'm going to crush you! Literally and figuratively!"

"Not if I can help it!" Susie roared.

Susie crashed on top of Mondae's head, bringing her great axe down with all her might. She split the sundae in two, right through its own banana core and all the way down, slicing up the armored bowl. The porcelain and iron shattered, spraying in all directions. The blast was so violent, it sent melting ice cream high above her and Kris.

Susie managed to catch Kris before they slammed into the marble floor. The ice cream and bits of banana rained all around them. Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry dripped from the hair, faces, and clothes. They laughed in relief at having won and titled their heads back to gulp down the delicious rain.

What the two teens failed to notice was that Susie's finishing move was so destructive that the plum of ice cream had hit Love God like a geyser. Some of his potions became uncorked and the magic mingled with his ice cream raining down.

Wiping chocolate syrup from his face and sucking on his fingers he called out to the tuxedoed orcs, "Get some cleaning crews down there immediately! We need to get that table ready! Find out who those two are and remove them at once! And-! Uh-oh, my bottles! I really need a smarter, better way of carrying these little babies around! Where are the corks?"

Down below, Kris and Susie's eyes widened with unrestrained ecstasy. They saw each other in another light. No, that wasn't right. As best friends, they understood each other very well. There had always been an unspoken attraction between them in their journeys. Why hadn't they acknowledged their feelings before now?

Whatever the answer was didn't matter. Kris and Susie moved as one to give each other a passionate, sticky, sweet kiss. They licked each other's lips, clinging fiercely to one another.

"You taste like strawberries. My favorite," Susie grunted through their kiss.

Kris did their best to make it known that Susie tasted like chocolate.

"Yeah, we gotta get cleaned up," Susie said, scooping us her axe and Kris' sword. She spied a door nearby. "And I think I have the perfect place for us."

So long as it was private, Kris let her know.

"I hope it is!" She kicked the door open, revealing a luxury suite with a large bed and a bathroom just beyond that. "Perfect."

Susie closed the door and placed her axe across it. If anyone wanted in here before she was done with Kris, they'd have to blast a hole through the wall. Wherever Ralsei was, she hoped that he would have the courtesy to wait a little bit.

"Now, let's get that ice cream off of you," she snarled.

Susie was pleased to see that Kris had an equally hungry gleam in their red eyes.