"Don't think we're going to get anything more out of him." Luke stood with hands on hips, facing the room. He looked tired and stressed. "He gave us a name but doubt it's real."
"And his death to the Princess mantra. Don't forget that part." Han paced the room. His hands alternated between landing on his hips and balling into fists at his sides. He didn't look stressed. He looked furious. Rage-filled. "This is why Chewie and I should've taken care of it."
[I'll get him to talk.]
"I don't want either of you going near him." Leia glared at Han and Chewbacca. "We'll contact High Command when we're off planet then deliver him to Madine."
"You expect me to take him on my ship?" Han pointed at his chest. He was leaning toward Leia although they weren't standing close. "Who knows what else he has planned."
"The Millennium Falcon is our only ride off Da'Sim. You were contracted to complete this mission and the mission has changed. Adapt."
"Still my ship, Sweetheart! And I'm telling you that it ain't a jail cell and that guy is dangerous."
They were standing in what was once a beauty salon. It was still set up for manicures and pedicures with large reclining chairs and foot basins but the room had been adapted as a reading library. The display cases, that once held product, were now lined with books. Leia had no idea where they found the books but the shelves were well-stocked.
"He has nothing with him." Cyn, the only one in the room sitting down, leaned back in her chair. "We've done a complete body scan and he's not carrying anything else."
"Further proof that I should be the one to interrogate him." Leia looked at Luke. Not Han. She knew how that would go. "It would throw him off if he had to face me."
"You've got to be fucking kidding!"
She held Luke's gaze and ignored Han.
"We all agreed that's a bad idea, Leia." Luke was being reasonable and firm but she could see the concern in his eyes. "We need a proper holding cell."
"I agree with Skywalker." Cyn stayed in her seat. "And Solo, for that matter. It's probably not safe for you to be in the same room as him."
"But we'll still put her on a small ship with him!"
"We've been through this, Captain." Leia was tired of repeating herself. "Let's move on from this topic."
Chewbacca roared and threw his arms up in the air. He left the room, almost knocking over one of the larger chairs in his swift exit.
Leia noticed Cyn's confused expression. "He's going to guard the prisoner."
She held her hands steady on her hips. She was rattled but refused to show it. Leia accepted the dangers of being a soldier at war. Even her life on Alderaan and Coruscant as a very public figure meant added precautions and security to ensure her safety. Threats on her life or attempted kidnappings were unfortunately common place for a princess. But an actual attack, lodged specifically at her, a direct and violent attempt on her life, was harder to push aside as commonplace.
So Leia kept her back straight, her hands occupied and hoped her voice would hold.
"We should connect with the Reverend and the others. Reassure them that everything is okay."
"Is everything okay?" Han started pacing again. "Cos I gotta say, doesn't feel okay to me."
Leia bit the inside of her cheek and tried to control her anger. "You aren't helping."
"Your idea of helping is pretend nothing happened and that's not gonna work for me." Han was practically mumbling, maybe talking more to himself than her.
"I'm their Princess. Alderaan may be gone but I'm still their de-facto leader and that means I need to lead by example." She tried to catch Han's eye. "They need to know this attempt has no bearing on my role or our work with the rebellion."
The Alderaan refugees on Da'Sim were at a religious retreat on Naboo when the Death Star struck. The Empire's official statement declared all surviving citizens safe if they pledged loyalty to the Emperor but the Rebels and their allies scrambled to get as many to safety as possible. Some went to safe houses or underground, or were embedded in communities. This group, one of the largest that managed to stay together, found solace in an abandoned health spa in the mountains of Da'Sim. The resort was owned by a family secretly supportive of the rebellion but Leia knew if the refugees were discovered the family would deny any knowledge of the occupation.
The resort used to be a getaway for the elite but went out of business a decade earlier when a new dam was built and a river diverted. All to the benefit of the local Grand Moff's cronies. The spa sat adjacent to a lake and that lake emptied out. The lush landscape dried up. The region, largely sustained by tourism, could no longer support its population. A great number left Da'Sim entirely looking for work and a new way of life.
Many of the buildings at the resort were in seemingly good condition. The Reverend and his group had spent a considerable amount of time fixing things up. Making it more than livable but a home. Generators kept the lights on and water running. They had planted a substantial garden and were able to live with some comfort. Leia ensured regular supply shipments arrived, sometimes delivered by the Falcon, and did their best to keep the communication channels open.
It was a last minute decision to come to Da'Sim. She had sent a number of holo-messages over the years but wanted to finally connect in person. The credits released by King Jahn meant she could do more. She brought the team of Luke, Cyn and Tycho because they had little time on planet and Leia wanted to give every refugee the opportunity to be heard. She might not be able to solve all their problems, clearly, but she had a fighting chance if she knew them.
The Rebels were on planet only an hour or so when they spotted him. Leia was meeting with Reverend Saunyoc and the small council. Han and Chewie were surveying the space, checking for bugs and anything unusual. Saunyoc insisted there was nothing. They were isolated and nothing suspicious had popped up on the monitors in months. It was Artoo, scanning the edges of the resort, that picked up a reading of a lifeform high in the trees.
Leia didn't know any of it had happened until they pulled her out of the meeting. The would be assassin was already in shackles and one of the Alderaanians was dressing his wounds. Apparently Han and Chewie acted quickly, surrounding the tree with Luke and Tycho taking the other sides. Han clipped the man with his blaster and Chewie grabbed him as he fell.
As soon as the man saw Leia he shouted. "Death to the Princess! Death to traitors!"
She didn't know how she managed it but she didn't flinch. She had faced worse. Darth Vader himself had tortured and interrogated her. This man wasn't going to phase her. Or, at least, he would never have the satisfaction of knowing his words or actions had any effect on her.
"We should question everyone here." Cyn sat forward. "Someone must know something."
"He didn't mention Alderaan specifically." Luke folded his arms over his chest. "But he was targeting you and at an Alderaanian refugee camp. It must be related."
Leia suspected the same thing but he didn't appear to be from Alderaan. He had a mid-rim accent. When she spoke to him in Alderaanian, he didn't understand. Didn't even seem to recognize it as Alderaanian. He could be a hired gun but would a mercenary spout such zealous rhetoric? He didn't have the eyes of a cold-bloodied killer but of a true believer.
"Saunyoc and the others seemed genuinely shocked and appalled." Leia had to calm members of council down they was so distraught. "We also need to keep in mind that no one here knew the supplies were arriving today or that I would be here."
"Doesn't mean they're not in on it." Han was radiating rage and frustration. He moved like a caged animal.
"Lt. Onorux, would you mind checking in with Reverend Saunyoc? We can't stay as long we'd hoped but let him know we would like to interview the residents."
Cyn stood up, gave Leia a quick nod. "Of course, Commander Organa."
The three of them watched Cyn walk out, give Artoo a quick tap on top of his dome, and close the door behind her.
Leia turned to Han. "Nothing happened."
"Cause Artoo figured it out!" He stepped closer to her. "Anything could've happened by the time Chewie and I got over there. What if you left the meeting early?"
She stepped closer and put a hand on his waist. "I'm fine."
His hand went to side of her head. Thumb caressing her cheek. Jaw clenched as he looked down on her, his eyes searching her face.
