Her fingers hover over the power source as the naquadah in her blood reacts to the device, recognising it, reaching out to it. Sam falters, yet the tingling persists. She pulls back a fraction, pushing down the feeling. She thought she'd be used to this by now, but the rush never fails to remind her of Jolinar, dragging up the last vestiges of her memories which reside within her. Goa'uld technology always evokes mixed emotions within her; she thrives on figuring it out, yet bile never fails to rise to the back of her throat when she makes it work.
She squeezes her eyes shut, thanking whoever that she's alone in her lab. Daniel and her father are sending a message to the Tok'ra about some inconsistencies in texts Daniel has so they left her to run preliminary tests. Her dad would be the one to turn it on if he were there. She's grateful for that. She doesn't like anyone seeing her like this. She breathes in slowly to regain her composure.
"Is it a good idea to switch that thing on so close to the morgue?" Her CO asks from the doorway.
Sam's eyes snap open as she turns to face him. He makes her tingle in a whole other way. "We don't know the range of the device, Sir," she argues lightly.
"Oh, I'd say anything within the base will be affected," Jack says knowingly. She cocks her head to the side in askance. "Burke and I found the body of Daniel's guide a couple of clicks out from the kidnappers' bases. He was talking about gum."
His lopsided grin makes her stomach flutter in ways she should be embarrassed by. He waits for an invitation to cross the threshold, even though he doesn't need one. She turns back to the device, appraising it thoughtfully before speaking. "Maybe we should move it off-world to examine it," serves as her invitation.
He accepts it, moving into the lab to stop behind her. "Alpha site?"
"That's the general consensus," Jacob states tiredly as he strides through the door with General Hammond.
Sam turns in time to see Jack step away from her as Hammond files into her lab. He utters "at ease" before she springs to attention.
"I spoke with the president this morning. We've discussed it with Tok'ra and the Free Jaffa. We all agreed Telchak's device will be moved to another location to protect it and the SGC from any attempts Anubis makes to retrieve it," Hammond explains.
Sam considered it herself. It's one of the reasons they established off-world bases; evacuation and limiting risk to Earth.
"Unfortunately, the move coincides with your TAD to the Prometheus, Major," Hammond adds.
"TAD, Sir?" The question comes from Jack, who's forgotten about her upcoming trip to study a newly discovered formation as Earth's flagship was passing. He was at the briefing; she remembers because he bought her cake afterwards while asking questions about the nebula; she'd corrected him because the formation was different from a nebula, they didn't know why yet, and that's what she wanted to find out. She'd ignored the indulgent curve of his lips, quietly revelling as he dropped his usual façade to let her see the side of him which has more than a passing interest in astronomy.
"Major Carter will be rendezvousing with the Prometheus at the Beta site, Colonel. The rest of SG-1 will accompany Jacob and Master Bra'tac with Telchak's device to the Alpha site, where you will organise a coordinated protective detail."
"Ah, General," Jack says as a token protest. He hates negotiating, especially when he knows the Tok'ra and the Jaffa devolve into an age-old pissing contest. Unfortunately, Daniel is their best negotiator slash diplomat and the rest of them have to protect him from himself at times.
"Jack," Hammond counters, a warning in his voice. Jack will go wherever Hammond needs him to go.
"What about-?" Her CO gestures in her direction. She's not sure if he's asking to go with her or why she gets out of going with him.
She swallows her smile. She can think of better things to do than refereeing the Tok'ra and the Jaffa and being near a little box that reanimates the dead. Tingles aside, she can't wait to witness the formation they found up close from a window of the X303. A ride on the Prometheus doesn't sound too bad either.
"Major Carter will depart when Doctor Frasier has cleared her," Hammond tells him, as he interprets Jack's question as concern for a member of his team while not trying to get out of his assignment. Appeased or relieved by Hammond's announcement, Jack lets it drop. "Alright, let's get the device secured and ready for transport, you leave in the morning."
With that, the older men leave, their low conversation unable to be discerned as they walk down the corridor. Sam clears her throat and moves towards the device cautiously, her blood pulsing in her veins. All she can think about is what the device is capable of, what she could do with it.
