Han should have left but he didn't. But he didn't trust his instincts to lead him in the right direction so he did nothing. Pretended that everything hadn't gone off the rails.

After Leia stormed off, he tried focusing on some repairs but didn't have much luck. His mind was wandering. He was replaying the past week, that evening, every damn thing. Drinking helped, though. Or he told himself it did. He kept a glass of whisky with him, refilling it often, and woke up the next day in the same clothes and no recollection how the evening ended.

Drinking kept him busy enough for a few nights but it also meant he tried to pick fights. He didn't plan on either but alcohol seemed to dampen the noise rattling around his head and the anger had to go somewhere. He knew he was mostly angry at himself but that mattered less and less as the night wore on.

Tensions were high all around. A few squadrons covering the team drops lost pilots when the Empire caught on and they were all feeling the anger and loss. But they ignored Han's antics, maybe called him an asshole but didn't engage, until one of the new recruits took him up on it. The Rogues and Chewie had to pull them apart before anything really got started. He woke up feeling embarrassed but not entirely sure why. It was just a general feeling that Han couldn't shake and not something he was used to.

It was Luke arriving the next morning, standing with crossed arms and glaring down at Han sitting half-crumpled at his table with kaffe in hand, who set him straight.

"You know, if you get in a fight, especially with an officer, they're going to kick you off base."

"No one's kicking me out." Han wasn't sure if he was even talking to Luke. He didn't bother looking up from his kaffe. "They need my particular skill set."

"They can do what they want." Luke gave Han a nudge with his foot, trying to get him to look up. "They can easily cancel contracts or deny you access to this base."

He should have grabbed the pain killers before coming into the lounge. Han tried to remember the last time he'd had a truly bad hangover. When he was running spice for Jabba or doing some other high-risk job, it wasn't that strange to have a string of days in a row when he let loose. Enjoyed booze and cards, women. Hell, even in the Academy, furlough often meant a stretch of drinking and bar fights and everyone was pals in the morning, ready to hit the skies again. He was either out of practice or old and it hurt his brain trying to decide which was worse.

"Their loss, not mine." Han sat up straighter and wondered if that was his smartest move.

"Are we still doing this?"

Han looked up at Luke, scowled. Furrowed his brow at the surprisingly bright lights he had in the lounge.

"Doing what?"

"Pretending that you don't care."

Han sighed. Tried not to shake his head.

"I'm not in the mood, Luke."

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

He looked up at Luke, gave his best sarcastic smile. "Made the mistake of trying to find something halfway interesting to do around here."

Luke looked disappointed. What's with the kid giving him grief? What else did he expect from a scrumrat smuggler lying low with a bunch of do-gooders?

"What's going on with you and Leia?"

He didn't expect the kid to go there and hoped he managed to recover fast enough from the surprise. He looked back down at his kaffe.

"Don't know what you're talking about. Our High and Mightiness is saving the galaxy and I'm trying to make enough to get back in the real action. Same as always."

Luke sat down across from Han. He rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward.

"Something's going on. Or happened. The two of you aren't even bothering to fight these days."

Han slowly sipped his kaffe. Considered what his next move should be and knew it was going to be hard to be subtle with this one.

"What does she say?"

The only time Leia spoke to him since their fight was to whisper an angry, Why are you still here? as they passed each other in the corridor. He gave her a shrug, tried for a smirk, and kept walking. He knew she'd want to avoid making a scene so acted like nothing happened. If she had a problem it was all on her. He wasn't feeling quite so smug by the time he got back to the Falcon but decided to call it a victory.

"That I'm imagining things." Luke watched for Han's reaction then chuckled. "And that I should mind my own business."

"The Princess and I agree there."

The two men sat for a few moments in silence. He knew Luke was waiting for him to say something but talking was a trap. Better to play it casual. Hope that Luke believed it.

"Fine. I can't force the issue." He turned to slide back off the bench but stopped to look at Han again. "Just remember, I don't believe either of you. Maybe it isn't any of my business but I care. I know you're both angry and hurt over something."

Han held up a finger, ready to give the hang on a second speech, but Luke cut him off with his own raised hand.

"Deny it all you want but I know what I see." He stood up. "And I know you care about us, me, Leia, even the Rebellion so you don't have to try so hard to look like the unfeeling smuggler. If you have to leave to take care of the Jabba stuff, well, I don't want you to but I get that might have to happen sometime. Just, maybe, don't make a complete mess of all this because you don't know how else to leave."

Luke stepped away from the table, turning to Han and walking backward toward the ramp.

"And fix things with Leia. It makes my life kinda hard when my two best friends won't talk to each other."

Han scowled at Luke, tracking him as he left.

"The two of you are too damn stubborn." Luke called over his shoulder as he disappeared from the lounge. "It's a lot better for all of us when you're on the same side."

After his brief stint as the base drunk, Han figured he should put some distance between him and just about everyone else. He knew the drill. Shields up. Alarms set. He was passing through and none of this was going to leave a mark once he got back to his real life. When there was only him and Chewie and the Falcon. Until then, he needed to focus on jobs and earning credits. Try keeping his head down for a while.

There was more than enough work getting supplies and beings from Osler to other bases to keep him and Chewie busy. Kept him on the move, which felt like his natural state. He could drop-in and take-off every couple of days and never have to be in one place for long.

