Emma's view
It is now late in the evening, I sit on the windowsill with a glass of wine and let the day pass in review. After Regina had left this morning, I first talked to Ruby about the events, especially about my dream, which had totally shaken me up. But opening my eyes and seeing Regina had been reassuring. I wished she was lying next to me every night. I told Ruby the same thing. She just told me to finally talk to Regina and stop keeping my feelings to myself. As usual, I ignored Ruby's advice and instead made a quiet day of it with Henry.
For hours we played one of his favorite video games, which of course he kicked my ass at. Afterwards we ate something and Henry suggested to go to the park. When we got there, I knew why he wanted to go to the park. Violet was also in the park. What a coincidence I said to Henry, whereupon he had turned red. I left the two of them alone, told him to be home by 8:00 p.m. and went for a walk.
Although I had been distracted throughout the day, I had been thinking about Regina the whole time. The last day had been so eventful and yet I still don't know what is going on with Regina. It kills me to see her suffer so much and yet not be able to do anything about it. Even if I had the courage to confess my feelings to her, I wouldn't do it. I can't put another burden on her shoulders now, when she's already in such a bad way. No, she really doesn't need that, especially since I don't dare anyway, since I know that she doesn't return my feelings. I think frantically about how I can help Regina, even if she doesn't want to talk to me about it. There must be something I can do to cheer her up. But I just can't think of anything, how could I, when my head is in total chaos.
I decide to first drink a much-loved cocoa and then go for a walk. Maybe then I will find a solution to help Regina, I really hope so. The cocoa is quickly finished and I get ready. Before I leave, I check on Henry, who is sleeping peacefully, and then write him a quick note in case he wakes up while I'm out. Then I grab my red leather jacket and close the door behind me.
Outside, the cool night air greets me, where I can feel the wind at my back. Running is good for me, it always has been. I used to go running when everything got too much for me. When I just wanted to run away, to escape from the situation or to find a solution. I first organize my thoughts in order to concentrate exclusively on how I can help Regina now.
I could try to get her mind off it, distract her, give her time until she's ready to talk about it or is feeling better. Maybe she'll talk about it with Kathrin? Maybe it's about making her realize that she's not alone. I shouldn't make any big speeches or try to convince her to talk to me. Maybe she doesn't need words at all. After all, the most important thing is for me to just be there for her, be with her, and give her a hug. A sincere hug to give her warmth might be better... I should not press her and give her what she needs right now.
Regina's view
Once again I lie awake in bed and can't sleep. My thoughts circle around the conversation with Kathrin.
You have to tell her how you feel and I believe she will return your feelings.
What if Kathrin is right after all?
The possibility that she will reciprocate your feelings is still there. She always worries about you, she defends you every single time, she smiles at you, she seeks contact with you'. Could this really be true?
I want to believe that Emma reciprocates my feelings, but I just can't. I try not to think about it. I try not to think about it and close my eyes.
A ringing at the door makes me startled. Who is disturbing me at this hour? I get up, put on my robe and go downstairs. A very large part of me hopes that it is Emma, but I would never have expected the person standing there at my door.
It's Dr. Whale, that son of a bitch is actually standing at my door and he's drunk too.
"Get out of here Whale before I forget myself." I hiss. The rage inside me is growing.
"Misss... Millls ... isch.möschte. misch. beiii... Ihnenschuldigehn ... "He slurs to himself, although it is very difficult to understand him.
But that doesn't matter, because I don't want to listen to him.
"I'm not interested in what you have to say! Get off my property right now!" I scream and slam the door.
I lean against the door and slump to the floor as my legs won't hold me anymore. Why did he have to come here too? I don't know what to do anymore, the pain has come back with an overwhelming strength, the wound is bleeding again and the grief is cutting off my breath.
Whale was to blame for the death of my first love...Daniel...
I almost can't breathe. Memories surface, the news that Daniel died during surgery, the information that it was malpractice, the sight of Daniel's lifeless body and the trial. After I learned that Daniel had died, because of malpractice on Whale's part, I went to court with it. I wanted him to lose his medical license and no longer be allowed to work as a surgeon, but the 13 jurors ensured an acquittal. They found him innocent, despite incriminating evidence that malpractice had occurred before. At least the judge had ruled that Whale could only practice out of town, so he had moved to Boston and I no longer had to endure the sight of him. That didn't apply to the jury, though, which I hate almost as much as Whale.
My anger and hatred for these 14 people, brought me into my then environment, which began my 'reign of terror'. Why has this son of a bitch come back now? I can't stand this pain, I feel so helpless and I can't breathe. With trembling hands, I just manage to pull out my cell phone and write Emma a short message: 'Whale was here'.
That's all I can write and press send. Not a minute later, Emma's answer is just as short: 'On my way'.
I drag my exhausted body a bit away from the door so Emma can come in with her key before I give in to the rising faintness and fall into a black nothingness.
Conscious again, I feel two arms holding me tightly against a warm body. This can only be Emma, which is why I slowly open my eyes. It really is Emma, who holds me in her arms and now begins to stroke my head. I still can hardly breathe, can't move and start to hyperventilate. I can feel the dizziness catching up with me again, my muscles cramping, my limbs getting even weaker and I get a severe headache, it feels like I'm dying. My heart is racing by now and I perceive a stabbing pain in my lungs and at my heart. My vision is blurry and I start shaking uncontrollably. I suddenly feel so cold and yet I can hardly feel my body. Emma pulls me even closer to her and I feel her body heat, which slowly lets me relax a bit. She tries to calm me down.
"Shh... Regina... It's all good, they're just memories. You are not alone... I'm here with you, holding you. Whale's gone now, I've arranged for him to be taken out of town. Try to calm down."
I want to answer her, tell her I can't breathe, tell her I think I'm dying and that I love her. But I can't, can't bring a word past my lips, because I no longer have control over my body. She is still talking to me, but I don't hear what she is saying, because I faint again.
I startle up and look around in panic, but calm down relatively quickly when I see that I am still lying in my bed. I have been dreaming. Almost every time my thoughts circle around the past during the day, I get nightmares. I look at the clock and groan, it's only 3:26. Sleep was out of the question, though, so I push the covers off and go take a shower. But I still do not feel better.
To clear my head, I decide to go for a little walk. I grab my jacket and my keys, put on my shoes and go outside.
The fresh air does me good, the wind gently brushing my skin and enveloping me takes away some of my tension and I start to relax. The chaos in my thoughts weakens, slowly takes on some order and I exhale in relief. Walking the streets of Storybrooke in the dark at night while everyone is asleep has always had a calming effect on me. Only the crickets can be heard, otherwise there is a pleasant silence. The empty streets, lit only by single lanterns, give off a pleasant atmosphere. I turn into the next street and stop, when I can recognize a person in the pale light of a lantern. Emma. I would recognize her anywhere and not only because she is the only person wearing a red leather jacket, but because her image, posture and every little visible detail is burned into my brain. Emma also notices me at that moment and her sad look changes to a warm smile. I break free of my rigidity and go to her. Kathrin's words creep into my thoughts again 'Gina, I know you're scared, but you have to talk to Emma...'.