"Here," Jack says as he moves next to her, placing a transport crate on the workbench next to the device. He eyes it as wearily as she had before picking it up and placing it inside the crate, securing the lock.
"Thank you, Sir," Sam utters, gratefully.
Normally, she wouldn't ask. Normally, he'd let her do it, to prove a point to herself. Sam doesn't have to prove that point to him, never really had to if she's honest with herself. She just wanted to after their first meeting when he was an ass. She'd thought it was because she is a woman, but he objected to scientists. Well, she's equal parts woman, scientist and soldier. She prides herself on it.
Besides, she secretly wanted to impress him.
It worked. Kind of.
Sam knows she impresses him regularly, she still hasn't completely sold him on all scientists.
"So, the Prometheus?" Jack asks. He leans against her workbench, and she's thrown back to her kitchen the night before. When he was washing up, they were flirting with the line. When she was more honest than she usually is.
"I'm going to study the unusual formation detected by the scanners," Sam corrects indulgently. She watches him for a long beat. "Jealous?"
"Kinda," Jack admits freely, returning her stare. The idea of stargazing up close and personal with Jack and the stars sounds way too appealing, creating images of just the two of them on his roof, with just the telescope and a couple of beers. Sam looks down at the workbench for something to distract her. "You get to explore the stars while I get to play 'eye spy' with Teal'c." He pauses as she laughs, meeting his eyes again. "He spies a tree every time."
Sam cocks her head at him.
"I don't like it when the team is split up," Jack discloses quietly.
This isn't news to her. He likes to keep an eye on them in case things go awry, as they inevitably do. The team should have each other's back. The guilt eats away at him; as it does to the rest of them when their roles are reversed. As it ate away at her last year when he was trapped on the moon with Maybourne.
"The Prometheus has to keep to its schedule. I'll only need about two hours to gather the information I need," Sam tries to reassure him. "Maybe the general would let me meet you at the Alpha site."
His lips quirk at the suggestion. "We should have a team night when we get back."
The team has had a lot of separate assignments lately, it'll be nice to reconnect. "My turn to do the dishes," Sam smiles, remembering their conversation from the night before.
"We could make Daniel do 'em," Jack counters, smirking at her. She nods thoughtfully, considering it.
It's moments like this where any residual doubts Jacob instilled in her, the ones she's instilled in herself, ebb away. They admitted their feelings years ago and she was the one who said it couldn't go any further. She can only imagine if she hadn't. If they had discussed their confessions, they might have decided something different. She can't change the past, her decisions or how they've acted since. Of how they drifted apart when they first lost Daniel, of how they've grown closer since he returned. She doesn't blame him for shutting her out, but she would've given anything for him to let her in. She doubts she would've been able to toe the Air Force line if he had. Despite that, she like the semi-honesty they've attained, where there's acknowledgement even if they don't act on their feelings.
"It's good you don't have to cancel on your brother," Jack tells her.
"Yeah, I've missed my niece and nephew so much." Mark's visit had been in the back of her mind most of the morning. Carter family dinners can be hit and miss, but the kids' presence usually gives everyone something else to focus on.
"Dad know how to cook?" She looks at him quizzically and he nods at her wrist still supported by the sling. "How is it today?"
"Oh, it's fine." Well, the swelling has gone down and the pain is bearable. "I have a little movement back, but have you tried getting Janet to sign off on a field duty without following her orders?"
"Good point," he concedes. He reaches out and pokes a finger under the fabric of the sling to look at her wrist. "Make sure Frasier clears you," he says gruffly after a beat, letting the fabric fall back into place.
"Of course," Sam replies softly. Their eyes meet. "This is just a quick trip, I'll be back before you know it."
888
"And then your dad -."
"I think we've heard enough Dad," Mark interrupts as his daughter Lucy giggles in anticipation at Jacob's story and the punchline.
Sam sips at her wine while sharing a glance with her sister-in-law Heather across the table as her brother and father entertain the kids with stories from their childhood. Her niece and nephew lap up the attention from their grandfather who they rarely see. Sam casts her gaze towards her father, whose eyes sparkle at the children. There's no lingering strain that punctuated their working day. She got more than one curious glance from Jack, who was obviously wondering what had happened between him leaving her house last night and arriving at the base in the morning. She managed to dodge any direct questions; luckily Daniel was too engrossed with Telchak's device to notice.
