Author note:

Thanks for hanging in with me if you are still following my story. I hope you all enjoy this installment. Please leave me a note/review. They are the food that keeps my writing going. :)

(See note at the end)

CH 22-Empty Nest

Clay looked over at Emma. She was still sitting quietly, hands in her lap, staring out the window of the plane. She hadn't spoken since requesting a water from the flight attendant. Not that the noisy environment lent itself to deep conversation. He didn't have to wonder about her self-imposed silence. Leaving AJ at the ranch in Texas with Sonny was hard for both of them. But particularly for Emma. While Clay was close to both his children, before he retired from the Teams, he was often away from home. So, while it was always difficult, separation from family was something he learned to handle. He knew it was different for Emma. She had been the primary caregiver their whole lives. Much of the time taking on the entire parenting role solo. She struggled when Quinn went away to college. But their daughter was close enough to drop by now and then. AJ, on the other hand, was almost 1,500 miles away. There would be no surprise weekend visits from their son.

Clay didn't want to deny her feelings, but he wanted her to know that he was there, and that he understood. Reaching over, he enveloped her small hand in his larger one and gave a soft squeeze. Emma turned and looked into his searching gaze. She gave a small, tentative smile and then laid her head on his shoulder, taking whatever strength and support he offered. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and settled in for the remainder of the flight.

They landed and Clay retrieved their bags without incident. Stepping outside, they saw Jason waiting for them as arranged. They loaded up for the drive home. Clay in the front seat with Jason, and Emma in the back. Jason immediately began to pepper them with questions about AJ, Sonny, and the ranch. Clay handled the conversation, while glancing occasionally at Emma. If her father noticed her quiet, introspective mood, he made no mention of it.

They pulled up in front of the house and Clay hopped out, opening Emma's door, and then going to get the luggage from the trunk. Jason too got out. He shook Clay's hand and wrapped Emma up in a warm hug as he said his goodbyes.

"You know, Sonny's been after me for years to visit again. I think now might be a good time. With my Grandson being a partner and all."

Emma looked up at him and saw the pride written on his face.

"I think AJ and Sonny would both really like that, Dad."

"One of the last things Sonny said to us was to send you on out, right Em?"

"I think his actual words were, 'Tell that ol' knuckle dragger to get his lazy ass out here.'"

Jason laughed, almost able to hear the words coming from his brother's mouth.

"I guess I better start looking for flights then."

He gave Emma one last hug and left them to settle in.

Clay unlocked the front door and stood back for his wife to enter first. Stepping inside, she took a deep breath. Their home seemed suddenly too large, too quiet, and too empty. She blinked back the tears that pricked at her eyes before they could loose themselves and spill down her cheeks. She turned to Clay, as he entered.

"Well, we're home."

"Yea, we are."

"It looks like RJ did a good job with the lawn while we were gone."

"He's a hard worker, just like Ray and Naima."

Clay wondered toward the kitchen, thinking about dinner. Emma knew he was hungry, even if she had little appetite. She went to join him. Maybe there was something in the freezer.

"I'm not sure what we have to eat. I didn't think that far…"

"It's fine, Babe. I can order some pizza or something. What sounds good?"

Even though she was certain that the refrigerator was empty, she opened the door anyway. To her surprise, some containers sat on the shelf with a note stuck to the one on top.

Emma and Clay,

I hope your trip went well and AJ is all settled in with Sonny. Em, I figured you wouldn't feel much like cooking as soon as you got back, so I sent this with RJ. Thanks again, for hiring him and his crew to take care of your lawn.

I can't wait to hear all about the ranch and everything. Call me soon.

Love,

Naima

While Emma was reading the note, Clay was setting the Tupperware on the counter and pulling back the lids. There were curried vegetables, roast chicken, and her special scallion bread. It was just like Naima to think of them.

"I don't know when she found the time for this," she commented to Clay.

"You know Naima. She finds the time when it's family."

"Yea," she nodded. "We'll have to have them over soon for dinner."

"Whenever you want, Em"

He kissed her cheek and then went for two plates to heat up their meal. Clay dug in, cleaning his plate. Emma mostly pushed the food around, taking a few bites here and there, hoping he wouldn't notice. He didn't make comment, but he was aware. He knew she was struggling. He also knew if he brought it up, she would deflect any concerns, not wanting him to worry. He vowed to keep an eye out, offering his support and love however he could until she was ready to talk.