He'd been to most of these bases a few times but he didn't spend time getting to know anyone. Other than Sullust, where he could usually find a card game and Hera was usually good for a drink and some pilot trash talk, he barely bothered to learn anyone's name. The faces were always switching up anyway. It was a routine like everything else and one of them decided to make a move.

It was a new pilot on Rogatu that made the most obvious play. Until he and Leia started messing around, Han kept all that business off Rebel territory. Nothing since the early days anyway. He didn't want the drama but he also knew, deep down, he didn't want to screw things up with Leia. Things shifted with that first kiss. It was always in the back of his mind to keep things clean in case there was another chance with the Princess. And now that he'd fucked that up beyond recognition, it shouldn't matter what else he did.

The pilot, Yel'sa, showed up on the Falcon a few times and didn't pretend to be there for any other reason. Cornered him in the mess and suggested he come by her quarters. She could slip into something more comfortable and he could slip into her. It was the kind of thing that almost always worked on him. Direct. No nonsense. No ties. It was how most of his sexual encounters up until that point had occurred. He didn't look for anything more, didn't expect anything more.

But it wasn't sitting right with him so he kept his distance. Shook his head and said something vague like, Not this time. It felt like a lie even as he said it but it did the trick. He wasn't interested. He hadn't been interested in anyone else for a long time. Months, maybe. There was Saba but he couldn't even remember when that happened. Felt like a lifetime ago.

Han didn't like the numbers when he stopped to think about them. Exactly how long was he waiting around for Leia?

When he hooked up on that last run, he figured it was the distraction he needed. The best way to get Leia out of his head. But he couldn't stop thinking about her. How she moved and sounded. The way she gripped his arms or back when she was about to climax. How she fit perfectly against his body when he held her after. He was lucky he didn't say Leia's name when he came. He knew he couldn't say the woman's name because he didn't bother to learn it. She didn't ask for his either, that was part of the deal, but it was a solid reminder of where he was in that moment and what he was missing.

Because as much as being on the move felt like his natural state, the thing he was most used to, it was becoming obvious that coming back to Leia felt more and more like a thing he needed to do.

He did his best not to dwell on it, definitely wasn't going to talk about it with Luke or Chewie, but he also couldn't deny a weird sense of relief that hit him every time they landed and he saw her. She wasn't exactly within reach but he needed to know she was there.

He started wandering the base. Moved like he had a destination in mind but it was more about not keeping still. He could spend hours walking the corridors, through common spaces, the hanger and back again. If he kept moving, he didn't have to talk to anyone. If he couldn't be surrounded by stars, he'd make sure he wasn't grounded to a halt.

He didn't set out looking for her but always felt better if he caught a sighting. Or felt a nagging concern when he didn't spot her. She was disappearing more. Maybe hiding out in meeting rooms or her quarters. It wasn't like the old days when he could barge in with a cheap excuse. Put his feet up on a table and harass her while she worked until she either laughed or yelled at him.

Han told himself that Luke would take care of it. The kid would check up on Leia. Make sure she wasn't isolating herself too much. Maybe get her to have a drink or do something vaguely relaxing. Han told himself he shouldn't worry but that didn't seem to be entirely in his control.

Leia had to talk to him, something more than a curt few sentences, when they evacuated the base. They had some warning but there was only so much they could do in a day. Everyone knew the evacuation plan, it was drilled into them on a regular basis, but it was still chaos. What made Osler a great hideout—caves leading from a canyon, fog and more fog—made for a stressful quick retreat. It required coordination and speed, and Leia kept everyone on track and moving.

His comm went off about five minutes after the alarm sounded. He didn't expect to hear from her but wasn't entirely surprised either.

"They need help getting equipment out."

"Already on my way." He shoved the commlink into his pocket as he raced down the corridor. It was the first time she'd sought him out, initiated anything, since that night in the Falcon's lounge. He didn't think about it too much in that moment but didn't take it lightly either.

Han felt the adrenaline rush but not panic. He and Chewie had been clearing out supplies and equipment for weeks and knew the inventory and layout almost as well as the supply officer. He helped load transports. Worked the control comms when they needed an extra hand to get the ships out quickly and safely. He barked orders as he moved through the hanger and people listened.

They knew the Empire could arrive at any moment. It was a balancing act of timing and priorities, trying to determine when to call it and leave whatever was left behind. He knew she would push it. She would prioritize getting every other being to safety and wouldn't want to sacrifice anything they couldn't afford to replace. He planned to carry her kicking and screaming to his ship if it came down to it.

He and Leia worked in sync. There was no evidence of a strained relationship as they talked over comms or in the Command Center. She had the big picture, knew where everyone was or should be and where they should go next. He followed her plan, even one or two steps ahead, solving issues before she knew they happened.

The Falcon was the last to lift off with overloaded holds and a dozen passengers. They had just reached the fighter squadrons keeping watch above planet when the Imperial Destroyer dropped out of hyperspace. There were some fancy maneuvers with Han yelling "Hang on!" into the lounge, hoping they weren't getting knocked around but he did hear a few yelps of pain, and Leia working the upper gun turret before they got the coordinates locked and loaded.

As soon as they were in hyperspace, Leia had a minor meltdown. He thought they'd get more of the organized, calm Leia, checking in on everyone, taking stock of supplies and injuries, but she stormed into the cockpit, furious. Said he'd endangered everyone's lives with his crazy antics.

