Kate's POV
"What… What do you mean who am I? I'm… it's… it's me Kate, your girlfriend" I shook, struggling to get out words as my heart raced, part of me praying to God that he was joking. I knew he wasn't but still… I was in denial, hoping that he would come clean about something that wasn't even true. I felt a tear well up in my eye.
"Girlfriend?... no I don't have a… I…" Rick started as he looked around the room. "Where am I?" he asked.
"Rick… listen to me… you-"
"Rick? Is that my name?" he asked, cutting me off and giving me another intense drop of my heart. My face felt hot as I felt as though I was about to pass out. My fur stood up, making me want to break down as I attempted to cope with the worst.
"Yes… you have a family… a family that loves you, and I'm not just talking about Angel and your parents-"
"Angel?" Rick asked, looking back to me again as his ears twitched. Suddenly a small part of me felt relieved.
"Yes… Angel… do you remember her?" I asked. Part of me was happy that he might remember her, but what if she was the only one that he did remember and I had to tell him that she was dead, making him grief over her again. Sadly though, it didn't happen. Rick shook his head as he stared at me.
"I don't know who that is…" he said. I stared at him as my vision blurred, tears building up as I began to breathe heavily. Finally I wrapped my arms around him, scaring him as I began to sob hysterically. Why? Fucking why? Why did this have to happen to us? Why couldn't things just be the same? I hugged him tightly, upset and angry. I wanted to hurt someone for what I was going through. People were out living their best life and here was my family never getting a fucking break. I felt Rick's heart beat fast as I hugged him, sobbing loudly. It reminded me of when we were in bed cuddling and I would listen to his heart beat as I rested my ear on his chest. Often it would help me fall asleep, that and his embrace. Now though it was because I was scaring him, and for that I felt awful but I didn't let go. I clung to him even after I felt his arm wrap around me with his hand on my back. I felt it which only made me cry harder.
"I… I-I-I… still… love… you…" I cried loudly in between fast breaths. Suddenly I felt his grip loosen which made me worried. "Rick?" I said, pulling back to see that he was back asleep. My heart dropped again. As stupid as it was I thought that I might have killed him, even though I could still slightly feel his heartbeat. I panicked. Hitting the call button and waiting for an answer as my heart raced even more.
"Hello? Is something wrong?" I heard a voice say from the remote.
"Yes! He just woke up but I think something's wrong. Please get in here!" I yelled. I didn't hear a response. Instead I heard footsteps down the hall quickly approaching the room. I got off of Rick and stood back as Stevens and a couple of other doctors entered the room. They approached him quickly, checking on him when Stevens asked me what happened.
"I-I-I don't know… he woke up and didn't remember who he was and then he just went back to sleep. Is he okay?" I asked worriedly. The doctors checked his pulse and heart rate as Stevens came over to comfort me.
"Follow me" he said, wrapping an arm around me to guide me out of the room. I didn't argue, I just followed him until we were around the corner of the doorway. Stevens shut the curtain and then turned to me.
"Please tell me he's gonna be okay" I pleaded, tears still streaming down my face.
"Hey it's okay, it's okay. Come here" he said, pulling me into a hug. Honestly I felt as though it was odd at first but then remembered the small acquaintance we had built from me visiting so often. He hugged me for a moment, hushing me to get me to calm down as if I was a small child. And thanks to mom babying me all the years of my life it worked… eventually. It took about five minutes until I was calm enough to the point where my cries were just soft gasps with the occasional sniff. "You okay?" he asked, looking down at me with raised eyebrows that showed concern.
"Is he okay?" I asked back. Stevens sighed.
"I don't know, you haven't told me what happened," he replied. I wiped a tear from my eye, trying to catch my breath still when I looked up at him again.
"He… he finally woke up… and he didn't remember anything. Not who he was, not who his family was… me" I said, begging to cry again.
"And then?" Stevens asked.
"And then… I broke down… I hugged him which I know I shouldn't have done but I couldn't help myself-"
"It's okay Kate. What you did wasn't wrong. Go on" Stevens said. I sniffed again before continuing.
