A/N: This chapter has mention/memories of torture, trauma and the resulting scars.
Wes opened the door, hair still wet from the shower, and stepped back.
"Good to see, Solo." He waved an arm, indicating Han should enter. "If you were looking for excitement, you came to the right place."
Han surveyed the room. It was only Rogues, minus Luke, and there wasn't much happening. Wedge was slumped on the couch, feet up on the small table in front. His arm was extended toward the holo-screen as he scrolled through channels. Hobbie Klivian, first name actually Derek though no one called him that, lay on one of the lower bunks with his head propped up on his bag. He looked almost as bored as Antilles.
"What's going on, Solo?" Hobbie didn't take his eyes off the scrolling holo-channels. "Your plans not work out?"
"Night's still young." Han sat beside Wedge. "Still no Luke? The Princess is gonna be pissed."
"Like we can control her moods." Hobbie almost sounded like he was sulking.
"Watch it." Wedge looked away from the holo-screen long enough to glare at Hobbie.
Han liked knowing that Wedge, and Tycho, were ready to jump in to defend Leia if he and Luke weren't around. It gave him some peace of mind.
"That's not what I meant." Hobbie sounded contrite. "Skywalker's my Commander. I'm supposed to tell him he's not allowed to do something?"
The day had gone largely as planned. They arrived on Hakeen III that morning and got straight to work. While Leia negotiated the cost for two dozen fighters, Han and the Rogues went through each ship performing diagnostics and engine tests to ensure they were buying what was promised. There were a few inconsistencies and broken elements that they pointed out, Han maybe putting on a bigger show about unreliable product than necessary, and Leia argued for a lower price. They arranged for a quick removal in the morning then split up to make their way to a hotel near the docking bays.
It was only when they were in the lobby that Luke's absence was noted. Well, Hobbie knew. Luke told him he had a few things to do and would be back before curfew. That was almost two hours ago and there was no way Leia wasn't going to lose a gasket.
Wes sat in the chair and put his feet up on the table. He was the only one in the room who seemed relaxed, maybe even excited for what might come next. Han had no idea how he maintained that level of enthusiasm. Janson played the role of jokester, always wanted to be the life of the party, and it would probably get on Han's nerves a lot more if Janson wasn't also a damn good pilot. Despite his more annoying qualities, Janson was a good person to have your back during a firefight.
"You gonna settle on something?" Wes nudged Wedge's foot with his own.
Wedge continued with his scrolling. A news program, something about Imperial good deeds on Selhu. Smashball recaps. A drama that looked like it took place during the High Republic. An old sitcom Han didn't recognize but that wasn't surprising.
Wedge stopped on a music program and, for a moment, seemed lost in the colour and sound.
"Got no idea what this is." He still held his arm out, maybe ready to set the scrolling in motion again or maybe frozen in place. "Used to know every damn song. Didn't matter where it came from. It was my thing. I was a music guy. Now I have no fucking clue what's going on."
"You doing okay, Antilles?" Han tried to sound light-hearted, slightly mocking, to get a reaction.
"It's a kick in the ass knowing the galaxy just kept going." Wedge looked at Han. "Wonder if they noticed I was gone."
They'd been shuffled around since Osler. Rogues, Red and Gold squadrons had stuck together, and went wherever Leia went, but they moved from frigate to base to frigate following jobs and campaigns. Everyone was game. They knew what they signed up for but it hit them hard sometimes. Han was used to a life without roots. His home was the Falcon and it didn't matter much where they landed. He always had his own bunk, a place that was his. The Rogues seemed to wear down in turns and tonight Wedge was on deck. They were fighting the good fight but it got hard when it felt like there wasn't anything else to hold on to.
Han often forgot that a lot of these Rebels left something or someone behind when they enlisted. Wedge had been there since he defected from the Academy a while before Yavin. Hobbie, too. They used to belong to someone. Had families and homes. Lives that they missed. Han got what Wedge was saying, that it felt like the galaxy was passing him by while he fought to save it, but he couldn't relate.
He barely even saw a holo-program after Jaina. He tried watching games by lingering in electronics shops but the staff always pegged him for a thief, which was a fair guess. When he was with Bets and she'd found them some place to set up for a night or two, he'd check things out but they were never anywhere long enough for it to matter. It was just one more thing that didn't belong to him.
He didn't really get that he was missing out on anything until he reached the Academy and realized everyone else shared a common language. References and cultural experiences that Han was unaware of. His attitude was to wear it as a badge of honour. He didn't need what he didn't have.
"Bet you're all they talk about."
Wedge laughed and went back to scanning channels.
"Do you think we could get a drink downstairs?" Wes looked at Han like he had any say in the matter.
"Not likely." Wedge threw the remote on to the table in front of him. Smashball recaps was the winner. "Best to keep out of the way."
"Don't think Solo got that message." Hobbie managed to sound both bored and irritated.
Han stretched an arm over the back of the couch and crossed his legs.
"You got something to say, Klivian?"
Wes laughed. "He's still mad you got to the front desk clerk first."
"I'm not mad." Hobbie was definitely sulking. "Just saying it's gonna be boring stuck in this room with you knuckleheads all night."
They called this a deluxe suite but it was damn small. Most of the hotel's clientele were spacers or beings coming in to do quick business and not interested in paying for much beyond the basics. Four bunks, two to a side, attached to the walls, and a small sitting area squeezed into the middle. The holo-screen and server-lift for room service were right outside the 'fresher door. It was going to be a tight fit keeping everyone in there for the night and Han was glad, for many reasons, he splurged on his own room.
"She's not beholden to me." Han had never used the word beholden before but it seemed appropriate. "You can still make your move."
Hobbie mumbled something, maybe whatever, and Wedge and Han both chuckled.
