Author note:

This one's pretty angtsy, (is that a word?). But it wouldn't leave me alone. I hope you enjoy.

CH 6-His Heart

Emma tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. She punched at her pillow and sighed audibly. Clay's arms wrapped around her and she heard him speak.

"What's wrong honey?"

"I just can't sleep. Can't find a comfortable position. I'm sorry, I know you need your rest. I'll move to the couch."

His arms tightened around her, holding her in place. "No, you don't need to do that. I thought maybe the baby was keeping you up." One hand rubbed gently over her rounded belly.

"In a way I guess he is. I just…there's no position that's really comfortable."

His hand had stilled, resting unmoving on her stomach. She glanced at Clay and saw his eyes were closed again. She was happy he'd been able to fall back asleep. She vowed that she would hold as still as possible to not wake him again. Although the team was not on active status at the moment, he still reported to base each day and needed to review intel and keep the team in top form.

Emma let her mind go and sorted through everything she needed to accomplish before the baby was born. Her main concern had been alleviated when Clay had made it home from deployment on schedule a week ago. He wouldn't miss the birth of their son. As she mentally ticked through her list, a sudden pain tore through her and stole her breath.

"Ahh, owww."

Clay was instantly awake. He felt her belly go hard and her body stiffen beside him.

"Em…are you okay? Are you in pain?"

"I need, owww, can you help me?"

He was on his feet in a flash and put his arm around her and helped her to stand. Before she could even take a step, she felt a rush of fluid between her legs splash to the floor. She doubled over in pain. Clay did his best to hold her upright.

"Em?" He looked at her with wide-eyed panic.

"My water…it's definitely time."

"Um, okay. Let's get you cleaned up and ready to go. I'll call your Dad and Vic & Maria. One of them should be able to come stay with Quinn."

They got themselves ready and Clay carried her downstairs to the couch. While they waited for Vic and his wife to get there, Emma had several more contractions, each only growing more intense.

She grasped Clay's hand, trying to breathe through the pain. "Honey, I'm scared. Things are moving so fast. This isn't like with Quinn at all."

He agreed with her, but he didn't want to show her his worry. Pulling her to rest against him, he smoothed her hair back from her face. "I know babe. I know it's a little early but, I guess now that I'm home little man is anxious to meet his daddy."

She started to relax just a little when he felt her go ramrod straight and suck in a breath.

"Em…baby? Honey…"

She didn't answer only laid there, eyes blankly staring at his face. Clay shook her shoulders, completely panicked, trying to get her to respond.

"Emmie…Emmie, baby, talk to me…pleeease Emma."

Thankfully, Vic and his wife walked in at that moment. Clay sprung up from the couch with Emma in his arms.

"Boss, what's wrong?"

"It's Emma, something's really wrong. Can you…?"

"Yea, I'll drive, Maria will stay with Quinn."

They rushed to the car and Clay settled in the back seat with Emma while Vic sped to the hospital. Clay held Emma; thank God she was breathing. He was praying with all his might that everything would be okay. He couldn't lose them. He could feel himself starting to spiral out of control. He tapped into his training to clamp down on his feelings. He rubbed Emma's belly and pressed kisses to her hair, continuing to murmur encouragement to her.

"You're okay Em. It's all going to be okay. You're fine. You and AJ are gonna be okay. I love you honey. You just need to hold on for a little bit longer. We're almost there now. Just breathe for me honey. Breathe baby. I love you so much Emmie."

Vic had called into the hospital. When they skidded to a stop in front of the ER, they were there with a gurney, waiting. Clay lifted Emma out of the car and laid her on the stretcher and jogged along as they hurried her inside.

They got her into a cubicle and started to track her vitals. The attending physician turned to Clay.

"Sir, I know you want to be with your wife, but it would really be best if you went to the waiting room and let us do our jobs."

Clay shook his head frantically. "No, no. I'm not leaving her." He was genuinely afraid that every breath could be her last.

"I'm sorry. I have to insist. We will keep you informed and let you know the minute we know something."

Clay kissed Emma's cheek and allowed himself to be shown to the waiting area. He sat with his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. How could this be happening? What if…NO! He couldn't let himself go there. He couldn't lose them. He wouldn't lose them.

