In a World Where You are Possible

by Keys 2 the Falcon

An AU that sends Han and Leia (and Chewie) into hiding and on a different path while fighting the Empire, unknown foes and bounty hunters. There will be trauma and stress along the way but also love and happiness. Sometimes the right choices take a bit of time to take hold.

9. Chapter 9

She needed a kaffe. Desperately. Mon had offered her a tea but it was herbal and soothing and that simply wouldn't do. Leia required a great deal more as fuel.

Leia decided to visit the mess hall rather than the officers' dining room. Her meetings would start soon enough and she needed a few more minutes to clear her head. She didn't quite know how to process this new information.

Mon was suspicious of Myka's sudden appearance.

"I acknowledge that I may be speaking out of turn but I have considered this from all sides and believe I should say something."

Mon sipped from her mug. It looked like a dramatic pause but Leia recognized it as Mon struggling with her decision to discuss anything personal. The Chancellor was a firm believer that professional relationships should be kept strictly as such.

"This was something your father spoke about in confidence but I can only imagine, should the circumstances be different, he would tell you himself."

Apparently, Bail had concerns about arranging anything between her and Myka because he thought Lord Pynjahn was pushing too hard. Marrying the Princess of Alderaan was a good match, especially for someone not in an Elder House, but not his only option. Pynterra was small but wealthy. Myka's family owned industry, were well connected and in the King's inner circle.

"Bail thought it odd Lord Pynjahn was so insistent on confirming an arrangement immediately. Especially since you were young and had no plans to marry anytime soon."

Leia smiled at that comment. She had spent a lot of her teen years declaring she might never marry. Neither of her parents pushed her on the issue, suggesting they were fine with whatever path she chose.

When the arrangement was first suggested, she was at university and only a few months out of her time with Saiira. She had no interest in anything that wasn't her studies or distracted her from the burgeoning rebellion. A year later when it was brought up again, she thought of it more as an exploratory exercise. An arranged marriage wasn't unusual for a princess. Maybe it would be better if it was someone she knew.

They went out a few times. He listened politely to her plans for the Senate. She listened to his enthusiasm about ship design and engines. He wanted to hold hands and she did not. They shared a few thoroughly uninteresting kisses. It was all perfectly fine and Leia knew it was the wrong move her. She didn't want to take time away from important tasks and if she had free time she preferred to spend it with her parents or Dommin. She was willing to sacrifice passion, even love, in the name of duty but boredom was a whole other thing.

She ended it over a holo-call and Myka seemed genuinely surprised. Leia thought that was further proof they were on very different paths.

"My parents gave no indication they had any concerns. They left the decision entirely up to me."

"Your father lead me to believe they were both relieved when it was no longer an issue."

She left Mon's quarters in a cloud. She understood her parents might not tell her everything but this seemed like vital information. Would they have mentioned it if she continued to see Myka? Why leave it entirely up to her if they thought something was amiss? Leia felt a rush of anger that she couldn't ask either of them to fill in the blanks.

The energy on Home One was different than what she was used to. Crew members moved around in an orderly and distinctly uncrowded fashion. There was no underlying panic. No sense that an attack or evacuation could happen at any moment. It was almost possible to forget they were at war. Possible but not likely.

She was thinking of too many things at once. She was distracted. Hoping to see him somewhere in her journey but didn't know what she would do if it happened. It had been easy enough the night before. He was on a balcony watching her leave dinner and she didn't have to figure out what to say. Didn't blush or get angry. She could smile and walk away. Feel relieved that he was still onboard. Safe.

The mess hall was sparsely populated with some Mon Calamari crew and a few Rebels. Wedge Antilles stood near the kaffe station, staring blankly at the machine. He looked queasy, exhausted. He turned to her, gazing at her with blurry eyes.

"Morning, Princess." He held up a finger. "Wait. Commander."

Leia reached past him and put a cup under the spout. She smiled to herself. Mon and High Command had announced the night before that Leia would finally receive a military title. It wouldn't change her work at all but she appreciated the acknowledgement.

"Can I get you a cup of kaffe, Lieutenant?" She tried to hide her smile.

"I came here for one but now I think I should hit the bunk instead." He ran a hand through his hair. "Bit of a late night."

"Really? You're hiding it so well." She handed him the cup. "Why don't you take this just in case you need it."

He tried for a smile but it looked like it hurt too much.

"Thanks." Wedge took the cup and Leia filled another one. "There was a card game on the Falcon. Maybe a bit too much whisky."

"Of course there was." Leia shook her head. "Why didn't I guess Solo had something to do with it."

They walked back into the corridor, perhaps a little more slowly than Leia preferred. Wedge was taking each step with care.

"Nah. Solo was being precious." Wedge stopped in the middle of the corridor. Weaved slightly. "Not sure where he went. Things got a bit muddy after a while."

"Did Colonel Fron find you? He was looking for a card game. Or anything non-meeting related."

"Nah." Wedge stood perfectly still. Shut his eyes. "No way Chewie would've let him on board. Or anywhere near the Falcon."

"Are you going to make it back to the barracks, Antilles?" She put a hand on his arms. "Do you need an escort?"

"I'd roll my eyes at you if I didn't think I'd puke."

"Well, I'll leave you to it, then." She smiled at Wedge as she backed away. "Should I check on Luke?"

"He left early. Went to meditate or something. He's become an old man real fast."

Leia sipped her kaffe as she walked Wedge slowly walk toward the barracks. She'd made fun of him but knew she looked almost as exhausted. Make-up could only do so much.

Sleep was often elusive for her and things had only worsened as the anniversary approached. It wasn't only nightmares that woke her up. Her dreams were vivid, lifelike, and oh so painful because they weren't real. Her first night on Home One, before everyone else arrived, she shot up in bed thinking Besii Rieekan was waiting for her at dinner. When Leia realized where she was and why, that Besii had been dead for two years, her heart crumbled all over again.

She wanted to curl back up in bed and cry but knew starting might mean not stopping. If she let these feelings and tears go, if they were let loose, she might never be in one piece again. So she got out of bed and started researching the temporal patterns of various moons in the Lenoskil System, which had nothing to do with her upcoming meetings but information she might need later. It was always better to be prepared.

She could plan for the war, the new government they hoped to build. She could see where they wanted to be in six months, a year, and work toward that goal. Calculate the various permutations, prepare for every conceivable scenario and outcome. But personally, she was only surviving in short intervals. Telling herself she only needed to hold it together until the end of a meeting then set a new marker. Finish writing her speech. Get to the end of another meeting. Or lunch. Organize the next day's schedule.

Her time was not her own. Her mind and heart belonged to the Rebellion. Her body somehow carried her through to whatever came next.

She rounded the corner to the meeting rooms and found a small group waiting outside. See-Threepio was translating a conversation between a Rhodian and a Kottorn. His voice was bright and crisp, excited to be of service. The droid got on most people's nerves but he was good in these circumstances. He was shameless about inserting himself in situations and often picked up valuable information, though he rarely recognized it as such. She preferred if he wasn't in the room with her but appreciated having him around.

Myka and his father stood in the center of the foyer. Lord Pynjahn was leaning in, gesturing with one hand at his son. Leia had no idea what he was saying but he looked serious. Myka was taking it all in, looking almost as serious, until he spotted Leia.

"Leia!" Myka waved.

His father turned to her and nodded. He didn't smile but he wasn't much for smiles.

"Your Highness."

"Lord Pynjahn." She stopped a few feet away from them. "It's good to see you both."

"I was hoping I'd catch you." Myka stepped away from his father. "Before you're lost to meetings."

"Ah, those elusive two minutes of freedom." She smiled at Myka but quickly glanced at his father. Lord Pynjahn was still watching them. "You'll have to be quick."

She was genuinely surprised when Myka arrived. It had taken so long to work out the details of King Jahn's visit, keeping it secret and secure, that she hadn't considered beyond the King, Pynjahn and their attendants. Her first thought on seeing Myka was it would be nice to have another friendly face on board.

She immediately sensed his relief that she was happy to see him. His smile got a little bit wider. There was a small part of her that liked knowing she had that effect on him. It was flattering. Perhaps a petty thing, maybe ridiculous, but the attention was nice.

Or maybe it was knowing that Han was watching. That he could see she turned heads, too. Maybe he would be jealous and maybe she didn't mind that one bit.

Leia was grateful when Mon stepped between her and Myka, giving her a moment to shake those unwanted thoughts from her head. Readjust herself. She wasn't that kind of person. Seeking attention or wanting a reaction. The universe, including Captain Han Solo, did not revolve around her.

"I was thinking about what you said last night." Myka stood close to her but not too close. He was being bold for Myka but still reserved. "About not losing connections to our past. Keeping them alive."

"Did I say that? I don't recall."

What she had actually said was I don't want Alderaan to become a museum exhibit. I want it to remain a present and vital culture.