He'd been pretty obvious about it. Leaned over the counter, resting on his elbows, talking to her in a low, almost gravelly voice, as she checked them in. Delphiny was about thirty, had long, jet black hair and bright green eyes. She was a bit of knock-out and knew it. Did just as much leaning back in his direction as she pointed out room locations, described all the hotels amenities. There weren't many but she put on a good show.
It all came pretty natural to him. He got information about who else was staying there, when the Imperials did their patrols, how to access exits out back and on the roof. People gave up all kinds of info in the name of flirting. Someone like Delphiny didn't expect any ulterior motive outside chatting her up. She had no reason to suspect anyone was interested in anything beyond her.
The conversation was cut short by Leia who eventually grew tired of the display. She stepped up beside him and spoke in her most congenial voice.
"I hate to break up this happy exchange but I'd really like to take a shower. If we could have our key cards, we can leave the two of you to continue as you see fit."
She was dressed in civvies. Work pants that almost fit her thanks to a large belt and a button-up shirt. Her braids were pulled into a tight bun and covered by a scarf. She looked like almost every other person passing through the lobby, tired from travel and work. Getting ready for the nightly lockdown. Delphiny recognized her as the person actually in charge and finished up with her.
Leia didn't look at him when she spoke or when she got the key cards and turned away. He followed the group up to the rooms, restraining himself from taking the stairs two at a time.
"You heard from the Princess?" Han looked around the room.
"Heard her." Wedge nodded to the opposite wall. "The holo was on for a bit but she probably got sick of the news."
He couldn't hear anything over the holo-screen but figured she was probably hunched over her datapad anyway. Pulling strands of hair from her braids, wrapping it around her finger, then pulling out another one, all of which she would carefully reassemble before others saw her, as she stressed about funds. That's something else he was learning about Leia. Having funds didn't make her worry less. It only gave her different things to worry over.
For the first time in a long while, the Alliance had some credits and that meant he had some, too. King Jahn came through and gave access to some of the Organa money. Leia had stopped by the Falcon to thank Chewie, said it was his Kashyyyk speech that pushed the King over the edge. The Wookiee hadn't shut up about it for more than a month.
It was only a small portion of the account but enough to buy up a chunk of goods and fund a serious search for a new base. There was more to the story but she wasn't talking. Not to Han, anyway, or Luke. But he knew she and Mothma spent a lot of time on holo-calls those first few days. Leia said it was nothing but she said it in a way that clearly sounded like something.
"Itchy to get my hands on that X-27." Wes fidgeted in the chair. He wasn't ready to settle in yet. "I got some ideas that will really make her fly."
The conversation shifted to who exactly had the rights to the X-27 or any of the fighters purchased. Each pilot had their own ideas on how to fix them up or tear them apart for scraps. Han had no stake in the game but he had plenty of opinions. A few things had changed in his years with the Rebellion and one was his tolerance level for shooting the shit. Depending on the company, he didn't mind it so much.
Han stood up at the sound of knocking, expecting to see her and somehow still surprised that she was standing there. It got him every time. Gave him a little jolt. A sharp reminder that this was his life.
He barely had time to smile a hello before she started talking.
"Is he here?" She stepped past Han. Her braids were still messy. He could picture her suddenly realizing the time and racing next door. "Curfew starts in ten minutes."
"The kid knows how to tell time." Han shut the door. "He'll lay low if he's gonna miss curfew."
"Has anyone talked to him?" She looked at the Rogues. Hobbie and Wes shook their heads.
"Tried but his comm must be off." Wedge spoke cautiously, like he might be betraying a friend.
"That's what I thought, too." She furrowed her brow. Couldn't decide if she was furious or worried or simply tired of it all. "How does that help anybody?"
This wasn't the first time Luke had disappeared while on mission. She didn't like it but he hadn't run into any problems so far. He also hadn't gone unaccounted for this long.
"Did you check with Chewie?" She clutched her datapad to her chest. "Maybe he went to the Falcon instead."
Han shook his head. "Yeah. No Luke."
Everyone turned at the knock. Han opened the door and Luke almost bounded in. He stopped short when he realized everyone was staring at him.
"Hey. Everything okay?"
She took a few beats. Tried to focus on the fact that Luke was here now and safe. She knew all eyes were now on her. Han was leaning on the wall, hands in pockets. Hobbie was sitting up on the bunk. Wedge on the couch. Wes was sitting forward in his chair like he was excited for a show. She and Han could fight until the banthas came home and no one cared but arguing with Luke was considered a spectacle.
"Where have you been?"
"I went to check something out." Luke knew he was being challenged and decided to stand his ground. He did it in as easy going a way as possible, of course, but he wasn't intimidated by her questions.
"You were gone for hours and no one knew where you were." She crossed her arms over her chest. "And you arrived with only minutes to spare."
Luke moved into the room, threw his bag on the last top bunk. "But I made it."
She looked over at Han who shrugged. It was good to know it wasn't only her but took little comfort knowing Luke was confusing him, too.
"Is that the extent of your explanation?"
Luke stood opposite her with arms crossed. They looked like two matching, stubborn pillars.
"I feel like whatever I say is going to get me in trouble."
She narrowed her eyes at him. She loved the fact that Luke had matured over the years but not this part so much.
"You're supposed to be the responsible one."
"I think she's talking about you, Solo."
She turned to Hobbie and glared.
"Lt. Klivian, I would appreciate it if you would take the security of this mission seriously." She waited a beat for Hobbie to silently nod his acknowledgement before turning back to Luke. "You can't wander off on your own. If there was something you needed to do, you should have cleared it with me. I'm mission lead."
"I didn't ask because you would have said no." Luke wasn't budging.