"You fly this bucket of bolts with no concern for anyone's safety. Or the cargo she's carrying. Cargo we cannot afford to replace!"

"Did you mean to say, got everyone out safely?" He took off his gloves and tucked them into a vest pocket. He stood up and leaned over Chewie's empty chair to hit some switches on the opposite panel. "Cos that's what happened, Sweetheart. Maybe you weren't paying close enough attention."

She stood with hands on hips, blocking his way out. Her clothes were dirty, with was a grease mark on her cheek and her hair was a mess. He remembered her crawling over crates as they were loaded into his ship. Directing their efforts to pack in as much as possible.

"How can you be so calm right now?"

He also remembered the last time they were alone in the cockpit. They'd spent some quality time in the pilot's chair. He was smart enough to know now wasn't the time to reminisce, though.

Han shrugged. "No one's chasing us."

She shook her head at him. Her eyes were dark and furious. "None of this bothers you. Does it?"

"Well, I don't like getting shot at." He took a step toward her, thought she might move, then wondered if he was in some kind of trap. "Now we just have to wait for the next crisis you drag me in to."

She wasn't taking his bait. She was on her own mission and he had no idea where she was going with it.

"How perfectly predictable." Her voice rose. Her cheeks reddened. "Once again, we have to start over. Probably scatter across the galaxy. Again. And we get calm and smug from you."

"Smug?" His finger went up, pointed at her. "I worked right alongside you, got that precious equipment on ships. Got you and the rest off planet, in one piece, and back with your precious fleet. Or you forget all that already?"

"I'm sure I'll remember everything when I receive your itemized invoice!"

Okay, fine, he did make a big deal about the money they owed him, that he was only in this game to make credits, but did she actually think he was going to bill her for an evacuation?

"I'd have more luck getting money out of a Hutt."

"You can't even pretend to care, can you?"

Her hand went to his chest. Not quite a poke, more of a shove.

"You're surrounded by chaos. Beings scrambling to save lives. To stay in the fight to end tyranny. And you act like it's another day at the office."

She shoved him again. Her eyes were blazing. Her voice crisp, accusatory, cutting. When he didn't respond right away, her hand, a flat palm this time, landed hard. His body swayed with the impact but he held his place.

"Do you care at all about the people you've spent the last two years with? What are we supposed to do now?"

"I don't know, Leia!" He didn't want to give in to the anger but she was making it hard. She was angling for something. Wanted him to fight back. "Move on to the next thing! Like always."

"What's the next thing?" She shoved him again. What was with all the shoving? "Tell me, in all your strategic planning wisdom, what we're supposed to do next. We've lost everything. One more base destroyed. Another victory for the Empire."

"We got everyone off Osler alive." He could see her. She was standing perfectly still but she was spinning out of control. His anger was quickly being replaced by concern. "Got most of the equipment up. Didn't leave anything important behind. Or not too important."

"The Alliance is in pieces. Every time we make a mark, establish a system or channel that works, it's ripped apart and we have to start over." She shoved him again but with much less force.

He wasn't sure what he should do so he listened. He put his hands on his hips, angled his head toward her. Held her gaze and hoped she understood that he wasn't going to argue with her this time.

"We don't have the finances to set us up anywhere else." Her voice was softer but her eyes didn't lose their anger. "We'll have to house people on ships or bases that are already stretched thin. We'll lose some of the beings from Osler because they'll have had enough. They'll want to see their families. Sleep in a real bed. Eat a meal that isn't derived from rehydrated products. It's hard to remember what you're fighting for when you're left with nothing. Again."

Some of this anger was directed at him. He had let her down. Disappointed her. But he knew this was coming out because she could let go around him. Despite it all, his fuck ups and misguided attempts to reset things, she trusted him.

"I didn't pack my quarters."

"What?"

She looked down for a moment. Shook her head.

"There wasn't much there." She raised her eyes again. Almost gave a half-smile. "Once the alarm sounded, I didn't go back to my quarters. I didn't send anyone to pick anything up. I didn't check to see if it ended up on one of the transports."

"Maybe Threepio took care of it." He wanted to step closer but didn't. "That sounds like something Goldenrod would do."

"Maybe." She nodded her head slightly. "It's also possible I'm left with the clothes on my back and nothing more."

"You're welcome to borrow my clothes any time."

He spread his arms wide like he was modeling his outfit and she laughed.

"I'm not sure I would look very good in an old vest. Might not suit me."

Han cocked his head to the side. "But you're saying that I look in the vest. That's my takeaway from this conversation."

She shook her head again but this time with that slight smile.

"How much time until we reach the rendezvous?" Her voice wasn't quite soft but sounded closer to normal.

He reached over to do a quick scan of the navicomputer.

"Giving this jump about an hour. Probably a good idea to do a few more before we hit the real coordinates. Gonna say six or seven hours."

She nodded again.

"Do you want to try to get a message out during one of the stops?"

"No. Let's keep going. The rest of the fleet is there when we arrive or they're not. We'll figure it out then."

Han gave her a quick salute. "Got it, Your Highness."

She rolled her eyes in response. "I'm going to check that everyone is in one piece."