"I'm fine. Really." Her other hand took hold of his wrist as she held his hand in place. "It's all part of the job."
He shook his head without breaking gaze with her. Moved his hand so his fingers threaded into her hair.
She spoke just above a whisper but soft and clear.
"We have protocols and we caught it in time. That's what is important."
She knew he was holding back. He wanted to yell. Swear. Maybe carry her out of this room and on to the Falcon. Probably shoot their prisoner. He was torn between supporting her and burning this entire resort to the ground.
Leia thought he might kiss her but instead looked over his shoulder at Luke. Luke had his head down, politely avoiding the scene. She felt Han stiffen as he turned back to her. His thumb returned to stroking her cheek, his expression was almost pained. She wanted him to say something. Anything. A quiet Han only made her worry about what came next. She didn't know how to predict quiet Han.
She and Luke turned as Artoo started beeping. Han kept his eyes on her.
"Someone's coming."
Leia nodded at Luke and quickly stepped back. She saw Han's hand drop as she moved quickly to Luke's side of the room. It was a routine the three of them had perfected. She and Luke stuck to their deal but it wasn't exactly even distribution. She looked the other way when Luke slipped away in search of information, had even come to support his pursuit, but that happened rarely. She and Han were a constant consideration.
Cyn opened the door and looked at Leia.
"The Reverend said they have everyone in the dining room. He's already told them to prepare for questioning."
Leia nodded a few times. "Thank you, Lieutenant."
Her instincts told her Saunyoc was not involved. No one she had encountered on Da'Sim felt suspicious. There was division among the diaspora, some laying blame on Leia and Bail for Alderaan's destruction, but this group supported the rebellion. Saunyoc was loyal before the Death Star.
"Shall we?" Cyn stepped back through door, holding it open. They followed her out.
Leia stopped and turned back to Han. He was looking down, one hand on the back of his neck, the other on his hip.
"Are you coming?"
He lifted his head. She expected the look that could see right through her. The one that said he knew everything was piling up too high around her but she'd get through it. That look used to irritate her—how dare he think he knew more—but lately it bought comfort. She didn't have to talk if she didn't want because he knew. If she wanted comfort or distraction, he was there.
But she didn't know this one. Not intimately. He looked almost lost, searching. Questioning. Like she was supposed to have an answer to something he hadn't asked.
"Yeah." He didn't sound very convinced but followed her out of the room.
They entered the dining room as Saunyoc was finishing his speech. Calling for calm and kindness. A reminder that they lived in peace though the galaxy was at war. They couldn't always keep the war at a distance. It was a part of their lives, too.
He was in his mid-sixties and reminded Leia of so many people now lost. He wore traditional Alderaanian robes. His grey hair and beard were neatly trimmed.
There were close to fifty Alderaanians living at the resort. They came from all over the planet, mostly wealthy families who could afford the two week retreat. The Reverend and a Nabooian priest had run them for years, alternating between planets. These retreats offered opportunities for meditation and reflection, long discussions about spirituality and responsibilities, and to learn about the others' religion and culture. After the disaster, some chose to stay in hiding on Naboo. A few joined the Rebellion. Most chose to remain as a group and move forward together.
"Your Highness." Saunyoc gave a small bow as he welcomed her to the front of the room. "We know you don't have much time. Everyone is prepared to answer questions. We are all anxious to learn who this man is and if we can help. It is heart breaking that it happened here."
They brought Tycho back from prisoner watch and he, Luke and Cyn worked their way through the room. They interviewed the Alderaanians in small groups, asking about the assassination attempt, what they knew, and if they observed anything out of the ordinary. They also included their original questions about what they might need.
Leia tried to assist but it was too distracting having their princess in such close contact. They were deferential, in awe. They wanted to talk about the time they saw her as a child at an event. The audience they had with her mother. How much they admired and missed Queen Breha. Instead, she and Reverend Saunyoc worked at their own pace. He introduced her to everyone and she gave them her undivided attention, even if it was only for a few minutes.
Han went off to prepare the Falcon for prisoner transport. He would never be able to interview anyone without also accusing them. His anger was too close to the surface. It was better to give him that distance but she worried now that he wasn't in her sights. It wasn't that she thought he would do something idiotic, though she probably should be concerned since he was certainly capable of it, but she didn't know if he was alright. She was worried about him.
"This is Liliana." Saunyoc reached out to brush the baby's cheek. Her mother smiled shyly at the Reverend and Leia. "Our newest member of the colony. And her mother, Dyanna."
Dyanna looked about Leia's age, though Leia wasn't sure what that meant anymore. She usually felt twice her age, thought perhaps she had lived several lifetimes already. Lilianna looked younger than a year. Most likely. She still looked very baby-like so it was Leia's best guess.
"It's an honour to meet you, Your Highness." Dyanna curtsied. Liliana's hand took hold of Leia's sleeve, tried to pull it closer to her mouth. Dyanna was quick to pull her daughter's hand back. "I'm so sorry, Princess."
"Please don't worry." Leia tried to keep her voice light. Or at least not obviously confused about what to do next. "Would Liliana let me hold her?"
Dyanna passed Liliana over and Leia rested the baby on her hip.
Breha had been so good at this sort of thing. She wanted to hold every baby. Knelt down to talk to every child. For Leia, even when she was a child, it was a challenge. It didn't come naturally to her. Babies were unpredictable. Her diplomatic training didn't help when the crying started.
"We named her after my grandmother. She was lost in the Disaster."
"It's a beautiful name."
Liliana grasped a loose strand of Leia's hair. Leia held the tiny hand, trying to prevent her hair from going in the baby's mouth.
"That won't taste very good."
Liliana held on. Leia didn't know babies could be so strong.
"Oh, she does that." Deanna gave a nervous laugh. "Puts everything in her mouth. Keeping my hair in braids comes in handy."
Leia laughed. "I should have better prepared myself. Checked my braids before taking on Liliana." She smiled at the little girl. Felt the tug on her hair. "Though I imagine there's no stopping you. You look pretty determined."
Leia was surprised by Liliana's smile and quick laugh. She wasn't sure how she elicited such a reaction but it was nice.
Dyanna held out her arms and Liliana practically fell toward her. Leia moved quickly to hold on, a moment of panic that she had dropped the baby, but her mother had her.
"There's my little princess!" Dyanna pressed her nose against Liliana's. "Are you my little princess?"
The baby laughed, putting her chubby hands on her mother's face, as Dyanna kissed her nose.
Dyanna looked up at Leia, a quick blush coming to her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Your Highness. I didn't mean any disrespect."
Leia felt a moment of embarrassment. She was enjoying this scene, this moment of happiness, but felt suddenly like an interloper. Dyanna was interacting with her daughter and Leia's presence had made her feel self-conscious.
"Again, there's nothing to apologize for." She put her hand on the baby's back. "I'm glad we had the chance to meet."
Leia stepped away, moving to the next group of people, hoping it all looked perfectly natural.
Luke and the others were moving among the people, datapads in hand, asking questions and listening, taking notes. She made sure to talk to her team as they moved between interviews, picking up any new information they may have discovered. Leia was glad she decided to bring Cyn. The lieutenant had a calm, thoughtful presence about her. She wasn't easily rattled and seemed more practical than overly emotional. Not cold but reasoned. The more time Leia spent with Cyn, the more she admired her.
