Chapter 18: Helping Out

Yosuzume: So you're a detective, Mr. Shogi?

Shogi: Wha? Where's that voice coming from? Am I tripping?

Yosuzume: No. Try your mind.

Shogi: Yeah. I must be totally tripping now. Man, I really got put off the shrooms. It's not good for my line of work.

So my little detective here is a roofie. How is a bug like him a private investigator anyways? What is he some kind of functioning addict?

…

Hm, well some of my associates when I used to work at Mcdonalds did do LSD and as far as I could recall, it didn't really affect their ability to work, so it's possible Mr. Shogi must be one of those functional addicts. Anyways, why am I even pondering about that? It's not like it's important.

..

Oh wait. Did another one of my memories return to me? So I used to work at McDonalds. Perhaps when I get the chance I'll visit one of their places to see if I can find another part of myself.

Yosuzume: So I'm just a little voice in your head, hm? But there's nothing inherently wrong with hearing another voice, to hear voices. That's not the definition of insanity.

Shogi: True. There are benign hallucinations. If I recall correctly, there were a couple of studies which indicate that around 10 to 15% of the population experiences, experienced or will experience an auditory hallucination of some kind. Oh and in a nutshell most people who do hear voices in their heads are for the most part mentally well.

?

A benign hallucination? I have never heard of such a word and besides. From Mr. Shogi's thoughts, he takes shrooms so wouldn't those mind altering substances be affecting his cognizance? Why would his case be that of this 'benign' hallucination?

Yosuzume: So then, there's no need for you to dismiss me all that quickly. Mr. Shogi. Those vines which have been sprouting about must be problematic, yes?

Shogi: Oh for sure. Goddamned weeds are indestructible I say!

Yosuzume: Yes, and with how they spread, it must be taking a toll on Tokyo's marketing values. If only there were a way we could use to trace their origin, to find out what they are and to stop them.

Shogi: Heh, well that's just the talk of fantasy. I'm a grown man. I can't let myself drift off to lala land.

Yosuzume: But there's no harm in imagining every once in a while right? Just imagine. You have a helper. Someone to help you with your every task. A disposable tool for you to use.

Shogi: … You. You're not just a voice in my head.

Yosuzume: Oh. So you've found out. How'd you know?

Shogi: Well there's this navy blue bubbly cloud forming in my workspace right now and when I thought of a puppy, it started to take the shape of one and after that I was considering a power drill…

Yosuzume: Mh hm.

Shogi: Just what is that thing?

Yosuzume: Oh that's your new companion. They take on whatever form you desire of it.

Shogi: So that's why it's changing.

Yosuzume: Yes, and furthermore this little beast can be fitted with all sorts of personality.

Shogi: … why are you doing this?

Yosuzume: Well someone needs to protect the people of Tokyo. Why not let it be yourself? With this supernatural helper I'm gifting you, you can become Japan's star. Who knows? Perhaps the two of you could become renown heroes?

Shogi: Renowned heroes.. Yes. I like the sound of that.

Yosuzume: You do, yes. It's very good. Just imagine all the possibilities. Now first we need to decide on what form your friend should take.

Shogi: Oh, well why don't you do that.

Yosuzume: I can't.

Shogi: Why not?

Yosuzume: It's your friend. What right would I have to create one for you? Only you know what form would best suit your friend.

Actually it's because since this sentimonster is being created for you, only the recipient gets to decide the sentimonster's form and powers.

Shogi: Hm… alright. A Shinizu puppy?

Yosuzume: "Eh?"

Yosuzume: Are you sure? I mean, how are you going to justify a puppy showing up in your work office?

Shogi: But it's so cute! Besides, I always wanted to have a dog but my parents would never let me and now that I can just create one-

Yosuzume: Whoa! Whoa! Back up there. There's no need to do that. There are plenty of dog shelters you can just-

Shogi: Hey! This is my friend right? So I should be the one deciding on that.

