I love you Regina" I breathe into the kiss, detach myself from her and say: "And everything I just said to you, I meant it from the bottom of my heart!

Regina's view

Did I understand that correctly? Did Emma really just say that she loves me? Am I dreaming right now? Or is this really happening?

There is a huge emotional chaos inside me. That's exactly what I've wanted for a long time, so why is there a strange feeling inside me? Why is my stomach contracting? Why do my lungs hurt so unbelievably right now and why am I almost not able to breathe? I should actually be bubbling over with happiness right now, jump up, pull Emma into my arms and kiss her. After all, this is how I had always imagined this moment. I should actually tell her now that I love her, too, but I cannot. Something prevents me from doing so. My heartbeat accelerates rapidly and this time it is different, it is not because of the closeness to Emma, something is wrong. I find it hard to keep my eyes open, I suddenly feel very dizzy and my skin burns as if I were on fire. But at the same time I feel incredibly cold and start to shiver, I can't stop it. I drift further and further, but this time not in my thoughts, no I can not hold myself, lose consciousness and fall into an endless nothing...

-Flashback-

I sit by the window and write. Lately I have been writing a lot. They are somber poems that usually come out of it. One of them, I read through again and again and the thoughts I had while writing the poem to it, I also wrote down to be able to remember.

"Life in an endless time,

with the certainty that nothing remains."

Time just won't pass, I'm 21 years old and it feels like I've already lost everything. My father who I loved more than anything is not the same anymore, he met a woman... I hate this woman...

Daniel, the love of my life, died in an operation because of a mistake... That damn whale. Only the pending trial, where I want him to lose his medical license, does not let me go completely crazy...

With the thought of a lost world,

if Whale is allowed to continue practicing medicine, it contributes to the belief in a lost world. Also through this woman you think that the world is lost, so much bad she brings about...

where everyone says what they don't like.

I'd like to give my opinion on her, but my father won't listen to me... I did with Whale, we'll see how it turns out...

The thought that someday it will be different, You always say 'hope dies last', maybe I have to hold on to that and believe that it can be like it was before...

even if one knows that one is lost in hope.

I know that, because I've just been hoping for too long to believe in it anymore, even though I keep meaning to...

A world in which no one knows where his head is,

Often I feel alone and misunderstood, not only often, but actually always, I lose myself...

because everything revolves around fears and doubts.

I doubt that someday there will be something good in my life again... I am afraid to die without having lived... My 'life' ended with Daniel's death and yet I am still here...

You can't see the goal of life. How can you find a goal in life if you don't see any meaning in it? How can you understand what life is when you miss yourself and everything else inside?

we are lonely, silent and stand still. Who can you tell how you feel when not even your own father listens? Who can you talk to when you are alone? With no one, so we remain silent, alone in ourselves. We stand still, maybe that's the way it has to be...

There is a rope around our necks,

Because at some point you can no longer, we are only human and without love it's hard...

... we disappear in a moment."

When you are alone and you miss love, you are invisible, no one notices how you disappear in every moment. No one notices when you are silently dying a little more every day.

I wrote this poem a month ago and it still speaks to me from my soul. I am lost and alone and I believe it will never be different again.

Actually, I was never the type who writes his feelings in words and certainly not in lyrical form, but that changed... When you don't have a person to talk to, you inevitably start to write down everything you want to say. But it's just easier when you turn it into lyrics, poems or stories, because then you can say it was a task or you're just doing it as a 'hobby'. You don't have to admit that this is what you feel. I wish that this woman, I think her name is Cora... Finally disappears from my father's life, she pulls him, out of his life and that although they are not even together... In the meantime he is hardly ever with me... Very rarely I see him anymore and when I do we don't really talk... I have lost my love, he was supposed to be there for me... Supporting me in the trial against Whale, encouraging me and comforting me, but he is not there, was not there even once...

I have no one left but him.

-Flashback End-

Emma's view

Regina, what's wrong? Is everything all right?" I ask her. She doesn't look well, something seems to be wrong. Her breathing is relatively shallow, it seems as if she has trouble breathing. She puts her right hand on her stomach, her left hand on her chest. All the color is gone from her face and her eyes express a deep emptiness. Is she having a panic attack? Have I misinterpreted everything? Is she overwhelmed with what I have said? Does she not feel that way about me? Or worse, is she missing something? I put my hand to her forehead, damn it, it's glowing.