"That's because it was a terrible idea."
"He's back now." Han spoke from his spot against the wall. "Everything's fine."
She shot him her best do you mind glare. He returned with his nothing gets to me stare.
"We set ground rules for a reason, Luke. I appreciate that you made it back in time, barely, but we can't jeopardize an entire mission on a personal whim. That's not how this works and you know it."
"Maybe we should figure out food." Wes stood up. Apparently, he wasn't enjoying the show as much as he thought he would. He moved to the screen beside the server-lift and opened up the menu.
"I didn't want you to worry." Luke stayed focused on Leia.
"Well, that plan didn't work out."
Without looking, she sensed Han move closer. He was monitoring the situation. Despite her reputation as a single-minded leader, she had no interest in a public redressing of Luke or any of the Rebels if it could be avoided. She could let this drop for now. She and Luke could have a private conversation later.
"You want something, Luke? Princess?" Wes didn't look up from the menu.
"No, thank you." Leia was certain Wes preferred a night without his boss but it was nice to be included. "I'll find something on my own."
"Get me a burger." Luke sat on the couch beside Wedge. "Chips, too. If they have them."
She could still feel Han watching her. She didn't turn back to him. She wasn't quite ready.
"Where'd you end up?" Wedge looked at Luke. He was still slumped on the couch and Leia wondered how concerned she should be about morale.
"I went to the local archives."
"You what?!" She spun to look at Luke.
Maybe she wasn't done with this topic after all. Or caring if anyone else witnessed her reaction.
"You went into a public building and did a search on the Jedi? Have you gone mad?"
Luke almost sighed. He leaned forward, resting elbows on his knees.
"My contact on Shili said there was a Jedi outpost here during the Clone Wars. I thought, since Hakeen III has been largely sympathetic to the Jedi and Rebellion, there might be something left."
"Or the Empire took extra care to remove everything. And put a flag on any suspicious searches."
"Apparently, my father spent time here."
Leia paused. Tilted her head to look at him.
"How do you know this?"
"My contact." Luke looked up at her. "On Shili."
"And who is this contact? Why haven't you mentioned them before?"
Luke raised a hand, palm up, as though saying example one.
She slowly exhaled her breath and spoke through clenched teeth.
"You're walking on thin ice, Skywalker."
Everyone was staring at them now. Even Wes had given up on the menu. Moments like this were maddening. She was expected to remain calm, level-headed and not react but this was exactly how years of planning, hard work and sacrifice could be completely undone. Luke's capture or the Empire discovering this fighter sale before they got off planet could have enormous consequences.
"Did you know about this?" She looked over her shoulder at Han.
"Again, not my fault!" He pointed a finger at her.
"Leia, I know what I'm doing." Luke remained calm. Annoyingly, stupidly, frustratingly calm.
She dropped her head in her hands, took several deep breaths before looking at Luke again.
"Let's recap. You went to the archives of a planet under Imperial martial law, while we are covertly on planet to purchase ships to fight a rebellion, to do a search on Anakin Skywalker? Murdered Jedi Knight and General in the Republican Army."
"Leia, take it down a notch." Han took another step closer.
She didn't turn to Han but held up a hand to indicate he should stop talking.
"C'mon." Han wasn't going to give up. "He was gone a couple of hours. He looked like a college kid at the library."
Leia kept her eyes on Luke.
"I'm only going to ask you this once and think about your answer carefully. Do we need to evacuate now?"
"I didn't look him up by name. I didn't search Jedi at all." Luke was getting angry, too. "I was looking for any information. Hoped there would be something about my father but really anything was a bonus."
She put her hands on hips. Let her head fall back and closed her eyes. Continued her deep breathing exercises. Reminded herself that she couldn't control everyone and that she supported everyone's rights as autonomous beings. She repeated that in her head a few times until she almost believed it.
"Hey, you're the one who's always saying Luke's on a quest or some shit." Han waved a hand around. "How else do you expect him to do it?"
"I expected meditation. Lightsaber practice." She looked at Luke. "I expect him to not put all of us in danger."
"You're never curious about your birth parents?" Han's tone was on the verge of teasing.
"No, I'm not." It was easier arguing with Han. It was frustrating but familiar. "Not all of us need to know. Why aren't you out searching for information on your father?"
"Cos he's the guy you try to forget not find."
She paused. For a split second she almost forgot all about Luke and his quest.
"You know your father?"
Han shifted, immediately regretting his off-hand comment. "You're changing the subject."
"I thought you didn't know your family?" She tried to think if Han had ever mentioned his father and felt certain he hadn't. There were occasional vague references to a mother-like figure but that covered all she knew about his family.
"Remember how you were mad at Luke? For putting us all in danger."
"Hey, I thought you were on my side?" Luke wasn't pleased with that shift.
"One of us has to go down, Kid." He pointed at Luke. "And it ain't gonna be me."
She kept her laugh in check. Managed to give a slow shake of her head instead.
"I don't think it should be me either." Luke leaned back. "I'm not backing down on this one, Leia. I'm careful. I'm not going to jeopardize anything or anyone."
"I can't argue about this anymore." She moved her hands over her head. Smoothed down the wisps of hair. "Right now, I need you to go through the requisitions with me. Everything we bought, itemized, make sure we can check the list quickly in the morning."
Luke nodded a few times. "Sure, I can help."
There was no point in continuing this argument. If he said they weren't in danger because of his antics, she could move on and check all the security channels when she got back to her room. Trust was one thing but it never hurt to double and triple check, too.
"Alright, I'm out." Han turned and moved for the door.
"Got some place better to be, Solo?" Hobbie took up his spot on the bunk again.
"What have I missed?" Luke looked at Han.
"Solo was getting cozy with the front desk clerk."