Their new base on Collahe was small, made of mostly pre-fab structures tucked into the edge of a forest. It was considered a temporary base and they had to make do with the space. The communal freshers were small. They were assigned meal times since the mess couldn't accommodate everyone. Leia brought Cyn on to help with base operations and she quickly came to rely on the lieutenant's judgment. The bonus for Leia was that she also enjoyed these interactions. They tended to focus on the professional but they were inching toward friendly.
Han walked into the dining room, didn't look for or acknowledge her, and pulled Luke aside. They had a brief conversation with Han leaning in, looking a mix of frustrated and angry, and Luke mostly nodding in return. He left again without looking her way.
It wasn't unusual. They were still playing the same game of sneaking around. No sleep overs on base and only Luke was the wiser. They were her rules but he kept them. It was odd that they hadn't discussed their relationship past those first few times, though. Well, odd for her. They had fallen into an easy pattern and neither seemed willing to shake it up too much.
The closest they came, one of those afternoons when they lingered on his bunk, letting fingers intertwine and limbs tangle, was Leia commenting on how much he talked. That he used to talk more.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Sure you're thinking of me, Sweetheart?"
"I mean during sex." She put a hand on his chest. "You used to say more."
Those first few weeks, before they imploded, he had been more vocal. Freely saying what he liked and wanted. It had scared her then. She wasn't sure what it meant or how she should respond but it was also intoxicating. And now that he wasn't saying anything, she missed it. Since getting back together it only happened a few times and he sometimes seemed skittish afterward, like he needed to check around corners for danger.
His eyes got dark for a second or two then he turned to look up at the ceiling. He was silent for so long she thought the conversation, such as it was, was over. Then he turned to look at her again.
"You don't think I show you?"
Leia took a beat. Tried to assess his mood. His intent.
"You do."
"Then we're good."
He got out of the bunk and got dressed. He didn't seem angry so much as determined. Like there was some place else he needed to be and quickly. She was almost surprised when he leaned over her to kiss her forehead before leaving the cabin.
"Could I interest you in tea?" Reverend Saunyoc held his hands clasped in front of him. The folds of his robe seemed perfectly placed, pressed. The move reminded her of her father. "We could talk as your people finish up their work."
She followed him into a side room that was likely used for private dining when the resort was operational. A window looking out on a small garden took up most of one wall. The garden was green, full of flowers and plants again, thanks to the colonists.
Saunyoc's aide stood by the table where the tea and plates of small pastries were set out. Alderaanian sweets and savory crackers.
"This looks lovely." Leia sat on a small couch. "Thank you for this. You have so many touches of home."
Leia wasn't sure she liked this many reminders all at once but it wasn't her place to comment or judge.
"We've tried." Saunyoc smoothed his robes behind him and sat down in a chair opposite her. "Many things are an approximation. You'll notice these aren't traditional Alderberry tarts but we've all had to adapt."
That could easily have been taken as a trite and privileged thing to say considering the suffering others faced but Leia knew what he meant. Alderaan was gone and they had to find ways to retain the old ways as best they could.
"I think you've done far more than adapt. This community appears to be thriving."
"I wouldn't want to misrepresent our experience entirely." He nodded thanks to his aide as she poured tea into two cups. "I'm sure your interviews will reveal the many hardships we've encountered. The challenges that plague any community and certainly one dealing with tremendous grief."
She put one of the tarts on a small plate. She didn't think she'd be able to eat it but it was polite to take one.
"Have you learned anything new?" He leaned back in his chair, resting his arms on sides. "From the prisoner or any of the colonists? Perhaps someone saw something."
"The only thing we've determined about the prisoner is that he isn't from Alderaan. After that, we are still at a loss."
"Do you think he could be associated with Alderaanians?" The Reverend sounded surprised. "I know the diaspora is divided. We are removed but aware. Still, it feels drastic that one of our own would be involved."
"It's possible." She sipped her tea. It was still a bit hot but also soothing. "In fact, it's quite possible. Some are quite vocal about their opposition to me as a leader, and Alderaan's involvement in the Rebellion. They firmly believe the Disaster happened because my parents and I were involved. Me, in particular."
"I find it all quite appalling." His voice was somehow both gentle and scolding. The Reverend and Bail had a lot in common. "We certainly don't need more division at this point."
"I understand their position more than you might think." Leia gave a light laugh. This conversation was funny but she needed to relieves some of her stress. "I don't waver in my conviction that we are right to fight this war but I do consider all our actions that brought us to this place. I wonder what we could have done differently."
"Reflection is important but it should move us forward not trap us in the past." He smiled. "We can learn from all our experiences and that will shape all our futures."
"You're drawing a distinction between reflection and dwelling."
"The Disaster isn't something we can leave behind. Everyone here has suffered through nightmares, fought depression and anxiety, will always be working our way through grief. The guilt of surviving. The fear of it happening again."
"But you feel like you are moving forward."
"We are continuing to live. I'm not sure if it is forward or not. That is not for me to decide." He smiled at Leia. "Most of us are not fighters but it is our act of defiance. We are choosing to live."
"I feel like that casts judgments on those who can't go on."
"I am speaking to our choices. Not anyone else's."
Leia and Saunyoc turned at the sound of knocking to see Luke standing in the doorway.
"Am I interrupting?"
"Of course not, Commander." Saunyoc stood to greet him. "Would you like tea?"
"Sure." He sat on the couch beside Leia. "That would be great."
Luke immediately reached for one of the pastries and popped it into his mouth.
"Have you finished with the interviews?"
He pointed to his mouth while he finished chewing then nodded. Leia laughed. When the first met, Luke was prone to talking with his mouth full, enthusiastically talking and gesturing as he ate. He had worked at curbing that instinct but still couldn't resist the quick allure of free food.
Luke swallowed.
"Cyn and Tycho are finishing up. Han's got one of the holds ready for the prisoner." He turned to the Reverend. "He's wondering if you have anything we can use as extra binders. He's trying to prepare for any scenario."
"I'm sure we can find something." Saunyoc handed Luke his tea. "We have a good inventory of items that were left here."
He looked to his aide. "Would mind helping Captain Solo?"
She nodded, Of course, and left the room.
"We should check your lists before we leave." Leia watched Luke go for another pastry. "We'll send back another supply ship soon. A portion of the money released by King Jahn is allocated for refugees so we want to ensure you get what you need."
"I'm still unclear why the House of Organa reserve is being kept from you." Saunyoc straightened in his chair. "It feels like an abuse of Elder House power."
"There weren't rules in place for what happens when an Elder House all but disappears. King Jahn is the senior Elder House member so he's been given power."
"Would it help if we, all the colonists, wrote to him? We could reinforce our position and support of the Rebellion."
Leia noted that the Reverend referred to those here as colonists, not refugees.
"I'm sure that wouldn't hurt." Leia almost shrugged. This conversation seemed as impossible as always. "Chancellor Mothma is in contact with him. Keeping the lines of communication open."
"Wouldn't it make more sense for you to connect with King Jahn?"
Leia maintained her neutral expression. Discussing the Organa fund question had always been complicated and was more so now.