"He hugged me back… but when I looked back at him he was asleep… that's when I hit the alarm" I explained, looking over to the curtain which led to the room. I couldn't hear much noise in there. I guess everything was going fine. Stevens went to say something but before he could the two doctors walked out of the room, pulling the curtain as they stepped out. Stevens turned to them immediately.
"Well?" he asked.
"He's fine. Looks like it was just a minimally conscious state" the female nurse answered.
"Minimal state? What is that?" I asked, feeling nervous again. Stevens and the other doctors looked at me before Stevens turned to them and gave them a nod.
"Thank you" he said. The two nodded and then went back to what they were doing. Stevens turned back to me and saw the worry on my face. "A minimally conscious state is when a patient wakes up from a coma only for a moment. When this happens they are usually in a state of mind that isn't their own. This means they can panic, talk nonsense, or in your case not remember anything" Stevens explained. I felt a wave of relief, but only a small amount.
"So… that wasn't him? There's still hope?" I asked, not wanting the right answers, but the answers that I wanted to hear.
"Well… I don't want to get your hopes up Kate. he could still wake up as he was but there is a chance that he'll be just fine… it could happen again, and the outcome could be different" he explained.
"Is there anything I can do?" I asked, my ears flattening. Stevens hesitated before coming up with something.
"Yes… do what you've been doing. It's the best medicine for someone who's in a coma. Hold their hand, talk to them, make them feel loved. What you say they might be able to hear. That's not a myth. And I'm sure that if his love is as strong for you as you are with him, then he can hear every word" Stevens explained with a smile. I smiled back at him and gave him another hug. He hugged me back for a moment before letting go. "Your relationship is strong. What you two have is something only fairytales could make up. So don't lose hope" he added.
"I don't plan to," I smiled. Stevens smiled back before offering some advice.
"Listen, I gotta get back to it. Why don't you go to the bathroom, clean yourself up and grab a cup of water or something. If you want I can send something up for you" he offered.
"No, no I'm fine… water sounds nice" I sighed, looking behind me.
"Well… you know where to find me" Stevens said before walking past me, and off to go do his work. I watched him as he walked down the hall and then turned back to the room. I took a peek through the curtain to see Rick laying in bed, back in his coma. It sucked that we seemed so close to getting somewhere. But I was more than grateful that there was still hope. I walked over to the bathroom down the hall, walking inside and shutting the door behind me. There was no need to lock it as I wasn't actually using it. I just strolled up to the mirror and looked into it.
What I saw was a sad wolf looking back at me, eyes a tad bit red and fur stained with tears. I began to run some cold water and cupped my hands together. Once they were about halfway full I splashed it on my face. It felt so good on my eyes. So much so that I began to rub it in a bit which also helped me wake up. After that I rubbed my fur, trying to dry it and walked out. I made a quick stop at the water cooler and filled the small plastic cup with some, taking a refreshing sip. As always the water was freezing and felt amazing as it hit the back of my throat. I drank about half of it and then refilled it before heading back to the room.
When I made it back I took my seat, placing the cup on the floor and then leaning over to take Rick's hand again. Just sitting there holding it made me feel so many things. I hadn't even begun talking but I felt emotional. I should tell the others about this but… Lilly and Humphrey are doing their own thing, I don't want to disturb them from making up. Mom and dad are at work I'm pretty sure. They will find out but I could still tell someone without disrupting too much. After all, Shaky did make the offer. I let go of Rick's hand for a moment to dig in my pocket and grab my phone. I dialed his number and put it to my ear. I heard three rings before he picked up.
"Hey Kate, you alright?" he asked. I felt bad bothering him but I wanted to tell at least someone. I wanted to tell everyone and was fighting the urge but… one at a time.
"Hey Shaky… I'm not bothering you, am I?" I asked with a hint of sadness.
"No, we weren't doing anything. Why what's happening?" he asked, sounding very casual.
"It's Rick. he woke up," I answered, looking at him as he slept. There was a brief pause.
"He did?" Shaky asked.
"Yeah… but it's… Shaky it's…" I stuttered. Feeling tears well up again.