General Galadotte arrived and Lord Pynjahn moved to meet her. Leia watched as they leaned in for a quiet and quick conversation. Other delegates had moved into various rooms.

"I won't keep you, Leia." He smiled when she turned back to him. "I know you have a lot on your plate today. Perhaps I can find you when you break for lunch. Escort you to King Jahn's welcome."

"It's not really an occasion that requires an escort." She needed a better assessment of this situation and Myka's intentions. Or his father's. Find the balance between building alliances and not encouraging anything more. "I suppose nothing is informal when a King is involved but we also don't want to put any undue pressure on the attendees."

"Is there anything informal when a Princess is involved?" Myka laughed. "I'm sure many would say the same thing about you."

He wasn't being mean or mocking. It was simply the world he existed in. There were rules and protocols to follow with royalty. Even with princesses that he had a misguided notion of courting.

"Princess Leia, we are ready to start." General Dodonna was at her side. He looked rested and ready to conquer the day. His flowing robes looked pressed and Leia had no idea how he managed to always appear regal in the midst of war. "I believe you are expected in the discussion with B'oran Keyn."

"Heading there right now, General."

She didn't know if he had purposely not used her newly minted military title on purpose or if he would always think of her as a princess first.

"Lord Pynjahn will be joining you. He believes Pynterra can offer some solutions to the negotiations."

Leia didn't react. She kept her mask on.

"Of course. I look forward to the discussion."

Myka caught her eye before she could walk away.

"I'll see you at lunch then." He smiled then headed back down the corridor.

Her morning wasn't exactly hellish but definitely not what she hoped for.

She had dealt with Keyn before and remembered her father's stories of negotiations when Keyn was Corellia's Minister of Trade. He could be a difficult man, loud and pompous, but straight-forward in all his dealings. If he said he was going to do it, he did it. There was no reneging on a contract.

Since returning to his manufacturing plant, Keyn had public contracts with the Empire and private dealings with the Rebellion and made a steady profit off of each. While that wasn't an ideal situation, it also wasn't unusual. The issue with that morning's meeting was Lord Pynjahn's involvement and inserting Pynterran industry, his family's companies in particular, into the mix.

It was another tightrope. Pynterra was a valuable ally, King Jahn held the key to potential more funds, and Tamas Pynjahn was the gate keeper to the King. He had long been the King's chief advisor and his influence had seemingly risen as the King's health declined. Jahn's mind was still sharp and, by all accounts, he was aware of and involved in all government matters but he was stepping back from the public forum. He was old and tired and could only attend to a select number of things per day and Tamas called the shots.

Leia, as a fellow Elder House member and daughter of a close friend, had privileges but demanding anything seemed unwise. Telling Lord Pynjahn that his grab for power and money was both obvious and crass would not help their cause on any front. She was in the meeting to ensure the fighter parts and engines Keyn's factories produced ended up in the hands of the Alliance for as little cost as possible. If that meant giving space to Pynjahn to negotiate resources being purchased from Pynterra to build said parts then she would do exactly that.

Leia left that meeting confident the parts were coming their way at a good price and moved on to the next one. More negotiations. Food rations and uniforms. It was important work, she was very good at her job, but she was working on auto-pilot to some degree. Her exhaustion was catching up with her and she had forgotten to eat breakfast. Apparently, willpower and kaffe would only sustain her for so long.

As soon as she was free, she dashed to the mess again. If she could grab some food and get to her quarters, she would have time to review her morning notes and change for King Jahn's official welcome. Avoiding Myka was a bonus in this scenario. It wasn't her prime objective. Not at all.

It wasn't unpleasant spending time with Myka but it only reminded her of the things she was missing. She was lonely. She thought keeping her head down, focusing on all non-Han-related things would clear her mind. She was furious with him, maybe hated him, those first few weeks after they imploded but when that died down she was left with missing him. The sex, obviously, but it didn't end there.

The real issue was she missed spending time with him period. She missed his company and that was a much harder one to explain away.

Leia intended to grab some food and duck back to her quarters but she noticed Gial Ackbar. She met the Admiral when she arrived on Home One but only had a few minutes to talk to him. Even at the previous evening's dinner, she had been too wrapped up in her royal duties entertaining King Jahn and his entourage to talk about the Mon Calamari joining the Alliance. She didn't want to miss another opportunity. She caught up with him, asked him for a few minutes of his time, and lost more than an hour.

By the time she got to the briefing room, after rushing back to her quarters to change and quickly eating a ration bar, Leia needed a moment to center herself. Remind herself where she was and what was expected of her next.

She paused outside the door and took a deep breath. She wasn't entering the room as a Rebel leader. She was the Princess of Alderaan preparing to officially welcome the King of Pynterra. She straightened her back and raised her chin. She didn't know if she could carry off regal anymore but she could be proper. She would make her mother proud.

Beings were already gathered. A few were standing in groups talking, others were sitting on the raised seating that wrapped around the room. She spotted Han's back right away. He was listening to General Syndulla talk with his arms crossed over his chest and feet hip-width apart. She knew that stance. He was ready to make his point, something that would surely blow all other arguments out of the water. Because it was Hera and Han, Leia felt certain the topic was ships and flying.

"Good afternoon, Your Highness." Hera smiled as Leia approached the group.

"It's good to see you again, General Syndulla."

Leia was a teenager, taking matters into her own hands and running covert missions for the rebellion, when she first met Hera. She was in awe of the Twi'lek almost immediately. Hera led a small crew of rebels, even before the Alliance had properly formed, that did invaluable work for the cause. She was tough, level-headed but kind, and an excellent pilot. Leia was relieved to see Hera and her crew on Yavin when she and the Falcon arrived with the Death Star plans. She felt it was a sign of good things to come.

Leia looked over at Wedge and laughed. "I'm surprised to see you here."

Wedge shrugged. "Bit of sleep. Kaffe. As greasy a breakfast as I could find."

"It's the Corellian constitution." Han still had his arms crossed. Still looked ready to make some grand point. "Nothing keeps us down."

[I've seen you fall more than a few times.] Chewie chuckled.

"Not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get up."

"Aren't we philosophical today." Leia tilted her head at him. He was so handsome it was almost annoying.

She felt certain that he would say yes if she suggested they slip off to a room together. He wasn't the type to say no to an offer of sex and, truth be told, it might be exactly what she needed. Stress relief. Distraction. Connection.

"I'm full of surprises, Princess." He threw her a half smile. "You never know what might come next."

She did her best to match his stare and not blush.

"Has anyone seen Luke?" Wedge scanned the room. "He wasn't around the barracks. Thought maybe he was doing repairs."

[I didn't see him in the hanger. Not since he left the game last night.]

"Should we be worried?" Leia didn't feel worried, didn't have that niggling sense of something wrong that she sometimes got. "I haven't seen him since before the King and his entourage arrived."

"I mean, if anyone's going to find trouble it's Luke." Wedge shrugged again. "But it's usually very loud trouble so I'm sure he's fine."

"Maybe he met someone." Hera stood with her hands on hips. "Skywalker seems like the friendly sort. I'm sure he makes friends easily."

Leia and Wedge spoke at the same time. "Maybe."

Luke had been doing this more and more. Slipping off for hours at a time. He said it was to mediate or train and since he never neglected his duties she didn't worry. She was busy, wrapped up in her own work, and barely gave it a second thought. There was also the matter of several weeks of carrying on an affair with Han Solo then a month of recovering from it. Perhaps she should be paying more attention to Luke.

"I should get back." Hera looked to the other side of the room where the Rebels from Sullust were gathered. "Think my team might need some reminders on how to behave in front of a King."

Hera turned to go but stopped and placed a hand on Leia's shoulder.

"It's good to see you, Leia."

Leia put a hand on top of Hera's. "You, too."

Hera didn't say anything more. She understood grief and the need to carry on as much as Leia did. Leia smiled when she felt Hera squeeze her shoulder before walking away.

"You know." Wedge suddenly looked paler. "I think I might sit down. Couldn't hurt."

Wedge found a seat on one of the risers next to Tycho. Ah, Tycho. He was wearing his full Rebel uniform. His hair slicked back and neat. He looked exhausted but not in the same way as Wedge.

Leia felt a wash of guilt. She should have been checking in with Tycho. And Rieekan. All of the Alderaanians on Home One for the ceremony. This was the time of year when she should focus more on them. She had been too wrapped up in Alliance business. Trying to solve the next dozen problems coming their way.

The door opened and another group, including B'oran Keyn entered the room. Keyn was a large man who favoured expensive suits and shiny boots. His grey hair was swept high like a sculpted helmet. He greeted beings like it was his party and laughed a bit too loudly for Leia's taste. Keyn was sure to make an entrance wherever he went.

Han took advantage of the brief moment of noise and distraction to lean in.

"You okay?"

She blinked. Maybe twice. She wasn't expecting the personal comment or for him to stand so close. She couldn't stop the quick blush this time around.