After dinner, he got comfortable on the couch, turning on the TV to catch up on the sports scores. Emma sat beside him for only a short while. She couldn't stand the idleness. It gave her too much time to think. Saying nothing, she got up and started to wrestle the suitcases upstairs to unpack. When he saw her heading to the steps with their bags, he jumped up and eased them from her grasp and deposited them on the bed for her.

"You need help?"

"No, no. You go back down and relax. This won't take me long at all."

"You sure?"

She reached her arms around his solid torso as she answered.

"I'm sure. I just want to get the clothes separated and throw the dirty stuff in the basket. Then…then I think I might go ahead and go to bed. I'm…I'm pretty tired."

"Okay. Leave my clean stuff, I can put it away tomorrow."

He held her tightly for a moment and then dropped a kiss on her upturned lips before going back downstairs.

A couple hours later, he re-entered their room, careful to be quiet in case Emma was asleep. When he opened the door, the lights were off and she was lying in bed, turned away from the door. He could tell by her breathing that while she was resting, she wasn't yet sleeping. Still, he undressed and readied for bed soundlessly. He didn't let on that he knew she was still awake, at least not until he laid down. Abandoning the pretense, he slipped his arms around her and pulled her close, spooning her smaller form.

"You okay, Em?"

He felt her take a deep breath before she answered.

"I'm fine. Just having a little trouble dropping off."

"Baby…"

He leaned in and pressed his lips to her temple. He felt her grasp his hand that was lying on her hip and squeeze tightly.

"I'm good. I'm sure now that you're here I'll be asleep in no time."

He knew she did need her rest. So instead of pushing, he snuggled her closer and closed his eyes, hoping she would follow him into slumber.

The next morning, Clay awoke to an empty bed. He called out for Emma but got no response. Pulling on a pair of shorts he went downstairs in search of her. After a quick look around, he found a note next to the coffee maker that was keeping the morning brew hot.

Clay,

I'll be back soon. I ran to the grocery. Could you check on the laundry and throw the load in the dryer if it's done?

Em

She already had clothes in the wash? He wondered when she got up and if she actually got any sleep last night. Well, there was nothing he could do now, except do as she asked and help with the laundry. After he put the clean load in the dryer, he gulped down some coffee and went to take a shower.

Clay was showered and dressed, folding their freshly laundered clothes when Emma returned. He could hear her bumping against the door, trying to get inside with her arms full of groceries. He jumped up off the chair and rushed to take some of the bags from her.

"You were out and about early," he remarked as they worked together to get things put away.

"Um hmm. I knew we didn't have anything for breakfast in the house, so I wanted to go and get back."

"We could have gone out for breakfast, Babe."

"I guess. But it had to be done some time."

She turned to him with a smile on her lips. Clay could tell it was forced. There was no accompanying sparkle of joy in her gaze. He started to reach out for her, but she continued over to half folded pile of clothes on the chair.

"I'll finish up with this. Why don't you grab some breakfast?"

"I'm fine. You've been busy today already. Did you eat?"

"I had some coffee and I found one of those breakfast bars in the pantry. I'm good."

She proceeded to put the clothes into the basket and tote it up the stairs. Her light tone didn't fool him in the least. This was her MO. She tried to keep herself so busy that she could distract herself from whatever was bothering her. She had definitely inherited Jason's "Ignore and Override" tendency. He knew part of it was a hold-over from when he was still Operating. She purposely managed things by herself to keep him from worry. That allowed him to focus on the mission at hand and coming home safely. He always told her that she didn't need to shield him, but she did it anyway. He knew it was a sacrifice that many Team wives and families made for the good of their men. It was a habit that Emma seemed unable to break. His eyes followed her, watching her disappear into their bedroom, wondering when the dam she was building to hold back her emotions was going to crack.

He finished his morning meal and dove into his work emails, trying to get caught up before he had to be back in the office in a couple of days. Emma still hadn't come downstairs. He stuffed the phone back in his pocket and mounted the steps, searching for his wife. When he entered their room, he could see she had put away the laundry, and even unpacked his clean clothes from the suitcase. He sighed, and walked over to their closet, sure he would find her there, hanging up his shirts. His shirts were there, but no Emma. He left their room and continued down the hall, stopping when he heard a muffled noise coming from AJ's room.

When he peaked his head into the doorway, he saw Emma sitting on AJ's bed holding something in her lap. He stepped into the room, and she raised her head. It was then that he noticed the tears on her cheeks.

"Em?"

She sucked in a shaky breath and swiped at her face, trying to remove any evidence of her crying. Clay's expression showed his concern.

"Are you okay, Honey?"