Han threw a look over his shoulder but didn't have an intended target. It was more a general I'm done with this look.
"We have an early start, Captain." She caught his eye before Han reached the door. "We'll need to leave here at 0600 sharp."
"I got the memo, Princess."
Han nodded once to Luke, then Wedge, and walked out of the room.
He let himself into the room next door and was at a loss about what to do next. It was easier on the Falcon where there was always a list of repairs that needed his attention. He was adjusting to the concept of sitting still but doing it alone was something else entirely. Hotel rooms, especially ones like this built for quick stopovers and little comfort, offered few options.
There wasn't anything to clean or straighten. He travelled with very little. A fresh shirt. A razor in case he needed it. A few essentials. There was nothing to the room. A narrow bunk built into the wall. A small table and chair. A corner 'fresher that was little more than a durasteel cabinet with a shower and sani. If he stretched out in either direction he could span the room.
He was spending a lot of time waiting these days, which wasn't his natural state. Always said he preferred finding trouble before it found him. He took on a few extra jobs to distract himself. Help him pass the time. Called up some old contacts, which was how they found these used fighters, and hired on some new transports to get them between bases.
Turns out he didn't mind the work, even got a bit of a rush when he solved some nagging issue. Or maybe the rush came from telling her about it later. He downplayed it. Added in some complaint about Rebel inefficiency or idealism but she had his number. Smiled at his rant. Stretched out beside him and argued if she thought it mattered or pushed his hair back if distraction was the better option. He knew he was in it for whichever version he got cos he really fucking liked it when she looked at him that way.
He could hear muffled voices and the sound of a door opening and closing, which he assumed was Leia leaving and maybe Luke going with her. The holo-screen went on again as everyone settled in for the night.
Han looked through the menu but nothing really appealed to him. Delphiny warned him, said to avoid anything that passed as a hot meal. He ordered a few things, all cold, things he could pack up before leaving the next morning, then decided to take a shower. Might as well while he had the time.
It was a tight fit. His elbows hit the sides. He was taller than the showerhead. But there was plenty of hot water and the room was clean. He'd been in enough places where you didn't want to walk in bare feet and definitely didn't want to touch walls in the 'fresher. It likely said something that the sewers of Coronet City wasn't the worst place he'd stayed.
He was spoiled after years with the Falcon. The old girl was run down and required a certain amount of attention and care but she was all his. He called the shots. Didn't have to answer to anyone. Didn't need anyone else but Chewie to keep it running. It was everything he told himself he wanted. The only plan he'd ever really had for himself.
He stepped to the sink and wiped steam from the small mirror. He didn't really need a shave but a quick touchup wouldn't hurt. He had the time. He preferred keeping busy.
The Rogues must have started a game of cards. He couldn't make out any words, unless one of them yelled, but there was a constant rumble of laughter and voices coming through the wall. He couldn't distinguish voices enough to know if Luke was there. He couldn't hear Leia either but all that proved was she wasn't shouting.
The server-lift light went on and he removed the food. There were two extra bottles of ale, a gift from Delphiny and a perk he didn't mind.
Han put his pants on and the same shirt rather than the clean one from his bag. He was trying to decide whether or not to put his boots on when he heard the knock. He barely paused to check the viewer before opening the door and pulling her inside.
"What the hell took you so long?"
He practically lifted Leia off the floor as he kissed her.
"Work." Her hand was on the back of his neck, pulling him close. "Prepping for tomorrow."
He growled against her neck. "That's hours away."
His hands were under her shirt, tugging it loose from her pants then over her head, as he backed her toward the bunk. He leaned down to kiss her neck and shoulder, giving soft nips and a low moan against her skin. She always smelled so good.
She glanced at the food on the table. "You ordered a lot."
He grabbed her hips and pushed her on to the bunk. "You're gonna be very hungry."
He took a moment to whip off his own shirt then leaned forward. He cupped her cheeks with both hands and kissed her. Hard. His tongue sliding over hers. He felt almost desperate for her. Wanted to feel every inch of her. Everything about her made him want more.
She laughed at his eagerness. "Okay, I'm not that late."
"You got no idea, Sweetheart." He knelt in front of her and unclasped her pants. She lifted her hips so he could pull them off. "Too long with nothing to think about 'cept getting my head between your legs."
He trailed his tongue along her stomach then circled her hip bone. Leia leaned back, supporting herself on arms stretched out behind her.
"Poured it on a little thick, don't you think?" She quickly inhaled and bit her bottom lip when his tongue moved to her inner thigh. "With your friend at the front desk."
"That was for their benefit." He nodded toward the Rogues' room. "Thin walls. They're gonna hear something."
He hooked his fingers on the waistband of her underwear.
"Figured it was better to give them other ideas."
He swiftly pulled her underwear off and tossed it behind him.
It had been too long since he'd had her to himself. These last couple days, first travelling on the Falcon then checking out the fighters all day, had been difficult. She was right there, they worked closely together, but were never alone. He couldn't lay a hand on her lower back. Kiss her forehead. Stand too close or pull her near. She could've slipped into his cabin on the Falcon but that would've been hard to disguise and she was too cautious.
There was laughter next door. Someone, Wedge maybe, shouted a taunt. Put up or shut up. Leia had the vague sense she should have reminded the Rogues to keep quiet, not draw too much attention to the room, but she was too preoccupied by Han's tongue. His hands pushing her legs farther apart.
Leia let herself be carried away. Rode his tongue and fingers, pushed against him with her fingers laced through his hair. She bit her lip so hard when she came that she worried there was blood.
"You don't have to look quite so smug." She put a hand on his cheek as he stood up and kissed her. He tasted of her and she tightened her thighs against his torso.
"Yeah, I do."