"Of course." She adjusted her shoulders. Clasped her hands in front. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You know you don't have to…" His eye caught movement and he looked up. His mood didn't quite darken but there was a shift. "Your boyfriend's here."

"What?" Leia had only been in the briefing room for five minutes and her emotions were swinging wildly from controlled to concerned to calm then confused.

Han nodded toward the door and she turned to see Myka walk toward them.

"Your Highness." Myka nodded. "Captain Solo."

When neither of them replied, Myka kept going.

"I'm sorry I missed you at lunch." Myka's hands went behind his back. "Where did you get to?"

Clung to her like a shadow.

"More meetings, of course." She remained calm but her heart beat was speeding up. "And I needed to change."

"You look beautiful." He was being bold. Making his move. "Don't you think so, Captain Solo?"

"Sure." Han was looking down, seemed to be focused on her neck. His jaw still clenched.

Myka laughed. He seemed genuinely charmed by Han and his refusal to acknowledge the compliment.

"I'm afraid I can't be as non-committal as you, Captain." Myka smiled at her and she felt her heart rate increase. Han was still watching her and she didn't dare look his way.

"It's good to see you, too, Chewbacca."

[Your father looks like someone who would steal candy from small children.]

Leia and Han looked at the Wookiee. It was hard to hide the shock.

[What? He can't understand me. No one here can.]

"He said it's good to see you, too." Han didn't turn back to Myka as he translated. He was trying to hide a grin.

B'oran Keyn stepped in between Myka and Han. The man believed there was no place he didn't belong. He pointed at Han in an almost a-ha gesture.

"You're from Corellia, aren't you?"

It suddenly felt like there were far too many beings in the room. Someone should have been put in charge of orchestrating the group, making sure everyone found a place easily. Was that her job? Should she be directing them to their seats?

"Yeah." Han's brow was furrowed. Even though he readily admitted where he was from, had made a joke about Corellian stamina only moments earlier, he wasn't happy being called out.

"I recognize your accent. I'm very good with accents. I'm never wrong." Keyn looked pleased with himself. "Coronet City, correct?"

Han was considering his reply, obviously planning his version of a witty retort, but instead took a deep breath.

"Yeah."

Leia almost laughed. He was keeping it brief, refusing to give Keyn anymore ammunition to guess, but still playing along. She guessed it was for her sake. To not cause a scene during an event that was important to her.

"You've lost some of your accent so I'm going to assume you haven't been home in quite some time."

Han continued to stare, daring Keyn to continue. Keyn did not recognize the dare or hear Chewie's low grumble.

"Where did you grow up in Coronet City? I'm assuming one of the lower income neighborhoods." Keyn put a hand on his chin like he was pondering an important question. He looked around the small group to make sure everyone was listening to him. "My guess is you're from the Richaun District. Or maybe the Wilslow."

[This is where you throw in a joke about sleeping with his mother.]

Han rolled his eyes and turned to Chewbacca.

"You know, someday someone's gonna speak Shyriiwook and it ain't gonna go over so well."

Chewie shrugged. [I stand by my comment.]

"Excuse me. Princes Leia." One of the King's attendants stepped up to their group. "They're waiting for you in the back room. They'd like to get started."

"Of course."

Myka held an arm out in front of him. "After you, Your Highness."

He looked disappointed when she shook her head.

"I'll see you in there."

She wanted to give him a head start. She needed a moment, even a second, to catch her breath. Leia was about to follow when Han grabbed her arm. She didn't turn to him but felt him lean in close, speak softly into her ear.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

"I can see, you know."

She looked back at him and he glanced down. She quickly put a hand to her neck, felt her rapid pulse, knew he noticed her heart beating too quickly.

"I need to get through this part then everything is fine." Her voice was barely a whisper.

She pulled her arm away and walked to the back room.

The gathering was casual by royal standards but still riddled with protocol. There were rules to follow, signs of respect, when a King was present. There would be a small procession leading King Jahn into the room. A brief welcome given by General Dodonna. A short thank you to everyone in attendance by Leia.

She knew this role by heart. Knew where to stand. How to walk. When to smile and nod at the crowd and when to look straight ahead. For the next hour or so, she was Princess Leia. Timer set. Marker in place.

Myka wanted to walk with her as they re-entered the room but she declined. He really wasn't taking the hint. She insisted that General Rieekan should be at her side. This wasn't the official commemoration of Alderaan's destruction but she wanted to pay tribute none-the-less. The focus of the conference was negotiations, supplies and funding, so only a few Alderaanians were invited but there would be people in the room who understood.

"I'm sure General Rieekan doesn't expect this honor." Lord Pynjahn stood close to her. Kept his voice low.

"It is hardly an honor." Leia looked up at him. She didn't worry about keeping her voice low. "But it is appropriate."

"I agree with Princess Leia." King Jahn appeared to be frail but his hearing was fine. "She and General Rieekan are Alderaanian. We have a long-standing and close relationship but she has no true ties with Pynterra. They should walk together."

He didn't sound anger or dogmatic but it was the final answer. No more discussion was needed. King Jahn turned back to his attendant who handed him a cup of something. Leia noticed his hand shaking as he clutched the cup.

"May I have a quick word with you, Your Highness?" Pynjahn leaned in again. "It will only take a moment."

She nodded and stepped to the side of the room with him. They didn't have much time but curiosity got the best of her.

"I'm sorry we haven't had the chance to talk until now." They were far enough to the side that he didn't have to whisper but he kept his voice low. It was a testament to his power that everyone gave them adequate space. "My son has been monopolizing so much of your time."

She read every word as a trap. Something she needed to navigate around. Had she always questioned Lord Pynjahn's actions in this way? Or was she reacting based on her conversation with Mon? There was also the not so small matter of spending two years underground and on-the-run. Her ability to trust, even old associates, had eroded.

"Myka seems to be doing well. It's been nice to catch up."

Leia clasped her hands. Kept her voice neutral. She knew he had a card to play.

"I'm glad." His hands went behind his back. "I must also apologize that you've had almost no time alone with King Jahn. I'm afraid I need to be quite protective of his time. His mind remains as sharp as ever but he requires more rest these days. I'm sure you understand."

She nodded.

"Of course, I am telling you this in the strictest of confidence. I must insist that our King's reputation comes first."

"Of course." It was hard not to notice the King's physical decline in the few years since seeing him last. "My father often commented that King Jahn was lucky to have someone so diligent at his side."

"Your father was a great man and a dear friend."

She knew he wouldn't have used those exact words to describe Pynjahn but Bail seemed to like him. Considered him an ally, if not a friend. Her conversation with Mon was sticking with her, though. Her father knew or suspected something more. Something he didn't think Leia should know at the time.

"Thank you."

"I'll get to the point, Your Highness." He smiled but it wasn't a friendly smile. "As you've just heard, my King puts an emphasis on all things Pynterra. He is a generous man but Pynterra comes first. Tradition. Responsibility. As well as his role as senior member of the Elder Houses."

She didn't respond. Let him play this out on his own.

"You are, of course, a member of an Elder House. Unfortunately, as hard as it is to say aloud, the last member of your house. And considering the circumstances and the unfortunate bounty the Empire has placed on you, you are even further removed from that status."

"Are you suggesting I am, or should be, denied access to King Jahn or other members because Alderaan was destroyed?"

She really had no idea where this was leading and knew it wasn't going to be good.

"King Jahn, like all thinking and caring beings, is appalled, devasted, by what happened to Alderaan. It is abhorrent to think otherwise." Pynjahn looked shocked—shocked!—by her suggestion. "I know you are anxious to access the funds attached to your house. Funds that King Jahn now has complete say over."

Leia felt like he was about to hand her a ransom note.

"As I am King Jahn's closest advisor, I am well aware of his thoughts on the matter. As hard as it is to say, as it seems dreadfully unfair, he is reluctant to release funds that may or may not serve the remaining Alderaan populace. He is a careful and reserved man at heart."

"I am aware."

The King had said the same thing to her and Mon already. He had no way of knowing what Alderaan's thoughts on the Rebellion were and was aware that the diaspora was divided on what happened or what should be done. So divided, in fact, Mon made the decision to not invite certain members of the community who were quite vocal about their opposition to Leia and the rebellion. Some of Saiira's colleagues on the Appenza Peak among them.

"However, I do know, if there were stronger ties between the houses, his opinion may change."

"His concern is for the feelings of the Alderaanian refugees. How would greater ties, as you put it, help?"

Pynjahn smiled again. "Perhaps I could help push it in that direction. Should an arrangement be made."

"I see."

"Your parents and I were quite disappointed when you called off the arrangement with Myka." He bowed his head. Tried for a sympathetic look. "It came as quite a surprise."

"It was never a formal arrangement but rather a proposition to consider." Leia didn't flinch. She was up to this challenge. "My parents gave no indication they were displeased when it didn't move forward."