"Do you want me to come down there?" he asked. I took a moment to think if I did. I did want him here, but I had already wasted so much of everyone's time that I couldn't stand the thought of taking even more. "I'm on my way" Shaky said, not even letting me give an answer.
"Shaky wait, you don't have to-"
"Rick is my brother, and if you're telling me that he's up I want to see him. I'll be right there" Shaky said.
"Shaky wait… come alone" I said, knowing that Stephanie heard him and would want to come. There was another pause.
"Why?" Shaky asked. I could already tell that he was dreading telling her that she would have to stay.
"It's just… it's not good here, okay?" I said. Another pause.
"Okay" Shaky said, sounding scared now, and nervous. He was already picking up that there was something wrong with Rick. "I'll be right there" he said before I heard him hang up. I lowered the phone from my ear and sighed as I slipped it back in my pocket. I then reached over, taking Rick's hands again. It felt lifeless as usual. I looked over to him again, taking note that he was getting skinnier. Three months without eating would do that to you I guess. It's a shame that even after he recovered, he would still need to recover from recovering. I scoffed in anger. I hated that bitch for what she did to him. Hated her… I fucking hated her. For what she did not only to him, but his sister… to my family. In the end though it didn't matter right now. What mattered was Rick and his recovery, and the healing of everything. We did it multiple times, but never to this extent. All of a sudden I remembered what Stevens said to me. Just keep doing what you were doing, he might hear you. I lifted Rick's hand with mine and gave it a soft peck and then held it to my face.
"You know… Stevens told me that whenever you talk to someone in a coma they might actually hear it… I've been talking to you all this time… holding you like you held me that day… it's crazy how we got here right? It… kinda brings up a question for me… if you knew all this was going to happen… would you still have gone for me? I don't think you would have… I guess it just proves that I'm not good for you and… you would've been better off without me. I still think you would be… but now you might need me now more than ever. I really hope that you're fine. Stevens said that there's still a chance that… you might be alright. Whatever state he mentioned, I don't remember what it was called… but at least I know you're capable of waking up… I just really, really hope you're okay when you do it again… Rick, I've been here for almost four months waiting for you to wake up… four… I… I would wait longer… but I don't want to. I know you're trying your absolute hardest to keep yourself together, and that it can't be easy with everything that happened… but you gotta push just a little but further… just a little more… for me… for your family. Please… don't make me lose you again, I need you. It might be selfish of me to say that but I don't care, I want you and I want you so bad. So… fucking bad… it's been hell living without you… and now that I'm this close…" I looked up at him to see that of course he hadn't moved. Eyes still shut as he breathed calmly.
"Rick… I love you… dont you ever forget that. And I know that… even though I don't deserve it, you love me too… more than I'll ever know… I believe that… I know you love me, and I know you love me a lot but still it's not as much as I could ever comprehend and that's why I'm still here, to show you that I am the exact same way. When you wake up there's no more problems, nothing. It'll be just you and me and we can focus on our life. We can work on our careers, get our own place, have pups eventually… But what if you don't remember me? Angel… I'll still be here for you but… it will hurt me so bad, to see you so lost" I explained as I continued to look for some type of reaction. Something, anything.
"Rick… please… come back to me… I know that if you can hear me you've already heard me say it, and you've heard me say it a lot but please come back to me… even if you're lost when you wake up, I'll be lost without you… you are my everything" I said, beginning to feel sad again. I placed my other hand over his again to comfort him.
"I'm here… and I love you… I'll always be here… always with you… I'll never leave you, I promise" I said, kissing his hand again. I lowered it, keeping my light grip as I looked into his closed eyes. Still no response. I started to feel angry again. Angry about all that happened and how easily it could've been avoided. That stupid fucking bitch. I would kill her all over again if I could. I thought that but reliving everything made me scared. Made me worried about my future as well as life after death. Being reunited with everyone. I bit my lip, trying not to break down. It wasn't long before I let go and rested my head over our hands. I nuzzled his fingers to get as comfy as possible. It wasn't anywhere near where I wanted to be but at least I got to sleep next to my lover, even if it wasn't in the same bed. No, for now I was stuck in this uncomfortable hospital chair. But hopefully the wait would be worth it and even if it wasn't I would still be here for him. At the same time I was so tired that I had somehow managed to fall asleep. I closed my eyes, nuzzling his hand and then I was out.