Being forthright, saying Jahn's chief advisor was trying to marry her off to his son in exchange for access to the money, was too revealing. Admitting that Lord Pynterra was already feeling put out since Jahn gave them credits without consulting him wouldn't help in the long run. When she and Mon met with King Jahn the morning after the commemoration on Home One, it was very clear that Lord Pynterra had no idea about Jahn's plan. Myka, bless his heart, was happy for Leia. The Lord looked like he might throw something.
She warned Mon before they went in. Relayed her conversation with Pynterra, trying to act like it was something that might be offered in any negotiation. Mon, surprisingly, was less diplomatic. She took charge, insisting that Leia's involvement should be limited. She didn't want to imply in any fashion that Leia was a part of the deal.
"I am involved, certainly with regards to the diaspora. But Chancellor Mothma feels she should conduct this type of Alliance business."
"I have always admired her work as a politician." He sipped his tea. "I suppose I should extend that admiration to all her work. I do worry what might happen after King Jahn, though. Assuming this war continues for some time."
"He's pretty old." Luke was about to reach for yet another tart but decided to pick up his tea instead.
"The next senior member would take charge." She gave Luke the side-eye.
"Do you know them? Maybe they'd be more open to it. To letting you have the funds." Luke held up a hand in defense when he saw Leia's look. "I'm not hoping he'll die! Just wondering what happens when he does."
Leia did know this answer because she had considered it many times.
"Control would go to Queen Leontina on Knesst. And, unfortunately, I doubt I would have any influence. Knesst has a reputation for being somewhat isolationist and we've had almost no dealings with Leontina. My parents were friendly with a member of her house, Alistar Greemar, but he left Knesst many years ago. Severed most ties when he moved to Chandrila. He even gave up his title."
"But maybe he could do something. If he was close to your parents. And he's living on Mothma's home planet. He might be willing to reach out if it came to that."
Leia shook her head. "He died last year."
Myka had filled her in on news about many of her parents former acquaintances and friends. She'd been sad to hear about Greemar. She didn't know him well but Breha was friendly with his wife, widow now, Chrystin. Myka didn't have any updates on her but Leia presumed she was still living on Chandrila. There were two daughters slightly older than Leia and whenever she and Breha visited they always found a house filled with cousins and friends. Leia enjoyed the time she spent there and always felt a twinge of envy of the large, boisterous family.
"Okay, then." Luke nodded a few times, looking serious. "Guess that means we need to win soon."
Leia laughed and squeezed Luke's hand. Everyone needed a Luke Skywalker on their side.
"I appreciate your attitude, Commander Skywalker." Reverend Saunyoc smiled. "That gives me every confidence in the outcome."
Reverend Saunyoc asked Luke questions, largely about Tatooine and his time in the Rebellion, and Leia let her mind turn to other things. She didn't like being so removed from the action. The prisoner. The interviews. Preparing for transport. She had brushed off Han's concerns about traveling on the Falcon with a man who tried to kill her, who seemed Hellbent on making it happen, but it was troubling.
She wanted to go over the details with Han. He would argue with her and as annoying as that could be it also helped her review from all angles. Defending her ideas so thoroughly meant she felt confident wherever she landed. It could be a frustrating relationship but also strangely compatible.
She still wasn't certain how to describe them. She trusted him, they trusted each other, and she relied on him for so much more than easy sex and skilled flying to get them out of bad situations. He had become her confidante, even talking occasionally about her nightmares. Somehow this arrogant moon jockey could read her signals and knew if she needed him to hold her anger, wipe away a tear or go down on her.
They had a new ritual most nights when they were both on base. Even if they had spent the evening together, usually with others since it was harder to slip away when everyone was off-duty and looking for distraction, they found each other on comms.
Sometimes he was still working on repairs, resting his commlink on the side of the maintenance pit or workstation. She was often still at the small desk in her quarters, typing away at her datapad and occasionally glancing at his blue light image working on the Falcon. It wasn't unusual for them to let silence take over, dropping a few comments here and there but mostly finding comfort in the other's projected holo-image.
Lately, she had developed the habit of crawling into her bunk while they talked. Sometimes fell asleep to the sound of his voice. It seemed like something a teenager might do though it didn't describe her adolescence. Not with Dommin or Saiira or anyone in between. On those nights when a holo-call wasn't available, if he was on a run or they were on mission with anyone else and there was no way to find that privacy, she missed it.
But this didn't mean she had a grasp on what was happening between them. They still fought about surprisingly small things, like whether or not the Rebels should stock powered blue milk, and things she thought might be welcomed actually elicited the strangest reactions.
He often brought her back things from his supply runs. That started when they began sleeping together but happened more frequently since. It wasn't easy for Leia to return the favor because she was rarely off base without him or anywhere she could find a gift. When she located a part for the Falcon when on Delchino she was excited. Thought he would be happy to receive it. Instead he reacted with confusion and anger.
"I don't get it." He stared at the box on the games table. "Where did this come from?"
"From me." She laughed. Pushed the box closer to him. "I checked with Luke. He said it's the channel switcher original to this model."
"I didn't ask you to get me anything."
"It's a gift. I know you're familiar with the concept."
He lifted it out of the box and turned it over in his hands. The seller had promised Leia it had barely been used.
"I can pay you back."
"That's not how gifts work."
He was struggling. She saw his brow furrow and eyes darken.
"I don't need your charity!"
"It's a gift!" What the hell was wrong with him? "Was I supposed to pay you back for that book of poetry?"
"Just tell me what I owe you." He put it back into the box. Gently, she noticed. "I got enough debts already."
"You don't owe me anything. It's. A. Gift. I thought you would like it but it seems I was mistaken."
"I don't do gifts." Hands went on hips. "Save it for one of you palace boys. Or Luke."
"Fine!" This had turned out to be no fun at all. "I paid 800."
"800! Are you crazy? This isn't worth 800!"
Why did she even bother? Why spend the time thinking about something he might want. Locating it. Buying it. All so he could accuse her of what exactly she didn't know but it was annoying! If gifts were all about the joy of giving, he was definitely making a mess of it.
"I'm done with this!" She turned to leave. "Keep it, don't keep it. I don't care."
She was halfway down the ramp when she heard him shout.
"I'm taking it off your next bill!"
He didn't subtract the price off the next contract but he also didn't bring up the subject again. Leia wasn't sure how she had overstepped but it did make her wary about where these imaginary lines might lay.
She also did noticed that new switcher was installed.
"That's how the Force was explained to me." Luke sat forward. He was getting excited about the conversation with the Reverend. "That it surrounds us. We move through it. It moves through us."
"I am not an expert on the Force or its usage," Saunyoc said. "And it's been difficult to have an open conversation about it for more than twenty years now. However, I agree that we are talking about similar things."
Luke looked at her and smiled. "Leia isn't so sure. How much the Force, or any other factor, has an influence on our lives."
"I certainly don't believe in fate or destiny if that's what you're driving at."
"Nor do I, Your Highness." Saunyoc leaned forward. "I do believe in the mysterious, though. The unexplainable. The unexpected."
"I think I've had enough unexpected to last several lifetimes." She could have easily followed that statement with a scoff or eyeroll but restrained herself.
"Understood, Your Highness." Saunyoc gave a small nod as acknowledgement. "I don't mean to sound flip. I do understand. All of us here on Da'Sim do."
"I hope you didn't think…"
He held a hand up. "Of course, Your Highness. We are in full agreement."
