Chapter 67

The school term began before Severus was ready. If he was honest, though, which he basically was, he wouldn't ever be ready, because bottom line he didn't want to do it. In part this was due to him feeling he had more to lose. More than once he cursed his stupid weak desires for not pushing Magritte away harder...He'd not felt lonely or lacking until he was presented with honest, steady companionship from someone of like mind. Someone who truly got him and liked what they got. Someone who really would always be there. Such emotional attachments from anyone else would merely feel stifling, because anyone else who was insane enough to fancy they knew him would be wrong. They weren't like him and they didn't know him.

Somehow, though, someone existed with whom he felt complete, and while it was a strength, it was a weakness as well. Not to mention the owl. If something happened to that owl, he'd feel empty, lacking and he hated that. This year was going to be, as Nightshade would say, a motherfucker. A great deal was going to happen, because a great deal was set in motion and there was no choice but to go forward. Not for him or anyone else. He'd seen people lose loved ones in this war, and he didn't think he could take that.

With the death of Tobias Snape, six year old Severus had lost enough. Once he'd fantasized about being the one to stand over Voldemort and look into his dying eyes just to say that this was for Tobias Snape, the very best of Muggles. A man's name that, of course, the dark lord wouldn't even know. Severus would be happy to remind him, though, of the Muggle he'd killed for daring to enter a wizarding potions shop to buy something for his witch wife. He would remind him and savor the shock in the bastard's eyes as he died. This was not to be, though. Potter would strike the killing blow and likely Severus would be nowhere close simply because he no longer wished to take even the smallest risk with himself or those he loved. Not that he was trying to die before, because of course he wasn't. It was just that there was only him to consider. Now there were others and he vowed to himself that they'd all get out of this alive. Now that Adler's group existed, and he and the Westcravens were a part of it, the chances looked good if he was careful. The single bright side to the year was that Regulus Black would be taking over Potter's lessons.

That was one less ass pain Severus would have to deal with. Kreacher was concerned that Potter could not be trusted to keep his mouth shut concerning Regulus being alive, but Severus had a plan for that. He would make it clear to Harry that even telling his stupid little friends could put not only Regulus's life back in danger, but Potter's own as well. Once Voldemort was dead, anyone and everyone could know that Regulus lived, so he'd not have to keep a secret from his precious friends forever. While this was a grand plan, it never got put into action because Potter, in all his glowing wisdom, chose not to return to school. When he nor any of his friends were at the feast, Severus assumed they were...simply up to no good, but when they didn't turn up for the first day of classes either, he assumed the situation was more permanent. He wasn't concerned that the dark lord had captured or killed them, because there was no news in the papers on the matter.

/How are we to help the little prat if he won't allow it,/ Severus angrily ranted to Nightshade.

/Well...Like Dumblefuck said, you didn't like go out of your way to be cool with Potter so he's probably not eager to hang out with you,/ Nightshade replied carefully.

/Yes but if he had the brains the gods gave a slug, he'd have seen that I still saved him more than once,/ Severus replied angrily. Stupid, stupid boy. His belief that Potter could actually manage to kill Voldemort was fading more and more by the second as his anxiety rose. /He shall manage to ruin this and get himself killed instead,/ Severus told the owl dourly.

/That would suck,/ Nightshade replied. /We'd better get busy trying to prevent that shit./ Severus sighed and headed into his bedroom closet. As a result of now being Headmaster of Hogwarts, his bedroom was now Albus's former bedroom. Therefore his bedroom closet led to that of Bera Karkaroff's at Durmstrang. Stepping into the nearly empty closet, he pressed a hand against a slightly raised panel on the back wall. The Portkey was activated, and Severus with Nightshade on his shoulder were drawn through into another closet that held far more clothes.

/I hate fucking Portkeys,/ the owl complained. /They fuck up my feathers every single time and I have to spend fucking hours preening to arrange them properly again./

Fortunately the closet door was shut, so Severus wasn't at risk of seeing anything he didn't wish to see. He knocked loudly on the door, and heard a feminine squeak of alarm in response.

"Please get dressed if you aren't already," he called. "This is Severus Snape with a bit of an emergency...or at the very least a problem," he added after a moment of consideration.

After a few seconds the closet door burst open. "I vos getting ready for dinner. Albus is already down stairs," Bera Karkaroff said, peering nervously at Severus. "You may dine vith us if you like. You could speak to him about vat ever this is vile ve are eating."

Her dress robes were quite form fitting but at least far less revealing than the ones she'd sported at Hogwarts, he noted dryly. A headmistress of a boy's school dressing like a seductress would have been simply too disturbing. Idly Severus wondered if the more revealing robes had already done their job. "How is Albus," he asked as he hastily stepped out of the closet.

"He is vell. It is a pleasure having him teaching here."

"I'm sure you're feeling far safer," Severus couldn't resist saying.

"Don't sneer at me like that, Severus Snape." Bera Karkaroff drew herself up and met him eye to eye, her green gaze holding a marble hard glare. "He is safer here as vell. If you love him as he claims you do, like a father, you should be glad he is safe. I vould protect him vith all I have. I may not have the magic of a full vitch vithout my vand, but I have many resources at this school that I can call upon."