"They never wanted you to think you let them down. They always tried to be supportive of your various endeavors." His voice dripped in forced compassion. "However, we did not give up hope. Your father and I continued the conversation. In fact, the last time Bail and I spoke, he mentioned the possibility of making a proper match."

"Are you suggesting my father's dying wish was that I should marry your son?"

He didn't expect such a blunt response. She could see him contemplating his next move.

"Nothing quite so dramatic, I'm afraid."

Pynjahn kept his voice light, friendly, but she heard the calculating tone. He looked around the room, noted that the group was starting to assemble, then turned back to her.

"I know you aren't naïve about such things, Leia." He spoke in a low whisper. "You carry the best qualities of both your parents. Intelligent and determined. Strategic. Practical. You were young when you first refused this arrangement and I imagine still had some lingering romantic ideals. One of the many follies of youth."

"We are in the midst of war. Do you think this is the appropriate time to play matchmaker for the royal set?"

"I think your cause, however well intentioned, is dependent on the good will of others and good will, as I am sure you know, is fickle." He smiled so everyone would think they were having a pleasant conversation. "Without a steady stream of financial support, it is doomed. Unless you think small bands of angry citizens throwing rocks will make their mark against the Empire. My point, my dear Princess, is that there is such an opportunity for you and your rebellion. I have the ear of the King. I can open doors for you that would otherwise remain closed."

"How is this match to your advantage? Speaking practically, of course." She stood straight. Looked him in the eye. "I am a princess in name more than circumstance. I have no throne. I might soon have no influence depending on the outcome of this war. Why push for this?"

"I am a traditionalist. I believe in the role and importance of the Elder Houses."

Leia didn't roll her eyes and it was a struggle.

"And your father and I had a gentleman's agreement. That is something I do not take lightly."

"Excuse me." General Rieekan approached them but kept a careful distance. "We should get moving. As always, there is a schedule to keep."

"We're ready, General." Leia stepped away, hoping she could quickly put this behind her.

"Think about this carefully, Leia. Don't throw this opportunity away again. The stakes are much higher now. A great many more people are depending on you. It's not only Alderaan."

Rieekan moved to her side and held out his arm. "Shall we, Princess."

She put a hand on her elbow. "Yes. I'm ready."

The doors opened and she and Rieekan led the way into the briefing room. Everyone else followed with King Jahn arriving last.

As soon as Dodonna finished his opening remarks, Leia circulated the room. It felt better if she kept moving. She could keep her distance from Myka and his father. Count each step if she needed to ground herself. Work in increments until it was time for her to speak. Then she could set another marker to reach. Then another.

The mood in the room was subdued. Quiet conversations among colleagues, except for Colonel Fron and B'oran Keyn who were talking loudly at each other. Wedge and Tycho remained on the risers. Hera paid her respects to King Jahn. Some of her team were with her while others kept their distance. Han and Chewie stood off the side, keeping their eyes on everyone moving around the room.

There was still no sign of Luke. It was strange no one had seen him since leaving the Falcon last night. If he was still unaccounted for at the end of the event, she would send Threepio out looking for him. Artoo must know something. The astromech tended to keep a close eye on him.

Leia watched as King Jahn spoke quietly to everyone who approached him and her heart ached. Breha and Jahn had much in common. They both lead with kindness and respect. He never rushed the conversation. Asked questions. Somehow knew details about everyone's home world or was remarkably capable at faking it. From a very early age, perhaps as soon as she could sit on her mother's lap without causing a fuss, she watched Queen Breha do the same thing and every one of the King's gesture, every welcoming word, made her miss her mother more.

Her mind was darting. Searching. She didn't believe Lord Pynjahn. Her father wasn't pushing for her to marry Myka. She doubted that the conversation went much further after she called an end to the proposition. Pynjahn's excuses were suspect but his reasons why she should consider the union weren't out of bounds. If it brought secure financing, she should keep it on the table.

She slowly made her way to the center dais to make her speech, trying to ignore the buzzing in her ears. It was the anniversary. That was the problem. Too many demands, memories, coming at her all at once. She was condemned for not openly grieving than expected to lead memorials and not break down.

This was her second year in this position and she should have been better prepared. Beings were depending on her. She wasn't the only one who had suffered loss. She was the only one who stood on the bridge of the Death Star and watched her home world disintegrate but refused to believe that made her pain greater. Tycho was on a holo-call with his mother when the blast hit. He was listening to her talk when she disappeared. Her voice obliterated.

Leia missed Breha's voice. Her steady timbre. Even when her mother was angry she never raised her voice. Her words grew sharper but never louder. Leia had no idea where her own temper came from. Her mother used to call her Our Little Tornado like it was a gift and not a storm that threatened to knock down walls.

She stepped up on the riser and waited for the room to quiet. She wondered how many would turn to her and see what was missing. It should be Queen Breha standing there not her.

Then she saw him. Han was still at the back of the room, standing with hands on hips. Watching her. He held her gaze and offered the slightest of smiles. Two fingers tapped his chest just above his heart.

It took her a moment to recognize it. It belonged to one of those rambling stories she used to tell him. Even before they were sleeping together she talked too much. But he always listened, laughed, sometimes mocked and she liked getting lost in herself for a while.

They were sitting in the front cargo hold. She went to the Falcon expecting to welcome him back from a run in their new manner but they talked instead. They sat on the floor, legs stretched out and resting against each other, sharing a tin of fruit from a supply crate.

She told him how desperately she wanted to give a speech when she was young. She wanted to be like her mother. When she was twelve, a new school was opening in Aldera and her parents agreed to let her do the honors. But she was suddenly terrified. Worried that people would hate the speech. Maybe hate her for giving it.

"I panicked. I was almost in tears and begged my mother to give the speech instead."

Her mother knelt in front of her, held her by the shoulders. In the calm, gentle voice Leia relied so desperately on, told her some things were beyond her control. There would always be someone who disagreed.

"But, she said, if you speak from the heart someone will hear you and understand."

Han looked ready to mock that overly sweet sentiment when Leia demonstrated by tapping on his chest.

"She said, If you speak from the heart, I will always hear you."

On the Falcon, sitting in the hold, she was close to tears but he passed her the fruit and said, of course your first speech was at a school to make her laugh. On Home One, he gave her the signal and she returned his slightest of smiles. Felt her body relax.

"I'll only take a moment of your time." She raised a hand to get everyone's attention. Her voice carried throughout the room as they turned to her. "I wanted to acknowledge how inspiring it is to have so many of us together. To thank King Jahn for joining us."

She chose to focus on her mother's presence in the room rather than her absence. Feel her mother's voice move through her.

"When my father and others, some gathered here, many spread across the galaxy, joined to fight, to offer support in whatever way they could, we were all set on this path. A difficult, sometimes dispiriting, long path. But also one of determination. A refusal to back down or give up. I wish my parents were here to see this display of solidarity."

Leia scanned the room. Gave a small smile.

"I am well aware some of you don't put much stock in speeches and ceremony. Think it's a waste of time and energy. Quite frankly, as someone who is once again talking, I see your point. I'm getting tired of hearing my own voice. We need action not words. We aren't going to bring down the Empire or establish a new government by sitting in rooms and talking about it. Our resilience is our strength. Our strength is absolute. Even if it is bit by bit, crack by crack, we will succeed."

She caught his eye, only for a second or two but that was enough.

"While we all have our own reasons for taking these risks, I am proud to fight alongside you." Leia looked over the entire room. "May the Force be with us."

"You look nice." Luke nudged her with his elbow. Gave her a bright smile. "Been a long time since I've seen you in a dress. Well, a dress-up dress anyway."

"Where have you been?" If they were anywhere else she would have shoved him.

"Yeah, Han said you might be a bit mad." He went for the sweet smile again but she didn't fall for it.

"That's not an answer, Luke." Her hands went on her hips. "You missed the welcome ceremony. Meals. No one knew where you were."

"Sorry. I was meditating and it got away from me." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Besides, you didn't need me for any of that stuff."

"How do you know what I need?" She didn't push his hand off. "It's been a tough few days. Maybe I could have used your support."

She was mad at him but that came out as more pouty than stern.

"I'm sorry, Leia. I'm here now. I can pretend to get another medal. Act like the Hero of Yavin." He put an arm over her shoulder, gave her a quick squeeze. "And if you know how the Hero of Yavin is supposed to act, let me know."

She laughed. Shook her head at him.

"Fine. But don't do that again." She moved his arm off her shoulder. "Let someone know where you are. I could use one less thing to worry about."

"Sure." He crossed his arms over his chest. She noticed that his uniform was looking a little threadbare. "You still look nice, though."

Leia looked down at her outfit. She couldn't remember the last time she wore something that didn't lean into functional. The bodice was tight, with long sleeves and a relatively low neckline. The skirt billowed around her as she walked. The fabric, of course, was white with traces of iridescent thread woven throughout that she thought was a bit much but there were few options. Mon Mothma supplied the dress and Leia had it altered by Home One's quartermaster to fit her.