"Don't you believe in Gods and Goddesses?" Luke asked. "Isn't that a part of being a reverend?"
"I believe in a higher power but they don't let me in on any plans they might have."
Luke gave an almost solemn nod.
"I will admit that since the Disaster, I've had some trouble deciding what I believe." Leia found it hard to think about the goddesses since her mother die. "I was raised in the Alderaanian religion, of course, but I've found little solace in it of late."
"It might surprise you that many here, despite being at a retreat when the Disaster struck and still spending a considerable amount of time meditating and in reflection, have lost faith in those old ways."
Leia wasn't at all surprised.
"We are all processing our new world, our place in the galaxy, differently. Some feel it is significant that we were on Naboo not Alderaan. The timing of our trip changed many times so they need to apply meaning to how it worked out. Perhaps we were spared for a reason. Others need to believe it is a series of random events that culminate in any given result and there is no firm reasoning behind it. They don't want to consider why they lived and those they love did not."
"I would disagree with the phrase, series of random events. These were deliberate acts. The Empire's actions are intentional. The Rebellion's response is planned and organized."
"Most here are trying to weigh their actions, having an impact, and admitting they have only so much control. We are learning to accept the unexpected when it happens."
"That sounds like giving up." Luke was listening intently. "Like there's no reason to act or react. Just accept what you've been given and move on."
"That may be the answer at times." The Reverend leaned forward, matched Luke's stance. "But you are only considering the bad. Sometimes the incomprehensible, the extraordinary, brings something good."
"Yeah, I see what you mean. I lost my aunt and uncle, my mentor, but I found Han and Leia."
"You're talking about coincidences." She looked between the two of them. If Han were here he would set them straight. Perhaps more harshly than needed but a voice of dissent would help. "I think it's important we found each other but it could just as easily be our mutual interest in stopping the Empire."
Or making money from stopping the Empire.
"I don't have the answers." Saunyoc sat back again. "Despite these robes and title. These questions are for each of us to ponder and to draw our own conclusions."
She nodded. She didn't necessarily agree but it also didn't seem worth arguing.
"Perhaps it is naïve of me. We live in sheltered and isolated life here. We've come to rely on each other in new ways. We've all learned new skills to survive. Hopefully thrive. It turns out I have a knack for farming. Something I never would have discovered on Alderaan. There is a naïve optimism in that but it's something I've needed to survive."
"Funny." Luke looked at Leia. "I don't think I ever want to farm again."
"Are you saying we should make the best of a bad situation?" She felt her anger rising. Leia kept her breathing in check, tried to keep her mask in place, but suspected her eyes gave her away.
"We have tried to make the best of this situation." Saunyoc was speaking slowly, as though trying to maintain the calm in a potentially volatile situation. "Some of us have found a degree of comfort and perhaps even happiness. All of us struggle. We try to support each other when and as needed."
"I'm not sure how the destruction of Alderaan could be perceived as a spring board for anything good."
She didn't need or want this kind of philosophizing. It was dismissive of everyone who died. Everything and everyone sacrificed since.
"You misunderstand me. Or perhaps I wasn't clear." He clasped his hands over his stomach. He was presenting himself as non-threatening. Reserved. "We are reeling from the Disaster but everything that comes our way isn't related to the Disaster. Though it is hard to view anything through a different lens."
Hope was a different lens. She peddled hope to every Rebel and potential supporter who came her way but wasn't sure how much she held for herself.
"But I have come to believe that every being's actions, intentional or casual, affect others in extraordinary ways. We might never see the connections, most likely the chain is too long, but we are faced with the unexpected at times and how we choose to react determines everything that follows."
"So, not destiny."
"We always have a choice. A path to take or avoid." He picked up his tea again. "You can call it a coincidence, the Force, a miracle. The name doesn't matter. How you choose to receive it, how you choose to act, is the important piece."
"For good things and bad."
He nodded at Luke. "For good things and bad."
His aide appeared in the doorway, clearing her throat to get their attention.
"Lt. Celchu said they've finished with the interviews."
"Thank you." Saunyoc stood up. "I suppose we should prepare for your departure. Are you sure we can't stay for dinner?"
"We should get him to a secure location." Luke grabbed another tart, maybe thinking she wouldn't notice. "They'll want to interrogate him more."
Leia lead the way out and the others followed. She felt the need to distance herself from the Reverend and the circular conversation. It was easy if she stayed focused on winning the war. Not easier to win the war but at least she knew what to do and what was expected of her.
She worked the dining room in the opposite direction, saying a quick goodbye and thank you to those still gathered. She was a bit disappointed that Dyanna and her daughter had left but Leia made a mental note to check on them at a later date.
Han was standing by the Falcon's ramp. He watched her approach, looking less angry but just as serious.
"Ready?"
"We are."
"Wait out here until we have him in. Keep your distance."
"Of course."
"C'mon, Celchu. Let's get the bastard." Han stepped away and called over his shoulder. "Luke, you watch the Princess. Might still be someone else around here."
She thought about yelling after him that he was hired as pilot not security but refrained. That would have been decidedly bad form, especially since Luke moved to a better vantage point.
"How are you?" Cyn kept her voice low even though they were well-distanced from everyone else. "The visit didn't go exactly as planned."
"Well, not my plan at least."
"Fair."
Leia bit the inside of her cheek to contain her smile. It was definitely a good idea to bring Cyn.
"How were your interviews?"
"I heard a lot about what people needed and what they wanted to happen." Cyn looked at the small group gathered to see them off. "Overall, this is a loyal bunch. Devoted to you and your parents. Support the rebellion despite their pacifism."
"It's a contradiction that makes some sense under the circumstances."
She saw it in her parents. She experienced it herself as she came to realize rebellion was their only option. She could understand the need to encourage and espouse pacifism but couldn't condone standing on the sidelines when so many suffered.
"But no one I talked to knew anything about the assassination attempt. Claimed to not know the man. Had no idea how he got here or how long he was around." Cyn looked at Leia. "If they were lying, they did a good job of it."
Leia sighed. "Someone knew I was coming here. Someone talked."
"I talked to Wedge about it." Cyn tugged the strap of her bag over her shoulder. "But he already knew."
"Ah." Leia tried not to look too surprised or curious.
It had become a bit of a game on base, guessing whether or not Wedge and Cyn were together. It wasn't any of Leia's concern, especially since neither were negligent in their duties, but she was grateful that their back and forth kept most eyes away from her and Han.
"It's okay." Cyn laughed. "It's not gossip if I say it."
Chewbacca roared as the door to the main building opened. Tycho stepped out first, followed by the prisoner then Han and Chewie. As soon as he saw Leia, the prisoner started shouting. Calling for her demise. Promised that there were others. She would pay for her betrayals and deceit.
She estimated he was in his mid-to-late twenties. His dark hair was cut short and well-maintained. His clothes were new but damaged now thanks to his capture in the forest. He looked like someone who was well-cared for.
She stood perfectly still, arms crossed over chest, and refused to avert her gaze. When he spit in her direction, she didn't flinch.
Leia gave her final goodbye to Reverend Saunyoc while she waited for confirmation she could board. It took a few moments for her to notice Han standing at the bottom of the ramp. He nodded back toward the ship, telling her it was time to go. When he went back inside, she followed.