She unclasped his pants and laughed as he shimmied then kicked them off. His arm went around her waist and he almost jumped on the bunk as he swung her around. She let out a short squeal at the sudden movement and settled on his lap.
This wasn't going to last long and neither of them were concerned. They both wanted it fast, edging on rough, and hard. A race to pleasure. They had developed an easy understanding. Knew how to assess each other. Stay in sync.
She braced her hands on his shoulders as she moved quickly above him. Grinding. Encouraging. Demanding. She came again, letting out a sharp gasp, and he soon followed. His hands still on her hips, his face red as he worked to catch his breath, Leia placed a hand on either side of his face and leaned over, laughing.
"Did we just set a new record?"
"Not interested in keeping those stats."
She kissed his forehead, taking in his salty taste. They could so easily undo each other. As soon as the doors closed, the instant they had privacy, they were stripped bare.
"I really didn't have faith this bunk would hold us." She stretched out on top of him, resting her chin on her arms crossed over his chest.
"Sturdier than you think. Wouldn't put a Wookiee on one but seen a lot of big guys on these."
"Spend a lot of time in portside hotels?"
"Few." He ran his fingers up and down her spine. Her body arched slightly, responding to his touch. "Didn't always have a ship. Sometimes we were stuck."
She slipped to his side, propping her head up on a bent arm, resting a leg over his hip. He looked lost in thought and she assumed that was as close to reminiscing as he would get but he kept going.
"At the Academy, they fit eight to a room."
"I can't picture you bunking down with seven other pilots." She ran a finger along his jaw. "Maybe in my mind it's always just you and Chewie."
He put a hand behind his head. Kept the other wrapped around her waist.
"Eight didn't seem so bad then. And it was an actual bunk so what the fuck did I care?" He didn't sound mad or bitter. He might have even been laughing. "Bunk, clean sheets, learning to fly. I was living the dream."
"They made you wear a uniform, too. Follow all those rules."
"Yeah, well, the dream didn't last. No surprise." He got the faraway look again. "Didn't have much of a plan when I landed there but didn't have a lot of options either. Figured out how to fly just about anything before they busted me down so worked out well enough."
He went back to running his fingers up and down her spine. She knew the conversation was over. If she asked a question he would shut down completely. Leia rested a hand on his stomach as she readjusted herself into his side.
"Did you talk to Chewie about tomorrow morning? He'll be ready when we send word?"
She had every confidence that Chewbacca would be well-prepared but talking Rebel business got them away from Academy memories and whatever that was dragging up for him.
"Clearance codes are good. He'll meet us at the warehouse as soon as we send the coordinates."
Leia's commlink buzzed. She hopped off the bunk, pulled Han's white shirt over her head, and found her pants. The commlink was still safely tucked inside the pocket. She read the message and looked back up at Han, shaking her head.
"Important?"
"Not at all." She crawled back on to the bunk and leaned up against the wall, tucking her legs under the covers. She kept her voice quiet. "Seems the Rogues may have heard a thing or two."
"What's Luke say?" He gave her a half-smile. "Did he recognize your distinctive squeal?"
She folded her legs under her, shoving him in the process.
"Your plan worked." She gave him a sly look. "They're wondering what you ordered for room service."
"They could probably order off-menu. Never know until they ask."
Leia stared at her commlink, trying to think of a reply.
She understood why Luke needed to search for information. Knew that it was about more than his father. He was trying to connect to his past and better understand who he is and where he was headed. He wanted to know more about the Force, the Jedi.
Her needs were much simpler, however far-fetched. Win the war. End the Empire. Restore a democratic government. Perhaps not so easy but something that could be laid out and discussed in logical terms. A quest that others could readily understand, even if they didn't agree.
Luke was bold. He'd stormed the halls of the Death Star to rescue a stranger. Led his squadron into numerous battles. Always put the Rebellion first. So why would he let a personal matter take precedent now? She recognized that no one was perfect. Everyone was allowed a lapse now and then. But couldn't he have saved it for a time when they weren't potentially trapped on a planet and trying to leave with two dozen ships?
"You could ignore it." Han smiled at her. Knew she was spinning out a bit. "You ignore my messages all the time."
"I ignore your messages designed to embarrass me in meetings."
The commlink beeped again.
"Now he's giving a play-by-play. Says they've gone quiet."
Han furrowed his brow. "Since when is Luke so interested in my sex life."
"I think he's trying to be chatty with me. Smooth things over after the disagreement."
"Look. I think the kid is, you know, a kid but he cares about the rebellion and finishing off Vader almost as much as you." Han took the commlink from her hand. "And he's not going to do anything that would put you in danger."
"We can't disappear whenever we like." She took the commlink back. "And no, I don't want to know what you get up to on runs."
She typed a message then put her commlink on the small shelf beside the bunk.
"Told him I'm busy and have no interest in who you may or may not be sleeping with."
Leia let her hand drop to his chest. She drew patterns on his torso, a single finger up and down his stomach, across his chest and back down again.
"Is that insulting me or you?"
He swept hair off her forehead. Tucked a strand behind her ear. It was hard not to be in constant contact. Touch her. Keep her close. Blurring the line where one stopped and the other began.
"It feels strange lying to Luke." She took his hand, lacing their fingers together, and held it against her chest. "Are we lying to Luke?"
"We're keeping things from him." He sat up. Tightened his grip on her hand. "Feels strange to me, too. Don't care about anyone else but it feels a bit like we're running around behind his back."
Leia sighed. "If we tell Luke then it's out there. Then what?"
Han pulled her hand closer, unlaced their fingers so he could kiss her palm.
"We don't have to tell Luke." He worked his way up her arm. As long as he had access to this, to her, it was good. "Got no problem sneaking around."