"It does feel like I'm playing dress-up." She smoothed the fabric over her hips. She spoke softly, maybe more to herself than Luke. "It's hard to believe this used to be my life."

They were putting on a bigger display this year. Hoping to impress a King. Hoping to inspire others. She would play her part. Wear the dress. Greet the guests. Tomorrow she would go back to fighting. Increments. Markers. Moving forward.

"I definitely didn't encounter anything like this on Tatooine." Luke looked around the room. A dozen or so beings were already in attendance. "I went to a few weddings, and there were sometimes dances around harvest time if things went well. But, you know, it didn't always go well."

Leia turned at the sound of the door opening. Han and Chewie entered, clearly in the middle of an argument. She couldn't make out what they were saying but watched as Han held his hands up, telling Chewie he should wait. Or maybe calm down.

Han wore his standard blood stripes and low-slung blaster. His hair was in its usual disarray. But his shirt looked new, or was at least a crisp white, and done up in an almost respectable manner. The jacket was a dark grey, almost slate, and one she'd never seen before. It fit him perfectly.

"He claims he's always had it." Luke laughed, noticing her rather surprised look. "We were giving him a hard time earlier. He insisted it was no big deal."

"He couldn't have broken it out for Yavin?"

"I asked him the same thing." Luke smiled at Leia. "I did not get a straight answer."

"At least he's consistent in that regard."

Leia noted that she felt a lot less on edge now that Han had arrived. She wasn't happy about that realization but couldn't ignore it either.

"You managed to shake off Myka for a bit."

Leia looked at Luke and somehow didn't roll her eyes.

"Wedge said he may have been a bit clingy. And Han's insisting on calling him your boyfriend so there's that."

"I'm not avoiding Myka. Or anyone." She didn't know why she added that last bit but thought it couldn't hurt. "King Jahn is meeting with B'oran Keyn right now. Myka and his father are attending."

Luke tilted his head to look at her and she felt like she was being assessed. Her shields went up.

"Have you run out of things to gossip about?" Leia glanced across the room again but only Chewie was standing there. He looked irritated with arms folded across his chest. "Can't you spend your time talking about Wedge and Cyn? Something that actually has substance."

"Actually." Luke did a shoulder check before finishing his thought. "They broke up."

"Really?" Leia almost gasped. She stepped closer and whispered. Suddenly it felt like they were divulging state secrets. "Do you know what happened?"

He shrugged. "Wedge said they needed a break. That's all we got."

"Huh." Leia laughed. "I feel a bit bad about picking on him about his hangover now."

"It's nice to see you laugh." Luke caught her eye again. "There hasn't been enough of that lately."

Sweet, Luke. Always checking in. Always expressing whatever concern or emotion that popped up. Why couldn't she be interested in one of these nice men? If she had the time for such things, of course. Why was her head turned by a ridiculous scoundrel with a short attention span?

It's not just your head, though. Is it?

She was going to make herself blush again if she wasn't careful.

"Hey, Princess."

She took a deep breath, hoping that gave her enough time to look cool and collected, and turned to look at him. Han nodded to Luke then looked back at her. He seemed frustrated but she didn't think it was directed at her.

"Leia." He corrected himself.

"How can I help you, Captain?"

He noticed she chose his title, not his name. She was playing power games by instinct.

"Chewie wants to talk to your King."

"He's not my King." He was irritating her now. Nothing was easy with him. "And I don't control his schedule. We have to work through Lord Pynjahn like everyone else."

"Well, Chewie's got a speech prepared." Han shrugged his shoulders. "Said he and the King developed a rapport when we flew them in. Don't give me that look. That's what he said. Said they have a rapport and the King would be happy to talk to him."

"I can try." Leia crossed her arms over her chest as she thought it through. "The former Minister of Trade from Corellia is with him now. We might have some time when they finish and before the speeches start."

"Looks like Chewie doesn't feel like waiting."

They turned to Luke then where he was pointing as Chewie made his way to the backroom.

"Shit!"

Han took off in Chewie's direction with Leia right behind him.

Chewie already had the door open and the attendants were blocking the room with blasters raised. He growled, a questioning growl if you knew what to listen for but slightly terrifying for those who didn't, and took another step in.

Han grabbed the Wookiee's arm.

"Hey, I thought we agreed you'd wait until we talked to Leia."

[You were taking too long.]

"I was gone two minutes."

[You were more interested in talking than getting the job done.]

The attendants were blocking Chewbacca's way and ready to push him back out the door by whatever means necessary. Leia looked into the room. King Jahn, Myka and his father, and B'oran Keyn were all watching with interest.

"Is there anything we can help you with, Princess." Lord Pynjahn looked displeased but remained polite.

"I apologize for the interruption." She stepped around the attendants. "I realize this is unexpected but Chewbacca would like a moment of your time."

King Jahn nodded and waved them into the room. "Of course, of course. I'm happy to listen to whatever Chewbacca has to say."

The three of them stepped inside and Chewie gave a satisfied grunt in Han's direction.

[See? Rapport.]

"Chewbacca, it's good to see you again." King Jahn waved a hand, indicating a chair across from him. "Please have a seat. Tell me what's on your mind."

Chewie bowed before the King then took his seat.

"My Lord." Pynjahn stood beside the King's chair. "We still have some details to work out with Sir Keyn."

"We can finish later." The King' hand went up again without looking at Pynjahn. "I don't want to waste Chewbacca's time."

Pynjahn held his place at the King's right side. It was a power move that Leia recognized. Knew that Pynjahn was asserting his authority and connection to the King. She assumed it had more to do with the Keyn's presence than Chewie and Han. She doubted Pynjahn was concerned about them at all.

She took a chair a few feet away and Myka, true to form, moved to sit beside her.

[I won't take long, Your Majesty.] Chewbacca gave another quick nod to the King. [I wanted to tell you about Kashyyyk and why I am with the Rebellion.]

"Says he'll make it quick." Han spoke from the side of the room. He was leaning with one shoulder resting against the wall. His fingers looped around his belt buckle.

Chewie turned in his chair to look at him.

[That's not what I said.]

"Close enough."

[I asked you to do this instead of the droid because you recognize the nuance.]

"Nuance?" Han's brow furrowed and he barely refrained from scoffing. "Where are you picking up this stuff?"

[Just say what I say.]

"Fine. He said, I wanted to tell you about Kashyyyk and why I am with the Rebellion."

Leia lowered her head and bit her lip to keep herself from laughing.

[You've never been to Kashyyyk. I know because I've been alive much longer than you and I would remember the King of Pynterra visiting.]

Leia could pick up most of what Chewie was saying and assumed, since he didn't complain again, that Han was translating as requested.

[There is nowhere else quite like Kashyyyk. We have a single season and the only change in weather is the time of rain.] Chewie paused so Han could translate. [We build cities in the trees. Exist in harmony with nature, the forest, the resources that give us life. Make us strong.]

Myka let out a soft grunt, more of a huh. He was taking it all in.

Pynjahn shifted in his spot beside the King's chair, drawing attention to himself. He gave a quick glance to Keyn, who to be honest, seemed more interested in Han than Chewie.

"I do need to remind you that our time is limited."

King Jahn help up a hand without turning around. Pynjahn clasped his hands behind his back and did not look pleased.

Chewie continued to describe Kashyyyk, the Wookiees in his tribe, his family's role in protecting and preserving their planet. Han's voice softened as he listened then spoke. He pulled up a chair to sit closer to Chewie.

[We were members of the Galactic Republic, fought against the Separatists during the Clone Wars. But like so many others, we were betrayed. I watched the Clones turn on the Jedi, turn on the Wookiee.]

Chewie's hands here on his knees. He leaned forward and spoke in soft growls.

[The Empire enslaved us. Sold us as beasts of burden. Forced us into mines and factories and hovels. Destroyed our forests. Ripped apart our earth, stole the resources we need to survive. That keep Kashyyyk alive.]

Han was listening closely, maybe trying to capture each word to share. The two of them fought and bickered so often it was easy to forget or overlook their bond. They were more than partners, more than brothers maybe. She could feel their warmth from a distance.

[I was taken from my family, my mate and son, and imprisoned in a mine. I didn't see the sun for months at a time. I watched many of my kin die at the hands of the Empire and fought against my oppressors whenever I could. Because I refused to work as they wanted, as punishment, I was forced to fight for the amusement of others, fight for food, shelter. All dignity was ripped from me.]

King Jahn sighed. "I am sorry, Chewbacca. These are hardships no being should ever endure."

[The truth is, if it wasn't for Solo, I would still be living chained in a cage. Or dead."

After a moment's pause, Chewie looked at Han.

[Say that last part.]

Han clenched his jaw but did as he was asked.

Myka leaned over and whispered in Leia's ear. "Did you know all of this?"