The Rogues didn't stop talking. Ever. It was mostly Janson who kept the running monologue going with the others chiming in. Something about something that was going to happen next time they landed on Sullust. None of it really registered with him.
Han almost regretted inviting them on board but it was a good distraction. White noise while he worked on the environmental system. Kept him from focusing too much on Leia. It wasn't really working but it was better than nothing.
"I could do it."
Janson sound excited. That was never a good sign.
"Bet I could go four high."
"No broken necks on my ship!" Han was on a ladder, his upper body tucked high into the ducts. He couldn't see what was happening but he didn't need to. "Go back to Rebel property if you're gonna be an idiot."
He heard crates being moved and Wedge laughing. Han was about to shout again when he heard her.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting to see if Wes manages to kill or maim himself."
Han didn't look but knew by the sound of Luke's voice he was jumping off his crate to welcome Leia. Probably hug her.
"Are there odds on which one happens?"
"'Bout fifty-fifty." Luke sounded perky, happy to see her. "Haven't seen you since we landed. Have you been in meetings this entire time?"
"Essentially."
Han looked down to see Leia at the base of the ladder looking up at him.
"Is this a good time to rip the Falcon apart? Will she still fly?"
"Isn't that always the question, Your Highness?"
She glanced in Wedge's direction and laughed.
It was good to see her relaxed. Or at least enjoying herself. Their trip back from Da'Sim was tense. He was on edge, angry. She was pretending her datapad held all the answers but couldn't stop looking toward the forward hold where they had the guy locked down.
"What the hell do you expect?" Han stepped down. "Haven't got a lot of scheduling updates lately."
She looked at him, narrowed her eyes slightly. She was clearly giving him a quick assessment but she looked more curious than concerned.
They hadn't spoken since landing on Home One. They'd seen each other at a couple briefings. He gave her the signal, tap to his chest, but that was it. She looked tired. He knew she wasn't sleeping. He felt pissed that he couldn't kick everyone out to comfort her. Regretted he didn't try harder to find her and let it get to this point.
But she could've come looking for him. Those were her rules.
Then he was pissed that he followed the rules. Since when did he follow rules? He needed to get a grip on this one.
"What's the news?" Luke crossed his arms. "Did you learn anything more about him?"
Leia's expression changed. She lost the sunniness at seeing the Rogues messing around, the respite from all her stressors, and regained that serious Leia look.
"He didn't provide more information. Only repeated the same things over and over."
Han didn't have to imagine what was said. The guy didn't stop spouting off the same shit the entire flight back to Home One. It was a steady stream of death to the princess and death to traitors. Every now and then he called her a blight on the House of Organa. There were a lot of things about the situation that got to Han but a big one was how much this guy seemed to be enjoying himself.
"Madine was able to track down some information on him but, so far, we don't have much to go on."
She stayed close to his side. He continued wiping his hands on a rag without really looking at her.
"But it's a start?" Luke sounded hopeful.
"It's a start."
"Hey, are you going to use this old fusebox?" Hobbie help up the small metal casing. Han wondered where he'd picked it up.
"We use everything." Han tucked the rag into his back pocket.
"And he wonders why we call it a 'hunk of junk'."
Antilles was being a real comedian tonight.
"I could pay you for it." Hobbie wasn't ready to put the part down yet.
"You got money?"
"I could trade something for it."
"What you got to trade?"
While Hobbie thought that one over, Janson tried to get back to his dare. Han still wasn't paying much attention, figured it didn't matter until Janson actually tried something. Leia leaned up against the crate beside Luke, laughing here and there. She looked relieved to have the distraction. Luke dropped an arm over her shoulder as they all talked.
Han appreciated Luke's help so he and Leia could sneak around. Showed up at the Falcon at odd hours so he could escort her off and it would look like they had all been together. Sometimes he came up with a quick lie if someone was looking for Leia or she was unaccounted for. An all-around pal.
But Han wasn't entirely sure the kid wasn't playing it to his advantage. He and Leia had always been affectionate with each. This arm over the shoulder thing while everyone talked. Hugs hello and goodbye. Lots of elbow nudges and sitting close and cozy on the bench. All those things that were off the table with Han and Leia. He hadn't been keeping track, exactly, but wondered if Luke was getting in a few more these days.
"What are you doing?" She cocked her head to look at him. Nodded toward the hole in the ceiling. "Fixing or maintenance."
"Just making sure the princess gets all the comfort she deserves."
"Like breathing?" She gave him a slow smile. "And people say you aren't a gentlemen."
"Sweetheart, pretty sure no one says I'm a gentleman."
She laughed and turned back to the Rogues.
Han put away tools as he half-listened to their conversation, mostly focusing on the sound of her laugh whenever it popped up.
They'd been doing this for a few months now and were getting pretty good reading each other's signals outside the bunk. Inside the bunk had always been easy. Being naked with someone had never been particularly difficult for Han but there was not difficult and there was Leia. Very different things.
He'd figured out a while back that they weren't fucking. Fucking in the sense that it was sometimes hot and fast and a bit dirty but not fucking in the way he was used to. If it was fast it was cos they wanted it that way not cos he needed to get the hell out quickly. He wasn't so sure how he ended up here but the leaving part didn't appeal to him much these days.
"Okay, Rogues!" Luke clapped his hands together. "We've got places to be."
"We're not heading out till 0800." Hobbie was still, somehow, holding the fusebox. "Got plenty of time."
"Briefing tonight. Early start tomorrow." Luke pointed at the Rogues, putting on the serious Commander face that no one quite believed. "Get some rest because it's a long flight to the Lenoskil System."
"You're a real pain when put on the boss hat." Wedge groaned and pushed himself off his crate. "You know that, Skywalker?"
"Yeah, you've said."
Han held his hand out for the fusebox as the Rogues moved toward the door. Luke followed them out, turning back as he rounded the corridor to shrug and smile.
She almost had time to laugh at Luke's obvious ploy to give them time alone when Han's arm went around her waist. He pulled her back against him and dropped his head into the crook of her neck.
"Fuck, Leia." His voice was a low rumble.
He spun her around. A hand on the back of her neck and the other still around her waist, he bent her back and kissed her. It was a kiss from a holo, sweeping and grand. She pressed against him as her arms went around his neck and he felt a sense of relief that hadn't hit him in days.
Everything bottoms out. That's the rule. You might think you've got it figured out. You're on the way to the big payoff. Out of the slump or the hole you somehow landed in. There was never going to be an easy street, people like him would always have to hustle and scramble, but the goal was finding that thing, the big job or connection, to enjoy the spoils until the drop hit.
He kept things simple. Just him and Chewie moving from job to job, everything they needed on the Falcon. Everything he needed. But Chewie had a life beyond Han. A family he missed and wanted to return to. Han didn't like to plan much for the future, that job to job mentality, but he knew his life with Chewie was going to bottom out one day, too.
But he hadn't thought even that far with Leia. Under the circumstances, day to day seemed like the better option. This wasn't going to last forever because forever didn't exist. The plan was to leave when he had the money but that time kept getting stretched out. They were deep in dangerous territory most, if not all, of the time but he thought, if he thought, that the end would be on their terms.