Leia left the cockpit and Han held his place for a few moments more. He didn't feel good, exactly, but there was something. Something new that happened between them. He knew that fight, or whatever it was, didn't fix things but they'd be better. Han wasn't sure where he wanted things to be but better was a good start.

Most of the Osler Rebels ended up on the Lumen with occasional stop-overs on Sullust. They were desperate to find a more long-term solution but, as Leia predicted, finances and a concentrated assault by Imperial Forces made regrouping difficult.

Leia had to meet face-to-face with the High Command a few times on Mothma's ship or one of the safe houses. She never asked Han to be her pilot and he worked hard not to get pissed every time she left without him. He still wasn't sure she was safe without one of them watching out for her. She even avoided taking Luke or Wedge, saying they were too busy with Rogue duties.

For Han, it added up to weeks of too much sitting around. He didn't have this problem before the Rebels. Never had the time, or inclination, to stop. Now he was left doing accounts in his head, the money owed, how much more he'd need to pay Jabba. Wondering how they managed to keep this ancient frigate flying and guessing which engine or major component would blow first.

He was almost grateful when they finally handed him a real job. He wasn't too pleased about being stuck on the Falcon with General Dodonna, or having to deal with another bunch of royals, but it got him off the Lumen for a bit and he could focus on something other than missing Leia.

They landed on Pynterra in the industrial quarter of the capitol. The hanger was the last in a row of increasingly decrepit buildings. They stood out compared to the rest of the planet's cityscape that seemed to be made out of perfectly cut glass and durasteel. Dodonna said the whole strip was set for demolition as the King's children pushed to modernize the entire area.

Han and Chewie had been to the planet a few times before. Small jobs that didn't pay great but got them through leaner times. There wasn't much of a criminal underbelly on Pynterra. It was like Alderaan in that way. Smaller, not as wealthy or built up, but they both had solid economies and a population that seemed happy enough. Not a lot of cause for someone like Han to stop by and even being there for that short while made him feel nervous. Unwelcome.

Han didn't ask a lot of questions when they offered him this gig. He knew the basics. Smuggle the King off Pynterra. Get him to the two-year commemoration of Alderaan and the Death Star. Hope King Jahn agreed to release House of Organa funds to support the cause. Leia didn't add anything beyond it was an important venture and please don't say anything to offend anyone.

King Jahn was helped on board by two attendants, each holding an arm as they slowly made their way up the ramp. He wore a heavy cloak with a large hood to disguise his appearance. There was a decoy convoy going to the Royal Yacht where one of his sons and family were waiting. Apparently the King didn't leave the planet that often anymore so they needed to make it as realistic as possible. They met up in this last resort hanger to avoid as many observers as possible.

Two other men followed the King up the ramp. The older one, lookinh somewhere between Rieekan and Dodonna age-wise, was wearing a robe similar to the King's. Han pegged the younger guy as his son. He wore a tailored black suit and walked with his hands clasped behind his back.

When the King stepped into the lounge, he dropped his hood to greet Dodonna. Han was shocked by how old he looked. Like Wookiee old. Han didn't know how the King was standing on his own steam. Dodonna gave a deep bow and King Jahn waved his hand a few times, encouraging Dodonna to rise.

"It is good to see you again, General." The King's voice was soft, like he didn't want to waste too much breath getting it out, but had more strength to it than Han expected. "It has been too long."

There was a bit of activity as more attendants arrived with luggage and a large repulsor chair, not quite a throne but pretty impressive, with legs that locked to the ship's deck. King Jahn sat in his chair with some assistance.

"We ready to go?"

Han put his gloves on and nodded at Dodonna. He didn't know who was leading this mission anymore and he'd rather get moving. This hanger was supposed to be safe but he didn't know Pynterra or these people.

"I take it you are our pilot."

The older guy nodded to Han. It was both a greeting and an assessment.

"This is Captain Han Solo and his co-pilot Chewbacca." General Dodonna held a hand out toward them. "They have been working with the Alliance on contract for a number of years and are trusted colleagues."

Han wasn't expecting that introduction and tried not to look too surprised. It sounded almost like a compliment though he guessed it was more about putting these Pynterrians at ease.

"And may I introduce King Jahn of Pynterra." Dodonna paused so Han would have time to offer a proper greeting. He nodded once and Dodonna continued when he realized that was it. "This is Lord Tamas Pynjahn and his son Myka."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Captain Solo." King Jahn raised a hand toward him and nodded. "We appreciate your assistance and your discretion."

Han looked at the group of men before him and decided he didn't want any more of this interlude. It was all too stiff and stilted for his liking.

"Strap in." He started toward the cockpit. "We're leaving in two minutes."

He did his best to keep his distance for the next few hours. Every time he walked through the lounge, it was the Lord talking. Clearly fond of the sound of his own voice. Sometimes the King or Dodonna got a word in but the Lord definitely took up the most space, rattling on about who the hell knows what. Han couldn't be bothered taking any of it in. He didn't hear the son say a single word until he surprised Han as he worked in the engine room.

"This is the first YT-1300 I've seen in person."

Han almost dropped his hydrospanner at the sound of the voice. He spun around to see Myka standing in the hatchway.

"What?"

"I've seen holos and I studied the schematics in school." Myka stepped in and looked around the room. "We see the newer series now and then but I've never seen anything this old before."

Han narrowed his eyes at him.

"You don't say."