Regina, we have to get you out of here, you're burning up, you must have a fever."

As if it was her cue, Regina starts shaking uncontrollably, she tips forward slightly and her eyes close. I react quickly and catch her before she hits the floor. I try to talk to her, but she still has her eyes closed. Regina? Can you hear me?" I ask, but get no response. She doesn't respond at all, no matter what I try. I guess she is unconscious.

Gently, I put my arms around her so I can lift her up. Carefully I carry her back to the cottage, slightly loosening the towel and catching a glimpse of her bust. The heat shoots through my body and inappropriate thoughts gather in my head.

Take a deep breath Emma, this is really the wrong time for such thoughts or feelings". I say to myself and concentrate again on bringing Regina safely to the cottage to cool down her body. My gaze from then on is only on the path ahead of me. If cooling her down doesn't bring her back to consciousness, I'll take her to the hospital.

Oh God, please let her wake up soon. I'm so worried about her again, what if I lose her...? No stop, I can't even think that! She just has a fever, as soon as her temperature is back to normal she will wake up and she will be fine.

Fortunately, the cottage is finally in sight and there are only a few more steps to go. Once inside, I lay her on the bed and cover her body with the blanket. Immediately I go into the bathroom, soak a few towels with cold water and go back. I pull the blanket off her body again to place one of the cold towels over each leg. I place another towel on her forehead before covering her up again. Please let this work, I plead inwardly as I go to the kitchen to get a glass of cool water, which I place on the nightstand next to Regina. I check to see if the towels are still cold enough and find that they have already warmed up after the short time. So I take them off Regina's body again and replace them with new cold towels. Then I check her still shallow breathing to make sure she doesn't just stop... I repeat this process a few times, hoping that Regina will wake up soon.

Regina's view

I am so cold and my body feels as if it is being pulled down by stones weighing tons. My skin burns slightly, but not too much, but my limbs hurt. I want to open my eyes, but I can't because my eyelids are too heavy. My head and legs feel lighter now, as if someone had taken some weight off them. This feeling doesn't last long, however, because now the weight that had been taken off before settles over me again and a renewed wave of coldness jolts through my body. What had happened? Spasmodically I try to remember... I had kissed Emma, but I had thought it was a daydream. After I realized it wasn't a daydream, I ran outside, sat down somewhere and thought. Emma found me, had said she wasn't sorry about the kiss after I apologized.

She had said that she had finally found a family in Storybrooke, but that she was missing something. Emma said that I was her home, that I made her feel safe and secure, that I had broken through her protective walls. Wait, wait, now I remember, Emma said that she loved me.

The coldness that I felt so strongly before, I no longer perceive, because I suddenly become warm, no unpleasant warmth, no much more an inner pleasant warmth that radiates from my heart to the rest of my body. Emma loves me, she returns my feelings. Did I tell her that I love her? I can't remember exactly, something had happened. I try to open my eyes again to look around, but again it doesn't work. Am I still outside? I don't think so, at least the ground doesn't feel hard under me. Had we gone back inside? Were we talking? Then why don't I remember it? Was I asleep and am just still too tired to remember everything? I don't know, but I'm sure I will soon.

The weight is off my body again and with it the rest of the cold. This feels so much better. I try to move, but that just doesn't work either. Already the weight and the cold settles over me again. I had rejoiced too soon. What is it? Why does it always disappear for a short moment and then come back stronger? I will probably have to resign myself to not getting any answers for the time being.

I feel myself slowly drifting off again and fall into a dreamless sleep.

Emma's view

Regina's breathing has finally returned to normal, her body temperature also seems to have finally dropped, and I take the towels off her body and put her in the bathroom. Since Regina now seems to be asleep instead of unconscious, I lie down in bed next to her and try to fall asleep as well. This is more difficult than I thought, however, as I am still worried about her. I feel an arm around me and open my eyes. Regina snuggles up to me, I put my arm around her and then pull her into my arm so she can lie more comfortably. I concentrate on her breathing, ready to act on a change. However, her regular breathing calms me so much that I soon can't keep my eyes open and fall asleep.