Chapter 5: No Other Name Falling Off My Lips

Summary: Adoring looks, friendly teasing, and confessions.

Notes: Thank you, Guest for the lovely review! Hope you continue to enjoy this story!

The ache in Olivia's ankle woke her the following morning. She could hear Rafael's soft snores coming from the other side of the mock wall. Staring up at the ceiling, she mulled over whether she should attempt to get up or try to go back to sleep.

Olivia's mind wandered to the man in the other bed. Despite her anger and poor treatment toward him, Rafael was there the moment she needed him. Her heart clenched remembering the change in his expression that fateful day when she told him she felt betrayed by him, how the light seemed to disappear from his eyes and the lines on his face deepened. She was such a fool at the time, letting her ego and Elliot's anger influence her own feelings and cloud her better judgement. Rafael should not have been punished for doing what he thought was best in his desire to protect her. They had been friends and that's what friends did: look out for and protect each other, even when the other person didn't want you too.

She couldn't change what was been done, but she could make more of an effort to fix things moving forward. It was a lucky thing that they both had such great friends who were willing to face their wrath by intervening and forcing them to right their wrongs. She needed that swift kick in the ass to shove her in the right direction.

The rustling of sheets sounded behind the mock wall and Olivia knew that Rafael was waking up. Sitting up, she eased her legs over the side of the bed and grasped the crutches. She had just stood and settled the crutches under her arms when she caught Rafael's form emerging from behind the wall.

Bedhead made his hair stick up at various angles and he was shirtless, sleep pants sitting low on his hips, as he slipped on his eyeglasses. Olivia's breath caught in her throat. He looked good, really good. She always wondered what he hid beneath those suits and sweaters. He was fit, but not hard-bodied, and her fingers itched to trace down the patch of fine hair on his chest. She gulped audibly and his sleepy eyes snapped to hers, surprised to see her up.

Flashing him a smile, Olivia whispered "Good morning, Rafa."

His surprise melted into a warm grin, and he returned the greeting. She caught his eyes raking over her own sleepwear, a fitted tank top and barely-there shorts, and her skin flushed under his gaze. Realizing that he was blatantly staring, Rafael shifted his eyes to the sink and moved without a word to brush his teeth.

Olivia watched the muscles of his back move in the dim lighting of the yurt as he brushed his teeth with one hand and wet his hair with the other. His attempts to tame his thick locks were in vain. His eyes met hers in the mirror, the inside of the yurt slowly brightening with the rising sun, allowing them to see each other more clearly across the small distance. They stared silently for long moments, neither knowing what to say but not wanting to look away. The loud grumble of Rafael's stomach echoed through the room, causing them to laugh and snap back to reality.

"We better get dressed and get you some breakfast and coffee. We slept later than usual this morning," Olivia said, grabbing some clothes from her bag and quickly changing. Rafael did the same, topping off his morning clothes with a ball cap.

When Olivia caught sight of him in a ball cap, his glasses still on his face, and his beard growing a little thicker, she gasped. Holy fuck did he look good, she thought. She had never seen him in a hat before, but it suited him well in this casual environment.

Clearing her throat, she knew he caught her reaction by the smirk on his lips, and her cheeks reddened. "Are you ready to head down for breakfast?" she asked after brushing her teeth, already hobbling toward the door with her crutches.

"Liv," he said softly, causing her to hesitate. "Are you sure you want to go to the lodge? I can run down and bring breakfast and coffee back."

Shaking her head, she continued to the door. Over her shoulder, she said, "Thanks Rafa, but I would like to move around a little and get some fresh air."

Olivia remained quiet for the majority of breakfast; her mind occupied with thoughts of more than just friendship with Rafael.

For the third day in a row, Rafael stole glances at Olivia during breakfast. She was unusually quiet with a glazed expression on her face, and he was curious what thoughts had her so preoccupied.

He was too caught up in his own thoughts to worry about breaking the comfortable silence between them, though. He couldn't stop the smirk that spread across his lips once again, remembering the heat of her gaze taking in his bare chest earlier that morning. She had clearly enjoyed the sight if he read her expression correctly.

What did it all mean, though?

As they were just finishing up their second cup of coffee, empty breakfast plates piled at the side of the table, Jamie approached their table.

"Good morning! There is a call for you. It sounded important. You can take it in the meeting room," she said to Rafael. As he stood, the woman turned to Olivia. "How is your ankle today?"

"Oh, it's ok. Thank you for asking." Olivia spoke softly and smiled; her attention focused on Rafael's departing form.

Once in the room, Rafael picked up the receiver to the landline phone and pressed the blinking button. "Hello?" he said uncertainly.

"Well, I see Olivia didn't push you off a cliff. That's good. I wouldn't blame her if she had though." Rita's snarky tone echoed through the line, and he shook his head in amusement. "Can I get proof of life on the Captain?"

"Is that the only reason you called?" Rafael asked, rolling his eyes but the effect was diminished in a room by himself.

"Yes. I just wanted to know if I needed to make travel plans to defend one of you for murder."

"No murders have occurred; however, there has been an injury." He admitted, pausing for dramatic effect knowing it would drive Rita crazy. "Liv sprained her ankle yesterday."

"Barba! What did you do?" Rita's voice was accusatory. It was clear whose side she was on.

"What?! Why do you think it was something I did?" He hurried to explain. "She tripped on a root while we were on a group hike and twisted her ankle. It was not my fault. The hike wasn't even my idea."

"Mmhmm. I'll believe that when I hear it from Olivia."

Another dramatic eye roll to an empty room and Rafael sighed. "You'll get your proof of life when we return to New York, Counsellor." He hung up before Rita could get a word in edgewise.