She shook her head no. She didn't want to speak. Didn't want to break the spell of Chewie's story. When she turned back, Han was looking at her and she was suddenly aware how close Myka's chair was to hers.

[Kashyyyk isn't the only planet to suffer this way under Palpatine's rule but it is my home. I have seen this suffering up close. Even though I am far away, I feel it every day.]

She knew about Kashyyyk's involvement in the Clone Wars and its Imperial occupation but she felt a rush of guilt that she hadn't asked him more. She spent countless hours with him but knew almost nothing about his life on Kashyyyk other than his mate's name was Malla.

[This rebellion is the only really hope we have of freeing my planet. The Wookiee. Of freeing other species enslaved or imprisoned, physically or politically, by the Empire.]

Han looked over at her. Almost smiled. When Chewie started talking again, Han returned his gaze to his friend and the King.

[Princess Leia lost her home world. Her family. And she was not defeated. She could have easily given up. No one would have blamed her if she couldn't carry that burden forward.]

Han took a deep breath before translating each sentence.

She kept her eyes on Chewie. She could feel the hitch in her throat, the tears that threatened to fall. She remained still, motionless. Listening.

[I gave up for a long time. Thought there was nothing I could do to help the tribes of Kashyyyk. It was something of an accident that we ended up on Yavin. That wasn't the job we took but I am grateful that we found the Princess and the young Jedi.]

She wished Luke was there to hear this story. He would like to know how much he affected Chewie's outlook.

[They reminded me to have hope. Something I thought was lost long ago. I am but one Wookiee and I know that my contributions are small compared to the rest of the Alliance, everyone who has joined, but I am doing my part and maybe someday my son will live in a free galaxy.]

She saw Han swallow before he translated that last part. Leia was missing portions of Chewie's speech but assumed Han was translating it honestly. His words certainly sounded nothing like his own.

"Have you been back? Since you escaped your captivity." The King's voice was quiet. Leia sensed his genuine concern.

[Yes. Since we started flying together.] Chewie nodded toward Han. [We've gone back for short visits when possible.]

"Did you know he was so eloquent?"

Myka's whisper startled her. She leaned in close and spoke in a harsher than intended tone.

"Of course!" She saw Myka's hurt look. Not quite a flinch but noticeable. She put a hand on his arm as an apology. "Let's listen to what he has to say."

There was a break in the conversation. Han looked into his lap, took a deep breath.

Chewie continued to speak as Han shifted uncomfortably in his chair. With Chewie's next sentence Han shook his head. Leaned back in his chair.

"Not translating that."

[It's important.]

"Not happening."

"He said Captain Solo understands." Leia spoke up. She looked between Chewbacca and King Jahn, avoiding eye contact with Han. "Captain Solo knows what it means to lose your home and family. He acts tough but he cares."

"What's the problem, pal?" Han hissed at Chewie. "I was helping you out."

[Calm down. It's my story.]

Chewbacca continued talking as Han crossed his arms over his chest. When Chewie stopped, he looked at Leia to translate.

"Even he has hope." Leia looked at Han. "And that is saying something."

Han wouldn't return her gaze. He was still scowling at Chewie.

"You understand Shyriiwook?" King Jahn asked.

"Some. I am improving but nowhere near fluent."

Chewie spoke and everyone turned to Leia, again, expecting her to speak.

She regretted her decision to step in. She understood the fundamentals but missed the subtleties of the language. The variances in tone that carried so much meaning.

"Strong… trees. Carry more weight. I'm sorry." She smiled, almost shyly, at Chewie. "I don't think I caught all of what you said."

"The forest is stronger than the tree." Han looked at Leia as he spoke and this time held her gaze.

"I understand." King Jahn nodded. "On Pynterra, we say, The ring holds its own. We are strong when we support each other."

[You are the ring and you are what the ring protects.]

Chewbacca lowered his head in a solemn bow before continuing. Han went back to diligently translating all of his friend's words.

[I wanted you to understand that my fight is Princess Leia's fight. General Rieekan and Dodonna's. The young Jedi, Luke. He lost his father to war before he was born and still believes we all have the light in us to save the galaxy.]

Leia lowered her head again. Clasped her hands in her lap so she would have something to focus on.

"Thank you for coming to talk to me, Chewbacca." The King smiled. "I'm glad to have your perspective."

"Yes, yes." Pynjahn stepped forward to shake Chewbaccas's hand. "Thank you for coming by."

Han, looking relieved it was over, stood up.

"Great. Let's get out here."

"Hang on! I've figured it out. I've been listening carefully and I've got it." Keyn clapped his hands together. "You weren't from any one district."

Keyn leaned back in his chair, enjoying the attention. Extending his dramatic pause. He rested his hands on his stomach looking very self-satisfied. It took everyone else in the room a few moments to register this tonal shift. It would seem Keyn took in very little of what Chewbacca said or the solemnity of the conversation.

"What are you talking about Keyn?"

"I recognized his Corellian accent earlier but there was something that didn't quite fit." He was responding to Pynjahn but looking at Han. "But I've got it now. By my estimation, you were one of the street kids. Correct?"

Han didn't respond. He stood stock still. Hands in fists at his sides.

"Those kids came from all over Corellia. Off planet. Families that sold their children to crime syndicates. The accents were all mixed up."

"I don't think Captain Solo wants to talk about this."

It was Myka who spoke. Everyone was surprised, pausing to look at him. Everyone but Keyn, of course.

"You'd be shocked, Tamas." Keyn turned in his chair to look at Pynjahn. "You wouldn't believe the conditions they live in. Some of them live in the actual city sewers."

"Come now, Keyn. Now's not the time." Pynjahn sounded bored. He had no interest in Corellian slums stories.

But Keyn had no intention of stopping. He was enjoying himself. Showing off on his knowledge of Corellia and its underworld.

"It sounds fantastical but it's true. A community of children living in the sewers and trained as thieves. Called the scrumrats, though I'm not sure why. Most likely because they ate rats and garbage. You look like you don't believe me, Your Highness, but I swear every word is true."

Leia was standing, though she didn't remember getting up. She turned to Han but he wouldn't face her. He kept his eyes on Keyn.

"I've encountered many of them and there's no mistaking where they come from. You can't imagine the smell."

He laughed. Maybe he thought it was a joke. He certainly wasn't embarrassed about sharing the information.

"What is being done for these children?" King Jahn definitely didn't see it as a joke.

"My company has a number of charities that run homes for these children." Keyn didn't sound as boisterous but it felt more like a character he was putting on. "Get them off the streets and into safe beds."

"Homes." Han's voice was thick with sarcasm.

"Proper food. Schooling. They learn a trade."

"What kind of trades do they learn?"

It was Myka again. This time, even Keyn looked at him.

"A variety of things."

"They don't work in your factories?"

"Of course not!"

Keyn seemed offended by the comment and Leia was almost relieved. She didn't think the man was a saint but using child labour in factories was on another level. Even the Alliance wasn't that desperate.

"But discipline is important. These children need order and structure. Listen, we have encountered all kinds with ridiculous notions on how to help. Believing they can empower them. These children are essentially feral, living in muck, starving, diseased, and this woman wants to give them agency."

Keyn almost shuddered as he said agency.

Chewie growled again but it wasn't directed at Keyn.

[Not now. Don't make a mess for her to clean up.]

Han continued to stare, eyes full of rage.

She wanted to comfort him but didn't know how. Did he even want or need comfort? She had no idea if any of this was true but it was hitting close. He felt the need to defend himself or someone he cared about. He wasn't reacting, clearly holding himself back from punching Keyn, because he cared for her.

She knew so little about him really. Whether she intended to or not, she had revealed so much to him. Enough that he knew how to calm her with a single gesture. A tap to his chest. Knew that she needed to remember her mother's words. That Breha was still with her. She had no idea if Han even knew his mother and if she was someone he would want to remember. She had no clue how to offer him the simplest of comfort. If he would want it from her.

She put a hand on his arm and he spun to look at her, eyes blazing. For a moment, she thought he might yell at her. She'd seen him angry often but had seen this look only once or twice. A deep, bottomless rage.

She wasn't afraid of him but for him. She had felt something similar before but this had an indiscriminate quality. It wasn't for one particular wrong but a lifetime of struggles. Not having the words, or maybe the use of her voice, she squeezed his arm.

Something shifted. His eyes softened as he took her in. Focused on her eyes. She sensed something else that she couldn't name. Maybe regret. Shame. Something more. He swallowed once and she almost expected a smile. Instead, Han pulled his arm away and turned to Chewie.

"I'm leaving. Don't give a fuck what you do."

He was gone. Leia stared at the closed door wondering if she should follow him. Conversation in the room started up again. Pynjahn and Keyn made plans to meet in the morning to finalize their agreement. King Jahn spoke quietly to his attendants. Myka stepped to her side and asked if she was alright but she looked over at Chewie.

[He needs to be alone.]

Leia wasn't sure that was true but also didn't know if it was wishful thinking on her part. She wanted him to need her. If he needed comfort, she wanted to be the one to give it.