"That wiring looks a bit unusual." Myka nodded toward the panel Han was working on. "It's where the sensor-optimizer usually sits, no?"

Han stood in front of the panel, attempting to block Myka's view. "You need something?"

Myka smiled. Put his hands behind his back, trying to look casual but it was more like a military man told to stand at ease.

"I was hoping to have a look around." He took in Han's skeptical look. "If it's not too much of a bother, of course."

"It is." Han didn't move from his sentry post. "Don't like people wandering around my ship."

Myka nodded his head a few times. "Of course. My apologies. I didn't mean to intrude."

Myka did not move. There wasn't even an uncomfortable shift as he struggled to keep the conversation going.

"I studied mechanical engineering. I had an idea to work in a shipyard. Designing and building ships."

Han got the sense that Myka wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Guess that means it didn't work out for you."

Myka shrugged.

"No shipyards on Pynterra." He started to pace around the room, hands still clasped behind his back. "We have a lot of industry. Nothing as majestic as ship building but plenty to keep one busy."

Han wasn't sure how to handle this situation. He didn't get a bad feeling from the guy but he was up to something.

"You've done a lot of modifications?" Myka watched Han, waiting for a response. "I noticed there are more than a few changes. Though it must be hard to find replacement parts with a ship this old. There can't be many original parts available these days."

"Like I said, I don't like people snooping around my ship."

Myka waved a hand like he was brushing off the subject.

"Again, my apologies. I think I'm actually a bit nervous." He folded his arms over his chest then dropped them then crossed them again. "General Dodonna said you've been with the Rebellion for some time."

"They pay me for jobs." Han threw his hydrospanner to the side. "I'm not with the Rebellion."

Myka nodded again, a bit more seriously this time.

"Have you had many dealings with Princess Leia?"

What was this guy up to? Was he looking for info on Leia? Why did he think he'd have anything?

"She's kind of hard to avoid."

Myka smiled at that one. This conversation was getting stranger.

"I haven't seen her in years. Once or twice after she moved to Coruscant." He leaned against the table, half sitting on the edge. "We used to see more of each other when she was still on Alderaan."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

"I suppose not."

Still, the guy wasn't getting up. Han considered walking away but he didn't want to leave him on his own. And forcibly removing him from the room didn't feel like too smart a move either. Leia, everyone really, was trying to impress the King. Manhandling his friend, or whoever this guy was, wouldn't help. They'd just got to the point where Leia could stand being near him and he wasn't interested in fucking that up more.

"Is she doing well?"

Han's basic survival often relied on him being able to read a person. He wasn't as good at it as Leia but he knew how to spot danger or if someone was going to pull a fast one. This guy didn't set off any alarms. He just seemed lost. Maybe a bit sad.

"That's a ridiculous question." Myka shook his head as he answered himself. "How could she be? Alderaan is gone. She's trapped. Living underground. In a war. So different than the world she grew up in."

"She's not trapped."

"Excuse me?"

"The Princess isn't trapped. She's leading an army. She wants to fight."

Myka looked at Han, taking the words in. This guy didn't rush into anything. He seemed to be weighing every option, every outcome. It would be painful to watch if this guy ever had to make a decision.

"I know she wants to defeat the Empire. It's what we all want. All of us here, at least." He crossed his arms over his chest again. Gave Han a serious, almost distressed look. "But I can't imagine what she has gone through. How she must live now."

Han watched Myka's expression change. He got an almost wistful, far away, look. He was drifting back to that magical place of how things used to be.

"She was always the strongest, most opinionated person I've known. Other than my father, of course. But still sweet, kind. She truly cared for everyone." Myka smiled. He really thought he was telling Han something he didn't know. "Even when her family came to visit on Pynterra, she knew all of our servants' names. I'd often find her in the kitchen, sometimes eating another meal. Talking to everyone. Asking about recipes, which I always found adorable since I'm sure she had never even heated a pot of soup before."

Han started to pull together a few things. He'd taken in enough of Leia's talk, especially around King Jahn and the Organa funds she hoped to access. She didn't use a lot of names but he was figuring out who was who. Bail and Lord Pynjahn, Myka's father, were close. Or they did a lot of work together. He didn't remember her saying anything about the families hanging out but clearly that was a thing. This guy found her adorable.

Myka looked a few years older than her and Luke. Probably mid, maybe late twenties. He was put together. It was an expensive suit. He was slim. His hair was cut short and neatly styled. He looked rich. Like royalty. Though Han had some recollection of Leia saying the Lord wasn't in the royal family. He was one of the ones who added Jahn to his name to look connected. He was given the title of Lord by King Jahn as thanks for years of service.

If Han could remember all that, why couldn't he remember Leia ever mentioning the Lord's kid?

"Maybe I feel a bit guilty that I haven't joined her in the fight. But the truth is, I'm not sure what I could do to help. I'm not sure if I have many transferrable skills."

"Not everyone is up to it."

"I agree."

Chewie arrived in the doorway, looking between the two men.

[What's wrong with the sad rich boy?]

"Your guess is as good as mine."

[They're putting out a fancy spread. Do we get any?]

"Doubt it. Hired help and all."

[I'm going to go sniff around. See what happens.]

Han shook his head as he watched his friend leave. Chewie did whatever his stomach told him to.

"Have you and Chewbacca been working together long?"