He moved slowly. Started at her shoulder. Kissed up her neck. Behind her ear. Nibbled on the lobe. He ran one hand up and down her arm and wrapped his other arm around her waist as she shivered into him.
They moved easily over each other. This time he was careful to register every inch, every touch, every connection. He leaned back and let her take over. It was their new understanding. She wanted him to take as much as he gave. She wanted to give as much as she took. He wanted her and didn't consider things much beyond that truth.
It was a strange thing to be so familiar with someone else's body, to know the sensitive areas, the moves that could drive them wild, and have it still feel new. She constantly amazed him. Her reactions to his touch. What she could do to him. It was hard to care about anything else as they let themselves meld into the other. He watched her climax, certain he would never tire of seeing it, enthralled how she always seemed to give him something different, and quickly lost himself in his own release.
She curled into his side as they caught their breath. Listening to the Rogues next door, beings passing in the hall, slowly becoming aware of the world around them again.
He lifted his head to look at her. "You hungry?"
Leia sat up as he slid off the bunk, tossing his shirt back to her. She pulled it over her head and leaned up against the wall again. She felt very loose-limbed, both heated and chilled. Knew her cheeks and neck, her chest, were rosy from exertion and friction.
She watched as Han ate from the food tray, assembled a plate for her. He was so comfortable in his body. It was more than his near-constant swagger. He was perfectly comfortable being naked. Easily moved about the Falcon, his cabin and 'fresher, without a concern. Leia didn't have the same sense of freedom. She felt the need to cover up, put on a shirt or pull the covers high, but didn't know if it was modesty or vulnerability or habit.
"Do you have to stand so close to the food?"
"Makes getting the food a lot easier." He popped a piece of fruit into his mouth.
"It's unhygienic."
Han's brow furrowed in a look of mock outrage.
"Unhygienic?" He pointed at his groin. "Your mouth was just there."
"Step back from the food or put underwear on."
"Fine." Han found his underwear in the pile of discarded clothes and pulled them on. "But only because I know how much you like taking them off."
He handed her a plate and leaned in to kiss her again.
"At your service, Your Highness."
She fed him a piece of fruit, watching closely as he bit into it. She was tempted to wriggle, maybe writhe, but kept still.
"I have to say, I don't remember service being quite so thorough when I lived in the palace."
He took the remaining half of the fruit into his mouth, licking her fingers in the process. They both smiled as he stepped back.
"Bet good help is always hard to find."
Leia let out a deep throaty laugh. She didn't know why she let so many days pass between their alone times. It was such a simple way to relax and recharge yet she inevitably let too many things get in the way. She would have to rectify that situation.
Han placed two bottles of ale on the small shelf and he was about to sit down again when he snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "Almost forgot."
He grabbed his bag and rooted through it, pulling out a small package wrapped in fabric.
"Got something for you."
She turned it over in her hands a few times, examining it from all sides.
"You wrapped it."
Han crawled back into the bunk. He leaned against the end, pulling the covers over both of their laps.
"Don't got a lot of experience but isn't that a thing? People wrap birthday presents?"
"It's not my birthday." She wasn't trying to be coy. She felt genuinely confused by this gesture.
"It is in a couple of weeks." His eyes had a bit of a sparkle. "I got runs coming up. We'll be planetside soon. Didn't know when I'd get the chance."
Leia felt a twinge, maybe sadness, because all that was true. They found each other around schedules. They met when they intersected. She turned the package over a few more times.
"Just open it, Leia."
She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her smile from going too wide. She removed the fabric to reveal a book. It was a used, slightly battered copy of Alderaanian poetry. The corners were a bit frayed and when she flipped it open the book splayed out like it had been read and well-loved by its previous owner.
"It's not a rare book or anything." He nudged her with his leg. He wanted her to believe it was no big deal. "Found it in a used book store."
Leia flipped through the pages. Someone, or many someones, had annotated the margins, underlined passages, offering commentary and questions throughout. She had studied these poems in school. Many were classics, things she could recite by heart, but it was new to read them through someone else's eyes. See what moved them. Her family's personal library in the palace had many poetry books, often first editions or signed copies. Her mother liked to spend many quiet hours in there, leafing through the editions kept in pristine conditions. This book was a cheap, mass produced copy but felt like the rarest of treasures. A connection to a lost world.
"You go to used bookstores?" She raised an eyebrow at him. She could picture him at a junk shop, rummaging through parts and tools, but books were a surprise.
"Yeah." He looked almost hurt. "I go into bookstores sometimes."
Somehow that seemed like more an admission than his mentioning bunks and the Academy. She immediately regretted her comment but it was already out there. She couldn't take it back and making too big a deal of it was more likely to set him off. It had been weeks since they hit that point, when he reacted in anger or walked off if anything felt too close, and she wanted that record to hold.
"What did you get Luke? For his birthday."
He regarded her for a few moments, holding her gaze, before a smile slowly formed.
"Haven't found that special something yet."
Leia had to drop his gaze, look back down at the book when she felt her cheeks redden. Things could turn so quickly between them. Even the parts that felt easy and natural made her feel slightly off-kilter. She was still adapting to this strange feeling of happiness that was popping up more and more.
She picked up the cloth the book was wrapped in and held it in front of her. It was an old t-shirt, worn dark fabric with a faded design in a language Leia didn't recognize.
"What does it say?"
"An energy drink." He didn't seem that interested in the t-shirt. He stayed focused on her. "Box of them got left behind after a cargo job. Used most of them as rags. Kept a couple, I guess."
Leia pulled Han's white shirt off. She shook it out then gently folded it before dropping it on to the floor. She pulled the t-shirt on then sat up on her knees to model it for him.