As I slept I didn't remember dreaming of anything. When I woke up it was because of a light shake on my shoulder. I inhaled as I sat up startled. When I looked to my left I saw Shaky with a grin on his face. It was a nervous one but a grin nonetheless. I looked at him tiredly, blinking a few times before yawning and stretching.
"Hey Shaky" I said. I felt like death, like I could collapse at any moment. I was so tired.
"Hey Kate… I thought… I thought he was awake" Shaky said, looking over at Rick. I followed his gaze to the poor wolf who lay in bed unconscious and sighed.
"He was…" I replied, sadly looking at him as well. I then turned to Shaky, offering a look of sadness. "Why don't you take a seat?" I asked.
"Alright" Shaky said awkwardly with a raised eyebrow. He walked over to the other side of the room to grab a chair where Lilly usually sat. He then brought it over next to me and placed it down. I took a sip from my now warm water as I waited for him, struggling to think of how I was going to tell him this. "So… what happened?" he asked
"Well… he was up earlier. He spoke but it was only for a moment before he went back under" I explained, turning my head back to my lover.
"He spoke?" Shaky asked.
"Yeah…" I answered, knowing he wanted to know what he said but I was still struggling on how I would tell him.
"Well what did he say Kate?" Shaky asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I turned to him, looking him right in the eyes.
"It's… not easy to say… he… he asked who I was… where he was… who Angel was…" I explained before I began to tear up again. Not only was it that that made me tear up but it was Shaky's reaction as well. Watching the little bit of hope he had on his face fade was something I hated seeing.
"He didn't… remember… Angel?" Shaky asked with a crack in his voice. I knew that if I spoke it would be enough to make me burst into tears. So instead of saying anything I simply shook my head as my lips quivered. I then watched tears form in Shaky's eyes before he began to cry, breaking down almost instantly. "No… no…" he sobbed quietly. I leaned over, patting his shoulder and getting close to comfort him.
"Shaky…" I managed to get out before he pulled me into a hug. At first I was surprised, but it didn't take long until I hugged him back.
"He cant… he has to remember her!" he sobbed. I couldn't think of a thing to say, so I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut as Shaky hugged me. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, then another on the other side. "What… What else did he s-s-say?" Shaky asked between sobs. I choked on my own tears as I attempted to answer him.
"Not… not much" I replied. Shaky let go of me, leaning back to face me. He looked down as he sobbed, tears streaming down his face and falling onto his lap.
"Why isn't he awake now?" he asked.
"The doctor said that this happens with patients. They… they wake up for a moment not themselves and go back into it… and maybe the next time they wake up everything is fine" I explained. I watched a bit of hope come back into Shaky's eyes.
"So then…"
"I'm not sure… he said not to get our hopes up… but there is still a chance… that he remembers Angel" I explained, putting a hand on his leg. Shaky looked over to Rick again as he breathed shakily, trying to calm himself.
"He has to" Shaky said before getting up and walking over to him completely. I stood up out of the chair to give him some room, all we really did though was swap seats. Shaky sat down and took Rick's hand, looking into his closed eyes as he spoke. "Come on brother… you need to wake up… and you need to remember" Shaky said.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked. Shaky turned back to me, not saying anything for a second. He shook his head and then gave an answer.
"No… I just… he needs to hear this" he answered, turning back to him. "Rick… brother… you've been here almost four months… you're getting skinny, you look sick… and we're going crazy without you. We need you, all of us. Your brothers, your sister, and your girlfriend… we're all going crazy without you… it was bad losing one of us, even worse that it was the love of my life, but I don't want to lose you in any way. But know that… if you do wake up… and you don't remember us… then we'll remember you, and all the good times you gave us. We'll remember how happy we would be around you, and the joy you brought into our lives… and even after all of that… we'll never leave your side… we'll be there even after the end… all this death and chaos has given me so much to think about… and I… I… I still have faith… faith that you'll pull through because if you don't… life will be worse than it already is. But know that we'll still be here for you, we'll still love you, and we'll help you remember… Even if the memories are bad, you can't forget Angel… how close you guys were… it can't go to waste, I won't let it… maybe you think you would be better off being with her now, but she wants you to live, to move on without her, and start this new life, but to do that you have to wake up, and you have to remember… please Rick please… just remember… us… Angel… for the love of God at least remember Angel. Even if it means forgetting me just please remember your fucking sister" Shaky began to sob again as he leaned over on the bed. I watched, feeling sad for him.
