A/N: yoooooo sorry for the late update, your girl has been Going Through It. but yeah, here's a little chapter n hopefully ill slap a longer one up soon :)

She felt safe beside him. Yes, it was terrifying when they were both awake, touching, but not how they wanted to, close but too close for either of them to fully suppress their panic. But once Kaz fell asleep, the layer of panic, of fear, all fell away. He looked so much younger, more like the boy he was, when he slept. And she was finally free to study his face, even if it was in the dark. His angular features seemed softer, still set in a faint scowl, but not quite as deep as the one that usually occupied his face.

She shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable in spite of the deep gash across her ribs. Having it properly treated had helped. Even if the wound inflicted by him was already healing, Inej couldn't help but to think of the slaver, waiting to be interrogated. He could tell her everything that she had been scrambling to learn over the past few years. He would talk. Inej would make him talk.

Kaz woke suddenly in the night. At first, he couldn't tell what exactly had pulled him so suddenly from sleep, Then he realized Inej's hand wasn't in his.

She had curled in on herself, pulling both of her hands close to her chest as she kicked at the blankets. Even asleep, the expression on her face could only be one of terror.

"Inej," Kaz said.

She made no response, only thrashing around beside him.

Panicked now, Kaz tried again, "Inej," he said, this time with a bit more urgency.

Just as he reached over to touch her shoulder, to shake her from sleep, to do anything, Inej burst up from the bed, jumping to her feet as she scrambled away from him. Within a second she had pulled one of her knives from her neat stack on the desk and had the sharp blade pointed at him.

"Inej," Kaz said a third time.

She stood there for a moment, shuddering breaths racking her body. Then, in the faint light of the coming dawn, Kaz watched her determined expression crumple as she struggled to hold back tears. Inej let her arm fall, but kept a grip on her knife as she shivered in the breeze from the window.

Kaz had no idea what to do. Inej was never scared. He had seen her injured, bleeding out, facing the worst odds in the world, but never scared. He didn't know how to help her.

"Come here," Kaz croaked.

The words seemed to unfreeze Inej and she rushed towards him, reclaiming her spot in the bed. She was closer to him than she had been before waking, but seemed to have pulled herself back at the last second, careful not to overwhelm him. Kaz, gathering his courage, inched the slightest bit closer to her. He would leave the final gap between them for her to close, if she decided it.

Inej looked up at him, her eyes blurry with tears. Bracing himself, Kaz nodded slightly and Inej moved the few inches closer, pressing her face into the space between his neck and his shoulder. He could do this. He had to do this. Inej needed him and whatever memories of the past that came up would have to stay down until she was back to normal.

Just as Kaz wrapped his arms around her, he could feel Inej break into silent, shaking sobs.

"What was it?" he asked her, his tone steady despite the pounding of his heart.

Inej shook her head, nestling deeper into his arms with her knife still clutched in her hand. Struggling to compose herself, she sucked in a deep breath of the cool night air before whispering, "The day my life changed, it was because of him."

Kaz knew Inej meant the slaver that she had just apprehended.

"He took me from my family, from my people. He took everything from me," she said. "I saw him again and I froze. I was helpless again."

"You are not helpless," Kaz told her.

"I felt like I was," she said. "I need to find out what happened to my brother. Where he was sent, if he's even still alive."

"I'll help you," Kaz said. "Not that you'd need my help, but I'll help you."

"I do," she whispered. "I need you."

Kaz's heart was beating so hard in his chest he was sure Inej could hear it. He brushed a hand over the top of her head, stroking her hair as her sobs subsided. He could feel the tides start to close in, feel the icy pull of the water. Inej was still tucked between his arms, her head on his chest. He tried to focus on her warmth. He counted silently to ten and back down. He forced deep, steady breaths.

"Inej," Kaz said a while later.

She made a small noise in response.

"You need to move or I'm going to throw up."

She slid back to her usual spot without a moment of hesitation, giving him the space that he needed. They both laid there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling before Inej started to laugh. And Kaz, for once, couldn't help but to join her.