"What's with all the questions, pal?"

"I'm probably nervous. I talk a bit too much when I'm nervous."

"Nervous about seeing the Princess?"

Han got that she intimidated some people. She wasn't stuck up or anything, even if he liked to accuse her of it now and then, but lots were put off by the princess or senator thing. She was pretty careful, too. Standoffish. Kept her distance. But maybe she wasn't always like that if what this guy said was true.

"I'm likely putting undue pressure on myself." Myka smiled. It was probably supposed to look reassuring but it only upped the sad rich guy factor. "I don't think Princess Leia ever considered me quite serious enough. I didn't have the same strength in conviction that she did."

It was starting to dawn on Han. Leia had mentioned this guy before.

"I believed in her. I suppose I thought that was enough."

Myka was the not-quite-boyfriend. The one she could have ended up with if she'd agreed to an arranged marriage. Who she thought was nice enough to date a couple times but she'd lost interest.

"When Father presented this opportunity to join him and King Jahn, I was excited to reconnect. However, it is possibly I've spent too many years thinking it. Seeing Leia again. I've let it get away from me." Myka stood up, straightened his jacket. Han was stuck on the comment that he'd spent years thinking about Leia.

"One of the benefits and drawbacks of my work is spending a considerable about of time with schematics and numbers. I enjoy my work a great deal but do need to remind myself, when it comes to others, predictability and probability are far more difficult to estimate. I might be better with math than people."

Myka smiled again and this one felt more genuine. He seemed to enjoy his own joke, even if he was the butt of it.

"Chewie said they're putting out food for you."

Han needed a break from this guy. He'd had his fill of the mopey routine.

Myka nodded. "You'll join us, of course."

"Nah. I'm good here." He picked up a micro-fuser. "But the Wookiee's always looking for something."

"I'll be sure to check with him."

Han could hear a steady drone of voices, mostly Lord Jahn's, coming from the lounge. Chewie walked by holding a plate of food, gave him a quick satisfied growl, and Han vowed to stick to the engine room for as long as he could.

He was glad he took this job, had the talk with Myka. It was the kick in the pants he needed. Things with Leia never would have worked out. They had a few weeks of fun and nothing more. It would have crashed soon enough so maybe it was good he messed it up when he did. She was a Princess. If they won the war, she was going back to courts and galas and governments. He was going back to the hustle. Hauling goods and contraband. It was nice finding each other when they did but she had another life waiting for her.

There was a welcome party when they landed on Home One. Han stepped off the ramp, gave Leia a quick nod, then moved to check on the Falcon's landing gear. He inspected the ship's underbelly while also keeping an eye on the action.

King Jahn, with his attendants at his side again, descended the ramp first. Han watched Leia and Mothma curtsey, the other members of High Command bow, before his repulsor chair. The King held out a hand and General Galadotte then Colonel Fron kissed it. Han had to hold in a laugh. This royal business was ridiculous.

The Lord and sad rich boy stood behind the King, patiently waiting their turn. Leia looked happy to see the Lord, accepting kisses on both cheeks, and genuinely surprised to see Myka. That answered the question about how much Leia knew about the entourage.

"Myka!" She hugged him, tightly it looked like. "I had no idea you were attending."

Han opened a panel on the Falcon's hull, hit a few buttons and kept up the appearance of being involved in important work.

"Myka was a last minute addition to the party." Pynjahn put a hand on his son's shoulder. "We thought he might be too busy with work but, thankfully, his schedule cleared up just in time."

"Well, I'm glad." Leia put a hand on Myka's upper arm. "Hopefully, we'll have some time to catch up."

"I would like that, Leia." Han couldn't see rich sad guy's face but he was sounding a bit less sad. "I would like that very much."

Mothma stepped forward and cleared her throat. Han got the feeling she wanted to get things moving.

"I'm sure you are all exhausted from your journey." She stepped between Myka and Leia, placing her hand on the Princess' elbow. "Let's get you all settled then we can meet for some dinner. We have your rooms prepared."

Two attendants walked in front of the King's chair and two behind. Mothma and the Lord followed then the rest. Leia looked over at Han. He thought she might say something but turned to Chewie instead.

"Thank you for all your help, Chewbacca." She smiled at the Wookiee. "It's much appreciated."

Han was about to point out that he was the pilot and it was his ship but Myka made his move. Held an arm out for Leia and she rested a hand in the crook of his elbow. They followed the rest of the group out of the hanger as the last two attendants walked with the luggage cart at the rear.

Chewie called over to him from his place at the bottom of the ramp.

[The Princess said I did a great job.]

Han didn't have to tell him to fuck off. His eyes said it all.

Chewie chuckled and walked back inside as Han finished his survey of the hull.

Rebel ships, X- and Y-Wings, freighters and a transport, dotted the hanger floor. They'd pulled together a small group for the commemoration. High Command, some key supporters, pilots, heroes from the Battle of Yavin. They were trying to impress King Jahn, prove they had a fighting chance against the Empire. They may be a scrappy bunch of insurgents but they'd put the money to good use.