"Perhaps we should move to the other room. I'm sure others are anxious to start." King Jahn looked at Pynjahn then Leia. "Would you walk with me, Your Highness?"

"Of course." She nodded. "I would be honored."

His attendants moved his chair in place and everyone else in the room fell in line.

"I suspect I won't last long tonight. I will be ready to retire when the ceremony is over." He put a hand on her arm. "We are scheduled to leave first thing in the morning but I would like one more meeting with you. Could I ask you and Chancellor Mothma to meet in my quarters?"

"Of course." Leia put a hand over his. "I'll need to check with her but I'm sure that will work."

He nodded and an attendant opened the door.

The rest of the evening was something of a blur. She made her speech, followed by Mon's. They honored the pilots in attendance who fought at Yavin. Luke, Wedge and Hera. She tried not to let her exhaustion show but she was grateful this conference was over. She made it through another Alderaan speech without flying into a rage about the injustice of it all or breaking down in tears consumed by the never-ending grief. It would be another night with little sleep.

Luke, perhaps realizing she didn't want to be alone, squeezed her hand. It was comforting, he was a comfort, but something wasn't right. Something more than the anxiety and exhaustion, the anger that plagued her.

She'd been pulled in two many directions. Too many memories rising unbidden. Too difficult to hold on to the pieces she needed, discard the ones that pulled her down. She could focus on the work, whatever was needed from her, but it was like existing on many planes at once. All the different Leias getting the job done but they had lost their moorings.

Leia suddenly, desperately, missed her bedroom at the palace. It had been hers since she left the nursery and was filled with remnants from all the stages of her life. Childhood books and toys, stuffies. A holo of a band she loved when she was eleven. Holos of friends from school and university, an almost shrine to her years with Dommin. It was the one space she allowed herself to be messy so clothes, datapads and books, trinkets, were strewn about the room. Her mother, the maids assigned to her room, rolled their eyes at her clutter, but no one complained. They let her have it. So different from the princess the rest of Alderaan saw.

Her bed was wide and piled high with pillows and quilts. As much as she wanted to do, accomplish, everything and immediately, Leia loved crawling into her bed at night. It was her retreat, her solace. When she could, she spent her early mornings there with kaffe and a book. Sometimes Breha visited, sat on the side of the bed, and they talked about their days. The seemingly inconsequential things that filled a schedule and it was nice sharing with someone else because knowing the small things meant knowing that person.

Leia wanted to crawl into her bed. Pull the quilts high. Sink into her pillows and feel restored. Find her balance again.

"It's hard to believe we're almost done here." Myka put his hands behind his back. It was his go to gesture no matter what his mood. "It went by so quickly."

Leia tried to keep in mind that Myka stepped away from his work to come to Home One. He didn't spend days in meeting and negotiations. He didn't have to give a speech to ensure no one forgot about the genocide of her planet amidst a war that threatened further genocide at every turn. She refrained from saying, this wasn't a fucking vacation for the rest of us.

"I've already been called for an early morning meeting with King Jahn." She smiled. "I'm sure we'll have time for a proper goodbye then."

Because she didn't want to deal with a long goodbye now. Didn't want to answer questions she hadn't considered. The pressure was on but she needed to delay it for a little while longer. She needed time to review things from all angles.

Rieekan joined them, trying his hand at small talk and Leia struggled not to laugh. He was really quite terrible at it. She realized how much he must have relied on Besii to get through social gatherings. She was a quiet woman but not shy. Knew how to guide a conservation so her husband who was better suited to discussing military strategy wasn't left out.

"If you don't mind gentlemen, I'll excuse myself." Leia put a hand on her stomach. "It's been a long day and I'm sure tomorrow will be more of the same."

"May I walk you out, Commander?" Rieekan nodded politely and she smiled. She liked this title more than expected.

"Of course." She turned to Myka. "I'll see you and your father in the morning."

"Do you mind if I walk with you?" Myka looked between her and Rieekan. "It looks like the evening is winding down."

"Actually, I would like a few minutes alone with Commander Organa. If she agrees, of course," Rieekan said. "I have a few things to go over before I leave in the morning."

Leia nodded to Myka, said a quick qood night, and headed to the door with Rieekan at her side. They were almost out when Lord Pynjahn stopped them. She didn't sigh but her frustration was obvious.

"I'm glad we had a chance to speak this evening." He gave a small bow. "I look forward to our follow-up conversation. I'm sure there are great things ahead."

"Have a good night, Lord Pynjahn."

Leia walked out and Rieekan had to take a few quick steps to catch up.

Once they were in the corridor, and had resumed a normal pace, she turned to him.

"Did Mon tell you to interrupt?"

Rieekan furrowed his brow. "No. Is there something I should know?"

Leia shook her head. "I'm likely over thinking things."

They walked a few feet in silence.

"Leia, I'm not sure what you are referring to but I would like to remind you of something." He waited for her to look at him. "You don't have to do everything. Let someone else carry things. Not always. But now and then would be good."

She looked away. She couldn't think of an opposing argument.

"My point is it doesn't always have to be you."

There may be other options but there is always a best one. The one that helps the most and disrupts the least. She didn't know that answer.

"I actually do have Alliance business to discuss. That wasn't a ruse."

"Of course." Leia laughed. "Sorry. I'm letting my mind wander a lot these days."

"I encourage more of that, for your sake. Right now, though, we need to discuss who stays on the Lumen and who goes to Sullust."

"Do we have reports on possible new bases? Have we heard back from any scouts?"

They spent the rest of the walk in conversation about troop assignments and base locales. By the time they reached her quarters, they had a plan in place. Leia intended to sit with her datapad and make notes after she took a quick shower but once she was in the shower, she didn't want to get out. She washed her hair, lingered under the hot water and enjoyed the luxuries of Home One's officer quarters. She'd be back on Lumen soon then likely a base and she was going to miss having her own 'fresher.

The long shower also managed to zap any energy she had to do work. She changed into leggings and a sweater and had just poured herself a cup of tea when the door buzzer went off.

Leia groaned, knowing it was Myka and likely sent by his father. She was losing her patience. No. Correction. She lost her patience a long time ago. She had now lost any interest in pretending she had any patience left.

"Who is it?" She stayed in her kitchenette and shouted. "It's late."

"It's me."

Leia sprang to the door and palmed it open. Han stood with arms stretched to either side of the doorframe. He was back to wearing a well-worn shirt, open a clasp or two too many, and spacer's vest. His hair looked more rumpled than usual, if possible.

"We need to talk."

"Now?"

He had that pained look again. "Yeah."

She stepped back to let him in and closed the door quickly behind him.

Han looked around the room. It was more upscale than her usual Rebel accommodations. A sitting room with kitchenette. Separate bedroom with a 'fresher off of it. He took the initiative, pulled out a chair by the table and sat down.

"Make yourself at home." She remained by the door with arms crossed over her chest.

"Leia. C'mon." He wasn't pleading but there was definitely an air of frustration. "Sit down."

She dropped her arms to her sides then sat on the other chair next to him. She felt nervous as she watched him lean forward and rest his elbows on his knees. He looked down at his hands, remaining quiet and driving her mad.

"What did you want to talk about, Captain."

"Can we stop with the Captain shit for a bit?"

He was changing the rules. They threw titles at each other as a way to get under each other's skin. To assert a distance between them.

"You clearly have something on your mind." She wasn't prepared. He had been telling her for two years he was leaving, she told him to get out more than once, but she wasn't prepared for it to happen.

He ran his hands over his face. "Look, I just think…"

He stopped talking again. Lowered his head.

This was painful to watch. Why was he delaying things? Why drag it out?

"Could you spit it out please."

He looked at her with an almost pained expression. Swallowed.

"It will be much easier if you just say it." She sat up straight in her chair. Wished she was wearing something else. It was hard to look imperious in your pajamas. "Say you're leaving and be done with it."

"What?"

"Why do you have to make everything so difficult?" Her voice almost cracked. "Tell me when you're leaving and we can end this conversation."

"I'm not leaving." He blinked a few times, possibly confused. "I mean, I am, but that's not what I want to…"

He froze again.

"This is ridiculous." She should get up and leave. It was her room but if she left she wouldn't have to sit through this display.

"Give me a sec, okay?" He rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "You said I was too calm."

"When have I ever called you calm?" She wondered if he'd finally lost his mind. "I've called you irrational and unreliable. Accused you of having a death wish a few times. But I'm not sure I would describe you as calm."

"When we left Osler, you said I was always calm." He narrowed his eyes at her. Daring her to deny it. "Said it was unnatural for someone to be so calm when things got crazy."

"That's not exactly what I meant. You tend to run directly at the problem, which isn't always wise, but you've managed to get us through some very tough spots." She should probably tell him these things more often. Or at all. "I was rattled. Upset. I let it out on you, which maybe wasn't fair but there was probably some other reason you deserved it."