"Is this part of the gift?" She pulled on the hem so it stretched out. Turned so he could see her in the shirt from both sides. "Unless this says Luke to you now."
He looked at her with hooded eyes.
"Definitely not thinking about Luke right now."
She sat back down and picked up the plate. Tucked her legs to the side, facing him, and rested the plate on her lap. She was suddenly famished.
"So, we drop you all on Sullust." He reached over and took some bread and cheese before she devoured everything. "You gonna be there when Chewie and I get back from the run?"
She nodded as she continued to pick at the food.
"We're there until the temporary base is ready."
A temporary base could mean anywhere between two months and three years. They were actively scouting for a new more permanent and remote location but until then they needed a safe spot that also wasn't overcrowded. They didn't want a repeat of Osler.
He reached for more food and she pulled the plate away, scowling. He laughed and grabbed a piece of bread anyway.
Their conversation moved through plans for the new base and upcoming missions. Rebel gossip. The Rogues' ideas for the newly acquired fighters. Credits allocated for Alderaan refugees. She got more food and ate it all. He admired her in the t-shirt. She laughed at almost all of his dumb jokes. He ran a hand up and down her thigh. She tossed a piece and he caught it in his mouth. Talked until they realized all sounds from next door had ceased.
She checked the chrono on her commlink.
"I should probably go. It's late. Almost early."
"Yeah." He took the plate from her hand and carefully dropped it on the floor. "C'mhere. Lie down for a bit."
He slid further down on the bunk and held the covers up so she could nestle into his side.
"Okay." She draped a leg over his. Her arm over his torso. Her head rested on his bicep. "But only for a few minutes."
He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her forehead. "Sure."
It didn't take long for her breathing to sync with his.
His voice was low, close to a whisper. "Wanna walk me through it?"
"Through what?"
"The garden." He reached above them and hit the dimmer on the lights. "Your birthday route. You said you knew it off by heart."
She had told him about the botanical gardens months ago. That night on Osler when they celebrated winter solstice and she confessed her guilt about Alderaan. She couldn't remember why she talked about the gardens. Only that it had been so easy to let it out.
"You don't want to hear that." She nuzzled into him. "I'm sure it won't be of interest."
"I asked didn't I?" He rested his hand on her hip, his thumb drawing lazy circles under the t-shirt. "Never been to a botanical gardens before. You could tell me anything and I'd believe it."
She laughed. "That seems unlikely."
"Never know until you try."
Leia started at the garden gate. She described the bushes that stood on either side of the entranceway and the flowers that bloomed every spring. They were never there for her birthday but when she was small she liked to point out exactly where they would be. She wanted her parents to know she understood the garden's cycles. That she was aware of, and appreciated, it all.
She walked Han through the circuit. They followed the path to the right. Stopped at every tree. Smelled every flower and plant. She recited all the names for Han in Alderaanian and Basic. Drew a map on his torso. A finger traced a path through the garden, making small circles to indicate every stop. Marked an X at the bench beneath the olivstim tree where she asked her father to recount their engagement story and why he built the garden as a present.
"He always said, Others should know how much I love your mother. This garden pales in comparison but it, too, continues to grow and blossom with each new year."
She laughed when she saw Han give her the side-eye.
"Shut up. It's beautiful."
Both her parents had gentle senses of humour. Most people didn't expect it of them. It was easy to miss the jokes, the twinkle in their eyes. People expected kind. Compassionate. But funny surprised them. Leia knew that was everyone else's loss. She felt sorry for anyone who didn't know that about them. Who didn't know that joy.
"She always laughed. Never grew tired of hearing it."
Leia pressed her head against his chest as his fingers threaded through her braids.
"Every time, huh? Kinda lazy, don't you think?"
Leia pinched his side and he grabbed her hand and grumbled, Watch it.
Her stories started meandering off-course. She recounted other times in the garden. Slipping away from a ball to kiss a boy from Chandrila. Spending hours on the bench, studying. She wrote her first speech for the Senate there. Recited it to Dommin a dozen times. She practiced a dance routine from a music video that she never performed for anyone. Never admitted to anyone that she learned it until that moment.
Her fingers found a new route along his skin as she absent-mindedly followed his trail of scars. Along his lower torso, around his hip. They travelled around his sides and across his back. They were old, faded, and she knew nothing about their origins. Some looked like lashings. Others likely blaster shots. Some a result of fights followed by little or no access to bacta.
It was something she often did while they talked. Her fingers traced the scarred flesh, losing herself in his old wounds. It never seemed to bother him. He never acknowledged the scars or what she was doing and never stopped her. Never questioned why she found comfort in it. Let it be known that she had free reign over his body.
Leia did her best to not think about her own scars. Remnants of her time on the Death Star and her refusal to reveal the location of the Rebel base. She only revisited her torture in nightmares. Only when it was beyond her control. Then it surfaced as terror and pain. Anger was an emotion she could use but terror served no purpose.
Vader used needles, serums, to extract the truth but she had held strong. If she let her mind go there, she could still feel the needles hit her skin. She had been ashamed of her scars, the guilt she carried, until Han saw them. Held his palm against them. Pulled the poison out with his touch.
It took her a few minutes to realize he was asleep. She thought about getting up. She could be back in her room in a few minutes. But before she finished that thought she woke up to the sound of an alarm going off.
They had only spent a few nights together. Those occasional missions that put them on the Falcon together with no one else, other than Chewie, around. Neither of them were used to sharing a bed and she was often hyper aware of invading his space. His bunk on the Falcon was wide, big enough for two, but it was his. Even when she woke up tangled in his limbs, she tried to give him room. Gently extracted herself and wondered if it was rude to get up and make her own cup of kaffe.
She didn't feel the need to pull away here. She didn't want to separate or define the space between them. There was no space. No sense of where one ended and the other began.