"Apparently not enough resources, if you so desperately need the extra one," Severus replied coldly. He was unmoved by her show of temper. "Albus is like a father to me, and I will keep watch on his safety no matter where he is. I won't allow him to endanger himself for someone like you."

"Somevone like me," she demanded coldly.

"A Squib, you mean?"

"Yes, a liability," Severus agreed, happily driving in the verbal knife. "But more than that I meant someone all too eager to seduce an older more powerful man to keep herself safe."

"And if I did, it is his business. He is no fool. I never believed he vas. A fool could not protect me, after all."

"So you admit to seducing him for protection!"

She shrugged. "Vy not? It is a trade of sorts...fair and square as it vere. I have no magic ven it comes down to it. All I have ever had is my beauty and my mind. I use both as the vepons they are. Had Albus Dumbledore chosen to exchange physical satisfaction for protection it vould be his business and mine and no von else's. Especially not yours. It isn't that vay, though, if you must know. I may have intended it to be, but I quickly came to care for him for the same reasons that you do. Because he is a good, vise, and vonderful man. He is funny and he brings me out of myself. I bring him out of himself. Ve make von another happy. Be happy for us or mind your own business."

/Disturbing as it is, she's telling the truth, Prof. she does love him,/ Nightshade said.

/I am aware. I can look for myself, you know,/ Severus said peevishly, and at once felt sorry for snapping at his only friend. Nightshade was only trying to help. Severus was just having a hard time with this. With someone else in Albus's life, taking up his time and affections. He had Mag, and his Mum so that wasn't fair, he knew. But...but what if Albus didn't have as much time for him now? "Lets go," he snapped to Karkaroff. She nodded wordlessly and led him from the room, down a stone corridor and down a long winding flight of stone stairs. The dining hall was quite unlike that of Hogwarts. It put Severus more in mind of the kitchen at Grimmauld place, dark and gloomy. Only Durmstrang had far more gargoyles. One on the back of each chair, in fact. The chairs themselves were made of heavy ebony wood, covered in ornate carvings, the gargoyle carved into the high back of each chair, wings spread to protectively shield whoever sat there. Albus sat one chair down from the head of the staff table, obviously at Karkaroff's side. His blue eyes lit with pleasure at sight of Severus before they clouded over with concern. As Bera took her seat at his side, Albus hastily rose. He still looked like Albus, but a more middle aged Albus with red hair and a far shorter and neater beard. "Severus...Is all well?"

Severus shrugged. "Probably not." He sat down. "I am invited to dine with you."

He reached for Albus's mind, sharing the news of Potter and co's failure to return to school. If Bera Karkaroff found it rude that he wasn't sharing the news aloud, she didn't comment. Perhaps she was somehow wise enough to understand the risk in doing so, Severus thought venomously.

/I don't think she's stupid, Prof,/ Nightshade said, amused.

/Who's side are you on,/ Severus demanded.

/Yours...She's a dumb cow,/ Nightshade said hastily.

Severus bit back an amused smile. /Thank you./

Albus remained silent, digesting the news with a thoughtful frown on his face. "I think I know why this has come to pass, Severus, and I am not concerned," he said aloud after a minute or two of silent eating. The style of food put Severus in mind of the German fare they'd had at Wolfgang's those times they'd dined at his manor during their meetings. "Keep me up to date on events in Britain, of course, and we will work together to manage the situation from a distance. I believe this is a small set back that we can work around."

Though Severus doubted that, Albus's words at least allowed him to relax enough to enjoy his meal. While they ate, they made light pointless conversation. Afterward, Albus led Severus back up to Karkaroff's room. Neither spoke until the door was firmly shut behind them. "How are we going to manage Potter with him MIA," Severus demanded.

"I believe I can locate him. I have sources. I am asking you to trust me on this, Severus. It isn't that I don't trust you with the information. You know I'd trust you with my life."

"Or the taking of it rather," Severus said acidly. As it happened, he was still angry about that, he silently observed.

Albus sighed. "Don't start that again, Severus."

"What do you want me to do," Severus asked tightly. "Regulus can't teach Potter without him being at Hogwarts."

"I am aware, and that is of course regretful. Harry shall just have to manage with what he's already learned from you."

"Then we're all dead," Severus said darkly.

"I wouldn't be so sure, Severus," Albus said, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Don't be so pessimistic. It will give you wrinkles."

Severus glared.

"What I would like for you to do is to keep me closely informed on anything and everything that Voldemort is doing as well as anything news worthy happening at Hogwarts in case it may relate," Albus said. "I believe I can discover where Harry is and get him the help he needs from a distance. I believe I know what he is trying to do."

"How?"

"Again I have my sources," Albus reminded gently. "At this point, with your proximity to Voldemort even closer now that he is running Hogwarts and you're Headmaster, the less you know of the whereabouts of his killer, the safer both you and Harry shall be."