Home One looked a hell of a lot more impressive than what most of the Rebels were used to. It was bright and spacious, looked almost brand new. Mothma had been negotiating with the Mon Calamari for a while, trying to get them to join in on the fight. They were hesitant for reasons Han wasn't paying attention to but they loaned one of their cruisers for the meet up with King Jahn. Kind of a trial run. The Alliance needed neutral ground. If it was discovered King Jahn was on a Mon Cal ship that wasn't a huge leap. If there was evidence of him on a Rebel ship, that was something else entirely.

He looked up when he heard some of the Rogues approaching. Luke and Wedge had both served at Yavin and Tycho was Alderaanian. They all had a part to play in the anniversary. Han agreed to attend but said he wouldn't participate. One medal ceremony was enough for him.

"Finally!" Wedge shouted from twenty feet away. "Thought you'd never get here. We've got a free night. Thought we could interest you in a game."

"Now?"

Luke sat on the ramp and Tycho leaned against one of the support struts. Everyone was feeling very comfortable around his ship.

"Looking forward to winning your credits but I can wait until you're settled." Wedge laughed. "Maybe visit the swanky mess and discover the joys of real food again."

The three of them were acting almost perky and Han was already irritated. He wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by so much good cheer.

"Not tonight."

He turned back to his work, hoping they would get the hint that the conversation was over.

"You don't want to play cards?" Luke looked almost shocked. "Can't remember you ever turning down a game."

"Then you haven't been paying attention."

"Okay, you don't want to play." Wedge was playing negotiator now. "But maybe we could…"

"Stay off my ship." He threw Wedge a hard stare. "And stay away from my liquor."

Wedge held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, got it."

"Did you get a better invite, Solo?" Tycho narrowed his eyes at him. "You and the King best pals now? Throwing us over for a fancy dinner with royalty?"

"How about you kids move along." Han swept his arm out, indicating all the space they had to explore. "Some of us have work to do."

They all gave some variation of a shoulder shrug and walked off. Luke caught Han's eye, did a quick check-in that everything was okay. Han raised a hand, nodded once, then headed back inside.

There wasn't enough to do and he was driving Chewie crazy. Opened up one panel, pulled out wires, then decided to start something else. Complained that tools weren't where they were supposed to be. Didn't like the work Chewie did on the upper lift hatch and didn't want to talk about it when Chewie pointed out it was Han's handiwork.

[You were supposed to fix it but decided to mate with the Princess instead.]

Then that was all Han could think about. It was the time she showed up and set the ground rules for the affair. He probably would have agreed to just about anything in that moment. It was proof that the good sex wasn't a fluke. That she was into it as much as him. Made a big deal about having no time to stay then suggested round three in the 'fresher.

He needed to walk. Clear his head. He could check things out, see what the Mon Cal had to offer, and stop fixating on what was dead and gone.

He didn't have a route to follow so went by instinct. Walked the corridors, shadowed crew members through passageways, slipped into the engine room and kitchen and barracks. Stood in front of some impressive viewports, getting lost in the starscape.

There was a large mess hall with a Rebels and Mon Calamari hanging about at tables. A recreation area with a very large swimming pool. An entire floor of meeting and conference rooms. He caught a glimpse in the officer quarters. He could see a sitting room and kitchenette. There must be a bedroom and fresher behind. Certainly a lot fancier than Rebel base digs. Leia's room on Osler had little more than a cot and a small desk to work at. Han had only been in her room once and that was enough to insist they meet up on the Falcon instead. He never would have considered his ship luxurious but it was a hell of lot better than her space.

He ignored several messages from Chewie, who had decided to invite the Rogues on board for the game. Instead he went back to the mess, found some easily transportable food and went back to the viewport.

Han used to spend a lot of time lying on rooftops, staring at the stars. Thought he had his future mapped out. Once he got off Corellia, the rest would come easy. Of course some of that stargazing time was due to missing his curfew with the Worms, which meant a night on the streets and two missed meals. If he couldn't rustle something up on his own, he had to last until dinner the next night.

He was so fucking hungry in those days. A deep gnawing ache that never left him. He still woke up some mornings, panicked there was nothing to eat. Then he'd spend the day on edge, pissed that he still carried that with him. Somehow his body wouldn't let him forget. Needed to remind him where he came from. He'd think he managed to lock everything away and it would all come flooding back.

He was a tall kid but until skinny as a pole until he was about seventeen. Clothes were always too small. When he found a pair of boots that fit him, he was so worried someone would steal them that he never took them off. He was finally forced to when blisters formed and Q'ira told him he was going to stink.

Han was walking along an open walkway that overlooked an atrium when he spotted Leia.

They were moving in a group again, heading toward the officer quarters. Mothma was beside the King's repulsor chair and a line of dignitaries followed them. He recognized most of them. The Mon Calamari in a beige uniform was new. Han figured he was probably the official host of the event. General Galadotte and Lord Pynjahn, deep in conversation, had veered off toward one of the other corridors. Fron was on his commlink, probably trying to find something else to do for the night. Leia and Myka were, once again, the last in line.

Han leaned on the railing to watch them. He wasn't hiding. All the better if she looked up and saw him.

They were walking close together. Myka's hands behind his back in what must be his default position. Leia held hers clasped in front in what Han knew was her polite position. Regal. Myka looked more relaxed than he was on the Falcon. He must be thinking the reunion was going well. He leaned in as he spoke and Leia responded. Gave a small laugh.