"Y-Yea. I'm good. Probably just worn out. You know, the past few weeks have been crazy. First AJ's graduation, then packing him up for Texas, and then the move. It's just all catching up to me now."

He didn't believe her for a second. Sitting down beside her on the mattress, he wrapped her in his arms and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

"I miss him too."

His tenderness was all it took. She no longer tried to deny her emotions, but gave way to them, weeping in his arms.

"Shhhh. I know it's hard, Babe."

He held her, rocking gently, and rubbing her back as her tears soaked into the front of his shirt. When her tears were spent, she sniffed and pushed the hair from her face.

"You know, I came in here to hang up that shirt," she gestured to the closet. "AJ must have forgotten it was in the wash. Anyway…while I was putting the hanger back, I-I looked up and saw this on the shelf."

Clay looked at the worn, blue, dinosaur plush she held. He smiled and chuckled softly as she passed it to him.

"Topper…"

"You remember."

"Of course, I do. There was a long time there when he wouldn't go anywhere without it."

"Do you know why?"

"Because it was his favorite."

"Yes. But…it was his favorite because you gave it to him."

Emma could see him blink his lids and flare his nostrils in an effort to stifle any tears.

"You brought it back from that joint training mission out at Coronado. It was the first time you had to leave us after he was born."

"I remember. I was so scared to leave you all. After what happened with his birth…"

Emma reached her arms around him and leaned against his chest.

"God, that seems like it just happened. How is he all grown up now?"

"I know. It did go by too fast, didn't it?"

"I thought I was prepared for this."

"It's been a long time since it was just the two of us."

"I'm not sure what to do now…how not to be 'Mom'."

He could hear the tears gathering in her voice again. Grasping her chin gently he lifted her face to his.

"Em, you will always be their mother. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know that, in my head anyway."

"Baby, you raised two really great kids. They know what they want and are working hard to get it, both of them. And…they might be more independent now, but they will always need you."

"Need us."

"Yea, need us."

Emma took a deep, cleansing breath and sat up straight.

"Well, what do we do now?"

"Whatever we want, Babe," he grinned at her.

"Like?"

"We could do some travelling to some of those places we dreamed about when I was on Bravo and the kids were small."

"Really?"

"Why not? I'd still like to go to Italy, the Caribbean, maybe Hawaii."

"Those all sound like dream trips."

"What would you like to do?"

"I'm not sure. Taking some vacations with you sounds wonderful."

"Well…think about it. We'll see if we can make some of those dreams come true."

He kissed her on her nose and stood up, holding out his hand for her. Emma sat AJ's stuffed animal down on the bed and took Clay's hand. He knew it wasn't going to be that simple for her to deal with her feelings, but at least it was a start. She was talking to him and not trying to hide behind a façade of unending tasks and chores. He was confident that they could get through it as long as they faced this new phase in their lives like they faced everything else so far, together.

As the weeks passed, they were settling into their new normal. There were definitely some speed bumps along the way. Emma still bought too much milk at the grocery store, and she couldn't get used to cooking for just the two of them. Although Clay never complained about eating something more than once. He'd had enough MREs in his day that even a re-heated home cooked meal was appreciated. As she pulled the casserole dish out from the refrigerator and started to say she was sorry, he interrupted her.

"Em, you don't have to apologize. Your cooking is always delicious."

"I know, but this is the thir…."

"Hey, you know your lasagna is my favorite. I could eat it every day."

He wrapped her up in a comforting hug and tipped her head up so he could drop a sweet kiss on her lips. She looked into his eyes to gauge his sincerity. Reaching a hand up, she brushed her fingers through his heavy curls, noticing the sparse dusting of grey at the temples. Next, she traced lightly along his brow, and down to his cheek. She noted the small crinkles at the corner of his eyes, formed from years of smiling and laughter, as well as time in the sun. As she laid her hand on his still muscular shoulder, she also saw the sprinkling of silver woven into his beard. He was still so startingly handsome. She knew time had changed her too. But even after all their years together, one thing didn't change, the love she saw reflected in his sparkling blue eyes. She pulled his mouth to hers for another kiss and soon their dinner was forgotten.

Sometime later, Clay carried a reheated plate and two glasses of wine up to their bedroom and served her dinner in bed. Remarking with a wink that their empty nest definitely had its perks. Taking a sip of her drink and watching his nude form slip under the sheets next to her, she couldn't help but agree.

*I'm not sure if there is ever any joint training between SEAL teams on the East and West coasts. So please forgive my creative leap. *