Yosuzume: Y-yes. That's right. I won't butt in.

Shogi: That's much better.

Yosuzume: But I thought I'd just let you know that whatever form your friend takes, also affects their behaviour.

Shogi: …

Yosuzume: Why the silence? Surely you don't plan on having that artificial puppy-

Shogi: I'll just gift my super puppy with super intelligence.

Yosuzume: Then this arrangement is off.

Shogi: What are you-

Yosuzume: Don't forget. Your new friend only exists because of me. Obviously from my short stint of you, I can tell you're just not cut out for the work.

Shogi: Wha-

Yosuzume: Looks like it's time for me to pick someone more worthy to become the Hero of Tokyo.

Shogi: H- hold on a minute! Wha- wait just a second. Just give me another chance.

Yosuzume: Another chance, hm?

Shogi: Okay. So you find a puppy to not be a good form for my friend. How about a wolf?

Yosuzume: And you're planning on feeding your wolf how? Besides, how are you going to control such a beast? Baka! Did you ever stop to think about that?

Well the form by which your sentimonster will take won't matter because you will have the item containing its amok, or that would be the case if it wasn't for the fact that the amok is in the monitor of this Vaio Z laptop I have. This shall be interesting. Usually the one who holds the amok controls the sentimonster but since no one will be holding this laptop during its creation-

No. If I recall correctly, the Miraculous guide did say that when the sentimonster is formed, the recipient need not to hold the item containing its amok to form a link with the sentimonster. In summary this sentimonster will only follow its initial programming if it's formed without anyone holding the item containing its amok. There's still much I need to learn about this power but for now, this will do.

Shogi: Well then. What do you suggest? A spider?

Yosuzume: NO! Fuck no, get that shit out. Don't even consider it.

Shogi: … Are you per chance afraid of spiders?

Yosuzume: What are you-

Shogi: I knew it. You're an arachnophobe. It's okay. My wife's also a-

Yosuzume: Sh- shut up! No one asked you! Think of a spider and I'll snap it out of existence! And why a spider of all things?

Shogi: I like spiders. Why, I used to have this one very bi-

Yosuzume: You have problems. Disgusting. That's it. You can't come up with anything decent so I'mma just going to set this straight for you. Your friend will be an AI names SAL, you'll be able to direct its initiatives on your… what personal computer device would you.. No! If you want to control your friend, you'll have to use your smartphone. That is where you will control SAL.

Shogi: eh..-

Yosuzume: If you don't like it, I can just-

Shogi: No! It's alright.

…

Shogi: So. If my friend is going to be some smartphone app, what sort of functions should it have?

Now to persuade Mr. Shogi in crafting his sentimonster with functioning abilities and superpowers.

Yosuzume: For starters SAL should be a webcrawler. You are a detective, yes? Being able to easily amass information online and process it should be very handy.

Shogi: And illegal.

Yosuzume: Ain't illegal if you don't get caught and besides. Why are you presuming SAL is supposed to be spyware?

Shogi: So SAL should just be your average internet tracker.

Yosuzume: But if SAL is too generic, then your friend won't be of much help

Shogi: Mm hm. Okay, let's have SAL be a social media search trend tracker.

Yosuzume: A bit better.

Shogi: By determining what parameters SAL should look for, I'll be able to have SAL easily catalog only useful information.

Yes, it is a start. With this fool's sentimonster I will be rid of those vines, of the only threat to me right now and once they're done I'll be sure to put a bullet through Mr. Shogi's forehead. Let's see. Perhaps I should do it while he's sleeping?

…

Nah, too much effort. Once that bug has served its purpose I'll just hunt him down and kill him myself. That's another feature of the Peacock Miraculous I have learned recently. I can detect and track down amoks and since the amok I've placed into this laptop will be going to Mr. Shogi's smartphone via the internet, it will be simple just fo finish him off once the deed is done.

Yosuzume: That's good. That's very good. Say hello to SAL.