Olivia was still seated at their table when he emerged, a question in her beautiful brown eyes. He flashed her a lop-sided grin and helped her to her feet. "Rita thought it prudent to make sure we were both still alive," he murmured as they slowly made their way to the door.

They really did have the most interfering friends.

Olivia laughed. "I wondered who would be the first to check on us. There was no way they were all going to wait an entire week to see if their plan was worked."

They were quiet on the short ride back to their yurt and Rafael knew by her pensive expression that something was on Olivia's mind.

"What is it, Liv?" he asked, holding the door to the yurt open for her to hobble through.

"This is embarrassing," she mumbled before steeling herself. "I am in dire need of a shower but I'm afraid of falling in there."

Rafael fought the chuckle bubbling up in his chest. That's what she was worried about? Deciding to gently tease her, he said, "Would you like me to shower with you and make sure you don't fall?" He shot her a smoldering look that was not at all for show. Despite his teasing tone, the idea of showering with Olivia sent a spark of desire shooting through him.

"What? No!" Her cheeks immediately reddened, and her pupils dilated. Rafael barked out a laugh, causing her to giggle girlishly.

"Get your clothes and shower bag. I'll stand guard outside the shower to help you if you fall, but I'm sure you will be fine." After a moment of thought, he added, "Use the handicap stall with the metal bar on the wall."

True to his word, Rafael stood outside the shower building, away from the door but well within earshot in case Olivia needed him. He tried not to think of her naked, water running down her body, or how much he would love to be in there with her, but the effort was futile. He could think of nothing else and prayed his body did not react to the thoughts. Of course, his body betrayed him, and he hit the shower as soon as Olivia emerged, clean and unscathed from the building.

It was a beautiful day and they spent the rest of it on the deck, enjoying the fresh air. Rafael looked perfectly content to be there with her, but Olivia couldn't help feeling that he was missing out on some of the adventures the resort offered.

"Rafa, you know you don't need to stay on the sidelines with me. You should go and enjoy some of the activities," she said when the guilt overwhelmed her.

His head snapped toward her, a frown marring his handsome face. "Will you trust me when I tell you, again, that I am right where I want to be?"

Blushing under his intense gaze, Olivia nodded. Part of her still had doubts but she knew he never lied to her. She needed to trust in what he said.

He continued watching her and she gazed back, a small smile tipping up the corners of her lips. Her smile spread when he added, "Besides, we're here specifically because all our friends demanded we spend time together. I can't abandon you now."

They made small talk for a while longer before Olivia finally decided it was a good time to get to the discussion they really needed to have.

"Rafa," she whispered his name. He was already looking in her direction and his brow furrowed at the change in her tone. "I need to apologize for the way I treated you. I couldn't see it at the time, but I know that you did what you thought you had to in defending Wheatley. I am sincerely sorry that I let certain people… a certain person… cloud my judgement. And for letting my residual hurt over you leaving stoke the fire."

He stayed quiet for some time, his sea foam green eyes still watching her, his brows pinched in a frown. Olivia became more worried the longer he took to respond. Finally, he spoke, his voice gravelly with emotion.

"I'm sorry that I left and that you were affected by me leaving. I just couldn't stick around when I was a fraction of the person I wanted and needed to be. I'll be honest and say that you broke my heart when you said you felt betrayed by me and didn't know how you'd ever get over it, Liv. I thought our friendship was stronger than that." He paused and Olivia's own heart broke knowing how much she hurt him.

"That being said, I was serious when I told you I knew what it meant to love someone unconditionally. Because I do, Liv. I have for a long time, and I see no point in stopping now."

Tears sprung to her dark eyes and hope surged in her chest. "What are you saying, Rafael?"

Reaching across the arm of the Adirondack chair, he turned her hand over palm up and placed his hand over it, interlacing their fingers. "I'm saying that I love you, Olivia Benson. If you are willing and able to move past our prior differences, I would very much like for us to be friends again."

Her eyes strayed to their clasped hands, and she bit her bottom lip. Olivia was torn between jumping at the chance to restore their friendship and wanting more from him than just that. She feared ruining it all if he didn't return her desire for more.

A gentle squeeze of her hand drew her eyes to meet his. "Liv?"

She held back once before, when he left her in front of the courthouse years ago, and it blew up in her face. She wouldn't let that happen again. "I love you too, Rafa. What if I want more than just friendship with you?"

Her statement caught him by surprise and his eyebrows shot up, green eyes wide. "You want more? How much more?"

Olivia smiled knowing she caught him so off guard. "I want it all, Rafa. With you. I want to finally give us the chance we should have had years ago."

He sat in stunned silence for a few minutes. "And you are free to do that?" She frowned, not understanding what he meant. "I mean, I just assumed by how things went down with us that you would pursue a relationship with Stabler. Is that not the case?"

"No, Rafa, that is not the case," she said adamantly. "I never pursued anything with Elliot. It was pretty clear to me that he and I would not be a good fit regardless of his feelings for me."

Rafael released a visible sigh of relief, his signature lop-sided grin spreading across his lips. "That is…" He didn't get to finish his sentence as Olivia leaned across the arms of their chairs and pressed a kiss to his lips.

It was little more than a brush of their lips, but it stoked the fire. Rafael shot to his feet and reached out a hand to help Olivia stand. He moved her arms around his neck, balancing her so she didn't put any weight on her injured ankle. One of his hands came up to cradle her face while the other wrapped around her waist. Their lips met in a more insistent kiss, lips parting to tangle tongues and taste each other.

By the time they eased back to take a breath, Olivia's fingers were tangled in his hair and Rafael's hand had wandered beneath the back of her shirt.

"What do you say we take this inside?" Olivia whispered.

"Your bed or mine?" Rafael asked.

TBC