Vic came in from parking the car and found Clay in the corner of the room. "Boss?" There was no response. He tried again, "Clay, what's going on? How are Emma and the baby?"

Clay raised his head and Vic could see the anguish written across his face. Tears were falling from his eyes and trailing into his beard. He didn't even seem to be aware that he was crying. The seriousness of the situation hit Vic like a gut punch. He'd seen Clay in combat, walking around with bullet wounds and broken bones without so much as flinching. To see his team-leader and friend like this was heart-wrenching.

Clay finally answered. "I…I don't really know. They made me leave before…"

"What can I do man? How can I help?"

Clay willed himself to think. What would Emma want? "Can you fill Jason in? He should be here. Hey, could you see if Naima's working now? Maybe she can find out what's going on in there."

"Sure thing man. I'm on it."

Vic laid a hand on Clay's shoulder. "They'll be fine. I know they'll be fine." Then he walked to the other side of the room to make his calls.

Clay was tired of waiting. He was pacing the room like a caged animal. Why weren't telling him anything? What the hell was going on? He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It wasn't the doctor, but Naima. He noticed she word her regular clothes, not her nurse's scrubs.

"Naima, you didn't have to come all the way here. I just thought that if you were working…"

"It's fine. Emma's like my daughter. I need to know what's going on too."

The pair hugged and Clay broke down in her arms. She held him, rubbing his back and whispering words of comfort.

"Oh God, Naima. What if…I can't live without her. I can't. She has to be okay. And the baby. Our little boy…" He just sobbed.

This was the scene Jason walked in on. He immediately thought the worst. Vic spoke to him and let him know that the situation hadn't changed yet. Naima let Clay go and Jason led him to sit down while she went to see what she could find out about Emma's condition.

Clay looked into Jason's eyes and saw his tears and concern mirrored there. How could this be happening?

"Jace…how…what do I do?" He was used to working the problem, finding a solution. But all he could do, all any of them could do was sit and wait and pray.

Naima finally returned. She sat next to Clay and took his hand. He feared the worst and was afraid to breathe.

"Emma's is holding her own. Apparently, her blood pressure spiked, and she had a small seizure. They're working on getting that under control. She's stable now at least."

"And …the baby?"

"The baby isn't handling the stress well…his heart rate is dropping. The doctor thinks that the best bet is to do an emergency C-section to get him out. "

"Is that okay, will he be okay?"

"It's fine. His lungs should be developed by this point. He just might be a little small…"

Clay nodded and she continued. "And…the C-section is best for the baby, but it could be dangerous for Emma with her blood pressure still so high. They need you to decide Clay, the doctor needs for you to give him the okay to do the C-section."

This was a nightmare. Clay had never been so scared in his life. He didn't know what to do. He could handle bullets and grenades flying at him and trying to cheat death on any OP, but he was completely lost with this.

"What should I do?"

"I can't tell you that honey. But, what would Emma want?"

Clay took a deep breath and knew that Emma would do anything to protect their child. She would want the baby to be safe. "Do it. Get the baby out."

"Okay. Come on. Let's go talk the doctor. And maybe you can see Emma for a minute before they prep her."

They walked off leaving Jason and Vic sitting in the waiting room.

Clay spoke with the doctor and gave his permission for the emergency C-section. They did allow him to see Emma briefly. He sat on the chair next to her bed and held her hand in his. It was so small and delicate, but strong and capable. He almost didn't have words. He had loved Emma since he'd spoken with her that day at Ray and Naima's cookout. He had never met anyone so compassionate and caring. She was smart, and beautiful and fun. And she was an excellent mother to Quinn. He still marveled that she had fallen in love with someone like him. He wanted more time. He wanted forever with her. A steady stream of tears flowed from his eyes as he held her hand to his lips.

All he could manage was, "I love you Emmie. I need you. Quinn needs you. Please baby, fight."

The nurses came in and he had to leave. Leaning over to kiss her one more time, Clay almost lost it. They stopped Emma's bed in the hallway for Jason to give Emma a kiss. Clay had crumpled and Jason helped him back to the waiting room.

By this time Ray had joined them and he and Vic had contacted the rest of current and previous Bravo teams as well as Mikey, and Emma's friends. Jason and Clay sat down hard and Ray pressed cups of coffee into their hands. Clay tried to refuse but Ray wouldn't accept it.