"What about the time when Sam-?" Jacob starts, bringing her out of her daydream.
"Dad!" Sam squeaks before Jacob embarrasses her. The other adults look at her oddly before she realises she's half standing in protest. "Why are you bringing me into this?"
"I don't want you to feel left out," Jacob shrugs impishly, his eyes sparkling while gathering the plates from dinner. Mark stands to help, grabbing the empty serving dishes to take to the sink. Jacob quickly pulls out the pie and plates for dessert while Mark finishes clearing the table.
"Must be nice to not have to do anything tonight, huh Sam," Heather asks.
"Huh?" Sam replies, tearing her eyes away from watching her father and brother work together. It's a rare, peaceful sight.
"You're arm?" Heather clarifies with a nod at her sling.
"Oh, yeah," Sam replies awkwardly. "We'd probably just have take out if it was me and Dad."
"Yep, my little sister avoids the kitchen as much as possible," Mark says, dodging the paper napkin Sam throws at him half-heartedly. Her brother laughs at his own joke while passing out the pie and ice cream Jacob plated. When they're all seated, Mark continues, "How is work, you know, apart from falling down ladders when checking the telescope?"
Sam pulls a face as her brother repeats the story she'd come up with for her sprained wrist. Mark rarely enquires about her job, even though his contempt for the Air Force seems to be thawing along with his relationship with Jacob to a begrudging acceptance. "It's the same as usual."
"Deep-space radars?"
"Telemetry," Sam corrects with a scowl at the smirk her brother aims at her. He likes winding her up. "I can tell you all about it if you really wanna know," she suggests playfully. Luckily, she knows all about her cover story. Luckily, her brother backs down when she offers to tell him all about it. She snags a victory spoonful of pie and ice cream to celebrate.
"You know, if you've got some free time, I was wondering if you could show a friend of mine around. He's new to the area," Mark says around a mouthful of pie.
Heather groans into her glass, rolling her eyes. "Mark," she drawls, shooting a look at her husband.
Sam glances between them, sensing a deeper conversation going on between husband and wife. She pointedly ignores Jacob's watchful gaze. "What?"
"My friend," her brother scratches the back of his neck, clearing his throat. "You're both single and I thought you might get along," he explains. "Pete just got out of a relationship. You haven't mentioned anyone since Jonas, so I thought, you know, Pete's a good friend."
"You're trying to set me up?" Sam inwardly curses her voice rising an octave. She really doesn't like where this conversation is going.
"You're not seeing anyone, are you?" Mark counters.
Sam's hesitation has nothing to do with Jacob's keen interest in the sudden turn in conversation and everything to do with the fact that she's not sure of the answer. She's suddenly sick of this grey area she's stuck in with Jack. The one where they revolve around each other in continual denial of giving up or giving in.
The sound of Jacob clearing his throat brings her back to the present. "Uh," Sam falters, refusing to meet the older man's eyes.
"You are?" Mark raises his eyebrows in surprise. She should be offended by his surprise.
"Uh, no," she clarifies. "No, I'm not."
That's the miserable truth. Despite the fact, Jack spent all day finding excuses to be in her lab; progress reports, coffee, lunch, coffee, cake, making her smile - she's not allowed to giggle.
"So, you'll meet Pete?"
"I'm going away for work next week and have a lot to prepare," Sam tries, hoping he'll drop the subject. Her father bobs his head almost imperceptibly, almost approvingly. She doesn't know what he's trying to say after last night.
"How about I give you his number and if you get time..?" Mark lets the question hang in the air, looking between Sam and Jacob.
"Okay," Sam agrees, awkwardly.
888
A couple of hours later, Sam's sitting out on her deck looking up at the stars. She hadn't been good company after dinner and Heather quickly ushered the kids off to bed. Jacob offered to read bedtime stories when the kids complained they weren't sleepy. He rarely gets the opportunity.