"Hey… you okay?" I asked. It was all I could think to say. Shaky turned his head partially in my direction. I couldn't see his face but I knew he was hurting.
"No… I'm not" he shook.
"We just have to hold out… it's all we can do, and hopefully when he wakes up everything's okay" I said, trying to sound optimistic even though I wasn't, and the sadness in my voice proved it as well as made me sound like a total hypocrite.
"I hope so… because lately… it's been bad Kate… real bad" Shaky said. He turned to me, tears still in his eyes. "You haven't slept yet have you?" he asked. I shook my head.
"Not since you came here" I answered. Shaky sighed, looking down at the floor and then moved his seat away from the bed, and up against the wall.
"Come here" he instructed. I stood up and slowly went to move over to him. "Bring the chair," he added. I turned, seeing the lonely seat and picked it up. I carried it over to Shaky who held his hand out, I gave it to him and so he set it down next to the other. "Listen Kate, if you're not gonna go home and get some rest I get it, especially now. But at least sleep here right now. I can keep an eye out if he wakes up" Shaky explained. I looked down at the chairs, and then back at him. "Please?" he asked.
"Fine… but… I really don't want to lay down on those" I said. Shaky looked down at the chairs and then back at me.
"Well, what other ideas do you have?" he asked. I sat down on one of the chairs, and then took Shaky's hand to sit him next to me. He sat, staring into my eyes the whole time. He looked confused. That went away however when I rested my head on his shoulder. He sighed. I guess everything made sense now. As I rested my head on his shoulder he rested his to the left, putting his head on mine.
"Thanks for being here for me" I said.
"Of course" Shaky said as the two of us stared at Rick. I kept my eyes on him as they closed and just like before I managed to finally get some sleep. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world but at least it was something. If I was in my bed I would've easily slept about ten hours. But because of where I was I managed to somehow get three. When I woke up I still felt sleepy, but it was the type of sleepy where you knew you couldn't just go back to sleep. I groaned, lifting my head off of Shaky who hasn't moved much. He was slumped over on the counter next to him, taking his own nap. I laughed lightly at the sight.
"You were supposed to keep watch" I joked and then fully got up. I stretched, feeling satisfying pops and then looked at Rick again. Still asleep. I sighed, my ears lowering. I then turned to the window to look outside. It was still sunny. I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time. Seven o'clock. Well I guess I might as well make the best of this time. I sat, going to dial Lilly's number. If I was going to tell everyone, I wanted to do it either all at once, or one at a time. Only one of those was an option though. I dialed Lilly's number and put the phone to my ear. It rang multiple times before going to voicemail. I guess she and Humphrey were busy. The phone beeped, letting me know to leave a message.
"Hey Lilly. It's your sister. I just wanted to call and let you know about Rick. I think it's better if I tell you over the phone. Could you call me back when you get a chance? Love you, bye" I said. I hung up the call to see that Shaky had woken up. He looked tired himself as he squinted at me, sitting up.
"You're up?" he asked.
"Yeah. he's still out. I tried to dial Lilly but no answer" I explained. Shaky shrugged as the two of us looked at the wolf asleep in bed.
"I guess their busy" Shaky said, making a hole with his fingers and using his pointer finger on his other hand to go through the whole in a sexual recreation. I laughed.
"It's only seven," I said.
"So? You and Rick never had sex at seven o'clock?" Shaky asked. I laughed again.
"I don't know, I was never one to check" I smiled. Shaky smiled back at me.
"It's really good to see you smile again. Never thought I would" he said. I cocked my head to the side.
"Yeah… it feels good to smile… I never thought I would either. Even now it's just one thing after the next. We never seem to have happiness anymore; it's just pain, pain, pain. At least Humphrey and Lilly are relatively untouched" I explained. Shaky nodded.