Her posture was perfect, almost rigid. She dipped her head occasionally as she listened but her eyes were elsewhere. She was taking stock of everything around her. Probably counting how many crew members were there, memorizing their places. Noting every door and corridor that lead off the atrium. She wasn't relaxed. She was aware. Assessing. Listening to Myka but not taking it all in. When she finally looked up and saw him she didn't look angry. It was almost as though she expected him to be there.

He nodded once. She gave him a slight, almost imperceptible smile, then looked away. Myka didn't notice the exchange, too absorbed in his own voice.

Han pushed himself off the railing and made his way back to the hanger.

The Falcon's ramp was down and he could hear the card game from several meters away. He couldn't be too pissed at the Wookiee. It was his place, too. He didn't have to be nice about it but he got where Chewie was coming from. Cards usually did the trick for him, too.

"They let you bring the guest of honour in that bucket?"

Hera Syndulla was sitting the ramp of her ship, holding a mug and resting her elbows on her knees. She was lit from behind, making her lekku look larger, almost intimating, but Han could hear her smile.

"The Alliance is in worse shape than I thought."

He walked toward her, leaned against the support struts on the ramp.

"General." He nodded to her. "Hear you gave Mothma a lift. I'm sure she appreciated that nice, slow ride. Keep all the excitement down."

She nodded back at him. It wasn't a proper greeting if they didn't insult each other's ships.

"Why aren't you in the game? Chewie was promising some big wins and expensive booze."

"The Wook better not be giving away my alcohol." He growled. "Not making donations to the Rebel cause."

"Well, if any organization could use some charity, it's this one."

It wasn't that late but the hanger was remarkably quiet. He was used to the base and its non-stop activity. There was always someone, several, coming or going. Ships under repair. Walls that needed additional support in case everything, literally, came crashing down around them. He didn't mind it usually. Especially in that short run when Leia was the one coming and going.

Standing in that low light, watching for distant movements, listening to the soft hum of machinery, he didn't mind the quiet. It offered something different. Maybe not new but not unwelcome either.

"Hey, how's your kid?"

Hera smiled. She was a tough nut, like most of the Rebels, and had seen and lost plenty. She was a crazy good pilot, not as good as him, mind you, but good. A great strategist. She had been in the fight, one way or another, her entire life and was in this one for the long-haul. She kept most things quiet but mention her kid and she lit up like she'd just won the lottery.

"Good." She raised her mug at Han. Maybe as a way of saying thanks for asking. "Ball of energy. Already trying to fly Ghost. Picked up a few swear words hanging around the mechanics on Sullust."

Han laughed. He'd only met the kid a couple times but it was something to watch this toddler race through a hanger on a Rebel base. Chewie was always ridiculously excited to Jacen. Carried him all over the Falcon showing him things. The Wookiee growled something, the kid growled something else back and they both seemed perfectly happy with their non-conversation.

"Is he here?"

Hera shook her head. "He's staying with friends for a few weeks. I hate not having him in my sight but he needs some time to run around and not worry about landing in an engine pit."

"Guess it's a bit safer than being on a base."

"My son is always safest with me." Hera had a way of sounding stern and kind at the same time.

Sure, that made sense. He often thought the same thing about Leia. She wasn't going to fall in an engine pit and was more than capable of taking care of herself but he always felt better if he had her back. Added insurance.

"What about his dad? Where are his people?"

"We are Kanan's people."

Han nodded. Took note of her don't fuck with me on this one attitude.

"Got it."

He knew the kid's dad died sometime before Yavin but never asked for details cos the details didn't matter. Gone was gone. Hera got a faraway look when she mentioned him, sad mixed with something, maybe pride, definitely love, so Han guessed he was a good guy. Not like his own dad.

Han only met his father a couple times but knew he was a piece of shit. It was tough on Jaina. She couldn't shake the idea he would come back for them. He'd take care of them. But Han knew the truth and it cracked his heart a little bit more every time the asshole didn't show up.

"We don't really have a lot of choice." Hera finished off whatever was in her mug. "I don't have relatives who can take him in. It works for the Damerons but I don't have that option. And I think, all things considered, Jacen's life has been remarkably stable. He's surrounded by beings who love him. Who care for him."

Han got that, too. Life with Jaina was never one thing and he learned to adapt to new situations fast but there were times when they were surrounded by good beings. Support. Love. It didn't last. Something always happened or they needed to move but he learned to roll with it. In the end, like everything else, it didn't matter. For a while they had each other, Jaina said they were invisible when they were together, and then they didn't. He adapted to that one, too.

"Your kid's got more than most." He straightened himself, started to move back toward his own ship. "Sorry I never met his old man."

Hera laughed. "Oh, you would have hated each other. At least at first. Then you would've developed a mutual respect that neither would admit out loud."

"Sounds like the perfect relationship to me."

He walked off, hands in pockets, neither of them bothering with a proper goodbye.

A rush of laughter echo from the Falcon and Han stopped a moment to admire the scene.

He came from nothing but he had a ship to call his own. He'd grown up hungry, desperate and unwanted but he'd managed to feed himself, and a Wookiee, for more than a decade. He'd had to fight, scrape and work for everything he had and now he had enough that beings he considered friends could share in it. There was a stretch, not a long one but it happened, when he shared a bunk with a Princess. Not a princess. Leia. They'd somehow carved out something, despite everything else around them, that worked. That was real.

And if he managed that once, he could do it again.