He moved, slid lower on the bunk so he was pressed against her. His hand easily moving up her thigh, over her hip and to her breast. She wrapped a leg over his hips and rolled on to her back, pulling him on top of her.
It was instinct and need. Primal and innate. He was inside her before either had a fully conscious thought. Her heels against the back of his thighs. Her hands grasping his ass. The rush hit her like a wave. Ecstasy washed over her. She let out small gasps, groans, with every quick breath. He grunted a fuck, fuck, baby before coming and resting his head on her shoulder.
Leia gently nibbled on his ear lobe until he looked at her.
Her voice cracked. A groggy, early morning sound. "Did you set the alarm?"
"Yeah." He kissed her nose then chin. "Mission boss insisted on an early call time."
"Tyrant."
He smiled down on her. His face breaking out into a wide grin.
"Impossible."
Han kissed her one more time then dragged himself out of the bunk. He took a quick shower while she dressed. He dressed as she stacked the plates and collected the ale bottles. His hand occasionally going to her lower back as they moved around each other in the small space.
"All set?"
She nodded and picked up her book as Han checked the viewer on the door.
"For fuck's sake." He mumbled before opening it.
Luke stood across from the door, smiling and waiting.
Han stood tall, blocking Luke's view inside the room. "What are you doing here?"
"Is this a bad time?" Luke was playing the part of the innocent farm boy and Han wasn't falling for it.
"Kind of early, don't ya think?"
"Not for me." He sounded cheery. Peppy. Annoying. "Or Leia. We're both early risers."
Leia stepped around Han and waved her arm.
"Get in here." Her jaw was set with anger as she stared at Luke. "You're making a scene."
Luke walked in, still playing it casual. Han decided to step back. He propped himself against the back wall and watched the scene unfold.
"So what's going on, guys?" Luke put his hands behind his back. Rocked back and forth on his feet. "Anything new?"
Leia stood with arms crossed, glaring at Luke, while Han chuckled.
"Not new exactly."
"This is not for public consumption." She didn't bother looking at Han or acknowledging his comment. "I mean it, Luke. Not a word to anyone."
Luke stepped further into the room. He looked about to sit on the bed then changed his mind. Shrugged his shoulders at both of them.
"I don't know Leia. Think a lot of folk are going to think this is big news."
"I'm serious Luke." It was a mistake to let go of her anger earlier. She let him off too easily.
"So am I, Leia." He stood directly in front of her. It was a repeat of their standoff in the Rogues room. "This might be hard to keep under wraps."
She was coiled, ready to pounce, but suspected Luke had something else to add.
"However, if you were willing to look the other way with me slipping off to do my own research then I might be willing to keep this quiet." He looked between Han and Leia. "Maybe even help now and then with the subterfuge."
Han laughed. Luke was a lot better at this than he expected.
"Are you blackmailing me?"
"Of course not!" Luke tried for offended but couldn't hide his creeping smile. "I'm negotiating."
"I can't believe this." She threw her hands up. She looked over at Han. "You don't have anything to say?"
"Nah." Han was probably enjoying himself more than he should. "Wanna see how this plays out."
"Here's the deal." Luke put his hands on her shoulders. "If you can give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not going to do anything to tip of the Empire, at least more than the usual, then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you won't endanger missions to slip off with your boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend. We're choosing to not define it." She looked at Han. That's right, wasn't it? They hadn't discussed it. Had yet to use a label. He shrugged his response. "Also, I would never endanger a mission to slip off for anything."
"Neither would I." He squeezed her shoulders, gave her a slight shake. "I won't neglect my duties. The Rebellion comes first. Defeating Vader and the Emperor works right into my plan. Once they're gone, it's Jedi Order all the time."
Leia laughed. This whole exchange was throwing her off.
"Fine. But no disappearing. Tell me where you're going. If something goes wrong, we need to know where you are."
Luke nodded. Held out his hand and they shook on it.
"That was too easy." Han crossed his arms. He looked disappointed.
"You might be interested in what I found today." Luke gave her shoulder a gentle nudge.
They were back to conspiring again. Enjoying each other's company.
"I thought you didn't find anything."
"Your father was here a few times during the war with a Senator from Naboo."
"Who?"
"Redacted." He took a step back, sat on the edge of the table. "But I'm pretty sure her security detail were Jedi. I think one was Ben so maybe the other was Anakin."
"That feels more like a guess."
"Maybe we need a mission to Naboo." Luke smiled. "See if that Senator is still available."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't push it."
"Can't blame a guy for trying."
"Alright, Moon Jockeys, let's get going." Leia moved toward the door. "We're on a tight schedule."
"Hang on." Han pushed himself off the wall. "How'd you figure it out? With Leia and me."
"It wasn't exactly a surprise." Luke laughed. "I've been wondering for a while."
"There's wondering and there's lingering outside hotel rooms."
"The laugh sounded familiar." He looked at Leia. "And it went quiet whenever I sent a message."
That added up. And if Leia was being honest with herself, she was surprised it took Luke this long.
"The kicker was the alarm. Earlier than he needed for 0600 call. Meant someone who wanted that extra time was in the room. Took a chance it wasn't the front desk clerk."
Han nodded. "Not bad, Kid."
"Thanks. I guess." He clapped Han on the shoulder then moved to the door. "See you two in the lobby."
Before Leia could follow, Han had an arm around her waist. He pulled the front of her shirt and looked underneath.
"I knew it." His half-smile quickly turned into a leer. "You swiped the t-shirt."
Leia unwrapped his arm from her waist and moved away. She opened the door and stepped into the hall.
"You'll just have try to get it back later."
Han let his smile take over as he finished gathering up his things and headed out.