"Yeah, I'm happy for them. But don't jinx them" Shaky said. I sighed.
"Yeah… didn't mean to" I replied. There was a slight awkward silence before I spoke again. "You know, I'm not picking up on any sexual scents. Were you and Stephanie going at it when I called?" I asked. Shaky laughed.
"No… no we weren't. She wanted to but… I don't know, I just got done with school and I wanted to take a moment so…" he began.
"So…" I urged. Shaky smiled again.
"We… were watching SpongeBob'' he finished. I laughed again.
"What's wrong with SpongeBob?" I asked.
"Nothing, nothing… I guess it just feels weird to be watching something for kids when your so old you know?" Shaky asked. I offered a confused stare.
"You're only seventeen" I said.
"I know but… it just doesn't feel like it I guess" Shaky explained as he sat back in his chair. His smile now completely gone as he stared at Rick. I followed his gaze again and then turned back to him.
"You know… I don't think any of us truly ever grow up. There's always gonna be something from our childhood that we bring with us. I guess it just matters what we do with it" I explained.
"I guess," Shaky shrugged.
"So… are you and Stephanie…" I began to ask, nervous of what answer I might get.
"No… no, I already told you. Angel is my love" he said. I nodded.
"I know… but Shaky… you're almost out of high school, what's the plan with her after you graduate?" I asked. Again Shaky shrugged.
"I don't know… I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Shaky said. I offered a light smile to brighten him up a bit before changing subjects again.
"You know I talked with Rick earlier. Not really but you know what I mean" I said.
"Yeah, yeah I got ya" Shaky urged.
"I was telling him basically what you did. That we'll take care of him, and love him no matter what. That is true but… I dont know I'm terrified. Terrified of a lot of things like… what if I don't take care of him? Or something happens?" I asked.
"Kate, you can not think like that. We've made it this far, something has got to give in. and even if it doesn't, and he wakes up not knowing who he is, I know that you'll take care of him no matter what. All of us will, but you… you'll be there with him the whole time" Shaky explained, making me smile.
"Yeah I told him. I said that no matter what happens I love him, and that I'll always be with him" I explained, turning from Rick to Shaky again. When I did though I saw his smile fade instantly, from slight joy to pure horror. It was almost as if his face flushed. I felt my face grow confused again as I looked at him, studying his expression and mood change. "You okay?" I asked. It took a second but he began to nod.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine" he said. I kept the same look as I stared into his eyes but something caught my attention. I heard an inhale from across the room, making the two of us turn to Rick. he was waking up again. He gritted his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut before rubbing them and opening them up. My heart raced as I felt my fur stand up and my neck go hot again. Please let him be okay. Rick shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut again and then once again opened them. He then turned to his left, towards us. His eyes locked on to Shaky and I as we both waited almost terrified to see what would happen. I only needed to hear him speak.
Authors note- hello and thank you for reading another chapter. I know I said that I was going to take a month off to get some things sorted, and I still haven't, but once that first chapter came out I immediately wanted to write more so that's exactly what I did. Now though things for this arc are beginning to wrap up and I'm getting ready to move on to the next one.
However like I said I still need to sort some things out with my life. Not only that but I want to take time to begin working on a new story and get it out in time for halloween. Once that's done I will come back to this so again one month at most I will be gone. But don't worry I will come back to this.
You know it's really hard to believe that this story is almost a year old. I remember writing those first chapters and not letting up. Nothing has changed and I still have the same passion as I did back then. But if you made it this far then you know that times are very different. I just want to thank you for reading this much and leaving reviews and enjoying this. Speaking of which I was surprised to see people actually enjoying it. I was beginning to feel like things were getting very stale and boring to read but I guess not. I felt like absolutely nothing interesting or good was happening. I just fear that people will get bored and not come back. Even if that does happen though to an extent, the show must go on.
Again I want to thank you for reading everything thus far, and I will be back but for now I got some things to work on, and I wanted to release one more chapter to let you know so that I don't just disappear. So again. One month at most to get things sorted, and get this new story out and finished. Till next time.