"You got to keep going brother. Emma and the baby will need you when this is done. Not to mention Quinn, when you get home."

Naima walked back in. She had become their conduit for information. "They'll start the C-section immediately. It shouldn't take long. You'll be holding your son soon Clay."

He nodded woodenly. It seemed wrong. This was supposed to be a joyous occasion. Their son deserved to be greeted with joy and love, not fear and despair.

In just thirty minutes, the OB came out and brought Clay back to meet his son. He held the little one and murmured words of love to him. Thankfully, he seemed completely fine.

Emma had weathered the procedure well and her blood pressure started to drop once they took the baby and they could administer stronger medicine to help her get it under control.

Clay took the baby out to meet his family. Jason was first. "Hi there, little man. How are you doing?"

"I know Emma wanted to tell you his name herself, but…"

"I'll wait," Jason interrupted. "I'll wait until she can tell me herself."

Clay nodded and returned the baby to the nurse. Now more waiting. It was driving him mad.

They all took turns getting him food and coaxing him to eat and drink. All he could think about was Emma. Vic called the house and checked on Quinn. Maria communicated that the little girl was fine, just missing her parents.

Finally, around midnight, a nurse came and got Clay. "Mr. Spenser, you can come see your wife now."

He hurried toward her room, excited and apprehensive about what he would find. He made it to her room and saw her laying silently in the bed. She looked more peaceful and her color was much better. He sat in the room's only chair and gently took her hand, weaving his fingers through hers. She began to stir, eyelids fluttering. Clay was by her side immediately. Smoothing back her hair and kissing her forehead.

"Come on Em. Wake up honey. Come back to us."

She tossed her head back and forth on the pillow and finally opened her eyes. Those enchanting blue eyes that Clay feared he'd never see again.

"Oh, thank God!"

She tried to speak, but no words came from her parched lips.

"Shhh, shhh honey. Don't try to talk." He kissed her cheeks and her lips repeatedly, assuring himself that this was real.

"Baby…what..." she croaked out.

Clay grabbed the water that was sitting on her bedside table and held the straw to her lips for a quick sip.

"The baby?" She uttered, eyes wide with fear.

"He's fine Em. They had to do a C-section, but he's fine. He's absolutely perfect."

Once she was assured her baby was healthy and safe, she was full of questions, but too tired to ask any of them. The doctor walked in and gave Clay a download. Emma and the baby would have to stay in the hospital for the next few days, but everything seemed under control now. There seemed to be no lingering affects from her seizure, but they would run a few more tests to be certain.

"Mrs. Spenser, are you ready to meet your son?"

Emma nodded eagerly as a nurse wheeled in his bassinette, and both left the little family alone. Clay lifted their son from his bed and laid him in Emma's arms.

Ignoring her own discomfort, she shifted to her side and started to nurse him. Clay was amazed at her strength. He situated himself behind her on the bed and wrapped an arm around both of them, crooning words of love to them both.

Naima peeked into the room. She hated to disturb them, but Jason wasn't going to wait much longer to see for himself that Emma was truly fine. She cleared her throat softly. Clay got up and met her at the door.

"Jason is about to explode out here. Can I send him back?"

Emma answered. "Yes. I think he's done anyway. Clay can you take him?"

Clay lifted the baby and cradled him against his strong chest and took a seat beside Emma.

Jason walked in quietly and went to Emma's bedside. "How are you Em?"

"I'm okay Dad. My blood pressure just got too high and they couldn't do much to treat it while the baby was still in there."

He nodded and reached for her hand. She had given them such a fright. He wasn't quite recovered yet.

"What do you think of your Grandson?"

"He's beautiful."

"And his name?"

Clay cut in. "I didn't tell him Emmie. We wanted to wait for you."

"He's Adam Jason Spenser," she said squeezing her father's hand.

Jason nodded and swallowed away tears. "Thank you, Em. Thanks to both of you."

Emma was tiring quickly; she had been through quite an ordeal. Thank goodness little AJ seemed unscathed.

Clay knew that if it had come down to it, Emma would have traded her life for her son's in an instant. He was relieved beyond measure that hadn't come to pass. He didn't know how he would go on without her. She was his heart and he knew that you couldn't live without a heart.