He recognized it as a joke but didn't quite smile.

"Yeah, I get it." His hands went back to his thighs. He was fidgeting. Like his body was fighting against him saying anything more. "But the thing is, that stuff doesn't really get to me. I'd have a tough time if something happened to Chewie. Or Luke. You. Everything else, though. It's normal. Things go to shit. You get out of it. Things go to shit again. It's how it works."

"It's something we've all had to adjust to." She looked over at the counter and spotted her mug of tea. It would be cold soon. "There's no security or stability when at war."

"Not talking about now. Or since I met you." He leaned back. "Saying it's how it's always been. All that stuff… That guy, Keyn. It's true."

Leia felt her chest tightening. An ache spread through her body.

"About Corellia?"

"About me." He locked eyes with her. "When I was a kid."

He didn't look so nervous anymore but she wasn't sure what might set him off again. Didn't know how much attention or interest she should show.

"You lived on the streets."

"The streets. Abandoned buildings. The sewers." He gave a half-smile. "Trained as a thief by a crime syndicate."

"A scrumrat."

He flinched at that one. Took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yeah."

"How old were you?"

"How old was I when I was a kid?"

"When you lived on the streets? In the sewers."

"What does that matter?"

"I'm looking for context."

"The context is a kid living on the street. What more do you need?"

He was acting like this was an interrogation when he brought it up. Arrived at her quarters needing to talk about some yet to be identified thing.

"Chewie said you had a family."

"Chewie should have stuck to his own damn story." He took a deep breath. "I had a…. place then I didn't."

"Do you want to elaborate?"

"No."

She could talk so easily to him. Revealed so much about her past, Alderaan, struggles with High Command. It was an unexpected gift of their friendship. But he looked like he was in physical pain trying to find his words, to say anything to her.

"What does this have to do with Osler?"

He let his head fall back. He crossed his arms over his chest then, maybe recognizing it as too defensive a move, dropped them again.

"I never had… It was always some version of chaos. I did a few stints in those homes Keyn was so proud of and got out as fast as I could. Slept on the streets. Worked for the Worms. It was always the hustle. Don't get attached to stuff or beings cos the bottom drops out real fast. And if someone is going to get fucked over it's the scrumrat."

What or who were the Worms? Leia started to speak and he held a hand up.

"I know it sounds like a shit way to grow up, and it was, but I ain't sorry about it." He straightened in his chair again. It was a return to the proud, inflexible Han. "I don't talk about it cos it's nobody's business and I know the look people get when they hear it. I don't need anybody's sympathy or pity. That's not what this is about."

"What is it about then?" She crossed her arms. He was accusing her of things she didn't do. Concern wasn't the same as pity.

He looked stuck again. He kept painting himself into corners.

"I don't get rattled like other people when things go sideways cos it's what I've always known. Don't really remember it being any other way. But it also means I can fight and get shit done. It's what happens when there's no way but up. And I've bounced to every corner of this galaxy. Seen and done things that most could only dream of. Got my own ship and she's…"

"Please don't say anything about the Kessel Run. I really don't think I can take it."

He tried to hide his smile. Rested an elbow on the table and ran hand over his jaw. He stared at her for what was probably only seconds but long enough that she felt close to punching him if something didn't happen soon.

"I think we should try again."

"Excuse me?" She shook her head a couple times. "Try what?"

Han furrowed his brow, waved a hand in between them. She looked at him, confused, mimicked the gesture back at him.

"What does this mean?"

He threw his arms up in exasperation.

"We should be together. Or whatever." His hands rested on his knees. "Try being together again."

Leia tilted her head and fought the urge to laugh. "Were we trying before?"

"No." He pointed at her, looking far more relaxed. "And that was the problem."

"Oh, that was problem." She crossed her legs and leaned back. "And what would trying, again or for the first time, look like exactly?"

"No idea." He ran a hand over jaw again while staring at her.

"Okay." She stared at him. "Great talk."

"Same as last time. Same rules." He put a hand up again. "No expectations."

"You don't need me for casual sex." She continued her hard stare. "You've made that very clear."

He flinched and looked away. The cockiness was slipping again.

"I know I fucked up, Leia."

The ache returned. Her palms hurt. Why did her palms hurt? She could feel his pain. His rush of guilt and regret. He clasped his hands together. Let out a slow breath before looking up.

"I didn't mind the constant chaos and hustle cos I can't remember anything different. Always figured slowing down, stopping, was the end. Didn't like all the stuff that came up when it wasn't chaos, I guess."

She understood. She knew what happened when things slowed down. She knew the need to keep moving at all cost.

"Look, I know we drive each other crazy." He leaned forward, elbows on knees. "But we also drive each other crazy in the good ways."

He was trying for a knowing look, maybe a leer, but she wasn't reacting. So he smiled instead.

"Stopping with you is good. I like the quiet with you."

She could only stare at him. Keep still. Wait to see what happened next.

"Same for you." He pointed at her. "The quiet. You need that, too. With me."

She swallowed. Bit the insides of her cheeks. Gave her head the smallest of shakes. If she blinked, the tears would fall.

"I know nothing lasts, Leia. I know how this works." He looked up at her. Watched her try to contain her tears. "The bottom always falls out. When I get the money together, I'm leaving. You've got a war to win and galaxy run and you don't need a scrumrat smuggler holding you back."

He pulled his chair a few inches closer to her.

"But right now, things are good. Things could be good."

"No, things are complicated." Too late. Tears. "I know it seems ridiculous to you but the rebellion comes first. Always."

"I know that. Not saying this would make it any different."

"There's more now." Her cheeks were wet with tears. "It's complicated. Becoming increasingly more complicated."

She wanted him to reach out and touch her. Put a hand on her knee. But he didn't. He only watched.

"This doesn't have to be complicated."

She used her sleeves to dry her cheeks and let out a low groan.

"We couldn't manage more than a few weeks before things went to hell."

"Won't happen again."

"You don't know that."

He was getting his cockiness back and Leia wasn't sure how much she liked it.

"I know I won't screw it up again." He shrugged. "Not like that anyway."

Leia stood up and walked to the counter. She didn't want the tea anymore but it gave her something to do.

"How is it casual then?" She dumped the tea then refilled the mug with hot water. "I can't ask you to do that. I can't ask you to do anything. Not when I can't give anything in return. Or very little. Things are changing. Evolving. I can't ask you to not do what you want to when this is what it is."

She leaned against the counter and looked at him. Tried to ignore his laughter.

"And you give speeches for a living?"

"No one pays me to give speeches."

"And now we know why."

"Everything here, the anniversary and memorial, King Jahn." She ran her hands over her face. Pushed her hair back. "The person I used to be, maybe already lost. Sometimes want to leave behind. Sometimes save."

She didn't know what she wanted to say. All her concerns, questions, were a swirling mass but they were hovering. Not touching her right then. She recognized them but couldn't take hold.

"They gave me a rank. Commander."

"I heard."

She was done crying. Her heart wasn't racing.

"It's been days of ricocheting back and forth. Just trying to get through. Hoping that one thing doesn't make a mess of the next." She picked up her mug then put it back down on the counter. "Not days. Years. Maybe we're more alike than you think. Maybe my life was a different kind of chaos. Demands and expectations."

He was watching her. Listening. Not trying to rush the moment or her.

"I don't know how to do this." She mimicked their earlier gesture of waving a hand back and forth between them.

Han raised an eyebrow.

"You think I do? Figure we just do it until it isn't good any more. Or something happens to end it for us. And it's nobody else's business. Just us."

"And Chewie."

"Hard to avoid that one." He turned his chair to face her. "I'm not here to talk you into anything, Leia. Things are complicated for you and I don't need the details. We both know there's an end date somewhere. But I know right now, with us, there's the chaos and there's the quiet. I can't explain it but I know it's true. We're good for each other."

Leia nodded. She knew it was true. Even if she couldn't say it out loud, she didn't doubt it.

"Come here." He held a hand out to her. He widened his legs so she could stand between his knees. Placed his hands on the back of her thighs. "Maybe we can be the easy parts."

A corner of her mouth went up. "That doesn't seem likely."

"Yeah. Maybe not."

Leia ran a finger across his forehead, sweeping his hair to one side, then down the side of his face and along his jaw.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He dropped his head to her chest in mock exasperation. Squeezed her thighs and looked up at her.

"Fine. Go for it."

"Did you wear that jacket for me?"

He broke out into a wide grin. The kind that brought a little colour to his face and brightened his eyes.

"Figured a little something extra couldn't hurt." He moved his hand to her neck, tracing a finger over her pulse point. "Better with doing than saying."

Leia leaned in and kissed him, both her hands cupping his face. It was soft and slow. They lingered like it was their first time and maybe it was. Their hands gently grazed each other's faces and throats. Skimmed over clothing as they pressed into each other.

She stepped back, took his hand and pulled him off the chair.