When Artoo sent a message saying he'd spotted something in the trees, Han thought the droid was being overly cautious. Artoo wasn't as bad as his golden pal but both droids were a bit too dramatic for Han's taste. He'd made fun of Luke for bringing his astromech with him to Da'Sim. The whole Rogue squadron was on Home One preparing for a mission once Luke and Tycho returned. Artoo would've been fine back on the cruiser but Luke insisted he should come. Han mocked Luke, called Artoo his therapy droid, but he'd never do that again.
The man in the tree was easy enough to spot when they knew where to look. Han fired twice. Both shots landed, one more of a graze, and enough to make the guy lose his grip on his weapon and teeter on his perch. Chewie moved quickly up the tree and grabbed him. They had him on the ground, wrists bound behind his back in mere moments.
Han was calm at the time because it seemed almost ordinary. The usual chaos. They took the guy down thinking the Empire, or someone who wanted to impress the Empire, learned about the visit. It was war. Shit happens. But then the guy started going on about Leia. Said he wouldn't rest until she paid for her crimes.
Han's head immediately started spinning. This guy's sole reason for being there was to kill Leia. Han suddenly realized how close they were to losing her. How close he was to losing her.
He backed Leia into a crate and dropped a hand to the back of her thigh. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her up. Pressing her against the crate, he draped her legs around his hips. One arm went under her, the other pulled the hem of her shirt and tank top up and slid under, resting on her bare back.
"Hold on." She pulled back. "I need to catch my breath."
He lifted her higher, setting her on top of the crate.
"Breathe later."
Han pulled off his vest and tossed it behind him. His hands cupped her face as he kissed her, leaning her back until she was almost flat against the crate. She put a hand to his chest and pushed him back, laughing.
"Not here, flyboy." She sat up. "This place is too busy."
He took her hand and helped her jump off the crate.
"Let's go."
He walked behind her, hand on her back, almost directing her down the corridor. Chewie looked up from his meal as they entered the lounge.
[Nice seeing you, Princess.] Chewie chuckled as they walked by. [I was getting tired of all the sulking.]
She turned to look at Han but he kept moving, forcing her to walk backward for a few paces.
"Sulking?"
"Keep moving, Sweetheart."
He took hold of her shoulders and spun her around so she faced forward. When they were in the next corridor and out of Chewie's sight, he slapped her behind. Leia gasped, trying to sound offended, but didn't convince either of them.
As soon as they were behind closed doors, boots were kicked off. He paused long enough to hang his holster over the sole chair in the room. He was having trouble holding back, showing any restraint. She was here. He could hold and touch her.
Her hands went to his belt clasp.
"Leave it."
He pulled her shirt over her head. Tugged down the top of her tank and took a breast in hand and nipple in mouth. She bit her lip and ran her fingers through his hair.
"What do you mean, leave it?" She arched her back. "We're on a schedule but it's not that rushed."
He sat on the side of the bunk and she stepped between his legs. He undid her pants and helped her shimmy out of them.
His hands were immediately back on her hips. He nudged her top out of the way with his nose and licked along the edge of her underwear.
"Are you giving me the silent treatment?" She kept playing with his hair as he pushed her tank top up fully exposing her breast. His tongue did a quick circle around her nipple.
"If you wanted to talk, you should've answered the holo-call."
He pulled off her tank top then returned to her breast as she arched into him.
"I wasn't ignoring you."
He hadn't felt ignored. More frustrated. He tried her both nights but she didn't answer. Left him a message later saying she was alright. He knew she was working non-stop, probably thinking of nothing else, and that meant no sleep, and probably nightmares if she did.
The holo-calls started out as a good stop gap. A way to see her when there wasn't enough during the day and she wasn't going to sleep over. The rules and all. He claimed it was about trying for holo-sex, and he'd definitely go for it if she was willing, but it was more that he liked being the last person she talked to each day.
He swung her around and laid her on his bunk. Leaned over her. Hooking his fingers into her waistband, he pulled her underwear down as she lifted her hips.
She was naked in from of him. On his bunk.
This was his life.
After all the shifts and sideswipes that came his way, the stunts he'd pulled, the good decisions and the insane ones, he somehow got here. With Leia. They were together. And even if he didn't know how to define it, what it might mean or might be going, he wanted to hold on.
She ran her thumb over his lips. Smiled.
"It's good to see you." Her finger moved down his neck and across his collar bone. "Finally."
Han moved back and knelt beside the bed, pulling her closer. Nudged his nose along her inner thigh, positioning her legs over his shoulders.
Her scent drove him a bit mad. She always smelled good but when she was turned on, ready for him, it was beyond arousing. He liked the slow buildup of licking her, slipping a finger or two in, having her react to each move. He always wanted to make it last as long as he could, as long as she could, and loved it when her scent lingered. On him. In the air around them.
She held on to the back of his head, pulling his hair slightly, her heels digging into his back. She was moaning, softly begging in that way she did. It was often incoherent but sometimes saying his name, swearing. It made him laugh, was an easy target to mock her, that the most eloquent person he knew could forgot how to form words.
"Come up here." She tugged on his hair.
"No." His voice rumbled against her. "I want to watch you."
"Watch me from up here."
Han sprang from his position, landing with arms on either side of her and Leia let out a gasp that dissolved to a giggle at the sudden movement. She squeezed his hips with her thighs as they kissed, his weight pressing down on her.
He had to remind himself about their size difference. She was strong and could easily take control but he needed to keep himself in check. There were too many things happening for him at once. She was here and she almost wasn't. He wanted her to know how much he wanted her. He'd never felt this level of need before. Worry. Or maybe it was relief. He couldn't make sense of it all. Only that he wanted to watch her come, hear her. Feel her. That was the only part he understood so that's what he focused on.
He rolled them on their sides, facing each other, and rested her leg on his thigh. He used his hand, and small nips at her neck, to bring her to release. He bit his bottom lip watching her, feeling her rock against his hand and hips. Kissed her forehead when she relaxed back against the pillow.
"I was trying to get you…" She was having trouble catching her breath. "To join in."
Her skin was flushed and dewy. Slightly sticky from sweat and exertion. He kissed her shoulder. Pressed his tongue against her then gently sucked.
"You're going to leave a mark."
He kissed his way down her arm. Then her wrist. Then palm. Then took his fingers into his mouth, one after the other.
"Are you going to say anything?"
"Don't want to talk, Leia."
He rolled her on her back again. Taking a breast in hand, he sucked, brushed his teeth against her nipple.
She put a hand on his chin. "Look at me."
He raised an eyebrow at her while his tongue continued exploring.
Leia pushed him back gently and sat up.
"Is there anything we need to talk about?"
"Just said I don't want to talk." He sat back, leaning on an elbow.
"That doesn't mean there isn't something we need to discuss."
He didn't see a way out of this one. Once Leia decided a topic was on the table, there was no shaking it. His only option was to push through to the other side.
"You got something to say, Sweetheart, say it."
She sat up straighter and looked down on him. She was losing the rosy glow of her climax. It was a flush of anger now.
"Listen, I'm sorry if you're offended because I didn't pay enough attention to you these past few days but that's not really my problem."
He turned away and shook his head. "For fuck sake."
"I'm serious! I spent days in meetings and watching the interrogation. Reading reports and transcripts from whatever agents General Madine could contact." She moved to the center of the bunk to get a better view of him. Sat up with perfect posture. "It's been a difficult few days!"