"You okay?" Mark asks as he drops down on the step beside her.
"Just thinking," Sam replies.
"Sounds dangerous." Apparently, being guarded runs in the family. "Look, I'm sorry about before, I didn't mean to push."
"You were more presumptuous than pushy," Sam sighs. "I'm not seeing anyone," she confirms quietly.
"You don't sound too sure there, sis," Mark says carefully, his concern clear.
"There's someone that I care about," she admits on a breath, stealing a glance at him. His eyes bug slightly.
"Oh, wow, you never said anything," Mark says, scratching the back of his head, a good sign he's uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. "I mean, uh, I mean, you haven't mentioned anyone since…" he finally meets her eyes, waving his hand at her as he trails off. He met Jonas twice and he never liked him. His eyes cloud over as he considers her words. "Why aren't you seeing them?"
Sam can see him thinking, the thoughts and concern flickers across his face clearly as he comes up with his own scenarios about why, whether it's a married man, someone who doesn't return her feelings. The truth is, he isn't and he does.
"It's complicated," she tells him knowing he won't let it go until she gives him some answers.
Mark pulls a face, rearing back slightly, like the last thing he wants to do is talk about his little sister's love life. He can set her up, but he doesn't have to hear about it. "How complicated?" He reluctantly asks.
"You don't want to know." She almost tacks on 'believe me', but resists the impulse because she can imagine his reaction.
"Try me."
Sam could hug him for trying to be the supportive big brother he hasn't been in years, but this isn't a conversation she can have with anyone, and if she does, she questions whether it should be with Mark.
"Come on, Sam, it's not like it's your CO, is it?" Mark laughs, trying to make light of the conversation. She sucks in a breath and tries to remain calm. The realisation dawns and he asks again with an edge to his voice. "It isn't, is it?"
Sam draws her knees up to the step and crosses her arms over them, refusing to answer him.
"Shit...Is he…? Has he…?"
"God, Mark, no!" Sam snaps, firing back at the implication. This is exactly what they'd be fighting with their superiors. "Do you think I'd care about him if he tried any of that?"
"Woah, Sam, relax. I'm asking because I care, I've never met the guy," Mark leans back, rightfully chastised, holding his hands up in surrender.
Sam breathes in deeply, regaining her composure. "He's a good man and he cares about me," she explains. "We've never broken the regulations."
The silence stretches between them, the sound of crickets in her garden is the only answer to her confession. Mark stares out into the dark and Sam doesn't feel like revealing any more details until she can gauge his reaction. He's giving her nothing, he's blank. She expected anger, an acerbic word directed at the Air Force, Jack, her, yet nothing.
"Guess it's a good thing Dad doesn't know," Mark quips eventually.
Sam bites her lip as she's reminded of the conversation she had with Jacob 24-hours before in the exact same spot. She looks down at her lap, sighing.
"Shit, Sam," Mark exclaims, realisation dawning. "And your boss still has his job?"
"Dad likes him," Sam shrugs, resisting the urge to bury her head in her hands. This is completely screwed. She and her brother have never been one to discuss guys she dates, he used to be 'don't ask, don't tell'. Not that he'd betray her confidence, but anyone could be listening.
"Shit," he says thoughtfully. "Look, I don't know this guy and if Dad doesn't have a problem with it, I think he's probably alright."
"Thanks for your resounding assessment and support," Sam quips. She won't let slip what Jacob said last night. She won't defend her situation by saying if Jack could, he'd retire or she'd take a civilian position. There are other complicating factors Mark can, will never know about.
"I'm not done," Mark counters, holding up a hand. "I just…You said it yourself, nothing's happened. Nothing can happen." He pauses. "How do you know these feelings aren't just because of your job?"
Sam's head snaps up. Mark laughs. "Come on, Sam, I know you well enough to know when you're lying," he explains. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask. I don't want to know what you're doing. If you say it's important, it's important." He waits for a beat. "Not that you wouldn't be studying deep space if you could, you'd get lost in it and still love it."
She smiles gratefully, relieved. "I love my job, Mark."
"I know you do, Sam. I just don't want you to miss out on love because of it."