"You don't think I know that!" He didn't move from his spot, leaning on his bent arm, affecting casual but radiating anger.
"I don't know, do you? Because you're acting like this is all about you."
"How is this all about me?" He waved a hand between them. "One of us is naked and just had a pretty good time. One of us is dressed and provided that good time."
"You're such an ass!" Leia hopped off the bunk and grabbed her tank top, pulling it on. "You reduce everything to sex. Who came, when, how hard. You can be a narcissist while giving head, you know."
"Why are you putting your shirt on?" He sat up.
"Because I don't feel like being naked right now."
"You always do this. Put clothes on before the cum is even dry."
"Before the…" She scowled at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? Who says things like that?"
She looked around the floor for her clothes but didn't make a move to pick anything up. This was how they fought lately. Same amount of anger. Less likely that one of them took off.
"Did I already use up all my time? Got a conference call you need to get back to?" He pushed forward and sat on the edge of the bunk again. "We should've started the stopwatch when you got here. Would've managed my time a bit better."
She stood in front of him with arms crossed over her chest. If he wasn't so furious he might have teased her about her outfit of tank top and nothing else.
"Where is all of this coming from?" She was angry and assessing him. "Chewie's right. You are sulking."
"I'm not sulking!"
"Well, you're something."
That comment wasn't up to her usual standards but they both moved past it.
"You're surprised?"
"I'm certainly confused about what is happening right now."
"Someone tried to kill you!" That came out a lot louder than he intended. "They were right fucking there, Leia! Had you in their sights."
"I wasn't in his sights. I was inside. He was spotted and captured well before I was in danger."
"Before you were in danger?! It was pure fucking luck he didn't get a shot in as we arrived."
Her eyes were wide, surprised by his volume, and he didn't let up. Why stop when you're on a roll?
"Don't give me the we're at war, bullshit. He wasn't Empire and he got past all the security measures." He felt his own face redden with anger. "No one was supposed to know you were there! But this guy was there before us. He was waiting for you!"
She worried about everyone but herself. Never played the princess card. Took it for granted that there was always someone gunning for her. Behaved like it didn't matter either way what happened. It was infuriating. How could she not see it?
"And you were avoiding me!" He pointed at her. His go to move that he didn't notice he was doing. "You knew you'd have to deal with this shit if you saw me cos I wouldn't let you get away with acting like everything was normal. You avoided my calls. Kept away from the Falcon. Hiding or whatever."
"Or whatever? It's called working!"
"Yeah, I know, the rebellion comes first. You think this damn rebellion is getting anywhere without you?"
He was still shouting. Han knew it wasn't the best way to get his point across but he also wasn't entirely sure what point he was trying to make. He only knew she was standing in front of him, arms crossed and no pants, and he was losing his mind thinking how close they came to this not happening. To her not being here.
"Next time we might not be so lucky. You're gonna stick your neck out. Fine! I get it! But c'mon. This is bullshit. Somebody knows something and you're left dangling!"
She stared at him for a few beats.
"Why are you yelling?" She was calm now. Back to assessing him.
"What?" He blinked at her a few times.
"Why are you yelling at me? If you want me to know you're concerned, this is an odd way to show it."
He didn't know if she was trying to get him going again. It was an old fight tactic between the two of them. Get everything riled up then one of them stepped back, acted calm and unconcerned to drive the other around the bend. It was back when they had trouble finding a balance or even ground. One always needed to have control once their tempers got the best of them.
It played to their stubborn and competitive sides. Spoke to their inability to communicate their feelings, potential feelings, desires, in any other way. They still fought after they started messing around, clearly, but they'd managed to keep things somewhat separate.
It was never like those holo-dramas that Jaina liked watching. The couple fighting and screaming at each other on minute than fucking a second a later. Han wasn't sure how he and Leia managed it but they avoided angry sex. There was lots of adrenaline sex. Getting out of a firefight or around an Imperial blockade could easily roll into Han bracing her against a wall and going at it fast and furious. If it was just the two of them, they might not get out of the cockpit before they were on each other.
He was letting himself get spun around. Trying to figure out her move, trying to determine if she was laying any kind of trap for him. Playing out multiple reasons and scenarios in his head. Pushing aside every other time he let himself get too deep in. Every woman. Circling back to everything they'd said to each other that night, everything he could remember her saying to him since they started sleeping together, knew each other, and he kept landing on one thing.
Leia standing in front of him. In his cabin. Half-naked.
This was his life.
"I don't know." Han rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "I don't know, Leia."
She stepped closer and put a hand on his jaw. He looked up at her. She was concerned about him and that almost knocked him out. There was no use in her worrying about him.
"That guy was coming for you, Leia, and you're acting like it barely registered."
"Of course it was a big deal. But getting angry then, or now, doesn't get us answers."
"Think being angry at the guy was a pretty natural reaction." His hands moved to her hips.
"I needed you to listen to reason." Her fingers went through his hair again, much more gently this time. "Anger is necessary at times, I know, but in that instance I didn't want to worry about you flying off in a rage and halfcocked."
"Sure." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You prefer the full cock."
She smiled. Gave his ear a small tug as she brushed past it.
"For the record, I did want to talk to you. But the interrogations took so long. Then sifting through intel trying to discover any information."
Han watched her carefully. She was calm again. They both were.
"You got nothing from him?"
She shook her head. "He wasn't willing to give up anything more. Repeated the same mantras over and over."
"But you dug up more stuff."
"Madine's team did."
Han held her hips, back at the small circles with his thumb, as she filled him in.
They knew his name. Grillarn Mesry. He came from a well-to-do family on Ralltiir, educated at private schools, and cut off ties with his family when he was twenty. In the past few years, he tried to join two different Rebel cells, on Rogatu and Vindar, but wasn't admitted. Both cells called Mesry unstable and volatile. He was on the Empire's watch list for suspected terrorist activities on Coruscant and Kuat. He was last seen on Vallecx, a small planet in the Yarlynas System, where many beings went to live off the grid. Mesry was arrested for public disturbance, aggressively confronting residents with his theories on Imperial mind control, and hadn't been heard from since.
"So, at some point in the last six months, he switched from blaming Palpatine to you?"
"Seems so." She gave him a small smile. "We still don't know how he came to that conclusion, if anyone helped him along, or how he learning about Da'Sim."
"What about everyone there? You gonna move them."
She shook her head again. "They refuse to leave. For the time being at least, they consider it their home and they don't want to lose another home."
She concentrated on his hair. Brushing it aside. Trying to tame the wilder bits.
"Leia." He waited for her to look at him. "I'm not ready."
"For what?"
"For this bottom to drop out."
She furrowed her brow, trying to understand what he was saying. He didn't turn away, drop her gaze. Hoped she could follow along because he didn't know how to provide any more information.
Leia rested her forehead against his, let out a low sigh. "This one was frightening. More than the usual."
He leaned up to kiss her, gently. Softly pressing his lips against hers, lingering for a beat or two. His hand went to her cheek as foreheads pressed together again.
"Guess this means one thing."
She rubbed her nose against his, waiting for his response.
"Guess this means I'm getting on every mission with you."
Leia laughed softly as she moved back on to the bunk and he followed.